Supporting one’s parents if the parents cannot afford it and the children can afford it

Supporting one’s parents if the parents cannot afford it and the children can afford it:[1]

If the parents cannot afford to support themselves, then if the child can afford it, then he must feed them [and pay their taxes[2]] from his own money according to his affordability, and is actually forced [by the Beis Din] to do so [if he refuses].[3] [This applies even if the father legally forgives his son from needing to support him, nevertheless he is forced to do so, as the father does not have the right to throw himself onto the public.[4]]

How much to give-In accordance to his charity obligations:[5] The Poskim[6], however, explain that the child is only obligated to support his parents from the moneys that he is obligated to give to charity [and not from his money which is in excess of his charity obligations]. [Thus, he is only obligated to support his parents with up to 1/5 of his earnings.[7] Likewise, if the son is so poor that he is not obligated in the giving of Maaser, then he is likewise not obligated to support his parents.[8] However, some Poskim[9] rule that if the child can afford it, then he must support his parents even past his charity obligations, and hence if his parents require much more than 1/5 of his earnings for their lifestyle[10], and he can afford it, then he must give them even more than 1/5. Likewise, these Poskim rule that we do not measure charity obligations in this regard according to the regular criteria of charity obligations, but rather according to what is accustomed the world to support one’s parents. Likewise, some Poskim[11] write that even when a child is exempt from supporting his parents due to his state of poverty, he is to be shamed by the public for not doing so. However, even according to this opinion, the son is only obligated to provide the father with the basics and not anything extra and extravagant.[12]]

Using charity money to support one’s parents: Coming up in Part 3!

[1] Michaber 240:5; 251:3-4; Rambam Mamrim 6:3; Kiddushin 32a, as instructed Rabanon to Rebbe Yirmiyah; Many Amoraim in Yerushalmi Kiddushin 1:7; Sheilasos Rav Achaia Parshas Yisro Sheila’s 56; Rif Kiddushin 13b; Tosafus Kiddushin ibid in name of Sheilasos ibid and Riy and Rabbeinu Chanel and Chachmei Anglia; Rosh Kiddushin 1:50; Bahag; Semag 112; Semak 50; Rashba 2:6; 4:56; 7:451; Sefer Hayirah of Rabbeinu Tam; Rabbeinu Yerucham; Ravayah 515; Maharam 541; Mordechai Kiddushin 498; Ritva Kiddushin ibid; Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:18-23 and Miluim p. 636; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid p. 392-393; Many Rishonim in footnote 310

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the son is not obligated to support his parents even if his parents cannot afford to support themselves. [Sefer Hayirah of Rabbeinu Tam in name of Yeish Omrim; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 325]

[2] Radbaz 2:663; Pischeiy Teshuvah 240:4

[3] Michaber ibid; Rambam ibid; Yerushalmi ibid; Almost all Rishonim ibid; Levush 240 [Rabbinical] See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 317 and 324

The reason that this can be enforced: Although we do not regularly enforce the fulfillment of a mitzvah that contains a reward by its side, as does the mitzvah of giving charity in which G-d promises one to be blessed [see Devarim 15:10], nevertheless, charity is an exception to the rule being that it also contains a negative command against being stingy and withholding charity. [Taz 240:6; Tosafus Bava Basra 8b; see Devarim 15:7; See Poskim in Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 321 and 357-359]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that we do not force the son to support his parents. [See Poskim in Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 322-323]

[4] Shvus Yaakov 3:75; Gilyon Maharsha 240:5

[5] See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid p. 393-400

[6] Opinion in Rama ibid; Ran Kiddushin 13a; Opinion of Michaber ibid, as understands Taz 240:6 and Shach 240:6 and Bach 240; Beis Yosef 240 and Bach 240 and Perisha 240:8 in understanding of Rambam Mamrim 6:3 and Tur 240; Implication of Rif Kiddushin 13b and Rosh Kiddushin 1:50; Yad Rameh Kiddushin ibid; Tosafus Kiddushin 32a in name of Sheilasos , Rabbeinu Chananel and Rabbeinu Yitzchak; Rashba ibid; Sheilasos 56; Bahag Kibbud Av Vaeim; Rash Peiah 1:1; Maharam Merothenberg 541; Rashba 2:66; Taz 240:6 [and that so is the opinion also of Michaber ibid as so he explains in his commentary Beis Yosef on the Tur and hence in his opinion there is no argument between the Michaber and Rama]; Shach 240:6 that so agrees Michaber and Rama; See Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:18 and Miluim Os Beis for a lits of ; Poskim in Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 318 and 344-345, 360

