Privacy when relieving oneself in a bathroom – Being alone

Privacy when relieving oneself in a bathroom – Being alone:[1]

Two people are not to enter into the bathroom together [as doing so is not modest[2]]. Rather one should enter the bathroom alone. [This applies even between husband and wife.[3]]

One who is scared to be alone:[4] If one is afraid to remain alone in the bathroom [he is nevertheless not to allow another person to enter the bathroom] and is rather to have a person place their hand over his head through a window. One is however not to speak to this person, as will be explained.

Women:[5] It is permitted, and even encouraged, for women to enter a [non-gendered[6]] public bathroom together simultaneously.[7] [However by a private bathroom all the above laws apply equally to women.[8] Furthermore, it seems that by a public bathroom designated only for women, as is common standard in all public areas of the modern times, the requirement for privacy and prohibition of speech would apply.[9]]

^[1] Admur Kama 3:2; Basra 3:2; Rama 3:2; Or Zarua 1:137

^[2] Kama 3:2

[3] P”M 3 A”A 1; Brachos 62a

[4] Basra 3:2; Kama 3:2; M”A 3:1; Brachos 62a

^[5] Admur Basra 3:2l; M”A 3:2; Michaber Even Haezer 22:13; Sanhedrin 19a

Field bathrooms versus city bathrooms: Some Poskim do not differentiate between city and field bathrooms and imply the above ruling applies to all bathrooms. [See Michaber Even Haezer 22:13; Sanhedrin 19a] Other Poskim however limit this allowance only to field bathrooms, while by city bathrooms it would not apply. [Rama Y.D. ibid; M”A ibid] Admur clearly rules that it applies likewise to city bathrooms.  

[6] Commonly referred to as a unisex bathroom which can be used by both men and women. See next footnote.

[7] The reason: The Sages instituted that when women go to a public bathroom, such as the public field bathrooms of previous times or public Shul bathrooms, they should enter two at a time or even more, and that they should talk to each other there. The reason for this is in order so the men outside hear the women’s voices and thus not enter the bathroom and transgress the prohibition of Yichud. [Admur ibid; Michaber ibid; Sanhedrin ibid]

[8] See Kaf Hachaim 3:4 and 5 that women are not to enter together into the bathroom. This is unlike the Peri Megadim 3 A”A 2 who learns this restriction does not apply to women.

[9] The above Halacha [see background] implies that the bathrooms in discussion were not gender segregated and hence if not for the women talking, there was possibility of Yichud occurring. [To note that gender segregated bathrooms did not exist in previous times and is a relatively new occurrence. For example, in the capital building, Washington D.C., one can see that there only existed one bathroom as of 1900, and only later was a women’s bathroom also installed] Thus, today that most public bathrooms are gender segregated seemingly this allowance would no longer apply, as there is no reason a man would enter due to it being socially inacceptable. This is similar to the ruling of the Rama [Even Haezer 22:13] and M”A [3:2] that in city bathrooms this law no longer applies, and hence concludes the Rama that the law is no longer applicable today.

[10] Chesed Lealafim brought in Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeitzei 6; Kaf Hachaim 3:4

[11] See Admur Basra 3:5; Kama 3:19

[12] In Basra 3:2 Admur writes that if a person is scared one should place his hand on their head through a window, however he may not enter the bathroom. Seemingly there is no difference between a child and an adult as explained in the first Q&A, and hence when possible the child should be calmed in other methods. Nevertheless being that the fear of a child can be dangerous for him, [as brought in 328:15 that if a child is locked in a room one may break it down on Shabbos because he may get scared which can be dangerous] one may certainly be lenient when necessary to enter with the child in order to calm him.

[13] This does not pose a modesty prohibition as doing so is necessary. This is similar to the allowance to be undressed in a bathhouse due to lack of choice.