0. Kibbud Av Va’eim-Introduction

Introduction 1. The verses in scripture: In scripture there are a number of commands and statements recorded in relation to one’s parents. The command of respecting one’s parents is recorded in two different areas in Scripture within the 10 Commandments. The first verse is in Parshas Yisro, in the list […]

Must one immerse a peeler in the Mikveh?

Question: Must one immerse a peeler in the Mikveh?   Answer:               Yes. If it will be also used for peeling foods that are edible raw, such as an Apple or carrot and the like, then it is to be immersed with a blessing. However, if it will only be used […]

May one answer Amen in middle of Yishtabach?

Question: May one answer Amen Yihei Shmei Raba for Kaddish in middle of the blessing of Yishtabach?   Answer:               No. Once one has begun the words of Baruch Ata Hashem in the conclusion of the blessing, one may no longer answer for a regular Amen. However, it is disputed amongst […]

Honoring one’s parent during a meal

Honoring one’s parent during a meal:[1] One should precede his parent prior to other people regarding all matters. Preceding by a meal:[2] Thus, for example, by a meal that the child is hosting the father and mother should receive their food portion prior to others and should receive the best […]

Honoring during business and chore performance

Honoring during business and chore performance:[1] One is obligated to respect his parents during his business dealings and performance of chores. Hence, if one is in need of a certain matter from another person, then he should request from them to do it out of respect for his father [as […]

Standing in honor of a parent

* This article is an excerpt from the above Sefer Check out our Amazon Sefarim Shop *As an Amazon Associate I earn from  qualifying purchases. WhatsApp Facebook Twitter Telegram Sponsor an Article Standing in honor of a parent:[1] A. The obligation:[2] One is [Biblically[3]] obligated to stand for his father […]

Making parent work hard for his benefit

Making parent work hard for his benefit:[1] One who makes his father [or mother] perform hard labor [i.e. grind flour in a mill] in order to save his parent from an even more difficult labor, and the child speaks appealingly to his father’s heart, and shows him that his intent […]

Supporting one’s parents and giving them Tzedaka

* This article is an excerpt from the above Sefer Check out our Amazon Sefarim Shop *As an Amazon Associate I earn from  qualifying purchases. WhatsApp Facebook Twitter Telegram Sponsor an Article Supporting one’s parents and giving them Tzedaka:[1] If one’s parents cannot afford to support themselves, then if the […]

Paying off one’s parents debt

Paying off one’s parents debt:[1] A child is not obligated to pay off his father’s debt, unless his father has passed away and he has inherited money from his father. There is not even a Mitzvah involved in using his own money to pay it off. _____________________________________ [1] Admur C.M. […]

Living near one’s parents

Living near one’s parents:[1] It is proper for one to live near his parents in order so one can properly honor them and help them with their needs. This especially applies once parents are old. Nonetheless, this is not necessarily an obligation, and it all depends on the circumstance of […]

Visiting one’s parents on occasion

Visiting one’s parents on occasion:[1] It is a mitzvah for one to visit his parents on occasion and whoever increases in doing so is praised. The frequency of the visitations: The frequency of the visitations is all dependent on the norm for one’s society in the relationship of a parent […]

Housing one’s parent in one’s own home

Housing one’s parent in one’s own home: Seemingly, included in the command of honoring one’s parents through entering and leaving, is to house one’s parents in his own home, if he does not wish to rent them a home, or if they cannot afford it. The same applies if the […]

Speech-Honoring one’s parents through speech

Speech-Honoring one’s parents through speech:[1] A. Speaking respectfully:[2] Included in the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents is to speak to them with respect. One is to speak with them in a soft and appeasing tone with true Derech Eretz, as if one is talking to the king. This in fact […]

Speaking respectfully to one’s parents

Speaking respectfully to one’s parents:[1] Included in the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents is to speak to them with respect. One is to speak with them in a soft and appeasing tone with true Derech Eretz, as if one is talking to the king. This in fact is the main […]

