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Man contains total control over his will and desires:

Our sages teach us that all that is required of man to be successful in serving G-d is for him to nullify his will and desires in face of the will and desire of G-d. This means that one who has wills and desires for forbidden matters should simply not desire them, and that if one does not have any will or desire to perform the positive commands, then he should simply choose to desire them. Meaning, that he should train himself to desire that which he currently doesn’t desire and train himself to not desire that which he currently desires. Through doing so and nullifying his will he transforms his nature from bitterness to sweetness. [This teaching sounds like a fantasy. Is it really that simple to just press a button and stop liking ice cream and press another button to desire broccoli and spinach? Control of one’s lusts and wills is the battle of life, takes much fortitude and sacrifice, is filled with failures, and is certainly not like the turning on or off of a switch. How then does one actually perform and live up to the above teaching?] The secret behind understanding the above teaching is understanding that the will of a person contains the ability to control the entire body. With proper will and desire, one can turn and change his nature, and nullify his personal wills to the wills of G-d. The power of will which is found in the soul is higher than the power of choice. For example, although a leg may not want to be placed into hot water, a person can choose based on his will to force his leg inside despite its protests. The reason for this is because will is even higher than choice and intellect and can control them.

  • In Chabad leadership history:[1] The above teaching of the Alter Rebbe finds an interesting historical relation of the following episode: After the passing of the Alter Rebbe there was dispute amongst the followers as to who should take the mantle of leadership; his son the Mittler Rebbe or his prime pupil Reb Aaron Strashela. The brother of the Alter Rebbe wrote the following letter to Reb Aaron Strashela to try to persuade him to back down from his candidacy: “Why are you causing discord amongst the Jewish people. Even if you feel that you are the one being persecuted did we not hear from the Alter Rebbe that all of the suffering of the world is only considered suffering being that it is against one’s will and pleasure [and to solve one suffering all one has to do is simply remove his will and pleasure from the matter that is causing him the suffering]. So, why is it that you desire to receive pleasure from people being close to you and choosing you as their leader, due to which you feel suffering if you do not receive that what your heart desires. All you have to do is swerve your will and desire to sit in seclusion and then you will not have any pain and suffering from people not choosing you as a leader and on the contrary, you will have pain and suffering from them trying to anoint you.”
  • The divine lesson: The most important ingredient necessary for us to battle bad habits and desires is to train ourselves to dislike them. For example, rather than face the challenge of self-control every time one sees chocolate, contemplate matters about chocolate and the adverse health effect that it can have and hence one can remove his desire from it all together. Finding a way to change one’s will is the permanent method to bring a lasting change on the ground.

[1] Sefer Hatoldos Admur Haemtzai p. 90

  1. Naso Es Rosh Bnei Gershon: Likkutei Torah

[The history of the Jewish people in their travel from Egypt to the holy land includes a period of 40 years of travel within the Sinai desert. What was the purpose of this travel? Although, the 40 year stay was a punishment for the sin of the spies, nonetheless, certainly there was a divine purpose in this stay, and it is this matter that the Alter Rebbe clarifies in this teaching.] The root and purpose behind the travel of the Jewish people in the desert together with the tabernacle and all of its vessels was in order to subdue and crush the powers of evil. The desert is a wilderness that is empty of holiness and hence gives nurture to the forces of evil. This can be seen in the fact that the desert does not have any growth of plants or grass at all and is a place of complete desolateness.

Growth comes from holiness: The reason for this lack of growth is because growth and production can only come from the side of holiness, as the verse states “and you enliven everyone.” Likewise, another verse states “G-d is righteous,” which means that G-d provides charity and kindness for the world and He is the one who provides them with all life and blessing. The entire side of holiness contains this aspect. Now, kindness comes from the aspect of greatness as it states in the verse “Erech Apayim Ugedol Chesed.”

Kindness comes from Bittul: In the entire side of holiness, kindness derives from Bittul, from nullification to G-d and considering oneself like nothing in his eyes. It is only when a person views himself with self-effacement that he can feel the need to give to others whom he considers more important and significant than he. This was expressed in the words of Avraham who said to G-d, “and I am dust and ash,” and it is for this reason that he would do kindness with all people. This is in contrast to the person who has a strong feeling of self and ego and does not contain nullification, and therefore does not give to others as he thinks that he needs everything for himself and cannot be a Mashpia.

The evil of the desert: According to the above, it is understood that any area that is devoid of G-dly revelation and blessing consequently will not be able to grow anything, hence explaining the emptiness of the desert. This however also explains the desert becoming a haven for all the forces of evil. A desert is a place that is populated with  snakes  and scorpions which are all the epitome of the three completely unclean Kelipos, which are a Yeish and separate existence and do not have the aspect of Bittul and therefore they do not provide any Hashpah, any benefit for humanity. This explains the purpose of the traveling of the  Jewish people through the desert, in order to subdue and subjugate the side of evil.

