Chapter 27: Mourning laws applicable to Holidays

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Chapter 27: Mourning laws applicable to Holidays:[1]

 

 Introduction:

The following chapter will deal with how the mourning laws and customs apply on Yom Tov and as to how to calculate Shiva and Shloshim if it is greeted by Yom Tov. For the laws of death and burial applicable to the day of Yom Tov, See Volume 1 Chapter 4 Halacha 3B!

 

1. The law that Yom Tov nullifies Shiva:

A. The general rule:[2]

If ones relative died and was buried before Yom Tov [i.e. Pesach, Shavuos, Sukkos, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, as explained in E], and one already began the mourning/Shiva customs before Yom Tov began, then the holiday ceases the mourning and ends the requirement of keeping Shiva.[3] This applies even if the burial took place very close to the start of Yom Tov and one thus only mourned for a mere hour [or for even a mere moment[4]] before Yom Tov.

The requirement to begin the Shiva beforehand:[5] In order for the Yom Tov to nullify the Shiva, one must already begin the Shiva at least sometime beforehand, as stated above. It suffices to keep any of the laws beforehand, even the discreet laws of mourning kept on Shabbos during Shiva. [Even if the only act of mourning that was done was to remove one’s leather shoes after the burial, and walk without them for a short amount of time, it suffices to nullify the Shiva.[6] Likewise, if one did Keriah it suffices.[7]] However, if one did not keep any of the laws of mourning/Shiva beforehand, then the Yom Tov does not nullify the Aveilus, [and his law follows the same law as one who buried the deceased on Chol Hamoed, as explained in Halacha 4C[8]]. This applies whether the cause of one not keeping the laws of Aveilus is due to lack of knowledge [i.e. Shogeg] or due to pure negligence [i.e. Meizid, even though there was time to keep Aveilus[9]], or simply due to the burial ending close to dark, and there not being enough time before Yom Tov to do so.[10] It goes without saying that if one was not even aware of the death/burial prior to Yom Tov that Yom Tov does not nullify the Shiva.[11] [Certainly, if the burial did not yet even take place, and will occur after Yom Tov or during Chol Hamoed, the Shiva is not nullified by the Yom Tov.]

The status of the Holiday and Shiva in a case that the Holiday did not nullify the Shiva: See Halacha 5!

Started Aveilus on Shabbos Erev Yom Tov:[12] In the event that news of the death/burial [i.e. Shemua Kerova] arrived on Shabbos which is Erev Yom Tov, then it suffices for the relative to practice the discreet laws of mourning/Shiva that is kept on Shabbos during Shiva, for the Yom Tov to then nullify the Shiva.

Died on Erev Yom Tov and buried on Yom Tov:[13] If the person passed away on Erev Yom Tov and the relatives fear that they will not be able to bury him before Yom Tov begins, then before Yom Tov they may hand him over to gentiles to bury him, and as soon as the gentiles exit the city and they lose site of the deceased, they are to begin sitting Shiva. If they sat Shiva for even some time before Yom Tov, then the Shiva is nullified with the arrival of Yom Tov even if the burial took place after Yom Tov arrived.

 Summary:

If a relative died and was buried before Yom Tov, and one thus began sitting Shiva before Yom Tov, and Yom Tov then arrived within the Shiva [i.e. Pesach, Shavuos, Sukkos, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur] then the Shiva becomes nullified by the Yom Tov, and after the Yom Tov one only needs to count the remainder of Shloshim.

 

Q&A

By a Chasan or Kallah who will only begin Shiva after the Sheva Brachos[14], if a Yom Tov arrived in middle of the Sheva Brachos, after the death and burial, is the Shiva nullified?[15]

In the event that the Shiva will begin only after the conclusion of Sheva Brachos, and a Yom Tov coincided with the days of Sheva Brachos [i.e. got married a few days before Pesach, Sukkos, Shavuos], then some Poskim[16] rule that the Shiva is nullified due to the Holiday, as is the regular law. Other Poskim[17], however, rule that since they did not actually begin Shiva yet, therefore the Shiva is not nullified by the festival, and the Shiva begins at the conclusion of their Sheva Brachos.

B. The status of Erev Yom Tov in the event that Yom Tov nullifies Shiva:[18]

Whenever Yom Tov arrives in the midst of Shiva [i.e. days 2-7], and hence Erev Yom Tov is still part of Shiva [i.e. days 1-6], the laws of Shiva continue to fully apply on Erev Yom Tov. Nonetheless the following exceptions are applicable:

Laundering and wearing Yom Tov clothing:[19] Whenever Yom Tov arrives in the midst of Shiva [i.e. days 2-7], and hence Erev Yom Tov is still part of Shiva [i.e. days 1-6], then it is permitted for the mourner to launder his clothing on Erev Yom Tov.[20] Nonetheless, he is not to wear the clothing until the nighttime [when Yom Tov begins]. Likewise, it is proper to delay the laundering until after midday.[21] [This applies even according to the Ashkenazi custom to prohibit wearing freshly laundered clothing throughout Shloshim[22], nevertheless, the custom is to allow laundering and wearing freshly laundered clothing on Erev Yom Tov in honor of the Holiday.[23] However, some Poskim[24] rule that the above follows the letter of the law which permits wearing freshly laundered clothing during Shloshim. However, according to the Ashkenazi custom to forbid wearing freshly laundered clothing throughout Shloshim, one may not wear it neither on Erev Yom Tov, or on Yom Tov. Even according to the former approach, one may not wear it after Yom Tov is over, until the Shloshim is complete.[25]]

Bathing:[26] Some Poskim rule that he may not bathe his body until the nighttime, when Yom Tov begins.[27] Other Poskim, however, rule that one may bathe his body after [Davening[28]] the Mincha prayer, close to nighttime.[29] [This is to be done at the very least within one to two hours prior to nighttime, and not beforehand.[30] However, it is best to do so as close as possible to nighttime.[31]] Practically, the custom is like the latter opinion.[32] [This applies even according to the Ashkenazi custom to prohibit bathing throughout Shloshim[33], nevertheless, the custom is to allow taking a bath on Erev Yom Tov in honor of the Holiday.[34] One may bathe his body even in hot water.[35] However, some Poskim[36] rule that the above follows the letter of the law which permits bathing during Shloshim. However, according to the Ashkenazi custom to forbid bathing throughout Shloshim, one may not bathe neither on Erev Yom Tov, or on Yom Tov. Practically, we rule like the former approach to permit bathing.[37] Even according to the former approach, one may not bathe after Yom Tov is over, until the Shloshim is complete.[38]]

Haircuts/cutting nails:[39] It is forbidden for the mourner who is within Shiva to get a haircut on Erev Yom Tov.[40] [Likewise, it is forbidden for an Avel within Shiva to cut his nails even on Erev Yom Tov.[41]]

Other Shiva customs:[42] All other customs of Shiva, such as sitting on a low stool, and not wearing leather shoes [and not learning Torah] fully apply until the start of Yom Tov.

If the seventh day of Shiva falls on Erev Yom Tov:[43] If the seventh day of Shiva falls on Erev Yom Tov, then the Holiday nullifies the Shloshim. See Halacha 2A!

The status of Erev Pesach:[44] On Erev Pesach the Shiva is nullified at midday, and hence one becomes permitted in all matters of Shiva [i.e. leather shoes; learning Torah; sitting on chair] as soon as midday arrives.[45] [However, one must wait until it is near sunset in order to bathe, as explained above.[46]  However, one may launder his clothing for Yom Tov anytime on Erev Yom Tov, as stated above.[47] Due to the Shloshim, one may not get a haircut, as stated above.]

The status if Erev Yom Tov is Shabbos: Some Poskim[48] rule that if Shabbos is Erev Yom Tov, then one may bathe[49] in hot water on Erev Shabbos [close to sunset]. Other Poskim[50], however, rule that it is forbidden to bathe in hot water on Erev Shabbos, and one may only do so with cold water. According to all, one may not get a haircut on Erev Shabbos, as stated above.[51]

C. The calculation of Shloshim in the event that Yom Tov nullified Shiva:[52]

In the event that a Yom Tov nullified Shiva, the Shloshim is calculated as follows: The days before Yom Tov count as seven full days, irrelevant of how many days he actually sat Shiva for. Likewise, the days of the Holiday also count towards the Shloshim.[53] Thus, one diminishes from the 30 days of Shloshim the seven days of the Shiva, plus the amount of days in the festival [i.e. 1, 2, or 7/8 days depending on Holiday and Eretz Yisrael versus Diaspora], and the remainder is the amount of days of Shloshim that he must keep after the Holiday’s conclusion. [See Halacha 3 for the exact calculation for each Holiday and that Shemini Atzeres counts as seven days.]

D. The status of Chol Hamoed in the event that Yom Tov nullified Shiva:

Halachic stringencies that apply on Chol Hamoed:[54] In the event that the Shiva was nullified by the Holiday, and one is thus counting the days of the Holiday as part of Shloshim, the days of Chol Hamoed receive the following Halachic stringencies due to the period of Shloshim: 1) They cannot wear freshly laundered/ironed, or new clothing, even though in general it is permitted to do so on Chol Hamoed.[55] [However, one may do so if it was worn by another person beforehand.[56]] 2) They cannot cut their nails with scissors, even though it is permitted to be done on Chol Hamoed [according to the Sephardim[57], and under certain circumstances, according to Ashkenazim[58]]. 3) They may not participate in parties, and public meals, even though it is permitted to be done on Chol Hamoed. 4) They cannot get a haircut or launder their clothing even if they have arrived from overseas or were released from prison, even though it is permitted to be done on Chol Hamoed.

Lighting candles:[59] One is to light a candle throughout the seven days corresponding to the “Shiva” on Chol Hamoed, and before Yom Tov, just as is done during the week.[60] However, one should not light candles near the deceased, or in his room, as is normally done, and rather the candles are to be lit in an area of the home that people do not frequent, or in a Shul.[61]

Changing seats in Shul:[62]  The mourner does not change seats in Shul until after Yom Tov.[63]

Nesias Kapayim:[64] The Kohen mourner does not perform Nesias Kapayim even on Yom Tov. See Chapter 24 Halacha 6C for the full details of this subject!

Bathing:[65] It is permitted for the mourner to bathe regularly during Chol Hamoed.

E. Matters of Iluiy Nishmas that continue for seven days:[66]

The Halacha that the Holiday nullifies the Shiva is only with regards to the mourning customs. However, all matters done during the Shiva for the elevation of the soul, are to continue to be done throughout the Shiva. This includes a) Lighting a candle throughout the Shiva, as stated in D; b) Davening in the home of the deceased; c) Building the Matzeiva after the Shiva.

2. The law that Yom Tov nullifies Shloshim:[67]

A. The general rule:[68]

If one buried the deceased at least seven days prior to the Holiday [i.e. Pesach, Shavuos, Sukkos, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur[69]], and thus already completed Shiva prior to the Holiday, then the Holiday nullifies the Shloshim. This applies even if the seventh day of Shiva falls on Erev Yom Tov.[70] [If, however, the seventh day of Shiva falls on Yom Tov, then Yom Tov only nullifies the Shiva and not the Shloshim.[71]]

Mourner for a parent:[72] The above law that the Holiday nullifies the Shloshim, and all remaining mourning laws, only applies if one is in mourning for a relative other than a parent. If, however, one is in mourning for a father or mother, then although the more stringent laws of Shloshim become nullified, all mourning laws which extend past Shloshim do not become nullified and hence remain forbidden even after Yom Tov. Thus, the mourner may not to get a haircut on Erev Yom Tov, or even after Yom Tov, until Shiur Gearah has been reached [see Chapter 23 Halacha 10].

B. The status of Erev Yom Tov when Yom Tov nullifies Shloshim:[73]

In a case that the Yom Tov nullifies the Shloshim, then on Erev Yom Tov, it becomes permitted to launder clothing for Yom Tov [anytime on Erev Yom Tov, although preferably after midday[74]]. [Nonetheless, some Poskim[75] rule that he is not to wear the laundered clothing, or Shabbos clothing, until the nighttime, when Yom Tov begins.] Likewise, near sunset[76] [within one to two hours beforehand[77]] one may bathe one’s body[78], and [cut his nails[79] and], get a haircut [if he is in mourning for relatives other than a parent[80]]. The above applies even if the seventh day of Shiva falls on Erev Yom Tov.[81] If, however, he is in mourning for a father or mother, then it remains forbidden for him to get a haircut on Erev Yom Tov, until Shiur Gearah has been reached [see chapter 23 Halacha 10].[82]

The status of Erev Pesach:[83] On Erev Pesach [the Shloshim is nullified at midday, and hence] one becomes permitted in all matters as soon as midday arrives.[84] Nevertheless, it is best to get a haircut prior to midday, being that it is forbidden for others to get a haircut after midday.[85] [Nonetheless, if one did not get a haircut prior to midday, he may do so after midday.[86]]

The status if Erev Yom Tov is Shabbos:[87] If Shabbos is Erev Yom Tov, then one may launder, bathe and get a haircut on Erev Shabbos [close to sunset[88]]. This, however, only applies if the last day of Shiva ended on or before Erev Shabbos, and hence Shabbos is the 8th day or onwards. If, however, the last day of Shiva is on Shabbos, then one may not get a haircut [and according to some Poskim[89] may not bathe in hot water] on Erev Shabbos [as explained in Halacha 1B!].

If one did not get a haircut before Yom Tov:[90] If one did not get a haircut on Erev Yom Tov or Erev Shabbos, in the above cases, then he may do so after Yom Tov, being that the Shloshim has already been nullified.  However, one may not get a haircut on Chol Hamoed, as he could have cut his hair before Yom Tov. However, in the case that the seventh day of Shiva fell on Shabbos, Erev Yom Tov, then since it was forbidden for him to get a haircut on Erev Shabbos, it is therefore permitted for him to get a haircut on Chol Hamoed.

3. The list of holidays which nullify Shiva/Shloshim, and the subsequent calculation of Shloshim:[91]

A. Rosh Hashanah:

Rosh Hashanah is considered like a holiday to nullify the Aveilus [of Shiva or Shloshim].[92] Thus, if one began Shiva before Rosh Hashanah for even a short amount of time, the Shiva is nullified by Rosh Hashanah, and after Rosh Hashanah he is to count Shloshim until Yom Kippur, which then nullifies the Shloshim.[93] He may get a haircut already on Erev Yom Kippur [unless he is a mourner for a parent in which case he must wait for Shiur Gearah[94]].[95] [If one ended the Shiva before Rosh Hashanah, then Rosh Hashanah nullifies the Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 2A.]

B. Yom Kippur:

Yom Kippur is considered like a holiday to nullify the Aveilus [of Shiva or Shloshim].[96] Thus, if one began Shiva before Yom Kippur for even a short amount of time, the Shiva is nullified by Yom Kippur, and after Yom Kippur he is to count Shloshim until Sukkos, which then nullifies the Shloshim. In such a case, he may get a haircut already of Erev Sukkos [unless he is a mourner for a parent in which case he must wait for Shiur Gearah[97]].[98] If one ended the Shiva before Yom Kippur, then Yom Kippur nullifies the Shloshim.[99] Furthermore, if the last day of Shiva falls on Erev Yom Kippur, one may already get a haircut on Erev Yom Kippur [unless he is a mourner for a parent in which case he must wait for Shiur Gearah[100]].[101]

C. Pesach:[102]

The holiday of Pesach nullifies Shiva [or Shloshim]. Thus, if one began Shiva before Pesach for even a short amount of time, the Shiva is nullified by Pesach [i.e. by midday of Erev Pesach[103]] and counts as seven days towards the Shloshim. [Even if the burial took place on Erev Pesach after midday, one sits Shiva prior to Yom Tov, and at the entrance of Yom Tov his Shiva is nullified.[104] Some Poskim[105], however, rule that after midday of Erev Pesach, one is to only follow the private mourning laws that are followed on Shabbos, and it suffices to annul the Shiva.] The 7/8 days of Pesach [i.e. seven in Eretz Yisrael and eight in Diaspora] also count towards the Shloshim and hence after Pesach he is to count 15/16 days of Shloshim. [If one ended the Shiva before Pesach, then Pesach nullifies the Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 2A.]

D. Shavuos:[106]

The holiday of Shavuos nullifies Shiva [or Shloshim]. Thus, if one began Shiva before Shavuos for even a short amount of time, the Shiva is nullified by Shavuos and counts as seven days towards the Shloshim. Now, the although the holiday of Shavuos is only one/two days [i.e. one day in Eretz Yisrael and two in Diaspora], nevertheless it counts as a full seven days.[107] Furthermore, in the Diaspora, the second day of Shavuos counts as a further day of Shloshim.[108] Thus, [in Eretz Yisrael] one counts after Shavuos 16 days of Shloshim and [in the Diaspora] one counts 15 days of Shloshim.[109] [If one ended the Shiva before Shavuos, then Shavuos nullifies the Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 2A.]

E. Sukkos:[110]

The holiday of Sukkos nullifies Shiva or Shloshim. Thus, if one began Shiva before Sukkos, the Shiva is nullified by Sukkos and counts as seven days towards the Shloshim. The 7 days also count towards the Shloshim. Furthermore, Shemini Atzeres counts as a full seven days [however does not nullify the Shloshim[111]].[112] Furthermore, in the Diaspora, the second day of Shemini Atzeres counts as a further day of Shloshim. Thus, [in Eretz Yisrael] one counts after Shemini Atzeres 9 days of Shloshim and [in the Diaspora] one counts 8 days of Shloshim. If one ended the Shiva before Sukkos, then Sukkos nullifies the Shloshim.

F. Other Holidays:

Purim:[113] The holiday of Purim does not annul the mourning of Shiva [or Shloshim].

Chanukah/Lag Baomer/Tu Beshvat/Tu Beav/Rosh Chodesh: These days do not annul the mourning of Shiva or Shloshim.

4. The law of a Chol Hamoed Death or Burial:[114]

* For the laws of death and burial applicable to the day of Yom Tov itself, See Volume 1 Chapter 2 Halacha 9 and Chapter 4 Halacha 3B!

A. The death:

All laws generally followed after the death of a person on a weekday [see Chapter 2] are likewise followed on Chol Hamoed.

Lighting candles:[115] One is to light a candle throughout the “Shiva” on Chol Hamoed, and before Yom Tov, just as is done during the week. However, one should not light candles near the deceased, or in his room, as is normally done and rather the candles are to be lit in an area of the home that people do not frequent, or in a Shul.[116]

Aninus:[117] If the person passed away on Chol Hamoed [or before Yom Tov, and was not yet brought to burial] then the laws of Aninus fully apply throughout Chol Hamoed, until after the burial, just as they apply during the week. [Thus, it is forbidden for him to drink wine and eat meat.[118]See Chapter 3 for the full detailed laws of Aninus!

Notifying the relatives of the death: There is no obligation to publicize the death of a person, even to the son or daughter of the deceased, as brought in Chapter 12 Halacha 2. Furthermore, some Poskim[119] rule that if the death occurred on Yom Tov/Chol Hamoed, it is forbidden to notify even the sons, as this will prevent them from fulfilling the Biblical command of Simchas Yom Tov.

Chalitzas Kateif: In previous times it was required for one who was a mourner for a parent to walk around with his arm and shoulder outside of its sleeve [i.e. Chalitzas Kateif] from the time of death until after the burial. This was likewise done by other people, as a sign of mourning.[120] This, however, may not be done on Chol Hamoed, with exception to the relatives of the deceased.[121] Practically, this matter is no longer accustomed today at all even during the weekdays, not even by the mourning relatives.[122]

Dealing with the corpse-Taharah:[123] All matters that are performed to the deceased during the weekday are likewise performed on Chol Hamoed. This includes cutting his hair, laundering his clothing. See Chapter 5!

Building a coffin:[124] One may build a coffin for the deceased on Chol Hamoed. The coffin, however, may only be built in the courtyard in which the deceased is found.[125] If, however, the deceased was a famous individual, or everyone in the city is aware of his death [i.e. small town], then it may be built even in the middle of the city. One may chop wood discreetly [if possible[126]] for the purpose of making the coffin. However, one may not chop down a tree for this purpose.

