Chapter 7: After birth laws & Customs

1. After birth blessings:

A. Boy-Hatov Vehameitiv-Saying the blessing of Hatov Vehameitiv upon the birth of a son:[1]

If one’s wife gave birth to a boy then both the husband and wife[2] are obligated to [immediately[3]] recite the blessing of “Hatov Vehameitiv[4].”[5] This applies for every birth of a newborn son, that each time a son is born, the blessing of Hatov Vehameitiv needs to be recited by both the father and mother.[6]

May the blessing be said prior to seeing the child:[7] This blessing may be said immediately upon hearing of the birth of one’s son, even prior to seeing him for the first time. Hence, if he is in another city and was told the news that his wife gave birth to a boy, then he is to say the blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv.[8] [Some Poskim[9] rule that in such a case, the blessing of Shehechiyanu is to then be recited upon seeing the child for the first time. Practically, however, the custom is not to do so.[10]]

If the mother passed away, heaven forbid:[11] If the mother died during childbirth R”L, then it is not proper to recite the blessing of Hatov Vehameitiv and rather one is to recite the blessing of Shehechiyanu.[12]

Repeating the blessing every 30 days:[13] If one did not see his/her son for 30 days from the time that he recited the blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv, then he needs to say the blessing of Shehechiyanu upon seeing his son if he receives pleasure and happiness from seeing him. This applies every 30 days that he has not seen his son, that the blessing of Shehechiyanu is to be recited.

Leniencies of not reciting the blessing: Some Poskim[14] rule that the blessing of Shehechiyanu [and Hatov Vehameitiv] is an optional blessing and not obligatory. Practically, many are accustomed to being lenient and not to say any blessing of praise [including the blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv, and so is the custom of some Ashkenazi[15] and Sephardic[16] communities]. Practically, this is a mistake, as the leniency only applies to the blessing of Shehechiyanu[17], and even by this blessing one is not to be lenient.[18]

Giving thanks to G-d prior to thanking the messenger:[19] Upon receiving news of the birth of a son or daughter, one is the first thank Hashem for the birth and only then thank the messenger for giving over the information.   Q&A May the mother say the blessing right after she gives birth?[20] Yes, so long as she is properly clean from the birth. [It is customary to wait several minutes after birth of the child and placenta, and then have her wash hands, prior to saying the blessing.[21]]   If a father/mother did not say the blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv right away upon seeing the child, until when may it be said?[22] Initially, the blessing is to be said as soon as one hears of the birth.[23] If the blessing was not said immediately upon hearing of the birth, it may be said in the coming days, so long as the extra feelings of joy still remain in the heart.[24] Some Poskim[25], however, limit this to within three days after birth. Furthermore, some Poskim[26], suggest that the blessing may only be said so long as one did not yet remove his mind from the news of the birth. However, as soon as his mind begins to entertain other matters, then he may no longer say the blessing. Practically, if there is no longer any extra feelings of joy in one’s heart, then he is to say the blessing without Hashem’s name.[27]   May a grandparent recite a blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv upon hearing of the birth of a grandchild?[28] Some Poskim[29] rule that a blessing may be recited, just as is the law by a father or mother. Other Poskim[30], however, rule that a blessing is not to be said, and so is the final ruling.[31]   May a friend recite a blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv upon hearing of the birth of a friends child?[32] This follows the same dispute as above.   How many blessings are to be said after the birth of twins?[33] Twin boys: If one hears of the birth of both sons at the same time, then a single blessing is said on behalf of them both. If, however, one said the blessing prior to hearing of the birth of the second son, then the blessing is to be repeated after hearing of the birth of the second son. Boy and girl:[34] If one hears of the birth of both the son and daughter at the same time, then a single blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv is said on behalf of them both.   Should the blessing be said standing or sitting?[35] Some write that it is proper for the blessing to be recited in a standing position as is the rule with all blessings of praise, [although if it is difficult to stand, then it may be recited in a sitting position].   Bowing to Hashem upon saying the blessing:[36] Some write that one is to bow towards the east [or towards whatever direction one usually Davens from his area of the world[37]] upon saying the blessing. [This matter was omitted from Admur and practically, the widespread custom is not to be particular to do so.[38]]   May the blessing be recited on Shabbos?[39] Yes, the blessing may be recited whether on Shabbos or weekday and hence if one heard of the birth on Shabbos then the blessing is recited on Shabbos.   If one said the blessing of Shehechiyanu upon the birth of a boy, may he still say the blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv?[40] No.

B. Girl-Shehechiyanu-Saying the blessing of Shehechiyanu upon the birth of a daughter:[41]

The father and mother[42] of a newborn baby girl are required to say the blessing of Shehechiyanu upon seeing their newborn daughter and receiving pleasure and happiness from seeing her.[43] However, [prior to seeing the daughter] the blessing is not to be said, even if he has already received the news that a daughter was born to him.[44] [Thus, the blessing of Shehechiyanu is to be said the first time that one sees his or her newborn daughter. The father is not to say the blessing immediately upon hearing of the birth, but only after he enters the room and sees his daughter. The mother may delay saying the blessing until she is properly clothed and cleaned.] This applies for every birth of a newborn daughter, that each time a daughter is born, and one receives pleasure and joy from seeing her, that the blessing of Shehechiyanu needs to be recited.[45] Furthermore, if one did not see his/her daughter for 30 days, then he is to say the blessing of Shehechiyanu upon seeing her if he receives pleasure and happiness from seeing her.[46]

Leniencies of not reciting the blessing: Some Poskim[47] rule that the above blessing of Shehechiyanu is an optional blessing and not obligatory. Thus, many are accustomed to being lenient and not to say the blessing.[48] Practically, one is not to be lenient in this matter.[49]

Q&A If a father/mother did not say the blessing of Shehechiyanu right away upon seeing the child, until when may it be said?[50] If the blessing was not said upon seeing the daughter for the first time, it may be said in the coming days, so long as the extra feelings of joy still remain in the heart.[51] Some Poskim[52], however, limit this to within three days after birth. Furthermore, some Poskim[53], suggest that the blessing may only be said so long as one did not yet remove his mind from the news of the birth. However, as soon as his mind begins to entertain other matters, then he may no longer say the blessing. May a grandparent recite a blessing of Shehechiyanu upon hearing of the birth of a grandchild?[54] Some Poskim[55] rule that a blessing may be recited, just as is the law by a father or mother. Other Poskim[56], however, rule that a blessing is not to be said, and so is the final ruling.   May a friend recite a blessing of Shehechiyanu upon hearing of the birth of a friends child?[57] This follows the same dispute as above. How many blessings are to be said after the birth of twins?[58] Twin girls: If one hears of the birth of both daughters at the same time, then a single blessing is said on behalf of them both. If, however, one said the blessing prior to hearing of the birth of the second daughter, then the blessing is to be repeated after hearing of the birth of the second daughter. Boy and girl:[59] If one hears of the birth of both the son and daughter at the same time, then a single blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv is said on behalf of them both. If one accidentally said the blessing upon seeing the wrong baby, may the blessing be repeated upon seeing his true daughter?[60] Yes.

The Chabad custom: Some people have the notion that it is not the Chabad custom to recite the blessing of Shehechiynu upon the birth of a girl. Obviously, it is the Chabad custom to follow the rulings of the Shulchan Aruch, and certainly that of Admur Hazakein, unless there is an explicit and substantiated record from Rabboseinu Nessieinu, or the elderly Chassidim and Ziknei Rabbanei Anash who state otherwise. Chabad customs are not substantiated by simply taking surveys of what majority of people who affiliate with Chabad are accustomed to practice, and certainly not by hearsay, and certainly not to negate a ruling of Admur Hazakein and the Shulchan Aruch. The above ruling of reciting the blessing of Shehechiynu upon the birth of a girl is not just recorded by Admur Hazakein, but he is actually the first one to explicitly record it, and hence reciting this blessing by the birth of a girl has a unique Chabad connection. This ruling of Admur is likewise recorded in the Sefer Ketzos Hashulchan and Shevach Habris [both venerable and distinguished Chabad Rabbanim and authors of Halachic literature], without making any mention of a Chabad distinction of custom. Practically, upon inquiring from various Chabad Rabbanim on this issue, the consensus of the vast majority of Rabbanim is that the blessing is to be said, and there is no recorded Chabad tradition otherwise.[61] Summary: There is no substantiated records that the Chabad custom is not to recite a blessing of Shehechiyanu upon the birth of a girl, and hence the blessing is to be recited. Nonetheless, those who are accustomed not to recite it, are included in the worldly custom brought and defended by the Rama to no longer say Shehechiyanu on these occasions, even though Admur concludes to be stringent, as stated above.

C. Hagomel-Must a woman recite Hagomel after birth:[62]

Women are obligated to say the blessing of Hagomel just like men. Accordingly, every woman after birth should say the blessing of Hagomel after she recovers from her birth.[63] [Practically, while this is the custom amongst Sephardim[64], the custom today amongst the vast majority of Ashkenazi communities[65] is for women to no longer say the blessing of Hagomel at any time, including after birth.[66] Regarding the Chabad custom, some families and Rabbanim[67] are of the opinion that the blessing should be said, while other families and Rabbanim[68] are of the opinion that the blessing should not be said. As for the Rebbe’s opinion, there exist conflicting evidence as to his opinion on this matter.[69] Whatever the case, indeed, the widespread custom in Chabad follows that of the world for women not to say Hagomel after birth, or any other occasion.]

How and where to say the blessing:[70] She should say the blessing in the Ezras Nashim of the synagogue and have 10 men who are inside the main sanctuary listen to the blessing. [In the Jerusalem area, the custom is to make a Minyan for Maariv in the house of the Yoledes, and have her say the blessing of Hagomel on this occasion.[71] If she cannot get a Minyan of 10 men to say the blessing in their presence, then it is disputed amongst the Poskim[72] as to whether she may say the blessing in private or with ten women and one man. Practically, she is to say the blessing without G-d’s name.[73]]

How long after birth must the Yoledes wait to say the blessing? A woman after birth is considered similar to a sick person for a period of 30 days from birth.[74] This would imply the blessing should not be said until 30 days after birth. However, some Poskim[75] rule that the blessing may be said starting from seven days after birth.

2. Shemira for a Yoledes:[76]

A Yoledes needs to be guarded from Mazikin [and hence is not to be left alone or go outside alone in the marketplace[77]]. [This especially applies after having a boy.[78] It suffices to have a neighbor come and check on the mother in her home every now and then in order to negate this danger.[79] Some write that even a child can suffice as a Shomer, if the child has reached the age of Torah education.[80] Two women after birth can serve as a Shomrim for each other. However, a gentile nurse is not valid for Shemira.[81]]

For how long: Some Poskim[82] rule that she requires guarding for a full 30 days after birth. Other Poskim[83] rule that she only requires guarding for seven days after birth.