  • The divine lesson – Importance of productivity: Many lessons can be learned from the above teaching. First and foremost we can learn from the above teaching the importance of productivity. The Alter Rebbe explained that growth and productivity derives from holiness, while emptiness and desolateness, such as that found in a desert, derives from the side of evil. This was the desert in which the Jewish people traveled for 40 years. Accordingly, being unproductive is an expression of the side of evil, in which one takes from society and does not give anything back. Holiness is all about giving while evil is all about taking. Holiness is all about construction while evil is all about destruction. Even if one does not have the head to study Torah or be involved in a spiritual service, he should at least be involved in matters that can benefit the world. Even if he is not able to focus on work, such as at the end of a long workday, he should find something productive to perform. In today’s day and age with the proliferation of the Internet and smart phones, it is quite common for people to waste their time on their devices. Whether it be in the obsessive reading of news, or playing video games, or watching movies and clips in popular apps such as YouTube and tick-tock, or obsessive surfing on social media, the common denominator is that one is wasting time and not doing anything productive for the world. Even if one is not doing anything negative, the mere fact that he is not doing anything productive is itself an element of evil. It is for this reason that the Rebbe directed people to use their time wisely on Nittel Nacht and do something productive in the time that they are prohibited from studying Torah. To quote from that talk[2], “The Rebbe Rayatz related that his father was accustomed to play chess on the night of Nittel. We can explain this as follows, that even in a time period in which the main focus is simply not to do evil, the time should be used to do something productive and of benefit. It is for this reason that they play chess which is a game of intellect and has ability to sharpen the mind which can later assist in one’s comprehension of Torah. From here we learn a lesson that even when one cannot study Torah one should never waste his time heaven forbid and should rather be involved in productive activity of matters relating to wisdom, or adding in charity and kindness, or dealing with the household.” It is not for no reason that boredom leads to sin and depression, as not doing something productive or accomplishing is itself from the side of evil, and being involved in one form of evil creates a bridge to perform other forms of evil, as a sin causes another sin. This is similar to what occurred in the desert, that the lack of growth and production due to the evil that was found there created the environment for snakes and scorpions to thrive. Thus, even if a person feels that he needs a mental and physical break, a productive activity should be chosen such as spending time with the kids, cleaning up the home, and so on and so forth.

 

[2] Hisvadyus 5750 Vol. 2 p. 50 [Sichas Vayeishev, Chanukah 5750]

It is clear from the sources that not every person merits to marry their Bashert. This can be due to a variety of reasons, such as their Zivug not following them into the current reincarnation, or due to sin of either party which can lead to them marrying other people, or simply due to another person choosing to marry their Zivug. The Zohar states that two of these reasons are connected, as performing sexual sins can cause another person to take one’s Bashert. In the end of the day, to quote from the Yaavetz “we do not know if we marry our Zivug Rishon and it is only the creator who knows the souls who has this information”

Sources: See Sotah 2a; Hagahos Yaavetz on Sotah ibid; Moed Katan 18b; Sanhedrin 22a; Bava Basra 12b; Bereishis Rabbah 68:1; Zohar I, 91b, 207b, 229a; II, 170b; III, 283b; Sefer Chassidim 383; Arizal in Shaar HaGilgulim, Hakdamah 8 and Hakdamah 20; Sefer HaGilgulim, ch. 13; Likkutei Torah and Sefer HaLikkutim, Tehillim, ch. 48; Reishis Chochmah Kedusha chapter 16:39-40; Tzemach Tzedek in his Chiddushim to the Talmud, Moed Katan; Igros Kodesh 1:260

Is there an actual stealing prohibition involved in disturbing one’s sleep?

There is no stealing prohibition involved in waking a person up and so to say stealing their sleep and the concept of Gezel Sheiyna is indeed not mentioned anywhere in the Talmud or Poskim, and was first coined by the Baalei Hamussar a generation or two ago. Nevertheless, disturbing one’s sleep may transgress the Mitzvah to love a fellow Jew as one loves himself, and likewise may transgress the laws of neighbors in which noisemaking is regulated. Certainly, one may not cause a Jew unnecessary pain.

See Shevet Halevi 7:224; Mishneh Halachos 12:443-444; 14:199; Shraga Hameir 6:101; Derech Sicha p. 367; Sheilas Rav 2:143; Avnei Yashpei 3:1; Hachofetz Chaim Upoalo 3:105; Yosef Lechok p. 240;  See regarding ones father: Kiddushin 31a; Ramban, Ritva, Nimukeiy Yosef, Ran, Tosafus Harosh on Kiddushin 31b; Maharam Mintz 32; Chasam Sofer Bava Metzia 62a; Rabbeinu Yerucham; Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:31; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 385; p. 402

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