The mourning customs of the nine days

The mourning customs of the nine days

*Important Note:

This section will only list the mourning customs that become applicable during the nine days. All customs that apply throughout the entire three-week period were listed in the previous chapter. See there for further reference!

1. Diminishing in rejoicing:

• At the entrance of the month of Menachem Av one diminishes in joy. One is thus not to rejoice at all.  [Some however learn that one is merely to diminish in joy and does not have to end all joy completely.]
• Matters of frivolity: One is to be especially careful during these days not to have conversations of frivolity and lightheartedness.
• Jewelry and makeup: Some Poskim write women are to diminish in makeup and jewelry during the nine days.

2. Delaying a court case with a gentile:

• One who has a court case against a gentile during this time is to find ways to delay it, as during this time a Jews Mazal is weak.

3. Masa Umatan-Business, buying and selling:

• It is permitted to buy and sell all simple and necessary items as usual during the nine days. One is not to buy and sell expensive items that are not necessities, but rather a luxury, unless it is a case of possible financial loss.

4. Music:

• During the nine days, it is forbidden to play music even for livelihood/Parnasa purposes, even for the sake of gentiles.

5. Building:

• During the nine days, one is to diminish in building for pleasure or beauty purposes, such as building a wedding home for his son, or a beautiful architectural structure or beautiful tents. One may however fix a wall which is leaning to fall. One may likewise build for the sake of a Mitzvah, such as building or renovating a Shul. [Likewise, one may build for the sake of the public.  One may build for the sake of doing business, such as to sell or rent the property.]
• Gentile workers: One may not hire gentile workers to build a building for pleasure or beauty purposes during the nine days. However, if the gentile was contracted [before Rosh Chodesh] to be paid for the job [as opposed to an hourly rate], then if the gentile can choose to work during the nine days, without protest from the Jew. Nonetheless, if the Jew appeases the gentile with extra payment to push off the work, then he is blessed. [Furthermore, initially one is to stipulate with the gentile that he will not work during the nine days.]  

6. Planting:

• During the nine days, one is not allowed to plant gardens for pleasure purposes, such as the trees of kings which are planted for shade, or different species of myrtle.

7. Kiddush Levana:

• The custom is not to recite Kiddush Levana until after Tisha B’av. [It is rather to be recited on Motzei Tisha B’av, as will be explained in Chapter 4 Halacha 17.]

8. Eating meat and poultry:

• The custom is not to eat meat or poultry throughout the nine days [beginning from Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av, including Rosh Chodesh]. It is forbidden to eat meat or poultry due to this custom.  One who breaks this custom and eats meat falls into the category of “Poretz Geder Yenashchenu Nachash.”
• Shechita: The custom is to avoid slaughtering animals or poultry from Rosh Chodesh until after Tisha B’av [the 10th of Av]. It is however permitted to slaughter for the sake of a Mitzvah such as for an ill person who needs meat, or for Seudas Shabbos or a Bris Mila, as will be explained.
• Does the prohibition begin from sunset or Tzeis of Rosh Chodesh? Some are accustomed to abstaining from eating meat and poultry starting from after sunset of Rosh Chodesh. Others are accustomed only from nightfall [Tzeis]. See Introduction for the full details of this matter!
• Eating a dish which contains meat or poultry: It is forbidden to eat a food which contains meat or poultry amongst its ingredients. If meat or poultry fell into a food, the food may be eaten if it contains sixty times the meat.  Alternatively, one may taste the pot to verify if it has a taste of meat. If one sees that it does not have a taste of meat, it is permitted to be eaten. 
• Cooking food in a meat pot: Pareve foods may be cooked in a meat pot [even if the pot was used for meat in the past 24 hours].
• Shabbos: It is permitted [and is a Mitzvah] to eat meat on Shabbos. If the third meal continues past the conclusion of Shabbos, it remains permitted to eat meat and drink wine until one recites Birchas Hamazon, even if the congregation already Davened Maariv. Some Poskim however rule it is forbidden to eat meat past nightfall if the congregation already Davened Maariv.
• Children: A child that is below the age of Chinuch may eat meat, poultry, and wine during the nine days. A child that is above the age of Chinuch may not eat meat or drink wine during the nine days.  The age of Chinuch in this regard is a child that has reached the age of understanding the mourning period [which is not before age 9].  Some Poskim however rule one should be stringent if the child has reached the general age of Chinuch of all Mitzvos [which is approximately from age six]. [Practically, the custom of many is to be stringent in this matter.] One may be lenient to give children [below Bar and Bas Mitzvah] to eat meat on Erev Shabbos after midday.  [Some Poskim however limit this ruling only to those areas in which Shabbos begins late and one desires to feed the children before Shabbos.]
• One who is sick: One who is sick may eat meat.  [This applies even if his illness is not dangerous, and even if he is only slightly sick. One is not required to do Hataras Nedarim to eat meat in case of illness.  This allowance applies even on the week of Tisha B’av, and even past the 7th of Menachem Av.]
• Nursing women: Those women that need to eat meat in order to have milk for their child, may be lenient to do so. This applies even to animal meat. Likewise, if a nursing woman feels weak or sick she may be lenient to eat meat.  [However, this only applies if other foods cannot supplement the benefits received in eating meat.] Nevertheless, the custom is to be stringent beginning from the 7th of Av unless she feels a strong need for it.  Practically, this matter of nursing women eating meat during the nine days is to be given to the discretion of a Rav in order so people don’t come to belittle the matter.
• Pregnant women: If a pregnant woman feels weak or sick she may be lenient to eat meat. [However, this only applies if other foods cannot supplement the benefits received in eating meat.] Nevertheless, the custom is to be stringent beginning from the 7th of Av, unless she feels a strong need for it.  Practically, this matter of pregnant women eating meat during the nine days is to be given to the discretion of a Rav in order so people don’t come to belittle the matter.
• After birth: A woman after birth is permitted to eat meat during the nine days. [This applies for all women within 30 days of giving birth.] Nevertheless, the women are accustomed to stop eating meat starting from the 7th of Av [unless they feel a strong need to eat it].
• One who cannot eat milk products: One who cannot eat milk products may eat chicken [or a dish which contained meat.] [This applies even if he is not sick.]
• One may eat meat and drink wine during a Seudas Mitzvah which is taking place during the nine days, such as a Bris Mila, Pidyon Haben, Siyum Miseches, [or a Bar Mitzvah]. However, only those who are coming to the meal out of respect for the Baal Hasimcha, or other similar reason, are allowed to eat. However, those joining simply to be allowed to eat meat and drink wine are forbidden to eat meat and wine.
• The week of Tisha B’av: Within the week of the Tisha B’av, only ten people, [in addition to relatives], are to eat meat or drink wine during the meal.
• Erev Tisha B’av: The above allowance to eat meat and drink wine during a Seudas Mitzvah applies even on Erev Tisha B’av, with exception to the Seudas Hamafsekes. [When having the meal on Erev Tisha B’av, it is proper to eat it in the morning.]
• Kos Shel Bracha: One may say Birchas Hamazon over wine [i.e. Kos Shel Bracha] by a Seudas Mitzvah.

