From the Ravs Desk: Latest articles and Q&A [Sunday 10th Tamuz 5785]

Is this the last week to say Shehechiyanu on a new fruit before Bein Hametzarim?

Yes. One is not to eat new fruits, and recite Shehechiyanu over them, throughout the three weeks, including Shabbos, unless the fruit will not be available afterwards. Hence, this is the last week.

Saying Shehechiyanu during the Three Weeks – Shulchanaruchharav.com

While this matter is disputed amongst the Poskim, practically, the custom is to bury it in a designated area of the cemetery.

7. The funeral/burial of a Nefel: – Shulchanaruchharav.com

May a husband hold his wifes hand or embrace her during Nida if she is having a panic attack?

This matter is quite difficult according to halacha to permit, as holding hands is a form of Chiba and is not like other touch which is permitted by the husband in a time of great need if no one else is available. Likewise, a panic attack is not general defined as Pikuach Nefesh, and even if it were, affectionate touch could be prohibited even during Pikuach nefesh situations, due to Avizraiyhu of Giluiy Araos.

Indeed there are many other effective and respectful alternatives to holding someone’s hand during a panic attack. These techniques can help ground and calm the person without physical contact:

🧘‍♀️ Grounding Techniques (No Touch Required)

These help bring someone back to the present moment:

• 5-4-3-2-1 Method: Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.
• Focus on an object: Ask them to describe an object in detail—its color, texture, shape, etc.
• Temperature shift: Offer a cold drink or suggest they splash cold water on their face to reset their nervous system.

🌬️ Breathing Exercises

Help them regulate their breath, which can calm the body:

• Box breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4—repeat.
• 4-7-8 breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8 seconds.
• Diaphragmatic breathing: Encourage slow, deep breaths from the belly, not the chest.

More breathing methods are outlined in this guide from Reality Pathing.

🗣️ Verbal Support

Sometimes words are the most powerful

• “You’re safe. I’m here with you.”
• “This will pass. Let’s breathe together.”
• “Would you like me to talk you through a grounding exercise?”

🧍‍♂️ Presence Without Pressure

• Sit nearby: Just being physically present can be comforting.
• Offer space: Some people need quiet and room to breathe—respect that if they ask for it.
• Ask what they need: “What would help you right now?” gives them control.

25 Grounding Exercises for Panic Attacks