Shemiras Eiynayim

Shemiras Eiynayim:

A. The prohibition:
The prohibition: It is forbidden to stare at the beauty of an Erva [which includes all girls who have reached the age of menstruation[1]].[2] One who stares at even the small finger of a woman with intent to benefit from it, is considered to have stared at her most intimate area.[3] [This applies whether the woman is a Jew or gentile.] It is forbidden to stare at the beauty of even a non-Erva unless one is doing so for marriage purposes, as explained in C. In all cases, it is forbidden to stare at a woman in a promiscuis fashion even if she is not an Erva and one may desire to marry her.[4][5]]

Biblical or Rabbinical: Some Poskim[6] rule it is a Biblical prohibition to look at any part of an Erva for pleasure.[7] Other Poskim[8] rule it is only a Rabbinical prohibition to do so. According to all opinions, it is only a Rabbinical prohibition to look at a single girl who is not an Erva [i.e. not a Niddah].[9] According to all opinions, it is a Biblical prohibition to entertain forbidden thoughts of any woman, even a single woman that is not an Erva.[10]

 

Q&A

Is the prohibition against staring [continuous looking] or even against innocent sight?[11]
Example: Must one close or lower his eyes upon seeing a woman? May one look at a woman upon talking to her?
The prohibition against looking at a woman only applies when staring at the woman for pleasure purposes and does not include merely seeing a woman while passing by or talking to her, if one has no intent to receive pleasure.[12] Nevertheless, it is proper to avoid even an innocent glance.[13] This certainly applies to a respected person.[14] Some Poskim[15] however learn that this allowance only applies to areas of a woman that are normal to be uncovered, while those areas that are normally covered may not be looked at even with an innocent glance. From other Poskim[16] it is evident that this applies even by a woman who is dressed immodest.

May one look at a woman while talking to her?[17]
It is permitted to look at a woman while one is talking to her. However, one may not talk to her regarding unnecessary matters.

 May one to walk in areas in which there are women who are not properly dressed?[18]
It is permitted for one to walk in areas in which women are not properly dressed if he is going there for a purpose and there is no other way to get to one’s destination. One who closes his eyes while walking and avoids seeing a woman as much as he can is considered a Chassid, and on him it says “Otzeim Eiynav Miros Bera.”[19] There is however no obligation to do so[20] [although it always remains forbidden to stare, as stated above]. If, however another path is available that does not contain immodest women, then one must go through the other path and if he doesn’t he is considered a Rasha. This applies even if one is sure of himself that he will not give into the temptation to look at women.[21] [The definition of another path available is that there is another viable option to reach one’s destination that will not take extra time or cost more money.[22]]

B. Punishment and reward:
The gravity of the sin: Looking at woman is one of the sins that is most difficult to do Teshuva for being that people think there is no true sin involved as they have not committed any act. In truth, it is a grave sin, and is the opening of all matters of immorality.[23] Chazal[24] state that whoever looks at Arayos his strength is lost.[25] This means that one who stares at a married women corrupts and weakness his G-dly soul and good inclination.[26] One who looks at woman will not be saved from judgment in Gihennom even if he has Torah and Maasim Toivim.[27] In Kabala it is explained that one who is accustomed to look at women and does not guard his eyes will be reincarnated into a Reiah.[28]

The reward for holding back: Chazal[29] state that whoever controls his eyes from looking at Arayos merits to receive the countenance of the Shechina.[30] This means that one who abstains from partaking in the pleasure of looking at a married woman merits to see and experience the pleasantness of Hashem.[31]

Be as light as an eagle:[32] One is to be as light as an eagle. This refers to one’s sight, that one should close his eyes to avoid viewing evil. Just like the eagle changes his glance very swiftly when he flies across the heavens, so too one should swiftly close one’s eyes when seeing evil.[33] Seeing evil is the beginning of sin, as the images which the eyes see is transformed into a desire of the heart which persuades one to sin.