B. The burial:

Funeral/Burial: It is permitted, and thereby an obligation, to bury the deceased on Chol Hamoed just as is regularly done during the week.[127] Nonetheless, being that eulogies are forbidden on Chol Hamoed, the funeral procession is to take place speedily, and not have delays where the body remains stationary, in order not to encourage the eulogies.[128]

Building the grave: It is forbidden to hew stones on Chol Hamoed for the sake of building the grave.[129] However, one may dig a grave in the ground for the sake of burying the deceased. One may not, however, dig graves for the sake of future burials, so they are ready when needed. Nonetheless, one may renovate already dug graves, such as to widen or shorten them.[130]

Eulogies:[131] It is forbidden to give a eulogy on Chol Hamoed and hence one does not eulogize the Niftar. This, however, is with exception to giving a eulogy for a Torah scholar, prior to the burial. See Chapter 7 Halacha 4!

Keriah: The children of the deceased perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed and then remove the clothing after the burial and change into Yom Tov clothing. There is a difference in ruling and custom regarding if the other relatives are to perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed, or are to delay it until after the Moed. See Chapter 6 Halacha 1C for the full details of this matter!

Blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes: The blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes is to be said on Chol Hamoed by the funeral, by all mourning relatives. See Chapter 6 Halacha 2 in Q&A for the full details of this matter!

Blessing of Asher Yatzar Escham Badin:[132] Some are not accustomed to reciting this blessing if the burial is taking place during Chol Hamoed. See Chapter 8 Halacha 5E for the full details of this matter!

Removing shoes:[133] If a burial takes place on Chol Hamoed, the leather shoes are not removed after the burial, as is normally done.

Tziduk Hadin:[134] The prayer of Tziduk Hadin [and the special Kaddish recited after the burial[135]] is not recited on Chol Hamoed.  See Chapter 8 Halacha 6H for the full details of this matter!

The Graveside Condolence [i.e. Shura Nichum Aveilim]:[136] The custom is to stand in a line and comfort the mourners after concluding the burial, even on Chol Hamoed. See Chapter 8 Halacha 7B for the full details of this matter!

Escorting the mourner’s home:[137] On Chol Hamoed, the custom is not to escort the mourners to the Shiva home, after the burial. See Chapter 8 Halacha 7F for the full details of this matter!

Throwing grass:[138] On Chol Hamoed, we do not uproot earth and grass from the ground and toss it behind our back, as is normally done upon leaving the cemetery after the burial. See Chapter 8 Halacha 8D for the full details of this matter!

Seudas Havraah: If the deceased was buried on Chol Hamoed, the mourners are to be served a Seudas Havraah after the body is buried. They are served regular foods, such as coffee and cake. The meal is eaten on regular chairs. See Chapter 14 Halacha 2B for the full details of this matter!

C. The start of Shiva/Shloshim and laws relevant to Chol Hamoed:

See the next Halacha!

 

5. Shiva, Shloshim & Holiday laws in a case that the Holiday did not nullify the Shiva:[139]

The following Halacha applies in all cases in which Yom Tov did not break the Shiva, which includes the following cases:

  1. One discovered the death/burial before Yom Tov but for whatever reason did not yet begin Shiva, as explained in Halacha 1A.
  2. The news of the death/burial only arrived on Yom Tov, and it has the status of a Shemua Kerova.
  3. The burial occurred after the Holiday began, whether it occurred on Yom Tov or during Chol Hamoed.

A. The start of Shiva:[140]

If the Holiday did not nullify the Shiva, as explained above in 1A, or if the burial occurred during the Holiday [whether on Yom Tov or during Chol Hamoed[141]], then one does not practice Shiva during the Holiday, and rather the seven days of Shiva is begun only after Yom Tov [i.e. Motzei Simchas Torah/Motzei Acharon Shel Pesach/Motzei Shavuos/Motzei Rosh Hashanah].[142] However, in the Diaspora where they keep two days of Yom Tov, the Shiva is counted starting from the last day of Yom Tov, and hence they only count six days of Shiva after Yom Tov concludes.[143] [This applies even if the 2nd day of Yom Tov falls on Shabbos.[144] This applies even if the burial occurred on the first day of Yom Tov, through a gentile.[145]] Nonetheless, they do not actually sit Shiva on the last day of Yom Tov, and it is treated like a Yom Tov for all matters.[146] [This applies even on Rosh Hashanah, that if the burial took place on Rosh Hashanah, whether on the first day or second day, [or it took place on Erev Rosh Hashanah without enough time to begin Shiva], then the Shiva is counted starting from the second day of Rosh Hashanah and hence they only count six days of Shiva after Rosh Hashanah concludes.[147] Nonetheless, they do not actually practice Shiva on the second day of Rosh Hashanah, as stated above.]

Buried on last day of Yom Tov:[148] [If the deceased was buried by a gentile on the first day/days of Yom Tov[149], or on Chol Hamoed, then the Shiva does not begin until Yom Tov is over, as stated above.]. However, if the person died on the second day of Yom Tov in the Diaspora, which is the last day of Yom Tov[150] [i.e. 2nd day of Shavuos, Acharon Shel Pesach, Simchas Torah] and the burial took place on that day, then [from the letter of the law] the relatives who are Biblically required to mourn[151] are to already begin Shiva on that day.[152] This is with exception to Rosh Hashanah, regarding which we rule that all relatives begin the Shiva after the Yom Tov concludes.[153] Even when the Shiva begins on Yom Tov, the Keriah is only done after Yom Tov.[154] Other Poskim, however, argue and rule that we never practice mourning on Yom Tov, including the second day of Yom Tov in the Diaspora.[155] Practically, the custom of the world is to never begin sitting Shiva on Yom Tov, even if it is the second day of Yom Tov in the Diaspora, and one of the Biblical relatives died and was buried on that same day.[156] One may not swerve from this custom.[157] Nonetheless, one does begin counting Shiva from that day, and hence one only practices Shiva for another six days after the Holiday.[158]

B. The calculation of Shloshim:[159]

The days of the Holiday count towards the Shloshim even if one will only be starting the Shiva after Yom Tov. Thus, if the burial took place during Chol Hamoed, one begins to count the Shloshim from the day of the burial and onwards.[160] However, the Holiday does not break the Shloshim. This applies even if the burial took place during the Sukkos festival, nevertheless, Shemini Atzeres does not break the Shloshim.[161] [Furthermore, Shemini Atzeres only counts as one day of Shloshim and not as seven days.[162]]

Calculating the Shloshim by a Chasan or Kallah who is still within Sheva Brachos:[163] If the passing of a relative of a Chasan or Kallah who are within Sheva Brachos, occurred during Yom Tov/Chol Hamoed, then the Chasan/Kallah begin the count of Shloshim only after they complete Sheva Brachos, and not from the day of burial.

C. Mourning laws & customs applicable to Chol Hamoed and Yom Tov:

*The following laws apply in all cases that the burial has already taken place, and one is past the state of Onen, but prior to beginning the Shiva, as explained in the introduction to this Halacha! If, however, the burial has yet to take place, then the stricter laws of Onen apply until the burial. See Chapter 3 for the full detailed laws of Aninus!

Devarim Shebitzina-Practicing the discreet mourning laws during Chol Hamoed:[164] In all cases that the Shiva was not nullified by the Holiday, as explained above, then throughout Yom Tov/Chol Hamoed the mourners are to keep the discreet laws of mourning that are followed on Shabbos during Shiva.[165] Likewise, if the burial took place on Yom Tov/Chol Hamoed, then starting from after the burial, and throughout the remainder of Yom Tov/Chol Hamoed, the mourners are to keep the discreet laws of mourning that are followed on Shabbos during Shiva.[166] All laws that are not kept on Shabbos due to it being public mourning, are likewise not to be kept on Chol Hamoed.[167] See Chapter 20 for the full details of these laws. Nonetheless, it is permitted for a married couple to be in Yichud with each other during this time, and a Shomer is not required.[168]

Simcha:[169] The mourner is prohibited in joy throughout all the days of the festival even if he will not begin the Shiva until after the holiday.

Seudas Havraah: If the deceased was buried on Chol Hamoed, the mourners are to be served a Seudas Havraah after the body is buried. They are served regular foods, such as coffee and cake. The meal is eaten on regular chairs. See Chapter 14 Halacha 2B for the full details of this matter!

Comforting the deceased:[170] It is permitted and even customary for many people to comfort the deceased during the Holiday. Therefore, not many people come to comfort him afterwards, during the Shiva, for the amount of days that he was already comforted during the Holiday.[171] Nonetheless, they do visit him also during those days.[172] Thus, if the burial occurred with three days left to the Holiday, then there is less comforting on the last three days of the Shiva.[173] [Practically, however, today the custom is to receive the normal level of Nichum Aveilim throughout the entire Shiva which takes place after the holiday, and we no longer receive Nichum Aveilim not during the Holiday.[174] Some however negate this custom and rule that initially the Nichum Aveilim should be done within seven days from the burial, as stated above.[175]]

Halachic stringencies that apply on Chol Hamoed:[176] The days of Chol Hamoed that count towards the Shloshim [i.e. from after the burial and onwards] receive the following Halachic stringencies due to the period of Shloshim: 1) They cannot wear freshly laundered, or new clothing, even though in general it is permitted to do so on Chol Hamoed. 2) They cannot cut their nails with scissors, even though it is permitted to be done on Chol Hamoed [according to the Sephardim[177], and under certain circumstances, according to Ashkenazim[178]]. 3) They may not participate in parties, and public meals, even though it is permitted to be done on Chol Hamoed. 4) They cannot get a haircut or launder their clothing even if they have arrived from overseas or were released from prison, even though it is permitted to be done on Chol Hamoed.

Doing Melacha during Chol Hamoed:[179] All Melacha that is normally [forbidden during Shiva but] permitted to be done on Chol Hamoed, may only be performed by the mourner if it involves a great loss. If it does not involve a great loss, then he may not perform the Melacha. Nevertheless, he may have other people do the Melacha on his behalf, in their homes. However, his maids may do the work in private even in his own home.

Shabbos clothing:[180] The mourner is to continue to wear Shabbos clothing throughout Yom Tov and Chol Hamoed, even if he is accustomed to wear weekday clothing on Shabbos Shiva.[181] [However, new Shabbos clothing should not be worn.[182]]

Changing seats in Shul:[183]  The mourner does not change seats in Shul until after Yom Tov.[184]

Leaving the home:[185] One may leave his house during Yom Tov and Chol Hamoed to go to Shul or to the Beis Midrash. [He, however, may not leave the house simply for purposes of leisure and pleasure.[186]]

Nesias Kapayim:[187] The mourner does not perform Nesias Kapayim even on Yom Tov. This applies even after the burial; although he will not begin Aveilus until after Yom Tov, he is not to perform Nesias Kapayim on Yom Tov.[188] See Chapter 24 Halacha 6C for the full details of this subject!

Learning Torah during Yom Tov or Chol Hamoed: Some Poskim[189] rule a mourner may not learn Torah on Yom Tov even if he does not have the status of an Onen, just as is the ruling by Shabbos. Other Poskim[190] however rule it is permitted for the mourners to learn Torah on Yom Tov, when they do not have the status of an Onen.[191] According to the former opinion, he may not even read the Shnayim Mikra of the Yom Tov reading.[192] [He may however read the Shnayim Mikra of Vezos Habracha, on Erev Simchas Torah.[193]]

Aliyah during Yom Tov/Chol Hamoed:[194] One may not be called to the Torah on Yom Tov, just like on Shabbos. See Chapter 20 Halacha 11 for the full details of this subject!

May an Avel prior to Shiva receive an Aliyah during Simchas Torah?[195] Yes.[196] However, some write he is not to be called up as one of the 5 required Aliyos.[197]

Wearing Tefillin on first day of Chol Hamoed:[198] Those who wear Tefillin on Chol Hamoed are to do so even on the first day [i.e. the day of burial] being that the Aveilus has not yet begun.

Hallel:[199] An Avel recites Hallel on Chol Hamoed, prior to the start of Aveilus on Motzei Chag.

Psalm 16/49:[200] On Chol Hamoed, Psalm 49 or 16 is not recited after the prayers.

Bathing on Chol Hamoed, Erev Yom Tov Acharon:[201] It is permitted to bathe in hot water on Chol Hamoed Erev Yom Tov Acharon, for the sake of Yom Tov.

Doing Melacha during the Shiva if buried before Yom Tov and did not nullify Shiva:[202] If one did not start the Shiva before Sukkos or Pesach, such as [if the death and burial occurred before Yom Tov and he did not have time to sit Shiva or] one only received knowledge of the death on Chol Hamoed, then throughout the Shiva that is kept after Yom Tov, the mourner may have other people perform Melacha on his behalf [in their own homes[203]]. This allowance applies even to his servants [and family] who may do work for him discreetly within his house.[204] [However, when starting Shiva after the other Holidays, such as Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Shavuos, then one is prohibited in having Melacha done even by others, as is always the law.]

Doing Melacha during the Shiva if buried on Chol Hamoed:[205] If the burial took place on Chol Hamoed, and the Shiva will thus only begin after Chol Hamoed, then once seven days have passed from the day of burial[206], the mourner may have other people perform Melacha on his behalf in their homes throughout the remaining days of Shiva. Likewise, his servants [and family] may discreetly do work for him even within his house.[207] Thus, if the burial occurred with three days left to the Holiday, then on the last three days of the Shiva he may have work done by others on his behalf. [Thus, his business partner may run the business on his behalf on those days.[208]]

Tefillin:[209] If the deceased was buried during Chol Hamoed, the Tefillin are to be worn on Isru Chag with a blessing[210], even though it is the first day of mourning.

6. Rosh Hashanah: Mourning laws applicable to Rosh Hashanah:[211]

A. Onen:

See Chapter 3 Halacha 23A regarding when Aninus applies on Yom Tov, and the same applies for Rosh Hashanah.

B. Breaking Shiva/Shloshim:

Rosh Hashanah is considered like a holiday to nullify the Aveilus of Shiva or Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 3A.

The status of Erev Rosh Hashanah within Shiva: See Halacha 1B!

The status of Erev Rosh Hashanah within Shloshim: See Halacha 2B!

C. Is an Avel within Shiva to go to Shul for Selichos?[212]

An Avel that is within Shiva may not leave his home to recite Selichos with the Minyan.[213] The Avel is either to recite Selichos privately at home, or arrange for a Minyan to come to his home.[214] [However, some Poskim[215] rule that if a Minyan is not available in the home of the Avel then he may go to Shul for Selichos and Shacharis.]

Erev Rosh Hashanah and Erev Yom Kippur: The above however is with exception to Erev Rosh Hashanah [and Erev Yom Kippur[216]], in which case [in those areas that increase in Selichos[217] and hence] the Selichos are lengthy, the Avel may go to Shul.[218] [In such a case he may remain in Shul to Daven Shacharis with the congregation.[219]]  Nevertheless, even on these days it is best to arrange for a Minyan in the house of the Avel rather than have the Avel go to Shul.[220]

 Q&A

Is Selichos recited in the house of an Avel?[221]

At the house of an Avel, Selichos is recited without the confession prayer [of Ashamnu] and without Nefilas Apayim.[222] However, some Poskim[223] rule that one is to recite the confession prayer within the Selichos recited prior to Davening. Some[224] suggest that the Minyan is to recite Selichos in a nearby home in which the person did not pass away, and they are then to recite the confession prayer within Selichos.

Does the Avel recite Selichos?[225] Yes. An Avel recites Selichos although he does not recite the confession prayer or Nefilas Apayim.[226]

Is the Avel to lead the Selichos prayer?

See next Halacha in Q&A!

D. May an Avel be Chazan?

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur: It is forbidden for an Avel[227] to Daven for the Amud on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur.[228] This applies even for Pesukei Dezimra.[229] This applies even if he is the set Chazan of the Shul.[230] Some Poskim[231] however rule that if he is the set Chazan then if he is past Shiva but within thirty days of Aveilus for other relatives, then he may be Chazan on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur.[232] Some[233] rule that this allowance applies even if the set Chazan is within his year of Aveilus for one of his parents. Practically, the Chabad custom is like this latter opinion that if he is the set Chazan from years prior, then he is to continue to Daven for the Amud on the high holidays even if he is within his year of Aveilus.[234]

Days of Selichos-Aseres Yimei Teshuvah: An Avel may be Chazan during the days of Selichos, including Erev Rosh Hashanah and Erev Yom Kippur.[235] Nevertheless, some are accustomed that an Avel[236] does not lead the prayers at all during the Aseres Yimei Teshuvah, neither for Selichos or for any of the prayers of the day.[237] Furthermore some places are accustomed that the Avel does not lead the prayers starting from the first day of Selichos before Rosh Hashanah and they only go up for Ashrei and Uva Letziyon.[238] Some Poskim[239] however negate the validity of this practice and rule an Avel is to continue being Chazan during these days. [The Chabad custom is that the Avel leads the prayers on all of these days, including Erev Rosh Hashanah and Erev Yom Kippur.[240]]

During Shiva: Some Poskim[241] write that an Avel who is within Shiva is not to lead the prayers of Selichos, or any of the prayers of the day during the days that Selichos is recited. [The Chabad custom is that the Avel leads the prayers on all of these days, as stated above.]

 May an Avel be the Baal Korei on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur?[242]

It is permitted for an Avel to be a Baal Korei on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur even if he is within his seven days of Aveilus.[243]

 

E. May an Avel be the Baal Tokeia?

This receives the same law as an Avel being Chazan on Rosh Hashanah, as stated above.[244] Practically if he is not the set Baal Tokeia from previous years, then he is not to be the Baal Tokeia at the current year, unless there is no one else available, or of his stature.[245] If, however, he is the set Baal Tokeia from previous years, then the Chabad custom is to allow him to be the Baal Tokeia even within his year of Aveilus[246], and so rule other Poskim.[247]

Is the Avel to recite the blessing of Shehechiyanu if he is the Baal Tokeia?[248] Yes.

 May an Avel within his year of mourning be the Makri?

Some Poskim[249] leave this matter in question. [Seemingly, according to Chabad custom it is permitted without question.[250] This especially applies if he is the set Baal Makri.]

7. Yom Kippur: Mourning laws applicable to Yom Kippur:[251]

A. Onen:

There is no status of Aninus on Yom Kippur, just as is the law on Shabbos.

B. Seudas Havraah:[252]

If the burial took place on Erev Yom Kippur, the Seudas Havraah is to be served until three hours before sunset, and the mourners may not eat until that time. [See Chapter 14 Halacha 2B for the full details of this law!] If it was not served by that time, then the mourners may eat from their own foods.[253]

C. Breaking Shiva/Shloshim:

Yom Kippur is considered like a holiday to nullify the Aveilus of Shiva or Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 3B.

The status of Erev Yom Kippur within Shiva: See Halacha 1B!

The status of Erev Yom Kippur within Shloshim: See Halacha 2B!

D. Leaving the home within Shiva:

For Selichos: See Halacha 6C!

For Kaparos:[254] An Avel within Shiva may not leave his home to perform Kaparos on chickens. Rather he is to have the chicken brought to him or perform Kaparos on money.

For Mincha:[255] An Avel within Shiva may go to Shul for Mincha of Erev Yom Kippur. [The Viduiy may likewise be recited by the Avel.[256]]

E. Bathing and Mikveh:[257]

It is permitted for a mourner within Shiva to bathe in hot water and immerse in a Mikveh on Erev Yom Kippur. [This applies for both men and women.[258]] He is to do so as close as possible to the start of Yom Kippur.[259] [This is to be done at the very least within one to two hours prior to nighttime, and not beforehand.[260] However, it is best to do so as close as possible to nighttime.[261]]

Davening Mincha beforehand: Some Poskim[262] rule that it is permitted to immerse even prior to Davening Mincha. However, other Poskim[263] rule that it is to be done after the Davening of Mincha, and so was the Rebbe’s leaning opinion and practical custom.[264]

F. Birchas Habanim:[265]

Some write that an Avel within Shiva is not to perform Birchas Habanim on his children until after nightfall.

G. Wearing a Kittel:[266]

It is permitted for a mourner to wear a Kittel on Yom Kippur [even if Yom Kippur did not break the Shiva[267]].

H. May an Avel be Chazan/Baal Korei?

See Halacha 6D!

8. Sukkos: Mourning laws applicable to Sukkos

A. Onen:

See Chapter 3 Halacha 23A regarding when Aninus applies on Yom Tov, and the same applies for the first and last days of Yom Tov of Sukkos. However, on Chol Hamoed, the full laws of Aninus apply, as explained there.

Daled Minim: An Onen does not fulfill the Mitzvah of Daled Minim during Chol Hamoed, although he is to fulfill the Mitzvah on Yom Tov of Sukkos. If there is no one else available to do so on his behalf, the Onen may purchase a set of Daled Minim before Sukkos.

