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Chapter 28: The Yartzite[1]
| Introduction:
The day of the passing of the Niftar is customarily commemorated annually by the relatives, family and friends of the deceased.[2] It is called a Yahrzeit in Yiddish, which literally means “the set time of the year.[3]” In Halachic tradition, we find various customs that are followed by the children of the deceased. The purpose of these customs is to alleviate the judgment of the soul of the deceased on this day, as the soul receives an annual judgment on the day of its passing.[4] The purpose of this judgement is for the soul to be elevated to a higher level, and thus we have the tradition that each year on the day of the Yartzite the soul of the deceased becomes elevated to a higher level.[5] The customs practiced thus serve to alleviate the judgement and give an elevation to the soul. This is why the world is accustomed to say Lechayim “Lealiyas Neshama” on this day. These customs are kept even if the deceased was a Tzadik, as it gives benefit also to the living.[6]
Yartzite checklist:
The day of the Yartzite
Checklist for a Shabbos Yartzite Friday:
Shabbos:
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1. The Date of the Yartzite:[7]
A. Day of death or burial:[8]
The Yartzite is commemorated on the day of the death and not on the day of burial, even if the burial did not take place on the day of death.[9] This applies even if one was present at the burial but not at the time of death.[10] Nevertheless, according to some Poskim, there is a difference in ruling regarding the first year and the other years, as will be explained next.
First year-Does one commemorate the Yartzite on day of Death or Burial:[11] In the event that the burial did not take place on the same day as the death, it is disputed amongst the Poskim as to on which day one is to commemorate the Yartzite, in the first year. Some Poskim[12] rule that the Yartzite is commemorated on the day of burial.[13] Some Poskim[14] rule similarly but differentiate that if the burial took place the next day then one is commemorate the Yartzite on the day of death, while if the difference is three days or more[15], then one is to follow the day of burial.[16] Other Poskim[17] argue and rule the Yartzite is always commemorated on the day of death even in the first year.[18] Practically, we rule to commemorate the Yartzite on the day of death and so is the Chabad custom.[19]
In a leap year – Does one commemorate the first Yartzite on day of Death or Burial:[20] If the 12 months mourning took place during a leap year, according to all opinions the Yartzite is to be commemorated on the day of death, even if the burial took place many days later, even in the first year.[21]
Second year and onwards – Does one calculate the Yartzite on day of Death or Burial:[22] The above debate of whether to commemorate the Yartzite on the day of death or the day of burial only applies in the first year. However, the second Yartzite and onwards is always commemorated on the day of death, and is not subject to the above debate.
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Summary: According to Chabad custom, the day of the Yartzite is always commemorated on the day of death, even in the first year of Aveilus [i.e. the first Yartzite].
Q&A When is the date of the Yartzite if the passing occurred by Bein Hashmashos [i.e. Bein Hashmashos between the 9th and 10th of Teves]?[23] Some Poskim[24] rule the Yartzite is to be set for that day [i.e. the 9th of Teves]. Other Poskim[25] rule the Yartzite is to be set for the next day [i.e. the 10th of Teves]. [Practically, one is to follow the first opinion.[26] This especially applies if the passing occurred on Shabbos, by Bein Hashmashos of Shabbos day.[27] Nonetheless, it is best to be stringent and say Kaddish and keep other Minhagim also on the next day.[28]]
When is the date of the Yartzite if the passing occurred after one already Davened Maariv after Plag [i.e. Plag Hamincha of the 9th of Teves]?[29] One who Davened an early Maariv prior to being informed of the death, begins counting Shiva from that same day [i.e. the 9th of Teves], and not from the next date [i.e. the 10th of Teves].
When is the Yartzite to be commemorated if one was in a different time zone than his parent at the time of death?[30] In the event that the Avel and the deceased were in different time zones at the time of death, some Poskim[31] rule one is to follow the day of the Avel, while others[32] rule one is to follow the time zone of the deceased. Practically, it is best to commemorate it on both days, regarding both Kaddish and other matters.[33]
What is one to do if he does not know at all when his parent passed away?[34] If one does not know the date his parent passed away, then he is to pick a single day from the calendar and practice the Yartzite on that day. He, however, does not receive precedence to other mourners on that day. [Some[35] suggest that one should choose a day that is the day of the passing of a Tzadik. One is not to choose the same day as the Yartzite for another parent, however, he may choose a day that is a Yartzite of a different relative.[36] If one does not know the date of neither the passing of his father or mother, then he is to pick two separate dates for the Yartzite, unless there is good reason to assume that they both passed away on the same day.[37] If one knows an estimation of dates on when the death might have occurred, then one is to choose the date that accoridng to their estimation is closest to the day of death.[38] The Rebbe Rayatz once suggested to choose one of t6he short winter days.[39]] Knows the month: If one knows the month that the person died in, but not the date within that month, some Poskim[40] rule that the Yartzite should be kept on the last day of that month.[41] Other Poskim[42], however, rule it is to be done on the first of the month, on Rosh Chodesh.[43]
What is one to do if he cannot verify if his parent passed away on one of two dates [i.e. the 5th or 6th of Shevat]?[44] If one does not know whether his parent passed away on one date or the next date, then he is to practice the Yartzite on the earlier day. Nonetheless, it is proper for him to recite Kaddish and Mishnayos also on the second day.
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B. If the person passed away in Adar of a leap year:[45]
If the current year contains one Adar: If a person passed away during Adar of a leap year and the current year contains one Adar, then the commemoration of his Yartzite is on that same date in the current Adar. This applies whether the person passed away on Adar I or Adar II. Thus, if Reuvein passed away on the 29th of Adar I and Shimon passed away on the 1st of Adar II, then in the current year with a single Adar, Reuven’s Yartzite is commemorated on the 29th of Adar and Shimon’s Yartzite is commemorated on the 1st of Adar. [Hence although Reuvein passed away prior to Shimon he nevertheless has his Yartzite commemorated later than Shimon, if the current year is not a leap year.]
If the current year is also a leap year:[46] If a person passed away during Adar of a leap year and the current year is also a leap year, then the commemoration of his Yartzite is on the day of the Adar that he passed away in. Thus, if Reuvein passed away on the 29th of Adar I and Shimon passed away on the 1st of Adar II then in the current leap year Reuven’s Yartzite is commemorated on the 29th of Adar I and Shimon’s Yartzite is commemorated on the 1st of Adar II.
A person passed away on the 30th of Adar I and in the current year there is only one Adar of 29 days: See Q&A
C. If the person passed away in Adar of a non-leap year and now it is a leap year:[47]
Some Poskim[48] rule one is to commemorate the Yartzite in the second Adar [and so is the Sefaradi custom[49]]. Other Poskim[50] rule one is to commemorate the Yartzite in the first Adar and so is the [Ashkenazi[51]] custom. Some, however, are stringent to commemorate the Yartzite in both the first and second Adar.[52]
The first year:[53] The above debate is only regarding the date of the Yartzite from the second year and onwards. However, if the first Yartzite falls in a leap year, then according to all [Sefaradim and Ashkenazim] one is to commemorate the Yartzite on the first Adar, when the 12 months have concluded, and not in Adar Sheiyni.
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Summary: If the person passed away in Adar of a non-leap year and now it is a leap year: One commemorates the Yartzite in the first Adar although some are stringent to commemorate also in the second Adar. If the person passed away in Adar of a leap year and the current year contains one Adar: The commemoration of his Yartzite is on that same date in the current Adar. If the person passed away in Adar of a leap year and the current year is also a leap year: The commemoration of his Yartzite is on the day of the Adar that he passed away in.
Q&A When is one to commemorate a Yartzite of a relative who passed away on the 30th of Adar I and in the current year there is only one Adar of 29 days?[54] If a person passed away on the 30th of Adar Rishon of a leap year and the current year is a non-leap year, which hence only contains 29 days in Adar, then he is to commemorate the Yartzite on the 30th of Shevat, which is the first day of Rosh Chodesh Adar.[55] However, there are Poskim[56] who rule that he is to commemorate it on the first of Nissan. [Practically, one is to commemorate the Yartzite on the 30th of Shevat, and if he desires to be stringent, also on the 1st of Nissan.[57]]
If the person passed away on the 30th of Shevat of a non-leap year, when is the Yartzite commemorated during a leap year, on the 30th of Shevat or the 30th of Adar Rishon?[58] If the person passed away on the 30th of Shevat, which is the 1st day of Rosh Chodesh Adar, then the Yartzite is kept on the 30th of Shevat during all years, whether a leap year or a non-leap year.
Q&A on Yartzite dates in Kisleiv and Teves If one passed away on the 1st of Kisleiv, which was the only day of Rosh Chodesh, when is the Yartzite commemorated in a year that there are two days of Rosh Chodesh Kislev?[59] The Yartzite is to be commemorated on the second day of Rosh Chodesh Kislev which is the 1st of Kisleiv.
If one passed away on the 30th of Marcheshvan, or the 30th of Kisleiv, when is the Yartzite commemorated in a year that there is only one day of Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan or Kislev?[60] If the first Yartzite contains 29 days:[61] If one passed away on the 30th of Marcheshvan, or the 30th of Kisleiv, and the first Yartzite falls in a year that has only one day of Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan or Kislev, then the Yartzite is to be commemorated on the 29th of Cheshvan or the 29th of Kisleiv, on that year and annually. [This applies even in a later year in which Cheshvon or Kisleiv contains 30 days, nevertheless, it is commemorated on the 29th.[62] Nonetheless, Lechatchila, it is proper to also keep the customs of the Yartzite on the 1st of Kisleiv/Teves.[63]] If the first Yartzite also contains 30 days:[64] If one passed away on the 30th of Marcheshvan, or the 30th of Kisleiv, and the first Yartzite falls in a year that again has 30 days in Cheshvan or Kislev, then the Yartzite is to be commemorated on the 30th of Cheshvan or the 30th of Kisleiv, on that year and on each subsequent year that the month contains 30 days.
If one passed away on the 1st of Teves [in a year with a 29-day Kisleiv], which was the 6th day of Chanukah, when is the Yartzite commemorated in a year with thirty days of Kisleiv [i.e. on the 30th of Kisleiv which is the 6th day of lighting, or on the 1st of Teves which is the seventh day of lighting]?[65] If one passed away during Chanukah, then the Yartzite is commemorated annually on that Hebrew date [i.e. the 1st of Teves], irrelevant of what day of Chanukah it is that year.
General Q&A If on the day of the Yartzite one traveled past the international date line and went back a day [i.e. from Australia to California], is the Yartzite to be commemorated again?[66] Yes, he is to commemorate it a second time on that day.
If one did not commemorate the day of the Yartzite, can he make it up on a later date?[67] If one did not commemorate the day of the Yartzite, he is to make it up on the day that he remembers. In addition, as a Tikkun for the missed date, he should accept upon himself to recite a Kaddish annually also on the day before the Yartzite.
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2. Who commemorates the Yartzite?[68]
All family and friends may choose to commemorate the day of the Yartzite through prayer, giving charity, and family gatherings, in memory of the deceased. However, the customs of the Yartzite enumerated below in this chapter [i.e. Fasting, Siyum Misechta, Kaddish, etc] are kept specifically by the children of the deceased and not by the other relatives. It is, however, customary for a student to commemorate the Yartzite of his Rebbe, similar to the Yartzite of his parent.[69] See Q&A regarding the Yartzite of a child and grandparent. See Chapter 26 Halacha 2 for the full details regarding who says Kaddish.
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Q&A Is a Yartzite commemorated for a child who passed away below Bar Mitzvah?[70] Yes. A Yartzite is commemorated on behalf of a child of any age who passed away r”l, as long as the child was over 30 days old.[71] Who is to say the Kaddish?[72] It is best for the father of the child to recite Kaddish for his son if the father’s parents are not alive. If his parents are alive, then he is not to say Kaddish and rather another person is to be hired to do so, unless his parents are Mochel.
Should a grandson say Kaddish and Daven for the Amud on the Yartzite of a grandparent?[73] Kaddish: If the deceased did not leave a son to say Kaddish for him then a grandson, whether of the son or daughter, is to say Kaddish on his behalf.[74] This however is only allowed if the grandson does not have any parents, or his parents are Mochel and allow him to say Kaddish for the grandfather. If, however, his father or mother is Makpid, he may not say it.[75] If both parents are alive many are accustomed not to say Kaddish even if both parents are Mochel.[76] Davening for Amud:[77] If the deceased did not leave a son to lead the Amud, then a grandson, whether of the son or daughter is to Daven as Chazan on his behalf. This applies even if the grandson cannot say Kaddish for his grandfather being that his parents are alive.
Should a husband commemorate the Yartzite of his deceased wife if he has since remarried?[78] It is improper to do so.
For how many years is a Yartzite commemorated? One is to commemorate a Yartzite of a parent forever, so long as one lives.[79] [However, some Poskim[80] rule that a Yartzite is commemorated for up to 50 years, and not longer.[81] Practically, the custom is like the former opinion.[82]] |
3. The Shabbos before the Yartzite:[83]
A. Leading the prayers:
Some are accustomed to lead the prayers for Kabalas Shabbos on Friday night, including the recital of Kaddish, and Pesukei Dezimra of Shabbos day, on the Shabbos preceding the Yartzite.[84] The Chabad custom is not to be particular in this matter, although there is no prohibition to do so.[85]
Musaf:[86] Some are accustomed to lead the prayers of Musaf in Shul on the Shabbos prior to the Yartzite. Others are not particular in this matter.[87] Practically, the Chabad custom is not to be particular to do so.[88]
B. Kaddish:[89]
The Sefaradi custom is to recite Kaddish on the Shabbos before the Yartzite, starting from Maariv of Friday night.[90] The Ashkenazi custom is to only say Kaddish on the day of the Yartzite. [If, however, one will for whatever reason not be able to say Kaddish on the day of the Yartzite, then it is to be said the Shabbos before.[91]]
C. Aliyah/Maftir:[92]
It is customary for one who has a Yartzite of a parent to receive the Aliyah of Maftir on the Shabbos prior to the Yartzite.[93] [This applies even if the Yartzite falls on a day of Torah reading, and even if it falls on, or after, a Yom Tov within that week.[94] The person is to prepare the Haftorah properly beforehand in order so he recite it accordingly.[95]]
Yartzite falls on Shabbos:[96] In the event that the Yartzite falls on Shabbos, he is to receive Maftir on that Shabbos and not on the Shabbos before. [If, however, it falls on a Yom Tov, he is to receive the Aliyah on the previous Shabbos, as stated above.]