9. Drinking wine:

• One may not drink wine throughout the nine days.
• Does the prohibition begin from sunset or Tzeis of Rosh Chodesh? Some are accustomed to avoid drinking wine starting from after sunset of Rosh Chodesh. Others are accustomed only from nightfall [Tzeis]. See Introduction for the full details of this matter!
• Adding wine into the ingredients of a food: It is forbidden to eat a food which contains wine within its ingredients. If wine fell into a food the food may be eaten if it contains sixty times the wine.  Alternatively, one may taste the pot to verify if it has a taste of wine. If one sees that it does not have a taste of wine it is permitted. 
• Beer and other beverages: It is permitted to drink any beer [and any alcoholic beverage other than wine ] during the nine days. It is permitted to drink vinegar made from wine.
• Children: A child that has not reached the age of Chinuch may drink wine during the nine days as explained in the previous Halacha B regarding meat. See there for all the details of this matter!
• Shabbos: One may drink wine on Shabbos without limitation. If the third meal continues past the conclusion of Shabbos, it remains permitted to eat meat and drink wine until one recites Birchas Hamazon, even if the congregation already Davened Maariv.  Some Poskim however rule it is forbidden to drink wine past nightfall if the congregation already Davened Maariv.
• Seudas Mitzvah: One may drink wine by a Seudas Mitzvah, as explained in Halacha 8C.
• Kos Shel Bracha: One does not say Birchas Hamazon over wine during the nine days.
• Havdalah: When saying Havdala during the nine days [Motzei Shabbos Chazon] one is to give the wine to drink to a child [whether male or female , although some rule only male ] who has reached the age of Chinuch [of blessings although some say also Chinuch of Havdala] but has not yet reached the age of Chinuch for mourning.  If such a child is not, he may drink the [entire] Havdalah wine himself as usual. 

10. Laundering clothing:

• It is forbidden to launder clothing from the start of Rosh Chodesh Av until the week of Tisha B’av, unless one has run out of clean clothing that are changed daily, or one is washing the clothing of a gentile, or a child, or for the sake of a Mitzvah.
• During the week of Tisha B’av, it is forbidden to launder any clothing, even if one has run out of clothing, even if it is the clothing of a child or a gentile, unless the clothing is of a child who is below the age of Chinuch, or is needed for the sake of a Mitzvah.

11. Wearing freshly laundered clothing:

• It is forbidden to wear freshly laundered clothing during the nine days [even if they were laundered prior to the nine days]. [The above prohibition only applies to one who changes for pleasure purposes, although it is permitted to change into fresh clothing if one’s clothing is dirty or smelly. Thus, those clothing that become overly dirty and sweaty, such as all undergarments and towels, may be worn even if they are freshly laundered from before the nine days.  Furthermore, those who are accustomed to change their shirts constantly due to being overly sensitive to sweat, may do so even during the nine days, even if the shirt is freshly laundered from beforehand. However, one may not change his pants or jacket to a fresh pair, unless the pair is unwearable. Furthermore, the meticulous are particular to not change any of their clothing throughout the week, not even their undergarments.] All clothing which are permitted to be laundered during the nine days, as explained in Halacha 8, are likewise permitted to be worn in their freshly laundered state.
• The clothing included in the prohibition: The above prohibition applies to any cloth, even if it is not worn on the body, such as towels, tablecloth, or linens for a bed.
• Ironed clothing: It is forbidden to wear freshly ironed clothing. All clothing that have been ironed, pressed, or dry cleaned in a way that is recognizable even after wearing it one time, may not be worn so long as the ironing effects remain.
• For the sake of Shabbos: It is permitted to wear freshly laundered linen clothing in honor of Shabbos, and it is permitted to use white [tablecloths] like any other Shabbos.