Sukkah: On Erev Sukkos, an Onen may build the Sukkah if there is no one else available to do so for him.[268] An Onen is obligated to dwell in the Sukkah during Yom Tov and is to recite a blessing. However, on Chol Hamoed, some Poskim[269] rule the Onen is not obligated to dwell in the Sukkah. Other Poskim[270] however rule he is obligated to dwell in the Sukkah. Practically, he is to eat in the Sukkah without a blessing.[271]

Hoshanos: An Onen does not go around the Bima for Hoshanos, just as is the law regarding an Avel. See E!

Hoshana Raba:[272] An Onen may not recite Tikkun Leil Hoshana Raba.

Simchas Torah:[273] The Onen is not to participate in Hakafos on Simchas Torah, unless he is escorted, just as is the law regarding a mourner within the first year. See H! An Onen may receive an Aliya on Simcha Torah.[274]

B. Breaking Shiva/Shloshim:

Sukkos is considered like a holiday to nullify the Aveilus of Shiva or Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 3E.

The status of Erev Sukkos within Shiva: See Halacha 1B!

The status of Erev Sukkos within Shloshim: See Halacha 2B!

C. The Sukkah:

Dwelling in the Sukkah:[275] A mourner [after burial] is obligated to remove his sadness and dwell in the Sukkah during Sukkos. However, if he is unable to remove the sadness and he needs privacy and seclusion at home in order to handle the mourning, then he is exempt from the Mitzvah.

Building the Sukkah during Shiva:[276] A mourner may build the Sukkah himself if there is no one available to do so for him.

D. Daled Minim during Shiva:

Buying Daled Minim:[277] A mourner during Shiva may go out to buy Daled Minim if there is no one available to do so for him.

Selling Daled Minim:[278] If a Daled Minim seller became an Avel before Sukkos, he may nevertheless continue selling his merchandise if there is no one who can take him over and a loss of sale would be a great loss.

E. Hakafos of Hoshanos:[279]

A mourner does not encircle the Bima by Hoshanos.[280] This applies both to an Onen, or one who is within the 12-month period after the passing of his father or mother.[281] [It likewise applies to a mourner within thirty days of the passing of one of the other seven other relatives.[282] However, some Poskim[283] are lenient to allow a mourner for other relatives to perform the Hakafah. It is proper for the mourner to hand his Lulav set to another person to do Hoshanos in his stead.[284]]

 

F. May an Avel participate in Simchas Beis Hashoeiva?

Some Poskim[285] rule he may only join as a spectator and may not join the dancing. Others[286] rule he may even join the dancing however on condition that musical instruments are not being played. Others[287] rule he may even join if there is live music playing.

G. Hoshana Raba:[288]

A mourner who is between the burial and start of Shiva may read the Tikkun Leil Hoshana Raba, if he does so every year.

H. Simchas Torah/Hakafos:

May an Avel dance during Hakafos?[289] Some Poskim[290] rule it is forbidden for an Avel [within Shloshim, or within the first 12 months of mourning for a parent] to participate in the Hakafos on Simchas Torah. Other Poskim[291] rule it is permitted for him to participate, Practically, the Chabad custom is that a mourner is not to participate in the Hakafos alone, but rather with an escort.[292] [He is to take hold of the Sefer Torah and have another person hold his arm while encircling the Bima.[293] Alternatively, another person takes hold of the Sefer Torah, and the Avel holds onto the Eitz Chaim while encircling.[294]] According to all, he may watch the Hakafos from the side. If he was offered to join the Hakafos, some[295] write that he may not refuse, due to the prohibition of showing public Aveilus.

Hakafos Sheniyos: A mourner may not participate in Hakafos Sheniyos in the event that music is playing. If no music is playing, he may participate with an escort, as stated above.

Aliyah: An Avel prior to Shiva may receive an Aliyah during Simchas Torah.[296] However, some write he is not to be called up as one of the 5 required Aliyos.[297] Certainly, he is not to be called up for Chasan Torah, Chasan Bereishis, or Maftir.[298]

9. Chanukah: Mourning laws applicable to Chanukah

A. Onen:

The laws of Aninus apply on Chanukah just as they apply the rest of the year.

Lighting Chanukah candles:[299] An Onen is exempt from lighting Chanukah candles.[300] Some Poskim[301], however, rule that his wife [or other household member[302]] is to light the candles in his stead. It is however forbidden for him to answer Amen to her blessing.[303] Some Poskim[304], however, rule that he is to answer Amen to her blessing. If no one is available to light in his stead, he is to light the candles himself without a blessing.[305] [If the burial took place at night, then if it took place past a half hour after nightfall, some Poskim[306] rule he may no longer light that night with a blessing.[307]]

B. Burial:

Hesped: [308] One may not recite a eulogy during Chanukah unless the person is a Torah Sage, and his body is present [i.e. prior to burial[309]] at the time of the Hesped. [Some Poskim[310] rule it is forbidden to eulogize on Erev Chanukah, starting from midday. Other Poskim[311] however rule it is permitted to eulogize and say Tziduk Hadin on Erev Chanukah, even past midday.]

Tziduk Hadin:[312] One does not recite Tziduk Hadin on Chanukah. [It may be recited on the days preceding Chanukah, or directly after Chanukah.[313]]

Seudas Havraah:[314] The Seudas Havraah which customarily takes place following the burial is likewise to be eaten during Chanukah, after the burial. Nevertheless, some Poskim[315] rule that one is not to serve the customary mourning foods of eggs and lentils on Chanukah, and rather one is to serve meat/wine.]

C. Breaking Shiva/Shloshim:

Chanukah is not considered like a holiday to nullify the Aveilus of Shiva or Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 3F.

 

D. Shiva:[316]

The laws of Shiva apply on Chanukah just as the rest of the year. [Thus, he may not wear Shabbos clothing even if he is normally accustomed to do so for the Menorah lighting.[317]]

Candle lighting: An Avel during Shiva is to light his Chanukah candles in the Shiva home [the home that he will be staying and sleeping in throughout Shiva]. His family which has remained home is to light their own candles, as explained in our Sefer “The Laws of Chanukah” chapter 3 Halacha 3.

May an Avel light the Shul’s Menorah?[318] He may light the Menorah from the second night and onwards. However, on the first night of Chanukah, an Avel is not to light the Menorah, as he may not recite a public blessing of Shehechiyanu. [This applies even to a mourner who is past Shiva but is within Shloshim or within 12 months for the passing of a parent.]

10. Purim: Mourning laws applicable to Purim:[319]

A. Onen on Purim:[320] 

Eating meat and drinking wine:[321] There are opinions[322] who rule an Onen is permitted to eat meat and drink wine on Purim.[323] [This is the final ruling.[324]] This only applies during Purim day, however on the night of Purim, and the night after Purim, it is forbidden for an Onen to eat meat or drink wine.[325] Likewise, on the 15th by day it is forbidden for an Onen to eat meat or drink wine unless he is celebrating in Jerusalem on the 15th.[326]

Hearing Megillah and prayer at night:[327] Certainly the Onen is obligated to hear the Megillah and pray on the night of Purim.[328] [However, some Poskim[329] question whether the Onen is required to Daven or hear Megillah on the night of Purim and therefore one is to hear the Megillah reading from another rather than read it himself. However, one is to Daven at night.[330]] Regarding when the Megillah is to be read on the day of Purim, prior or post the burial-see next!

When is the burial to take place on the day of Purim-before or after the Megillah reading? On the night of Purim, one is to read the Megillah prior to the burial.[331] However, by Purim day, some Poskim[332] rule the burial precedes the reading of the Megillah. Therefore, one is to first proceed with the burial, and Daven and read the Megillah afterwards. However, many Poskim[333] argue that one is to first read the Megillah and then bury the body. Practically, the custom is like this latter opinion to only bury the body after leaving Shul, and the Onen also attends the Megillah reading.[334] Nevertheless, the Onen is to re-read the Megillah after the burial [without a blessing[335]].[336]

Prayer and other Mitzvos on the day of Purim:[337] The Onen is exempt from Shema and prayer until after the burial that day. [If, however, the time of Shema or prayer will pass by the time the burial takes place then he is to pray and say Shema beforehand, if there are others who are taking care of the burial.[338]]

Tefillin on Purim after burial: Some Poskim[339] rule the Onen is exempt from wearing Tefillin on Purim even after the burial takes place, as is always the rule on the first day of Shiva. Others[340] however rule he is to put on Tefillin after the burial. [Practically, the Chabad custom throughout the year is that the mourner puts on Tefillin after the burial without a blessing.[341]]

Summary:

On the night of Purim, an Onen is to Daven and hear Megillah. He may not eat meat and drink wine. On the day of Purim, he is to hear Megillah and may eat meat and drink wine. He may Daven and say Shema prior to the burial if there will not be time to do so afterwards. He is to put on Tefillin without a blessing after the burial.

Q&A

May one break the news of the death of a relative on Purim?[342]

One is not to tell someone of the death of a relative on Purim if he will have to sit Shiva for him. Rather one is to delay the message until after Purim. This applies even to the son of the deceased. [Regarding if this applies even prior to the burial, see footnote.[343]]

 

Q&A on Onen

If the burial will not take place until after Purim are the relatives to hear Megillah and Daven on Purim?[344]

They are obligated to hear Megillah. If the burial is being taken care of by others, then they are obligated to also Daven.[345] [As soon as the Chevra Kadisha takes charge of the corpse it is considered to be taken care of by others.] However, one is not to put on Tefillin that day.[346]

May an Onen recite blessings when eating the Purim meal?[347]

Yes.

What are the laws of Onen on Purim Meshulash?[348]

On Friday he is considered a full Onen [and hence is exempt from Megillah reading, Davening and may not drink meat or drink wine].[349] On Sunday, during the day, some Poskim[350] rule he likewise maintains a full Onen status and may not eat meat and drink wine even during the day.

B. Levaya/Funeral/Burial on Purim:[351]

Keriah: When a funeral takes place on Purim the relatives are to do Keriah, and to change their clothing immediately after the burial.

Seudas Havraah:[352] The mourners are to be given the accustomed Seudas Havraah, although it is not to contain eggs or lentils but rather meat and wine.

C. Breaking Shiva/Shloshim:

Purim is not considered like a holiday to nullify the Aveilus of Shiva or Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 3F. Nonetheless, regarding the status of Shiva on the day of Purim itself, this matter is debated amongst the Poskim, as explained next.

D. Laws of Shiva on Purim:[353]

Some Poskim[354] rule that Aveilus of Shiva applies on Chanukah and Purim just like a regular weekday. Other Poskim[355], however, rule that all the public mourning customs do not apply on both days of Purim, the 14th and 15th [see footnote[356]]. However, the mourning customs practiced in private are accustomed even on Purim.[357] Practically, the custom is like this latter opinion to avoid public mourning on both the 14th and 15th.[358] [This applies even according to Sephardim.[359]] The above law applies even on the first day of mourning.[360] [The above law applies even on the night of the 14th and 15th.[361]] One is certainly to discontinue his avoidance of wearing leather shoes and is to discontinue sitting on the ground on these days. Nevertheless, one is to diminish in his amount of rejoicing.[362] [For all practical purposes, the customs on the 14th and 15th are similar to those accustomed on Shabbos.[363] See Chapter 20 for the full details of this matter!]

Do the 14th and 15th count for Shiva? Although the public customs of Shiva are not followed on the 14th and 15th nevertheless both days count as part of the seven days of mourning, just as is the law regarding Shabbos.[364] This applies even if the person passed away [and was buried] on Purim.[365]

Purim Katan:[366] The laws of Shiva are fully applicable on Purim Katan, the 14th and 15th of Adar Rishon, just as the regular weekday.

 

 Q&A related to Shiva

Is a mourner within Shiva to keep the laws of Shiva on Sunday of Purim Meshulash?[367]

This matter is disputed amongst Rabbanei Yerushalayim.[368]

 

Is a mourner within Shiva allowed to fulfill the Mitzvah of Drinking “Ad Delo Yada”?

This matter requires further analysis.[369]

May a mourner within Shiva leave his grocery store open on Purim?[370]

A mourner within Shiva who is accustomed to leave his store open on Purim each year, such as to sell food for Purim, may likewise open his store on Purim.[371] However, he himself may not leave his house to go to the store and is rather to send another person in his place.

May one be Menachem Avel on Purim?[372]

Yes.

 

E. Going to Shul on Purim during Shiva?

An Avel is to go to Shul to hear the Megillah reading on Purim day and night.[373]

Does the above apply if he has a Minyan available at home? The above only applies if he does not have a Minyan available at home for the Megillah reading. If however there is a Minyan available, then he is not to leave his house to go to Shul.[374] It is thus best for him to try to gather a Minyan at home.[375] However, some[376] rule that this only applies by the night reading, however by the day reading one may go to Shul to hear Megillah even if there is a Minyan available at home. [This ruling applies even for women who are within Shiva.[377]]

May the Avel go to Shul also for the Davening or only for the Megillah reading? At night, if one does not have a Minyan at home, he may only leave his house for the Megillah reading, however regarding Maariv, he is to Daven Maariv at home without a Minyan.[378] However, for Shacharis, he may go to Shul for the entire Davening [if a Minyan is not available at home].[379]

Purim that falls on Motzei Shabbos:[380] When Purim falls on Motzei Shabbos, the mourner is to go to Shul for Mincha and remain in Shul for Maariv and the reading of the Megillah. [If, however, the mourner needs to go home for Shalosh Seudos then he may not return to Shul for Maariv and Megillah reading unless a Minyan will not be available at his home for the Megillah reading in which case he is to go to Shul before the conclusion of Shabbos, prior to Barchu, and remain in Shul until after the Megillah reading.[381]]

 Q&A

May Birchas Kohanim be recited in the Shiva home on Purim?[382]

In areas that Birchas Kohanim is done daily, Birchas Kohanim may be done in the Shiva home if the morning prayers are taking place there.

 

Q&A on leaving the home

May a mourner within Shiva leave his house on Purim?[383]

A mourner within Shiva may not leave his house on Purim with exception to hearing Megillah, as explained above.

 

May a mourner within Shiva who celebrated on the 14th leave his house on Shushan Purim to go to Shul?[384]

He is not to leave his house on the 15th even in order to go to Shul and the like.

F. Sending Mishloach Manos to and from an Avel[385]:[386]

Is a mourner obligated to send Mishloach Manos: There are opinions[387] who rule a mourner is obligated to send Mishloach Manos.[388] Practically, this is the final ruling.[389] This applies even if the mourner is within the days of Shiva.[390] Nevertheless, a mourner is not to send foods of festivities, such as sweets and superfluous delicacies. Rather, he is to send meat [and simple foods of the like].[391]

Sending Mishloach Manos to a mourner:[392] One may not send gifts or Mishloach Manos to a mourner.[393] This applies within the first twelve months of mourning [if he is mourning for his parents[394]].[395] [For other close relative this applies within the first thirty days.[396]] If the only available Jew to send Mishloach Manos to is in mourning, one may do so. If the mourner is sent a gift and he refuses to accept it, the giver has nevertheless fulfilled his obligation.[397]

 Q&A on Mishloach Manos

If a mourner was sent Mishloach Manos may he accept it?[398]

Yes. In such a case the giver has fulfilled the Mitzvah of Mishloach Manos.

If the mourner is a pauper, may he be sent gifts?

One may send the mourner money, as it is no different than charity.[399] This applies even within his seven days of mourning.[400] He may even be sent food, so long as it is not superfluous delicacies.[401]

May one send Mishloach Manos to a mourner’s wife?[402]

Friends of the mourner’s wife may send her Mishloach Manos. However, friends of the husband are not to send her Mishloach Manos, as they certainly intend to give it to the husband.

May one send Mishloach Manos to a mourner’s husband?[403]

This follows the same ruling as above.

May one send Mishloach Manos to a Rav that is within his year of Aveilus?[404]

No. However, if one is accustomed to send money to the Rav each year by Purim then it is permitted to do so in the current year as well.

May one send Mishloach Manos to his parents if they are within Aveilus?

Some[405] rule that if the child does so every year as a token of appreciation to his parents then he may be lenient to do so also on the current Purim.

If one’s parent passed away on Purim may they receive Mishloach Manos on the first Yahrzeit?[406]

Yes.

 Summary:

A mourner within Shiva is to follow the mourning customs applicable on Shabbos [with exception to leaving the home, which is limited only to going to Shul, as explained next]. An Avel is to go to Shul on both the night and day of Purim in order to hear the Megillah reading, if he does not have a Minyan available at home. In such a case, he may go to Shul for Shacharis although is to Daven Maariv at home. On the day of Purim, he may go to Shul for Megillah even if he is able to arrange a Minyan at home. He is obligated to send Mishloach Manos and Matanos Laevyonim on Purim, although he is not to send foods of Simcha.

Onen: On the night of Purim he is to Daven and hear Megillah. He may not eat meat and drink wine. On the day of Purim, he is to hear Megillah and may eat meat and drink wine. He may Daven and say Shema prior to the burial if there will not be time to do so afterwards. He is to put on Tefillin without a blessing after the burial.

 

Q&A related to Shiva, Shloshim and 12 months

Is a mourner allowed to participate in a Purim party?[407]

A mourner within Shiva:[408] A mourner within Shiva may not leave his house on Purim, even to participate in an annual and communal Purim party. This applies even if music will not be played at the party.

A mourner within Shloshim: A mourner within Shloshim of his father or mother may not participate in an annual and communal Purim party. This applies even if music will not be played at the party. [Some[409] write that other mourners that are within Shloshim may participate in a Purim party that they attend annually, so long as they do not dance, and music will not be played at the party. However, other Poskim[410] are stringent even in such a case.]

A mourner within 12 months: All mourners of a parent that are within the year of mourning may participate in a Purim party that they attend annually, so long as they do not dance, and music will not be played at the party.[411] However, there are Poskim[412] who are stringent even in such a case.

Seuda in home of Avel:[413] An Avel may hold a Purim feast in his home and invite family and friends to join. If music is played each year by the feast, it is permitted for the music to be played even in the attendance of the Avel.[414]

                                           

May a mourner who is a musician play music at a Purim party on Purim?[415]

Yes. He may play music in order to help others rejoice on Purim. This allowance especially applies by a Seudas Mitzvah. However, this is only allowed if the mourner is not within Shiva. Likewise, if a person is a mourner on his father or mother, it is only allowed if he is not within the Shloshim.

Is a mourner to wear Shabbos clothing on Purim?[416]

Yes. This applies by both the night and day of Purim and applies even if one is within Shiva. He is certainly not to continue wearing his torn shirt.

May a mourner read the Megillah?[417]

A mourner within Shiva may read the Megillah for the public if there is no one else available that knows to read the Megillah as good as him. If, however, another reader is available, that can read just as good as the Avel, then it is better to have him do the reading.[418] Nevertheless, if the mourner is the annual Megillah reader, or is a person of important stature, then one may be lenient to have him read the Megillah even in such a case.[419]

The blessings: If the mourner is reading the Megillah only to himself, then he is to recite the blessings, including Shehechiyanu.[420] If he is reading the Megillah also on behalf of others, then according to some Poskim[421] he may not recite the blessing of Shehechiyanu and he is thus to have another person recite the blessings prior to him beginning the reading. [This applies even to a mourner who is past Shiva but is within Shloshim or within 12 months for the passing of a parent.]

Is a mourner to lead the prayers on Purim?

The Chabad custom is to do so.[422] However, some[423] are accustomed that mourners do not Daven for the Amud on Purim.

11. Pesach: Mourning laws applicable to Pesach:[424]

A. Onen:

See Chapter 3 Halacha 23A regarding when Aninus applies on Yom Tov, and the same applies for the first and last days of Yom Tov of Pesach. However, on Chol Hamoed, the full laws of Aninus apply, as explained there.

Bedikas Chametz? An Onen is exempt from checking for Chametz and is thus to have another person do so for him.[425] He is to acquire his Chametz to another Jew and that Jew is to consequently search the house for Chametz with a blessing.[426]

Sereifas/Mechiras Chametz on Erev Pesach? Some Poskim[427] rule an Onen is not obligated in destroying his Chametz before Pesach. Other Poskim[428], however, rule he is obligated to do so. Practically, he is to destroy his Chametz.[429]

Taanis Bechoros:[430] An Onen who is a Bechor is to fast on Erev Pesach.