Level of Chiyuv and precedence: If the Yartzite falls on Shabbos, then the person is considered a Chiyuv to receive an Aliyah, and follows the laws of precedence relevant to Chiyuvim of Aliyos.[97] Furthermore, even if the Yartzite falls during the week, it is customary to treat him like a Chiyuv.[98]
Yizkor/Hazkaras Neshamos:[99] It is no longer the widespread custom to say prayers for the deceased [i.e. Yizkor; Keil Malei Rachamim; Hashkava] on the Shabbos before the Yartzite. However, some are accustomed to do so. [It is not the Chabad custom to do so.]
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Q&A Must the Gabaiy give Maftir to one who has a Yartzite that week?[100] No. While it is proper and respectful to do so, a person with a Yartzite that week is not considered an actual Chiyuv that he has to receive the Aliyah of Maftir. Furthermore, even one who has a Yartzite on Shabbos, and is considered a Chiyuv, it is not an obligation to give him Maftir, even though it is proper to do so. It is thus permitted for the Gabaiy to sell the Aliyah.[101]
Who receives precedence if both an Avel and a Yartzite are present?[102] A person with a Yartzite that week receives precedence over an Avel within the year, even if he is within Shloshim.
Who receives precedence if there are two people with Yartzites present?[103] The Yartzites are on different days of the weeks: Some Poskim[104] rule that the person whose Yartzite falls earlier in the week receives precedence. Thus, if one person’s parent Yartzite is on Sunday while the other’s is on Monday, the person with the Sunday Yartzite receives the Maftir. Other Poskim[105], however, rule there is no such law of precedence. Both Yartzites are on the same day of the week:[106] If both Yartzites are on the same day of the week, then a Yartzite of a father receives precedence over the Yartzite of a mother. If they both have a Yartzite for the same level parent, then a Torah scholar receives precedence. If they are both of equal stature, then a compromise is to be made. Yartzite on Shabbos versus Yartzite during the week: One who has a Yartzite that Shabbos receives precedence over one who has a Yartzite during the week.[107] Nevertheless, some Poskim[108] rule that this only applies if only one Aliyah is available. If, however Maftir and another Aliyah is available, then the person with a Yartzite that week is to receive Maftir while the one with a Yarztite that day is to receive the other available Aliyah.
Not to quarrel:[109] One is not to quarrel over any Mitzvah, even if it is a Biblical command, and is certainly not to quarrel over the receiving of Maftir. Through avoiding dispute, one will cause a greater Iluiy Neshama than even the Maftir itself.[110]
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D. Kiddush:[111]
It is proper to hold a Kidddush in Shul on the Shabbos prior to the Yartzite.
E. Leading the Zimun:
Some are accustomed to lead the Zimun on the Shabbos before the Yartzite.[112] This however is not the Chabad custom.[113]
F. Motzei Shabbos:[114]
Maariv: Many are accustomed to lead the Maariv prayers on Motzie Shabbos before the Yartzite.[115] However, the Chabad custom, as well as the custom of others, is not to do so.[116]
Learning Mishnayos:[117] Some are accustomed to study the Mishnayos of Mikvaos on Motzei Shabbos prior to the Yartzite, after Havdala.
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Q&A Who receives precedence to be Chazan for Maariv of Motzei Shabbos; one with a Yartzite that week, or an Avel within 11 months of mourning?[118] The Avel within a year of mourning for his parents receives precedence, unless there is a set established custom otherwise. |
4. Mourning laws applicable on the day of a Yartzite:
A. First Yartzite:[119]
On the first Yartzite [if the year of mourning was not a leap year] the custom is to practice the laws of the year of Aveilus up until after the day of the Yartzite of the father or mother. This is a proper custom. [This applies even if the Yartzite falls out on Shabbos.[120] Thus, in a non-leap year one keeps the laws of the year of Aveilus until after the Yartzite. However, if the first year of mourning was a leap year, the laws of Aveilus are ceased after 12 months of mourning, which is one month prior to the Yartzite, and is not continued on the day of the Yartzite.[121]]
B. Other years:
Wedding/festive meals:[122] Some Poskim[123] rule it is forbidden for one to participate in a [public] meal on the night [or day[124]] of the Yartzite of one’s father or mother.[125] [This applies even if the Yartzite falls out on Shabbos.[126] Thus, one may not participate in a wedding meal or other meal of Simcha, such as a Sheva Brachos[127], on the night of the Yartzite of a parent. One may however participate in a Seudas Reshus, or a Seudas Mitzvas that does not have Simcha, such as a Bris Milah, Pidyon Haben, Siyum Misechta, [Bar Mitzvah, and a meal of family and friends in honor of the Yartzite].[128] Some Poskim[129] however limit this prohibition to only the first Yartzite, while by every subsequent year he may participate even by a wedding. Practically, one is to be stringent annually on the Yartzite[130] although in a time of need may be lenient.[131] On the night after the Yartzite one may participate in a Simcha according to all.[132]]
Other customs of mourning: Past the first Yartzite, there are no mourning customs followed other than the above custom of avoiding meals of Simcha. Regarding music-see Q&A!
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Summary: It is forbidden for one to participate in a [wedding] meal [or other meal of Simcha, such as a Sheva Brachos], on the night or day of the Yartzite of one’s father or mother. This applies even if the Yartzite falls out on Shabbos. One may however even initially participate in a Seudas Reshus or a Seudas Mitzvas that does not contain Simcha, such as a Bris Milah, Pidyon Haben, Siyum Misechta, Bar Mitzvah, and meal of family and friends for Yartzite. On the night after the Yartzite, one may participate in a Simcha according to all.
Q&A Do the mourning laws of a Yartzite apply to other relatives of the deceased?[133] No. It only applies to the children of the deceased and not to his siblings or parents. Thus, a parent or sibling may go to a wedding on the night of the Yartzite of their child or sibling.
May one attend a wedding on the day of the Yartzite of his parent if he will not eat by the meal?[134] Yes. He may attend the Chuppah and may enter the meal to wish Mazal Tov. He however is not to eat by the meal or remain while music is playing.
May one go to a relatives wedding on the day of the Yartzite of his parent?[135] One who is a close relative or friend of the Chasan or Kallah, and will be missed by them if he does not attend, may go to the wedding.
May one go to Sheva Brachos of a relative on the day of the Yartzite of his parent?[136] One who is a close relative or friend who will be missed, may go to the Sheva Brachos.
May a Rav be Misadeir Kiddushin on the day of the Yartzite of his parent?[137] Yes. He may also participate in the meal.
May one get married on the day of his parents Yartzite? Yes.[138]
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Music:[139] One is to avoid listening to music on the day of the Yartzite of a parent. It is certainly forbidden to participate in a concert and the like.
Eating meat and wine:[140] Some are accustomed to void eating meat and drinking wine on the day of the Yartzite.
Marital intimacy:[141] It is permitted to engage in marital intimacy on the day of the Yartzite. |
5. Lighting a candle:[142]
It is an old age custom to have a candle lit on the occasion of a Yartzite of a parent. People are very careful to abide by this custom. [One is to light a 24 hour candle immediately after sunset.[143] If possible, the candle should be of beeswax.[144] Each child of the deceased is to have a candle lit in their home.[145] The son [or daughter] of the deceased is to personally light the candle rather than delegate it to someone else.[146] Upon lighting the candle, one is to say that it is being lit “Leiluiy Nishmas Peloni [i.e. name of deceased] Ben Peloni [i.e. name of father of deceased].”[147] After the Yartzite concludes, we do not extinguish the candle, but rather let it go out on its own.[148] Some are accustomed to light a Yartzite candle also in Shul.[149]]
Lighting candles in Shul by Davening? See Halacha 7C!
When to light the candle if the Yartzite is on Shabbos or Yom Tov: See Halacha 15!
Benefiting from a Yartzite candle: From the letter of the law, it is permitted to benefit from a Yartzite candle.[150] Some Poskim[151] rule that this applies even if it is lit in Shul. However, the custom is to be stringent and not benefit from it.[152]
Two Yartzites:[153] One who has a Yartzite for both his father and mother on the same day, is to light two candles in their memory.
6. Fasting and Siyum Misechta on the day of the Yartzite:[154]
A. Fasting on the day of a Yartzite:[155]
It is a Mitzvah to fast on the day of one’s parents Yartzite.[156] If, however, the Yartzite occurs on Shabbos, or Rosh Chodesh, or any day that Tachanun is not recited, then one does not fast at all.[157] If the Yartzite occurs on Erev Shabbos, then one is to fast.[158] [Practically, it is no longer customary today to fast on the day of the Yartzite of a parent.[159] Nevertheless, many are accustomed to make a Siyum Misechta on the day of the Yartzite in order to exempt the fast, as explained in B. Likewise, one is to redeem the fast with giving money to charity.[160]]
Fasting on Yartzite of Torah Sage:[161] Some were accustomed to fast on the day of the passing of a Torah Sage. [This especially applies to the day of the passing of one’s Rebbe.[162] Practically, this is no longer the custom today, as stated above.[163]]
B. Siyum Misechta:[164]
Many are accustomed to make a Siyum Misechta on the day of the Yartzite.[165]
Siyum Misechta on Shabbos Yartzite:[166] One is not to make a Siyum Misechta on the day of a Yartzite if it falls on Shabbos.[167] Nonetheless, one is to make mention of a Siyum on this day.[168]
7. The Davening on the day of the Yartzite:
A. Kaddish:[169]
Each year, on the day of the Yartzite of a father or mother, the son is to recite Kaddish Yasom. [The Chabad custom is for the Avel to recite 16 Kaddeishim on the day of the Yartzite.[170] There is nothing greater that protects from damaging forces than Kaddish which is said after the recital of Tehillim. Thus, it is customary for the children to recite Mishnayos and Tehillim in public and then say Kaddish.[171] See Chapter 26 for the full detailed laws relating to Kaddish.]
The half Kaddish after Kerias Hatorah?[172] The Chabad custom is for an Avel, and Baal Yartzite, to endeavor to recite the half Kaddish after the Torah reading. [This applies even on Shabbos and Yom Tov.[173]] In a case of dispute, or when Davening in a Shul with a different custom, the Kaddish is to be recited by the Baal Korei. See chapter 25 Halacha 7B for the full details of this subject!
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Q&A If there are a number of Aveilim present, and a Baal Yartzite, who is to recite the half Kaddish?[174] The Yartzite receives precedence.
What is one to do if he must travel to an area without a Minyan on the day of the Yartzite?[175] Some avoid traveling on the day of the Yartzite even if a Minyan will be available in the area.[176] Certainly, one is to avoid traveling if a Minyan will not be available by his destination, or on journey. However, in a case of great need, such as to prevent financial loss, he may travel even on the Yartzite and hire another individual to recite Kaddish in his stead.[177]
If for whatever reason one did not recite Kaddish on the day of the Yartzite, is he to do so on a later date?[178] He is to say Kaddish on the night after the Yartzite, by the Maariv prayer.[179] If one cannot or did not do so at that time, then he is to make it up on a different day. In addition, as a Tikkun for the missed date, he should accept upon himself to recite a Kaddish annually also on the day before the Yartzite. it can be made up on any date he chooses.[180] |
| Going to Mikveh:[181]
It is proper for a son to immerse in a Mikveh before prayer on his fathers or mothers Yartzite.
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B. Davening for Amud:[182]
Each year, on the day of the Yartzite of a father or mother, the son is to endeavor to lead the entire prayer as Chazan [of Maariv, Shacharis, and Mincha], if he knows how to do so.
Kabalas Shabbos if Yartzite on Friday/Shabbos:[183] When the Yartzite falls on Erev Shabbos or Shabbos, one says the Kaddish Yasom that follows the psalm of Mizmor Shir Leyom Hashabos which concludes Kabalas Shabbos.[184] [Many are accustomed to also Daven for the Amud for Kabalas Shabbos.]
The laws of precedence for Chazan:[185] One who has a Yartzite for a parent receives precedence over all other mourners who are after Shloshim. However, he does not precede one who is within Shiva, in which case the person within Shiva receives the right of precedence. If another mourner is within Shloshim, they are to split the prayers for which they Daven for the Amud on that day.[186] See Chapter 25 Halacha 4 for the full details of this subject!
C. Candles lit in Shul by Amud:[187]
It is customary for the Baal Hayartzite [i.e. son of the deceased] who is leading the prayers as Chazan to light five candles during the services [of Shacharis Mincha and Maariv].[188] [Some are accustomed to light five 24-hour candles.[189] The candles are placed in front of, or near, the Chazan. The Baal Hayartzite is to personally light these candles and not use candles that were lit by another person.[190] In the event that the Baal Hayartzite is not leading the prayers, the five candles are nevertheless to be lit, if the Baal Hayartzite is participating in the Minyan.[191] If there is no Baal Hayartzite participating in the Minyan, only two candles are lit.[192]]
D. Aliyah to the Torah:[193]
On the day of a Yartzite one is considered a Chiyuv and is to be given an Aliyah if it takes place on a day of Keiras Hatorah. Regarding receiving Maftir the Shabbos before, or the Shabbos of the Yartzite, as well as the laws of precedence-see Halacha 3!
The half Kaddish after Kerias Hatorah: See Halacha A!
E. Mishnayos after Davening:
The Chabad custom is for the Baal Yartzite to recite Mishnayos after Davening of each prayer [Maariv, Shacharis, and Mincha] on the day of the Yartzite. One studies the entire chapter 24 in Keilim and the entire chapter 7 in Mikvaos. The Mishnayos are to be studied prior to Davening and are only concluded at the end of Davening. See Chapter 25 Halacha 8 for the full details on this subject!