Answering Kedusha for Minyan:[84] Some write that if the woman goes to a Shul to answer Amen and Kedusha, or has a Minyan take place in her home in which she will answer to the above, then it helps alleviate the need for Shemira from that time and on.

3. The custom for a woman after birth to not leave their home for four weeks:[85]

It is an age-old Jewish custom for women who are after birth to not leave their home for a period of four weeks from after the birth.[86] [Practically, the widespread custom today is to no longer be particular in the above, and women leave their homes as close to a week after birth.[87] Certainly, a woman may leave her home to got to the doctor, Beit Hachlamah, even within seven days.]

4. The custom for a woman after birth to go to a Shul prior to leaving their home for other purposes:[88]

1. The original custom:

It is an age-old Jewish custom for women who are after birth to not leave their home for a period of four weeks from the birth[89], and to then enter a Shul [as their first destination prior to going anywhere else[90]].[91] They visit the shul even if they are still a Nidah.[92] The husband of the woman would receive an Aliyah to the Torah on this occasion[93], and the woman would answer to Kaddish, Barchu, and Kedusha, and recite the blessing of Hagomel[94] [for those accustomed to do so, as explained in Halacha 1C].

The reasons: There are several reasons behind the various parts of this custom:

• A woman after birth is weak, and hence she would remain at home and rest for the first four weeks.[95]
• A woman after birth requires Shemira, similar to a Chasan[96], and hence they would avoid leaving their house for a full month after birth, until the Shemira period expires. Going to a Shul as the first destination would help alleviate the need for Shemira from that time and on.[97]
• She is required to recite Hagomel, giving thanks to Hashem for surviving her birth experience.[98] Hence, her first destination after birth is to a Shul for her to recite Kaddish and Kedusha and recite Hagomel to give thanks to G-d.[99]
• A woman who gave birth needs to bring a Karban. Today, during exile, the above practice was instituted in the place of the Karban, through her husband receiving an Aliyah to the Torah upon her return to the outside.[100]
• In order for a woman to begin her new phase with a matter of holiness, she goes first to a Shul to participate in a matter of Kedusha, such as answering Barchu, Amein Yihei Shmei Raba and the like.[101]

  The custom today:

Practically, the widespread custom today is to no longer be particular in the above, and women leave their homes as close to a week after birth[102], and are not particular to first go to a Shul, recite Hagomel, and have their husbands receive an Aliyah.[103] Nevertheless, some sects of Jewry are particular in this even today.[104] Others arrange for a Minyan to take place in the house of the Yoledes, which then allows her to leave the home without restriction.[105]

The Chabad custom:[106] There exists a tradition from the Rabbeim to be particular in the above original custom, and for a woman to make a Shul her first destination after birth, prior to leaving to anywhere else, in order to begin her new after birth phase with a matter of holiness.

 

Chiyuv for Aliyah-The custom for a husband to get an Aliyah after birth:

Shabbos before Bris:[107] The father of a newborn male child is considered a Chiyuv on the Shabbos before the Mila [or Shabbos of the Mila, if he has not yet received an Aliyah after the birth[108]].

Wife coming to Shul:[109] The father of a newborn son or daughter, or even a stillborn, is considered a Chiyuv on the first Shabbos that his wife comes to Shul after birth.[110] If she has not yet come to Shul, then on the 40th day for a boy, and 80th day for a girl, he is considered a Chiyuv. One’s whose wife has a miscarriage of a recognizable fetus, is also considered a Chiyuv.[111] [The above Chiyuv applied only in previous times when it was customary for the wife to not leave the house until she is healthy, in which case her first stop would be to the Shul. However today, this custom of having the wife make her first visit after birth be to a Shul is no longer practiced, and hence this Chiyuv is no longer relevant.[112]]

Naming daughter:[113] The father is to get an Aliyah on the day of the naming of his daughter. Some Poskim[114] learn that he is considered a Chiyuv. Other Poskim[115], however, learn that he is not considered a Chiyuv, although the custom is to give him an Aliyah.

6. Mi Shebeirach for Yoledes and naming of daughter:[116]

It is customary to bless a Yoledes with a Mi Shebeirach at the time of the naming of a daughter, and when the father of the son receives an Aliyah.

The Nussach: A separate Nussach of Mi Shebeirach is recited for the birth of a son versus the birth of a daughter. The exact change of wording can be found in the Siddur. The Chabad custom is to bless also by a daughter with the words “Legadla Letorah Ulechupa Ulimaasim Tovim.”[117]

Name of mother versus father: One is to state the name of the mother of the Yoledes upon reciting the Mi Shebeirach for a Yoledes [i.e. Shayna Bas Rivka]. However, when saying the name of the daughter, one states her name and the name of the father [who received the Aliyah].

7. Making a Kiddush in shul upon having a daughter:[118]

It is customary for the husband to sponsor and arrange for a Kiddush to take place in his Shul on Shabbos in celebration of the birth of a daughter in order to give thanks to G-d for the birth. The blessings that the participants of the Kiddush wish upon the father on behalf of his daughter, for her physical and spiritual health and success, are able affect the future of that child.[119]

8. Candle lighting on Erev Shabbos after birth:[120]

A. Husband lighting Shabbos candles the Shabbos after birth:[121]

Wife is home: It is an old and ancient custom for the husband to light the Shabbos candles and say the blessing on the first Shabbos after birth.[122] [This applies even if the wife has already come home, nevertheless, the husband lights the Shabbos candles on the first Shabbos after birth. Practically, it is no longer customary for the husband to light the Shabbos candles on the first Shabbos after birth if his wife is already home. Rather, his wife is to light the candles as usual.[123] If necessary, then the candles are to be brought to her bed for her to light.[124]

Wife is not home:[125] If the wife has yet to return home, then the husband is to light the Shabbos candles with a blessing[126] as is the law throughout the year whenever one’s wife is away from home.[127] When the husband lights the candles, he should light two candles, and is not required to light the same amount as his wife.[128] [If there are other members of the house that will be lighting anyways, such as daughters, then from the letter of the law the husband does not need to light candles if his daughters are already above the age of Bas Mitzvah.[129] Nonetheless, he should do so anyways and light candles in addition to his daughter, especially if they are below Bas Mitzvah.[130] In such a case he should preferably light the candles that rest on the table. Whenever the wife is away from home and both she and her husband will be each lighting candles in their respective areas, then they are both to intend to not fulfill the others obligation with their lighting.[131]]

B. Wife lighting candles in the hospital:

How many candles to light:[132] When lighting candles outside of one’s home, such as in the hospital, one is to light only two candles and is not required to light the number of candles that they usually light at home.

If cant light a flame in the hospital:[133] If the hospital in which the wife is staying does not allow her to light candles, then she is to turn on an electric light[134] [or turn it off and then on if already on] by the regular candle lighting time, preferably turning on a bulb with a filament [rather than fluorescent or LED lamps]. Nonetheless, a blessing may not be recited, and while there are some who are lenient[135], Safek Brachos Lihakel, and therefore no blessing is to be said. This certainly applies in Israel where the electricity is generated by Jews, and hence there is no room to be lenient to say a blessing over the electricity.

C. Adding an additional candle after each birth:[136]

The widespread Ashkenazi custom is for a woman to light an additional Shabbos candle upon the birth of each child. Hence, for example, when she has her first child she now begins to light three candles. This is done in order to shine the Mazal of her child.[137]

9. Laws relevant to the newborn:

A. Making your child’s room into a Mikdash Me’at:[138]

Even today, every Jew is obligated to make for himself a dwelling place for G-d within his home. This obligation is relevant even for children, and even for a newborn baby. It can be accomplished by placing inside the babies room a book of Chumash, a Siddur, and a charity box. These books should be personally purchased on behalf of the child and be considered as his. To sanctify the room, one should try to study some amount daily from the child’s Chumash, and to pray or say blessing from the child’s Siddur, and to give charity in his charity box.

B. Learning Torah near child:[139]

Hearing words of Torah has a great impact on the soul of the child from the moment that he is born. After the mother of Rebbe Yehoshua Ben Chanania gave birth to him, she permanently placed his crib in the hall of study to him for him to only hear words of Torah, and for this reason she had a very holy child who was a great Torah scholar. Accordingly, one should study Torah near his child in order so his ears hear words of Torah.

C. Pesukim in the home of the Yoledes:[140]

After the birth of a boy[141], prior to the circumcision, it is customary to have children visit the home of the Yoledes and recite various verses of Scripture. This is customarily done each night, and especially on the night prior to the circumcision. The children are to recite while present the verses of Kerias Shema, Hamalach Hagoel, the 12 Pesukim and statements of the sages. The children are given refreshments or treats for the occasion.

D. Letter in Sefer Torah:[142]

One is to purchase a letter in the Torah scroll that is written specifically on behalf of children on behalf of each of his children.[143] It can be purchased from the moment the child is born. The price of each letter is one dollar. The child is to be sent a certificate of his purchase by the committee. The certificate should contain the name of the child as well as the weekly portion that his letter was purchased in.

E. Kissing the Mezuzah before sleep:[144]

Prior to retiring to one’s bed for the night one is to touch [and kiss] the Mezuzah.[145] Thus, it is customary in all Jewish homes for children to kiss the Mezuzah of their room prior to going to sleep. This internalizes the idea that Hashem watches and guards over them. [Doing so enters Kedusha into the child from a young age and assists him in his service of G-d in the future.[146]]

F. Lullabies:[147]

Immoral or improper lyrics: One is to greatly beware that even an infant does not listen to forbidden gentile music [i.e. songs that contain immoral or improper lyrics,] as it will have a negative effect on his character.[148] The child’s soul understands the words and internalizes them, hence having an effect on him when he is older.[149] Certainly, the mother or other caretaker is not to sing forbidden songs, as these words of song create an evil spirit which then resides on the child.[150]

Gentile, but proper, lyrics: The above prohibition only applies towards songs that contain immoral or improper lyrics, and does not negate the singing of gentile melodies used as lullabies. Nevertheless, the Poskim[151] conclude that one is not to sing any gentile lullabies to infants and is rather to sing lullabies that contain words of Torah and holiness, such as Torah Is Der Besta Sechora, and Kamataz Alef Ah and the like.[152] One is to sing ethical songs dealing with the garden of Eden, or the future judgment in front of G-d.[153]

G. Modeh Ani-Saying Modeh Ani with infant:[154]

It is the custom of righteous women to recite Modeh Ani on behalf of, and together with, their baby even prior to him learning how to speak.[155] Even those who don’t do so, are nonetheless accustomed to teach the child to say Modeh Ani starting from when the child learns how to speak.[156] Certainly, from age 3 and onwards every parent is to make sure that their child says Modeh Ani upon awakening.[157]

 

H. Washing hands in the morning:[158]

It is customary not to be careful to wash the hands of children upon awakening, until they reach the age of Chinuch.[159] [However once the child has reached the age of Chinuch one must be careful to educate them to wash hands after awakening in the morning.[160]] (Furthermore, one who is careful to wash their hands from the day of the child’s circumcision and onwards is doing an act of holiness[161].)[162] [Practically, the Poskim[163] rule that one is to beware to wash a child’s hands in the morning. This applies even if the child is of a very young age such as a nursing baby.[164] Doing so is a good Segula that one’s children grow up with purity and holiness.[165] The Rebbe Rashab[166] wrote that one is to be careful to begin washing a child’s hand starting from when the child is no longer in diapers. The Rebbe[167] stated that one is to be careful in washing hands starting at the very least from age three.]

