1. The order upon returning home:

A. Coming home to a set table:^[1]

One is to prepare the Seder table on Erev Pesach, before Yom Tov.^[2] [This, however, is with exception to the Seder plate which is only prepared once the father returns from Shul.^[3] The cushions for leaning are to also be prepared at this time. It is not necessary to prepare cushions for women if they are not accustomed to lean.]

Having beautiful vessels on the table:^[4] On the night of Pesach [by the Seder] it is proper to place many beautiful vessels [of gold and silver^[5]] on the table, in accordance to that which one can afford. [Also the cups are to be beautiful and splendor.^[6]] One should not diminish in placing beautiful vessels on the table even though it is proper to do so during the year in commemoration of the Churban.^[7] Even vessels that are not needed for the meal are to be placed on the table.^[8] Even [non-Chameitz^[9]] vessels that one is holding as a Mashkon from a gentile are to be set on the table.^[10] The vessels are to be well organized on the table, thus making the table beautiful. All this is done in order to serve as remembrance of the redemption [and expresses one’s great joy and gratitude of all the kindness that Hashem has done for us^[11]].^[12] [It is likewise done in fulfillment of the Talmudic dictum which requires one to express himself in a form of freedom and luxury as if he had just been emancipated from Egypt.^[13]]

• Maaseh Rebbe:^[14] On the Seder table of the Rebbe there weren’t any silver vessels placed there for beautification purposes, with exception to those vessels needed for the meal. In the center of the table, the cup of Eliyahu was already set up. This cup was made of glass, and was larger than the regular Kiddush cups. [However, on the Seder table of the other Rabbeim, beginning from the Alter Rebbe until the Rebbe Maharash, they were particular to place all the silver and gold vessels on the table. Some of the Rabbeim had a particular table set up for this purpose. The Tzemach tzedek instructed his daughter in-law, the wife of the Rebbe Maharash, to make sure that all the gold and silver vessels are set up and revealed before all, in commemoration of the fact that G-d took us out with wealth.^[15]]

 

Not to have Matzos on the table:[16] Some Poskim[17] rule that [other than the three Matzos on the Kearah[18]] one is not to have any other Matzah on the table until after the Seder [i.e. until after Maggid].[19] [Some[20], however, explain that the Matzos that will be eaten by the household members for the Mitzvah of Motzi Matzah are to be on the table during the Seder and recital of Maggid. Others[21], however, negate this and state that other than the three Matzos on the Kearah, there is not to be any other Matzah on the table, and so is the custom.]

 

B. Coming home immediately after Davening:^[22]

One is to return home immediately after Davening has concluded in order to begin the Seder right away. Even if one is in the Beis Hamidrash he is to immediately get up and go home.^[23] [The custom of the Rabbeim was to begin the Seder of the first night immediately after Maariv in order to eat the Afikoman before midnight. However, on the second night, they would begin the Seder much later into the night.^[24]]

Acting like kings:[25] The husband and wife are to act like a King and Queen and his children are to act like princes by the Seder. They are to prepare vessels of gold and silver and wear silk and expensive garments of all that Hashem has made available for them. This is all done to express one’s great joy and gratitude of all the kindness that Hashem has done for us. Mikveh night falls on the night of Seder: If Mikveh night falls on the night of the Seder, it is not to be delayed to another night, despite the difficulties involved, as explained in Halacha 19D. In such a case all preparations are to be made before Yom Tov, in order so the Seder can begin immediately upon the wife’s arrival home. The wife is to try to immerse immediately after nightfall, and return home immediately afterwards. In the event of a long delay, the husband is to at least have his children begin the Seder, in her absence, in order so he can fulfill his Mitzvah of Vehigadeta Libincha. He, however, may choose to delay starting his own Seder until his wife returns. Nonetheless, in all cases, the couple must arrange to finish eating the Matzah of Motzi Matzah before midnight, and if one indeed estimates that she will not be able to return with enough time to do so, then the immersion is to be delayed for the next night.[26]

C. Distributing nuts to the children:^[27]

It is a Mitzvah to distribute nuts^[28] [or other sweets^[29]] to the children on the night^[30] of Pesach, prior to the start of the Seder.^[31]

D. Shalom Aleichem and Eishes Chayil when Pesach falls on Shabbos:^[32]

When Pesach falls on Shabbos one is to recite Shalom Aleichem and Eishes Chayil in an undertone upon returning home from Shul. In Kiddush [by Kadesh] one likewise recites Mizmor Ledavid Hashem Ro’i and Da Hi Se’udasa in an undertone.

