Supporting one’s Parents-Dividing the obligation of support between the children

Supporting one’s Parents-Dividing the obligation of support between the children:[1]

Although there is no obligation upon the son to pay for his parents food or clothing, if the parents cannot afford to support themselves, then the child must give them their needs.[2] The following law relates to how this monetary obligation of support is to be divided amongst the various children.

If there are many sons [or sons in laws[3]], then the sons [and sons in laws] are collectively responsible for supporting their parent, each one in accordance to the amount that he can afford. Thus, if some of the sons [or sons in laws] are rich and some are poor [to the point that if they were to give money on behalf of their parents they themselves would need to collect money from others on behalf of themselves[4]], then only the rich sons [and sons in laws] are obligated in supporting their parents. [If one of the sons ended up giving more than he is obligated to give, and has ability to prove it, then he may demand to be reimbursed from the inheritance money that the brothers will eventual receive from the parents.[5]]

Sons in laws giving if sons can afford: Regarding if the son-in-law’s must help support their parents-in-law, if the sons can afford to do so themselves, some Poskim[6] imply that it is not required. However, other Poskim[7] rule that they are required to help support their parents-in-law even if the sons can afford it, although are not required to give as much as the sons. If the son-in-law is rich and can afford to support his parents-in-law and there are no sons or the sons cannot afford to do so, then he is required to fully support them.[8]

[1] Rama Y.D. 240:5; Hagahos Maimanis; Beis Yosef; Shut Maharam 541; Hagahos Ashri Kiddushin 1:50; Shut Maharil Chadashos 107; Poskim in Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 369-371

[2] Michaber Y.D. 240:5; 251:3-4

[3] See Michaber 251:3; Chavos Yair 134; Aruch Hashulchan 240:38; Pischeiy Teshuvah 251:2 in name of Maharam Ziskind 19 in name of Mahram Mintz 7; Avnei Zikaron p. 304; However, see Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 424 footnote 710 in name of Menoras Hamaor Alankava 4:16 that she is exempt from supporting her parents if they are poor; See next regarding if the sons can afford to support their parents on their own

The reason: As his parents-in-law are no different than any other relative, as well as that he is obligated in his father in-law’s honor. [Aruch Hashulchan ibid]

[4] Shut Maharam 541; Hagahos Ashri Kiddushin 1:50; Shut Maharil Chadashos 107

[5] Chavos Yair 134; Aruch Hashulchan 240:18

[6] Aruch Hashulchan ibid “and he also has no sons who can support him”

[7] Chavos Yair ibid; Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:21 based on and Avnei Zikaron p. 304 in name of Rav Elyashiv says that the sons are to give up to 20% of their earnings while the son-in-law is to give only up to 10%.

[8] Aruch Hashulchan ibid