 

 

Sparks of Chassidus

The Rebbe Rashab states the following message regarding the importance of Shemiras Eiynayim [guarding one’s eyes from seeing forbidden sights]:[34]
Forbidden sights and glances is the cause of all matters of evil, as the Sages state that the eyes and heart are the two instigators of sin, as one who looks in the end will come to sin. It is known that the main feeling of pleasure is found in the sense of sight; hence explaining why a blind person does not have pleasure in any matter [and is considered like dead]. It is for this reason that sight arouses pleasure in oneself. This is visibly witnessed even amongst those that are very distanced from evil, that they are able to be aroused towards evil through sight. It captures them into a bucket of filth and leads them to the depths of immorality. Therefore every person who cares for his soul and desires to prevent it from falling into the pits of impurity is to control his sense of sight. Even if this matter is very difficult for him to control, he should arouse within himself a mighty and powerful will to overcome it, having the knowledge of its importance. If one does not control his sight all of his service is considered like naught as he will be unable to affect any true inner feeling of service of G-d, and on the contrary he will descend in a downwards spiral from his level of service. Therefore one must express within himself the strongest will power to overcome it.

Ignore the scoffers: Even if doing so will make a mockery of himself in front of others he should pay them no attention. Is it not that with regards to material matters which relate to ones very life that one ignores the public opinion and acts in accordance to the way he is required to save himself? Certainly then one should do so with regards to spiritual matters which relate to the eternal life of the soul.

The battle is only in the initial moments: The difficulty in controlling ones sight is in truth only on the onset of one’s efforts to take control of his past nature, however with time he will become accustomed to it and its difficulty will cease.

Even a cold glance remains permanent within the soul: Even if one does not feel any conscious feeling or emotion upon glancing at  forbidden sights, he should be aware that in truth the sight that he views penetrates to the essence of pleasure that is found in his soul and will eventually, Heaven forefend, erupt itself into his conscious mind. In fact it is for this reason that he is glancing at the forbidden image despite him having no conscious pleasure from doing so, as the essence of his animal soul is so involved within the sight that it is unable at the current moment to reveal the pleasure to the conscious mind.[35]

In summary: “It is an obligation on every individual to overpower himself and control his sight and through doing so he will save his soul from evil and his service of Hashem will be appeasing and effect salvation within his soul”!

The eyes are considered blind for the moment of the forbidden glance:[36]
“In answer to your question regarding the matter of Shemiras Eiynayim, it is understood that there is no place to write this in letters besides for the fact that there is no need to do so being that the matter is explained in the teachings of Chassidus. In general the importance of it can be understood from the saying of the Sages that a blind man is considered like he is dead and hence staring at a forbidden matter which is contrary to the purpose of existence of the eyes is considered a temporary blindness, Heaven save us, and even worse so. It is not necessary to lengthen on this obvious matter.”

Crying is Tikkun for sins of sight:[37]
It states in Sifrei Mussar that crying is a Tikkun for the forbidden pleasures which one allowed his eyes to partake in. When one now uses his eyes to express complete pain it fixes this sin.

C. For purposes of marriage:[38]
It is permitted to look at a single girl to see if she is beautiful in order to marry her, whether she is a virgin or not. Furthermore, it is even proper to do so. It however remains forbidden to stare at such girls in a promiscuous fashion. On this the verse states “Bris Karisi Laeiynayim Umah Esbonan Al Besula.”

2. May a man see a young girl who is not modestly dressed not during times of prayer?[39]
It is forbidden for a man to look at an immodestly dressed girl, even if the girl is a very young age, starting from when the girl’s body is developed enough to cause attraction. If the girl’s body is not yet developed enough to cause attraction then it is permitted for a man to see her when he is not involved in Davening or Torah learning, and the laws of Shemiras Eiynayim do not apply.

3. May one take a male child to a women’s beach or vice versa?
Male children in female beach: From the letter of the law, there is no prohibition for male children to go to a female beach [such as with his mother, sister etc] prior to them reaching the age of Chinuch, and possibly up until the age of puberty.[40] Nevertheless, one is to be particular to educate his children from a young age in matters of Tzenius and Shemiras Eiynayim in order so they abide by these matters when they are older.[41] Many are accustomed to start being careful in this matter from when the son is age 2-3.[42] Some are even accustomed as a Midas Chassidus and an extra act of piety and purity to abstain from bringing even small male children of any age [even a new born] to a women’s beach in order to guard his eyes in holiness from the time of birth.[43] [Per the Rebbe’s directive of not seeing impure animals starting from birth, this would even more so apply regarding not seeing immodestly dressed women starting from birth.[44]]

Female children to male beach: Female children may not be brought to a male beach starting from age three, when they must follow the laws of modest dress.[45]