F. Refreshments after Davening:[194]
It is customary to serve refreshments, and say Lechaim, after Davening on the day of the Yartzite. [Some have the custom of distributing Lechaim and hard-boiled eggs.[195]]
G. Saying Tehillim:[196]
Some are accustomed to say Tehillim 119 corresponding to the name of the deceased on the day of the Yartzite. [This is not necessarily the Chabad custom.[197]]
8. Visiting the Kever:[198]
It is customary to visit the Kever of the deceased on the day of the Yartzite. [If one is unable to visit the cemetery on the day of the Yartzite, then he is to visit it within three days before or after the Yartzite.[199]]
Kohen:[200] A Kohen is prohibited from visiting a cemetery or to be within four Amos of a grave. Nevertheless, he may visit the cemetery of his parent on the day of the Yartzite and stand near the cemetery, from the outside, and this too is considered as if one has visited them.
On the first Yartzite: In the first year, some are accustomed to go to the cemetery and visit the grave of the deceased on the last day of mourning, which is the last day of the 12th month. Many who do so do not visit the cemetery again on the day of the Yartzite during that first year. Others, however, only visit the Kever on the day of the Yartzite even by the first year, and so is the widespread custom. See Chapter 31 Halacha 3E for the full details of this subject!
Yartzite is on Shabbos or Yom Tov: See Halacha 15B!
Yartzite is on Chol Hamoed:[201] If the Yartzite is on Chol Hamoed, one is to visit the cemetery on Erev Yom Tov. [Nonetheless, some are accustomed to visit the cemetery on Chol Hamoed, or after Yom Tov.]
Yartzite is on Rosh Chodesh:[202] One who has a Yartzite on Rosh Chodesh is to visit the grave on Erev Rosh Chodesh.[203] If this is not possible, then one is to visit the grave the day after Rosh Chodesh.[204]
Yartzite is on Chanukah:[205] If the Yartzite is on Chanukah, then one is to visit the cemetery on Erev Chanukah. [However, there are those who are lenient in this matter[206], and so is the prevalent custom.[207]]
Yartzite is on Purim:[208] If the Yartzite is on Purim, then one is to visit the cemetery on Erev Purim.
Yartzite is during Nissan:[209] If the Yartzite is during the month of Nissan, then some[210] are accustomed to visit the grave on Erev Rosh Chodesh Nissan. Many[211] however are accustomed to visit cemeteries during the month of Nissan just like any other time of the year.
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Q&A What is one to do if he is unable to visit the cemetery for the Yartzite? If one is unable to visit the grave, he is to send someone in his place to do so.[212] Likewise, he is to try to visit another cemetery, or grave, in his vicinity and to Daven there, and through doing so he effects an arousal of the souls in Gan Eden.[213] [On the day of the Rebbe’s father’s Yartzite on the 20th of Menachem Av, the Rebbe would visit the grave of his father in-law, the Rebbe Rayatz, in New York.] Likewise, if one was unable to visit the cemetery on the day of the Yartzite, then he is to visit it within three days before or after the Yartzite, as stated above.
Should one nullify his day of learning for the sake of visiting the Kever?[214] Some Rabbanim rule that a Bochur in Yeshivah should not nullify his day of learning to visit the grave, as it is a greater merit for the soul to increase in learning on his behalf.
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Checklist upon visiting the gravesite: See Chapter 31 for the full details of this subject!
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9. Learning Torah:
The main task of the children on the day of the Yartzite is to increase in Torah learning and performance of Mitzvos in memory of his parent.[216] If the Niftar left any Sefarim that he wrote, then one should endeavor to study from the works of the Niftar on the day of the Yartzite.[217]
10. Learning Mishnayos: [218]
What to learn: It is a widespread custom to study chapters of Mishnayos on the day of the Yartzite in accordance to the name of the deceased.[219] One studies one chapter of Mishnayos per letter, choosing those chapters that begin with the letters of the name. For example, if the name if אברהם then one begins with a chapter that begins with an א and then continues with a chapter that begins with a ב and so on and so forth. In the event that there are two of the same letters in the name one is nevertheless to study a full chapter for each letter. However, it is not necessary to study different chapters for each repeated letter, and one may repeat the study of the same chapter.[220] It is likewise customary to study the entire chapter 24 in Keilim and the entire chapter 7 in Mikvaos on the day of the Yartzite.[221] [The Chabad custom is to do so after each prayer on the day of the Yartzite, as brought in Halacha 7E.] The main focus of the learning of Mishnayos should be in understanding their content and not to achieve a certain quantity of learning. This applies even if one will not be able to complete the chapters which correspond to the letters of the Niftar on the day of the Yartzite.[222]
When:[223] The chapters of Mishnayos that corresponds to the name of the Niftar can be studied throughout the 24 hours of the Yartzite. However, the Mishnayos of chapter 24 in Keilim and chapter 7 in Mikvaos is studied after each of the three prayers as brought in Halacha 7E.
The name of the parent:[224] When learning Mishnayos in accordance to the letters of the name of the deceased, one studies only in correspondence to the name of the deceased and not the name of his parent.
Determining the spelling of the name of the Niftar:[225] One is to follow the name that the deceased used to receive an Aliyah to the Torah. If there are several ways of spelling the name, then one is to follow the spelling that the deceased used to sign his name.
Prayer after Mishnayos:[226] It is not the custom amongst Chabad Chassidim to recite the accustomed prayer printed in Siddurim after the recital of Mishnayos.
Yartzite on Tishe Beav:[227] If the Yartzite falls on Tishe Beav, the children are to study Mishnayos from Miseches Moed Katan.
11. Giving charity:
One is to distribute charity on the day of the Yartzite.[228] This has the status of a Neder.[229] If the Yartzite falls on Shabbos, it is to be distributed before Shabbos.[230]
12. Commemoration meal:
Many are accustomed to make a celebratory meal with family and friends on the day of the Yartzite.[231]
Saying over a Dvar Torah in the name of the Niftar:[232] It is customary to recite a Torah teaching in the name of the Niftar on the day of the Yratzite.
Zimun:[233] Some have the custom to make sure there are enough men to perform a Zimun by the Yarztite meal. Some are accustomed for the Baal Hayartzite to lead the Zimun on the day of the Yartzite. [This is not the Chabad custom. ] See Chapter 25 Halacha 10!
13. Mentioning the name of ones parent:[234]
Upon mentioning one’s parents on the Yartzite [or anytime past 12 months from the passing] one is to say “Zichronam Livracha.”[235] There is no difference between a father and mother in this regard.[236] See Chapter 23 Halacha 18!
14. Yartzite that falls on Shabbos and Yom Tov?[237]
A. When to perform the Yartzite customs:
When the Yartzite falls on Shabbos [or Yom Tov], the question is raised as to when the Yartzite customs are to be kept. Some customs are not feasible, or not permitted, to be performed on Shabbos [and Yom Tov], and it is questionable as to when it is to be performed; on Friday before Shabbos or on Sunday after Shabbos, or perhaps they are not to be performed at all. [The same question applies regarding Yom Tov, and as to whether the Yartzite customs are to be performed after Yom Tov, or on Erev Yom Tov.] Practically, a dispute is recorded in Poskim in this regard.[238] The Rebbe’s final arbitration in this matter is that all the customs that are permitted and feasible to be fulfilled on Shabbos are to be fulfilled on Shabbos, while the customs that cannot be fulfilled on Shabbos are to be fulfilled on Erev Shabbos.[239] They may be fulfilled any time on Erev Shabbos, whether before or after midday.[240] [The same would apply to Erev Yom Tov.[241] This, however, is only initially, however if for whatever reason the customs were not done on Erev Shabbos, then they are to be fulfilled on Sunday.]
The customs that are initially to be fulfilled on Friday [or Erev Yom Tov] include:[242]
- One lights the candle before sunset on Friday, or on Erev Yom Tov. [See Halacha E and F!]
- One gives Tzedaka on Friday.[243]
- One is to visit the cemetery on Friday. [See Halacha B]
The customs that may be fulfilled on Shabbos are:
- Davening as Chazan.
- Learning Mishnayos.
Customs that are not fulfilled at all:
- The fast. [See footnote above for a dispute regarding if and when the fast should take place, however, see Halacha 6A that in any event today we no longer fast on a Yartzite.]
The following are further details regarding some of the above matters:
B. Cemetery visitation:
Yartzite falls on Shabbos:[244] If the Yartzite falls on Shabbos, then on Friday one visits the cemetery and recites the prayers relevant to the Yartzite which cannot be recited on Shabbos. [If one could not visit the cemetery on Erev Shabbos, then he is to visit on Sunday. If Erev Shabbos is Rosh Chodesh, then one initially visits on Sunday.[245]]
Yartzite is on Yom Tov or Chol Hamoed:[246] If the Yartzite is on Yom Tov, one is to visit the cemetery on Erev Yom Tov. The same applies if the Yartzite falls on Chol Hamoed. [Nonetheless, some are accustomed to visit the cemetery on Chol Hamoed, or after Yom Tov.]
C. Fasting and Siyum Misechta:
Fasting: If the Yartzite occurs on Shabbos, one does not fast on Shabbos.[247] It is debated as to if the fast is to be made up another day, and if so, as to when it is to take place.[248] [Practically, it is no longer customary today to fast on the day of the Yartzite of a parent, as stated in Halacha 6A.]
Siyum Misechta:[249] One is not to make a Siyum Misechta on the day of a Yartzite if it falls on Shabbos.[250]
D. Shabbos clothing:[251]
One wears his regular Shabbos clothing and Tallis on the Shabbos of the Yartzite.
E. Lighting the candle:
If the Yartzite falls on Shabbos, then the 24-hour Yartzite candle is to be lit before sunset.
If one forgot to light it:[252] If one forgot to light the Yartzite candle before sunset, then he may ask a gentile to light it for him so long as it is before nightfall.[253] Once nightfall has arrived, a gentile may no longer light a candle on one’s behalf, and it is thus forbidden to ask him to do so.[254] [The gentile may only be asked to light a single candle. Likewise, a candle may only be lit on behalf of the Yartzite of a deceased parent, and not for other relatives.[255]]
May one use a Yartzite candle for Havdala?[256] It is forbidden to use a Yartzite candle for Havdalah, [unless one extinguishes it and then relights it].[257]
F. Lighting the candle if the Yartzite is on Yom Tov:
When to light it:[258] It is forbidden to light a candle on Yom Tov unless its light is needed for the room.[259] Therefore, those who have a Yartzite on Yom Tov are to light the Yartzite candle before Yom Tov.[260]
Lighting in Shul if one did not light the candle before Yom Tov: One who did not light the Yartzite/Yizkor candle before Yom Tov may light it on Yom Tov inside an active Shul, [in the room where the prayer takes place[261]].[262] In a case that one is able to light the candle in Shul, one is not to light the candle in one’s home on Yom Tov, unless it is lit in an area that is dark and one intends to also use the light in order to see in the room.[263] See next!
Lighting at home if one cannot light in Shul: In a case that one did not light the candle before Yom Tov and one is unable to light the candle in Shul, some Poskim[264] rule it is permitted to light the Yartzite candle at home, even if there is enough light in the room without the candle. Nonetheless, initially in such a case, one is to light it near one’s dining room table prior to the night meal, thus giving it a use for one’s meal. However, if this too is not possible, then one may light it in any area that he desires.[265] Other Poskim[266] however argue and rule one may never light a candle at home if one does not need its light. [Practically, one may be lenient in a time of need regarding a Yartzite candle, for one who has a Yartzite of a parent on Yom Tov.[267] However, a Yizkor candle should not be lit on Yom Tov.[268]]
Asking a gentile to light the candle:[269] In all cases that one did not light a Yartzite candle before Yom Tov, it is permitted to ask a gentile to light it for him.
Lighting a candle for other relatives: The above leniency of lighting a Yartzite candle on Yom Tov in one’s home only applies towards the Yartzite of one’s parents, and not other relatives. It is forbidden to light candles on behalf of other relatives inside one’s home, if one does not need the light.[270] Even in Shul, one is not to light too many candles.[271]
G. Davening:
Each year, on the day of the Yartzite of a father or mother, the son is to endeavor to lead the entire prayer as Chazan [of Maariv, Shacharis, and Mincha], if he knows how to do so. This applies even when the Yartzite falls on Shabbos.
Kabalas Shabbos and Kaddish:[272] When the Yartzite falls on Erev Shabbos, or Shabbos, one says the Kaddish Yasom that follows the psalm of Mizmor Shir Leyom Hashabos which concludes Kabalas Shabbos.[273] [Accordingly, many are accustomed to also Daven for the Amud for Kabalas Shabbos.]
Within year of Aveilus: If one has a Yartzite of one parent on Shabbos or Yom Tov during the 12 months of Aveilus for another parent [or during Shloshim of other relative] he is nevertheless to Daven for the Amud as usual.[274]
H. Aliyah/Maftir:[275]
In the event that the Yartzite falls on Shabbos, he is to receive Maftir on that Shabbos and not on the Shabbos before. [If, however, it falls on a Yom Tov, he is to receive the Aliyah on the previous Shabbos, as stated above.] See Halacha 3C for further details!
I. Kiddush:[276]
It is proper to hold a Kidddush in Shul on the Shabbos of the Yartzite.
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Summary: All the customs that are permitted and feasible to be fulfilled on Shabbos are to be fulfilled on Shabbos while the customs that cannot be fulfilled on Shabbos are to be fulfilled on Erev Shabbos. They may be fulfilled any time on Erev Shabbos, whether before or after midday. The customs that are to be fulfilled on Friday include: 1) Lighting the candle before sunset. 2) Giving Tzedaka 3) Visiting the grave and reciting the prayers relevant to the Yartzite that cannot be recited on Shabbos. The customs that may be fulfilled on Shabbos are: Kaddish, Davening as Chazan, learning Mishnayos. |
15. Order of Yartzite of one’s Rebbe-Yud Shevat/Gimel Tamuz:
Adapted from a letter of the Rebbe sent to Anash on Rosh Chodesh Shevat 5711 in preparation for the then upcoming 1st Yartzite of the Rebbe Rayatz, printed in Igros Kodesh 4:143
A. Aliyah:
On the Shabbos prior to the Yarzeit, each Chassid should attempt to receive an Aliyah to the Torah.[277]
Not enough Aliyos: If there are not enough Aliyos available, the Torah should be read [a number of times] in different rooms. No additions are to be made to the number of Aliyos.[278]
Maftir: Maftir should be given to the most respected congregant.