Q&A

What is the age of Chinuch regarding the obligation to wash hands?[168]

As already stated, it is best to wash the hands of children even before they reach the age of Chinuch. Once the child has reached the age of Chinuch he must be educated to wash hands in the morning.[169] The age of Chinuch in this regard is from when the child begins to understand the concept of washing hands to remove impurity. Every child is different in this regard.

Must children be careful in the pre-washing restrictions prior to washing?[170]

Until the age of Chinuch[171] they do not have to be careful to follow the pre-washing restrictions. [The age of Chinuch in this regard is seemingly from the time they need to begin washing as explained above.[172]] Nevertheless, one who is careful to avoid letting them touch food until they wash is doing an act of holiness.

 

Should girls have their hands washed prior to the age of Chinuch just like was said by boys?[173]

Seemingly, it is proper to begin washing the hands of girls from the time the name is given. There is room to learn that it is proper to begin washing their hands even beforehand, starting from the day of birth.

Summary: Until the child reaches the age of education there is no obligation to wash the child’s hands, although one who does so starting from the day of the Bris, is doing a holy act. Once the child has reached the age of Chinuch he must wash his hands. [The Rebbe Rashab wrote one is to be careful to wash the hands of the child starting from when the child is out of diapers. The Rebbe stated that one is to be careful in this starting at the very least from age three.]

Sparks of Kabala Washing the hands of one’s children even of nursing age is a Segula that they grow up with purity and holiness.[174]

I. Washing Neigal Vaaser for baby before nursing:[175]

Unlike the morning washing that takes place upon awakening from sleep, there is no source for being particular to washing the baby’s hands each time prior to nursing, and on the contrary, one should not be particular to do so. [The rumors existing regarding such a practice being followed by the Rebbe’s mother with regards to the Rebbe, are not fully accurate. While indeed the Rebbe’s mother washed the Rebbe’s hands upon him awakening from sleep in order to nurse, she did not do so prior to him nursing every time.[176] The washing was related to the rebbe’s sleep, and not to the Rebbe’s nursing.]

1. Fighting and quarreling in the home of a newborn:[177]

Quarrelling and fighting in the home of a woman after birth causes a danger to the newborn child.

1. Crossdressing-Correct Gender corresponding garments for a newborn:[178]

One must beware to garb a newborn starting from the moment of birth with gender correct clothing. If one wraps a male newborn with female clothing upon birth, then he may end up being promiscuous. So too, vice a versa, if one wraps a female newborn with male clothing upon birth then she may end up becoming a prostitute.

1. Guarding the newborn from lightning and thunder:[179]

If a child is born with a skin membrane covering his head, then he needs to be guarded from lightning and thunder.

M. Non-Kosher animals:[180]

One is to be careful not to show the newborn child any non-Kosher imagery, such as impure, Non-Kosher, animals.[181] Accordingly upon giving or purchasing a toy for a child, it should not be in the shape or figure of a non-Kosher animal, bird, fish etc, but is rather to be of only a pure species. Likewise, when the child gets older and is taught the alphabet using the figure of animals, he is to only be taught using pictures of pure species. The one exception to this is regarding pictures of figures that are written about in Tanach, in which the children may be shown the impure species described in Scripture in order to understand the material. Likewise, the above does not negate those synagogues which are accustomed to have paintings and inscriptions of various animal such as a lion and the like, being that the purpose of this is for a spiritual message.[182]

1. Quieting a laughing baby:[183]

A person who sees a baby laughing in the middle of sleep, is to use this finger to flick at his nose [and quiet him down], as this is a sign that Lilis is playing with the child. The same applies when the baby begins laughing on his own while awake without any instigation. This especially applies on the night of Rosh Chodesh.

1. Metal:[184]

It is considered a danger for a baby to place metal into their mouth.

1. Segulos for preventing crib death:

Not to nurse the child:[185] A woman of whom it has been established by doctors that her milk is poisonous and is damaging to her child, then she is not a nurse her child and is rather to hire a wetnurse. [Indeed, there was once a woman who came to a Tzadik and Rebbe crying before him that both of her sons were born mute, and he told her that she should stop nursing her children as it is her milk which is causing this to happen.[186]]

To move to a different country:[187] A person who has had a few of his children pass away, is to move to a different country, as it could be that the country causes the death.

To sell the child:[188] A person who has had a few of his children pass away, is to sell his child to his friend for a small amount of money or food. This is done by the father being given money or food from an individual and in exchange the individual is considered to have purchased the child.

Naming after the deceased child:[189] The following Segula was given by the famous Gaon of Vilna to his daughter who had a child pass away shortly after birth. He instructed that the child that is born after the child that passed away should be named after him, with another additional name, preceding the newer name to the name of the sibling. For example, if the name of the child who died was Reuven, then the next child should be called Shimon Reuven. Indeed, the daughter of the Gaon of Vilna had a son named Dovber who passed away, and based on the advice of her father named her second son Zalman Ber, and he lived a full life. This tradition has been followed by many and their other children have lived.

Garbing the child in a pure linen garment:[190] A father who has had a number of children pass away due to Lilith or the evil spirit is to garb his newborn child with only linen garments. If the linen garment has even a single threat of another material, then it is not to be used.

10. Bein Hametzarim-Tishe Beav related laws:

A. Bathing during the nine days:[191]

It is permitted for a woman after birth to bathe during the nine days in even hot water, if necessary for the purpose of lessening her pain.[192] [Practically, she may take a hot shower if she is within seven days after birth. Past this time, however, she may only do so if she received instructions from a doctor. [193]]

B. Sitting on chair on Tishe Beav:[194]

A woman after birth may sit on a chair on Tishe Beav if it is difficult for her to sit on the floor.[195]

C. Wearing leather shoes on Tishe Beav:[196]

A woman who is within thirty days of giving birth may wear leather shoes.[197] [This however only applied back then when only leather shoes were able to provide warmth, however today that there are many shoes of other material in most of the modern world, it is forbidden to wear leather shoes on Tishe Beav even in such a case.[198]]

D. Wishing Mazal Tov on Tishe Beav:[199]

One may wish a Yoledes, or her relatives, Mazal Tov even on Tishe Beav.

 

E. Mi Shebeirach for Yoledes on Tishe Beav:[200]

One may say a Mi Shebeirach for a Yoledes/woman who is after birth even on Tishe Beav.

When: The Mi Shebeirach is to be said by Mincha, and not by Shacharis.

F. Fasting on Tishe Beav:[201]

A woman within 30 days of childbirth is not required to fast.[202] Nevertheless, the custom is to fast unless she is experiencing great pain, in which case there is worry of danger.[203] Nonetheless, a woman may choose to be lenient against this custom and not fast within thirty days of birth even if she is not in pain.[204] [Practically, in today’s times all women within thirty days of birth are to be taught not to fast.[205] However, some Poskim[206] rule that a woman who is after seven days, and feels healthy, is to fast. Accordingly, such a woman is to contact a Rav for a final ruling. Certainly, if she is within seven days of birth, and even more so if she is within three days of birth, it is forbidden for her to fast.[207]]

Tishe Beav Nidcheh:[208] A Yoledes within 30 days is not to fast on Tishe Beav Nidche even according to the stringent opinion mentioned above.

11. Yom Kippur related laws:

A. Wearing leather shoes on Yom Kippur:[209]

A woman who is within thirty days of giving birth may wear leather shoes on Yom Kippur.[210] [This however only applied back then when only leather shoes were able to provide warmth, however today that there are many shoes of other material in most of the modern world, it is forbidden to wear leather shoes on Yom Kippur even in such a case.[211]]

B. Bathing on Yom Kippur:[212]

It is permitted for a woman who is a few days after birth to bathe in even hot water on Yom Kippur for the purpose of lessening her pain [although being careful not to transgress the cooking prohibition by opening the hot water valve].

 

12. Fasting on Yom Kippur:[213]

A. Within three days after birth:[214] 

A woman who is within three weekdays[215] of giving birth [i.e. Yoledes], is not to fast at all on Yom Kippur.

Says she wants to fast: If the Yoledes who is within three weekdays says she is able to fast and does not want to eat, she is to be fed even against her will. However, in such a case, she should only be fed less than the measurement of eating that has the penalty of Kareis, as explained above.

She says she needs to eat:[216] If the Yoledes who is within three weekdays says that she needs to eat, then she is to be given food in front of her and told to eat from it until she feels the danger has subsided. If less than the measurement suffices, so be it. If not, then she is to eat as much as she needs.

Does not voice an opinion:[217] If the Yoledes who is within three weekdays does not voice an opinion regarding whether she needs to eat, then she is to be given less than Shiur Kareis to eat.

Past three days but within seven:[218]

She says she needs to eat:[219] If the Yoledes is past three days from childbirth but within seven days[220] then if she says that she needs to eat, she should be fed less than the Shiur Kareis.[221] This applies even if the doctors say that it is not dangerous for her to fast.

She says she does not need to eat:[222] If the Yoledes who is past three days from childbirth but within seven days, says that she does not need to eat, then she may not be fed. [Some Poskim[223] however write that in today’s times all observant women say they do not need to eat and hence are not to be trusted. One is to rather ask a Doctor, and if a doctor is not available, one is to ask those women who have understanding in these matters.]

Does not voice an opinion:[224] If the Yoledes who is past three days from childbirth but within seven days, does not voice an opinion regarding whether she needs to eat then she may be given to eat less than Shiur Kareis, unless the doctors or her colleagues say that she does not need to eat.

Past seven days:[225]

If the Yoledes is past seven weekdays[226] from her birth, then she receives the same Halachic status as a person with a non-deadly illness. Thus, even if she says that she must eat due to the birth, it is forbidden for her to eat. If, however, she says she needs to eat because of an illness, she may be fed as is the law regarding all sick people.