Protesting someone who defames one’s parent

Protesting someone who defames one’s parent:[1] It is a mitzvah on one who hears a person defaming his parent to protest against him, and to defend his parents from the libel.[2] A child does not have the right to forgive his parents honor in these matters.[3] Nonetheless, if one knows […]

Not to cause pain to one’s father or mother

Not to cause pain to one’s father or mother:[1]                                            It is forbidden for one to cause pain to one’s parents. This prohibition applies even after their death being that they are aware of what happens in this world.[2] This prohibition is included within the mitzvah to honor one’s parents.[3] Some […]

Love-Loving one’s parents

Love-Loving one’s parents:[1] The Zohar[2] describes the relationship between a child and parent as follows: “A son who cares after his father and mother whom he loves more than his own body and soul and all of his possessions are like nonexistent in the face of using them to give […]

Personally answering the door for your parent

Personally answering the door for your parent:[1] Rebbe Avahu stated: One should honor his parent as did my son Avimi. My son Avimi had five sons in the lifetime of his father, and nonetheless when his father Rebbe Avahu would come knocking on the door, he would personally run up […]

The Mitzvah of honoring one’s parents

The Mitzvah of honoring one’s parents:[1]   Honoring one’s father and mother is a positive command in the Torah[2], and is listed as the fifth of the 10 Commandments. [The command of honoring one’s parents is listed by the Rambam as the 210th Command of the Torah.[3]] Not in front […]

Commending their words and agreeing with their opinion

Commending their words and agreeing with their opinion:[1] One may not arbitrate like his parents’ opinion in their presence, such as to say, “My father’s opinion seems correct.” [However, one may do so when not in front of his parents.[2] Likewise, one may bring proofs to their opinion.[3]] _______________________________________ [1] […]

Father and son bathing together

Father and son bathing together:[1] The Talmud[2] prohibits one from bathing together with his father or stepfather[3], or father in-law[4], or sister’s husband [i.e., brother in-law].[5] One was already in the bathhouse when relative arrived:[6] If one was already in the bathhouse and one of these above relatives arrive, he […]

Accepting abuse from parent with silence

Accepting abuse from parent with silence:[1] A. Tearing child’s clothing and shaming him in public:[2] One’s fear of his parents must extend to the point that even if he was wearing elegant clothing and sitting at the head of the congregation, and his father or mother came and tore his […]

Taking one’s father to court

1. Taking one’s father to court:[1] It is permitted to take one’s father [or mother[2], or Rebbe[3]] to court to file a monetary claim against them. For example, if one’s father damaged one’s item, one may take him to court to force him to pay for the damages. [However, some […]

Correcting a parent for a mistaken Torah statement

Correcting a parent for a mistaken Torah statement:[1] If one heard his parent say an incorrect and inaccurate Torah statement, he is not to tell the parent “Do not make this statement/Lo Tisni Hachi.” [Rather, he should simply say the accurate teaching in a respectful manner.[2]] _____________________________ [1] Michaber 240:11; […]

Reprimanding a parent for transgressing Jewish law

Reprimanding a parent for transgressing Jewish law:[1] One who witnesses his parent transgressing words of the Torah should not explicitly tell him, “You have transgressed the words of the Torah.” Rather, one is to say, “Father, is it not written in the Torah such and such?” making it as if […]

Leaving one’s father’s presence

Leaving one’s father’s presence:[1] Some Poskim[2] write that one should not get up to leave his father’s presence without asking his permission to do so. Practically, however, the custom is not to be particular in this.[3] _______________________ [1] See Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:5 See Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Morah Av Vaeim Vol. […]

Saying the name of one’s parent

Saying the name of one’s parent:[1] A. Calling them, or referring to them, by their name:[2] It is [Biblically[3]] forbidden to call one’s parent [father or mother[4]] by their name.[5] [This applies even not in their presence, and even if they have a common name.[6]] After death: This prohibition of […]

Sitting next to one’s parent by the table

Sitting next to one’s parent by the table:[1] Some Poskim[2] rule that a son may not sit next to his father without a person in between. Nonetheless, practically we rule that one may be lenient in this and so is the custom, especially when in private, as the parents forgive […]