B. Leading the prayers:
A Chazan is to be chosen to lead the Davening on the day of the Yartzite.[279] It is proper to choose one Chazan for Maariv, a second for Shacharis, and a third for Mincha. In this way, a greater number of Anash will have the privilege.
Five candles:[280] Five candles should be lit by the Amud during the Davening. [Some are accustomed to light five 24-hour candles.[281] The candles are placed in front of, or near, the Chazan.]
C. Yartzite candle:
A Yartzite candle should be lit that will burn throughout the twenty-four hours.[282] If possible, the candle should be of beeswax.[283] [The candle should be lit immediately after sunset.[284] Upon lighting the candle, many are accustomed to say that it is being lit “Leiluiy Nishmas Peloni [i.e. name of deceased] Ben Peloni [i.e. name of father of deceased].”[285] After the Yartzite concludes, many are accustomed not to extinguish the candle, but rather to let it go out on its own.[286]]
D. Mishnayis and Kaddish after davening:[287]
After each Davening of Maariv, Shacharis [after Tehillim] and Mincha, the Chazan should study (or at least conclude) ch. 24 of Mishnayos Keilim and ch. 7 of Mishnayos Mikvaos. He should then recite the Mishnah beginning “Rabbi Chananyah ben Akashya…,” followed silently by a few lines of Tanya and Kaddish deRabbanan.
E. Reciting the Mamar of Basi Legani on Yud Shevat [or Ata Titzaveh on Gimel Tamuz]:
After Maariv, part of the Mamar of Basi LeGani 5710 should be recited from memory. If there is no one to do this from memory, it should be studied from the text. This should also be done after Shacharis, and the Mamar should be concluded after Mincha.
F. Chapter of Tanya before Shachris and after Mincha:
Before Shacharis, a chapter of Tanya should be studied. This should also be done after Minchah.
G. Charity:
In the morning, before Shacharis, charity should be given to those institutions that are related to the Rebbe. Donations should be made on behalf of oneself and on behalf of each member of one’s family. The same should be done before Minchah.
H. Pan:[288]
After Shacharis and the recitation of the Mamar, each individual should read a Pidyon Nefesh. A Gartel is worn during the reading. Those who had the privilege of entering for Yechidus, or of seeing the Rebbe’s face, should picture themselves as standing before him while reading the Pidyon Nefesh. The Pidyon Nefesh should then be placed between the pages of a Maamar of his teachings, and sent, if possible, on the same day, to be read at his graveside.
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The spiritual Pan: An alternative way of sending a Pan to a Rebbe or Tzadik, is to learn his Torah and participate in a Chassidc gathering in his honor on the day of his Yartzite. These actions serve as an actual Pidyon Nefesh to the Baal Hilula. |
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Visiting the Tziyon of the Tzadik:[289] It is customary to visit the resting place of the Tzadik on the day of the Yartzite. Thus, those in the area are to visit the resting place of the Rebbe Rayatz on the 10th of Shevat and that of the Rebbe’s on the 3rd of Tammuz.
Hiskashrus to other Tzadikim, other than one’s own Rebbe:[290] Chassidim are particular to be connected mainly to their specific Rebbe, while their relationship with other Rebbe’s and Tzadikim is more distanced. This certainly applies towards the very special relationship of handing over a Pan, which is reserved for one’s own Rebbe. Nonetheless, the Rebbe explained that all the Chabad Rabbeim are incorporated within the line of leadership, and hence within each Rebbe is included the work and soul of the previous Rebbe. Thus, there is no contradiction of Hiskashrus for a Chassid to attach to one of the previous Rebbe’s, even in the form of a Pan, as he in essence is connecting to that aspect of the previous Rebbe as found within his Rebbe.
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I. Mishnayos in Rebbes name:
In the course of the day, one should study chapters of Mishnayos that begin with the letters of his name.[291] See Halacha 10 for the full details of this matter!
J. Farbrengen:
In the course of the day one should participate in a Chassidic gathering.
K. Relate to friends and family:
In the course of the day, one should set aside a time during which to tell one’s family about the saintly Rebbe, and about the spiritual tasks at which he toiled throughout all the days of his life.
L. Teach others about the day:
In the course of the day, people (to whom this task is appropriate) should visit Shul’s and Batei Midrash in their cities and cite a statement from the teachings of the saintly Rebbe. They should explain how he loved every Jew. [Furthermore,] they should make known and explain the practice that he instituted of reciting Tehillim every day, studying the daily portion of Chumash with the commentary of Rashi, and, where appropriate, studying the Tanya as he divided it into daily readings throughout the year. If possible, this should all be done in the course of a farbrengen. In the course of the day, people (who are fit for the task) should visit centers of observant youth, and, those who are not yet observant, in order to explain to them the warm love that the saintly Rebbe constantly had for them. It should be explained to these people what he expected of them; they should be told of the hope and the trust that he placed in them, that they would ultimately fulfill their task of strengthening the observance of Judaism and disseminating the study of Torah with all the energy, warmth and vitality that characterize youth.
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[1] See Pnei Baruch 39; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus Volume 2 69-77 [p. 522-571]; Sefer Haminhagim p. 180; Shulchan Menachem Vol. 5; Seder Minhagei Yartzite Chabad [Heichal Menachem]
[2] The commemoration of the day of a Yartzite is recorded in various sources, including the Zohar, Rishonim, and the Shulchan Aruch, who discuss various accustoms associated with it, as will be explained in this chapter.
[3] See Admur 429:9
[4] See Arizal in Shaar Hakavanos; Lechem Hapanim 376; Maharam Mintz 69; Leket Yoser p. 98; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 15 in name of Besht; Torah Lishmah 493; Nitei Gavriel 70:1; 72 footnote 1
[5] See letters of Rebbe in Seder Minhagei Yartzite Chabad [Heichal Menachem]
[6] Sdei Chemed 25; Nitei Gavriel 70:2
[7] See Nitei Gavriel chapter 77
[8] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:13; Nitei Gavriel 77:4-5
[9] Michaber O.C. 568:8; Rama Y.D. 402:12; Maryu 121; Mahariy 296; Maharash 457; Aguda; Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]
[10] Shach 402:10; Levush, brought in Shach ibid; Mahariy Brin brought in Bach 402; Masas Binyamin 84
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that if one was present at the time of the burial but not at the time of the death, then he is to commemorate the Yartzite on the day of burial. [Rama ibid based on tradition from elder Rav Maharam Landa]
[11] See Sdei Chemed Aveilus 94; Nitei Gavriel 2 77:4
[12] Masas Binyamin 84, brought in Shach 402:10 and Taz 402:8; Kneses Hagedola 568; Avnei Tzedek 152; Maaseh Rav 44; Chaim Beyad Y.D. 118 that so is custom and so ruled the Chikreiy Lev; Zichronos Eliyahu Mani p. 82; Beiros Avraham 44; Gesher Hachaim that so is custom of many
[13] The reason: Ideally the Yartzite follows the day of death and not the day of burial. However, in the first year, one is to commemorate the Yartizte on the day of burial. The reason for this is as follows: The Shiva/Aveilus only begins after the burial, and hence the 12 months must be counted from that time and not from the time of death. Now, the widespread custom is to stop keeping the laws of Aveilus once the Yartzite has passed. Now, if we were to follow the day of death regarding the first year then if the burial was three or more days later than the death it would cause people to transgress and not keep Aveilus until the day of burial. Therefore, to avoid this complication, one should always follow the day of burial in the first year, and after the first year is to commemorate the Yartzite on the day of death. [Masas Binyamin ibid]
[14] Shach 402:10; Ramaz, brought in Divrei Menachem 568; Mateh Efraim 3:5; Derech Hachaim; Kitzur SHU”A 221:2; Zechor Leavraham Avel 10; Rav Poalim 1:56; Shevet Sofer 107; It is possible that even the Masas Binyamin agrees to this differentiation, Vetzaruch Iyun.
[15] What is the law if the burial was two days later, death on Friday and burial on Sunday? Seemingly the above statement of three days means that the death was on Friday, and the burial was on Sunday, and it does not refer to three full days, as otherwise a) It would contradict the Shach’s conclusion that “If he was buried that day or the next day one is to fast on the day of death” and b) would also contradict the reason for his differentiation. So rules Shevet Hasofer 107; Beis Avraham 20; Menuchas Moshe 116; Levushei Mordechai 1:224; Igros Moshe 3:160; However see Maharshag 1:35; Chelkas Yaakov 1:132 that learn it to refer to three full days, and that if he died on Erev Shabbos and was buried Sunday then even the Shach agrees to commemorate on the day of death. Vetzaruch Iyun; See Mateh Efraim ibid and Derech Hachaim that write 3-4 days while the Chayeh Adam 132:27 and M”B 568:44 write 2-3 days; See Nitei Gavriel 77:4 footnote 10-11
[16] The reason: As ideally the Yartzite follows the day of death and not the day of burial, and only in a case that commemorating the Yartzite on the day of death can cause one to transgress and not keep a full 12 months of Aveilus do we rule that he should commemorate the Yartzite on the day of burial. Hence, if the burial took place the next day, there is no reason to delay the Yartzite from its proper time, as in any event we follow the laws of Aveilus until after the Yartzite and there is thus no transgression that can be done. However, if the burial was two days later then in the first year one is to commemorate the Yartzite on the day of burial in order so one does not transgress and stop keeping Aveilus prior to the day of burial. [Shach ibid]
[17] Taz Y.D. 402:8; O.C. 568:4; Implication of Terumos Hadeshen 292, as brought in Chidushei Hagershoni; Elya Raba 568; Magen Giborim 132:4; Shulchan Shlomo 568; Kneses Yechezkal 45 that so is ruling of all Achronim; Chayeh Adam 132:37; Chochmas Adam 171:11; Aruch Hashulchan 568:15 and 402:15 that so is custom; Misgeres Hashulchan 402; Maharsham 2:221; 3:205-8; Maharshag 1:35 that so was custom in Munkatch; M”B 568:47 and Biur Halacha 568; Milamed Lehoil 117
[18] The reason: “I do not believe that the above words came out of the mouth of the above Tzaddik [Rav Binyamin] as certainly no one counts the 12 months from burial but from the day of death. Would be according to him that if one heard of the death six months later that he now has to keep 12 months from the day he heard? Certainly not! We rule that he is to keep six months of Aveilus.” The reason for why we follow the time of death is because the entire reason behind mourning in the first year is due to that the attribute of judgment is placed on the heads of the mourners for the first year, and this ends 12 months from the day of death. Chalila to say that the attribute of judgment follows the day of burial and Reshaim can stay in Gihennom for more than 12 months in a case that the burial and death were not on the same day. Rather, it makes no difference whether he actually kept 12 months of Aveilus or less, and we always count based on the 12 months from death. This is an occurrence we witness daily, and we have never heard of anyone suspecting for this matter. Accordingly, there is no reason to differentiate between the first year and later years regarding the day of commemorating the Yartzite, and hence in all years one follows the day of death. [Taz O.C. and Y.D ibid]
[19] Hayom Yom 13th Shevat; Sefer Haminhagim p. 79 [p. 181 in English]; Igros Kodesh 3:199; Igros Kodesh 13:410; Toras Menachem 19:31 [Brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:314] “The other opinion is completely negated and one should not rely on it at all, even in a time of need”; Conclusion of Nitei Gavriel 77:5 in a case that one does not have a set custom
The reason: As so rule majority of Poskim. [See Toras Menachem ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid] and some Poskim rule it is better to precede the Yartzite than to delay it. Chasam Sofer 161; Igros Kodesh ibid]
Should one keep the Yartzite also on the day of burial? See Igros Kodesh ibid that the Rebbe directed the asker to also commemorate the Yartzite [Mishnayos; Chazan] in the first year on the day of burial. However, in Toras Menachem ibid the Rebbe states not to rely on it at all!
[20] Pischeiy Teshuvah 402:1; Shevet Sofer 107; Chasam Sofer O.C. 14
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that if the first Yartzite falls in a leap year, then it is to be commemorated at the end of the 12 months of mourning, and not on the day of death or burial. [Rav Poalim 4:41] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 568 footnote 45
[21] The reason: As the only reason why some Poskim ruled to delay the Yartzite of the first year to the day of burial is in order so one not come to conclude the Aveilus customs prior to the conclusion of the 12 months, and in a leap year the 12 months conclude way before the day of death. [ibid]
[22] Rama 402:12; Shach 402:10; Taz 402:9; Masas Binyamin 84; Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Hayom Yom p. 19
Other opinions: See above in footnotes!
