Having a therapist or tutor of the opposite gender

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Summary on conversation with the opposite gender

It is permitted to talk with the opposite gender regarding necessary subjects. It is forbidden to talk excessively, regarding unnecessary matters. It is Biblically forbidden to flirt with the opposite gender due to a negative command, and doing so is included in Yaharog Veal Yavor.  

 

Q&A

May a man be a woman’s therapist?

Being that therapy involves opening up one’s inner emotions, thoughts and feelings, it is highly inappropriate for a man to give therapy to a woman, even if the laws of Yichud were to be followed, and the conversation is purely work related. This is certainly included in the words of the Michaber that one is required to distance himself very very much from women, and certainly applies regarding therapy in which “Rabim Challalim Hipilu” Practically, each case is to be individually studied to determine whether the therapy required can lead to emotional dependence or closeness, and whether it is being done in a group or with an individual, and whether a female therapist of similar quality is available. One is to contact a Rav and make the necessary precautions when giving such therapy. This applies for both the therapist and patient.

May a male/female privately tutor a person of the opposite gender?

Although privately tutoring the opposite gender is work related conversation and is not a forbidden form of interaction, so long as the laws of Yichud are guarded, nevertheless it is not appropriate, and is certainly included in the words of the Michaber that one is required to distance himself very very much from women. Tutors should therefore place effort to only teach students of the same gender. Likewise, students in need of tutoring are to choose tutors of the same gender.

About The Author

Rabbi Yaakov Goldstein is a 6th generation descendent of the famous Chief Rabbi of Izhmir, Rav Yehoshua Avraham Krispin, who authored a number of Sefarim, and was a colleague of Rav Chaim Falagi, and father in-law of the Pesach Hadvir. He currently lives with his wife Shayna, and twelve children K”H, in Tzfas, Israel. Rabbi Goldstein received Semicha from Rabbi Schneur Zalman Labkowski of the Tomchei Temimim headquarters in 2005 and served as a chaplain in the Lotar/Kalatz and K9 unit of the IDF from years 2005-2008. He is also a certified Shochet, and has performed Hashgacha work in slaughterhouses. Rabbi Goldstein is the director of Shulchanaruchharav.com, the world’s leading web-based Halacha database, and is the director of the Home Study Semicha Program, a self-study web-based Semicha program. He is a prolific author of over 50 Sefarim studied by a wide range of readers throughout the world, which is used regularly in Semicha programs around the globe. He is a world renowned Posek, answering questions to a web-based market, and serves as a local Posek, Rav, and Lecturer, in the Tzemach Tzedek community Shul in Tzefas, Israel. His many classes can be heard both from his website, Vimeo and YouTube channel. Students can join live to classes given in the Tzemach Tzedek Shul, through the “בית חבד צפת Chabad Tsfat” YouTube channel.

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