Matzah/Seder night: The laws of Aninus do not apply on Yom Tov unless one plans to bury the deceased on Yom Tov, as explained in Halacha A. Nevertheless, in regard to saying the Haggadah, some Poskim[431] rule the Onen may not recite the Haggadah as it contains Pesukim and Midrashim. He is to hear the Haggadah from another rather than say it himself.[432] If, however, this is not possible, then he is to say it himself.[433] An Onen is not to lean on the night of the Seder upon drinking and eating Matzah.[434]

Sefiras Haomer?[435] An Onen is exempt from Sefiras Haomer. Nevertheless, if not counting the Omer will cause him to lose the ability to say a blessing on the coming nights, he is to count without a blessing.

 What is one to do with the Chametz of his relative who passed away?[436]

If one’s relative passed away before Pesach and one is unsure if he already sold his Chametz, then the rightful heir is to sell the Chametz if time still remains. If one is unable to sell the Chametz, such as it is already past the time of sale, then he is to explicitly state that he does not intend to acquire any of the Chametz of this relative. After Pesach, this Chametz must be destroyed and may not be benefited from by any of the heirs or other Jews.

B. Erev Pesach after the Burial:

Tefillin on Erev Pesach after burial:[437] If the burial took place on Erev Pesach, then the mourner does not wear Tefillin even after the burial takes place, as is always the rule on the first day of Shiva. [Practically, however, the Chabad custom is that the mourner puts on Tefillin after the burial without a blessing.[438]]

Seudas Havraah: Some Poskim[439] rule that a Seudas Havraah is not served on Erev Pesach in the event that the burial occurred that day or the previous night. This applies even before midday.[440] Other Poskim[441], however, rule that up until midday a Seudas Havraah is served while after midday it is not served. Some[442] suggest that it is to be served up until the end time of eating Chametz.

C. Breaking Shiva/Shloshim:

Pesach is considered like a holiday to nullify the Aveilus of Shiva or Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 3C.

The status of Erev Pesach within Shiva:[443] On Erev Pesach, the Shiva is nullified at midday, and hence one becomes permitted in all matters of Shiva [i.e. leather shoes; learning Torah; sitting on chair] as soon as midday arrives.[444] [However, one must wait until it is near sunset in order to bathe, as explained above in Halacha 1B.[445] However, one may launder his clothing for Yom Tov anytime on Erev Yom Tov, as stated there.[446] Due to the Shloshim, one may not get a haircut, as stated there.]

Cutting nails on Erev Pesach within Shiva:[447] Some Poskim rule an Avel during Shiva may cut his nails on Erev Pesach in order to clean them from Chametz. It is to be cut by another person, or with a Shinui.

The status of Erev Pesach within Shloshim: See Halacha 2B!

D. Shiva laws relating to before Pesach:

Bedikas Chametz:[448] A mourner during Shiva is obligated to check his house for Chametz. If he owns areas that require Bedika outside of his home, he is to appoint someone to do so in his place. If this is not possible, then he may leave his home and do so himself.

Siyum Misechta for a Bechor who is sitting Shiva on Erev Pesach:[449] Some Poskim[450] rule it is forbidden for a mourner within Shiva to participate in a Siyum Misechta.[451] He is to rather redeem the fast with charity.[452] Other Poskim[453] rule he may go to the Shul and participate in a Siyum Misechta. Alternatively, the Siyum is to take place in his house.

E. Leaning by the Seder:[454]

A mourner who did not begin Shiva before Yom Tov, and will only begin it after Yom Tov [see Halacha 1A] is not to lean on the night of the Seder.[455] However, a mourner who began Shiva before Yom Tov, and certainly a mourner during Shloshim or within 12 months, is obligated to lean on the night of the Seder.[456] [Nonetheless, he is to diminish slightly in the form of comfort that he usually has upon leaning.[457]]

F. Hallel:[458]

A mourner/Avel [within Shiva, or prior to burial] is obligated to recite the Hallel on this night [i.e. within the Haggadah], even though in general we are accustomed not to read Hallel in the home of an Avel.[459]

12. Shavuos: Mourning laws applicable to Shavuos

A. Onen:

See Chapter 3 Halacha 23A regarding when Aninus applies on Yom Tov, and the same applies for the Yom Tov of Shavuos.

B. Breaking Shiva/Shloshim:

Shavuos is considered like a holiday to nullify the Aveilus of Shiva or Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 3D.

The status of Erev Shavuos within Shiva: See Halacha 1B!

The status of Erev Shavuos within Shloshim: See Halacha 2B!

Tikkun Leil Shavuos:[460] A mourner may read the Tikkun Leil Shavuos even if he will begin the Shiva only after Yom Tov.

 Q&A regarding Sefirah

May an Avel cut his hair during Sefira after the Shloshim and/or Shiur Gearah?[461]

Some Poskim[462] rule it is permitted for him to get a haircut during Sefira, although he should perform Hataras Nedarim. Other Poskim[463], however, rule it is forbidden to do so. Practically, one is only to be lenient in a case of need.[464] This allowance certainly applies past the mourning period of Aveilus, even if one generally follows the opinion of the Arizal to avoid haircuts throughout the entire Sefira.[465]

13. Tishe Beav: Mourning laws applicable to the Three weeks, Nine days  & Tishe Beav

A. Onen:

All the regular laws of Onen apply on Tishe Beav.

Fasting:[466] An Onen is obligated to fast on Tishe Beav and all public fasts.

May an Onen go to Shul on Tishe Beav?[467] An Onen does not go to Shul on Tishe Beav until after the burial. [However Admur[468] rules that a son which is an Onen on his father may go to Shul and say Kaddish for his father.[469] Practically, so is the Chabad custom.[470] The Rebbe said Kaddish while he was an Onen for his mother, Rebbetzin Chana, and his wife, Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka.[471] Nevertheless, the Onen is to only participate in the Kaddish and is not to recite Kinus or any of the prayers.[472]]

B. After the burial:

Seudas Havraah:[473] If the burial occurred on Erev Tishe Beav, then a regular Seudas Havraah is served after the burial on Erev Tishe Beav just like the rest of the year. If the burial occurred on Tishe Beav, a Seudas Havraah is not served even after Tishe Beav, as explained in Chapter 14 Halacha 2B!

Tefillin on Tishe Beav:[474] If the burial took place on Tishe Beav, then the mourner does not wear Tefillin even after the burial takes place, even by Mincha, as is always the rule on the first day of Shiva. [Practically, however, the Chabad custom throughout the year is that after the burial, the mourner puts on Tefillin without a blessing.[475]]

C. May an Avel within Shiva go to Shul on Tishe Beav?[476]

An Avel within Shiva may attend Shul on the night of Tishe Beav, and by day until the completion of the Kinus.[477] [He, however, is not to go to Shul for Mincha.[478]] This applies even within the first three days of Aveilus.[479] However, some Poskim[480] are stringent that if the Avel is within the first three days of mourning, then he is not to attend the Shul. Other Poskim[481] say he is to attend only during the day and not at night.

Q&A

Does an Avel Daven for the Amud on Tishe Beav?

Yes.[482] Although some[483] write he is not to do so, just like by a Yom Tov.

May an Avel within Shiva receive an Aliyah on Tishe Beav?[484]

He may receive an Aliyah during Shacharis, including the Aliyah of Maftir. However, he may not receive an Aliyah by Mincha.

Changing seats in Shul:[485]

There is no need for the Avel to switch seats on Tishe Beav.

D. Ended Aveilus during the period of the Three Weeks:

May an Avel cut his hair during the three weeks?[486] If an Avel ended his Aveilus [i.e. Shloshim; Shiur Gearah] during the week of Tisha B’av, and his long hair is of bother to him, then he may cut it with a razor, although not with a scissor. [This applies specifically to the week of Tisha Beav. However, if his Aveilus ended prior to the week of Tisha Beav, such as between the 17th of Tammuz and Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av, then he may cut his hair regularly with scissors.[487] Some Poskim[488] rule that this applies even during the nine days, until the week of Tisha B’av. However, other Poskim[489] rule that starting from Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av, during the nine days, an Avel may not cut his hair regularly, and must rather use a razor as stated above. Practically, one may be lenient in a time of need.[490]]

May an Avel wash his clothing during the three weeks?[491] If an Avel ended his Shiva during the nine days, he may wash his clothing although without using soap. This applies even on the week of Tishe Beav.

14. Fast days:

All the regular laws of Onen, Burial, Shiva and Shloshim apply on a fast day.

Fasting:[492] An Onen is obligated to fast on all public fasts.

Is Avinu Malkeinu recited on a fast day in the house of an Avel?[493] Yes.

Seudas Havraah: If the burial occurred on the fast day, a Seudas Havraah is not served even after the fast day, as explained in Chapter 14 Halacha 2B in Q&A!

15. Rosh Chodesh: Mourning laws applicable to Rosh Chodesh

A. Onen:

The laws of Aninus apply on Rosh Chodesh just as they apply the rest of the year.

B. Burial:

Eulogy/Hesped:[494] One does not say a Hesped on Rosh Chodesh[495], unless the person is a Torah Sage, and his body is present at the time of the Hesped.[496] Some opinions[497] rule that a Hesped should not be said even on the night of Rosh Chodesh.

Tziduk Hadin:[498] One does not say Tziduk Hadin, or the [lengthy] Kaddish that follows it, on Rosh Chodesh. This applies even by the burial of a Torah Sage.[499] This law applies for all days that Tachanun is not said.[500]

Seudas Havraah:[501] The Seudas Havraah which customarily takes place following the burial is likewise to be eaten during Rosh Chodesh, after the burial.

C. Breaking Shiva/Shloshim:

Rosh Chodesh is not considered like a holiday to nullify the Aveilus of Shiva or Shloshim, as explained in Halacha 3F.

 

D. Shiva:

The laws of Shiva apply on Rosh Chodesh just as the rest of the year.

16. Sheva Brachos:

See Chapter 13 Halacha 10 regarding the laws of mourning applicable during Sheva Brachos!

 

17. Nesias Kapayim on Yom Tov during Aveilus:

The Ashkenazi custom is that a mourner who is a Kohen does not perform Nesias Kapayim throughout the mourning period, which is within 12 months for the passing of a mother or father and within thirty days for the passing of other relatives. The Avel is to exit the Shul prior to Ritzei. See Chapter 24 Halacha 6C for the full details of this matter!

 

_________________________________

[1] See Michaber O.C. 548; Y.D. 399; Pnei Baruch 27-29; Nitei Gavriel Chapter 119-125

[2] Michaber O.C. 548:7; Y.D. 399:1; Admur 472:3

[3] The reason: As the Holiday removes from the soul its judgment in heaven. [See Chasam Sofer Y.D. 348; Nitei Gavriel 119:1]

[4] Shach 399:1; Taz 399:1; M”A 548:9; Masas Binyamin 74; Elya Raba 548:8; Chochmas Adam 169:1; Kitzur SHU”A 220:1; M”B 548:26; Nitei Gavriel 119:1

[5] Michaber ibid and ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the Yom Tov breaks the seven days of Shiva even if one did not begin the Shiva beforehand. [Razah, brought in Rashal Teshuvah 5 and Taz 399:4]

[6] Taz 399:1; Masas Binyamin; See Chaim Bayad 119; Rav Poalim 3:27

[7] See Daas Kedoshim 399; Nitei Gavriel 119:1 footnote 2

[8] Michaber O.C. ibid

[9] Implication of Michaber ibid; unlike ruling in Nitei Gavriel 119:2 and his understanding of Radbaz and Matzeivas Moshe in next footnote, which clearly do not write what he says

[10] Michaber ibid and ibid

The law if the mourners who stayed home were not informed that the burial took place before Yom Tov: In the event that some relatives went to the funeral/burial within the city, or its outskirts, while others remained home, then some Poskim rule that if the burial ended before Yom Tov, then the Shiva is nullified even for the relatives who stayed home and did not keep Aveilus due to not being informed on time that the burial was complete. [Radbaz 63; Matzeivas Moshe 9; Nitei Gavriel 119:2; Vol. 2 3:8; See Sdei Chemed Aveilus 14] Other Poskim, however, rule that the Aveilus is only nullified in such a case if one kept some laws of Aveilus before night, even though they were unaware at the time if the burial already took place at that time. [See Pischeiy Teshuvah 375:1 in name of Derech Chaim] From other Poskim it is implied that the Aveilus is never nullified. [Shach 375:1; Beir Heiytiv 375:1] See Chapter 13 Halacha 7A for the full details of this matter and Halacha 7B for the law in a case that the burial is taking place in another country or city.

The law if the mourner practiced Shiva by Bein Hashmashos: Once sunset arrives, or the mourner accepted Yom Tov, the mourner may no longer sit Shiva and have it broken by the Holiday. However, if he went ahead and did so prior to nightfall, then the Shiva is broken. [Beis Yehuda 2:57; Maharanach 2:51; Birkeiy Yosef 399]

[11] Michaber O.C. 548:17; Y.D. 402:5 and 7; 399:1

[12] Michaber O.C. 548:17; Y.D. 399:1

[13] Michaber 399:14; See also Michaber 375:2

[14] See Chapter 13 Halacha 10!

[15] See Nitei Gavriel Nissuin 114:2

[16] Kneses Hagedola Likkutim in name of Eidus Beyaakov 11, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 342; Mechzeh Avraham 16:29; China Vichisda 1 p. 56; Sdei Chemed Aveilus 184; Mishmeres Shalom Ches 52; Yabia Omer 6:34

[17] Rav Akiva Eiger 342 questions ruling of Poskim ibid and concludes with Tzaruch Iyun; Zera Emes 2:149; Darkei Noam 1:8; Rav Poalim Y.D. 4:39; Gesher Hachaim 19:7

[18] Michaber O.C. 548:10; Y.D. 399:5

[19] Michaber O.C. 548:10; Y.D. 399:5

[20] The reason: As the decree of Shiva has already concluded. [Shach 399:14]

[21] The reason: In order so it is recognizable to all that he is laundering the clothing out of respect to the Holiday. [Michaber ibid]

[22] See Rama 389:1

[23] Shach 399:16; Beis Hillel 399; See Taz O.C. 548:3 and Y.D. 399:5; M”A 548:15; Bach 399; Levush 399; Terumas Hadeshen 287

[24] Rama 548:10; Beir Hagoleh on Rama 399:5; See Shach and Taz ibid for how they answer this contradiction; See Daas Kedoshim 389:1

[25] Shach ibid

[26] Michaber O.C. 548:10; Y.D. 399:5

[27] The reason: As since it is possible for one to take a shower at night, therefore there is no reason to permit it before Yom Tov begins. [Shach 399:15; M”A 548:13]

[28] M”A 548:14 in implication of Michaber ibid and ibid and Bach 606 that he must actually Daven Mincha, which signifies the start of the Holiness of the Holiday; M”B 548:40; Rebbe in next footnote

[29] Michaber ibid records both opinions

[30] See M”A 606:10 [permits 1-2 hours beforehand by Erev Yom Kippur]; Aruch Hashulchan 548:8 [permits 1-2 hours beforehand by Yom Tov]; See however Rebbe in next footnote

[31] See Toras Menachem 41:49 and Igros Kodesh 29:9, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:283, which seems to negate the above allowance of 1-2 hours and require one to immerse as close as possible to the start of Yom Tov and not 1-2 hours beforehand. So can also be implied from M”A ibid that the allowance only applies to Erev Yom Kippur and not another Yom Tov. Vetzaruch Iyun

[32] Rama Y.D. 399:5 [in contradiction of Rama 548:10; See Shach and Taz ibid for how they answer this contradiction]

[33] See Rama 381:1

[34] Implication of Rama Y.D. 399:5 [in contradiction of Rama 548:10]; Shach 399:16; Taz O.C. 548:3 and Y.D. 399:5 that so is main ruling of Rama; Conclusion of M”A 548:15 to be lenient in understanding of Rama; Bach 399; Levush 399; Terumas Hadeshen 287; Beis Hillel 399; Chayeh Adam 169:3; Kitzur SHU”A 220:3; M”B 548:40

[35] Shach 399:16

[36] Rama O.C. 548:10 [Unlike Rama Y.D. 399:5; See Shach and Taz and M”A ibid for how they answer this contradiction]; Darkei Moshe 548; Beir Hagoleh on Rama 399:5; Derisha 548; Elya Raba 548:12 based on Darkei Moshe ibid who explicitly writes that the ruling of the Terumos Hadeshen ibid does not apply according to our custom today and the Rama ibid concludes that so is our custom [not to bathe]; Teshuas Chein 32; Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:7

[37] Chayeh Adam 169:3; Kitzur SHU”A 220:3; M”B 548:40; Nitei Gavriel 119:6

[38] Shach ibid

[39] Shach 399:14

[40] The reason: As the holiday does not nullify the Shloshim being that the Shiva has not yet been completed prior to the start of the Holiday. [Shach ibid]

[41] See Michaber 390:7 that the prohibition of nail cutting is similar to that of haircutting; See also Nitei Gavriel 2 7:7-8

Erev Pesach: See Halacha 11B!

[42] Admur 606:14 regarding Yom Kippur; M”A 548:14; Nemukei Yosef; M”B 548:39; See Nitei Gavriel 119:8; Mateh Ephraim 625:13; Devar Moshe 3:21; Daas Kedoshim 399:4

Other opinions: Some Poskim are lenient beginning from Mincha Ketana to permit these things. [Elya Raba 548:11 in name of Raavan; Bigdei Yesha 548; Kaf Hachaim 548:54; brought in Shaar Hatziyon 548:29]

[43] Michaber Y.D. 399:3

[44] Rama 399:3 based on Mahariy Mintz 64 regarding customs of Shloshim and the same would apply regarding Shiva; Tashbeitz; Chochmas Adam 169:3; Daas Torah 399:3 in name of Or Zarua; Mishmeres Shalom Ayin 20; Shevet Halevi 6:173; Nitei Gavriel 124:13

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that even on Erev Pesach, the laws of Shiva apply close to sunset. [Shach 399:11 questions the ruling of Rama, and his understanding in the Mahariy Mintz ibid and concludes with a Tzaruch Iyun; See Birkeiy Yosef 399 based on Ritva; Kitzur SHU”A in Lechem Hapanim 220; Divrei Yatziv 240 that the ruling of Rama is limited to Shloshim, however, regarding Shiva, he too agrees that it is kept until night] Nitei Gavriel ibid concludes that we are lenient by Aveilus like the first opinion

[45] The reason: As at midday we began slaughtering the Pesach sacrifice [Rama ibid] and it is hence considered like a Holiday to the point that we no longer do Melacha. [See Shach 399:12]

[46] The reason: As the laws of Shloshim still apply, and we only revoke it for the sake of Yom Tov if it is near Yom Tov, as stated above.

[47] When on Erev Pesach may/should one launder? The Michaber 399:5 and O.C. 548:10 rules that laundering should be done after midday of Erev Yom Tov, however, perhaps on Erev Pesach it can be done before midday, being that there is a prohibition of Melacha after midday and everyone knows that one is laundering before midday for the sake of the Yom Tov. Nonetheless, we would not apply the rule that it must be done before midday [due to the Issur Melacha and ruling of Rama ibid regarding Shloshim to get a haircut before midday] as by a haircut the reason is because other people are prohibited in giving haircuts, and not because the Avel cannot do this Melacha after midday, as explains Shach 399:12 in negation of Levush. Thus, here regarding laundering where this reason of a haircut does not apply, it would seem that there is no preference of before or after midday. Vetzaruch Iyun Lemaaseh, as doing laundry after midday breaks the Issur Melacha [even though here we can permit an Avel] but makes it more recognizable, while before midday avoids the Issur Melacha, but makes it less recognizable.

[48] Terumas Hadeshen 287 regarding if buried on Erev Shabbos, brought in M”A 548:15; Shach 399:16; Noda Beyehuda Kama Y.D. 99; Derech Hachaim; Biur Halacha 548:11 “Deha” concludes one who is lenient like this opinion is not to be protested; See Michaber O.C. 548:8; Y.D. 399:3 regarding the same scenario vis a vis Shloshim

[49] Laundering clothing for Shabbos: It is not stated whether one may launder clothing on Erev Shabbos according to the lenient opinion, however, being that the matters are similar, perhaps it is permitted according to them, just as we permit on Erev Yom Tov.