How to measure the three and seven days-Are the days measured in 24 hours or in weekdays?[227]

The days are measured in weekdays and not in 24 hours. [For example; if Yom Kippur is on Wednesday night, and she gave birth on Monday night, then on Yom Kippur she is considered to be within three days from birth. If, however, she gave birth on Monday afternoon she is considered to be past three days from birth, even though 72 hours have not yet passed since she gave birth. If she gave birth on Thursday afternoon, and Yom Kippur is the following Wednesday night, then on Yom Kippur she is considered to be past seven days after birth.]

Q&A Must a woman fast if she is after a miscarriage? A woman after a miscarriage has the same status as a woman who gave birth.[228] Nevertheless, this only applies if she was pregnant for at least 40 days.[229]

11. Waiting six hours between meat and milk: [230]

A woman after birth who is in need to eat milk products, may eat them within 6 hours of eating meat. She is to recite an after blessing, wash out her mouth, and wait one hour between meat and milk.

12. Laws relevant to hospital stay during holidays:

*Regarding Shabbos in the hospital, see Chapter 6!

 

A. Chanukah in the hospital:[231]

If the wife is a patient in a hospital or after birth center [i.e. Beit Hachlama] during one of the days of Chanukah, then she must light her own Chanukah candles even if her husband is lighting for her at home.[232] [She is to light in his hospital room, although she also fulfills his obligation if she lights in the dining room, where she eats her meals in the hospital.[233] If, however, the hospital management is lighting candles on behalf of all the patients, and intends to acquire them the oil, then the patients fulfill their obligation with that lighting.]

B. Pesach:[234]

Checking for Chametz: A woman after birth who will be staying in the hospital on the night of Pesach is required to check her space of the room and cupboards for Chametz on the night of the 14th. This is in addition to check all of her belongings to make sure that they are free of any Chametz products or crumbs. Nonetheless, she is not to say a blessing upon doing this check for Chametz. After she completes the check, she is to recite the Bittul of Kol Chamira. It is not necessary for her to do this personally and she may have another Jew do the checking on her behalf.

The night of the Seder: A woman after birth is to follow all of the regular laws relevant to the night of the Seder, including the eating of Matzaoh and Maror, and recital of the Haggadah, and the drinking of 4 cups of grape juice, or tea or coffee if grape juice is not available. She may eat the bare minimum Shiur of Matzah and Maror, and recite the bare minimum requirement of the Haggadah if she does not have the strength to say all of it.

_________________________________________________________________________________

[1] Admur in Seder Birchas Hanehnin 12:12; Luach 11:30; Michaber 223:1; Shevach Habris 4:1-5; Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1; Toras Hayoledes 39; Nitei Gavriel 67

[2] Seder ibid; Luach ibid; Michaber ibid; Semak 151

[3] See Q&A!

In bathroom: If he heard the news while using the bathroom or taking a shower, then he should finish what he’s doing, leave the bathroom, wash his hands and then say the blessing. [Sefer Chassidim 845; Elya Raba 223:1; See Admur Seder Birchas Hanehnin 13:17]

[4] Meaning of words: These words imply that he is blessing God for having done good for him and having done good also for his wife, as his wife also desires to have a boy. [Seder ibid; Luach ibid; Beis Yosef 223:1; Brachos ibid]

[5] Seder ibid; Luach ibid; Michaber ibid; Brachos Braisa 59b

[6] Seder ibid “the same applies for each and every son that is born to him”; Luach ibid; Taz 223:1; Rashba 1:245; Ateres Zekeinim 223

[7] Admur Seder ibid “even if he is in another city when they came and told him that his wife gave birth to a boy, he says the blessing”; Luach ibid “although his wife is not present, nonetheless, she is a partner with him in this same blessing”; Beis Yosef 223; Rosh Brachos 9:15; Mordechai Brachos Remez 216; Beis Yosef 223; Olas Tamid 223; Elya Raba 223:1; Kaf Hachaim 223:1

[8] The reason: Although his wife is not present, nonetheless, she is a partner with him in this same blessing. [Luach ibid]

[9] Halachos Ketanos 1:201; Yad Aaron 223; Kaf Hachaim 223:1

[10] See Kaf Hachaim 223:6

[11] Seder ibid; Luach ibid; Rama ibid; Darkei Moshe 223:2; Mamar Mordechai 223:2; Chayeh Adam 62:1; Kitzur SHU”A 59:5; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 223:7

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that even in such a case, the blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv is to be recited. [Beis Yosef 223; Taz 223:1; Elya Raba 223:2; Kaf Hachaim 223:1]

[12] The reason: As he no longer has a partner in his joy.

[13] Admur Seder 12:12 “When one returns and sees is son that was born, then if he sees his son within 30 days from when he heard about the birth, then he does not need to repeat the blessing of Shehechiyanu being that he already said the blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv on him. However if this occurs after 30 days, then he needs to say the blessing even if he already saw his son prior to 30 days, if his heart is happy and he receives pleasure from it.”, Seder 12:11 regarding even an adult that if one did not see his son in 30 days then the blessing is to be said; Halachos Ketanos 1:201; Yad Aaron 223; P”M 225 A”A 3; See Michaber 225:1; Brachos 58b; Elya Raba 225:3; Shevach Habris 4:3

[14] Luach 11:31 [omitted from Seder 12]; Rama 223:1; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1

[15] Divrei Yatziv 1:93; Nitei Gavriel 66:4;

[16] See Chesed Lealafim 223:4; Yifei Laleiv 223:1; Ben Ish Chaiy Reieh 8; Kaf Hachaim 223:6 and 8

[17] Luach ibid; M”A 223:3; Olas Tamid 223:1; Elya Raba 223:2; Soles Belula 223:2; Chesed Lealafim 223:4; Kaf Hachaim 223:8

[18] Luach ibid; Seder ibid completely omits the opinion who rules that Shehechiyanu is optional, thus implying that he rules that it is obligatory.

[19] Sefer Chasisdim 843; Elya Raba 223:1; Kaf Hachaim 223:4; Shevach Habris 4:8; Nitei Gavriel 66:10

[20] See Shevet Mussar 24; Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1

[21] Nitei Gavriel 66:5

[22] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1; Nitei Gavriel 66:2

[23] Ashel Avraham Butchach 223; Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1

[24] P”M 223 A”A 2; M”B 223:3 in name of P”M ibid; Kaf Hachaim 223:5; Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1; See Ketzos Hashulchan 64 footnote 11

[25] Mur Uketzia 224

[26] Ketzos Hashulchan 64 footnote 11; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:230 that it may be said so long as he is involved in letting people know of the birth

[27] Kaf Hachaim 223:5

[28] See Kaf Hachaim 223:3; Shevach Habris 4:7

[29] Sefer Chasisdim 843; Elya Raba 223:1; Ketzos Hashulchan 64 footnote 10 that so is the opinion of Admur, based on his ruling in Seder 12:7 the blessing may be said whenever one rejoices over good news that he hears about a friend or relative

[30] Biur Halacha 223:1; Chida in Makor Chesed on Seder Chassidim ibid, brought in Kaf Hachaim ibid writes to say it without Shem Umalchus

[31] The reason: As the blessing is only said when there is some tangible benefit for the individual not just mere joy. [Biur Halacha ibid based on Rashba 4:77]

[32] See Kaf Hachaim 223:3; Shevach Habris 4:7

[33] Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1

[34] Toras Hayoledes 37:4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1 footnote 8

[35] See M”A 223:2; Mur Uketzia 8; Nitei Gavriel 66:6

[36] M”A 223:2; Elya Raba 223:1; P”M 223 A”A 1; Yifei Laleiv 223:2; Kaf Hachaim 223:2; Nitei Gavriel 66:7

[37] Kaf Hachaim 223:2

[38] Nitei Gavriel 66:7

[39] Nitei Gavriel 66:9

[40] Nitei Gavriel 66:13

[41] Admur in Seder Birchas Hanehnin 12:12 “Even on the birth of a girl..” [omitted by Luach]; M”B 223:2; Darkei Chaim Veshalom 256; Orchos Rabbeinu 1:92; Tzitz Eliezer 13:20; Shevet Halevi 8:34; Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1; Shevach Habris 4:40; Nitei Gavriel 67:15; Toras Hayoledes 39:3

[42] See Seder ibid regarding the birth of a boy that the father is obligated to say the blessing, and that “she is also obligated to say this blessing,” and the same applies by the birth of a girl; Tzitz Eliezer ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; See also Admur Seder 12:11 and Poskim ibid that also a woman is to say the blessing of Shehechiyanu if she has not seen someone who she loves in 30 days, and hence certainly this would apply here in the seeing of a new child [see M”B 223:2]; Halichos Beisa 13:39 in name of Rav SZ”A; Shevach Habris 4:4, see there footnote 9 in length

[43] The source: Although this ruling is not explicitly recorded in previous Poskim, it is included in the Halacha recorded that one recites Shehechiyanu upon seeing a person that he has not seen in 30 days, and is excited to see him, which applies also to girls. Certainly, then, the blessing is to be said upon seeing a newborn daughter. [M”B ibid; See Admur Seder 12:11; Luach 11:22; Michaber 225:1; Brachos 58b; Elya Raba 225:3]

The blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv: The blessing of Hatov Vihameitiv is not recited upon the birth of a baby girl. The reason for this is because it does not contain as much joy as does the birth of a boy. [Aruch Hashulchan 223:1] This applies even if the couple has had many boys and was anticipating the birth of a girl in order to fulfill the mitzvah of Peru Urevu. [Aruch Hashulchan ibid; M”B 223:2] The reason for this is because the mother is not commanded in the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, and seemingly she always desires to have a boy. [Shaar Hatziyon 223:3]

[44] The reason: As this is not a good tiding. [Admur ibid; See Admur 46:4; Kiddushin; Niddah 31b] Meaning, that it is not such a good tiding, as is the news of a boy. [Aruch Hashulchan 223:1] Perhaps this means that since it is common for fathers to anticipate the birth of a boy, and their anticipation has not been met, therefore a blessing cannot be recited over merely hearing about the birth, but one must rejoice from the actual sight.

[45] See Seder ibid regarding the birth of a boy that “the same applies for each and every son that is born to him,” and the same applies by the birth of a girl

[46] Admur Seder 12:12 regarding newborn, as explained in Seder 12:11 regarding even an adult daughter that if one did not see his daughter in 30 days the blessing is to be said; See Michaber 225:1; Brachos 58b; Elya Raba 225:3

[47] Luach 11:31 [omitted from Seder 12]; Rama 223:1

[48] See Nitei Gavriel 67 footnote 19 in name of Tzanzer Rebbe

[49] Luach ibid; Seder ibid completely omits the opinion who rules that Shehechiyanu is optional, thus implying that he rules that it is obligatory.

