Introduction:

After the passing of a relative for whom one must mourn, one enters into a state of Aninus, and is called an Onen. The word Onen comes from the word pain[1] and is another term for the word Aveilus/mourning.[2] In Halacha however, it refers to a specific state of mourning that carries from after the death up until the burial, but not afterwards. During this period of Aninus, the mourners are restricted from performing various actions, including Mitzvos, prayer, and certain Halachic obligations. This stage ends with the burial of the deceased, in which case the Onen then transfers to the state of Avel, beginning with the laws of Shiva, and then Shloshim.

 

Biblical or Rabbinical?[3]

Biblically, the relatives of the deceased are in a state of Aninus during the day of death [even after burial] and are forbidden from eating Kodshim, Bikkurim and Maaser Sheiyni. However, all other matters are Biblically permitted even on the first day, and all matters become permitted on the second day and onwards [irrelevant of whether burial already took place]. According to majority of Rishonim, the night that follows the day of death is not considered part of the Biblical day of Aninus.[4] Nevertheless, Rabbinically, an Onen is restricted from performing various other actions to be explained and he retains his status until the burial, even if many days pass.

Does the rule of “following the lenient opinion by mourning” apply also by the stage of Aninus?[5]

No. The above rule is limited to the specific laws of mourning, however, in the laws of Aninus, which precedes the start of Shiva, we do not apply this rule of following the lenient opinion.

The reason for the Aninus restrictions:[6]

The Aninus restrictions were placed out of respect for the dead, as the Sages required that one’s mind be free to think of the needs of the deceased, and that he should constantly think of them.

First reaction:[7]

Upon discovering the death of a relative for whom one becomes an Onen, one is to immediately set forth to arrange the funeral/burial of the deceased. One is not to show any signs of lightheadedness or frivolity during this time.

Comforting the Onen:[8]

One is not to comfort an Onen until after the burial, and one is not to speak to him of matters that do not relate to the corpse.

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[1] See Rashi Bereishis 35:18

[2] See Even Ezra Ki Savo

[3] Zevachim 100; Bikurim 22; Tur 398; Taz 398:1; Gilyon Maharsha 341

[4] See Zevachim 99b; 100b

[5] Rosh Moed Katan 3:53; Beis Yosef 341 [in contrast to in O.C. 71]; Nitei Gavriel 113:16; See Gesher Hachaim ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that we follow the lenient opinion even by Aninus. [Mishmeres Shalom 1:24 in name of Rabbeinu Yona; See Tosfos Eiruvin 86; Sdei Chemed Mareches Hei 41 brings that Beis Yosef in O.C. 71 is lenient and contradicts himself]

[6] Admur ibid; Taz 71:1; Yerushalmi ibid

[7] See Admur ibid; Chochmas Adam 153:1; Kitzur SHU”A 196:1

[8] See Avos 4:18; Darkei Hachaim 2:30; Nitei Gavriel 23:11