4. Seeing relatives unclothed:
A. May a man Daven or learn within sight of his daughter, sister or mother who is not fully dressed?
Adult relatives: It is forbidden for a man to learn Torah or pray or say a blessing within sight of an adult relative who has part of her body uncovered which must normally be covered due to Tznius. This includes all relatives, whether it be one’s mother, daughter, sister or wife. A girl is considered an adult in this regard when any of the above mentioned signs of adulthood are present, whether age [11 years old], puberty [hair], or maturity [shame]. [Thus, if the legs/feet[46], upper arm[47], or chest of these women are viewable, he may not Daven or learn until he turns away.[48]]

Children relatives: Some Poskim[49] rule it is permitted to learn Torah and Daven in view of a daughter [granddaughter, sister[50]] which is not modestly covered, if the girl is below the age of adulthood, as defined above [i.e. below age 11 and has not reached puberty or maturity].[51] Other Poskim[52] however argue and rule it is forbidden to Daven and learn in view of the improperly clothed female relative just like any other girl.[53] [Accordingly, once a daughter or sister have reached the age of three and above[54] one may no longer Daven or learn in their view when they are not properly covered.]

B. Until what age may parents see their children of opposite gender unclothed?
It is permitted for parents to see their children of the opposite gender unclothed until the child reaches the age or signs of adulthood.[55] Adulthood is defined either by age [i.e. 11 years old for a girl], puberty [i.e. pubic hair], or maturity [i.e. the child reaches an age that he is ashamed to be unclothed in from of the parent].[56] When any of the above-mentioned signs of adulthood is present, it is forbidden for the parent to see their child of the opposite gender unclothed.

C. May children see their parents of opposite gender unclothed?
From the letter of the law, it is permitted for children to see their parents of opposite gender unclothed until the child reaches the age or signs of adulthood.[57] The age of adulthood is defined either by age [i.e. 11 years old for a girl], puberty [i.e. pubic hair], or maturity [i.e. the child reaches an age that he is ashamed to be unclothed in from of the parent].[58] When any of the above-mentioned signs of adulthood is present, it is forbidden for a child to see his parent of the opposite gender unclothed.[59] Furthermore, once a male child reaches this age, it is forbidden for him to see even his father unclothed.[60] Nevertheless, many are accustomed as a Midas Chassidus and an extra act of piety and purity to abstain from allowing even small children of the opposite gender from seeing their parents unclothed from the time of birth.[61] [Per the Rebbe’s directive of not seeing impure animals starting from birth, this would even more so apply regarding not seeing immodestly dressed man/women starting from birth.[62]]

D. Until what age may parents bathe their children, and may they shower together?
From the letter of the law, it is permitted for parents to bathe their children of opposite gender until the child reaches the age or signs of adulthood.[63] The same applies regarding showering together that so long as the child has not reached the age of adulthood, it is permitted. The age of adulthood is defined either by age [i.e. 11 years old for a girl], puberty [i.e. pubic hair], or maturity [i.e. the child reaches an age that he is ashamed to be unclothed in from of the parent].[64] When any of the above-mentioned signs of adulthood is present, it is forbidden for a parent to see his child of the opposite gender unclothed, and it is forbidden for the child to see his parent of the opposite gender unclothed. Furthermore, once a male child reaches this age, it is forbidden for him to see even his father unclothed.[65] Midas Chassidus regarding showering together: Many are accustomed as a Midas Chassidus and an extra act of piety and purity to abstain from allowing even small children of the opposite gender from seeing their parents unclothed from the time of birth.[66] [Per the Rebbe’s directive of not seeing impure animals starting from birth, this would even more so apply regarding not seeing immodestly dressed man/women starting from birth.[67]]

E. Until what age may siblings of opposite gender bathe together:
It is possible to learn that it is permitted for siblings of opposite gender to bathe together until the child reaches the age or signs of adulthood.[68] The age of adulthood is defined either by age [i.e. 11 years old for a girl], puberty [i.e. pubic hair], or maturity [i.e. the child reaches an age that he is ashamed to be unclothed in from of others].[69] When any of the above-mentioned signs of adulthood is present, it is forbidden for them to bathe together. Nevertheless, practically, parents are to educate their children to avoid bathing together even from a much younger age. Furthermore, many are accustomed as a Midas Chassidus and an extra act of piety and purity to abstain from allowing even small children from seeing others of the opposite gender unclothed from the time of birth.[70] [Per the Rebbe’s directive of not seeing impure animals starting from birth, this would even more so apply regarding not seeing immodestly dressed man/women starting from birth.[71]]