[50] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1

[51] M”B 223:3 in name of P”M 223; Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1; See Ketzos Hashulchan 64 footnote 11

[52] Mur Uketzia 224

[53] Ketzos Hashulchan 64 footnote 11; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:230 that it may be said so long as he is involved in letting people know of the birth

[54] See Kaf Hachaim 223:3

[55] Sefer Chasisdim 843; Elya Raba 223:1

[56] Biur Halacha 223:1; Chida, brought in Kaf Hachaim ibid writes to say it without Shem Umalchus; Nitei Gavriel 67:19

[57] See Kaf Hachaim 223:3; Shevach Habris 4:7

[58] Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1; See Nitei Gavriel 67:17

[59] Toras Hayoledes 39:4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 223:1 footnote 8

[60] Shevet Halevi 8:35; Nitei Gavriel 67:16

[61] So replied Harav Eliyahu Landa Shlita, son of the late Rabbi Yaakov Landa, that we recite the blessing of Shehechiyanu upon the birth of a girl and that he did so for the birth of all of his daughters. So likewise, concurred Harav Y.S. Ginzberg, Harav S.B. Levin, Harav A.L. Hakohen, Rav L.Y. Raskin that so was done by Rav Moshe Katzenelenbogen, who was a great Torah scholar in London, and so should be done, Rav Michael Avishad.

Testimony of Rabbi Y.L. Groner: Rabbi Groner related to us through correspondence that he received from the elderly Rabbis of Anash [he is uncertain as to whom he heard it from although estimates that if he is not mistaken he heard it from Rav Shmuel Halevi Levitin] that it is not our custom to say this blessing. Nonetheless, Rabbi Groner has related to us in the past that his memory is fading with his late age, and we should not fully rely on his memory for decisions on matters such as these. I have been unable to substantiate this testimony from anyone else, and hence our conclusion remains as stated. In the Sefer “HaBayis Hayehudi” p. 490 it states that it is said in the name of the Rebbe that a woman who gave birth does not recite the blessing of Shehechiyanu. The source recorded is from Rabbi Groner. Being that we spoke with Rabbi Groner directly, there is certainly a discrepancy between what he is quoted to say here and his statement to us. The author of Shevach Yakar related that he spoke to the author of Habayis Hayehudi about the situation, and he related that it is a printing error in his Sefer.  

[62] Admur Seder 13:3; Luach 12:9; M”A 219; Kneses Hagedola 219; Yad Aaron 219; Mahariy Molko 141; Birkeiy Yosef 219:2; Siddur Yaavetz; Shulchan Hatahor 219:4; Salmas Chaim 202; Kaf Hachaim 219:3; Ketzos Hashulchan 65:1; Igros Kodesh 20:102; Shulchan Menachem 1 p. 347 footnote 4; Hiskashrus 683:16; Piskeiy Teshuvos 219:10; Shevach Habris 5:1; Nitei Gavriel 68; Al Minhagim, Umekoroseihem p. 188; Toras Hayoledes 69:7

Husband saying the blessing on behalf of his wife: Some Poskim rule that the husband may say the blessing on behalf of his wife. [M”A 219:4; M”B 219:17] Practically, this is not the custom. [Elya Raba 219:11; Aruch Hashulchan 219:9; M”B 219:18 and Biur Halacha in name of Elya Raba; Kaf Hachaim 219:27 and 34; Nitei Gavriel 68:4]

[63] The reason: Some Poskim rule that the blessing is to only be said after birth being that she is obligated to bring an offering after birth, and not after any other matter, such as recovery from another illness. [Minchas Shlomo 2:4-31; Tzitz Eliezer 19:53; Nitei Gavriel 68:2]

[64] Birkeiy Yosef 219:2; Ben Ish Chaiy Eikev 1:8; Kaf Hachaim 219:3; Yechaveh Daas 14:15

[65] Other Ashkenazi communities: In a minority of Ashkenazi communities, the custom is for women to say this blessing after giving birth. This includes the old Jerusalem community, known as the Yishuv Hayashan. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 219:10]

[66] M”A 219; Custom brought, and negated, in Kneses Hagedola 219; Halachos Ketanos 2:161, brought in Beir Heiytiv 219:1; Elya Raba 219:5 in name of Toras Chaim; Shaareiy Efraim 4:28 [that so is the custom, even though he personally rejects it]; Chesed Lealafim 219:10; Birchas Habayis 27:17; Hisorerus Teshuvah 1:59; Aruch Hashulchan 219:6; M”B 219:3; Har Tzevi 1:163; Minchas Yitzchak 4:12; Divrei Yatziv E.H. 35; Betzel Hachochmah 6:78; Kinyan Torah 4:22; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:195; Orchos Rabbeinu 1:91 that so ruled Chazon Ish and Steipler; Piskeiy Teshuvos 219:10; Rav Leibal Groner in name of Rebbe, and Rav Shmuel Levitin, brought in Shulchan Menachem ibid and Nitei Gvariel ibid; Shevach Habris ibid footnote 4; Many Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 3

The reason: As it is not modest for a woman to say the blessing in front of ten men. [Halachos Ketanos ibid; M”B ibid] Alternatively, the reason is because this blessing is merely optional. [M”A ibid; See Machatzis Hashekel ibid; P”M ibid]

[67] Rav Moshe Landa in name of his father Rav Yaakov Landa that she is to say the blessing in front of 10 men, and that so was the custom in their household; Rabbi Label Groner in name of Rav Shmuel Hakohen Kahanav

[68] Rabbi Label Groner in name of Rebbe, and Rav Shmuel Levitin

[69] Rabbi Label Groner tells over the following: After my wife gave birth to a child I asked the rebbe as to whether she should say the blessing of Hagomel. The Rebbe replied questioning from where he ever heard of a woman saying the blessing of Hagomel, and told him to ask the elderly rabbis. The Rabbis that he asked gave conflicting answers. Rabbi Shmuel Levitin replied that he never heard of women saying this blessing while another Rabbi, Rav Shmuel Hakohen Kahanav, stated that it was customary for the blessing to be said by woman. [See Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag Miluim 5:60; Shulchan Menachem 1 p. 347 footnote 4; Hiskashrus 683:16] Likewise, Rabbi Yaakov Landa said the blessing is to be recited. [Pardes Chabad] On the other hand, we have an explicit letter of the Rebbe discussing the recital of this blessing by women after birth, and referencing to those authorities who hold that it should be said, without making any mention that there is a Chabad custom to the contrary. [See Igros Kodesh 20:102, printed in Shulchan Menachem 1:347] Furthermore, Rav Tzevi Hirsh Chitrik testifies that he once asked the rebbe after his wife gave birth as to where she should say the blessing and the Rebbe responded that it should be said immediately after the Mincha prayer, and so was done by the Rebbe’s own minyan.

[70] Seder ibid; Luach ibid; Kneses Hagedola ibid; Yad Aaron 219; Birkeiy Yosef 219:2; Ben Ish Chaiy Ekev 8; Kaf Hachaim 219:3 [or in front of 10 of her male relatives]; Salmas Chaim 200; Minchas Shlomo 2:4; Tzitz Eliezer 19:53; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 2

[71] Ketzos Hashulchan 65 footnote 6; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 2

[72] Poskim who rule that she does fulfill her obligation: Kneses Hagedola ibid “at the very least it should be said in front of one man or women”; Elya Raba 219:12; Birkeiy Yosef 219:2; P”M 219 M”Z 3 that it is a Safek Bracha Levatala to say the blessing in private; Opinion in M”B 219:3 and 8 that it may be said in front of ten women and one man; Keser Shem Tov Gagin that so is the custom of some Sephardic women in London even initially; See Igros Kodesh 20:102 who questions this custom

Poskim who rule that she does not fulfill her obligation: Admur Seder 13:2; Luach 12:9; Michaber 219:3; Birchas Habayos 27:24; Kaf Hachaim 219:3; Halichos Shlomo 23 footnote 3; Yechaveh Daas 14:15; Brachos 45b that even 100 woman is equivalent to only two men; Piskeiy Teshuvos 219:10

[73] Kaf Hachaim 219:3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 219:10

[74] See Admur 330:5

[75] Kaf Hachaim 219:7 based on 617:4

[76] M”A 239:7; M”B 239:9; Brachos 54b; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 180; Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Leida p. 274; Nitei Gavriel 63:4

[77] Haghos Yaavetz; Yosef OMetz 351; Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 64:3; Machaneh Chaim E.H. 2:56; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 63 footnote 7

[78] Sefer Matamim 2 Mareches Zacher Unikeiva 2

[79] Nitei Gavriel 63:8

[80] Nitei Gavriel 63:9

[81] Nitei Gavriel 63:10-11

[82] See Rashal 45

[83] Imrei Yosher Nashim 118

[84] Nitei Gavriel 63:5

[85] See Admur 88:2 “If she herself has given birth in which she goes to the synagogue after four weeks, she may go even if she is a Nidah”; M”A 88:3; Shut Maharshal 58; Beis Yosef 88; Elya Raba 219:5; P”M 219 M”Z 3; Shaareiy Efraim 4:28; Birchas Habayis 27:17; Hisorerus Teshuvah 1:59; Aruch Hashulchan 219:6; M”B 219:3; Har Tzevi 1:163; Minchas Yitzchak 4:12; Divrei Yatziv E.H. 35; Betzel Hachochmah 6:78; Kinyan torah 4:22; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:195; Orchos Rabbeinu 1:91; Beir Moshe 8:120; Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:8; 219:10 regarding Hagomel; 239:11 regarding Shemira; Nitei Gavriel Nida Vol. 3 chapter 63:6 and 65; Shevach Habris 5:3

[86] The reason: There are several reasons behind the various parts of this custom: 1) A woman after birth is weak, and hence she would remain at home and rest for the first four weeks. [Shut Maharshal 58; Shut Bach 46] 2) A woman after birth requires Shemira, similar to a Chasan, and hence they would avoid leaving their house for a full month after birth, until the Shemira period expires. [Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 15] 

[87] Nitei Gavriel ibid that in today’s times, on the contrary, doctors recommend a woman to leave the home after birth for the betterment of her mental health

[88] See Admur 88:2; Beis Yosef 88; Elya Raba 219:5; P”M 219 M”Z 3; Shaareiy Efraim 4:28; Birchas Habayis 27:17; Hisorerus Teshuvah 1:59; Aruch Hashulchan 219:6; M”B 219:3; Har Tzevi 1:163; Minchas Yitzchak 4:12; Divrei Yatziv E.H. 35; Betzel Hachochmah 6:78; Kinyan torah 4:22; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:195; Orchos Rabbeinu 1:91; Beir Moshe 8:120; Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:8; 219:10 regarding Hagomel; 239:11 regarding Shemira; Nitei Gavriel Nida Vol. 3 chapter 63:6 and 65 and 69:1; Shevach Habris 5:3

