May one attend a wedding during his period of mourning?[1]

Being that different customs exist regarding the days of mourning, as explained above, therefore it is possible that one may get invited to a wedding of a couple who keeps a different mourning period. The question arises as to whether one may attend this wedding during his period of mourning. The same question would arise regarding a Rav who is Misader Kiddushin and is asked to be Misader Kiddushin by a wedding taking place during his Sefirah period of mourning.

The law: Some Poskim[2] rule one may not attend a wedding that is taking place during one’s accustomed mourning period. Other Poskim[3] rule it is permitted for one to participate in the wedding.[4] Others[5] rule that one may attend for the Chuppah, however he must leave prior to the meal and dancing.

[1] Piskeiy Teshuvos 493:13

[2] Chasam Sofer 142; Tosefes Chaim 131:14

[3] Igros Moshe 1:159

[4] The reason: This is allowed being that since the Baal Hasimcha is allowed to make the wedding, one’s own attendance is also considered a Dvar Mitzvah. This can be proven from the fact that we allow Sheva Brachos to take place after Lag Baomer for those weddings that took place on Lag Baomer. [ibid]

[5] Minchas Yitzchak 4:84; Shraga Hameir 6:91; Koveitz Mibeis Levi in name of Rav Wozner

Opinion of Admur: Admur 493:1 prohibits dancing by a Kedushin party, thus implying that one may not dance even by a Seudas Mitzvah. Accordingly, Tzaruch Iyun if one may join the Seudas Mitzvah of another with dancing and music, as even though it is a seudas Mitzvah, Admur prohibits dancing for oneself.