Ask the Rav: 1) Baruch Dayan Haemes for gentiles; 2) Karbanos before Alos; 3)Kever on Rosh Chodesh; 4) Children sewing on RC; 5)Wearing Tallis for Mincha; 6)Bathroom before Musaf

1. Question: [Monday, 1^st Mar Cheshvan 5781]

Should one say Baruch Dayan Haemes when hearing of the passing of a gentile? I am asking because a non-Jewish relative of a friend of mine passed away and would like to know if I may say it.

Answer:

There is no prohibition against doing so, as Hashem’s name is not being mentioned, and hence it is not considered a blessing. From a Halachic perspective, it is no different than saying it after the passing of a Jew. However, Admur in his Seder Birchas Hanehnin records that the custom of Jewry is specifically to say it after the passing of a Jew. This is seemingly coming to negate saying it by the passing of a non-Jew. However, what makes more sense is to say that Admur is simply saying that the custom is to always say it when hearing of the passing of a Jew as a Jew is naturally distressed when he hears of the passing of another Jew, however by a non-Jew it is left to one’s discretion and level of pain, and hence if one is pained by the death, he may recite it, and if he is not pained then he does not recite it, and perhaps should not recite it. Likewise, if a non-Jewish relative of an individual passed away, perhaps it may be said by him or his friends as a sign of comforting. Vetzaruch Iyun.

Sources: See Admur Seder 12:8 [writes the custom by Jews]; Luach 11/24 and 12:20 [seemingly negates Dayan Haemes by Non-Jew, unless one is pained]; Michaber 222/2; M”A 223/4 [relates Dayan Haemes to only Kosher Jew]; Kaf Hachaim 223/9

2. Question: [Monday, 1^st MarCheshvan 5781]

I have to get up very early in the morning for work, and would like to know if I may say Karbanos before Alos Hashachar so I can get a head start?

Answer:

You may say everything from Hareini Mikabel up until [but not including] the Parshas Hatamid even before Alos Hashachar. From the Parshas Hatamid and onwards, which consists of the reading of the actual Karbanos, one may only recite it during daytime after Alos. [Regarding Birchas Hashachar: You are to say Birchas Hatorah before Karbanos, however regarding the previous blessings of Birchas Hashachar you may only say those blessings  that you already benefited from and may not say those blessings that you did not get benefit from, such as Hanosein Lasechvi Bina, which is to be delayed until Alos].

Sources: Siddur Admur; Admur Kama 1:13; Basra 1:9; 47:9; 48:1; Michaber 1:6; M”A 1:10; M”B 47:32; Mateh Efraim 584:6-7; Ataz 1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 48:3

3. Question: [Monday, 1^st Mar Cheshvan 5781]

May one visit a gravesite on Rosh Chodesh?

Answer:

The Poskim write that one is not to do so, although the customs is to allow doing so, so long as one does not recite supplications there and simply recites Tehillim. Practically, one should not visit the gravesite of relatives on Rosh Chodesh although may visit the gravesite of Tzaidkim and say Tehillim there if he is unable to do on another day.

Sources: See here for the fall details of this matter:

4. Question: [Monday, 1^st Mar Cheshvan 5781]

May my young daughters perform sewing art on Rosh Chodesh?

Answer:

If they are below the age of Chinuch, then certainly this may be done. If they are above the age of Chinuch then it is proper to be avoided, although those who are lenient have upon whom to rely.

The reason: There are some Rabbanim who rule that the avoidance of Melacha only applies to married woman and hence certainly one may be lenient below the age of Chinuch, and even above the age of Chinuch there is room to be lenient based on the above, although it is best to be stringent to educate them to avoid it.

Sources: See Shevet Halevi 6:50 who prohibits a woman’s charity sewing group

5. Question: [Monday, 1^st MarCheshvan 5781]

We finished Davening Musaf late and went straight to Mincha. My question is whether I may continue wearing my Tallis Gadol for Mincha or if I should remove it?

Answer:

Although we do not specifically wear a Tallis Gadol for Mincha, seemingly there is no need to remove it prior to Davening Mincha, if there will be no delay between Mincha and Musaf. In fact, according to Kabbalah it is commendable to wear a Tallis Gadol for Mincha, and although we are not particular to do so, practically I see nothing wrong with leaving it on. Certainly according to Halacha there is no issue to continue wearing the Tallis Gadol, as one may wear it until nightfall/sunset.

Sources: See Admur 18:3; M”A 18:1; Shelah Bereishis Torah Or in name of Zohar and Arizal; Toras Chaim Sofer 37:2; Shulchan Hatahor 37:2; Shaar Hakavanos Derush 2 of Mincha brought in Kaf Hachaim 18:11-12; Rabbeinu Yeshaya brought in Birkeiy Yosef 18:1; Birkeiy Yosef 18:1; Siddur Beis Oved 33; Shaareiy Teshuvah 18:1 based on Zohar; Chesed Lealafim 18:1; Kaf Hachaim 18:12

6. Question: [Monday, 1^st MarCheshvan 5781]

Occasionally on days that there is a Musaf prayer I feel an urge to urinate before Musaf. Must I do so even in expense of missing the Minyan, or may I hold it in?

Answer:

You must use the bathroom and may not Daven until you do even if this will come on the expense of you missing the Minyan. Practically, prior to Musaf follows the same laws as prior to Shacharis or Mincha regarding all matters.

Sources: See Admur 92:1; M”B 92:8; Ketzos Hashulchan 12:1