[23] See Nitei Gavriel 77:1
[24] See Sefer Zechor Leavraham; Kenaf Rinana 55; Darkei Hachaim 34:8; Sefer Gan David; Gesher Hachaim 32:12; So rule all the Poskim regarding Shiva and Shloshim, that it counts from the day before if the burial took place by Bein Hashamshos. [See Radbaz 268 Chadashos, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 375:5, regarding Shemua Kerova; Pnei Yehoshua Y.D. 2:37; Dvar Moshe 1:7; Chochmas Shlomo 375:1; Chaim Bayad 125:71; Gesher Hachaim 19:4-1; Shevet halevi 6:184; Pnei Baruch 8:10; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 123:13]
[25] Dudaei Hasadeh 98; Sefer Gan David in name of Munkatcher
[26] As so rule all Poskim regarding Shiva and Shloshim, that we are lenient to consider the previous day as day one, and so can be learned from the Chasam Sofer 162 and Rebbe in Likkutei Sichos 19:132 that it is better to precede the customs of Yartzite to the day before than to delay it to the day after
[27] Nitei Gavriel 77:2
[28] Poskim ibid conclude to be stringent and keep both days; See Chasam Sofer ibid who writes to say Kaddish and Mishnayos also on the second day
[29] Chinuch Beis Yehuda 83, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 375:6; Rav Akiva Eiger 402; Kesav Sofer Y.D. 185; Nitei Gavriel 77:3
[30] See Igros Kodesh 13:410, brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:295; Nitei Gavriel 77:20
[31] Kol Bo [Greenwold] 4:396 based on Dudaiy Sadeh 39 [95]; Shevet Halevi 8:261; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 36
[32] Gesher Hachaim 32:14; Chelkas Yaakov 2:101; Beir Moshe 2:114; See Chinuch Beis Yosef 83 and Kesav Sofer 188 regarding if Davened Maariv after Pelag that nevertheless the Yartzite is on that day; See Masas Binyamin 84 brought in Shach 402:10
[33] Nitei Gavriel ibid
[34] M”A 568:20 in name of Mateh Moshe, in name of Rashal; Elya Raba 568:20; Chochmas Adam 171:11; M”B 568:42; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:10; Nitei Gavriel 77:19
[35] Darkei Hachaim 34:9; Nitei Gavriel ibid
[36] See Tehsuras Shaiy 1:585; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid
[37] Minchas Yitzchak 1:83;
[38] Igros Kodesh 9:193
[39] Igros Kodesh 9:327
[40] Chochmas Adam ibid
[41] The reason: As we assume that he was alive until the last day of the month, as a live person has a Chezkas Chaiy. [Chochmas Adam ibid]
[42] Kaf Hachaim 568:78; See Nitei Gavriel 77:18
[43] The reason: As Rosh Chodehs effects and elevates all the days of the month. [Kaf Hachaim ibid]
[44] Chasam Sofer 162; See Machaneh Chaim 3:17; Rebbe in Likkutei Sichos 19:132; Nitei Gavriel 77:17
[45] Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 221:3
[46] Rama Y.D. 402:12 regarding Adar Beis; Shach 402:12 regarding both Adar Alef and Beis; Rashal; Kitzur SHU”A 221:3; Mateh Efraim 3:6; Nitei Gavriel 77:12
[47] Michaber and Rama 568:7; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:8; Nitei Gavriel 77:13
[48] Michaber ibid; Machazik Bracha 568:8; Kneses Hagedola 568; Chasam Sofer 163; Ikarei Hadaat 29:4; Milameid Lehoil 116; Levushei Mordechai Tinyana 43; Kaf Hachaim 568:76
[49] Kaf Hachaim 568:76
[50] Rama O.C. ibid; Rama Y.D. 402:12 “Even though some opinions argue, so is the main opinion”; Taz 568:3; Terumas Hadeshen 294; Kneses Hagedola 568 in name of Mahrash Halevi; Mahariy Mintz; Yeshuos Yaakov 5684; Mateh Efraim 3:6; Kitzur SHU”A 221:3 regarding fast; Aruch Hashulchan 568:13-14; Gesher Hachaim 32:10; Maharam Brisk 128
[51] Rama ibid; Kaf Hachaim ibid
[52] Rama O.C. ibid [omitted in Rama Y.D.]; Shach 402:11; Rashal; Bach; M”A 568:20 and Gr”a 568 rule that from the letter of the law one is to commemorate the Yartzite on both days; Ashel Avraham Butchach 568 writes to give charity to redeem fast on both dates; Kitzur SHU”A 221:3 regarding Kaddish; M”B 568:42 in name of M”A ibid [however, see there that regarding Kaddish and Davening one day suffices]; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 21 that so is custom; Some write that the widespread custom amongst Anash to commemorate the Yartzite in both months. [Hiskashrus] Conclusion of Nitei Gavriel 77:13 and 16 and that so is custom
[53] Beis Yosef Y.D. 403 in name of Tashbeitz; Rav Poalim 4:41; Chasam Sofer O.C. 14; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid
[54] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:11; Nitei Gavriel 77:14
[55] One version of M”A 568:20 [following the Girsa of the Machatzis Hashekel and Yad Efraim in M”A ibid, however see P”M ibid and Levushei Serud for a different Girsa as edited by Machatzis Hashekel and Yad Efraim]; Mateh Efraim 3:8; Kitzur SHU”A 221:3; M”B 568:42; Kaf Hachaim 568:42; Nitei Gavriel 77:14; See also Minchas Yitzchak 6:8 who rules this way regarding a birthday
The reason: As Adar of a plain year is always in place of the second Adar of a leap year, and hence we view that the death occurred on the first day of Rosh Chodesh Adar of a plain year, which is the 30th of Shevat. [M”A ibid, in accordance to above Girsa]
[56] Igros Moshe Y.D. 3:159 based on P”M ibid and Levushei Serud who have a different Girsa in M”A ibid; So rules regarding one who was born on the 30th of Cheshvan or Kisleiv that he does not become Bar Mitzvah until the 1st of Kisleiv/Teves: Admur 55:13; M”A 55:10; Elya Raba 55:9; Yad Ahron; M”B 55:45; Ketzos Hashulchan 15:6; Derech Hachaim; Kneses Hagedola; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 55:60; and so rules regarding one who was born on the 1st of Kisleiv and the next year there are two days Rosh Chodesh Kisleiv, that he celebrates only on the 1st day of Kisleiv: Shaareiy Teshuvah 55:5 in name of Elya Raba
[57] So conclude regarding a Bar Mitzvah: Piskeiy Teshuvos 55:18
[58] Shraga Hameir 7:174; Piskeiy Teshuvos 568 footnote 47; Nitei Gavriel 77:15 in name of Poskim; however, see there footnote 27 for opinions who rule that in a leap year he is to keep the 1st of Adar Sheiyni as a the Yartzite
[59] Mateh Efraim 3:7; Kitzur SHU”A 221:4; Aruch Hashulchan 568:15; Gesher Hachaim; Nitei Gavriel 77:8; See also regarding Bar Mitzvah: Shaareiy Teshuvah 55/5 in name of Elya Raba 55/10; However, the following Poskim rule by a Bar Mitzvah that it is celebrated on the 1st day of Rosh Chodesh: M”B 55/45 in name of Elya Raba; Bach; Rav Akiva Eiger; Ketzos Hashulchan 15/6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:12 footnote 56
[60] See Kaf Hachaim 568:85; Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:12; Nitei Gavriel 77:9-10
[61] M”A 568:20; Taz 568:3 [although does not differentiate between when first year is]; Shaareiy Teshuvah 568:16 that so is custom; Chochmas Adam 171:1; Mateh Efraim 3:7; Kitzur SHU”A 221:4; M”B 568:43 that so is custom;
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is to commemorate the Yartzite on the first of Kisleiv/Shevat in all cases. [Shaareiy Teshuvah ibid in name of Panim Meiros 2:83; Mamar Mordechai 10; Bigdei Yesha 568:22; Aruch Hashulchan 568:15; Igros Moshe Y.D. 3:153]
[62] Implication of M”A ibid; Mateh Efraim ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid
[63] Mateh Efraim ibid; Kitzur SHU”A ibid; Kaf Hachaim ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid
[64] M”A ibid; Kitzur SHU”A ibid; M”B ibid; Gesher Hachaim ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; So rule regarding all years: Shaareiy Teshuvah ibid in name of Panim Meiros 2:83; Mamar Mordechai 10; Bigdei Yesha 568:22; Aruch Hashulchan 568:15; Igros Moshe Y.D. 3:153
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the Yartzite is to be commemorated on the 29th of Cheshvon/Kisleiv in all cases. [Taz ibid who omits the above differentiation brought in M”A ibid]
[65] Taz 568:4; Mateh Efraim 3:7; Kaf Hachaim 568:88; Nitei Gavriel 77:11
[66] Betzel Hachochma 122; Nitei Gavriel 77:21
[67] See Kaf Hachaim [Falagi] 28:68 in name of Chida in Kikar Laeden 5:11; Ikarei Hadaat 29:34; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 11; Nitei Gavriel 70:9-10; 77:23
[68] One who caused another person to die, such as in a car accident: See Seridei Eish 3:88 and Nitei Gavriel 72:7 that such a person should fast each year by the Yartzite or give money to charity on his behalf, in addition to helping support the persons family.
[69] See Igros Kodesh 4:143
[70] Michaber 344:4 and Shach 344:3 regarding Kaddish of Tziduk Hadin; Igros Kodesh 19:44 [published in Shulchan Menachem 5:306] that the same applies throughout the year; Tzitz Eliezer 7:86-7; Gesher Hachaim 1:118; Pnei Baruch 34:30; Nitei Gavriel 70:3
Other opinions: Some write that one is not to say Kaddish on behalf of a child below 13 years of age. [Sefarim brought in Igros Kodesh ibid]
[71] The reason: As although a child is not held responsible for wronging, nevertheless, there are many benefits of Kaddish asides for removing him from Gehinnom. See also Noda Beyehuda ibid that a child is punished for wrongdoing.
[72] Igros Kodesh 19:44 [published in Shulchan Menachem 5:306]; However, see Igros Kodesh 15:330 that it is best to hire another person to say it rather than the father, although it is unclear from the letter if the person had parents and if the parents were Makpid; See Hiskashrus 644:16
[73] See Toras Menachem 3:7
[74] Mateh Efraim 3:4; Nitei Gavriel 70:12; So rule regarding Kaddish during the first year: Shut Rama 118, brought in M”A 132:2; Kneses Hagedola 403, brought in Kaf Hachaim 55:28; Beir Heiytiv 132:5; Beis Lechem Yehuda 376; Beis Hilel 376; Teshuvah Meahava 1:17, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 376:7 [See there for the details of Kadima for a grandson]; Gilyon Maharsha 376; Peri Hasadeh 92; Igros Kodesh 12:196 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:296]
[75] See Teshuvas Harama ibid; Beis Lechem Yehuda 376
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule a mother cannot protest the son saying Kaddish for his father’s father. [Teshuvas Shaiy, brought in Beis Lechem Yehuda ibid]
[76] See sources in Chapter 26 Halacha 2
[77] Peri Hasadeh 92 regarding the year of Aveilus; Nitei Gavriel 70:12; Toras Menachem 3:7 that the Rebbe Rashab Davened for the Amud on the Yartzite of the Tzemach Tzedek and the Rebbe Rayatz Davened for the Amud on the Yartzite of the Rebbe Maharash
[78] Beir Moshe 4:104; Nitei Gavriel 70:21
[79] Rama 376:4 in name of Maharil “On the day of the Yartzite of a mother or father, one recites Kaddish forever.”; Rav Poalim 4 So Yesharim 17; Minchas Elazar 4:33 in negation of opinions brought next; See Nitei Gavriel 78:22 footnote 41
The reason: As each year the Neshama receives an Aliya, forever. [Rav Poalim ibid]
[80] Sefarim brought in Nitei Gavriel 78:22 footnote 40 and that so held the Steipler, Ger, Vizhnitz
[81] The reason: As the Neshama no longer receives any judgment in Gihennonm. [Sefarim ibid]
[82] Nitei Gavriel 78:22
[83] See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 chapter 69; Seder Minhagei Yartzite Chabad [Heichal Menachem] p. 17
[84] See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 69:2
[85] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Igros Kodesh 2:383
[86] See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 69:1 footnote 1 in length that so is the custom of Galicia and a number of recent Sefarim bring this Minhag; Nevertheless, he records that many are not accustomed to do so, as it has no source in the earlier Poskim
[87] Darkei Chaim Veshalom 445; See Shaareiy Chaim on Shaareiy Efraim 9:42; Footnote in Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]
[88] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Igros Kodesh 2:383; 20:236; Nitei Gavriel ibid
[89] Shalmei Tzibur p. 190; Kaf Hachaim 55:23; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 69:3
[90] The reason: As the soul has an Aliyah on every Shabbos prior to the Yartzite and the Kaddish propels its elevation. [Kaf Hachaim ibid]
[91] Dudaei Sadeh 23; Nitei Gavriel 69:16
[92] Birkeiy Yosef 284:1; Shaareiy Efraim 9:42; Kitzur SHU”A 78:11; Kaf Hachaim 284:6; Ketzos Hashulchan 88:1; Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; See Rama 376:4 and Chapter 25 Halacha 7C regarding the first year of Aveilus; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9 and 284:1 footnote 8 and 12; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 69:6
Other customs: Some are accustomed to receiving one of the seven Aliyos on the Shabbos before the Yartzite. [See Nitei Gavriel ibid]
Child under Bar Mitzvah: See Nitei Gavriel 697 regarding giving a son Maftir on the Shabbos before his father’s Yartzite.
[93] The reason: As according to the Zohar the main elevation of the Neshama occurs on the Shabbos before the Yartzite. [Alef Hamagen on Mateh Efraim 3] the blessings of the Haftorah discuss the redemption of Klal Yisrael [Seder Hayom] and hence help elevate the Neshama similar to Kaddish. [Pnei Baruch ibid footnote 32] Additionally, the congregation answers Amen to his blessings which also helps elevate the Neshama similar to the Amen’s of Kaddish. [Nimukei Orach Chaim 284:3]
[94] Sefer Hasichos 5748 1:221; Nitei Gavriel 69:9-10; Piskeiy Teshuvos 136 footnote 86
[95] See Chesed Lealafim 134:25 regarding the need to be careful in the reading
[96] Sefer Haminhagim ibid; Shaareiy Efraim 9:42; Darkei Chaim 34:12; Nimukei Orach Chaim 282; Darkei Chaim Veshalom 210; Gesher Hachaim 32:2; Orchos Rabbeinu in name of Chazon Ish; Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9 footnotes 81-82 and 284 footnote 13; Nitei Gavriel 69:8
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is to receive an Aliyah for Maftir on the preceding Shabbos even in such a case, and on the Shabbos of the Yartzite he is to get one of the seven Aliyos. [Nishmas Kol Chaiy Y.D. 72; Maaseh Avraham 56; Chasam Sofer 6:103; Orchos Chaim 282:15 in name of Rav Chaim Falagi; Koveitz Mibeis Levi 12; See Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9 footnotes 81-82 and 284 footnote 13; Nitei Gavriel 69:8]
[97] M”A 283:18; Levush 282; Biur Halacha 136; See M”A ibid and Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:5 for the order of precedence of Chiyuvim; See also Nitei Gavriel 74:9-11
[98] Poskim ibid; Kitzur SHU”A 78:11 lists day of Yartzite as Chiyuv number 8 while Shabbos before Yartzite as Chiyuv number 10; See Nitei Gavriel 69:5
[99] See Rama 284:7 and Admur 284:14 who mention this custom; Ketzos Hashulchan 83 footnote 12 writes the custom is no longer to do so within the first year but does remain to do so on the Shabbos before the Yartzite; However, other Poskim record that even this is no longer accustomed today. [See Nimukei Orach Chaim 284:2; Maharam Bris 2:52; Piskeiy Teshuvos 284:14; Nitei Gavriel 69:13 “Majority of places no longer do so”] However, see Igros Moshe 2:74 who mentions this custom as still being intact.
