9. Eating restrictions:[1]

A. Eating in the same room as the deceased:[2]

It is forbidden for an Onen to eat in the same room as the corpse.[3] This applies even on Shabbos [and Yom Tov].[4] It is however permitted to eat in the same house as the corpse, if the corpse is not present in that room.[5] [Thus, when being a Shomer for the deceased, or when staying with the deceased relative in the room after he passed away, one must be careful not to eat anything in that room. If he desires to eat or drink, he is to enter another room. This prohibition applies even to a mere snack, or drink of water, although some are lenient.[6]]

Nowhere else to eat: If the Onen does not have any other area to eat and cannot eat in a friend’s home[7], he is to make a Mechitza/divider between himself and the corpse and may then eat. It is permitted to use even a sheet for this purpose, so long as the sheet is tied on its [top and] bottom in a way that it does not move with the wind. If a divider is not available, he is to turn his face away from the corpse and eat.

Non-relatives: Some Poskim[8] rule it is permitted for those who are not in Aninus to eat and drink even in the presence of the corpse. Other Poskim[9], however, are stringent to extend this prohibition to all people present; that they may not eat in the room of the corpse. Practically, one is to be stringent in this matter.[10]

Q&A May one eat a mere snack, or drink water, in presence of the corpse? The above prohibition applies even against eating a mere snack, or drinking water, in presence of the corpse.[11] However, some Poskim[12] are lenient and rule it is permitted to eat a mere snack or drink in the presence of the corpse.   May one smoke in presence of the corpse?[13] No.

B. Eating at a table:[14]

In all cases, even if the Onen is in a different city than the corpse, he is not to comfortably sit[15] [at the table[16]] to eat as he normally does. [This means to say that he should eat his meal while sitting on the ground.[17] However, he may sit on a pillow and the like, and is not to sit directly on the ground.[18] Alternatively, he may sit on a low stool.[19] Other Poskim[20], however, rule the above statement simply means he should not lean on his left side while eating as is normally done by the wealthy, although he may sit regularly at the table while eating.]

C. Food restrictions:

Diminishing in food: The Onen is not to eat and drink to content as normally done during a meal.[21] He is thus to only eat that which is necessary and avoid delicacies and extravagancies.[22] However, some Poskim[23] rule that one may be lenient in this matter.

Eating meat and drinking wine:[24] It is forbidden for an Onen to eat meat and drink wine [throughout his Aninus period, until after the burial when Shiva begins]. [This prohibition includes both meat and poultry, although it is permitted to eat fish.] On Shabbos and Yom Tov, the Onen may eat meat and drink wine[25], if he desires.[26]

Eating bread-Having a set meal:[27] [On the day of burial[28]] it is forbidden for the mourners to eat a set meal until after the burial takes place [unless there are people who have taken charge of the burial, such as the Chevra Kadisha[29]].[30] [Nevertheless, those relatives who are coordinating the funeral/burial together with the Chevra Kadisha, are not to eat a set meal on that day.[31]]

Q&A May an Onen drink beer, or another alcoholic beverage, other than wine? Some Poskim[32] rule it is permitted for him to drink alcoholic beverages, other than wine, in moderation in order to reduce his anguish and pain. Other Poskim[33], however, rule he is not to consume any alcoholic beverages.   May an Onen eat foods that were cooked with meat/poultry if he avoids eating the actual meat? Some Poskim[34] question whether an Onen may eat a dish that contains meat, if he avoids eating the actual meat, such as chicken soup without the chicken. Other Poskim[35], however, rule it is permitted to eat the gravy of meat, and only actual meat is forbidden. May an Onen feed his children meat or chicken?[36] It is permitted for an Onen to feed meat to his children and we do not suspect that he may come to eat it. May an Onen eat meat or wine if he is medically required to do so?[37] Yes. He however is to eat in moderation and only the bare minimum. May an Onen eat leftover meat from Shabbos? Some Poskim[38] rule it is permitted for an Onen to eat leftover meat from Shabbos during the weekday. Other Poskim[39] rule it is forbidden to do so, and so is the final ruling.

D. Washing, Hamotzi, Birchas Hamazon, Mayim Achronim:

The Onen is to wash his hands without a blessing prior to eating bread. Blessings over food are not recited, neither before or after the eating. The Onen is to perform Mayim Achronim after concluding his bread meal. See Halacha F for the full details of this subject!

