- Shemiras Eiynayim:
- The prohibition:
The prohibition: It is forbidden to stare at the beauty of an Erva [which includes all girls who have reached the age of menstruation[1]].[2] One who stares at even the small finger of a woman with intent to benefit from it, is considered to have stared at her most intimate area.[3] [This applies whether the woman is a Jew or gentile.] It is forbidden to stare at the beauty of even a non-Erva unless one is doing so for marriage purposes, as explained in C. In all cases, it is forbidden to stare at a woman in a promiscuis fashion even if she is not an Erva and one may desire to marry her.[4][5]]
Biblical or Rabbinical: Some Poskim[6] rule it is a Biblical prohibition to look at any part of an Erva for pleasure.[7] Other Poskim[8] rule it is only a Rabbinical prohibition to do so. According to all opinions, it is only a Rabbinical prohibition to look at a single girl who is not an Erva [i.e. not a Niddah].[9] According to all opinions, it is a Biblical prohibition to entertain forbidden thoughts of any woman, even a single woman that is not an Erva.[10]
| Q&A Is the prohibition against staring [continuous looking] or even against innocent sight?[11] Ø Example: Must one close or lower his eyes upon seeing a woman? May one look at a woman upon talking to her? The prohibition against looking at a woman only applies when staring at the woman for pleasure purposes and does not include merely seeing a woman while passing by or talking to her, if one has no intent to receive pleasure.[12] Nevertheless, it is proper to avoid even an innocent glance.[13] This certainly applies to a respected person.[14] Some Poskim[15] however learn that this allowance only applies to areas of a woman that are normal to be uncovered, while those areas that are normally covered may not be looked at even with an innocent glance. From other Poskim[16] it is evident that this applies even by a woman who is dressed immodest.
May one look at a woman while talking to her?[17] It is permitted to look at a woman while one is talking to her. However, one may not talk to her regarding unnecessary matters.
May one to walk in areas in which there are women who are not properly dressed?[18] It is permitted for one to walk in areas in which women are not properly dressed if he is going there for a purpose and there is no other way to get to one’s destination. One who closes his eyes while walking and avoids seeing a woman as much as he can is considered a Chassid, and on him it says “Otzeim Eiynav Miros Bera.”[19] There is however no obligation to do so[20] [although it always remains forbidden to stare, as stated above]. If, however another path is available that does not contain immodest women, then one must go through the other path and if he doesn’t he is considered a Rasha. This applies even if one is sure of himself that he will not give into the temptation to look at women.[21] [The definition of another path available is that there is another viable option to reach one’s destination that will not take extra time or cost more money.[22]]
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- Punishment and reward:
The gravity of the sin: Looking at woman is one of the sins that is most difficult to do Teshuva for being that people think there is no true sin involved as they have not committed any act. In truth, it is a grave sin, and is the opening of all matters of immorality.[23] Chazal[24] state that whoever looks at Arayos his strength is lost.[25] This means that one who stares at a married women corrupts and weakness his G-dly soul and good inclination.[26] One who looks at woman will not be saved from judgment in Gihennom even if he has Torah and Maasim Toivim.[27] In Kabala it is explained that one who is accustomed to look at women and does not guard his eyes will be reincarnated into a Reiah.[28]
The reward for holding back: Chazal[29] state that whoever controls his eyes from looking at Arayos merits to receive the countenance of the Shechina.[30] This means that one who abstains from partaking in the pleasure of looking at a married woman merits to see and experience the pleasantness of Hashem.[31]
Be as light as an eagle:[32] One is to be as light as an eagle. This refers to one’s sight, that one should close his eyes to avoid viewing evil. Just like the eagle changes his glance very swiftly when he flies across the heavens, so too one should swiftly close one’s eyes when seeing evil.[33] Seeing evil is the beginning of sin, as the images which the eyes see is transformed into a desire of the heart which persuades one to sin.