[100] Piskeiy Teshuvos 284:1; See M”A 282:18; Levush 282; Biur Halacha 136 “Shabbos” who all omit the Shabbos before a Yartzite as a Chiyuv
[101] Ketzos Hashulchan 88 footnote 4
[102] As is the law regarding Kaddish and leading the prayers, in which a Yartzite receives precedence; Az Nidbaru 2:72 that so is the custom even though receiving Maftir for an Avel is brought in the Rama while receiving Maftir for a Yartzite is only a custom; Piskeiy Teshuvos 284 footnote 8
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that an Avel within the 12 months receives precedence over a Yartzite regarding Maftir. [Maaseh Eliyahu 294, brought in Pnei Baruch 35 footnote 32]
[103] See Birkeiy Yosef 284:1; Shaareiy Efraim 9:42; Kaf Hachaim 284:6; Ketzos Hashulchan 88 footnote 4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9; Nitei Gavriel 69:11-12 and 74:2-11 for various scenarios of Kadima
[104] Moed Lekol Chaiy 8; Kaf Hachaim ibid
[105] Shaareiy Efraim ibid; Nitei Gavriel 74:7
[106] Birkeiy Yosef 284:1; Shaareiy Efraim 9:42; Kaf Hachaim 284:6
[107] Pashut, as one with a Yartzite on Shabbos is an actual Chiyuv, in contrast to one with a Yartzite that week, as brought in M”A 282:18 and Poskim ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid
[108] Likkutei Teshuvos Minchas Yitzchak 12; Mishneh Halachos 4:153; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 136 footnote 82
The reason: As many hold that one with a Yartzite on Shabbos is to get one of the seven Aliyaos and not Maftir and hence one with a Yartzite that week receives precedence of Maftir.
[109] Admur 53:29; M”A 53:26; Kaf Hachaim 284:6
[110] Kaf Hachaim ibid
[111] Toras Menachem 4:266 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:317]
[112] See regarding the year: Shvus Yaakov 1:102; Pischeiy Teshuvah 375:3 in name of Chinuch Beis Yehuda 91; Yosef Ometz p. 331; Sheilas Yaavetz 1:204; Kitzur SHU”A 204:4; M”B 201:1; Igros Kodesh 3:372 [published in Shulchan Menachem 5:306]; Pnei Baruch 35:18; Nitei Gavriel 65:15; 69:17 regarding Shabbos before Yartzite
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule there is no source or purpose in leading the Zimun past the Shiva, during the 12 months. [Sheilas Yaavetz ibid]
[113] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; See Igros Kodesh ibid that when the son is saying Kaddish he did not hear or receive a directive from the Rebbe Rayatz that one is to strive to lead the Zimun.
[114] Melaveh Malka: See Igros Kodesh 10:301 that although the Rebbe has not heard or seen the custom of making a special Melaveh Malka meal in honor of the deceased, on the Shabbos before the Yartzite, nonetheless it is a good thing to do if a Farbrengen will take place and they will speak words of Torah.
[115] Mishmeres Shalom Taf 38; Moed Lekeol Chaiy 28; Maharam Brisk 1:118; See Shaareiy Chaim on Shaareiy Efraim 9:42; Footnote in Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; See Nitei Gavriel 69:18
[116] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Nitei Gavriel 69:18 that the Chabad custom as well as the custom of some other Chassidic groups is not to do so; Mishnas Eliezer Tinyana 33; Pnei Baruch 39 in name of Rav Shmuel Salant and that so is Minhag Yerushalayim.
[117] See Editor in Siddur Tehilas Hashem in name of Sefer Maaseh Oreg of the Kumrana; Pnei Baruch 35:17; Nitei Gavriel 69:15
[118] Mishnas Eliezer Tinyana 33; Nitei Gavriel 69:20
[119] Rama 395:3; Shach 402:10; Terumos Hadeshen 292; Leket Yosher p. 98
[120] So is implied from Shach 395:3 in name of Terumas Hadeshen ibid; However, see Pnei Baruch 39:22 in name of Leket Yosher and Bach that it does not apply on Shabbos Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 62:9 concludes based on Shut Magidos 89 that only those matters which are forbidden from the letter of the law are accustomed on Shabbos.
[121] Shach 395:3 and Taz 395:3 in name of Bach 395; See Nekudos Hakesef 395 in explanation of Bach against attack of Taz ibid; Michaber 391:2 regarding festive meals; Taz 391:1 “All Aveilus ends after 12 months even in a leap year, and those that continue the mourning customs into the 13th month have no source and are certainly doing a worthless act”; Chapter ?? Halacha 1C!
[122] Rama Y.D. 391:3 and 402:12; Shach 391:8 that so is custom and Shach 395:3 and Nekudos Hakesef 395; Taz 395:3; Leket Yosher p. 99
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule the custom is not to be careful in this matter. [Levush 391:3 and 395:20, brought in Shach 391:8 and Taz ibid; Aruch Hashulchan 391:14 that he has not seen people be careful in this today] The Shach ibid concludes that “Lo Rainu Eiyno Raayah”
[123] Hagahos Minhagim in name of Maryu
[124] Pashut, the only reason day was not mentioned in the Rama ibid is because in previous times the sons were accustomed to fast on this day. [Pnei Baruch 39:23]
[125] The reason: As since one Davens for the Amud, and says Kaddish and fasts on this day, therefore he should also practice some laws of Aveilus. [Taz 395:3 based on Terumos Hadeshen 292 regarding the first Yartzite]
[126] Leket Yosher p. 99; Mateh Moshe 768 in name of Maharil; So is implied from Shach 395:3 in name of Terumas Hadeshen ibid
[127] See Rama 391:3 that the law regarding a wedding applies Min Hadin to any meal in which if Hasimcha Bimiono is recited; See Taz 391:5; Shach 391:7; Aruch Hashulchan 391:14; See Nitei Gavriel 22:6 footnote 10
[128] Makom Shmuel 80, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 391:8; Mateh Moshe 768 in name of Maharil “Only by a Seudas Simcha such as a wedding and the like it applies and not by a Seudas Mereios”; P”M 444 M”Z 9 regarding Siyum Misechta; Sheilas Yaavetz 2:184; Chochmas Adam 171:11; Kitzur SHU”A 221:7; Shaareiy Teshuvah 568:19; So is also implied from Shach 395:3 “One may not participate in a meal of Simcha and Mishteh” and Rama 391:2 writes that only a wedding meal is defined as a Seuda of Simcha and not a Seudas Bris Mila or Pidyon haben; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 22:6 footnote 10
The reason: As even during the year of Aveilus this matter is disputed, and some Poskim rule that the entire custom of the day of the Yarztite only refers to a wedding meal being it is a meal of Simcha. Thus, one may certainly be lenient in this regard, especially being that by Aveilus we follow the lenient opinion.
[129] Lechem Hapanim 376 in accordance to Arizal and 391 in name of M”A; Beis Lechem Yehuda 391 in name of Lechem Hapanim in name of M”A; Aruch Hashulchan 391:14 in name of M”A; Chochmas Adam 1761 in name of Lechem hapanim; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 8; See Beir Heiytiv 395:3; Poskim brought in Pnei Baruch 39 footnote 52 and Nitei Gavriel 22 footnote 2
[130] So rules the Shach and Taz ibid; Kitzur SHU”A 221:7
[131] See Nitei Gavriel 22:1 footnote 2
[132] Sheilas Yaavetz 2:184
[133] Pashut, as the Rama and all Poskim only mention the Yartzite of a parent; Nitei Gavriel 22:1
[134] The Rama and Poskim ibid only mention “not to eat by the meal” unlike the wording in 391:2 “Not to enter to the meal” however seemingly it is Lav Davka and it is forbidden to evgen remain by the meal being it is a place of Simcha; See however ruling of Nitei Gavriel 22:6
[135] Pashut, as the entire avoidance is only a custom and is under dispute, hence if during the 12 months we are lenient as rules the Mahrashdam 202 then certainly during the day of the Yartzite. Seemingly there is no need to even be Mishameish in such a case. See Nitei Gavriel 22:3 footnote 4 in name of Poskim
[136] Pashut, as the entire avoidance is only a custom and is under dispute, hence if during the 12 months we are lenient as rules the Mahrashdam 202 then certainly during the day of the Yartzite. Seemingly there is no need to even be Mishameish in such a case. See Nitei Gavriel 22:4 footnote 5 in name of Nishmas Kol Chaiy
[137] Levushei Mordechai Tinyana 137 based on Neharei Afarsemon 54
[138] As he may even get married during Shloshim if he did not fulfill the Motzvah of Peru Urevu, thus certainly he may get married on the day of a Yartzite. See Nitei Gavriel 22:4
[139] See Nitei Gavriel 22:13
[140] Makor Chaim 568:8; Nitei Gavriel 70:20
[141] Nitei Gavriel 22:22 in name of the Mahrashak
[142] Admur 261:2 “It is permitted to tell a gentile to light the candle of the day of death of one’s father or mother as the world is very careful in this”; M”A 261:6; Shut Rashal 46; Nachalas Shiva 38; Kesav Sofer 75; Kitzur SHU”A 221:1; Biur Halacha 514:5 “Neir”; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 16; Kaf Hachaim 514:79; Gesher Hachaim 32:4; Nitei Gavriel 71:6; chapter 75; Sefer Haminhagim p. 180
[143] Sefer Haminhgaim p. 180 [English]
[144] Sefer Haminahgim p. 166; See Nitei Gavriel 75:8
[145] Nitei Gavriel 75:2 in name of Poskim
[146] Torah Leshma 520
[147] Torah Leshma 520
[148] Moed Lekol Chaiy 3; Nitei Gavriel 75:1; See Admur 610:8; Rama 610:4 regarding Yom Kippur candle
[149] See Shaareiy Teshuvah 154:20; M”B 154:56; Mishmeres Shalom Zayin 26; Nitei Gavriel 75:3-7
[150] Shaareiy Teshuvah 154:20; M”B 154:56
[151] Shaareiy Teshuvah and M”B ibid
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to benefit from a Yartzite candle lit in the shul, as it is considered like a candle of a Shul which is lit in its honor. [Kaf Hachaim 154:96]
[152] Kesav Sofer O.C. 65; Nitei Gavriel 75:9
[153] Nitei Gavriel 75:12
[154] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:7 and 14; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 chapter 72
[155] Michaber O.C. 568:8; Rama Y.D. 376:4; 402:12; Beis Yosef end of 376 and 403; Rivash; Kol Bo Aveilus 5:4; Maharam Mintz 12; Leket Yoser p. 98; Kitzur SHU”A 221:1; See Admur 249:12-13; 429:9; Toras Menachem 5749 2:184; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 Teshuvah 3
[156] Poskim ibid
The reason: The reason it is customary to fast on the day of a Yartzite is because it is a day in which one’s Mazal was worsened and there is Sakana. [Levush 402:12, brought in Shach 402:10; 1st reason in Maharam Mintz 9 and Leket Yosher p. 98] Alternatively, it is done in order to alleviate the judgment of the Niftar. [See Arizal in Shaar Hakavanos; Lechem Hapanim 376; 2nd reason in Maharam Mintz 9 and Leket Yoser p. 98; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 15 in name of Besht; Torah Lishmah 493; Nitei Gavriel 70:1; 72 footnote 1]
[157] Rama 568:9; 402:12; Levush; See Kaf Hachaim 568:98
Other opinions-Sephardim: Some Poskim rule the fast is to take place on Sunday. [Michaber 568:9; Devar Moshe 68; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 568:94 and so he concludes] Other Poskim rule the fast is to take place on Friday. [Kavod Chachamim, brought in Lechem Hapanim 376; Pnei Aaron 27, brought in Kaf Hachaim 568:94] Other Poskim rule that one does not fast at all in such a situation. [Rama ibid] Practically, the Ashkenazi custom is not to fast at all, as rules Rama. The Sefaradi custom, however is to fast the day before or the day after, if it falls on Shabbos. If, however, it falls on a day that Tachanun is not recited, then the custom is not to fast at all. [Yifei Laleiv 2:8; Kaf Hachaim 568:98]
[158] Rama 402:12; Admur 249:12; See Admur 249:13 regarding if one must fast until nightfall, or only until sunset
[159] Rebbe in Toras Menachem 19:31; 5749 2:184, and Sichos Kodesh 5737 1:424, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:318 and 321 and 323; Chelkas Yaakov 3:149; Orchos Rabbeinu 2:100 in name of Steipler and Chazon Ish; See Tzavaah of Maggid to his son, printed in Hatamim 7:17, that he should not fats but rather make a Seuda; Tur Barkat on 568; Darkei Hachaim 34:1; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:7 footnote 40; Nitei Gavriel 73:1-2 footnote 3-4
The reason: This is due to the teachings of the Baal Shem Tov who persuades one not to harm the body but to assist it, and in today’s generations the body is much weaker and cannot handle fasts as well. It is therefore forbidden to increase in fasts, as writes Admur in Igeres Hatehsuvah chapter 3. On the contrary, the fact that Hashem made our generation weak is a sign that we no longer need the fasting to perform the Tikun, and the Tikkun can be accomplished through redeeming it in charity, adding in Torah learning, and having a celebratory occasion. [Rebbe ibid]
[160] Aruch Hashulchan 376:13; See Ashel Avraham Butchach 568; Nitei Gavriel 73:5 footnote 8
[161] Michaber Y.D. 378:4; Yerushalmi; See O.C. 580 for a list of Taanis Tzadikim
[162] M”A 568:20; Shlah; Many Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 73:1 footnote 2
[163] Beis Hillel 378:4; Rebbe in Toras Menachem 5749 2:184, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:318
[164] Rebbe in Sichos Kodesh 5737 1:424 and Toras Menachem 5744 2:872, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:321; Koveitz Or Yisrael 47:183; Gesher Hachaim 32; Nitei Gavriel 73:3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:7
[165] The reason: This is done in order to exempt the accustomed fast of this day. Just as we allow a Siyum to break the fast of Bechoros on Erev Pesach, so too Siyum can break the fast of a Yartzite, and even more so, as the fast of Bechoros is recorded in Miseches Sofrim, while the fast of a Yartzite is first recorded amongst the Rishonim. [See Rebbe ibid in Sichos Kodesh; Koveitz Or Yisrael ibid] Alternatively, it is done in order to fulfill one’s obligation according to all, as some hold that a Yom Hilula is to be a day of joy, while others hold it is to be a day of fasting. In order to fulfill one’s obligation according to all one makes a Siyum Misechta which obligates one to be Besimcha, even according to the approach which requires fasting. [Rebbe in Toras Menachem ibid]
[166] Toras Menachem 1984 2:873 and 5749 2:302 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:325]; See Koveitz Or Yisrael 47:183; The Rebbe himself would not make a Siyum when the Yratzite of his father or mother fell on Shabbos.