[89] See previous Halacha 

[90] See Rav Tiyah Viyal 108; Maharam Mintz 37; Minhagei Wormz; Zichron Yehuda 46; Betzel Hachochmah 6:78; Pela Yoeitz 63:15; Nitei Gavriel 65:1 footnote 1 and 69 footnote 12; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

[91] Admur 88:2 “If she herself has given birth in which she goes to the synagogue after four weeks, she may go even if she is a Nidah”; M”A 88:3; Shut Maharshal 58; Beir Heiytiv E.H. 70:1; Noheig Katzon Yosef p. 141; Pleisi 194:2; Meishiv Nefesh p. 133; See also Admur Seder 13:3

[92] Admur ibid

[93] Shut Maharshal 58

[94] Seder Birchas Hanehnin 13:3; Igros Kodesh 20:102

[95] Shut Maharshal 58; Shut Bach 46

[96] See M”A 239:7; M”B 239:9; Brachos 54b; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 180; Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Leida p. 274

[97] Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 15

[98] See Elya Raba 219:5 in name of Toras Chaim

[99] Betzel Hachochmah 6:78

[100] See M”A 282:18

[101] Rav Tiyah Viyal 108

[102] Nitei Gavriel ibid that in today’s times, on the contrary, doctors recommend a woman to leave the home after birth for the betterment of her mental health

[103] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:8; This is the widespread custom that I personally have witnessed, however see Nitei Gavriel ibid and Piskeiy Teshuvos 219:10 who write that women after birth are to first visit the Shul to answer Barchu and the like prior to doing anything else

[104] Nitei Gavriel 65:1

[105] Nitei Gavriel 65:3

[106] Rabbi Leibal Groner, brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid; Rav Tzevi Hirsh Chitrik testifies that he once asked the Rebbe after his wife gave birth as to where she should say the blessing and the Rebbe responded that it should be said immediately after the Mincha prayer and answer Kedusha, and so was done by the Rebbe’s own minyan.

[107] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9

[108] Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

[109] M”A 282 in end; Elya Raba 219:5; Migdal Oz of Yaavetz; Shaareiy Efraim 4:28; Tosefes Shabbos 282:15; Bigdei Yesha 218:12; Daas Torah 282; Kitzur SHU”A 78:11; Hisorerus Tehsuvah 99; Biur Halacha ibid; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:8; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 69:1-24 and Poskim in footnote 1; Toras Hayoledes 69:8

[110] See above that the wife would come to shul after four weeks from birth.

The reason: A woman who gave birth needs to bring a Karban. Today, during exile, the above practice was instituted in the place of the Karban, through her husband receiving an Aliyah to the Torah upon her return to the outside. [See M”A 282:18; Poskim ibid; Nitei Gavriel 69:1 footnote 1-2]

[111] Biur Halacha ibid

[112] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:8

[113] See Shevach Habris 21:1 footnote 2

[114] M”A 282 in end that the father of a newborn daughter comes before the father of a newborn son; Daas Torah on M”A ibid

[115] Machatzis Hashekel 282 on M”A ibid; Tosefes Chaim on Chayeh Adam 31:22; Minchas Yitzchak 4:107; Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:10;

[116] See Derisha Y.D. 360:2; Mishmeres Shalom Kudinav 20:2

[117] Igros Kodesh 5:149; 12:341; Hayom Yom 25^th Menachem Av

[118] See Derisha Y.D. 360; Toras Hadam 2:109; Orchos Chaim Lunil 2:14; Nachlas Shiva 2:17; Elya Raba 132:4; Rav Akiva Eiger Y.D. 393; Shemen Hamaor p. 64, brought in Taamei Haminhagim 929:21; Mishmeres Shalom Kudinav 20:2; Minchas Yitzchak 4:107; Iyunei Halachos p. 325; Nitei Gavriel 69:11-12; 70 in name of Rav Pinchas Hirshprung based on Bava Metzia 91a; Shevach Habris 21:3; See Nitei Gavriel 70:17 footnote 28

[119] See Iyunei Halachos in name of the Horisteipler

[120] See Toras Hayoledes Chapter 40 for many details relating to lighting in the hospital and after birth

[121] Admur 263:5 “It is customary after one’s wife gives birth for the husband to light the Shabbos candles and say the blessing on the first Shabbos after birth. However, on all other Shabbosos, she is to light the candles even if she is a Nidah.”; M”A 263:6; Mateh Moshe 423; Shelah Shabbos Ner Mitzvah; Sefer Minhagim Tirana Erev Shabbos 26; first custom brought in Kneses Hagedola 263:10; Kitzur SHU”A 75:5; Aruch Hashulchan 263:7; Tehila Ledavid 88:3; M”B 263:11; Kaf Hachaim 263:23; Beir Moshe 8:66; Az Nidbaru 11:2; Shraga Hameir 5:11; Shevach Habris 6:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:10; Nitei Gavriel 66:2

Other customs: Some are accustomed to have the wife light candles as usual even on the Shabbos after birth. If necessary, the candles are brought to her room for her to light. [Kneses Hagedola 263:10 that so is a good custom] Others, however, argue that is not a good custom being that the candles are meant to be lit on Shabbos table, and not in her room near her bed. [Birkeiy Yosef, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 263:2 based on Rama and Rambam] Others negate this custom being that it is not valid for the candles to be lit in one area and then moved to another area. [Tehila Ledavid 88:3]

[122] The reason: Several reasons are recorded to explain this custom: 1) As the wife was very weak the week after birth and could not be expected to stand up and walk to the candles to light them by the Shabbos table. Accordingly, the husband lit the candles on this Shabbos. [Hagahos Rav Baruch Frankel on M”A ibid; Toras Shabbos 263:4; ] Some negate this reason, stating that the candles may simply be brought to the wife for her to light near her bed, and so indeed was the custom of some. [Kneses Hagedola 263:10 that so is a good custom] Others, however, argue that is not a good custom being that the candles are meant to be lit on Shabbos table, and not in her room near her bed. [Birkeiy Yosef 263:3, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 263:3 based on Rama and Rambam; Kaf Hahaim ibid] Others negate this custom being that it is not valid for the candles to be lit in one area and then moved to another area. [Tehila Ledavid 88:3] 2) Others explain that the reason for the wife not lighting candles is because she is not clean from the birth and is in a state of Nidah, and is flowing a large amount of blood. [Aruch Hashulchan 263:7; Toras Chaim Sofer 263:6; Darkei Halacha 263:6; See Shevach Habris 6 footnote 1] 3) Others explain that the reason is because the entire reason for why women are given the Mitzvah to light Shabbos candles is as a Tikkun for the sin of Adam and Eve, which Eve instigated, in which she extinguished the candle the world. Hence, when the mother has given birth to a new child and rekindled the light of the world then she no longer needs to light candles for this Tikkun. [Beir Moshe 8:66]

[123] Rebbe in name of Rebbe Rayatz that so ruled the Alter Rebbe to his granddaughter, the wife of the Tzemach Tzedek, and that so ruled the Tzemach Tzedek to his daughter-in-law, the wife of the Rebbe Maharash, brought in Koveitz Hagahos Lassidur Rabbeinu Hazakein p. 28; Beir Moshe 8:66; Az Nidbaru 11:2; Rav SZ”A in Otzer Habris Tinyana 2:5 footnote 2; Shevach Habris 6:1 footnote 2; Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:10; Nitei Gavriel ibid

The reason: Some say the reason is because today’s women are strong enough to get up from their beds by the first Shabbos after birth. [Az Nidbaru 11:2] Others write the reason is because this would cause the woman great pain if she cannot light her Shabbos candles. [Beir Moshe 8:66]

[124] Rebbe ibid; Kneses Hagedola 263:10; Derech Hachaim 50:16 that it should be lit on a table next to her bed and remained there for some time, and then later moved before the start of Shabbos to the area of the dining table; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 263 footnote 98; 263:35

[125] See Beir Moshe 8:67; SSH”K 43 footnote 46; Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:10; Nitei Gavriel 66:5

[126] Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:10; See Admur 264:14 that when a husband is away from home he fulfills his Mitzvah with his wife’s lighting at home, and Rebbe in name of Rebbe Rayatz in Koveitz Hagahos Lassidur Rabbeinu Hazakein p. 28 that certainly he is to light without a blessing. However, in truth our case is not the same, as here we are discussing that the wife is away from home, and the above exemption of a wife for her husband only applies when the wife is lighting in the home of the husband using the husband’s candles, as explicitly written in Admur ibid; However, see Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid and 263:25-5

[127] Whenever one’s wife is away from home for Shabbos, then the husband is obligated to light Shabbos candles with a blessing, if there is no one else in the home that will be lighting. [See Admur 263:5, 9; 11; Kitzur Dinei Shabbos 3:7; Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:10]

[128] Rebbe in name of Rebbe Rayatz in Koveitz Hagahos Lassidur Rabbeinu Hazakein p. 28, printed in Shulchan Menachem 2:45; See Divrei Shalom 3:73; Chayeh Halevi 1:34; Pnei Shabbos 3:4-48; Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:2; See Nitei Gavriel 66:4

[129] See Admur 263:9-10

[130] Beir Moshe 8:67; SSH”K 43 footnote 46; Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:10; See regarding if the lighting of a small child exempts the father: Admur 263:11 [even a gentile is valid Bedieved and certainly a child below Bas Mitzvah, however he is the one to say the blessing and accept Shabbos afterwards]; Gloss of Rav Akiva Eiger 263 [Gentile is invalid]; Beir Moshe ibid [No, and therefore he must light]; See article of Rav Yosef Zevin in Yagdil Torah T.Z. 6:50

[131] Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:10 and footnote 102

[132] Nitei Gavriel 66:4

[133] See Levushei Mordechai Telisa 59; Beis Yitzchak Y.D. 1:120; 2:31; Maharshag 2:120; Pekudas Elazar; Kaf Hachaim 673:19; Har Tzevi 2:114; 143; Rav Henkin in Eidus Yisrael p. 122; Mikraeiy Kodesh Chanukah 20; Shearim Hametzuyanim 129:4; Meoreiy Eish p. 95; Tzitz Eliezer 1:20-12; Beir Moshe 6:58-59; Yabia Omer 3:35; Az Nidbaru 3:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 673:1; Shulchan Menachem 3:272; Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:9 footnotes 93-95; Shevach Habris 6:2; Nitei Gavriel 66:8

[134] Reshimos of Rabbi Label Groner that so directed the Rebbe

[135] See Poskim ibid; See Shevach Habris 6:2 footnote 4 that so ruled Rav Issac Shwei

[136] Toras Chaim Sofer 253:4; Likkutei Maharich Seder Hanhagas Bierev Shabbos based on Shabbos 23b; Mishneh Halachos 7:35; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 2:157; Likkutei Sichos 11:289; Shevach Habris 6:4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:2 footnote 19; Omitted from Admur 263:1 and not mentioned in any of the Rishonim or previous Poskim; Nitei Gavriel 66:6; See Pesach Hadvir 263

[137] Likkutei Sichos ibid

[138] See Likkutei Sichos Vol. 36 Sicha 1; Sefer Hasichos 5747 1:327; Likkutei Sichos 26:420; Shevach Habris 3:9

[139] See and Rav Ovadia Bartenura on Avos 2:8; Yerushalmi Yevamos 1:6; Pela Yoeitz Erech Yonkei Shadayim; Shevach Habris 3:8

[140] Chosem Kodesh 9:6; Bris Avos Kuntrus Leil Shimurim 13; Zocher Habris 3:14; Shevach Habris 2:6; Chinuch book by Hartman

[141] It is not customary to do so after the birth of a girl.