| Sparks of Chassidus
The Rebbe Rashab states the following message regarding the importance of Shemiras Eiynayim [guarding one’s eyes from seeing forbidden sights]:[34] Forbidden sights and glances is the cause of all matters of evil, as the Sages state that the eyes and heart are the two instigators of sin, as one who looks in the end will come to sin. It is known that the main feeling of pleasure is found in the sense of sight; hence explaining why a blind person does not have pleasure in any matter [and is considered like dead]. It is for this reason that sight arouses pleasure in oneself. This is visibly witnessed even amongst those that are very distanced from evil, that they are able to be aroused towards evil through sight. It captures them into a bucket of filth and leads them to the depths of immorality. Therefore every person who cares for his soul and desires to prevent it from falling into the pits of impurity is to control his sense of sight. Even if this matter is very difficult for him to control, he should arouse within himself a mighty and powerful will to overcome it, having the knowledge of its importance. If one does not control his sight all of his service is considered like naught as he will be unable to affect any true inner feeling of service of G-d, and on the contrary he will descend in a downwards spiral from his level of service. Therefore one must express within himself the strongest will power to overcome it. Ignore the scoffers: Even if doing so will make a mockery of himself in front of others he should pay them no attention. Is it not that with regards to material matters which relate to ones very life that one ignores the public opinion and acts in accordance to the way he is required to save himself? Certainly then one should do so with regards to spiritual matters which relate to the eternal life of the soul. The battle is only in the initial moments: The difficulty in controlling ones sight is in truth only on the onset of one’s efforts to take control of his past nature, however with time he will become accustomed to it and its difficulty will cease. Even a cold glance remains permanent within the soul: Even if one does not feel any conscious feeling or emotion upon glancing at forbidden sights, he should be aware that in truth the sight that he views penetrates to the essence of pleasure that is found in his soul and will eventually, Heaven forefend, erupt itself into his conscious mind. In fact it is for this reason that he is glancing at the forbidden image despite him having no conscious pleasure from doing so, as the essence of his animal soul is so involved within the sight that it is unable at the current moment to reveal the pleasure to the conscious mind.[35] In summary: “It is an obligation on every individual to overpower himself and control his sight and through doing so he will save his soul from evil and his service of Hashem will be appeasing and effect salvation within his soul”! The eyes are considered blind for the moment of the forbidden glance:[36] “In answer to your question regarding the matter of Shemiras Eiynayim, it is understood that there is no place to write this in letters besides for the fact that there is no need to do so being that the matter is explained in the teachings of Chassidus. In general the importance of it can be understood from the saying of the Sages that a blind man is considered like he is dead and hence staring at a forbidden matter which is contrary to the purpose of existence of the eyes is considered a temporary blindness, Heaven save us, and even worse so. It is not necessary to lengthen on this obvious matter.”
Crying is Tikkun for sins of sight:[37] It states in Sifrei Mussar that crying is a Tikkun for the forbidden pleasures which one allowed his eyes to partake in. When one now uses his eyes to express complete pain it fixes this sin.
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- For purposes of marriage:[38]
It is permitted to look at a single girl to see if she is beautiful in order to marry her, whether she is a virgin or not. Furthermore, it is even proper to do so. It however remains forbidden to stare at such girls in a promiscuous fashion. On this the verse states “Bris Karisi Laeiynayim Umah Esbonan Al Besula.”
- Are women commanded in the laws of Shemiras Eiynayim?[39]
Innocent looking-No pleasure involved: Some Poskim[40] rule that women are to avoid looking at men, just like men are to avoid looking at women. Thus, the women section in a Shul is to be built in a way that the women cannot look at the men. The majority of Poskim[41], however, negate this view and rule there is no prohibition whatsoever for a woman to innocently stare at a man, even though a man is restricted against gazing at a woman, and so is proven from the Talmud[42], and so is the final ruling and custom of all Jewry.[43] This applies even if the man is not modestly dressed, such as he is wearing shorts or does not have a shirt, and the like.[44] This, however, is with exception to the Erva area, as explained next.
