From the Rav’s Desk: 1) Breaking plates by Lechaim if parents not present; 2) Listening to daughter sing

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  1. Question: [Tuesday, 9th Mar Cheshvan, 5781]

Should the plates be broken by a Lechaim even if the parents are not present? Due to covid, we are having a young peoples only engagement celebration and neither mine or her parents will be present. What should we do about breaking the plate?

 

Answer:

The plate is to be broken specifically at the engagement party as a sign of mourning by another delegated individual, such as a female friend or relative of the Chasan’s side and a female friend or relative of the Kallahs side. It can also be done by two males or even a single male, but should not be done by a male and female together due to reasons of Tzenius.

Sources: See Rama O.C. 560:2; E.H. 65:3; Elya Raba 560:7; P”M 560 M”Z 4; Shaareiy Teshuvah 560:3; Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 50:26; Shulchan Haezer p. 52a; Nitei Gavriel Shidduchin 32:1-5 footnotes 4-5

  1. Question: [Tuesday, 9th Mar Cheshvan, 5781]

Shalom Rabbi Goldstein, 

 

Is it permitted for a father to hear his wife or his daughter sing?

 

Answer:

Wife: Yes with exception to times of Davening or Torah learning, unless is Nida

Daughter: Debate if permitted by adult daughter during Davening/learning. Seemingly outside of this time is permitted, assuming it does not cause any forbidden thoughts, just as hugging an adult daughter is permitted. Certainly, it is permitted by a daughter who is still a child.

Sources: See here: https://shulchanaruchharav.com/halacha/listening-to-ones-wife-sing/ and here

https://shulchanaruchharav.com/halacha/may-a-man-daven-or-learn-torah-while-hearing-his-daughter-sister-or-mother-singing-or-davening-out-loud-in-a-song/

About The Author

Rabbi Yaakov Goldstein is a 6th generation descendent of the famous Chief Rabbi of Izhmir, Rav Yehoshua Avraham Krispin, who authored a number of Sefarim, and was a colleague of Rav Chaim Falagi, and father in-law of the Pesach Hadvir. He currently lives with his wife Shayna, and twelve children K”H, in Tzfas, Israel. Rabbi Goldstein received Semicha from Rabbi Schneur Zalman Labkowski of the Tomchei Temimim headquarters in 2005 and served as a chaplain in the Lotar/Kalatz and K9 unit of the IDF from years 2005-2008. He is also a certified Shochet, and has performed Hashgacha work in slaughterhouses. Rabbi Goldstein is the director of Shulchanaruchharav.com, the world’s leading web-based Halacha database, and is the director of the Home Study Semicha Program, a self-study web-based Semicha program. He is a prolific author of over 50 Sefarim studied by a wide range of readers throughout the world, which is used regularly in Semicha programs around the globe. He is a world renowned Posek, answering questions to a web-based market, and serves as a local Posek, Rav, and Lecturer, in the Tzemach Tzedek community Shul in Tzefas, Israel. His many classes can be heard both from his website, Vimeo and YouTube channel. Students can join live to classes given in the Tzemach Tzedek Shul, through the “בית חבד צפת Chabad Tsfat” YouTube channel.

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