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the son is obligated to support his parents due to his obligation of Kibbud Av Vaeim and not due to his charity obligations. [Understanding of Michaber ibid, as implied from Rama ibid, as learns Taz ibid and Shach ibid; Darkei Moshe 240:3 in understanding of Tur 240; Bach 240 that so is opinion of Semag Asei 212-213 and Semak 7 [50]; Sefer HaYashar Chidushim 141; Meiri Kiddushin ibid; Chinuch Mitzvah 33; Radbaz 2:633;  Aruch Hashulchan 240:20 in opinion of Michaber ibid; Poskim brought in Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnotes 328, 329, 332 and Pesakim Uteshuvos Miluim ibid] Accordingly, some Poskim rule that the son is obligated to support his parents even if he cannot afford to support himself and is hence exempt from charity and will be forced to go begging for money in order to support his parents. [Rashbi in Yerushalmi Kiddushin 1:7, brought in Tosafus Kiddushin 32a and many Rishonim and Poskim brought in Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 329 and 332 and 336 that is Rabbinical and 337] Other Poskim rule that although the son is not obligated to support his parents to a degree that will force him to go begging for his own money, nonetheless, he is obligated to support them even in excess of his charity obligations, and even if it means that he will need to limit his expenses and live a much more budgeted life. [Understanding of Michaber ibid, as implied from Rama ibid, as learns Taz ibid and Shach ibid; Darkei Moshe 240:3 in understanding of Tur 240; Bach 240 that so is opinion of Semag Asei 212-213 and Semak 50; Aruch Hashulchan 240:20 in opinion of Michaber ibid] However, other Poskim rule that in truth there is no dispute in this matter between the Michaber and Rama, and everyone agrees that the child is only required to support his parents commensurate to his charity obligations, and hence the wording of the Rama ibid. [Taz ibid] However, in truth, the Rama in Darkei Moshe explains that the Lashon of the Tur/Michaber imply that the child is obligated to support his parents even past his charity obligations, and thus the Rama clarifies that he rules otherwise. [Shach 240:6] Thus, the puzzlement is on the Taz ibid who questions the wording of the Rama ibid, and seemingly the Taz ibid forgot what the Rama himself wrote in the Darkei Moshe ibid. [Shach in Nekudos Hakesef on Taz ibid] In any event, in conclusion, both the Michaber/Rama agree that one is only obligated to support the parents from his charity funds. Furthermore, even according to the other opinion, one cannot force the child support his parents pass his charity obligations. [Poskim brought in Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 334]

[7] Chazon Ish Y.D. 149:2; See Michaber 249:1; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 362

[8] Sheilasos ibid; Bahag ibid; Pesakim Uteshuvos ibid; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 347

[9] See Radbaz 2:663 “Although we take from the son under the category of charity, nonetheless it doesn’t follow the same laws of charity as by other paupers, but rather is all according to the affordability of the son and as to the ways of the world support one’s parents”; 8:166; Darkei Moshe 240 and Chasam Sofer Y.D. 229 in opinion of Tur; Amudei Arazim Mareches Nun Vav-4; Shevet Halevi 2:111-3; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 3:286; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 363-366

[10] Supporting according to parents’ lifestyle or according to what he needs to live: See Michaber 250:1 that one is required to support the pauper in accordance to his living standards, and hence if he was used to high living standards then he is to be supported according to those standards. Now, although this applies to the community fund and not to the individual who is not individually required to personally support a pauper according to his living standards [See Rama 250:1] nonetheless, some Poskim conclude that a son is obligated to do so on behalf of this parent. [Radbaz 2:663; Chasam Sofer Y.D. 229; Aruch Hashulchan 240:20] However, other authorities disagree and rule that the son is not obligated to support his parents pass their minimum needs even if he can afford it. [Divrei Shalom Viemes Y.D. 10] See Pesakim Uteshuvos 240 footnote 152

[11] Rashba 4:56 and 7:451; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 335

[12] Poskim in Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 298 and 368