[50] Elya Raba 548:11; P”M 548, brought in Biur Halacha 548:11 “Deha” [questions their ruling and says we cannot learn from Michaber ibid who refers to Shloshim and not Shiva, and hence one may only be lenient to wash in cold water]; Chochmas Adam 169:5

[51] Michaber O.C. 548:8; Y.D. 399:3

[52] Michaber O.C. 548:7; Y.D. 399:1

[53] The reason: The reason the Holiday counts towards Shloshim is because the laws of Shloshim, in which laundering, and haircuts are forbidden, applies likewise on Chol Hamoed. Now, although these prohibitions are anyways accustomed on Chol Hamoed irrelevant of the Shloshim, nonetheless, they receive an extra stringency of prohibition due to the Shloshim [as explained next], and therefore count as part of the Shloshim. [Michaber ibid]

[54] Michaber 399:1; Taz O.C. 548:2; Y.D. 399:2; Ramban, brought in Taz ibid and Beis Yosef 399; Chochmas Adam; Misgeres Hashulchan 219:2

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that there are no added stringencies on Chol Hamoed, even though it counts as part of the Shloshim. [Rosh, brought in Tur 399 and Taz ibid; Masas Binyamin 70, brought in Taz ibid; Kitzur Shu”a 219:7 in Lechem Hapanim]

[55] Michaber ibid “Ironed new and white clothing” [and according to the custom mentioned in Rama 389:1 this would apply to all clothing, however, perhaps by a Holiday no such Minhag exists and hence everyone would agree that freshly laundered clothing is permitted. Vetzaruch Iyun]; Implication of M”A 548:5; Chochmas Adam ibid; Misgeres Hashulchan ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is permitted for the mourner to wear freshly laundered clothing throughout Yom Tov even though he is within Shloshim. [Kitzur Shu”a 219:7 in Lechem Hapanim based on other opinions of previous footnote; Or Zarua brought in Darkei Moshe 399:1; Pnei Yehoshua 2:39; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 10:10]

[56] Misgeres Hashulchan ibid; See Chapter 22 Halacha 9B!

[57] Michaber O.C. 532:1

[58] Rama ibid; See Shach 399:5

[59] See Nachalas Shiva 73, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:1; Elya Raba 132 Dinei Kaddish 7; P”M 132 M.Z. end; M”B 548:3; Toras Menachem 41:65, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:268; Nitei Gavriel 119:18 and Vol. 2 1:5

[60] The reason: The reason for this is because the Yom Tov only nullifies the mourning customs of Shiva and not the need for doing things to elevate the Neshamah during that time. [See Nachalas Shiva ibid; Nitei Gavriel vol. 2 ibid footnote 7]

[61] The reason: This is done in order not to encourage eulogies and crying on the Holiday. [Poskim ibid]

[62] M”A 548:5 in name of Maharam Melublin 107; P”M 548 A”A 5; Gilyon Maharsha 393 and 399 [See there for the opinion of the Kneses Hagedola]

[63] The reason: As the Aveilus has not yet begun and it is thus not proper to begin it during the festival. [ibid]

[64] Admur 128:55; M”A 128:64; Shaar Ephraim 52; Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 399:2; See Nitei Gavriel 119:15

[65] M”B 548:42; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 9:9; See dispute recorded in Halacha B regarding bathing on Erev Yom Tov, and this same dispute would apply here, although during the actual Moed there is more room to be lenient. [See Shaar Hatziyon 548:32]

[66] Toras Menachem 41:65, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:268 based on Poskim regarding lighting the candle throughout Shiva even in such a case [Nachalas Shiva 73, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:1; Elya Raba 132 Dinei Kaddish 7; P”M 132 M.Z. end; M”B 548:3]

[67] See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 chapter 2

[68] Michaber O.C. 548:8; Y.D. 399:3

[69] See Halacha 3!

[70] The reason: As we say Miktzas Hayom Kekuklo, and it hence counts as both the end of Shiva and the start of Shloshim. [Michaber ibid]

[71] See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 2:3 regarding if the seventh day falls on Yom Kippur. Vitamua!

[72] See Michaber O.C. 548:9; Y.D. 339:4; Rama 390:4; Levushei Serud on O.C. ibid

[73] Michaber O.C. 548:8; Y.D. 399:3; Mateh Ephraim 625:11; Chochmas Adam 169:3; Kitzur SHU”A 250:4; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 5:1

[74] See Michaber O.C. 548:10; Y.D. 399:5 regarding Shiva that the laundering may be done anytime on Erev Yom Tov, although it is best to do so near midday. One must thus conclude that the Rama’s statement [brought next] requiring it to be done near nighttime is limited to bathing and haircuts and not to laundry.

[75] Michaber Y.D. 399:5 regarding Shiva; Shvus Yaakov 3:90, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:6 and Gilyon Maharsha 399;

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is permitted to even wear the clothing near sunset. [Teshuvos Bach 12; Rama 400:2 regarding Erev Shabbos of 30th day; Beis Hillel 399; Beis Lechem Yehuda 399; Teshuas Chein 33; Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:6; Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:6] However, new Shabbos clothing should not be worn. [Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:6; Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:6; Chochmas Adam 169:1; P”M 548 leaves this matter ion question]

Changing seats in Shul: Some Poskim rule it is permitted to sit in one’s regular seat even before sunset. [Teshuvos Bach 12; Rav Akiva Eiger 399; Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:6]

[76] Rama Y.D. ibid and O.C. ibid regarding bathing; Tur 399; Ravayah; Hagahos Ashri brought in Beis Yosef 548; See Shach 399:10 regarding negation of source in Tur ibid

The reason: In order so it be readily apparent to all that he is doing so due to the Holiday. [Shach ibid in name of Ravaya]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is permitted for this to be done anytime on Erev Yom Tov, and especially after midday. [Implication of Setimas Michaber ibid; Implied ruling of second opinion in Michaber 548:10 as learns Biur Hagr”a 548, Kaf Hachaim 548:39, Biur Halacha 548; See Sdei Chemed 210; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 5:1]

[77] See M”A 606:10; Aruch Hashulchan 548:8; See Toras Menachem 41:49 and Igros Kodesh 29:9, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:283 regarding Shiva; Vetzaruch Iyun if here too one is to Daven Mincha beforehand, although seemingly, being that not bathing during Shloshim is only a custom, one may therefore be lenient.

[78] Michaber Y.D. ibid; Rama O.C. ibid that this applies even according to the Ashkenazi custom which prohibits bathing during Shloshim, it is permitted close to the festival, being that the festival breaks the Shloshim; The Rama ibid writes that one may bathe near the start of Yom Tov, and there is no need to wait until the start of Yom Tov to bathe.

[79] Nitei Gavriel 2 7:7 in name of Mateh Ephraim 625:13; Devar Moshe 3:21; Daas Kedoshim 399:4

[80] Michaber 399:4; See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 5:2-3

[81] Michaber O.C. ibid and Y.D. ibid

[82] Michaber O.C. 548:9; Y.D. 339:4; Rama 390:4

[83] Rama ibid; Elya Raba 548:9; Chochmas Adam 169:3; Kitzur SHU”A 220:4; M”B 548:31

[84] Rama ibid based on Mahariy Mintz 64

The reason: As at midday we began slaughtering the Pesach sacrifice [Rama ibid] and it is hence considered like a Holiday to the point that we no longer do Melacha. [See Shach 399:12]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that even on Erev Pesach, one may not launder or bathe unless it is close to sunset, and it is only haircuts which is permitted prior to midday. [Shach 399:11 questions the ruling of Rama, and his understanding in the Mahariy Mintz ibid and concludes with a Tzaruch Iyun; See Birkeiy Yosef 399 based on Ritva]

[85] Rama 399:3; Mahariy Mintz ibid; Shach 399:12; Chochmas Adam 169:3; Kitzur SHU”A 220:4; ; M”B 548:31; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 5:7

The reason: As one may no longer do Melacha after midday, including haircuts. Now, although he may get a haircut after midday [as is the ruling even on Chol Hamoed regarding one who got up from mourning-Michaber 531:7] nonetheless, he will be forced to give himself the haircut as other people are forbidden in doing so for him. [Shach ibid; Mahariy Mintz ibid] Alternatively, the reason is because it is forbidden also for him to cut his hair after midday, just as is forbidden for others. [Levush 399, recorded, and negated, in Shach ibid]

[86] Implication of Rama ibid; Shach 399:12

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that if one did not get a haircut before midday, he may not do so later on. [Levush 399, recorded, and negated, in Shach ibid]

[87] Michaber O.C. 548:8; Y.D. 399:3

[88] See Biur Halacha 548:8 “Shemutar Lisaper” that on Erev Shabbos one is not required to Daven Mincha beforehand

[89] Some Poskim rule that it is forbidden to bathe on Erev Shabbos with hot water. Other Poskim however rule that if Shabbos is Erev Yom Tov, then one may bathe even in hot water on Erev Shabbos [close to sunset]. See Halacha 1B for the full details of this matter!

[90] Michaber O.C. 531:7; 548:8; Y.D. 399:3

[91] See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 chapter 2

[92] Michaber O.C. 548:11; Y.D. 399:6; 399:1 that a Regel nullifies Shiva; Mishneh Moed Katan 19

[93] Michaber O.C. 548:14; Y.D. 399:9

[94] See Michaber O.C. 548:9; Y.D. 339:4; Rama 390:4; Chapter 23 Halacha 10

[95] Michaber ibid and ibid

[96] Michaber O.C. 548:11; Y.D. 399:6; 399:1 that a Regel nullifies Shiva; Mishneh Moed Katan 19

[97] Michaber O.C. 548:9; Y.D. 339:4; Rama 390:4; Chapter 23 Halacha 10

[98] Michaber O.C. 548:15; Y.D. 399:10

[99] Michaber Y.D. 399:9; O.C. 548:11; See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2:3 regarding if the seventh day falls on Yom Kippur then it nullifies Shiva and Shloshim. Vitamua, as the Michaber ibid implies to the contrary and so he rules in 399:3!

[100] See Michaber O.C. 548:9; Y.D. 339:4; Rama 390:4; Chapter 23 Halacha 10

[101] Michaber O.C. 548:14; Y.D. 399:9

[102] Michaber O.C. 548:12; Y.D. 399:7

[103] Rama 399:3 based on Mahariy Mintz 64 regarding customs of Shloshim and the same would apply regarding Shiva; Tashbeitz; Chochmas Adam 169:3; Daas Torah 399:3 in name of Or Zarua; Mishmeres Shalom Ayin 20; Shevet Halevi 6:173; Nitei Gavriel 124:13

If buried Erev Pesach before midday: If one’s relative was buried on Erev Pesach before Chatzos, some Poskim rule that one sits Shiva until Chatzos, and starting from Chatzos one’s Shiva is nullified. [Rama 399:3 based on Mahariy Mintz 64 regarding customs of Shloshim and the same would apply regarding Shiva; Tashbeitz; Chochmas Adam 169:3; Daas Torah 399:3 in name of Or Zarua; Mishmeres Shalom Ayin 20; Shevet Halevi 6:173; Nitei Gavriel 124:13]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that even on Erev Pesach, the laws of Shiva apply close to sunset. [Shach 399:11 questions the ruling of Rama, and his understanding in the Mahariy Mintz ibid and concludes with a Tzaruch Iyun; See Birkeiy Yosef 399 based on Ritva; Kitzur SHU”A in Lechem Hapanim 220; Divrei Yatziv 240 that the ruling of Rama is limited to Shloshim, however, regarding Shiva, he too agrees that it is kept until night] Nitei Gavriel ibid concludes that we are lenient by Aveilus like the first opinion

[104] Implication of Michaber ibid and ibid that one hour before the night of Pesach suffices; All Poskim in next footnote

[105] Chochmas Adam 169:3; Mikraeiy Kodesh 58:35; Shevet Halevi 6:173; Based on Rama 399:3 regarding Shemua Kerova on Shabbos Erev Yom Tov; Nitei Gavriel Pesach 51:1; Aveilus 124:14; Vetzaruch Iyun from Setimas Hamichaber in O.C. and Y.D. ibid that implies one keeps full Aveilus before Pesach.

[106] Michaber O.C. 548:13; Y.D. 399:8

[107] The reason: As since if one were to not bring the Karban of Shavuos on the actual Yom Tov he would have another six days to bring it, for a total of seven days, therefore the one day of Shavuos counts as seven days [Michaber ibid and ibid]

[108] Michaber ibid

The reason: As the second day of Yom Tov is merely Rabbinical. [Shach 399:17]

[109] Michaber 399:7

[110] Michaber O.C. 548:16; Y.D. 399:11

[111] Michaber ibid and ibid; Taz 399:6 in name of Rosh

The reason it does not nullify the Shloshim: The Holiday of Shemini Atzeres does not nullify the Shloshim being that one did not keep any of the recognized laws of Shloshim post Shiva, prior to Shemini Atzeres. Now, although one does not launder during Chol Hamoed, this is due to the laws of Chol Hamoed and hence cannot be used to nullify the Shloshim. [Taz 399:6 in name of Rosh] Now, although there are added stringencies to this prohibition due to the Aveilus of Shloshim, as explained in Michaber 399:3 based on Ramban, nevertheless, there must be an act of mourning of Shloshim being practiced that is unique and recognizable to others in order for the Chag to nullify the Shloshim. [Taz ibid]

[112] Michaber ibid

[113] Michaber 401:7

[114] See Michaber 401

[115] See Nachalas Shiva 73, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:1; Elya Raba 132 Dinei Kaddish 7; P”M 132 M.Z. end; M”B 548:3; Toras Menachem 41:65, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:268; Nitei Gavriel 119:18 and Vol. 2 1:5

[116] The reason: This is done in order not to encourage eulogies and crying on the Holiday. [Poskim ibid]

[117] Michaber O.C. 548:5; Y.D. 399:1; Taz 399:3

[118] M”A 548:6

[119] Panim Meiros 2:191; Pischeiy Teshuvah 402:2; Birkeiy Yosef 402; Nitei Gavriel 119:17

[120] Michaber 340:16; Moed Katan 22b; See Michaber 340:17 regarding from which side the Chalitzas Kateif is done

[121] Michaber O.C. 547:7; Y.D. 401:4

[122] Rama 340:17; Kol Bo in name of Riy; See Michaber ibid that a Gadul is not required to do so if it is beneath his dignity.

[123] Michaber 547:10

[124] Michaber 547:10

[125] The reason: In order so it be recognizable to all that it is being done for the sake of the deceased. [Michaber ibid]

[126] See M”A 547:6

[127] See Michaber 547; Pnei Baruch 6:12

[128] Michaber O.C. 547:1; Y.D. 401:1; Mishneh Moed Katan 27a

[129] Michaber 547:10

[130] Michaber 547:11

[131] Michaber O.C. 547:1; Y.D. 401:1; See Michaber 547:2 and 401:5 regarding the forms of waling permitted on Chol Hamoed

Is this prohibition Biblical or Rabbinical? This matter is disputed in Poskim. Some rule it is Biblically forbidden while others rule it is Rabbinically forbidden. [Daas Torah 547]

[132] Nitei Gavriel 73:1 footnote 1

[133] Nitei Gavriel 79:7

[134] Rama O.C. 420:2 and Y.D. 401:6 that so is the widespread custom in these provinces; Admur 429:8 regarding month of Nissan; Tur 401 in name of Rishonim; Maharitz Geios; Chochmas Adam 169:26; Kitzur SHU”A 198:14; See Kaf Hachaim 420:2; Nitei Gavriel 78:7

Other opinions-Sephardim: Some Poskim rule that Tziduk Hadin and Kaddish is recited on days that Tachanun is omitted being it is not considered a eulogy but merely a blessing to Hashem. [Michaber Y.D. 401:6 regarding even Yom Tov Sheiyni; O.C. 420:2 regarding Rosh Chodesh; Opinions in Tur 420; Talmidei Rashi; Rambam, brought in Taz ibid; Siddur Beis Oveid] Practically, each community is to follow their custom, and in a place where there is no set custom, it is better not to say it. [Kaf Hachaim ibid] The general Sephardic practice, however, is to say it. [Nitei Gavriel 78:8]

[135] Rama 401:6 and Shach 376:3 regarding nighttime; All Poskim in next footnote 

[136] Tur 401; Rambam ibid; See Nitei Gavriel 79:7-8 for different customs

[137] Nitei Gavriel 80:13

[138] Michaber 547:12; Hagahos Maimanis Yom Tov 2 in name of Maharam; Mamar Mordechai 547; Kneses Hagedola 376; Beir Heiytiv 547:7; Shulchan Gavoa 547:23; Hagahos Rav Akiva Eiger 376:4; M”B 547:25 that so is the custom; Kaf Hachaim 547:43; Gesher Hachaim p. 152; Darkei Chesed 16:11; Chol Hamoed Kehilchasa 12:20; Nitei Gavriel 80:3

Other Poskim: Some Poskim rule it is permitted to do so. [Hamabit 27; Elya Raba 547, brought in Beir Heiytiv 547:7; Siddur Beis Oveid; Kitzur SHU”A 199:10]

[139] Michaber 399:1

[140] Michaber 399:1 regarding if did not practice Shiva before Yom Tov; Michaber O.C. 548:1-2, Y.D. 399:2 regarding if buried on Yom Tov or Chol Hamoed

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the Yom Tov breaks the seven days of Shiva even if one did not begin the Shiva beforehand. [Razah, brought in Rashal Teshuvah 5 and Taz 399:4]

[141] Levushei Serud 548:1

[142] Michaber O.C. 548:1; Y.D. 399:2; Taz 399:7

[143] Michaber O.C. 548:2; Y.D. 399:2; Rambam Aveilus 10; Taz 399:7 in name of Maharil, Hagahos Maimanis, that this applies even if the second day of Yom Tov is not the day of Burial and so is conclusion of Taz O.C. 548:1 and Y.D. 399:7 as rules Rambam and Michaber ibid

The reason: Since the second day of Yom Tov in the Diaspora is only Rabbinical, therefore it counts as the first day of Shiva. [Michaber O.C.  and Y.D. ibid]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that only if the burial took place on the 2nd day of Yom Tov do we count it as the first day of Shiva. [Rashal in name of Reah, brought and negated in Taz O.C. 548:1 and Y.D. 399:7]

[144] Teshuvos Bach 9, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:5 and Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:2; Nitei Gavriel 119:3 in name of Bach 389

The novelty: Although in such a case, even in Eretz Yisrael they will not begin Shiva until the next day, nevertheless in the Diaspora the 2nd day counts as the first day of Shiva. [Bach ibid]

[145] Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 2:7

[146] Michaber 548:2; See Michaber Y.D. 399:13 and conclusion of Michaber and Rama ibid that the custom is to never sit Shiva on the last day of Yom Tov even if the death and burial occurred that day

[147] Shach 399:8 in name of Bach 399; Conclusion of M”A 548:2 ; Teshuvos Bach 9, Radbaz 1:51, Masas Binyamin, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:5 and Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:2; Taz O.C. 548:1 and Y.D. 399:7 only regarding if was buried on second day; Rama 548:2 mentions to look in Rama 399:13 as to whether or not Rosh Hashanah counts as the first day of Shiva. However, practically, the Rama makes no mention there of this idea, as questions the Levushei Serud 548:2

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the second day of Rosh Hashanah does not count as part of Shiva. [Reah and Maharil, brought in Taz 399:7, in name of Hagahos Maimanis] Other Poskim rule that only if the burial took place on the 2nd day of Rosh Hashanah do we count it as the first day of Shiva although if it took place on the first day of Rosh Hashanah then the second day does not count as part of Shiva, as it is considered a Yoma Arichta. [Taz O.C. 548:1 and Y.D. 399:7; Perach Mateh Aaron 1:98, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:5; M”A records Taz ibid and concludes to be lenient]

[148] Michaber O.C. 548:3; Y.D. 399:13

[149] See Admur 526:2

[150] See Michaber ibid and ibid; Levushei Serud O.C. ibid

[151] This refers to the seven relatives that a Kohen can defile himself to. However, the Rabbinical status mourning relatives do not begin the Shiva on Yom Tov. [Michaber Y.D. ibid; M”A 548:3; Levushei Serud O.C. ibid] See Chapter 12 Halacha 1A for the list of the Biblical versus Rabbinical relatives!