Standing or sitting in their designated area

Standing or sitting in their designated area:[1] A. Standing in one’s parents designated place for standing:[2] One may not stand in the area that is designated for his father [or mother[3]] to stand when having discussions with friends [i.e. Sod Zikeinim][4], or in the designated area that he stands when […]

Matters of fear that one is obligated towards his parents

Matters of fear that one is obligated towards his parents:[1] The basic difference between the command of honor versus fear:[2] The basic difference between the command to honor one’s parents versus the command to fear one’s parents is that the command to honor one’s parents involves the performance of certain […]

The Mitzvah to fear one’s parents

The Mitzvah to fear one’s parents:[1] Fearing one’s father and mother is a positive command in the Torah.[2] The command of fearing one’s parents is listed by the Rambam as the 211th Command of the Torah. The intent of the command to fear one’s parents is that one should act […]

Is fasting today optional or obligatory?

Question: [Thursday, 17th Tamuz, 5783] I heard someone quote that in today’s times fasting is no longer obligatory and is only a custom? Is there any truth to this? Answer: While this may be theoretically accurate, it is practically false, and all Torah observant Jews are obligated to fast by […]

Sister-Honoring one’s older sister

Sister-Honoring one’s older sister:[1] Some Poskim[2] rule that a person is not obligated in the honor of his older sister even if she is the firstborn. Nonetheless, even according to this opinion, he should show her extra respect and not talk before she does. However, other Poskim[3] rule that one […]

Stepfather and Stepmother-Honoring the spouse of one’s parent

Stepfather and Stepmother-Honoring the spouse of one’s parent:[1] Father’s wife: A person is [Biblically[2]] obligated to honor his father’s wife even though she is not his mother [i.e., stepmother].[3] This applies so long as one’s father is alive, as explained below. [The child is obligated to honor his stepmother with […]

Children who do not get along with their parents

Children who do not get along with their parents: A. Narcissistic parents-May one distance himself from his parents if they have bad character traits and cause him much pain?[1] Yes. It is permitted for a son or daughter to distance themselves from their parent if the parent is of bad […]

Adopted children honoring parents

Adopted children honoring parents:[1] A. Adoptive Parents-Is an adopted child obligated in the laws of Kibbud Av Vaeim towards his adoptive parents?[2] Although a person who adopts an orphan is considered like one who has given birth to him[3], nonetheless, a child who was adopted is not obligated in the […]

Meaning of Es Vaheiv Basufa

Question: [Wednesday, 16th Tamuz, 5783] I have heard many times the words from Scripture of Es Vaheiv Basufa be used to describe peaceful relations between two people who were in a fight or between two scholars who argue with each other. Can you clarify how this verse hints to this […]

Child of a gentile mother and Jewish father:

Child of a gentile mother and Jewish father:[1] A person’s son from a maidservant [i.e., Shifcha Kenanis] or from a Gentile woman [is not considered Jewish and hence] is not liable [for hitting or cursing] his father or mother. [Likewise, this child who is a Gentile is not obligated in […]

Child before the age of Mitzvos:

Child before the age of Mitzvos:[1] A child was below the age of Bar/Bas Mitzvah is exempt from the mitzvah of honoring his parents just like he is exempt from all mitzvot of the Torah.[2] However, some Poskim[3] rule that although a child is not punished for not doing this […]

Mechila- Forgiving your honor as a parent:

Mechila- Forgiving your honor as a parent:[1] A father who forgives his honor, his honor is forgiven. [Thus, if one understands from his parent that they do not desire a certain matter of excessive respect that their son shows them, then the son may abstain from doing so.[2] This, however, […]

Doing the Mitzvah in a happy spirit:

Doing the Mitzvah in a happy spirit:[1] One is to serve his parents with a positive and happy attitude [i.e., Sever Panim Yafos]. One who serves and honors their parents with a negative attitude [i.e., Panim Zoafos] is [not considered to have fulfilled the mitzvah of honoring his parents at […]