[167] The reason: As the entire reason behind the Siyum is to nullify the fast, and since when a Yartzite falls on Shabbos we anyways do not fast, there is therefore no reason for the Siyum. Furthermore, to make a Siyum on the Shabbos Yartzite as is normally done on a Yartzite can be viewed as belittling to the respect of Shabbos, as it could be interpreted as if also on Shabbos one ideally needs to fast. Therefore, it is better not to make a Siyum at all on the Shabbos of the Yartzite. [Rebbe ibid]
[168] Hisvadyus 5744 2:873; 5749 2:302
[169] Rama 376:4; Maharil; Shaar Hakavanos and Nagid Mitzvah that so was custom of Arizal; Nitei Gavriel 60:5
Other customs: [In the past] the Sefaradim were not accustomed to reciting Kaddish on the day of the Yartzite of a parent. [Rashal, brought in Gilyon Maharsha 376:4; See Sichas 9th Shevat 1951] The saying of Kaddish on a Yartzite has no source in the Talmud. [Chinuch Beis Yosef 83, brought in Gilyon Maharsha 376:4] They do, however, recite it on the Shabbos before the Yartzite, as brought in Halacha 3B. Practically, today the custom amongst many Sephardim is to recite Kaddish from the Shabbos before the Yartzite until after the Yartzite.
[170] See regarding the year of Aveilus, and the same would apply on the day of the Yartzite: Igros Kodesh 14:188; 17:270; Toras Menachem 27:477 [published in Shulchan Menachem 5:298-301];This was a directive of the Rebbe Rayatz and was written in the will of Rebbe Rashab [brought in Igros Kodesh 14:188; This was the custom of the Rebbe Rashab, brought in Igros Kodesh Rashab [Halacha] 80 and Igros Kodesh Rashab 2:904; This was the will of Rebbe Maharash, brought in Igros Kodesh Maharash p. 104; See Kovetz Or Yisrael 23:198
The reason: This is done because each Kaddish saves the parent from Gehinnom for 1.5 hours, and hence to save the parent for the full day one needs to say 16 Kaddeishim. [Igros Kodesh 14:188; 17:270; Toras Menachem ibid] Now, although Rav Chaim Vital explained the Zohar figuratively, nevertheless the other Mifarshei Hazohar agree with the simple explanation. [Igros Kodesh 14:188]
[171] Birkeiy Yosef 376 based on a story recorded in Vayakhel Moshe; Zechor Liavaraham; Misgeres Hashulchan 221:5 that the same applies on a Yartzite
[172] Sefer Haminhagim p. 32 [English]; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 147:9; Pnei Baruch 34:14; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 chapter 45; 70:16
[173] Shaareiy Efraim 10:9 and Ketzos Hashulchan 84 footnote 3 regarding if the Avel received Maftir or Shelishi; However, see Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 35 for Poskim who write the Avel is not to say it on Shabbos and Yom Tov
[174] See Rama 376:4; M”A 132:2
[175] See Nitei Gavriel 60:7 and 17
[176] Many avoid doing so due to Sakana. [Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 24] Omitted from Mateh Efraim in next footnote
[177] Mateh Efraim Kaddish 3:3; Alef Lamateh 3:3:
[178] See Ikarei Hadaat 29:34; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 11; Nitei Gavriel 70:9-10
[179] See M”A 132:2; Levush 133:3; Mateh Efraim 3:4; Machatzis Hashekel on M”A ibid that the Tefila in approximation to the Yartzite is also helpful; Nitei Gavriel 70:9
[180] See Kaf Hachaim [Falagi] 28:68 in name of Chida in Kikar Laeden 5:11
[181] Nitei Gavriel 60:4
[182] Rama 376:4; Maharil; Nitei Gavriel 60:5
[183] Sefer Hamamarim 5708 p. 147; Sefer Haminhagim [English] p. 52 and 180 regarding Yartzite falling on Friday and footnote 213 regarding Shabbos; Igros Kodesh 3:20 regarding both Shabbos and Friday [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:327]; See however Beir Heiytiv 132:5 in name of Kneses Yechezkal 14 that these Kaddeishim belong to Shabbos; See Nitei Gavriel 44:23
[184] The reason: If the Yartzite falls on Friday he is to say the Kaddish as ideally Melacha is permitted until Barchu is recited, and it is hence part of the Friday prayers. [Footnote of Rebbe in Sefer Haminhagim ibid based on Admur 261:7] It goes without saying that this Kaddish is recited by one whose Yartzite is on Shabbos as it is said as part of the Shabbos prayers, as well as that it is today always said after sunset when the Yartzite has already begun. [Beir Heiytiv ibid; See Shulchan Menachem ibid footnote 10]
[185] Rama ibid in name of Maharil regarding Kaddish that he overrides the 12 month Avel but not the Shiva Avel, and splits the Kaddeishim with the Shloshim Avel; Shach 376:10; M”A 132:2; Biur Halacha ibid; See Beis Lechem Yehuda 376
[186] Rama ibid regrading Kaddish that the Yartzite gets one Kaddish; Taz 376:4; Biur Halacha ibid
Other Poskim: Some Poskim rule the Shloshim does not get any Kaddeishim or Tefilos over the Yartzite. [Minhagim, brought in Taz 376:4] Other Poskim rule that one who is within Shloshim receives precedence over a Yartzite. [Igros Moshe Yoreh Deah 4:60] The Poskim however rule as does the Rama and Mishneh Berurah and so is the custom. [Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 117]
[187] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Sefer Hamamarim 5708 p. 146; Igros Kodesh 16:12; Toras Menachem 2 p. 125; Sefer Haminhagim p. 19 [English]; Shulchan Menachem 5:163; Seder Minhagei Yartzite Chabad [Heichal Menachem]
[188] The reason: Each of the five candles correspond to one of the five levels of the soul which are Nefesh, Ruach, Neshama, Chaya, Yechida.
[189] Custom of Rabbeim and some Chassidim, as explained below; See Shaareiy Teshuvah 154:20 and M”B 154:56 that it was accustomed to light a 24 hour candle in Shul on the day of the Yartzite
Custom of Rabbeim to light five 24-hour candles: The custom of the Rebbeim was to light five 24-hour candles in Shul by the Amud for the day of the Yartzite. [So was custom of Rebbe Rayatz and Rebbe Rashab, as brought in Reshimos 183:11 and so was the custom of the Rebbe, as related to me by Rabbi Leibal Groner;] This is despite the fact that Sefer Haminhagim ibid clearly writes to have it lit at the time of Davening. Rabbi Groner concluded to me that “There are many chassidim that do the same thing. Each one should do according to their feeling.”
[190] Torah Leshma 520 that the son himself is to light the candle on behalf of his father or mother; Directive of Rebbe repeated by Rav Leibal Groner, recorded in Hiskashrus 680; Custom of Rebbe Rayatz, recorded in Reshimos 183:11
[191] Directive of Rebbe repeated by Rav Leibal Groner, recorded in Hiskashrus 680
[192] Directive of Rebbe repeated by Rav Leibal Groner, recorded in Hiskashrus 680
[193] M”A 282:18; Levush 282; Shaareiy Efraim 2:1; Biur Halacha 136 “Shabbos”; Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; See Nitei Gavriel 70:13-15
[194] Sichos Kodesh 5737 1:424 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:321] “The old age custom amongst Chassidim is to give a Tikkun”; Hisvadyus 5745 5:2717; 5750 1:245; Nitei Gavriel 71:1 [see there footnote 1 for reasons]; Minchas Yitzchak 6:135; Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:7
[195] See Nitei Gavriel 71:2
[196] Sidur Beis Yaakov Emek Habacha “Seder Limud Yartzite” page 406
[197] Omitted from the Rebbe’s letter of directives for the Yartzite of the Rebbe Raytaz; Omitted from Sefer Haminhagim; Written in Seder Yartzite of Heichal Menachem regarding visiting the Beis Hachaim [however, not as part of the Seder Yartzite]
[198] Rashi Yevamos 122a regarding Yartzite of Tzadik; Kav Hayashar 71; Kesav Sofer Y.D. 179; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 16; Nitei Gavriel 71:18; Chapter 76:1 footnote 1 in length
[199] Nitei Gavriel 76:18
[200] Nitei Gavriel 76:11 in name of Dudaei Hasadeh 21; See Chapter 9 for the full laws relating to a Kohen.
[201] Implication of ruling of Rebbe ibid; See Nitei Gavriel 76:14-15 for different customs, he concludes in footnote 22 that the widespread custom is to visit on Erev Yom Tov.
[202] See Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2 76:12 p. 576
Other opinions/customs: Some write that one may choose to visit the grave on Rosh Chodesh, so long as he does not mention words of eulogy or recite the Maaneh Lashon or other lamentations. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:14; See Gesher Hachaim Vol. 1 ch. 29 p. 259]
[203] Ikarei Hadaat 36:35; Kaf Hachaim 568:94 regarding a Yartzite that falls on Shabbos; See also Likkutei Sichos 19 p. 130 regarding Tzedaka; Igros Kodesh 14:324; Sefer Hasichos 10th Shevat 1957; See Michaber 569:9 who equates Shabbos and Rosh Chodesh regarding delaying the fast, and thus just as we [Asheknazim] rule to precede the fast to Friday, so too we precede the visiting of the grave to Erev Rosh Chodesh. See Halacha 15B!
[204] See Gesher Hachaim 32:5; Opinions regarding Shabbos, brought in Halacha 15B!
[205] Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeishev 22; Kaf Hachaim 670:23; Piskeiy Teshuvos 670:1; Nitei Gavriel 76:16
[206] Brought in Piskeiy Teshuvos 670:1
[207] Gesher Hachaim 1 p. 259
[208] Gesher Hachaim 1 p. 259; The following Poskim rule it is forbidden to visit it on Purim: M”A 696/5 in name of Mahrash Halevi 13; Kneses Hagedola 696; Olas Shabbos 696/2; Elya Raba 696/3; M”B 696/8; Kaf Hachaim 696/17
Ruling of M”A ibid: The M”A ibid rules that it is forbidden to visit the grave even on Erev Purim. That however only refers to a case that the Aveilus is ending on Purim, as then people will mistakenly think that Purim ends Aveilus. If however the Aveilus truly ended on Erev Purim, the M”A never negates the visitation. See also next footnote.
[209] Nitei Gavriel Pesach 3/8 [p. 54]; Aveilus 76:17; 83:8-9
[210] See Nitei Gavriel ibid; Gesher Hachaim 1 p. 259; Directive of Rebbe to asker to visit the Kever on Erev Rosh Chodesh Nissan, brought in Hiskashrus 609:18, Shulchan Menachem 5:329
[211] Gesher Hachaim 1 p. 259
[212] Nitei Gavriel 76:5
[213] Kav Hayashar 71; Nitei Gavriel 76:10
[214] Nitei Gavriel 76:3; 80:1
[215] The following additional Nussach is added in Maaneh Lashon:
אתה גיבור לעולם אדני, מחיה מתים אתה, רב להושיע מכלכל חיים בחסד מחיה מתים ברחמים רבים, סומך נופלים, ורופא חולים, ומתיר אסורים, ומקים אמונתו לישני עפר. מי כמוך בעל גבורות ומי דומה לך, מלך ממית ומחייה ומצמיח ישועה: ונאמן אתה להחיות מתים.
[216] See Kitzur SHU”A 221:6; Nitei Gavriel 71:7
[217] Nitei Gavriel 71:16; See Toras Menachem 1:252
[218] See Igros Kodesh 3:128; 17:271; Hisvadyus 5750 1:239; Yagdil Torah 31:333 in name of Alter Rebbe; Nitei Gavriel 64; 71:8-10
[219] Yaavetz in Siddur Beis Yaakov Emek Habacha page 402; See Igros Kodesh ibid that the effects of learning Mishnayos according to the name is very differnet than the learning of Mishnayos in accordance to the Seder.
