Times that one is not to visit a cemetery:[1]
One is to avoid visiting a cemetery on Rosh Chodesh[2], Shabbos and Yom Tov.[3] However practically today the custom has become to visit graves on Rosh Chodesh.[4] However one is not to recite the Maaneh Lashon or other lamentations, although he may ask requests or recite Tehillim.[5] One may certainly visit the grave of Tzaddik on Rosh Chodesh to pray for an ill person.[6]
Yartzite:[7] One who has a Yartzite on Shabbos or Rosh Chodesh is to visit the grave on Erev Rosh Chodesh[8], or the day after Rosh Chodesh.[9]
[1] See Gesher Hachaim chapter 29; Nitei Gavriel 83/1-4
[2] Kol Bo brought in Beir Hagoleh Yoreh Deah 344/20 [regarding Rosh Chodesh even if falls on seventh of Shiva] Alef Hamagen 581/110; Mishmeres Shalom 5/129
[3] Shaar Hayichudim of Arizal p. 5 [the souls are not by the graves]; Alef Hamagen 581/110; Mishmeres Shalom 5/129
The reason: As on these days the souls of the Tzaddik are not found in their graves. [Arizal in Shaar Hayichudim p. 5]
[4] Gesher Chaim Vol. 1 ch. 29 [p. 259]; Nitei Gavriel 83/3 footnote 3; Daas Torah 581 [brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid]
The reason: As the avoidance is only to prostrate oneself on the grave and recite the accustomed lamentations [Maaneh Lashon]. However to pray by the grave was never intended to be forbidden even by the above Poskim. [Gesher Hachaim]
[5] Nitei Gavriel ibid
[6] Mishmeres Shalom 5/29
[7] See Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2 76/12 p. 576
[8] Ikarei Hadaat 36/35; Kaf Hachaim 568/94 regarding a Yartzite that falls on Shabbos; See also Likkutei Sichos 19 p. 130 regarding Tzedaka; Igros Kodesh 14/324; Sefer Hasichos 10th Shevat 1957
[9] Gesher Hachaim 32/5
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