[152] The reason: As the first day of mourning is Biblical if the death and burial took place on the same day, while the second day of Yom Tov in the Diaspora is merely Rabbinical. Hence, the Biblical positive command of mourning overrides the Rabbinical positive command of Yom Tov. [Michaber ibid and ibid; Levushei Serud O.C. ibid]

[153] The reason: As the two days of Rosh Hashanah are considered like one long day. [Michaber ibid and ibid]

[154] Michaber Y.D. ibid

[155] Opinion in Rama O.C. ibid; This opinion holds that there is never a concept of Biblical mourning, as explained next

[156] Michaber Y.D. ibid [omitted from O.C. ibid]; Rama ibid and ibid; Rabbeinu Tam; Rosh

The reason: As we hold like those opinions who rule that Aveilus is Rabbinical even on the day of death and burial, and there is hence never Biblical status Aveilus [which would override the Rabbinical status of the second day of Yom Tov]. [Rama Y.D. ibid; M”A 548:4]

[157] Rama ibid

[158] Taz 399:7; Michaber 399:2; O.C. 548

[159] Michaber Y.D. 399:2; O.C. 548:1; See Taz 399:2

[160] Michaber O.C. ibid; See Shach 399:6 that all the laws only begin after the burial

[161] Michaber Y.D. ibid; See Taz 399:4; Noda Beyehuda 14, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:8, who questions that perhaps according to Rabbeinu Tam Shemini Atzeres should nullify the Shloshim; See also Rav Akiva Eiger 399

The reason: Although Shemini Atzeres is its own holiday and can potentially nullify Shloshim, this only applies if the Aveilus was already begun before the Holiday. Now although one has already begun some of the laws of Aveilus before Shemini Atzeres, such as not to launder and get haircuts, it does not suffice, as in order for Shemini Atzeres to nullify the Shloshim one must already have completed the Shiva. [Taz ibid]

[162] M”A 548:1; Taz O.C. 548:4; Y.D. 399:4 [in length in negation of other opinions and that so is implied from Rambam and Razah]; Shach 399:7 in name of Poskim [seems to side with this stringent opinion, although in Nekudos Hakesef he defends them; M”A 548:1 learns that Shach is lenient]; Hagahos Maimanis, brought in Beis Yosef 399; Bach 399 in name of Tosfos Moed Katan 24 and Mordechai in name of Rivash; Teshuvos Habach 11; Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:14; Birkeiy Yosef 548:8; Yosef Ometz 93; Chochmas Adam 169:2; M”B 548:4; See Nitei Gavriel 122 footnote 19

The reason: As we only say that Shemini Atzeres counts as seven days if the Shiva was begun prior to Yom Tov. [Poskim ibid]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that although Shemini Atzeres does not nullify the Shloshim, nevertheless, it counts as seven days [and hence one diminishes the amount of days from the burial until after Yom Tov, as well as six more days from the Shloshim. [Rashal Teshuvah 5; Derisha; Masas Binyamin 71, brought in Taz ibid and Shach ibid and defended in Nekudos Hakesef 399:4 against attacks of Taz; Rav Yosef brought in Taz ibid]; See Nitei Gavriel 122 footnote 19

[163] Taz O.C. 548:2 and Y.D. 399:2 in negation of Masas Binyamin; Kitzur SHU”A 219:8; M”B 548:27; Nitei Gavriel Nessuin 114:1

[164] Michaber 399:1 regarding if did not practice Shiva before Yom Tov; O.C. 548:4; Y.D. 399:2 regarding if buried during Chol Hamoed; Admur 472:4

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that that even Devarim Shebitzina do not apply on Yom Tov or Chol Hamoed, as the Shiva has yet to begin. [Rambam, brought in Gilyon Maharsha 399:1]

[165] Michaber 399:1

[166] Michaber O.C. 548:4; Y.D. 399:2

[167] Michaber O.C. ibid

[168] Rama ibid and ibid

[169] Admur 128:55; M”A 128:66

[170] Michaber O.C. 548:6; Y.D. 399:2; 399:1 regarding if did not break Shiva; Shach 399:4 that this applies even in a case that one discovered the death and burial on Chol Hamoed; Machazik Bracha 287:2; Kaf Hachaim 283:3

[171] See Nitei Gavriel 119:20 footnote 36 that even if in actuality the Avel was not comforted on those days, there is no status of Nichum Aveilim on those corresponding days of Shiva.

[172] Michaber Y.D. ibid writes “Marim Lo Panim”; Beir Hagoleh ibid interprets this to mean that they show up to his home.

[173] Michaber Y.D. ibid

[174] Nitei Gavriel 119:19-20; See there footnote 36 for explanation of why the custom is not to follow the above Halacha

[175] See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid and his conclusion that initially one should comfort the Avel within seven days from burial, otherwise it no longer has the status of Nichum Aveilim

[176] Michaber 399:1 regarding event that the Shiva was nullified by the Holiday, and the same applies here from the burial and onwards; Taz O.C. 548:2; Y.D. 399:2; Ramban, brought in Taz ibid and Beis Yosef 399

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that there are no added stringencies on Chol Hamoed, even though it counts as part of the Shloshim. [Rosh, brought in Tur 399 and Taz ibid; Masas Binyamin, brought in Taz ibid]

[177] Michaber O.C. 532:1

[178] Rama ibid; See Shach 399:5

[179] Rama 399:2 regarding burial on Chol Hamoed; Shach 399:3 that the same applies if he discovered the death after the Moed entered; See Rav Akiva Eiger 399 for explanation of why this is more lenient than Shiva in which we rule that he may never do the Melacha himself; Nitei Gavriel 119:25

[180] M”A 548:5; Maharam Melublin 107; Gilyon Maharsha 399

[181] The reason: As the Aveilus has not yet begun and it is thus not proper to begin it during the festival. [M”A ibid]

[182] Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:6; Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:6; Chochmas Adam 169:1; P”M 548 leaves this matter in question

[183] M”A 548:5 in name of Maharam Melublin 107; P”M 548 A”A 5; Gilyon Maharsha 393 and 399 [See there for the opinion of the Kneses Hagedola]

[184] The reason: As the Aveilus has not yet begun and it is thus not proper to begin it during the festival. [ibid]

[185] Michaber 393:3 regarding Shabbos Shiva; Nitei Gavriel 119:28 that the same applies here

[186] Yosef Ometz p. 330; Nitei Gavriel 112:21

[187] Admur 128:55; M”A 128:64; Shaar Ephraim 52; Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 399:2; See Nitei Gavriel 119:15

[188] The reason: Although he does not yet begin Aveilus, nevertheless, he is forbidden in joy throughout all the days of the festival. [Admur ibid]

Custom in Eretz Yisrael: Some write that in Eretz Yisrael the Kohen is to perform Nesias Kapayim, being it is prior to the start of the Shiva. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 128:87; See Ketzos Hashulchan 23:25]

[189] M”A O.C. 548:8; Implication of Maharil Semachos; Gilyon Maharsha 341; Tefila Lemoshe, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341 in accordance to the opinion of Rama in 341:5; Kitzur SHU”A 219:1; Se Nitei Gavriel 119:13 erev yom tov

[190] Chacham Tzevi 100, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:5; Elya Raba 548:3; Degul Merivava 548; Bigdei Yesha, brought in M”B 548:21, regarding Onen and M”B 548:16 regarding after burial; Daas Eish 7, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:1; Chochmas Adam 169:2; Aruch Hashulchan 399:3; Darkei Hachaim 24:8

[191] The reason: As there is a Biblical command of Simcha on Yom Tov, and it thus overrides the Rabbinical prohibition of learning Torah which is due to Simcha. [Eish Daas ibid]

[192] M”A 548:5; See Chapter 19 Halacha 15A

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that if the Shiva will begin only after the Yom Tov, then one may read the Parsha of the Yom Tov, even though there is no obligation of Shnayim Mikra. [Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:2]

[193] Nitei Gavriel 122:9 in name of Sdei Chemed and Leiv Chaim

[194] M”A O.C. 548:8; Gilyon Maharsha 341; Simchas Hanefesh, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341 in accordance to the opinion of Rama in 341:5; M”B 548:16; Kaf Hachaim 548:17; Nitei Gavriel 119:13; However, according to Eish Daas ibid, it is permitted for him to get an Aliyah, as explains Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid

[195] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 669:6

[196] Eish Daas 7, brought in Y.D. Pischeiy Teshuvos 399:1; See Nitei Gavriel Sukkos 101:5

[197] See M”B 548:16

[198] M”A 548:5; See Nitei Gavriel 82:24

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that he does not wear Tefillin the day of burial. [Shvus Yaakov 2:25, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 399:3 and Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:4]

[199] M”B 131:20; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 131:63

Ruling of Admur: Tzaruch Iyun from Admur 472:5 in name of Chok Yaakov 480:2 that implies Hallel is not recited in the Shiva home even on Yom Tov and Shabbos unless it is a Hallel of Chova [Sukkos/Chanukah/First days of Pesach]. This implies that on Rosh Chodesh he does not say Hallel even when it falls on Shabbos.

[200] Gesher Hachaim p. 162; Nitei Gavriel ibid; Pnei Baruch 10:29

[201] Rashal 389; Derisha 389; Nitei Gavriel 119:16

[202] Michaber 399:1

[203] Michaber 399:2

[204] The reason: As since the mourner has already abstained from doing work throughout the seven days of the Holiday, due to it being Chol Hamoed, it is considered as if he already mourned and abstained from work on behalf of the Shiva, and hence we are not stringent upon him to forbid other people from doing work on his behalf, as we rule regularly. Now, although the reason for his abstinence from work had nothing to do with the mourning, but rather due to the holiday, nonetheless, since at the end of the day he did not do work, therefore we are lenient. [Michaber ibid]

[205] Michaber O.C. 548:6; Y.D. 399:2

[206] At first the Michaber ibid writes death but later clarifies himself to mean burial

[207] The reason: As since the mourner has already abstained from doing work throughout the seven days of the Holiday, due to it being Chol Hamoed, it is considered as if he already mourned and abstained from work on behalf of the Shiva, and hence we are not stringent upon him to forbid other people from doing work on his behalf, as we rule regularly. Now, although the reason for his abstinence from work had nothing to do with the mourning, but rather due to the holiday, nonetheless, since at the end of the day he did not do work, therefore we are lenient. [Michaber ibid]

[208] Elya Raba 548:6; Chochmas Adam 169:2; M”B 548:24; Kaf Hachaim 548:31; Nitei Gavriel 119:22

[209] Birkeiy Yosef 38:3 and Y.D. 388:2; Machazik Bracha 388:2; Elya Raba 38:3; Shalmei Tzibur; Chesed Lealafim 38:3; Beis Lechem Yehuda Y.D. 388; Gilyon Maharsha 388; Ben Ish Chaiy Chayeh Sara 12; M”B 38:16; Kitzur SHU”A 211:2; Kaf Hachaim 38:18

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule he may not wear Tefillin on the first day of mourning even if the relative was buried during Chol Hamoed. [Kneses Hagedola Y.D. 388, brought in Gilyon Maharsha ibid and Kaf Hachaim ibid; Shvus Yaakov 2:25, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 399:3]

Buried on Yom Tov: If the burial took place on the last day of Yom Tov, the Avel may wear Tefillin on Isru Chag. [Elya Raba 38:3, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 388]

[210] The reason: As although this is the first day of mourning, nevertheless the sadness of the mourners have dissipated being that they were comforted during Chol Hamoed. [ibid]

[211] See Nitei Gavriel 120

[212] See Nitei Gavriel 120:1-2

[213] Rama 581:1

[214] Mateh Ephraim 581:22; P”M in A”A 585 [end]

[215] Nehar Shalom 581:3; Kaf Hachaim 581:32 based on Pischeiy Teshuvah Yoreh Deah 393:3 ; See also Michaber:Rama 393:3; Chayeh Adam 167:3; Kitzur SH”A 214:2; Gesher Hachaim 21:6; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 112:7 which bring Poskim that allow going to Shul in order not to miss saying Kaddish, or hearing Kedusha. However other Poskim there argue that one may not go to Shul.

[216] Kneses Hagedola brought in Kaf Hachaim 581:35; See next footnote

[217] M”A 581:5; M”E 581:22; Kaf Hachaim 581:35. However in those areas that they do not increase in Selichos on these days then the Avel may not go to Shul. [ibid] See Admur 604:4 regarding Selichos on Erev Yom Kippur that some places lengthen in Selichos while others shorten the Selichos. Hence the ruling regarding Erev Yom Kippur would depend on the community. To note that the Chabad custom is not to recite any Selichos at all during Aseres Yimei Teshuvah and hence an Avel may not go to Shul on Erev Yom Kippur.

[218] Rama 581:1

The reason: As the lengthy Selichos is viewed with much importance in eyes of the public and if one were to miss it will cause him pain. For this reason they were lenient for the Avel. [Machatzis Hashekel 581:5]

[219] Mateh Ephraim 581:22

[220] M”E 581:22; Kaf Hachaim 581:35

[221] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 581:5

[222] Alef Hamagen 581:44; See P”M 131 M”Z 9

[223] Mahariy Asad 353

The reason: As one only omits the confession prayer within the regular set prayer of Shacharis or Mincha and not by the extra prayer of Selichos. [ibid]

[224] Alef Hamagen 581:44

[225] Mahariy Asad 353; Alef Hamagen 581:44; Piskeiy Teshuvos 581:5; See Taz 131:9; Yoreh Deah 384

Regarding Selichos of a Taanis Tzibur: Some Poskim rule Avel does not recite Selichos. [Ketzos Hashulchan ibid footnote 28 in name of Divrei Nechemia; Piskeiy Teshuvos 131:25] However from the Mahraiy Asad ibid it is implied that he recites Selichos.

[226] The reason: As these days are days of judgment and it is thus improper to arouse extra judgment during mourning. [ibid]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the Avel is to recite Selichos and Viduiy [P”M 131 M”Z 9 based on Levush; See Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 147]

[227] This refers to a person that is within 12 months of mourning for his father or mother [M”A 581:4], and a person that is within 30 days of mourning for other close relatives. [M”B 581:7; Kaf Hachaim 581:33]

What is the law during the 13th month of a leap year? If the year one’s parents passed away is a leap year then, nevertheless after 12 months the son may Daven for the Amud on Yom Tov even though it is still prior to the first Yahrzeit. [P”M 660 M”Z 2; Piskeiy Teshuvos 581 footnote 81]

[228] M”A 581:4 [in name of Maharil 136; Darkei Moshe; Meil Tzedaka; Hagahos Maimanis]; M”B 581:7; M”E 581:23; Kitzur SH”A 128:8; Kaf Hachaim 581:33

The reason: As the attribute of severity hovers over the Avel for the entire period of his Aveilus. [M”E 581:23;]

If there is no other Chazan available: If the only available Chazan is an Avel then he may be Chazan on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur. [M”B 581:7] This applies even if the Avel is within Shiva. [Gilyon Maharsha 376:14; Piskeiy Teshuvos 6581:13-as the Yom Tov nullifies the Shiva.]

If there is no other Chazan that is as proper as the Avel: The above law likewise applies if there is no other Chazan that is as proper, or as pious, or that contains as sweet of a voice as the Avel, in which case he may be Chazan even on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. [M”E 581:24-25; Kitzur SHU”A 128:8] This applies even if there is mere doubt as to whether the congregation will be pleased with a different Chazan. [M”E ibid]

[229] Gesher Hachaim 23:4-1

[230] Piskeiy Teshuvos 581 footnote 84 that the Poskim did not differentiate in this matter.

[231] M”E ibid; Kitzur SH”A ibid; Alef Hamagen 581:47

[232] The reason for this is because these Poskim are lenient to say that the festival nullifies the Shloshim also regarding prayer within 30 days. [ibid]

[233] Igros Kodesh 7:363 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 3:94]; See M”E 581:25 that rules if the Avel is the set Chazan for a number of years and needs the money for his Parnasa and is liked by the congregation then he may be Chazan.

Other Opinions: It is implied from Kitzur SH”A ibid and M”E 581:24 that the above allowance only applies to one that is within Shloshim of other relatives and not one that is within the year of Aveilus. However the M”E in 581:25 extends the Heter also to an Avel within his year of Aveilus, although with a few conditions as stated above.

[234] Based on directive of Rebbe and Rebbe Rayatz in Igros Kodesh ibid that a certain Chazan of 25 years was in Aveilus and he was told by the Rebbe to continue being Chazan.

[235] Elya Raba 582 [end]; M”B 581:7; Kitzur SHU”A 128:8; Kaf Hachaim 581:33; See Bach Yoreh Deah 384 that only mentions Shabbos; Yom Tov and Rosh Chodesh regarding the days an Avel avoids Davening for the Amud.

[236] This refers to any Avel, whether he is within Shloshim or within the year of his parents. [See M”E ibid]

[237] M”E 581:23

The reason: As the attribute of severity hovers over an Avel and it is thus not fitting to have him be the messenger of the public during these days that require G-d’s mercy. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 581 footnote 93] Others explain the reason is because the Rama rules that the person who leads the Selichos is to lead the prayers of the rest of the day. [Teshuros Shaiy 531] Accordingly today that this is no longer accustomed the Avel is to Daven for the Amud even according to this custom.

[238] M”E ibid; See previous footnote for reason.

[239] Noda Beyehuda 32; He writes that the public mistakenly compared these days to the days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur which are Holidays, and this is incorrect.

[240] Igros Kodesh 2:324; 8:236; 11:3 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:303]; Sefer Haminhagim p. 178 [English]

[241] Kitzur SHU”A 128:8; M”E 581:23; Piskeiy Teshuvos 581:14

[242] Piskeiy Teshuvos 581:13

[243] As the Yom Tov nullifies the Shiva.

[244] Kitzur SHU”A 128:8; M”E 585:7; Elya Raba and Hagahos Chasam Sofer 581 in name of Dvar Shmuel 85; Kaf Hachaim 585:23; 589:4

[245] Dvar Shmuel 85; Kaf Hachaim 589:4

[246] Igros Kodesh 7:363 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 3:94] A certain Chazan of 25 years was in Aveilus and he was told by the Rebbe to continue being the Baal Tokeia.

[247] Dvar Shmuel 86; M”E ibid; Kaf Hachaim 589:4

[248] SSH”K 65 footnote 122 in name of Rav SZ”A as otherwise it would be public Aveilus; See also the following Poskim which allow an Avel to recite Shehechiyanu by Megillah reading of Purim: Teshuvah Meahava 2:286; Mishmeres Shalom ibid; Gesher Hachaim 23:4; Beis Yitzchak Yoreh Deah 2:158; Minchas Elazar 2:32; See Nitei Gavriel 37:4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 692:6

[249] Mishneh Halachos 10:70; Piskeiy Teshuvos 581:13

[250] As the Makri does not actually say the words according to the Chabad custom.

[251] See Nitei Gavriel 121

[252] Nitei Gavriel 121:8

[253] See Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 13

[254] Nitei Gavriel 121:4

[255] Darkei Moshe 384:3 in name of Kol Bo 114; Nitei Gavriel 121:10

[256] Mavor Yabok Ater Haketores 1; Nitei Gavriel ibid

[257] Admur 606:14; Rama 606:4; Maharil Semachos p. 605; Leket Yosher p. 96; Kitzur SHU”A 131:6; Nitei Gavriel 121:6

[258] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[259] Admur ibid; See M”A 606:10; See Toras Menachem 41:49 and Igros Kodesh 29:9, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:283

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it may be done after midday. [See M”A ibid in name of Levush; Leket Yosher ibid]

[260] M”A 606:10; Aruch Hashulchan 548:8; See however Rebbe in next footnote

[261] This ruling of M”A ibid was omitted from Admur ibid, Vetzaruch Iyun; See also Toras Menachem 41:49 and Igros Kodesh 29:9, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:283. Vetzaruch Iyun if the Rebbe in that Sicha was coming to also negate this point as well [and thus in truth one must immerse very close to dark and not within 1-2 hours beforehand], as clearly the M”A concludes that one may immerse within 1-2 hours beforehand, and only negates the aspect of immersing before Mincha, however, Admur ibid omits even this point. Practically, that year [Erev Yom Kippur during Shiva of the passing of his mother], the Rebbe Davened Mincha at 4:00 and went to Mikveh at 6:00.

[262] M”A ibid in name of Bach 606; Nitei Gavriel ibid in name of Rav Yoel Teitelbaum, in answer to question from Rebbe

[263] Implication of M”A ibid and Admur ibid

[264] See Toras Menachem 41:49 and Igros Kodesh 29:9, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:283

[265] Nitei Gavriel 121:9 and Vol. 2 35:2; based on Maharil regarding Erev Shabbos

[266] Admur 610:9; 472:4; Taz 610:3; Mateh Ephraim 610:11; Derech Hachaim; Chayeh Adam 144:16; Kitzur SHU”A 131:15; M”B 610:18; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 35:1; However, see Igros Moshe 5:61 that the custom is not to do so.