12. Wearing Shabbos clothing on Shabbos and by a Bris:

• Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to wear Shabbos clothing on Shabbos Chazon, with exception to wearing a Kesones [Shabbos undershirt] which is allowed, [and so was the old custom of Ashkenaz]. Other Poskim however rule that on Shabbos of the nine days, including Shabbos Chazon, one is to wear his regular Shabbos clothing [and so is the Sephardic custom]. [Practically, the widespread custom today amongst all Jewry [Sephardim Chassidim, as well as almost all communities of Ashkenazi Jewry] is to wear all one’s regular Shabbos clothing on Shabbos Chazon.]
• Tablecloths and bed sheets: One may also use fresh white tablecloths in honor of Shabbos. However, new sheets may not be spread on one’s bed. 
• Paroches: The Paroches for Shabbos is placed in Shul as usual. This is with exception to when Tisha B’av coincides with Shabbos and is differed to Sunday, in which case the Shabbos Paroches is not placed.  [However, the widespread custom is to place the Shabbos Paroches even at this time.]
• Shabbos clothing during a Bris: When a Bris is taking place during the nine days it is accustomed that the father [and mother] of the child, the Mohel and the Sandek [and grandparents] to wear Shabbos clothing. [Furthermore, the custom is for also other close relatives to wear Shabbos clothing.]

13. Buying and wearing new clothing:

• Buying clothing during the nine days: It is forbidden to buy clothing during the nine days. [This applies even to used clothing.] This prohibition applies even against buying shoes [and undergarments, such as socks, undershirts and underwear].  [This applies even if one does not plan to wear the clothing until after Tisha B’av.]
• Wearing new clothing: It is forbidden to wear new clothing, whether white or colored, whether of wool or linen, during the nine days. This prohibition applies even on Shabbos. This prohibition applies even against wearing new shoes [and non-important garments, such as undergarments, socks, undershirts and underwear]. [From Rosh Chodesh Av until the week of Tisha B’av this matter is forbidden due to stringency, while during the week of Tisha B’av it is forbidden from the letter of the law.]

14. Making and mending clothing:

• It is forbidden to make new clothing or new shoes during the nine days. [This applies even to socks.] The women are likewise accustomed not to weave the warp during the nine days. It is permitted to weave strings during the nine days.  It is likewise permitted to weave items that are not clothing.
• A tailor making for others: It is forbidden for a Jewish tailor to make this item even on behalf of another person [which is a Jew]. This applies whether he is doing so in exchange for payment, of for free. This applies even if one intends to sell the garment in the market place.  However, the custom is to be lenient in this [and make new clothing even for a Jew].  This, however, is only allowed if the material was already given to the tailor before Rosh Chodesh, however to give him the material after Rosh Chodesh is obviously forbidden.] Furthermore, some Poskim are only permit one to be lenient until the week of Tisha B’av.] It is permitted however for a Jew to make the item on behalf of a gentile, if it is well known that the work is being done on his behalf.  [It is permitted to do so even if the Jew receives the material after Rosh Chodesh.] It is likewise customarily permitted for a Jew to give material to a non-Jew to make for him a new garment, so it be ready after Tisha B’av. [This applies even during the weeks of Tisha B’av. However, some Poskim are stringent to only allow it up until the week of Tisha B’av.] Nonetheless, it is best to diminish in this matter when possible. 
• Mending and fixing Clothing: It is forbidden to remodel even old clothing beginning from Rosh Chodesh Av, throughout the nine days. However, it is permitted to sew a loose stitch, or sew a tear of a clothing, [or resew a button] throughout the nine days, even in the week of Tisha B’av. It is likewise permitted to sew a patch onto clothing during this time.  [This may be done even professionally and with the use of sewing machines.]

15. Bathing:

• It is forbidden to bathe [or shower] during the nine days, even with cold water, with exception to one who needs to shower for medical reasons or for reasons of cleanliness, or for the sake of a Mitzvah.

16. Cutting nails:

• One may not cut nails during the week of Tisha B’av. One may cut nails during the three weeks, up until the week of Tisha B’av.
• Erev Shabbos: If Tisha B’av falls on Shabbos one may cut his nails in honor of Shabbos. [However, some Poskim rule one may only do so if he is accustomed to cut his nails on every Erev Shabbos. If, however Tisha B’av falls on Sunday, one may cut his nails on Erev Shabbos even if he does not do so weekly.]
• Need of a Mitzvah: It is permitted to cut nails for the need of a Mitzvah, such as for Tevila.