A sexually stimulating gaze-Pleasure involved:[45] It is Biblically forbidden for a woman to look at the body of a man for the sake of sexual pleasure or arousal, just as is the law by men.[46] Thus, it is forbidden for women to watch movies and the like that contain sexually stimulating scenes. It goes without saying that looking at pornography is a Biblical prohibition both for men and women.
Davening and learning Torah in view of a man whose body is not properly covered: It is permitted for a woman to learn Torah or Daven in the presence of a man whose body is not properly covered [wearing shorts, or no shirt, and the like].[47] This, however, is with exception to the private area of a man [i.e. the Erva] in which case it is Biblically forbidden to Daven or learn in its presence.[48] The above, however, only applies if seeing the man does not stimulate forbidden thoughts, however, if it does then it is forbidden for her to learn Torah or Daven in his presence.[49]
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[1] M”B 75:7
[2] Michaber E.H. 21:1; Braisa in Avos Derebbe Nasan; See Eiruvin 18b “One who gives money to a woman in order to look at her, is not saved from judgment of Gihennom”; Nedarim 20a “One who stares at women in the end will come to sin.”; Avoda Zara 20a “One may not stare at a beautiful woman even if she is single, and may not stare at a married woman even if ugly”; M”B 75:7
[3] Michaber E.H. 21:1; Rav Sheshes in Shabbos 64b
[4] Michaber E.H. 21:3
The reason: On this the verse states “Bris Karisi Laeiynayim Umah Esbonan Al Besula.” [Michaber ibid]
[5] Avoda Zara 20a “One may not stare at a beautiful woman even if she is single, and may not stare at a married woman even if ugly”
[6] Michaber Even Haezer 21:1; Tur 21:1 as explained in Perisha 21:2; Riy, brought in Beis Shmuel 21:2; Orchos Chaim 2:13; Rabbeinu Yona Igesres Hateshuvah 19:20, brought in Beis Yosef 21; M”B 75:7
[7] The reason: It is Biblically prohibited to look at an Erva due to the verse “Lo Sasuru Acharei Levachem Veachareiy Einechem”. [Riy, brought in Beis Shmuel 21:2; Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim; M”B 75:7]
[8] Rambam, brought in Beis Shmuel 21:2
[9] Beis Shmuel 21:2; Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim
The reason: This is learned from Divrei Kabala [i.e. prophets] in the verse in Iyov 31:1 “Bris Karisi Lieiynaiy Umah Esbonan Al Besula” [Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim]
[10] Beis Shmuel 21:2; Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim “It is more severe to have forbidden thoughts of a Penuya than to even touch her, as through thinking one transgresses a Biblical negative command, as the verse states “Vinishmartem Mikol Davar Ra.”
[11] See Piskeiy Tehsuvos 75:6-7; Nitei Gavriel Yichud 55:3
[12] Admur 75:1 “Some Poskim permit Davening opposite the uncovered area of a woman if he does not stare at her, even though he sees it at a glance, as the entire prohibition is due to it causing forbidden thoughts, and only staring can cause forbidden thoughts.”; So rule: Rabbeinu Yona Brachos 25; Rambam Shema 3:16; Beis Yosef 75 in name of Rabbeinu Yona; Makor Chesed on Sefer Chassidim 9:2 that “Histaklus” means to stare; Sefer Chassidim 1000 that may look at woman while talking to her; Rosh brought in Sefer Chassidim Tinyana 99 that whenever it says Histaklus means stare, and hence an innocent glance at a woman is permitted; [See however Smeh C.M. 154:14 who says Histaklus means a mere look and not stare, while Reiyah means to stare.]; Rashal Kesubos 2:11; Yosef Ometz 474; P”M 75 M”Z 1 “If he sees and gets pleasure he transgresses and if not it is permitted”; M”B 75:7 “A mere unintentional glance alone without pleasure is permitted”; Emek Sheila 52:1; Salmas Chaim 438 [685]; Piskeiy Teshuvos 75:6-7; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel Yichud 55:3 footnote 6; Story in Avoda Zara 20a that Tanaim said “Mah Rabu Maasecha Hashem when saw beautiful woman”;
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to look at a woman even as a mere innocent glance. [Implication of Avoda Zara ibid; Chida in Pesach Eiynaim 20b; See Kaf Hachaim 75:7; Igros Moshe O.C. 1:40 that a Rav may not look at the face of a woman asking him a Shaala; E.H. 1:56]
[13] M”B ibid; Igros Moshe 40
[14] M”B ibid in name of Minchas Shmuel
[15] P”M 75 M”Z 1; Tzelach Brachos 24a; M”B 75:7
[16] From Admur ibid and Rabbeinu Yona it is clearly implied that even one who sees a normally covered area, the prohibition is only if one stares.