[267] Admur 472:4 regarding Pesach Seder

[268] Darkei Hachaim 2:33

[269] Bikureiy Yaakov 640:19; brought in M”B 640:31; Kaf Hachaim 640:49

[270] Possibility offered in P”M 640 A”A 10 that only Sheiv Veal Taaseh is exempt, brought in M”B ibid; Darkei Hachaim 2:3

[271] See Nitei Gavriel 32:4

[272] See Nitei Gavriel 32 footnote 10

[273] See Nitei Gavriel 32:8

[274] Das Eish 7, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:1; SS”K 65:37; See M”B 548:16; Nitei Gavriel 32:10

[275] Admur 640:13

[276] Nitei Gavriel 123:2

[277] Nitei Gavriel 123:2

[278] Nitei Gavriel 123:1

[279] Rama 660:2 that so is the custom; Kol Bo; Sefer Haminhagim p. 179 [English]; Shulchan Menachem 5:312; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 660:4; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 35:3-7 footnote 4 that so directed the Rebbe Rayatz to the Rebbe not to do Hakafos

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule an Avel may perform the Hakafos by Hoshanos. [Beis Yosef 660; Siddur Yaavetz; Chayeh Adam 148:19; Kaf Hachaim 660:17 according to Arizal; Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 660:4 and Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 35:3] The Rebbe Rashab performed Hakafos of Hoshanos when he was in Aveilus, however, this custom belongs only to a Nasi, and not to the Chassidim. [Sefer Haminhagim ibid]

[280] The reason: As the Hakafos is an act of joy that is done Zecher Lamikdash and it is hence unbefitting for the mourner to participate. [See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 5 for the reasons behind this custom]

[281] Rama ibid

Between burial and start of Aveilus: Some Poskim rule that an Avel who buried the relative during Chol Hamoed and will not begin Shiva until Motzei Simchas Torah, may perform Hakafos during Hoshanos. [Bikureiy Yaakov 660:9] Other Poskim, however, rule he is not to do the Hakafos. [Moed Lekol Chaiy 23:123] See Nitei Gavriel 35:6 footnote 11

Leap year: After the passing of 12 months in a leap year, it is permitted for the Avel to join the Hakafos for Hoshanos. [P”M 660 M”Z 2; Bikurei Yaakov 660:10; Teshuvah Meahavah 2:285; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 35:5]

Rav of community: Some Poskim rule that the Rav of a community may perform the Hakafos. [Aruch Hashulchan 660:4; Nitei Gavriel 35:7]

[282] Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 660:4; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 35:3

[283] Diggul Merivava 660; Teshuvah Meahavah 2:285; Kaf Hachaim 660:19; Misgeres Hashulchan 137:11; Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 660:4 and Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 6

[284] Elya Raba 660:8, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 660:1; Bikurei Yaakov 660:10

[285] Gesher Hachaim 23:3-7 [p. 212]

[286] Chol Hamoed Kehilchaso Hosafos 12:42 in name of Rav Wozner

[287] Nitei Gavriel 30:2 in name of Peri Hadama 1:13

[288] Machazik Bracha 664 Kuntrus Acharon; Shalmei Tzibur p. 188; Shaareiy Teshuvah 644; Nitei Gavriel Unlike Leiv Chaim 102

[289] See Minchas Yitzchak 6:62; Nitei Gavriel Sukkos 101:1-3; Aveilus 2 30:5-7; Piskeiy Teshuvos 669:6

[290] Levushei Mordechai 4:136; Yalkut Hagershuni 660; Chelkas Yaakov 3:75

[291] Moed Lekol Chaiy 20:39; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 669:33

[292] Sefer Haminhagim p. 78; Sefer Hasichos 1944:30; Hayom Yom 2; Shulchan Menachem 5:312; Otzer Minhagei Chabad 20; See Nitei Gavriel 122:7; Sukkos 101; Aveilus 30:5

[293] So I have seen done

[294] Harav Leibel Groner in a written correspondence

[295] Nitei Gavriel ibid; Vetzaruch Iyun as there could be many other reasons for why he does not wish to participate.

[296] Eish Daas 7, brought in Y.D. Pischeiy Teshuvos 399:1; See Nitei Gavriel Sukkos 101:5; Aveilus 122:10; Piskeiy Teshuvos 669:6

[297] See M”B 548:16

[298] See Beir Heiytiv 669:1; Devar Shmuel 72; Nitei Gavriel 122:8

[299] M”B 670:12

[300] M”B ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is questionable whether an Onen is obligated in lighting candles, and hence if no one is available to light in his stead, he is to light without a blessing. [Erech Hashulchan 670:3; Kaf Hachaim 670:20; So brings also M”B ibid in name of P”M]  

[301] Elya Raba 670:19; Erech Hashulchan 670:3; M”B ibid; Kaf Hachaim ibid; P”M 670 M”Z 4; Gesher Hachaim p. 171:16; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 33:1

[302] See Derech Hachaim; Piskeiy Teshuvos 676:1 footnote 2

[303] Admur 71:1 “And he is exempt from all blessing, even from answering Amen, and it is Rabbinically forbidden for him to be stringent upon himself in this”; Michaber Y.D. 341:1 regarding all blessings; Maharam Shick Y.D. 342 that this law applies likewise towards Chanukah candles.

[304] Elya Raba 670:19; Kerem Shlomo Y.D. 342; Kaf Hachaim 670:20; Piskeiy Teshuvos 676:1; M”B 670:12 mentions a dispute in this matter, and does not give a final arbitration.

The reason: As this is a Mitzvah of Persumei Nissa.

[305] Erech Hashulchan 670:3; P”M 670 M”Z 4; Derech Hachaim; M”B ibid; Kaf Hachaim 670:20

[306] Shut Magidos 2:163

[307] The reason: As the main institution of lighting candles is from sunset until a half hour after nightfall. Past this time, the lighting is a mere act of Tashlumin. [P”M ibid; See Ravaya 972; Admur 71:1]

[308] Michaber 670:3; Rava Moed Katan 27

[309] See Admur 429:8 [based on Rambam Yom Tov 6:22 and Avel 11:5] that the definition of “present” is “prior to the burial”, and implies that even if the body is not present, a eulogy may be given prior to the burial. So is also implied from Michaber Y.D. 401:5 who equates even a Shemua Rechoka to Befanav!

[310] Rama 420:2 regarding Erev Shabbos after midday, and the same would apply to Erev Rosh Chodesh being Tachanun is omitted starting from midday; P”M 420 A”A 1 that so is custom of Prague and other cities; Maareh Kohen Y.D. 401:2

[311] Shach Y.D. 401:2; Beir Heiytiv 401:1; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 52:15

[312] Rama 420 regarding Rosh Chodesh, and the same applies on Chanukah [Rama 670:3]; Taz in 420; Yad Ephraim; M”B 670:12

[313] M”B 670:12; Peri Megadim

[314] Michaber 401:4; Kaf Hachaim 670:19; See Nitei Gavriel 123:2

[315] Nitei Gavriel 84:9 in name of Siddur Beis Oved regarding Chanukah

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is to serve the regular foods even on Chanukah and Purim. [Sdei Chemed 101; Chaim Bayad 125:23]

[316] Elya Raba 670:19; M”B 670:12; Kaf Hachaim 670:20

[317] Nitei Gavriel 123:3

[318] Taz 671:8; Maharam Mintz 43; P”M 671 M”Z 8; Machazik Bracha 671:9; Chayeh Adam 154:17; Derech Hachaim 4; M”B 671:44; Shaareiy Teshuvah 671:7; Kaf Hachaim 671:73; See also regarding Megillah: M”B 692:1; Derech Hachaim 2; Kaf Hachaim 692:7

Other opinions: Some Poskim permit the Avel to recite Shehechiyanu even by a public lighting. [Olas Shmuel 106 that he has not seen the world be careful in this matter; Teshuvah Meahava 2:286; Mishmeres Shalom ibid; Gesher Hachaim 23:4; Beis Yitzchak Yoreh Deah 2:158; Minchas Elazar 2:32; See Nitei Gavriel 37:4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 692:6]

[319] 696:4-7; Yoreh Deah 401:7; Nitei Gavriel 123

[320] 696:7

[321] Michaber ibid

[322] Orchos Chaim; The reason the Michaber writes this law in the name of “some opinions” is because he did not find this ruling in other Poskim, and it is not due to the fact he does not hold of their ruling. [Kaf Hachaim 696:39]

[323] The reason: As a positive command for an individual to mourn does not push off a positive command of the public to rejoice on Purim which is a command of the Sages and is equivalent to a Biblical command. [Michaber ibid; M”A 548:13; Mamar Mordechai 696:3; See Nehar Shalom 696:4; Kaf Hachaim 696:44]

[324] Kaf Hachaim 696:39

[325] M”A 696:15; Elya Raba 696:10; M”B 696:24; Kaf Hachaim 696:42 and 46

[326] Shaar Hatziyon 696:28; There he negates the understanding from the Derech Hachaim that the Onen may eat meat and drink wine even on the 15th. He establishes this to be referring to the 15th in Jerusalem.

[327] Rama ibid

[328] The Rama establishes this ruling to only refer to the night of Purim. However, by the day of Purim one is obligated to first bury the corpse and only afterwards may he read the Megillah, in which case he will no longer be an Onen by the time the Megillah is read. Hence according to the Rama, an Onen is only to read the Megillah at night, as by day he is to first bury the body and end his Aninus before the reading.

Other Opinions: The M”A 696:14 questions this ruling of the Rama to require the Onen to Daven based on the fact he may eat meat and drink wine, as the two matters are completely irrelevant of each other. The M”A concludes with a Tzaruch Iyun.

[329] M”A 696:14; M”B 696:25; Derech Hachaim 2; Kaf Hachaim 696:46

[330] Conclusion of Kaf Hachaim ibid despite implication from M”B ibid that one is not to Daven; Chayeh Adam 135:38 rules like Rama that one is to Daven and so rules Derech Hachaim in the laws of Onen.

Other Opinions: The M”A 696:14 questions whether one is to Daven at night. Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11 concludes one is not to Daven.

[331] Rama ibid; Vetzaruch Iyun as back then they never buried at night, however in today’s times perhaps if the Chevra Kadisha is willing to bury at night then the burial is to take place before the reading.

[332] Rama 696:7; Michaber and Rama 687:2

[333] M”A 687:4; 696:16; M”B 696:26

Background:

The Michaber 687:2 rules that all Mitzvos are delayed in order to read the Megillah. However this is with exception to the burial of a corpse [Meis Mitzvah] which precedes the reading of Megillah. The Rama ibid establishes this law to refer to a case that one is able to both bury the corpse and read the Megillah afterwards, while it is still Purim. The M”A ibid however argues that the above law only applies by a Meis Mitzvah, a corpse that does not have anyone to bury him, however by a regular corpse, the Megillah reading precedes. So rules Shiltei Giborim; Bach, and so is implied from Or Zarua. The M”A 696:16 concludes that so is the custom.

[334] M”A ibid; M”B ibid

Other Opinions: The Elya Raba 696:11 rules that the Onen is to delay fulfilling his Mitzvah of Megillah reading until after the burial.

[335] Chayeh Adam brought in Shaar Hatziyon 696:30; Upashut as even the M”A [see next footnote] concludes that according to the second opinion in 71:1 one fulfills his obligation beforehand.

[336] M”A 696:16; M”B 696:26; Kaf Hachaim 696:47

Background:

The M”A ibid questions that seemingly only the non-mourners should be allowed to precede the Megillah reading to the burial, however the mourners themselves are considered an Onen and hence are exempt from all Mitzvos including Megillah reading. Hence how can they fulfill their obligation with the reading of the Megillah prior to the burial? The M”A ibid hence concludes that although the custom is for the Onen to attend the Megillah reading in Shul, he nevertheless is to repeat the reading, without a blessing, after the burial. Nevertheless, he also concludes that according to the second opinion in 71:1, one does fulfill his obligation with the Shul’s reading.

[337] M”A 696:16; M”B 696:26; Admur 71:1; Elya Raba 696:11; Chayeh Adam 154:38; Derech Hachaim 1

The law if the burial is being taken care of by others: If the burial is being taken care of by others some rule that the Onen may Daven and read Shema. [M”A ibid] Practically the custom is like the opinion that holds an Onen may not do so, even if he is in another city. [71:1; Michaber Yoreh Deah 341; Shach 341:5] However see Shulchan Menachem 5:267 that the Rebbe followed the dissenting opinion and ended his Aninus as soon as he knew the burial was no longer under his responsibility. This occurred twice by the death of his brother and Mother. Practically the accepted ruling amongst Rabbanim is that if the mourner does not plan to attend the funeral, such as if it is taking place in a different country, and the burial is being taken care of by others, then he is to begin his Aveilus immediately.

[338] Kaf Hachaim 696:47 based on second opinion in 71:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11; Now although there Admur concludes that the custom is to be stringent, nevertheless since from the Rama here it is implied that there is no Aninus on Purim in such a case, therefore one may be lenient. [See Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 56] In any event the Rebbe [brought in previous footnote] was accustomed like the second opinion in 71:1.

[339] M”A 696:16; M”B 696:26; Derech Hachaim 1; Chayeh Adam 154:38; Kaf Hachaim 696:47; Admur 38:5; Kitzur SH”A 141:23; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11; See Nitei Gavriel 123:19 footnote 27

[340] Elya Raba 696:11 brought in P”M 696 A”A 16, Shaar Hatziyon 696:32; Mishmeres Shalom 80 [if he passed away before Purim]

[341] Shulchan Menachem 5:271

[342] Panim Meiros 1:100; Moed Lekol Chai 31:34; Maharash Engel 6:10; Kaf Hachaim 696:49; Michaber Yoreh Deah 402:12; Although the Rama ibid rules to tell the sons in order so they can say Kaddish, nevertheless regarding Purim which contains a dispute if Aveilus applies the above Poskim rule one is to follow the Michaber.

[343] See Gilyon Maharsha 402 that seemingly this applies even prior to the burial. Vetzaruch Iyun. However certainly if there is no one that is taking care of the burial it is an obligation to tell the son in order so he begin to deal with it.

[344] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11

[345] According to the Rama there is no Aninus on Purim in a case that the burial will not take place that day. [Aruch Hashulchan 696:11] Hence even if there is no one available to take care of the body, if the burial will not take place on Purim he is obligated in Megillah and Davening. However, according to the M”A ibid he is considered an Onen until after the burial, and hence is only exempt if there are others which are taking care of the corpse.

[346] M”A 696:16 as brought in Kaf Hachaim 696:47; M”B 696:26; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

Other Opinions: Elya Raba 696:11 rules one is to put on Tefillin on Purim even in such a case.

[347] Matzeivas Moshe 1; Mishmeres Shalom Onen 40; Gesher Hachaim 18; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 54

[348] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11

[349] The reason for this is because the entire reason the Onen may hear Megillah on Purim is because he is allowed to eat meat and wine, as stated in the Michaber. However, since on Friday he is not able to eat meat and wine, being there is no Seuda obligation on Friday of Purim Meshulash, therefore he is also exempt from Davening and Megillah.

[350] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11 in name of Purim Hameshulash

[351] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 61:12

[352] See Chapter 14 Halacha 2B!

[353] Rama 696:4

Opinion of Michaber: The Michaber ibid however rules the mourning customs fully apply on Purim. The Rama brings a dissenting opinion and rules that so is the custom.

[354] Michaber 696:4 [contradicting his ruling in Yoreh Deah 401:7]; Bach; Rashal; Perisha; Maharil brought in M”A 696:7

[355] Rama ibid; Michaber Yoreh Deah 401:7 [contradicting his ruling above]

[356] The law regarding those who do not celebrate on the 15th: Some Poskim rule that those who celebrate on the 14th and are not particular to also celebrate on the 15th, as is required to be done on Shushan Purim [see Rama 695:1], must keep all mourning customs on the 15th, as they cannot grab the leniencies of both not celebrating and not keeping Aveilus. This is particularly pertinent to Ashkenazi Lithuanian Jewry who are not particular to also celebrate on the 15th, as opposed to the Chassidim which celebrate also on the 15th at times even more than the 14th. [Nemukei Orach Chaim 696:1; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:693] Thus we find Poskim that did keep the laws of Aveilus on the 15th. [The Chochmas Adam as he testifies in Kuntrus Matzeivas Moshe, unlike his ruling in 169:27] Nevertheless, despite the above, the widespread custom is not to keep the laws of public Aveilus on the 15th. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:5]

[357] Rama and Michaber ibid; Thus, one may not have marital relations, bathe or learn Torah. [Yoreh Deah 400:1]

Ruling of Arizal: In Peri Eitz Chaim Purim it is written that even private mourning customs are not to be kept on Purim, however see Nemukei Orach Chaim 696:2 who explains this to be a printing error.

[358] Rama ibid; M”A 696:7; Shaareiy Teshuvah 696:6; Shulchan Gavoa 696:16; Olas Shabbos 696:3; Levush; Kisei Eliyahu 696:2; Birkeiy Yosef 696:10; Beis David 497

[359] Kisei Eliyahu 696:2; Birkeiy Yosef 696:10; Beis David 497; Yalkut Yosef 341

[360] Rama ibid

[361] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 23 in name of Rav SZ”A. However there he brings opinions that argue.

[362] M”A 696:7; M”B 696:12; Derech Hachaim; Elya Raba; Shaar Hatziyon 696:11

The M”A ibid writes that one is to be stringent regarding all matters of Aveilus with exception to the above matters, and it is forbidden to participate in all forms of Simcha. So rules also Chayeh Adam 154:36; Kaf Hachaim 696:25. However the M”B 696:12 simply records that one is especially not to be stringent in the above matters and does not record a requirement to be stringent in other matters. Likewise he does not record a prohibition to participate in forms of Simcha and rather that simply one is to reduce the amount of Simcha he has. This follows the ruling of the Elya Raba and Derech Hachaim which argue on the wording of the M”A ibid. [Shaar Hatziyon 696:11]

[363] There is however a discrepancy that on Shabbos one may go to Shul while on Purim one is not to leave to Shul unless he needs to hear Megillah as will be explained next.

[364] Rama 696:4; Michaber Yoreh Deah 401:7

[365] M”A 696:9; M”B 696:14

[366] Shvus Yaakov 3:100; Kerem Shlomo 696; Mishmeres Shalom Shin 5; Nitei Gavriel 123:5

[367] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:5 footnote 28; Purim Hameshulash 8:20

[368] There he brings that Rav SZ”A; Rav Fisher and other Rabbanei Yerushalayim rule there is no public Aveilus on Sunday. Rav Elyashiv and Rav Aba Shaul [Or Letziyon 1:49] rule there is public Aveilus on Sunday

[369] On the one hand it is a Mitzvah to drink on Purim. On the other hand, the Poskim ibid rule that one is to reduce in matters of Simcha during Aveilus. Perhaps in such an instance one is to fulfill the ruling of the Rama 695:2 that one is to drink a little more than usual and go to sleep to fulfill this Mitzvah.

[370] Marsham 696:7; Tzur Yaakov 140; Moed Lekol Chai 31:32; Kaf Hachaim 696:50; Shearim Hametzuyanim Behalacha 141:15; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:6

[371] The reason: As otherwise it is considered public mourning. [ibid]

[372] Nitei Gavriel 123:21

[373] Rama 696:4; Machazik Bracha 690 Kuntrus Acharon 1; Beis Yehuda 1:107; Kaf Hachaim 690:116

Ruling of the Michaber: The Michaber 696:5 rules the Avel is not to leave his house to hear Megillah. The M”A 696:6 understands this to argue on the opinion of the Rama ibid. However, the Poskim conclude that in truth there is no dispute and the Michaber is referring to a case that there is a Minyan available in one’s home. Hence if one does not have a Minyan in his house to hear Megillah then even according to the Michaber he is to go to Shul. [Elya Raba 696:6; Nehar Shalom 696:3; M”B 696:10; Kaf Hachaim 696:23]  

[374] Rama ibid; Michaber 696:5 as explained in Elya Raba 696:6; Nehar Shalom 696:3; M”B 696:10; Kaf Hachaim 696:23

[375] Rama ibid; In such a case it is best for the Minyan to hear the Megillah in Shul and then come to the Avel’s house to have him hear Megillah with a Minyan. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 40]

[376] Peri Megadim; M”B 696:15; See Machazik Bracha 690 Kuntrus Acharon 1; Beis Yehuda 1:107; Kaf Hachaim 690:116 which imply that this applies even for the night reading.