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[1] M”B 75/7

[2] Michaber E.H. 21/1; Braisa in Avos Derebbe Nasan; See Eiruvin 18b “One who gives money to a woman in order to look at her, is not saved from judgment of Gihennom”; Nedarim 20a “One who stares at women in the end will come to sin.”; Avoda Zara 20a “One may not stare at a beautiful woman even if she is single, and may not stare at a married woman even if ugly”; M”B 75/7                  

                                                                                                                                       

[3] Michaber E.H. 21/1; Rav Sheshes in Shabbos 64b

[4] Michaber E.H. 21/3

The reason: On this the verse states “Bris Karisi Laeiynayim Umah Esbonan Al Besula.” [Michaber ibid]

[5] Avoda Zara 20a “One may not stare at a beautiful woman even if she is single, and may not stare at a married woman even if ugly”

[6] Michaber Even Haezer 21/1; Tur 21/1 as explained in Perisha 21/2; Riy, brought in Beis Shmuel 21/2; Orchos Chaim 2/13; Rabbeinu Yona Igesres Hateshuvah 19/20, brought in Beis Yosef 21; M”B 75/7

[7] The reason: It is Biblically prohibited to look at an Erva due to the verse “Lo Sasuru Acharei Levachem Veachareiy Einechem”. [Riy, brought in Beis Shmuel 21/2; Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim; M”B 75/7]

[8] Rambam, brought in Beis Shmuel 21/2

[9] Beis Shmuel 21/2; Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim

The reason: This is learned from Divrei Kabala [i.e. prophets] in the verse in Iyov 31/1 “Bris Karisi Lieiynaiy Umah Esbonan Al Besula” [Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim]

[10] Beis Shmuel 21/2; Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim “It is more severe to have forbidden thoughts of a Penuya than to even touch her, as through thinking one transgresses a Biblical negative command, as the verse states “Vinishmartem Mikol Davar Ra.”

[11] See Piskeiy Tehsuvos 75/6-7; Nitei Gavriel Yichud 55/3

[12] Admur 75/1 “Some Poskim permit Davening opposite the uncovered area of a woman if he does not stare at her, even though he sees it at a glance, as the entire prohibition is due to it causing forbidden thoughts, and only staring can cause forbidden thoughts.”; So rule: Rabbeinu Yona Brachos 25; Rambam Shema 3/16; Beis Yosef 75 in name of Rabbeinu Yona; Makor Chesed on Sefer Chassidim 9/2 that “Histaklus” means to stare; Sefer Chassidim 1000 that may look at woman while talking to her; Rosh brought in Sefer Chassidim Tinyana 99 that whenever it says Histaklus means stare, and hence an innocent glance at a woman is permitted; [See however Smeh C.M. 154/14 who says Histaklus means a mere look and not stare, while Reiyah means to stare.]; Rashal Kesubos 2/11; Yosef Ometz 474; P”M 75 M”Z 1 “If he sees and gets pleasure he transgresses and if not it is permitted”; M”B 75/7 “A mere unintentional glance alone without pleasure is permitted”; Emek Sheila 52/1; Salmas Chaim 438 [685]; Piskeiy Teshuvos 75/6-7; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel Yichud 55/3 footnote 6; Story in Avoda Zara 20a that Tanaim said “Mah Rabu Maasecha Hashem when saw beautiful woman”; 

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to look at a woman even as a mere innocent glance. [Implication of Avoda Zara ibid; Chida in Pesach Eiynaim 20b; See Kaf Hachaim 75/7; Igros Moshe O.C. 1/40 that a Rav may not look at the face of a woman asking him a Shaala; E.H. 1/56]

[13] M”B ibid; Igros Moshe 40

[14] M”B ibid in name of Minchas Shmuel

[15] P”M 75 M”Z 1; Tzelach Brachos 24a; M”B 75/7

[16] From Admur ibid and Rabbeinu Yona it is clearly implied that even one who sees a normally covered area, the prohibition is only if one stares.