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[1] Admur 472:1; Michaber 472:1

[2] The reason: The table to be set before Yom Tov in order so one can start the meal immediately after dark. The reason one is to begin the meal immediately upon the entrance of night is in order to be able to perform the Seder [the portion of Maggid] while the children are still awake, as the Torah states “Vehigadta Livincha Bayom Hahu”. [Admur ibid; Michaber ibid] The meal is considered “started” once the Karpas is consumed after Kiddush. [Kaf Hachaim 472:1]

[3] Hagada of Rebbe; See 473:25

[4] Admur 4472:6; Michaber 472:2; Drashos Maharil Agadah; Chok Yaakov 472:4; Kaf Hachaim 472:10-12

[5] Shlah Hakadosh Miseches Pesachim; See Kaf Hachaim 472:11 that one is to especially use silver cups, as it hints to Chesed

[6] Kaf Hachaim 472:11

[7] Admur ibid; M”A 472:2; Maharil p. 88; See

[8] Admur ibid; Chok Yaakov 472:4

[9] Such as vessels that a gentile never yet used, or that one Kashered before Pesach. Upashut, that it is forbidden to place Chameitz vessels of a gentile on the table, as brought in 451:1.

[10] Admur ibid; M”A 472:2; Maharil p. 88; Chok Yaakov 472:4; See Admur Gezeila Ugeneiva 4 and Kuntrus Achron 6 that using the Mashkon of a gentile is not considered stealing; See also Shach Y.D. 120:19 and Taz Y.D. 120:11; However one may not use the Mashkon of a Jew due to stealing. [Admur ibid] The Mashkon of a gentile does not require Tevila. [Shach ibid]

[11] Shlah Hakadosh Miseches Pesachim

[12] Admur ibid; Chok Yaakov 472:4

[13] Bach 472; Kaf Hachaim 472:9

[14] Maaaseh Melech p. 196 and 206

[15] See Likkutei Dibburim p. 268; Sefer Hasichos 5705 p. 83; 5696 p. 130; Otzer Minhagei Chabad pp. 113-114

[16] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 473:28

[17] M”A 473:26; Maharil; Chok Yaakov 473:38 [however he writes the Matzos may be returned again when the Kearah is returned after Mah Nishtana]; M”B 473:66; Kaf Hachaim 473:141; This Halacha was omitted from Admur, Vetzarcuh Iyun!

[18] P”M 473 A”A 26

[19] The reason: This is because if other Matzos remain on the table, then there is no recognition for the children to ask a question upon the Keraha being moved aside prior to Mah Nishtanah. [Implication of Poskim ibid; Chok Yaakov ibid] Alternatively, the reason is in order so participants at the Seder do not come to accidentally eat from it before the end of Maggid. [Possible understanding of M”A ibid] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 473 footnote 154 that due to this latter reason, the above custom is to be followed even today when many no longer move the Kearah at all.

[20] Vayaged Moshe 2:3

[21] Nitei Gavriel 67 footnote 10 in name of Klozinburger Rebbe

[22] Admur 472:1; Michaber 472:1; Rebbe Akiva in Pesachim 109a; Minhagei Marsileo Pesach-Leil Pesach “It is befitting not to delay the stay in Shul, as the Gemara Pesachim 109a states that we “grab” Matzah for the sake that the children do not fall asleep”

[23] The reason: The reason one is to return home immediately upon the entrance of night is because it is a Mitzvah to hurry and begin the Seder for the sake of the children, prior to them falling asleep, as the Torah states “Vehigadta Livincha Bayom Hahu”. [Admur ibid; Michaber ibid; Pesachim ibid; Kaf Hachaim 472:2-3]

