Publicizing, and informing relatives, family, and friends of the pregnancy:[1]

Not to publicize until the 5th month: [Due to mystical reasons[2], and possibly also due to reasons of Ayin Hara[3]] it is an ancient custom from previous generations[4], which is practiced by Chassidim, and was directed by the Rebbe and Rebbe Rayatz, not to publicize the pregnancy until the woman enters her fifth month.[5]

Informing Relatives, parents, children, and close friends before the 5th month: The above restriction is merely against publicizing the matter, while informing very close relatives may be done even prior to entering the fifth month.[6] Certainly, parents may be told before the 5th month.[7] [Likewise, one may tell all of one’s children about the pregnancy.[8]] Certainly, the husband is to be informed right away.[9] Furthermore, even regular relatives and close friends may be informed prior to the fifth month.[10]

Informing relatives etc before the end of 3rd month: Some sources state that despite the above exception of allowances to inform relatives and close friends prior to the 5th month, the accepted custom is to nevertheless hide the information of the pregnancy from even very close relatives until after the third month.[11] Other sources, however, seem to dismiss this statement and permit the informing of all the above relatives and close friends even within the three months of pregnancy.[12] [Hence, according to the former approach, from the start of the pregnancy until three months one does not inform any relatives of the news, and in the start of the fourth month one may inform relatives and close friends, and in the start of the fifth month one may publicize the matter to anyone of one’s choice. Some however write that even according to the former approach, parents are not included in the above restriction, and may be informed immediately even prior to the third month.[13] Certainly, even according to the former approach, parents may be told immediately for the sake of consultation and mental and emotional support for the pregnancy, and in such a situation it is no different than informing a doctor which may and must be done right away as explained next. Likewise, certainly the husband is not included in this restriction and he may be informed immediately. Practically from the Rebbe’s letters it seems clear that there is no restriction at all to inform close relatives prior to the end of the third month.]

Informing doctors and other people who need to know the information: Of course, one is obligated to inform their doctor.[14] Likewise, anyone who needs to be informed for whatever reason [i.e. parents, birth coach, etc, etc] may be informed.[15] [These individuals may be informed immediately, even prior to the third month of pregnancy.]

Informing the Rebbe:[16] Some sources state that prior to the end of the third month and start of the fourth month of pregnancy, we do not inform the Rebbe of the pregnancy, whether in a Pan or in any other form or method.[17] However, in practice, Chassidim of our Rebbe were accustomed to inform the Rebbe of the pregnancy even prior to the third month[18], and so directed the Rebbe to a certain individual to inform the Rebbe immediately of the pregnancy.[19] Practically, there is no issue today with informing the Rebbe of the pregnancy in a Pan placed in one of the Sefarim or sent to the Ohel, even prior to the third month.[20]

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[1] See Taz Y.D. 182:2; Teshuvos Rama 62; Igros Kodesh Rayatz 9:284; 290; Likkutei Sichos 12:178; Igros Kodesh 3:387 [conceal the matter for some time]; 4:112 [conceal the matter for some time]; 5:221; 6:104; 7:303; 8:193, 209; 20:200; 20:230; 11:278; Shulchan Menachem 6:7; Koveitz Minhagei Chabad for pregnancy p. 11; Shevach Habris 1:7; Bayis Yehudi page 488; Hiskashrus Vol. 314 p. 17 [Rav Y.S. Ginzberg], 316 p. 17 [Rav Karasik of Habayis Hayehudi], 318 p. 18 [Rav Kuperman]; Toras Hayoledes 60:8

[2] Igros Kodesh Rayatz ibid

[3] See Taz ibid in name of Teshuvos Rama who discusses a scenario of a woman who hid the news of her pregnancy from her relatives and neighbors in order so an Ayin Hara not fall upon the fetus and cause her to give birth in the eight-month as had occurred three previous times.

[4] See Taz ibid

[5] Igros Kodesh Rayatz 9:290 “It is the custom of Chassidim who are careful in their activities and follow the old traditions to conceal their wives pregnancy until she enters the fifth month and certainly there is a foundation in this within mysticism”; Igros Kodesh 6:104 “As much as possible do not publicize the pregnancy, as the Rebbe Rayatz states, until the fifth month”; 7:303; 8:193; 8:209 “In response to your question regarding the directive of the Rebbe Rayatz not to publicize the pregnancy until the fifth month..”; 20:200; 20:230 “Certainly you are aware of the directive of the Rebbe Rayatz that until you enter your fifth month you do not publicize the pregnancy”

[6] Igros Kodesh 20:230; 8:209; 11:278; Likkutei Sichos ibid

[7] Igros Kodesh 7:303

[8] Koveitz Minhagei Chabad for pregnancy p. 11 based on Igros Kodesh 8:209, Vetzaruch Iyun!

[9] See Igros Kodesh 8:193

[10] Igros Kodesh 8:209 “In response to your question regarding the directive of the Rebbe Rayatz not to publicize the pregnancy until the fifth month, the intent of this restriction is only regarding publicizing the matter, however it is understood that one needs to tell the doctor, and it is permitted to tell relatives and good friends”

[11] Igros Kodesh Rayatz 9:284; Shevach Habris ibid; Bayis Hayehudi p. 488; Omitted from all letters of the Rebbe, and from Koveitz Minhagei Chabad for pregnancy, Vetzaruch Iyun! See Hiskashrus ibid that from the letters of the Rebbe it seems evident that he does not hold that there are any limitations in informing relatives of the news even within the three months

[12] Implied opinion of Rebbe who omits all this in all his letters; Conclusion of Hiskashrus ibid of Rav Ginzberg and Rav Kuperman, unlike Rav Karasik

[13] Shevach Habris ibid

[14] Igros Kodesh 8:193 and 209

[15] Igros Kodesh 7:303

[16] See Hiskashrus ibid of Rav Ginzberg and Rav Karasik

[17] Igros Kodesh Rayatz 9:451 that this is a tradition among Chassidim, which was received from the elderly Chassidim who in turn heard it directly from the holy mouth of the Alter Rebbe, who stated it in the name of the Baal Shem Tov and Magid of Mezritch; Koveitz Minhagei Chabad ibid; Omitted from Bayis Hayehudi and Shevach Habris

[18] Hiskashrus ibid in name of Rabbi Label Groner that so was done throughout all the years

[19] Igros Kodesh 3:387; Maanah of Rebbe from 1950, brought in Koveitz Minhagei Chabad ibid footnote 1; See Hiskashrus ibid and ibid

[20] See Hiskashrus ibid of Rav Karasik