[142] See Sichos 11^th-13^th Nissan 5741; Likkutei Sichos Nitzavim Vol. 24 Sicha 2; Likkutei Sichos 23:17 Shavuos 1; Sichos Kodesh 5728 1:382, printed in Shulchan Menachem 1:22; 6:191; Michaber Y.D. 270:2; Rambam Sefer Torah 6:1; Rava Sanhedrin 21b; See Nitei Gavriel Sefer Torah chapters 1-6Shevach Habris 3:10

[143] https://www.kidstorah.org/

[144] Toras Menachem 5747 2:647; Sefer Hasichos 1992 p. 89; Likkutei Dibburim Likkut 32 Vol. 4 p. 784 “When I was three years old twice a day, in the morning upon awakening and at night upon going to sleep, my mother would lift me up to kiss the Mezuzah.”; Shevach Habris 3:7

[145] Kitzur SHU”A 71:4 “Prior to going to bed one is to walk to the Mezuzah and place his hands on it and say “Hashem Shomri…”

[146] See Likkutei Dibburim Likkut 32 for a fascinating story on this matter!

[147] Shevach Habris 3:6

[148] Sefer Chassidim 238; Shlah; Shevet Mussar 24; Sifrei Mussar; Mamar Mordechai 560:1; Kaf Hachaim 560:29; Shaar Hatziyon 560:25

[149] Toras Menachem 1987 2:647

[150] Shevet Mussar 24

[151] See Shevet Mussar 24; Toras Menachem 5742 4:2124; 5747 2:647; 5752 2:263

[152] Rebbe ibid

[153] Shevet Mussar 24

[154] Toras Menachem 5742 2:816; 5749 2:37; Shevach Habris 3:35

[155] Toras Menachem 5749 2:37

[156] Toras Menachem 5742 2:816 that so is the custom today of all Israel

[157] Toras Menachem 5742 2:816; See Igros Kodesh Rayatz 2:438; Brought in Hayom Yom 4th Iyar; Sefer Haminhagim p. 87; Igros Kodesh 5:21

^[158] Based on Basra 4:2 regarding children touching food as seemingly the intent of Admur there is with regards to washing their hands and not simply to not let them touch food. So also understands Kaf Hachaim 4:22; See Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 54:16; Shevach Habris 3:4

^[159] Basra 4:2; So brings also P”M 4 M”Z 7 that the world is not accustomed to be careful to wash the hands of children. He however does not differentiate between whether the child has reached the age of Chinuch or not.

The reason for the leniency: As the G-dly soul only completely and mainly enters into a person when he reaches the age of Bar or Bas Mitzvah, and it is for this reason that when they reach this age they become Biblically obligated to keep the commands, and are punished for transgression. Now the beginning of the entrance of the G-dly soul into a child’s body is from the age that the Sages obligated the child to be educated in Torah and Mitzvos. [Basra ibid; Thus before the age of Chinuch, since the G-dly soul has not even begun to enter their body, this impurity does not desire to seek nurture in their bodies upon them sleeping].

[160] See previous footnote

^[161] lit. “Kadosh Yomar Lo”

[162] Parentheses in original

The reason: As in truth the G-dly soul begins to enter into the child’s body from the day of his Bris Milah. [Admur ibid; Thus the evil spirit has reason to reside in his body when sleeping starting from after the Milah.]

[163] Ben Ish Chaiy Toldos 10; Kaf Hachaim 4:22; P”M 4 M”Z 7: “It is proper to wash their hands every morning as Sakana is more severe than even prohibitions”. Chida in Moreh Baetzba 2:60: “It is proper to wash the hands of the small children properly in order to prevent them from placing impurity on all the items they touch.”

[164] Ben Ish Chaiy Toldos 10

[165] Ben Ish Chaiy Toldos 10 in name of Chesed Lialafim 13; Kaf Hachaim 4:22

[166] The will of the Rebbe Rashab to the general public printed in Ishkavta Direbbe p. 136

[167] Toras Menachem 7 [1953]  p. 194

[168] Admur 343:3

[169] It is a Rabbinical command for a father to educate his son and daughter in both negative and positive commands, beginning from when the child reaches the age of education. [ibid]

[170] Ashel Avraham Butchach 4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 4:8; See also Admur Basra 4:2; Divrei Yatziv 1:1; Tzitz Eliezer 21:20; Mishneh Halachos 7:1

[171] See Ashel Avraham ibid that possibly until the age of Bar Mitzvah one does not have to be careful in the above.

[172] Vetzaruch Iyun as the age of education differs between positive and negative commands. Washing the hands is considered a positive command while not touching orifices is like a negative command.

[173] Based on Likkutei Sichos 14 p. 250; Toras Menachem 5750 Vol. 3 p. 364; See Shulchan Menachem 5 p. 158-159 [Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 3 p. 297] Darkei Chaim Veshalom 219

Background: Admur in Basra 4:2 states that it is proper to begin washing the hands of a child from the time of his Bris being that at that time the G-dly soul begins to enter. No mention is made regarding when the G-dly soul begins to enter a girl and consequently from when it is proper to begin washing the hands of a girl. Chazal state [Avoda Zara 27a] that a girl is considered already circumcised. The intent of this is that the moment a girl is born she is already considered circumcised. [Likkutei Sichos ibid; Igros Kodesh 22 p. 260] Thus the G-dly soul begins to enter a girl as soon as she is born, just as we say regarding a boy on the day of his Bris. Nevertheless perhaps the actual entrance is when she is given a name. [Likkutei Sichos ibid] The reason for this is because the letters of a name is what connects the soul to the body. [Toras Menachem ibid] It is for this reason that we are particular to name a girl at the first opportunity, at the first available Kerias Hatorah, and do not delay it at all as is the custom of others, as who has the right to delay the soul from entering. [Shulchan Menachem ibid; Darkei Chaim Veshalom ibid] From the above it is implied that just like by a boy one begins to wash his hands starting from the day of the Bris, so too by a girl one is to begin washing the hands from the day her name is given, and perhaps even beforehand starting from the day she is born.

[174] Ben Ish Chaiy Toldos 10 in name of Chesed Lialafim.

[175] See Admur Basra 4:2; 158:11;

[176] Toldos Levi Yitzchak 2:30; [Unlike what writes Professor Branover in Beiyn Halev p. 43 for which I have found no source; nor like Rav Yosef Hartman in Keitzad Nichaneich Es Yiladeinu p. 210 who goes as far as to suggest that perhaps even Admur Hazakein intended to say that one should wash even before eating food and nursing. This to me is completely negated and makes no sense neither to say in Admur nor in the tradition of the Rebbe’s parents. To note that he quotes the tradition in name of Rav Rav Shalom Vilenker from the Sefer Toldos Levi Yitzchak p. 153. I have not found this on the page he quoted, and the Sefer Toldos Levi Yitzchak specifically writes as we stated above.]

The rumor regarding the Rebbe: Chassidim record in the name of Rav Levi Yitzchak and Rebbetzin Chanah that the Rebbetzin was accustomed to wash his hands each time prior to nursing the Rebbe. Some even say that this was a directive of the Rebbe Rashab. There are no known written records on the subject from either of the Rebbe’s parents and hence we have to judge based on what Chassidim have testified to have heard from them.

The questions: In general, the entire concept seems puzzling, as we all know that a) the Jewish custom is not to be particular for a child to wash his hands for bread until he reaches a certain age. b) even after he reaches that age, Halacha is only particular that one wash his hands for actual bread and not for any other food. In fact, one who washes his hands for other foods besides bread is considered arrogant and it is a discouraged act. So, this custom seems to make no sense! Likewise, there is no firsthand testimony which claims to have heard from the Rebbe’s parents that this matter was a directive of the Rebbe Rashab.

The true tradition: Seemingly however the answer to this lies within the testimony of Rav Yitzchak Goldshmitd who transmitted what he personally heard from the Rebbetzin Chana that her husband [and not the Rebbe Rashab] instructed her to wash his hands every time he wakes up from sleep in order to nurse, starting from the day of birth. This falls right in line with the ruling of Admur in his Shulchan Aruch Basra 4:2 that whoever is particular to wash the hands of a baby who awakens from sleep from the day of the circumcision is called holy. Thus, we can conclude that the hands were washed only after waking up from sleep, and not necessarily prior to each time that he ate. In other words, the washing has nothing to do with washing for bread but rather with washing from after sleep which is something that we all do today.

A mistaken custom: Accordingly, those mothers who are particular to wash their child’s hands before they eat anything in order to follow the custom of the Rebbe’s parents are seemingly following a mistaken custom, not to mention that as a known rule we’re not meant to copy the personal Hanhagos of the Rabbeim, and there’s no greater proof of this than in this case where the Rebbetzin concludes and testifies that this was only done by the Rebbe and not by any of their other sons.