[17] Sefer Chassidim 1000

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to look at a woman even as a mere innocent glance. [Implication of Avoda Zara ibid; Chida in Pesach Eiynaim 20b; See Kaf Hachaim 75/7; Igros Moshe O.C. 1/40 that a Rav may not look at the face of a woman asking him a Shaala; E.H. 1/56]

[18] Baba Basra 57b; See also Bava Kama 48a

[19] Gemara ibid as explained in Rashbam; See also Brachos 62b that when walking outside, one is to avoid looking in areas where women are found.

[20] Gemara ibid

The reason: As he is Annus, and in a case of Onnes the Torah exempts from liability. [ibid]

[21] Rashbam ibid

[22] Piskeiy Teshuvos 75/6 footnote 65

[23] Rambam Teshuva 4/4

[24] Sanhedrin 92a

[25] See Rashi ibid for two explanations there

[26] Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim

[27] Eiruvin 18b;  M”B 75/7

[28] Shaar Hagilgulim of Arizal, brought in Sefer Chareidim 33

[29] Midrash Raba Acharei Mos 23/13

[30] This is learned from the verse  [Yeshayahu 33/15] “Otzem Eiynav Meros Bera” and it then says in verse 33/17 “Melech Beyafyo Sechezena Eiynecha.” [Midrash ibid]

[31] Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim

[32] Tur and Beis Yosef O.C. 1

Opinion of Admur: The above explanations are taken from the Tur, and are not mentioned by Admur. Possibly the reason for this is because Admur follows the order of the Michaber and Rama, which also did not explain the above. [Ketzos Hashulchan 1 footnote 3]

Opinion of Bartenura: Rabbeinu Ovadia Bartenura comments on this statement that it refers to that one should review his studies and this will cause him to effortlessly be expert in the topic.

[33] So is implied from commentary of Beis Yosef on the Tur. As for why the term “light” was used, seemingly this is saying that just like the eagle due to his lightness is able to fly quickly past sightings, so too one’s eyes are to be light and swiftly turn away from viewing evil.

[34] Kuntrus Haavoda p. 11: Below is a free translation of selected parts of the Mamar. For the full version of the words of the Rebbe Rashab on this topic refer to the original Kuntrus.

[35] A proof for this can be found in the Mishneh [Zavim 2/2] that one can see an emission from merely seeing an immoral sight even if he did not think about it. From this we learn the great care one must take to control his sense of sight. [Rebbe in his glosses on Taharas Yom Tov Vol. 9 p. 19; printed in Igros Kodesh]

[36] Igros Kodesh 19 p. 344 [letter 7342]

[37] Derech Chaim 20b

[38] Michaber E.H. 21/3; Kiddushin 41a

[39] Halichos Shlomo 20/9; Piskeiy Teshuvos 75/8 footnote 89

[40] We do not find mention in Poskim with regards to the age from which a child must be educated not to see women unclothed. Thus, we are left to maintain the general rules of Chinuch, of which for a negative command begins from approximately the age of two-three. [See Admur 343/3 regarding Chinuch for negative commands beginning from the age he understands the words “this is forbidden to do” and thi is approximately from age 2-3.] Nevertheless, perhaps regarding these issues of Arayos, we begin from a later age as there is absolutely no Hirhur at this time, just as we find that the Poskim [Rashal Kedushin 22 based on Smag; Dvar Halacha 2/8; Shraga Hameir 8/126; Halichos Bas Yisrael 8:2] rule that children may have Yichud together and do not have to be educated to avoid it until they reach Bar/Bas Mitzvah. Vetzaruch Iyun, as perhaps the same should apply here as well that even after reaching the age of Chinuch from the letter of the law children do not have to be educated in Shemiras Eiynayim. However once a child has reached puberty, or Bar/Bas Mitzvah certainly a prohibition would apply.

[41] Sefer Chassidim 10 “and not seeing women…one is to educate his children from a young age in order so when he becomes older he not stumble”; Salmas Chaim 689 [Hilchos Harchaka Min Arayos 64]; Mishnhe Halachos 12/296

[42] Chazon Ish [brought in Piskeiy Teshuvos 75/7 footnote 76] states that one is to be careful in this beginning from age 2-3, when the child is already able to remember sights that they see.