The reason: In order to fulfill the Mitzvah of Pirsumei Nissa. [Beis Yehuda ibid] As the above ruling of the Rama that one is to gather a Minyan at home was in accordance to the ruling of the Michaber that holds one is to keep Aveilus on Purim. However according to the Rama himself that holds Aveilus is not kept on Purim one may go to Shul to hear Megillah even if he has Minyan available at home. [M”B ibid]

[377] Hagahos Chochmas Shlomo 696

[378] Tur; Levush; Taz 696:2; Chayeh Adam 154:36; P”M 696 A”A 10; M”B 696:11; Kaf Hachaim 696:24

The reason: As requiring him to stay at home for Minyan is not considered an act of public mourning as there could me many reasons for him not coming to the Minyan. [Taz ibid]

Other Opinions: Some rule that if one does not have a Minyan available at home and is going to Shul to hear Megillah, then he may likewise go to Shul for Maariv. [Kaf Hachaim 696:31; Rav Fisher brought in Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:9]

[379] M”A 696:8; implication of Tur; Chayeh Adam 154:36; Derech Hachaim 2; Peri Megadim 696 A”A 8; M”B 696:13; Kaf Hachaim 696:28; 696:31; Michaber Yoreh Deah 393:3 [allows going to Shul on any day of Torah reading]; Mamar Mordechai 696:3

[380] Michaber 696:5 in name of Rokeiach

[381] M”A 696:10; M”B 696:15; Kaf Hachaim 696:30. [The M”B and Kaf Hachaim ibid limit the above ruling of the M”A to a case that he does not have a Minyan available in his house.]

[382] Kerem Shlomo 376; Nitei Gavriel 123:9

[383] M”B 696:16 in name of P”M and as is implied from all the Poskim ibid that discuss whether he may even leave his house for Minyan and Megillah reading.

[384] M”B 696:16 in name of Derech Hachaim

[385] This refers to any person that is within his period of Aveilus; within 12 months for a parent; within 30 days for other relatives.

[386] Michaber O.C. 696:6; Yoreh Deah 401:7; See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 35:8-11

[387] Tur in name of Maharam of Rothenberg and so rules other Poskim. [Beir Hagoleh 20] Rosh in Moed Katan. [Shulchan Gavoa 696:18] There are no opinions that argue on this ruling. Nevertheless, since this ruling has not been brought in other Poskim therefore the Michaber writes it here as “there are opinions that rule”. In Yoreh Deah ibid the Michaber plainly rules like this opinion and omits the introduction of “some opinions state”. [Kaf Hachaim 696:32]

[388] Michaber ibid

[389] Michaber Yoreh Deah 401:7; Kaf Hachaim 696:32

[390] Michaber Yoreh Deah ibid; M”B 696:17; Olas Shabbos 696:4; Mateh Moshe 1017; Chayeh Adam 155:37; Derech Hachaim 3

The reason: As an Avel is obligated in all the Mitzvos in the Torah. [ibid]

Other Opinions: There are Poskim who rule an Avel within Shiva is exempt from the Mitzvah of Mishloach Manos. He is rather to wait until the Shiva has ended and then give the gifts to one of his relatives or to a pauper. [Shiltei Giborim in name of Raz brought in Olas Shabbos ibid] Practically we rule like the majority of Poskim that he is obligated to send Mishloach Manos even during Shiva. [Kaf Hachaim 696:33]

[391] M”A 696:11; Maharil; Sefer Chassidim 713; Mateh Moshe ibid; Chayeh Adam 155:37; Derech Hachaim 3; M”B 696:18; Kaf Hachaim 696:33

Sending money: Many of the above Poskim bring down that the mourner, which is not to send festive foods as Mishloach Manos, is to rather send meat or money. [Mateh Moshe 1017; Sefer Chassidim 713 brought in M”A 696:11; M”B 696:18] Vetzaruch Iyun as we rule that one does not fulfill his obligation of Mishloach Manos with money. [See Terumas Hadeshen 111; Taz 695:4; Elya Raba 695:9; M”B 695:20; Kaf Hachaim 695:35]

[392] Rama 696:6

[393] Foods not of Simcha: This includes even foods that are not matters of pleasure but rather basic necessities. [Mateh Moshe 1018; M”A 696:11; Elya Raba 696:8; Chayeh Adam 154:37; M”B 696:19; Kaf Hachaim 695:3]

The reason: As one is forbidden to give Shalom to a mourner. [M”B 696:20]

Must one protest those that send Mishloach Manos to Aveilim? Some Poskim rule one is not obligated to warn the givers that they may not send Mishloach Manos to an Avel. [Zecher Simcha 79] However the Rebbe publicized that people should not send him Mishloach Manos when he was in his year of Aveilus. [Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2:35 footnote 19]

[394] M”B 696:20; Kaf Hachaim 696:36

[395] The reason: As one is forbidden to give Shalom to a mourner within the first 12 months. [M”B 696:20]

Other Opinions: Those who are accustomed to permit asking Shalom to an Avel during his 12 months [see Yoreh Deah 385] are permitted to send Mishloach Manos to an Avel on Purim within the 12 months. [M”A 696:12; M”B 696:21; P”M 696 A”A 12; Misgeres Hashulchan 141:7; Shevach Hamoadim 14:3; Sepharadi custom recorded in Yalkut Yosef Aveilus 23 p. 421] However, foods of Simcha are not to be sent. [Derech Hachaim; M”B ibid] Within the Shloshim, Mishloach Manos cannot be sent according to all. [ibid] Practically see previous footnote that the Rebbe publicized that people should not send him Mishloach Manos when he was in his year of Aveilus. [Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2:35 footnote 19]

[396] Mishneh Berurah 696:20

[397] As one cannot give someone a present against his will. [Biur Hagr”a; M”B 696:22]

[398] Ksav Sofer 141; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:10

[399] M”A 696:11; Elya Raba 696:8; Chayeh Adam 154:37; Derech Hachaim; M”B 696:19; Kaf Hachaim 695:35

[400] Derech Hachaim; M”B 696:19; Kaf Hachaim 695:35

[401] Elya Raba ibid

[402] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:10

[403] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:10

[404] Divrei Malkiel 237; Piskeiy Teshuvah 149; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:10

[405] Sheivet Hakehasi 4:188; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:10

[406] P”M 696 A”A 11; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 42

[407] See Rama Yoreh Deah 391:2; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:7; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 31:5; Purim 78:13

[408] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:7

[409] Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; Vetzaruch Iyun as from where he received this difference between an Avel over a parent or other relative if in Rama 391:2 all Aveilim are included in the prohibition!

[410] Igros Moshe 3:161; See Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 31:5; Purim 78:13

[411] Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid in name of Minchas Yitzchak; and the practical directive of Rabbanim.

The reason: As if he does not attend it will appear like public mourning. Vetzaruch Iyun as according to this it should be permitted to attend even if music is played. [See Nimukei Orach Chaim 696:3]

[412] Igros Moshe 3:161

[413] Rama 391:2; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2 31:4

[414] Nimukei Orach Chaim 696:1

[415] Zekan Aaron 214; Ikrei Hadaat 36:22; Kaf Hachaim 696:26; Pischeiy Teshuvah 696:4; See Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 31:8

[416] Nitei Gavriel 77:14

[417] Binyan Olam 35; M”B 696:12; Pischeiy Teshuvah 696; Kaf Hachaim 696:27; Mishmeres Shalom 50:3

[418] Kaf Hachaim 692:7; So rules also Maharil 22; Ikrei Daat 30:27; Mishmeres Shalom 50:3 and so is implied from above Poskim ibid

[419] Mishmeres Shalom ibid; Machaneh Chaim 2:1; Kaf Hachaim 581:33; See M”E 581:24-25; Kitzur SHU”A 128:8; Alef Hamagen 581:47; Igros Kodesh 7:363 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 3:94]

[420] Kaf Hachaim 692:6; There is no prohibition for an Avel to recite the blessing of Shehechiyanu. [M”A 551:42]

[421] M”B 692:1; Derech Hachaim 2; Kaf Hachaim 692:7; See regarding Chanukah: M”B 671:44; Shaareiy Teshuvah 671:7

The reason: As an Avel is not to say the blessing of Shehechiyanu on behalf of others. [ibid]

Other Poskim: Many Poskim permit the Avel to recite Shehechiyanu even by a public reading. [Teshuvah Meahava 2:286; Mishmeres Shalom ibid; Gesher Hachaim 23:4; Beis Yitzchak Yoreh Deah 2:158; Minchas Elazar 2:32; See Nitei Gavriel 37:4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 692:6]

[422] Sefer Haminhagim [English] p. 161 regarding Chanukah and the same would apply to Purim

[423] Shut Maharil 22; Mahram Mintz 43; Elya Raba 582:22; Biur Halacha 132; Minchas Elazar 2:32; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:8. On Purim Hameshulash they likewise do not Daven for the Amud on Friday or Sunday. [Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid]

[424] See Nitei Gavriel 124

[425] Beis Yehuda, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6; See Peri Megadim in Pesicha Koheles 2:28, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7, that an Onen is exempt from the Mitzvah of Tashbisu and Baal Yeraeh.

[426] Teshuvah Meahava, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6; See Nitei Gavriel 35:1

[427] Peri Megadim in Pesicha Koleles 2:28, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7

[428] Chomos Yerushalayim 267, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7

[429] See Nitei Gavriel 35:2-3

[430] Nitei Gavriel 35:4

[431] M”A 548:8 in name of Maharam 73; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 35:7 footnote 13

[432] Maharam ibid; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 35:7 footnote 14

[433] P”M 480 M”Z 1; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 35:7 footnote 14

[434] Admur 472:4; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 35:9 footnote 20-21

[435] Noda Beyehuda O.C. 1:27, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6; Gilyon Maharsha

[436] See P”M 435 A”A 2; Nitei Gavriel 124:9-10

[437] See Halacha 10A regarding Purim; Nitei Gavriel 124 footnote 8

[438] Shulchan Menachem 5:271; See Chapter 18 Halacha 3!

[439] Elya Raba 468 and Beir Heiytiv 471:9 in name of Rashal; P”M 468 M”Z 7

[440] P”M ibid

[441] Beis Yosef 378 in name of Mordechai; M”B 471:22 and Shaar Hatziyon 471:26

[442] Shaar Hatziyon ibid; See Nitei Gavriel 124:8

[443] Rama 399:3 based on Mahariy Mintz 64 regarding customs of Shloshim and the same would apply regarding Shiva; Tashbeitz; Chochmas Adam 169:3; Daas Torah 399:3 in name of Or Zarua; Mishmeres Shalom Ayin 20; Shevet Halevi 6:173; Nitei Gavriel 124:13

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that even on Erev Pesach, the laws of Shiva apply close to sunset. [Shach 399:11 questions the ruling of Rama, and his understanding in the Mahariy Mintz ibid and concludes with a Tzaruch Iyun; See Birkeiy Yosef 399 based on Ritva; Kitzur SHU”A in Lechem Hapanim 220:4 in length negates the understanding of Chochmas Adam ibid in opinion of Rama; Divrei Yatziv 240 that the ruling of Rama is limited to Shloshim, however, regarding Shiva, he too agrees that it is kept until night] Nitei Gavriel ibid concludes that we are lenient by Aveilus like the first opinion

[444] The reason: As at midday we began slaughtering the Pesach sacrifice [Rama ibid] and it is hence considered like a Holiday to the point that we no longer do Melacha. [See Shach 399:12]

[445] The reason: As the laws of Shloshim still apply, and we only revoke it for the sake of Yom Tov if it is near Yom Tov, as stated above.

[446] When on Erev Pesach may/should one launder? The Michaber 399:5 and O.C. 548:10 rules that laundering should be done after midday of Erev Yom Tov, however, perhaps on Erev Pesach it can be done before midday, being that there is a prohibition of Melacha after midday and everyone knows that one is laundering before midday for the sake of the Yom Tov. Nonetheless, we would not apply the rule that it must be done before midday [due to the Issur Melacha and ruling of Rama ibid regarding Shloshim to get a haircut before midday] as by a haircut the reason is because other people are prohibited in giving haircuts, and not because the Avel cannot do this Melacha after midday, as explains Shach 399:12 in negation of Levush. Thus, here regarding laundering where this reason of a haircut does not apply, it would seem that there is no preference of before or after midday. Vetzaruch Iyun Lemaaseh, as doing laundry after midday breaks the Issur Melacha [even though here we can permit an Avel] but makes it more recognizable, while before midday avoids the Issur Melacha, but makes it less recognizable.

[447] Nitei Gavriel 124:11; 2 7:8 in name of Chaim Bayad 125:76; Sdei Chemed 64; Darkei Chaim 13:8

[448] Nitei Gavriel 124:1 based on Daas Kedoshim 389:1

[449] See Pnei Baruch 21:11; Piskeiy Teshuvos 470:10; Nitei Gavriel 124:6

[450] Yad Shaul 393:3

[451] The reason: As it is forbidden for an Avel to hear words of Torah during Shiva. [ibid]

[452] Peri Hasadeh 4:57; Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 52

[453] Leket Yosher 2:98; Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos footnote 53 that may go anytime; Mishmeres Shalom Samech 23 that may go after midday; Rav Fisher in end of Sefer Pnei Baruch

[454] See Admur 472:3-4; See Nitei Gavriel 124:18; Vol. 2 35:13

Wearing the Kittel by the Seder: The Kittel may be worn by the Seder by any stage Avel. [See Admur 472:4; Kaf Hachaim 472:30; Nitei Gavriel 35:12]

[455] Admur 472:4; Pesach Meubin 176; Chok Yaakov 472:5; See Taz 472:3; M”A 472:5; Bach 472; Elya Raba 472:3; Kneses Hagedola 472

[456] Admur 472:3; Pesach Meubin 176; Kneses Hagedola 472; Chok Yaakov 472:5; Siddur Yaavetz; P”M 472 M”Z 3; Divrei Menachem 35; Yeshuos Yaakov 472:2 and 5; Derech Hachaim; M”B 472:13; Misgeres Hashulchan 118:13; Kaf Hachaim 118:29; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 35:13

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that an Avel within Shloshim or 12 months for a parent is not to lean on the night of Pesach. [Bach 472, brought in Taz 472:3, M”A 472:5; Elya Raba 472:3;]

[457] Chok Yaakov ibid; P”M ibid; Derech Hachaim ibid; M”B ibid; Kaf Hachaim ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid

[458] Admur 472:5; Chok Yaakov 480:2; See Admur 131:5

[459] The reason: As this Hallel is an actual obligation. [Admur ibid]

[460] See Nitei Gavriel 124:19; Halacha 5C regarding learning Torah

[461] Nitei Gavriel Aveilus Vol. 2 6:1

[462] Machazik Bracha 493:3 in name of Zera Emes 67; Shaareiy Teshuvah 493:7; See Michaber 551:15 and Taz 551:14 regarding the three weeks that the Avel may get a haircut with a razor on the week of Tishe Beav and even with scissors until the week of Tishe Beav.

[463] Birkeiy Yosef 493 in name of Dvar Moshe 21; Ikarei Hadat 21:1; Beis David 277

[464] Kaf Hachaim 493:15 as he explains even the first opinion

[465] Nitei Gavriel ibid 2 in name of Divrei Sofrim 152

[466] Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 36:1 footnote 1

[467] M”B 559:24 in name of Elya Raba

[468] Admur 71:1 in parentheses; See Chapter 3 Halacha 8C for all the opinions on this subject! See Taz 71:2; Misgeres Hashulchan 341; The following Poskim agree to this ruling if the Chevra Kadisha has taken over the proceedings of the body: Beir Heiytiv 71:4; P”M 71 M”Z 2; Chochmas Adam 153:1; M”B 71:7

[469] The reason: As this honors one’s father. [ibid] This ruling of Admur is placed in parentheses possibly due to the other opinions mentioned above who argue. [Chikrei Halachos 5:50]

[470] Igros Kodesh 3:199; 4:107 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:294]; Custom of Rebbe brought in Nitei Gavriel 17:1 [p. 113] and Shulchan Menachem p. 265

[471] Shulchan Menachem ibid footnote 21

[472] Pashut; See Nitei Gavriel 55:19

[473] See Nitei Gavriel 125:5

[474] See Nitei Gavriel 125:7

[475] Shulchan Menachem 5:271; See Chapter 18 Halacha 3!

[476] 559:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 559:7; Nitei Gavriel 125:1

[477] Michaber ibid

[478] Ruach Chaim 559:2; Kaf Hachaim 559:56

[479] M”A 559:8; Elya Raba 559:18; Derech Hachaim 4; Kitzur SHU”A 124:4; M”B 559:24

The reason: Although in general an Avel may not leave his house within the first three days even to visit another Avel, nevertheless in this case it is different as on Tishe Beav everyone is an Avel. [M”A ibid; M”B ibid]

[480] Rabbeinu Yerucham brought in M”A ibid and M”B ibid

[481] Rav Shlomo Kluger, brought in M”B ibid

[482] So is the worldly custom. [Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid]

[483] Siddur Yaavetz

[484] Machazik Bracha 554; Beis Yehuda 2:82; Shaareiy Teshuvah O.C. 554:1; Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 384:1; Kitzur SHU”A 124:4; Nitei Gavriel 125:2

[485] Pnei Baruch 22:5 and Nitei Gavriel 125:4 in name of Maharil

[486] Michaber 551:15; Moed Katan 17; See Nitei Gavriel Aveilus Vol. 2 6:3-4

[487] M”A 551:18; Taz 551:14; Bach 551; Elya Raba 551:32; Chayeh Adam 133:20; Kitzur SHU”A 122:14

The reason: As the prohibition of getting a haircut during this period is merely due to custom. [Poskim ibid]

[488] Implication of Michaber ibid; Taz 551:14; Bach 551; Degul Merivava 551:4; Shaareiy Teshuvah 551:18

[489] Elya Raba 551:32 based on Rokeiach; Derech Hachaim; Chayeh Adam; Hagahos Rav Baruch Frankel; brought in M”B 551:87

[490] Conclusion of M”B in Shaar Hatziyon 551:93; Kaf Hachaim 551:82

[491] Michaber 551:15

[492] Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 36:1 footnote 1

[493] M”E 602:11; Otzer Minhagei Chabad p. 160 based on directive of Rebbe; Piskeiy Teshuvos 602:2

[494] Michaber 420:1 and Y.D. 401:5; Taz 420:1; M”A 420:1; Admur 429:8 regarding the month of Nissan; Chochmas Adam 169:25 [unlike Chayeh Adam 118:7]; Kaf Hachaim 420:1; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 52:3

[495] Michaber 420:1 and Y.D. 401:5; Poskim ibid; However see Gilyon Maharsha 344 in name of Dvar Shmuel that a Hesped may be given on Rosh Chodesh Av. See Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 4

Explanation of source: This law if learned from the law brought in Poskim ibid that women do not lament by funerals during these days. It is also learned from the Poskim in next Halacha who prohibit saying Tziduk Hadin on any day that Tachanun is omitted, and if Tziduk Hadin is omitted than certainly a Hesped may not be said. [See Taz ibid that a Hesped is more severe than Tziduk Hadin as Tziduk Hadin is “not a eulogy but recognition and acceptance of the Divine decree” and hence some opinions allow Tziduk Hadin; See also M”A 548:8 that one may not even say praise of the dead because this can lead to a eulogy.]

[496] Michaber Y.D. 401:5; See Admur ibid; Taz and M”A ibid; Chochmas Adam 169:25 [unlike Chayeh Adam 118:7]

[497] Kol Bo brought in Rama 401:6 regarding Tziduk Hadin, and the same would apply to a Hesped

[498] Rama 420:2 and Y.D. 401:6; Maharitz Geios; See Kaf Hachaim 420:2

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that Tziduk Hadin and Kaddish is recited on Rosh Chodesh being it is not considered a eulogy but merely a blessing to Hashem. [Michaber 420:2; Opinions in Tur 420; Talmidei Rashi; Rambam, brought in Taz ibid] Practically, each community is to follow their custom, and in a place where there is no set custom, it is better not to say it. [Kaf Hachaim ibid]

[499] Taz 420:1; M”A 420:1; See however Tur ibid who brings opinions that say it on behalf of a great Torah Sage.

[500] Rama ibid

[501] Michaber 401:4

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