Married brothers and sisters living in the same city

Married brothers and sisters living in the same city:[1]

A. The warnings of Rebbe Yehuda Hachassid:

Four siblings: Rebbe Yehuda Hachassid[2] states that it is proper for four married brothers or four married sisters to not live in the same city in order so they live good and lengthy days, as it is rare to find four married brothers or four married sisters who live in the same city and all have lengthy lives. A hint for this can be found in the verse[3] “Ki Yeishvu Achim Yachdav, Umeis Echad Meihem.” [Both the words Achim and Yachdav, is written in plural hence hinting to this idea of four siblings.[4]]

Two or three siblings: In the Tzavaha, Rebbe Yehuda implies that even two brothers who are married are not to live together in the same city.[5] However, some Poskim[6] rule that the worry is specifically with four married brothers and sisters living in the same city and not with two or three. On the contrary, it is better for two siblings to live in the same city than for one to live there alone, and even better for there to be three siblings who live in the same city.[7] Other Poskim[8] rule that the worry applies even to three married couples who live in the same city, but not with two.

B. Cases of exception:

Nonpolitical leaders: Some Poskim[9] suggest that perhaps the entire warning above only applies to siblings who are political leaders in the same city, and is not a warning against regular siblings from living together in the same city. Practically, majority of the Poskim reject this approach.

City of upbringing: Some Poskim[10] rule that the above worry only applies when the couples come to live in a new city due to Ayin Hara, however, if they marry and remain in the city which they grew up in, then there is no worry involved, as everyone is already aware of their presence and accustomed to them.

If the parents live in the city: Some Poskim[11] rule that the worry only applies if the parents do not live in the same city as the siblings, however, if the parents also live in the city, then there is no issue involved. Eretz Yisrael: Some Poskim[12] rule that the worry does not apply to Eretz Yisrael.

Torah Scholars: Some Poskim[13] rule that the worry does not apply to Torah scholars.

C. The Rebbe’s directives:

The Rebbe stated that regarding matters such as these we apply the rule of “Man Delo Kapid Lo Kapdinan Bahdei/Whoever is not particular we are not particular with him.”[14] However, in at least two scenarios, the Rebbe gave a directive for married siblings to not live in the same building, although he did not require them to live in separate cities.[15]

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[1] See Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 211

[2] Sefer Chassidim 247; See Tzavah 33

[3] Devarim 25:5

[4] Pirush Kadmon on Sefer Chassidim ibid; Beris Olam of Chida on Sefer Chassidim ibid

[5] Tzavah Rebbe Yehuda Hachassid 38; Arugas Habosem Y.D. 118

[6] Shivim Temarim 38; Pirush Kadmon on Sefer Chassidim ibid; Beris Olam of Chida on Sefer Chassidim ibid; Melukat Miyalzu Chassidim 247:2; Arugas Habosem ibid; Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh ibid footnote 1-2

[7] Shivim Temarim ibid; Pirush Kadmon on Sefer Chassidim ibid as Chut Hameshulash Lo Yinatek

[8] Sheilas Shalom Tinyana 86; Darkei Teshuvah 116:47

[9] Makor Chesed on Tzavah ibid, based on Yerushalmi Peiah 8:6

[10] Sheilas Shalom Tinyana 86; Darkei Teshuvah 116:47

[11] Yad Efraim on Tzavah ibid; See Shulchan Chaiy 97:2

[12] Yad Efraim on Tzavah ibid

[13] Yifei Laleiv 3 Kuntrus Achron Y.D. 116:4

[14] See Igros Kodesh 14:399, printed in Shulchan Menachem 4 p. 29

[15] See Igros Kodesh 14:399; Shulchan Menachem 4 p. 29; p. 120; Koveitz Ubiurim Ohalei Torah 767 p. 34