[17] Sefer Chassidim 1000
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to look at a woman even as a mere innocent glance. [Implication of Avoda Zara ibid; Chida in Pesach Eiynaim 20b; See Kaf Hachaim 75:7; Igros Moshe O.C. 1:40 that a Rav may not look at the face of a woman asking him a Shaala; E.H. 1:56]
[18] Baba Basra 57b; See also Bava Kama 48a
[19] Gemara ibid as explained in Rashbam; See also Brachos 62b that when walking outside, one is to avoid looking in areas where women are found.
[20] Gemara ibid
The reason: As he is Annus, and in a case of Onnes the Torah exempts from liability. [ibid]
[21] Rashbam ibid
[22] Piskeiy Teshuvos 75:6 footnote 65
[23] Rambam Teshuva 4:4
[24] Sanhedrin 92a
[25] See Rashi ibid for two explanations there
[26] Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim
[27] Eiruvin 18b; M”B 75:7
[28] Shaar Hagilgulim of Arizal, brought in Sefer Chareidim 33
[29] Midrash Raba Acharei Mos 23:13
[30] This is learned from the verse [Yeshayahu 33:15] “Otzem Eiynav Meros Bera” and it then says in verse 33:17 “Melech Beyafyo Sechezena Eiynecha.” [Midrash ibid]
[31] Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Yona and Orchos Chaim
[32] Tur and Beis Yosef O.C. 1
Opinion of Admur: The above explanations are taken from the Tur, and are not mentioned by Admur. Possibly the reason for this is because Admur follows the order of the Michaber and Rama, which also did not explain the above. [Ketzos Hashulchan 1 footnote 3]
Opinion of Bartenura: Rabbeinu Ovadia Bartenura comments on this statement that it refers to that one should review his studies and this will cause him to effortlessly be expert in the topic.
[33] So is implied from commentary of Beis Yosef on the Tur. As for why the term “light” was used, seemingly this is saying that just like the eagle due to his lightness is able to fly quickly past sightings, so too one’s eyes are to be light and swiftly turn away from viewing evil.
[34] Kuntrus Haavoda p. 11: Below is a free translation of selected parts of the Mamar. For the full version of the words of the Rebbe Rashab on this topic refer to the original Kuntrus.
[35] A proof for this can be found in the Mishneh [Zavim 2:2] that one can see an emission from merely seeing an immoral sight even if he did not think about it. From this we learn the great care one must take to control his sense of sight. [Rebbe in his glosses on Taharas Yom Tov Vol. 9 p. 19; printed in Igros Kodesh]
[36] Igros Kodesh 19 p. 344 [letter 7342]
[37] Derech Chaim 20b
[38] Michaber E.H. 21:3; Kiddushin 41a
[39] See Ohel Yaakov 21:25; Piskeiy Teshuvos 75:3; Dirshu 75:21
[40] Teshuras Shaiy 1:125 [Seagate], brought in Otzer Haposkim 21 based on Yalkut Shimoni Shmuel Remez 105 brought below
[41] Setimas Kol Haposkim in O.C. chapter 75; Aruch Hashulchan 75:5; Letter of Rav Yoel Teitalbaum of Satmar, brought in Otzer Haposkim ibid and Tahras Yom Tov vol. 6; Shevet Halevi 5:197 “We have never seen our ancestors and Rabbis suspect for this”; Chut Hashani p. 262; Ohel Yaakov ibiod
[42] Sukkah 51b that by the Simcha Beis Hashoeiva the women were on top [and would look at the men dancing]; Brachos 20a that Rebbe Yochanon would sit by the Mikveh and women would gaze at his beauty.