[43] The reason: As everything a child sees, even from a young age, is encrypted in his mind, and hence it is proper to abstain them from seeing anything which can ignite their Yetzer Hara when they are older. [see Kav Hayashar 2; Hisvadyus 1984 20th Marchesvan 37 regarding impure animal]

[44] See Rebbe in Sicha ibid who references to Kav Hayshar ibid that one is not to look at impure animals being it becomes encrypted in one’s mind and will affect them when older. Thus, certainly one is to be careful in seeing immodest women, as it will effect them when older. The Rebbe at first states that one is to be careful in this matter beginning from age of Chinuch, and then states that one is to be careful even by a new born, and the Kav Yashar states that the primary cause of making one stumble in looking at women is not being careful in not seeing impure animals. Thus, certainly one should abstain even an infant from seeing immodest women.

[45] So rule regarding a man praying or learning in presence of a three year old girl who is not modestly dressed: Biur Halacha 75/1 “Tefach Megula” in name of Shulchan Shlomo; Ketzos Hashulchan Vol 1, Haaros Page 90 in name of Chayeh Adam [that from 3 years old a girl is considered an Ervah regarding Shema and Torah learning]; Shut Daas Sofer 1/11; Ben Ish Chaiy Bo 8 brought in Kaf Hachaim 75/10 [concludes to be stringent when possible]; Halichos Shlomo 20/9 in name of Rav SZ”A; Az Nidbaru 13/1; The Rebbe in a letter in Likutei Sichos [18 p 448] writes that according to Shulchan Aruch the age of Tznius needs to begin at three years old and a day, although one should not be oppressive about this and should speak in a pleasant way. [For a translation of the letter see “Beautiful within” page 39]; See letter of Rav Farkash in “The Jewel of our Crown” page 79; Chesed Lealafim 75/8, brought in Kaf Hachaim 75/10, leaves this matter in question regarding any Ketana; Ashel Avraham of Butchach 75 brings sides to be stringent and lenient in this matter. See Piskeiy Teshuvos 75/8 footnote 82aa

Other opinions: The Chazon Ish [16/9] famously ruled that the laws of modesty for a girl do not begin from age 3 but rather from a later age from when their bodies are developed enough to cause men to have desire for them. [6/7].

[46] See Admur 75/1 that this applies even when there is less than a Tefach of revealed skin

[47] See Admur 75/1 that this applies only when there is a Tefach of revealed skin

[48] Admur 75/1

[49] Biur Halacha 75/1 “Tefach” in name of Shulchan Shlomo

[50] Piskeiy Teshuvos 75/9 in name of Birur Halacha

[51] The reason: As they compare the law of learning in front of a Erva [brought in chapter 75] to the law of sleeping together with family [Chapter 73], and just like relatives may sleep together and say Shema even unclothed until the age of adulthood, so too he may Daven and learn in view of her until the age of adulthood. [See also M”A 74/9 towards end who also suggests such a connection]

[52] Chazon Ish 16/9; Neziros Shimshon; Or Letziyon 2/6; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 75/9; See Birur Halacha

[53] The reason: As the allowance of 73/3 is only regarding learning and Davening while skin is touching and not regarding seeing the unclothed part. [ibid]

[54] See Q&A regarding the age of Tzenius, and Issur of learning/Davening for a Ketana

[55] This law is not mentioned explicitly in Poskim although is derived from the following other laws mentioned: a) Prohibition to sleep together unclothed once the child reaches signs of adulthood. [Michaber Even Haezer 21/7; Michaber 73/3-4 and Admur 73/3 regarding Shema; See M”A 73/2 regarding seeming contradiction from Shema source; For possible answers of contradiction: See Perisha E.H. 21; Elya Raba 73/5, explained in previous footnotes] b) Prohibition to learn or Daven in presence of unclothed relative once she reaches age of adulthood, according to all Poskim. [See previous Q&A] From the above two sources it can be understood that it is also forbidden for a parent to see his child of opposite gender unclothed once he reaches the age/signs of adulthood.

[56] See previous Halacha’s where the age and signs of adulthood were discussed in length!

[57] This law is not mentioned explicitly in Poskim although is derived from the following other law mentioned: Prohibition to sleep together unclothed once the child reaches signs of adulthood. [Michaber Even Haezer 21/7; Michaber 73/3-4 and Admur 73/3 regarding Shema; See M”A 73/2 regarding seeming contradiction from Shema source; For possible answers of contradiction: See Perisha E.H. 21; Elya Raba 73/5, explained in previous footnotes] From the above source it can be understood that it is forbidden for a child to see his parent of opposite gender unclothed once he reaches the age/signs of adulthood.

[58] See previous Halacha’s where the age and signs of adulthood were discussed in length!