[24] Sefer Haminhagim p.38 [Hebrew]; Likkutei Dibburim Likkut 23; Hayom Yom p. 45; Toras Menachem 3:15-17 [That “so was the custom of Rabboseinu Nisieinu, and that so is to be done by all their Chassidim , to begin the second Seder at 9:00 and end a few hours after midnight”; Otzer Minhagei Chabad p. 119-123; Shulchan Menachem 2:315

The reason: Based on Nigleh, there indeed is no reason to differentiate between the two nights, however, based on Chassidus and Kabbalah, evidently there is a difference. [Toras Menachem ibid]

[25] Shlah Hakadosh Miseches Pesachim

[26] Pashut, as the Mitzvah of Mikveh immersion does not push off any positive command in the Torah, and hence since one is required to eat the Matzah before midnight according to many Poskim [See Chapter 3 Halacha 3], therefore the Mikveh immersion must be delayed if one cannot immerse on time. It once occurred in a certain city that the Mikveh malfunctioned on the night of the Seder and women were waiting outside until after midnight to immerse. This was incorrect and they should have been instructed to go home and perform the Seder, and come back later to see if the Mikveh is open.

[27] Admur 472:31; Michaber 472:16; Pesachim 108b; See Kaf Hachaim 472:96-98

[28] Literally “Kelayos and Egozim”

Definition of Kelayos: We find different explanations as to the meaning of the word Kelayos. Some say it means roasted wheat kernels. [Rashi in Pesachim 109a] Others say it refers to a certain species of fruit. [Raavan Pesachim 164, brought in Elya Raba 473:19]

Definition of Egozim: It is unclear what the exact definition of an Egoz is, if it includes all nuts or refers to a specific nut such as the walnut. [See Machatzis Hashekel 583:4; Koveitz Or Yisrael 1:106 for a discussion regarding the exact definition of an Egoz; See also Admur 583:6 “Egozim, or Luzim which are small Egozim”]

[29] Pashut, as the entire purpose is to make the children wonder, and hence as long as one distributes something that makes them wonder the purpose is fulfilled; see also Admur 529:6 who says “Kelyaos or Egozim”  and both of these Halachos of distributing nuts to children on Erev Pesach and are Yom Tov are learned from the same passage of the Gemara in Pesachim 109a; Now, regarding distributing on Yom Tov Admur states in Hilchos Talmud Torah 1:10 “On Yom Tov itself when it is a Mitzvah to rejoice the children with those items that are joyful for them such as Egozim and like, as was explained in Hilchos Yom Tov”; So also writes Beir Moshe 7:3; Chol Hamoed Kehilchaso 1:18; See Rambam Hilchos Yom Tov 18 who adds “Kelayos and Egozim and Migdanos”

[30] Admur ibid; Omitted in Michaber ibid; Pesachim ibid states to distribute on “Erev Pesach”

[31] The reason: This is done in order so the children view a change [from the normal order of a meal] and be aroused to ask questions regarding why this night is any different than the other nights. Now although on this particular question [of why they are receiving nuts] we do not have an answer to tell them, nevertheless through them viewing this change, and being aroused to ask questions, they will likewise become aroused to ask regarding other changes that they see, such as the eating of Matzah and Maror, and the leaning position. When they will ask these questions we will then answer them that “Avadim Hayinu etc.” [Admur ibid; Michaber ibid]

Other reasons: The nuts are distributed to the children to prevent them from sleeping. [Pesachim ibid; Kaf Hachaim 472:97]

[32] Sefer Haminhagim p. 118 [English]; See Otzer Minhagei Chabad p. 142

Original Chabad custom: In the earlier prints of Hayom Yom p. 46 it stated that one does not say Shalom Aleichem or Eishes Chayil at all on Shabbos Yom Tov or Shabbos Chol Hamoed. This was based on an explicit directive of the Rebbe Rayatz that one is not to say it and that so was the custom of the Rebbe Rashab and the Rebbe Maharash, although there were some years in which they said it. [Reshimos 4:12 and 22]