The importance of Hakaras Hatov and the Rebbe’s actions of gratitude for his wife, The Rebbetzin

The Rebbe on Gratitude:[1]

One is obligated to show gratitude to every living being that caused him good, even to animals, vegetation, and even to the inanimate.[2] The Rebbe was very careful in showing gratitude to anyone who did him a favor. Hundreds of letters contain the word thanks to individuals who fulfilled tasks that the Rebbe entrusted them with, or who had done things of the Rebbe’s wishes. To people who had helped the Rebbe or his parents, throughout his life he showed that he was indebted to them. The Rebbe wrote a most gracious letter to his wife’s doctor who had treated her in their home in 1983. The letter speaks for itself, and can teach us a great lesson regarding showing gratitude to others, including those who provided us with a paid service:[3]

“At the outset, on behalf of Mrs. Schneerson as well as on my own behalf, I wish to convey our sincere appreciation for your kind and considerate care in connection to the recent incident that occurred with Mrs. Schneerson. [Thank you] for your immediate response and home visitation at an inconvenient hour, etc., [and] all this in addition to your having provided her with your expert and skilled treatment and care. I hope and pray that G-d, “Healer of all flesh and Performer of wonders,” will bless you with success regarding all your patients, including this present one. I had occasion to hear a thought from my father-in-law, may the memory of a tzaddik be for a blessing — a thought that has its place in our Torah, which is called the Torah of Life (as it serves as our guide and source of life) — that in order to assure the success of the medical treatment, the remuneration for the doctor’s services are to be in keeping with the medical stature of the treating physician. In point of fact, this principle applies to all professions and services, including communal services. It need not be said that my father-in-law put this into practice and I wish to do the same. I therefore am taking the liberty to enclose my check, although I am not sure whether this is the appropriate payment. I am sure, however, that if this sum does not suffice, you will see to it that your secretary contacts my secretary so that I will be able to rectify the matter. Together with the payment comes the traditional Jewish blessing, “Use it in good health.” One of the primary reasons for the above principle is the fact that the Torah is aware that a doctor or someone with another occupation has fiscal responsibilities to his family and community, etc., responsibilities that he can adequately take care of only if his services are adequately paid for. Therefore, if the receiver of the services does not satisfactorily reimburse the provider of the service, a thought might arise in the doctor’s mind (fleeting as it might be) that it would be acceptable for him next time to delay treating this individual in favor of an individual who pays what is expected of him. Consequently, the Torah strives to remove even the possibility of such a thought. Thus, whatever occupation Providence had in mind for an individual to carry out for the benefit of others, this will always be done with total dedication and devotion. Once again, my great thanks. With respect and personal regards. P.S. After this letter was written, your official bill was received. Enclosed please find a check. However, as I emphasized, this is a formal payment while my letter and the [other] attached payment are on a personal basis, as a much deeper and more personal gesture than that of the formal relationship between doctor and patient.”

Maaseh Shehaya:[4]

The Rebbetzin passed away in 1988 and her house workers were no longer needed. That same day the Rebbe directed that the workers be told that their job is terminated and that they be given their salary in full together with severance pay. The Rebbe assured that the workers be paid in full prior to the funeral, and that doing so would be a merit for her soul.

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[1] See Hiskashrus 526 p. 11; Likkutei Sichos 14:264; Igros Kodesh 26:460

[2] See Ramban on Ki Seitzei 23:4-8 “They were obligated to do a favor for the Jewish people and instead they paid the Jewish people back with evil”; All sources brought below regarding showing gratitude from which it is evident that is an obligation. So is evident from the fact that Moshe refused a command from God on this basis.

Sources: Scripture: Shemos 7:19; 8:12; Yisro 20:2; Mishpatim 22:30; Ki Seitzei 23:4-8; Mishleiy 17; Yechezkal 29:20 Talmud: Brachos 46a; 58a; Bava Kama 92b; Bechoros 5b; Avoda Zara 5a; Pesachim 118b; Yevamos 63a; Sanhedrin 94a; Yerushalmi Brachos 9; Yerushalmi Peiah 1:1 and Kiddushin 1:7; Midrash: Shemos Raba 4:2; 20:1; Tanchuma Shemos 5; Midrash Tanchuma Vaera 14; Tana Dvei Eliyahu Raba 18; Yalkut Shimoni Bamidbar 31; Rishonim: Chinuch Mitzvah 33; Chinuch 482; Rashba Gittin 38b; Shita Mekibetzes Bava Kama 92b; Ramban on  Ki Seitzei 23:4-8; Ramban Bereishis 39:12; Rabbeinu Bechayeh Shemos 1:8; Rashi and Even Ezra and Ramban on Yisro 20:2; Chovos Halevavos Shaar Avodas Haelokim 6; Sifrei Mussar and Derush: Shelah Shaar Haosiyos p. 65 in name of Bereishis Raba; Toras Moshe Parshas Beshalach; Kesav Sofer Beshalach; Michtav Meieliyahu 3 Darkei Havoda Chesed Vehakaras Hatov; Sheim Derech Devarim Mamarim Mamar 10; Sichos Mussar 5732 Mamar 32 of Rav Chaim Shmulevitz; Beis Rebbe chapter 32; Sefer Hatoldos Alter Rebbe 3:708; Rebbe: Toras Menachem 48:424; Likkutei Sichos 21:45 and 36:33; See also Likkutei Sichos Vol. 8 Sicha 1; Likkutei Sichos 14:264; Likkutei Sichos 19:153; Igros Kodesh 26:460; Hiskashrus 526 p. 11; Kefar Chabad 1041 p. 73; Other: Har Tzevi on Tur C.M. 7; Shiureiy Torah Lerofim 1:35; 63; 2:89; 134; Piskeiy Teshuvos 156-8 p. 328; Minchas Yitzchak 6:167; Tzitz Eliezer 7:48-10

[3] See Kefar Chabad 1041 p. 73; Hiskashrus ibid

[4] Yoman 1988, brought in Shulchan Menachem ibid