[59] This prohibition would fall under the parents obligation of Chinuch for Shemiras Eiyanyim

[60] See regarding prohibition of bathing together: Rama E.H. 23/6 and Y.D. 242/16; Pesachim 51a

The reason: This is forbidden due to that it leads to forbidden thoughts. [Rama ibid] As one thinks of how he was born from his father. [Rashi Pesachim ibid]

[61] The reason: As everything a child sees, even from a young age, is encrypted in his mind, and hence it is proper to abstain them from seeing anything which can ignite their Yetzer Hara when they are older. [see Kav Hayashar 2; Hisvadyus 1984 20th Marchesvan 37 regarding impure animal]

[62] See Rebbe in Sicha ibid who references to Kav Hayshar ibid that one is not to look at impure animals being it becomes encrypted in one’s mind and will affect them when older. Thus, certainly one is to be careful in seeing immodest women, as it will affect them when older. The Rebbe at first states that one is to be careful in this matter beginning from age of Chinuch, and then states that one is to be careful even by a new born, and the Kav Yashar states that the primary cause of making one stumble in looking at women is not being careful in not seeing impure animals. Thus, certainly one should abstain even an infant from seeing immodest women.

[63] This law is not mentioned explicitly in Poskim although is derived from the following other law mentioned: Prohibition to sleep together unclothed once the child reaches signs of adulthood. [Michaber Even Haezer 21/7; Michaber 73/3-4 and Admur 73/3 regarding Shema; See M”A 73/2 regarding seeming contradiction from Shema source; For possible answers of contradiction: See Perisha E.H. 21; Elya Raba 73/5, explained in previous footnotes] From the above source it can be understood that it is forbidden for a child to see his parent of opposite gender unclothed once he reaches the age/signs of adulthood.

[64] See previous Halacha’s where the age and signs of adulthood were discussed in length!

[65] See regarding prohibition of bathing together: Rama E.H. 23/6 and Y.D. 242/16; Pesachim 51a

The reason: This is forbidden due to that it leads to forbidden thoughts. [Rama ibid] As one thinks of how he was born from his father. [Rashi Pesachim ibid]

[66] The reason: As everything a child sees, even from a young age, is encrypted in his mind, and hence it is proper to abstain them from seeing anything which can ignite their Yetzer Hara when they are older. [see Kav Hayashar 2; Hisvadyus 1984 20th Marchesvan 37 regarding impure animal]

[67] See Rebbe in Sicha ibid who references to Kav Hayshar ibid that one is not to look at impure animals being it becomes encrypted in one’s mind and will affect them when older. Thus, certainly one is to be careful in seeing immodest women, as it will affect them when older. The Rebbe at first states that one is to be careful in this matter beginning from age of Chinuch, and then states that one is to be careful even by a new born, and the Kav Yashar states that the primary cause of making one stumble in looking at women is not being careful in not seeing impure animals. Thus, certainly one should abstain even an infant from seeing immodest women.

[68] This law is not mentioned explicitly in Poskim although is derived from the following other law mentioned: Prohibition to sleep together unclothed once a child reaches signs of adulthood. [Michaber Even Haezer 21/7; Michaber 73/3-4 and Admur 73/3 regarding Shema; See M”A 73/2 regarding seeming contradiction from Shema source; For possible answers of contradiction: See Perisha E.H. 21; Elya Raba 73/5, explained in previous footnotes] From the above source it can be understood that it is forbidden for siblings to see each other unclothed once he reaches the age/signs of adulthood.

[69] See previous Halacha’s where the age and signs of adulthood were discussed in length!

[70] The reason: As everything a child sees, even from a young age, is encrypted in his mind, and hence it is proper to abstain them from seeing anything which can ignite their Yetzer Hara when they are older. [see Kav Hayashar 2; Hisvadyus 1984 20th Marchesvan 37 regarding impure animal]

[71] See Rebbe in Sicha ibid who references to Kav Hayshar ibid that one is not to look at impure animals being it becomes encrypted in one’s mind and will affect them when older. Thus, certainly one is to be careful in seeing immodest women, as it will affect them when older. The Rebbe at first states that one is to be careful in this matter beginning from age of Chinuch, and then states that one is to be careful even by a new born, and the Kav Yashar states that the primary cause of making one stumble in looking at women is not being careful in not seeing impure animals. Thus, certainly one should abstain even an infant from seeing immodest women.

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