[177] Reishis Chochma Shaar Hakedusha 16; Yosef Ometz in end; Tziporen Shamir 186; Kaf Hachaim 116:107; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 145:1; Nitei Gavriel 63:7; Shevach Habris 20:5

[178] Shelah Hakadosh; Shemiras Hanefesh 102; Kaf Hachaim 116:170; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 148:1; Nitei Gavriel 64:1

[179] Sefer Chassidim 469; Sefer Zechira; Shemiras Hanefesh 136; Kaf Hachaim 116:181; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 148:2

[180] See Kav Hayashar 2; Shevet Hamussar 24; Maagol Tov p. 56; Yeshuos Chochmah 33:11; Sefer Zechira; Sichos Kodesh Parshas Kedoshim 2:170; Hisvadyus 1984 20^th Marchesvan 37; Likkutei Sichos 25:309; Toras Menachem 5750 3:179 “It has been spoken a number of times on the need to be careful not to look at toys and pictures of non-Kosher  animals in order so children only see pure and holy things. This is so important that this adherence begins as soon as the child is born and comes out to the air the world, in which case we immediately hang around the child matters of holiness and purity. Furthermore, this adherence begins even before the child is born during the pregnancy. As it is known that the custom of women while they are pregnant to be very careful not to see impure items but rather only pure and holy items”; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 237:2; See Megillah 28a; Shulchan Menachem 6:31; Shevach Habris 1:11

[181] The reason: As everything a child sees, even from a young age, is encrypted in his mind, and hence it is proper to abstain them from seeing anything which can ignite their Yetzer Hara when they are older. [see Kav Hayashar 2; Hisvadyus 1984 20^th Marchesvan 37]

[182] Likkutei Sichos 25:309

[183] Devash Lifi of Chida Mareches Yud 18; Shemiras Hanefesh 287; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 149; Nitei Gavriel 64:7

[184] Sefer Zechira; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 148:3

[185] Chacham Tzevi 64; Chasam Sofer E.H. 136; Shemiras Hanefesh 18; Kaf Hachaim 116:136

[186] Shemiras Hanefesh 18; Kaf Hachaim 116:136

[187] Sefer Chassidim 246; Kaf Hachaim 116:137; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 199:1

[188] Sefer Chassidim 245; Shemiras Hanefesh 179; Kaf Hachaim 116:137; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 199:2

[189] Zivcheiy Tzedek 116:83; Rav Dovid Luria in Aliyos Eliyahu 51; Kaf Hachaim 116:135

[190] Pischeiy Teshuvah 352:2; Yalkut HaReuveini Parshas Mikeitz; Kaf Hachaim 116:138

[191] See M”A 551:40; Elya Raba 551:35; Chayeh Adam 133:19; Mahariy Bruno 12; Shaareiy Teshuvah 551:33; Tzeida Laderech Mamar 1 3:13; Derech Hachaim 7; Kitzur SHU”A 122:12; Kaf Hachaim 551:187; Shaar Hatziyon 551:94; Piskeiy Teshuvos 551:50; Nitei Gavriel 56:20; See Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Vol. 3 Erech Hirayon p. 21; See Toras Hayoledes 51:13 [The M”A ibid rules a Yoledes may bathe during the nine days and states that even on Tisha B’av it seems that this is allowed, and then concludes that one is not to be lenient in this being that we are no longer accustomed to bathe that often. It is unclear if the M”A ibid is saying one should never be lenient, or is not to be lenient on Tisha B’av. The Poskim ibid understand like the latter approach, and hence a Yoledes may bathe as normal, if necessary.]

[192] The reason: It is permitted to bathe for medical purposes as only bathing that is done for pleasure purposes is forbidden. [See Rama 551:16; Admur 613:1 and 614:1 regarding Yom Kippur]

[193] Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

[194] Aruch Hashulchan Yoreh Deah 387:3 regarding Aveilus of a pregnant woman; Toras Hayoledes 51:14; Piskeiy Teshuvos 559:4;

[195] As they are not doing so for pleasure but simply to remove discomfort.

[196] Michaber 382:2; Admur 614:5 regarding Yom Kippur

[197] The reason: As they are very sensitive to cold and leather shoes keep them warm. [Admur ibid]

^[198] Piskeiy Teshuvos 614:5; Nishmas Avraham 614:1; Nitei Gavriel 104:4 based on Mateh Efraim 614:3; Pnei Baruch 15 footnote 8; Rav Cohen

[199] Lehoros Nasan 2:37; Az Nidbaru 13:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 554:19

[200] Drashos Maharil Tisha Beav; Kaf Hachaim 559:40; Piskeiy Teshuvos 559:6

[201] Michaber 554:6; For a further understanding of such cases see Admur 617-618; See Toras Hayoledes 51:1

[202] Michaber ibid; Bach 554, brought in Darkei Moshe 554 and M”A 554:9

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule a Yoledes is obligated to fast once she is after seven days from birth. [M”A 554:9 in name of Rashal in Teshuvah; Levush 602, brought in Darkei Moshe ibid; Implication of P”M 554 A.A. 9 that we are only lenient by Nidche]

[203] Rama ibid; M”B 554:14; M”A ibid concludes “Each place is to follow his custom”; Bach ibid writes the custom is to fast after seven days even by the other fasts!

[204] Rama ibid

[205] Aruch Hashulchan 554:8 “Today heaven forbid a woman after birth to fast on Tisha B’av as they are weak and are certainly sick and therefore they are not to be allowed to fast”; Pnei Yehoshua 2:16; Avnei Nezer 540; Yabi Omer 5:50 even for Ashkenazim; Shevet Halevi 6:70 that by Tisha B’av Nidche they are not to fast; Piskeiy Teshuvos 554:7; So I received also from Rav Asher Lemel Hakohen

[206] Rashal ibid; M”A ibid that it depends on custom; Shvus Yaakov 3:37 implies to only be lenient by Nidche; Implication of P”M 554 A.A. 9 that we are only lenient by Nidche; Chayeh Adam 135:2; Kitzur SHU”A 124:6; Divrei Yatziv 233 [as today women are healthier than in previous times]; Shevet Halevi 6:70 is only lenient by Nidcheh

[207] M”B 554:13

[208] M”A 554:9; Shvus Yaakov ibid; P”M 554 A.A. 9; Shevet Halevi ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule a Yoledes is obligated to fast once she is after seven days from birth even on Tisha Beav Nidche. [M”A 554:9 in name of Rashal in Teshuvah]

[209] Admur 614:5; Michaber 614:3; See Toras Hayoledes 55:17

[210] The reason: As they are very sensitive to cold and leather shoes keep them warm. [ibid]

^[211] Piskeiy Teshuvos 614:5; Nishmas Avraham 614:1; Nitei Gavriel 104:4 based on Mateh Efraim 614:3; Pnei Baruch 15 footnote 8; Rav Cohen

[212] Aruch Hashulchan 613:9; See regarding that one who is sick, or contains a medical condition, may bathe for medical purposes: Admur 613:7; See M”A 551:40; Elya Raba 551:35; Chayeh Adam 133:19; Mahariy Bruno 12; Shaareiy Teshuvah 551:33; Tzeida Laderech Mamar 1 3:13; Derech Hachaim 7; Kitzur SHU”A 122:12; Kaf Hachaim 551:187; Shaar Hatziyon 551:94; Piskeiy Teshuvos 551:50; Nitei Gavriel 56:20; See Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Vol. 3 Erech Hirayon p. 21; See Toras Hayoledes 51:13; 55:13

[213] Admur 617:4; Toras Hayoledes 55

[214] Admur 617:4; M”B 617:10

^[215] Admur 617:5; Michaber 617:4; Terumos Hadeshen 148

Explanation: The days are calculated as weekdays and not by hours. Thus, only if she gave birth within two days before Yom Kippur does this apply. [Admur 617:5; For example; if Yom Kippur is on Wednesday night, and she gave birth on Monday night, then she does not need to fast. If, however, she gave birth on Monday afternoon she is no longer considered to be within three days of birth, even though 72 hours have not yet passed since she gave birth.]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule the days are calculated as 24 hours each, for a total of 72 hours from the time of birth. [M”B 617:13; See Kaf Hachaim 617:22; 330:21]

[216] Admur 618:1; Vetzaruch Iyun from 617:4 in which Admur rules regarding after 3 days for her to be fed less than the measurement of Kareis even if she says that she needs to eat.

[217] Admur 618:13; Kaf Hachaim 617:19; Yechaveh Daas 6:39

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that she is to be fed as usual, even more than the Shiur, if she does not voice an opinion. [Glosses Harav Frenkil; Shaar Hatizyon 617:12]

[218] A woman who is between 3-7 days after birth may at times be strong enough to fast, although at times the fast remains dangerous for her. This is dependent on the nature of the woman. It is for this reason that she is to be asked as to how she feels. [Aruch Hashulchan 617:4]

[219] Admur 617:4

^[220] These days are not 24-hour days, but weekdays, as explained in previous notes.

^[221] Requires Analyses: In 618:1 and 13 Admur rules that whenever she is being fed due to asking for food, then she is not fed in accordance to measurement of Kareis, but rather the food is placed in front of her and she is to be told to eat however much she feels that she needs to remove the danger, even if it is more than the measurement of Kareis. Vetzaruch Iyun why here do we feed her according to measurement?

[222] Admur 617:5

[223] Aruch Hashulchan 617:4

[224] Admur 617:5; 618:13 regarding less than Shiur

[225] Admur 617:4

[226] Meaning that seven weekdays have passed, including the day she gave birth which is counted as the first day. We do not count the days in 24 hours. [Admur 617:5]

[227] Admur 617:5; Michaber 617:4; Terumos Hadeshen 148

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the days are measured in 24 hours. [M”B 617:13; See Kaf Hachaim 617:22; 330:21]

[228] Biur Halacha 617 “Yoledes” in name of Sdei Chemed Mareches Yom Kippur 3:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 617:5

[229] Sdei Chemed ibid

[230] One who is slightly ill and is in need for milk products may be lenient to recite an after blessing, wash out the mouth, and wait one hour between milk and meat: Chochmas Adam 40:11; Igros Kodesh Rashab Halacha 35; Aruch Hashulchan 89:6; Amudei Hashulchan on Kitzur SHU”A 4; Ben Ish Chaiy Shelach 11; Zivcheiy Tzedek 89:11; Darkei Teshuvah 89:20; Kaf Hachaim 87:7 and 21 and 26; So rule regarding Meiy Chalav: Chasam Sofer Y.D. 73; Pischeiy Teshuvah 87:3; Nitei Gavriel 66:33

[231] See Nitei Gavriel 66:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 677:3; See however Toras Hayoledes 57

[232] One who is away from home and is staying alone, and not by a family or host, is obligated to light candles, even if his wife [or other family member] is lighting for him at home. [Michaber 677:1 regarding one who has a room with an opening to the outside; M”A 677:3 in name of Mahriy Viyaal 31; Maharil 145; M”B 677:7; Regarding that this applies even if he is married and his wife is lighting for him at home: Tur and Rambam, brought in Kaf Hachaim 677:9; Maharsham 4:146 [even if the Baal Habayis lights]; Chovas Hador 2 footnote 39; Piskeiy Teshuvos 677:3]

[233] Piskeiy Teshuvos 677:1 footnote 4

[234] See Nitei Gavriel 66:30-32; Toras Hayoledes 46-48; Our corresponding Sefer “The Pesach Seder”