_______________________________________________________

[1] Michaber 341:1

[2] Michaber 341:1; Moed Katan 23b

[3] Michaber ibid and Moed Katan ibid “He is to eat in another home and if he does not have another home, he is to eat in his friend’s home.”

The reason: As it is considered Loeg Larash to eat in front of the corpse. [Shach 341:3; Taz 341:1] As the Onen should be dealing with the burial, and by spending his time eating it shows that he does not care about the deceased. [Taz ibid]

[4] Shach ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that on Shabbos it is permitted to eat in front of the corpse. [See Taz 341:1 and Rav Akiva Eiger 341:1 who implies that on Shabbos it is permitted being that there is no obligation to bury him on Shabbos. So rules also Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:2 that on Shabbos it is permitted.]

[5] Shach 341:3; Perisha; Bach

[6] See Q&A!

[7] Such as he is in an area of only gentiles and thus has no home of a Jew that he could enter. [Shach 341:4; Bach; Mordechai]

[8] Taz 341:1

[9] Rav Akiva Eiger 341, Tefilah Lemoshe and Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:2 in explanation of Shach 341:3 who prohibits even on Shabbos, thus negating the reason of the Taz that exempts non-relatives

[10] Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid concludes one is to be stringent like the Shach; Kitzur SHU”A 194:11; Pnei Baruch 1:7

[11] Shevet Yehuda 341:1; Kitzur SHU”A 194:11; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 24:6 footnote 10

[12] Aruch Hashulchan 341:8

[13] Darkei Hachaim 2:1

[14] Michaber 341:1; Moed Katan 23b

[15] Literally “Meisav” which means to lean

[16] Shach 341:6; Taz 341:2

[17] See Michaber 552:7 [eat on ground the Seudas Hamafsekes of Tishe Beav] and M”A 552:7 [This follows the same law as an Onen], brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341:1; Machatzis Hashekel on M”A ibid that an Onen must sit on the ground while eating the meal.

[18] P”M 552 A”A 7

[19] Just as is done on Tishe Beav

[20] Aruch Hashulchan 341:9

[21] Miseches Semachos 10; Yerushalmi Berachos 3; Moed Katan, brought in gloss on Taz ibid and Kneses Hagedola; Gesher Hachaim 18:2-3

[22] Aruch Hashulchan 341:9 [However see 341:8-Vetzrauch Iyun!]

[23] Beis Yosef 341 due to the fact that this law was omitted from the Rambam/Tur; See Aruch Hashulchan 341:8 that according to our Shas he may eat as much as he wants although in 341:9 he writes that he should not eat more than necessary. Vetzaruch Iyun

[24] Michaber 341:1; Moed Katan 23b; See Tosfos ibid that from the letter of the law the prohibition is only with meat that is within three days of slaughtering

Discovered death in midst of eating meat: If one discovered the death in midst of eating a meat meal, he must stop eating the meat, although may swallow the food already in his mouth. [Shalmei Tzibur p. 179; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 24:8]

[25] Michaber ibid

[26] Rama ibid; Rabbeinu Yona

[27] M”A 526:21 and Taz 526:6 in name of Midrash; Lechem Hapanim 375; Chochmas Adam 170:5; Kitzur SHU”A 200:7; M”B 526:52; Nitei Gavriel 71:1

[28] Shaareiy Teshuvah 526; Misgeres Hashulchan 200:3

[29] Shaareiy Teshuvah 526; Misgeres Hashulchan 200:3

[30] The reason: As the verse states “Lo Sochlu Al Hadam,” which means that one should not eat until the person is buried. [Poskim ibid]

[31] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[32] Aruch Hashulchan 341:9; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 24:4 footnote 7

[33] Ikarei Hadat 36:53; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 24:4 footnote 7

[34] Leket Yosher p. 86; Mahariy Alfandriy, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341

[35] Mahariy Asad 356; Noda Beyehuda Tinyana 14:214, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:3; Aruch Hashulchan 341:9

[36] Sdei Chemed Aninus 13

[37] Nitei Gavriel 24:3

[38] Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:12 in accordance to Birkeiy Yosef 551 who rules similarly regarding the week of Tishe Beav

[39] Shaareiy Teshuvah 551:11; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:12 in accordance to Noda Beyehuda Tinyana Y.D. 4; See M”A 551:26 that it is even forbidden to eat meat after nightfall of Shalosh Seudos if the congregation Davened Maariv and hence certainly it would be forbidden to eat leftovers.