The day of the Bar Mitzvah-General Laws:

6. The day of the Bar Mitzvah-General Laws:[1] 

A. Being involved in matters of holiness throughout the 24 hours:

The boy should be supervised throughout the entire day of his Bar Mitzvah to make sure that he spends his time in matters of holiness and Torah learning and that he should not Heaven Forefend say any improper words or get angry on that day.[2]

With the approach of the evening:[3] Towards the approach of the evening of the night of the Bar Mitzvah, by Bein Hashmashos, the child is to the involved in assiduous Torah learning, and take upon himself good resolutions.   

B. Learning Torah throughout the day:[4]

On the day of the Bar Mitzvah, the child is to learn Torah more than usual. He is not to stop from learning Torah on that day, neither by daytime or nighttime.

C. Learning Mishnayos:[5]

It is proper for the Bar Mitzvah boy to learn Mishnayos on the day of his Bar Mitzvah as Mishnayos contains the same wording as Neshama.

D. Not to get angry:[6]

On the day of the Bar Mitzvah, the child is to be especially careful not to get angry on that day.

 

E. Asking for forgiveness from one’s parents:[7]

It is proper that on the day of the Bar Mitzvah the child ask his parents for forgiveness if he had not acted appropriately towards them during his previous years.

F. Shabbos clothing:[8]

On the day of the Bar Mitzvah, it is customary for the parents and Bar Mitzvah boy to wear Shabbos clothing, In addition of course to the Bar Mitzvah boy himself.

G. Leading the prayer as Chazan:[9]

Some are accustomed to have the Bar Mitzvah boy lead the prayers for Davening.

H. Tachanun

Some[10] communities are accustomed not to say Tachanun in the presence of a Bar Mitzvah boy on the day of his Bar Mitzvah, and so is the widespread Sephardic custom in Eretz Yisrael. Other[11] communities are accustomed to reciting Tachanun on the day of the Bar Mitzvah, and so is the widespread Ashkenazi customs and so is the Chabad custom.

I. Shehechiyanu:[12]

When a boy reaches 13 years of age, it is proper for him to recite Shehechiyanu on a new fruit or garment.

L. Visiting the Ohel:[13]

Those who are nearby should visit the resting place of the Rebbe Rayatz on the day of the Bar Mitzvah.

Reviewing the Mamar:[14] It is proper for the Bar Mitzvah boy to review the Chasidic discourse of Isa Bemidrash Tehillim while by the Ohel.

_________________________________________________________________

[1] See Shaareiy Bar Mitzvah 4; Nitei Gavriel chapter 5

[2] Sefer Betov Yerushalayim chapter 2; Nitei Gavriel 5:8

[3] Nitei Gavriel 5:10

[4] Kaf Hachaim 225:12; Nitei Gavriel 5:7

[5] Kaf Hachaim 225:12; Nitei Gavriel 5:1

[6] Sefer Betov Yerushalayim chapter 2; Nitei Gavriel 5:8

[7] Nitei Gavriel 5:15

[8] Ben Ish Chaiy Rei 17; Nitei Gavriel p. 116

[9] See M”A 225:4 “Or at the time that he Davens [for the Amud as Chazan]”

[10] Custom of Egyptian Jewry, brought in Nehar Mitzrayim, Ketzos Hashulchan 24 footnote 19; 65 footnote 15; Yabia Omer 1/27; 4/14; Yechaveh Daas 2/15; Yaskil Avdi 2/15; Mishpitei Uziel 11; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 131/24 footnote 141

[11] Igros Kodesh 25:169 that so is the custom of Israel; 28:507; Reshimos 59; Toras Menachem 33:285; HeichalMenachem 1:45; Az Nidbaru 11/40; See Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

Chassidic custom: Some Chassidic communities do not recite Tachanun on the day of the Bar Mitzvah. [Darkei Chaim Veshalom 192]

[12] Ben Ish Chaiy Riei 17; Kaf Hachaim 225:11; Ginzei Yosef 4; Hisvadyus 1988 vol. 3 p. 152 [146] letter 10; Although in Likkutei Sichos 11:289; Hisvadyus 5742 2:1112; Shevach Yakar p. 10 the Rebbe explains that the Shehechiyanu is not to be recited over the wearing of Tefillin, or on the fact of becoming Bar Mityzvah alone, nevertheless there is no issue with reciting Shehechiyanu on a new fruit and having the above also in mind.

[13] Igros Kodesh 26:247; See Kuntrus Bar Mitzvah 5653:20 of the visitation of the Rebbe Rayatz to the resting place of his holy grandparents on the day of his bar mitzvah, and how the Rebbe Rashab asked his father and grandfather to bless the child. 

[14] Heichal Menachem 1:217

Was this article helpful?

Related Articles

Leave A Comment?