[220] Igros Kodesh 17:271, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:313
[221] Nitei Gavriel 71:8
[222] Nitei Gavriel 71:14
[223] Sefer Haminhagim p. 77; Igros Kodesh 3:128 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:322]
[224] Mishmeres Shalom Lamed 24; Igros Kodesh 17:271, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:313; Nitei Gavriel 64:4
Other customs: Some are accustomed to also recite the chapters that correspond to the parents name. [Nitei Gavriel ibid]
[225] Igros Kodesh 17:271, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:313
[226] Igros Kodesh 19:214, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:314
[227] Nitei Gavriel 71:13
[228] Mishmeres Shalom Yud 15; Likkutei Sichos 19:132, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:326 “The custom is to give charity on the day of the Yartzite, which has the status of a Neder”; Nitei Gavriel 71:5
[229] Rebbe in Likkutei Sichos ibid; See Admur 249:13
[230] Rebbe in Likkutei Sichos ibid
[231] Rebbe in Shulchan Menachem 5:321; Nitei Gavriel 71:3
[232] Nitei Gavriel 71:15
[233] Mishmeres Shalom Beis 35; Nitei Gavriel 71:19
[234] Michaber 240:1; Kiddushin 31b; Nitei Gavriel 70:18
[235] Other Nussach: The Talmud ibid and Tur states to say “Zichronam Levracha Lechayey Olam Haba”, one is thus to write זללה”ה. [Taz 24:13]
[236] Rama ibid; Maharil 24;
[237] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:14; Nitei Gavriel chapter 73
[238] Regarding the fast, some Poskim rule the fast is to take place on Sunday. [Michaber 568:9; Devar Moshe 68; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 568:94 and so he concludes] Other Poskim rule the fast is to take place on Friday. [Kavod Chachamim, brought in Lechem Hapanim 376; Pnei Aaron 27, brought in Kaf Hachaim 568:94] Other Poskim rule that one does not fast at all in such a situation. [Rama 568:9] Other Poskim rule that although the fast is to take place on Sunday, the visitation to the Kever is to take place on Friday. [Dvar Moshe ibid, brought in Ikarei Hadaat 36:35 and Kaf Hachaim ibid] The custom of Jerusalem is to recite the prayers and Torah relevant to the Yartzite on Erev Shabbos. [brought in Sdei Chemed Aveilus 96, Toras Menachem 19:31]; See Nitei Gavriel 76:12
[239] Conclusion of Rebbe in Igros Kodesh 8:125; 14:324; Likkutei Sichos 19:132 regarding Tzedaka; Toras Menachem 19:31 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:323-324]
[240] Toras Menachem 19:31 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:322]
[241] Implication of ruling of Rebbe ibid; See Nitei Gavriel 76:14 for different customs
[242] Toras Menachem 19:31 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:322]
[243] Toras Menachem ibid; see also Likkutei Sichos 19:132 who discusses this matter from the aspect of a Neder and that perhaps one must wait until after Shabbos to give the charity, although concludes to give it before Shabbos in order to perform the Mitzvah as soon as possible.
[244] Devar Moshe 68; Ikarei Hadaat 36:35; Kaf Hachaim 568:94; Minhag Yerushalayim, brought in Sdei Chemed Aveilus 96, Toras Menachem 19:31; Conclusion of Rebbe in Igros Kodesh 8:125; 14:324; Toras Menachem 19:31 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:323-324]; See Nitei Gavriel 76:12
Other customs: Some are accustomed to visit the Kever on Sunday. [Gesher Hachaim 32:5; See Nitei Gavriel ibid]
[245] Nitei Gavriel 76:13
[246] Implication of ruling of Rebbe ibid; See Nitei Gavriel 76:14-15 for different customs, he concludes in footnote 22 that the widespread custom is to visit on Erev Yom Tov.
[247] Michaber 568:9; Igros Kodesh 8:125, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:324
[248] Some Poskim rule the fast is to take place on Sunday. [Michaber 568:9; Devar Moshe 68; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 568:94 and so he concludes] Other Poskim rule the fast is to take place on Friday. [Kavod Chachamim; Pnei Aaron 27, brought in Kaf Hachaim 568:94] Other Poskim rule that one does not fast at all in such a situation. [Rama 568:9] This is because Shabbos itself serves as the Kaparah, and is greater than 1000 fasts. [Rebbe in Toras Menachem 19:31, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:323] See Igros Kodesh ibid that one who desires to fast should follow the second opinion and fast on Erev Shabbos. If he can’t, then he should fast on Sunday or not fast at all.
[249] Toras Menachem 1984 2:873 and 5749 2:302 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:325]; See Koveitz Or Yisrael 47:183; The Rebbe himself would not make a Siyum when the Yartzite of his father or mother fell on Shabbos.
Other customs: Some are accustomed to make a Siyum on Shabbos, in such a case. [Gesher Hachaim 32:3; Nitei Gavriel 73:2] Others do it on Erev Shabbos. [Ikarei Hadaat 36:35]
[250] The reason: As the entire reason behind the Siyum is to nullify the fast, and since when a Yartzite falls on Shabbos we anyways do not fast, there is therefore no reason for the Siyum. Furthermore, to make a Siyum on the Shabbos Yartzite as is normally done on a Yartzite can be viewed as belittling to the respect of Shabbos, as it could be interpreted as if also on Shabbos one ideally needs to fast. Therefore, it is better not to make a Siyum at all on the Shabbos of the Yartzite.[Rebbe ibid]
[251] Nitei Gavriel 73:3 that so is the custom
Other opinions: Some Poskim write that the custom is to wear the weekday Tallis on the Shabbos of the Yartzite. [Beir Heiytiv 395:3]
[252] Admur 261:2 “It is permitted to tell a gentile to light the candle of the day of death of one’s father or mother as the world is very careful in this”; M”A 261:6; Shut Rashal 46; Kitzur SHU”A 90:23
[253] The reason it is permitted to ask a gentile: As the world is very careful in this lighting and it is thus considered like a great need for which the Sages permitted Rabbinical Melacha to be done during Bein Hashmashos. [Admur ibid]
[254] Admur ibid limits allowance to Bein Hashmashos; Kuntrus Achron 263:4 in interpretation of M”A 263:11; See Admur 276:8; Shoel Umeishiv Shishi 33; Nitei Gavriel 75:15
[255] Pashut, as by other relatives it is not the worldly custom and is not judged as a great need.
[256] M”B 298:30; See Admur 298:15-17
[257] The reason: As it has been lit for the soul of the departed and not for light. [M”B ibid]
[258] See Admur 514:13-14; Biur Halacha 514:5 “Ner”; Kaf Hachaim 514:79; Piskeiy Teshuvos 514:14; Nitei Gavriel 55:2
[259] Admur 514:13; Michaber 514:5
[260] Biur Halacha ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 70; Nitei Gavriel ibid; See SSH”K 13 footnote 27
The reason: As it is forbidden to light a Ner Shel Batala on Yom Tov. [Admur 514:13; Michaber 514:5]
[261] Nitei Gavriel ibid
[262] Admur 514:14; Michaber 514:4; P”M 132 M”Z 2; Kesav Zofer 75; Biur Halacha ibid; Kaf Hachaim ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid
The reason: One may light any candle in Shul, as it is considered a Neir Shel Mitzvah, as it gives honor to the Shul. [Admur 514:14; Michaber 514:4]
Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule one may never light a Yartzite candle on Yom Tov, even in Shul. [Daas Torah 514 in name of Imrei Eish] Some rule one may only do so through a gentile. [Kitzur SHU”A 98:1]
[263] P”M 132 M”Z 2; Daas Torah 514 in name of Imrei Eish 40; Kitzur SHU”A 98:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid
The reason: As it does not add any light to the house even at night being that we have electricity. Thus, it may not be lit as it is considered a light that serves no purpose which is forbidden to be lit on Yom Tov. [Admur 514:13; Michaber 514:5; P”M ibid]
[264] Kesav Sofer 75; Biur Halacha 514:5 “Neir”; Kaf Hachaim 514:79
[265] Kesav Sofer ibid; Biur Halacha ibid; Kaf Hachaim ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid
The reason: As it is permitted to light a Ner Shel Mitzvah [Admur 514:14; Michaber 514:5] and a Yartzite candle can be considered a Ner Shel Mitzvah, being that it is lit for the honor of one’s parents. [Kesav Sofer ibid; Biur Halacha ibid; Kaf hachaim ibid]
[266] P”M 132 M”Z 2; Daas Torah ibid; Kitzur SHU”A ibid
[267] Nitei Gavriel 75:16
[268] The reason: As the custom of lighting a Yizkor candle is not very clear, and many even initially are not accustomed to do so. Nevertheless, one who is in great anguish that a candle is not lit and is doing so in honor of a parent, seemingly may be lenient if there is no other alternative of lighting it.
[269] Kitzur SHU”A ibid
[270] See Nitei Gavriel 56:5
The reason: As there is no Mitzvah of honoring these other relatives, and hence the candle is not considered a Ner Shel Mitzvah, but rather a Ner Shel Batala.
[271] Aruch Hashulchan 514:19; Nitei Gavriel 56:6
[272] Sefer Hamamarim 5708 p. 147; Sefer Haminhagim [English] p. 52 and 180 regarding Yartzite falling on Friday and footnote 213 regarding Shabbos; Igros Kodesh 3:20 regarding both Shabbos and Friday [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:327]; See however Beir Heiytiv 132:5 in name of Kneses Yechezkal 14 that these Kaddeishim belong to Shabbos; See Nitei Gavriel 44:23
Davening before nightfall: See Chelkas Yaakov 3:149 and Nitei Gavriel 73:1 that one may Daven Kabalas Shabbos and Maariv before dark, if that is his weekly custom, even though the Yartzite is on Shabbos.
[273] The reason: If the Yartzite falls on Friday he is to say the Kaddish as ideally Melacha is permitted until Barchu is recited, and it is hence part of the Friday prayers. [footnote of Rebbe in Sefer Haminhagim ibid based on Admur 261:7] It goes without saying that this Kaddish is recited by one whose Yartzite is on Shabbos as it is said as part of the Shabbos prayers, as well as that it is today always said after sunset when the Yartzite has already begun. [Beir Heiytiv ibid; See Shulchan Menachem ibid footnote 10]
[274] Igros Kodesh 14:430 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:304]; Minchas Yitzchak 9:134; Betzeil Hachochmah 4:199; See Hiskashrus 569:18; Dudaei Hasadeh 44; Vayilaket Yopsef 14:41; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 56:2; However, see Divei Malkiel 6:23
[275] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181; Shaareiy Efraim 9:42; Darkei Chaim 34:12; Nimukei Orach Chaim 282; Darkei Chaim Veshalom 210; Gesher Hachaim 32:2; Orchos Rabbeinu in name of Chazon Ish; Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9 footnotes 81-82 and 284 footnote 13; Nitei Gavriel 69:8
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is to receive an Aliyah for Maftir on the preceding Shabbos even in such a case, and on the Shabbos of the Yartzite he is to get one of the seven Aliyos. [Nishmas Kol Chaiy Y.D. 72; Maaseh Avraham 56; Chasam Sofer 6:103; Orchos Chaim 282:15 in name of Rav Chaim Falagi; Koveitz Mibeis Levi 12; See Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9 footnotes 81-82 and 284 footnote 13; Nitei Gavriel 69:8]
[276] See Toras Menachem 4:266 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:317]
[277] See regarding Yartzite of a parent: Birkeiy Yosef 284:1; Shaareiy Efraim 9:42; Kitzur SHU”A 78:11; Kaf Hachaim 284:6; Ketzos Hashulchan 88:1; Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Halacha 3C!
[278] See Admur 282:1-3; Tzemach Tzedek 35; Ketzos Hashulchan 84:1; Sefer Haminhagim p. 61 [English]
[279] See Rama 376:4 regarding Yartzite of a parent; Halacha 7B!
[280] See Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Sefer Hamamarim 5708 p. 146; Igros Kodesh 16:12; Toras Menachem 2 p. 125; Sefer Haminhagim p. 19 [English]; Shulchan Menachem 5:163; Halacha 7C!
[281] Custom of Rabbeim and some Chassidim, as explained below; See Shaareiy Teshuvah 154:20 and M”B 154:56 that it was accustomed to light a 24 hour candle in Shul on the day of the Yartzite
Custom of Rabbeim to light five 24 hour candles: The custom of the Rebbeim was to light five 24 hour candles in Shul by the Amud for the day of the Yartzite. [So was custom of Rebbe Rayatz and Rebbe Rashab, as brought in Reshimos 183:11 and so was the custom of the Rebbe, as related to me by Rabbi Leibal Groner;] This is despite the fact that Sefer Haminhagim ibid clearly writes to have it lit at the time of Davening. Rabbi Groner concluded to me that “There are many chassidim that do the same thing. Each one should do according to their feeling.”
[282] See regarding Yartzite of a parent: Admur 261:2; M”A 261:6; Shut Rashal 46; Nachalas Shiva 38; Kesav Sofer 75; Kitzur SHU”A 221:1; Biur Halacha 514:5 “Neir”; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 16; Kaf Hachaim 514:79; Gesher Hachaim 32:4; Nitei Gavriel 71:6; chapter 75; Sefer Haminhagim p. 180; Halacha 5!
[283] See Sefer Haminahgim p. 166; Nitei Gavriel 75:8
[284] Sefer Haminhgaim p. 180 [English]
[285] Torah Leshma 520
[286] Moed Lekol Chaiy 3; Nitei Gavriel 75:1; See Admur 610:8; Rama 610:4 regarding Yom Kippur candle
[287] See Sefer Haminhagim p. 36; Glosses of Rebbe to Sefer Hamamarim 1949 p. 74 and 1950 p. 6; Igros Kodesh 11:33 [published in Shulchan Menachem 5:301]
[288] See Minchas Yitzchak 8:53; Nitei Gavriel 90:7
[289] Interestingly, this custom was not directly recorded in the above-mentioned letter of the Rebbe
[290] Sichas Parshas Vayeitzei 5711 9
[291] See Yaavetz in Siddur Beis Yaakov Emek Habacha page 402; See Igros Kodesh Igros Kodesh 17:271 that the effects of learning Mishnayos according to the name is very different than the learning of Mishnayos in accordance to the Seder; See Halacha 10!
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