[43] The reason: As the sexual psyche and stimulation of a woman is very different than a man, and we do not suspect that an innocent gaze will lead to forbidden thoughts, in contrast to a man for whom even an innocent gaze can instantaneously turn promiscuous. [See Nida 13a “Nashim do not have Hargasha”; Aruch Hashulchan ibid “By a man there is more worry of Hirhur”; Shevet Halevi ibid]
[44] Setimas Kol Haposkim in O.C. chapter 75 that there is no Hirhur for a woman to Daven in the presence of a man whose body is uncovered, with exception to the Erva area.
[45] Yalkut Shimoni Shmuel Remez 105 “Rebbe Yehuda stated that the reason Bnos Yisrael spoke in length with Shaul is in order to gaze at his beauty. Rebbe Yossi said, if so you have turned the Jewish girls into Zonos, as just as it is forbidden for a man to gaze for pleasure at a woman who is not his, so too it is forbidden for a woman to gaze for pleasure at a man who is not hers.”; Sefer Chassidim 614 “A woman should not hear the voice of a man as whatever a man is commanded in so too a woman”; Shevet Halevi 5:197; Divrei Yatziv 5:35; Chut Hashani p. 262; Rav SZ”A, brought in Ohel Yaakov ibid
[46] The source and reason: As the verse states “Lo Sasuru Acharei Levavchem Viachrei Eiyneichem” from which we learn that it is forbidden to entertain thoughts promiscuity, and there is no differentiation between a man and woman in this command. Thus, looking at a man in a way that stimulates forbidden thoughts is Biblically forbidden. [Shevet Halevi ibid; Igros Moshe Even Haezer 1:69; See Sefer Chassidim ibid] Likewise, it is also prohibited due to the prohibition of Lo Sikrav, as just as a woman is prohibited from doing all the other matters listed in E.H. 21:2 with a man, so too she is forbidden in looking for the sake of pleasure if she is an Erva. Now, although some rule that women are not Halachically relevant to the prohibition of Zera Levatala [See Mishneh and Gemara Nida 13a “Nashim Lav Bnei Hargasha Ninhu” and Tosafus and Tosafus Rosh on Nida ibid], this prohibition applies irrelevant to if it will lead to Zera Levatala as: a) It may lead to sin with that person and b) Looking for pleasure is an intrinsic prohibition, even if it will not lead to Zera Levatal, as sexual interaction with a prohibited relation is Biblically forbidden in its own right, irrelevant of what it does or does not lead to. Likewise, it is Biblically forbidden even for women to think forbidden sexual thoughts. [See Igros Moshe ibid] Furthermore, according to the Mekubalim the prohibition of “Zera Levatala” applies equally to women, and those that do so increase evil spirits and Kelipos. [See Shaar Hakavanos Inyan Drush Layla; Yifei Laleiv 239; Kaf Hachaim 239:3]
[47] Setimas Kol Haposkim in O.C. chapter 75; Aruch Hashulchan 75:5 [questions this matter but concludes that so is implied from the Poskim and Kesubos ibid]; Piskeiy Teshuvos 75:3
The reason: As women do not have the same level of Hirhur as men. [Kesubos 9; Aruch Hashulchan ibid]
[48] See Admur 74:1; See M”B 73:5 that a wife may not say Kerias Shema if she is facing her husband unclothed
[49] Makor Chaim [Chavos Yair] 75; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid
