The Mitzvah of a Chasan to rejoice with the Kallah after the wedding

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Simcha-Rejoicing the Kallah:[1]

A. The obligation of Simcha:

The laws of Simcha refer to the obligation of the Chasan to rejoice his wife after the marriage takes place. This Mitzvah of rejoicing one’s wife includes spending time with her in festive meals, and not doing Melacha or going to one’s job or business throughout the Simcha period in order so he is free to spend time with her and rejoice her. The amount of time in which the husband is obligated in these laws of Simcha differs between a Besula and Beula. The time period of Simcha is not connected to the time period of Sheva Brachos, and hence depending on whether the Kallah is a Besula or Beula will effect whether the obligation of Simcha extends for all seven days of Sheva Brachos [i.e. marries Besula], or ends after three days into the seven days of Sheva Brachos [i.e. Bachur who marries Beula according to one opinion], or ends after three days from the marriage even though the Sheva Brachos only takes place on the first day by the first meal [i.e. Widower marries Beula]

 

B. How long is the couple to rejoice?

Besula:[2] If one married a Besuala he [i.e. the Chasan] is obligated to rejoice with her for seven days [of Sheva Brachos after the wedding]. This applies whether the Chasan was never married before or is a widower [or was divorced]

Beula:[3] If the Kallah is a Beula the Chasan is obligated to rejoice with her for three days [after the wedding]. This applies whether the Chasan was never married before [and therefore recites Sheva Brachos for seven days[4]] or is a widower [or was divorced, and therefore recites Sheva Brachos for only the first meal[5]].[6] However some Poskim[7] rule that a Chasan who was never married beforehand is to rejoice with his Kallah for seven days [after the wedding] even if she is a Beula, [and only in a case that he was previously married is he to rejoice with her for only three days].[8] [Practically, one is to be stringent to rejoice for seven days.[9]]

Summary:
If the Kallah is a Besula the Chasan is obligated to rejoice with her for seven days after the wedding even if he was previously married. If the Kallah is a Beula and the Chasan was previously married he is obligated to rejoice with her for three days after the wedding. If the Kallah is a Beula and the Chasan was never previously married he is to be stringent to rejoice with her for seven days after the wedding.

Q&A

If the Kallah is a Beula but was never previously married and the Chasan was previously married how long must the Chasan rejoice her for?[10]
So long as the Kallah is a Beula, irrelevant of whether this occurred in wedlock or out of wedlock or even due to rape, the Chasan is only obligated to rejoice with her for three days if he was previously married.

 

If the Chasan and Kallah had relations prior to the wedding, for how many days is Sheva Brachos recited?
There are three opinions mentioned in this regard: Some Poskim[11] rule they are to keep only three days of Simcha even if neither were previously married.[12] Other Poskim[13] rule that if she was a Besula when she had relations with her Chasan and did not have relations with anyone else then they are to keep seven days of Simcha even if the man was previously married. Other Poskim[14] rule that if he was previously married then they only keep three days of Simcha, even if she was a Besula when she had relations with her Chasan and did not have relations with anyone else. If however he was not previously married, then they are to keep seven days of Simcha even if she was previously married, and he had relations with her before the wedding.

 

Is a woman who lost her Besulim due to an injury considered a Besula or Beula in the above regard?[15]
She is considered like a Besula.

 

If the Kallah was previously married but is still a Besula and the Chasan was previously married how long must the Chasan rejoice her for?[16]
If the Kallah is a Besula, irrelevant of whether she was never married or was previously married and widowed [or divorced] prior to having relations with her husband, the Chasan is obligated to rejoice with her for seven days, even if the Chasan was previously married.

 

If one remarried his divorcee how long must the Chasan rejoice her for?
If one remarried his divorcee, some Poskim[17]  rule that he is not obligated to rejoice her at all, not even for three days. Other Poskim[18][19] rule that the Chasan is to rejoice with her for three days.
  Sheva Brachos Simcha
Besula Seven days Seven days
Beula with previously married Chasan First meal on first day Three days
Beula with non-previously married Chasan Seven days Dispute-stringent seven days

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[1] Michaber 62/2 and 64/1-2

[2] Michaber 62/2 and 64/1; Kesubos 7b

[3] Michaber 62/2 and 64/2; Kesubos 7b

[4] Michaber 62/6; Chelkas Mechokeik 64/1

[5] Michaber 62/6

[6] The reason: As the reciting of Sheva Brachos is not connected to the Mitzvah of Simcha, and thus although Sheva Brachos may be said for seven days, the obligation of Simcha is only for three days. The reason for this difference is as follows: The Sheva Brachos was instituted on behalf of the joy the Chasan or Kallah feel in their heart, and thus so long as one of the couple were not yet previously married they experience this joy which allows Sheva Brachos to be recited. Certainly one who was previously married who now marries a Besula experiences joy over the fact he was able to marry a Besula. However the Mitzvah of Simcha, which includes festive meals and not doing Melacha, was instituted simply for the benefit of the Kallah, and the Sages established that a Besulah is to receive seven days while a Beula is to receive three days. The reason for this differentiation is because a Besula requires seven days of Simcha to be seduced to her new husband while a Beula only requires three days of Simcha to be seduced. Thus even a Bachur who marries a Besula is only obligated in Simcha for three days even though the actual Sheva Brachos is said for seven days. [Chelkas Mechokek 64/1; Beis Shmuel 64/1 in name of Ran]

[7] Ran Kesubos ibid; Rashba

[8] The reason: As whena  Bachur marries a Beula they are to keep seven days of Sheva Brachos, and it is not logical to allow him to do work and continue life as normal after three days but continue to say Sheva Brachos for seven days out of expression of his Simcha. Rather just as Sheva Brachos is said for seven days by a Bachur so too the Mitzvah of Simcha applies for the seven days. [Chelkas Mechokek 64/4 in name of Ran]

[9] Ran ibid writes that so is the custom; Nitei Gavriel 55/11 in name of Chasam Sofer E.H. 123 and Nesivos Hashalom Nesiv 19/3 that the main opinion is like the Ran; Kitzur SHU”A 149/12 records the stringent opinion and Misgeres Hashulchan 149/7 writes to be stringent unless she is Mochel. See however Chochmas Adam 129/11 that does not arbitrate this dispute.

[10] Shemesh Tzedaka 5/40 in name of Ginas Veradim 1/17, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 62/9; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 110/8 footnote 17

[11] Noda Beyehuda Tinyana 61, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 62/9; Gloss on Shemesh Tzedaka 5/40 that so is implied fropm Teshuvah Devar Shmuel

[12] The reason: As they have already tasted the taste of relations and hence do not have as much Simcha to justify seven days of blessings. [ibid]

[13] Shemesh Tzedaka 5/40 in name of Ginas Veradim 1/17, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 62/9

[14] Chasam Sofer 123, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 62/9

[15] Shemesh Tzedaka 5/40 in name of Ginas Veradim 1/17, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 62/9; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 110/10 footnote 19

[16] Chelkas Mechokek 64/3; Beis Shmuel 64/3 in name of Bach 64; Chida in Shiyurei Bracha 64/3 and Chaim Sheol 2/38-58; Chasam Sofer 123, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 62/9

[17] Radbaz 7/64 [863]; Mahrikash 63; Rav Akiva Eiger 62/1; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 110/6 footnote 21

[18] Nitei Gavriel 55/11 in name of Poskim; See Chida in Shiyurei Bracha62/1; Chaim Sheol 2/38-56; Yifei Lalev 62/16; Nehar Mitzrayim; Kitzur SHU”A 149/8

[19] Chida in Shiyurei Bracha62/1; Chaim Sheol 2/38-56; Yifei Lalev 62/16; Nehar Mitzrayim; Kitzur SHU”A 149/8; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 110/11 footnote 20

About The Author

Rabbi Yaakov Goldstein is a 6th generation descendent of the famous Chief Rabbi of Izhmir, Rav Yehoshua Avraham Krispin, who authored a number of Sefarim, and was a colleague of Rav Chaim Falagi, and father in-law of the Pesach Hadvir. He currently lives with his wife Shayna, and twelve children K”H, in Tzfas, Israel. Rabbi Goldstein received Semicha from Rabbi Schneur Zalman Labkowski of the Tomchei Temimim headquarters in 2005 and served as a chaplain in the Lotar/Kalatz and K9 unit of the IDF from years 2005-2008. He is also a certified Shochet, and has performed Hashgacha work in slaughterhouses. Rabbi Goldstein is the director of Shulchanaruchharav.com, the world’s leading web-based Halacha database, and is the director of the Home Study Semicha Program, a self-study web-based Semicha program. He is a prolific author of over 50 Sefarim studied by a wide range of readers throughout the world, which is used regularly in Semicha programs around the globe. He is a world renowned Posek, answering questions to a web-based market, and serves as a local Posek, Rav, and Lecturer, in the Tzemach Tzedek community Shul in Tzefas, Israel. His many classes can be heard both from his website, Vimeo and YouTube channel. Students can join live to classes given in the Tzemach Tzedek Shul, through the “בית חבד צפת Chabad Tsfat” YouTube channel.

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