Keeping a happy mood around an ill person

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Keeping a happy mood around an ill person-Not letting him know of the passing of a relative:[1]

If one is sick [or old], and there is worry that letting him know of the passing of a relative [or other individual], and breaking his heart, can lead to worsening of his condition, he is not to be told of the passing. People who are around him are not to show any signs of mourning; they are not to tear their shirts, cry, or eulogize in front of him.[2] They are not to comfort him, and those who do so are to be quieted. [This applies even if a parent of the sick person passed away, and even if he needs, and is able, to say Kaddish on their behalf.[3] Furthermore, one is not even to eulogize or cry regarding another person who passed away, even if it is not a relative of the sick person.[4] If however the person is not sick to the point that letting him know of the passing can lead him to danger, then he is to be told, and he is to follow the laws of Shiva. The Rebbe did not let his mother know of the passing of his brother during the Shiva, and kept it hidden from her for the rest of her life, for over 12 years.]

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[1] Michaber 337:1; Miseches Semachos

[2] Wearing Shabbos clothing: A mourner may even wear Shabbos clothing in front of the ill relative in order so the patient does not suspect that he is in mourning. [Chamudei Daniel, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 402:1]

[3] Beis Hilel 337

[4] Shach 337:2; Bach

About The Author

Rabbi Yaakov Goldstein is a 6th generation descendent of the famous Chief Rabbi of Izhmir, Rav Yehoshua Avraham Krispin, who authored a number of Sefarim, and was a colleague of Rav Chaim Falagi, and father in-law of the Pesach Hadvir. He currently lives with his wife Shayna, and twelve children K”H, in Tzfas, Israel. Rabbi Goldstein received Semicha from Rabbi Schneur Zalman Labkowski of the Tomchei Temimim headquarters in 2005 and served as a chaplain in the Lotar/Kalatz and K9 unit of the IDF from years 2005-2008. He is also a certified Shochet, and has performed Hashgacha work in slaughterhouses. Rabbi Goldstein is the director of Shulchanaruchharav.com, the world’s leading web-based Halacha database, and is the director of the Home Study Semicha Program, a self-study web-based Semicha program. He is a prolific author of over 50 Sefarim studied by a wide range of readers throughout the world, which is used regularly in Semicha programs around the globe. He is a world renowned Posek, answering questions to a web-based market, and serves as a local Posek, Rav, and Lecturer, in the Tzemach Tzedek community Shul in Tzefas, Israel. His many classes can be heard both from his website, Vimeo and YouTube channel. Students can join live to classes given in the Tzemach Tzedek Shul, through the “בית חבד צפת Chabad Tsfat” YouTube channel.

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