May a wife and children still perform Melacha after the father of the home accepts Shabbos early?[1]

A. Background on accepting Shabbos early:[2]

Accepting Shabbos early: Although Shabbos officially begins at the time of sunset[3], nonetheless it is possible, and a Biblical Mitzvah[4], for one to accept Shabbos prior to sunset, and so is the custom of Jewry worldwide to light candles and accept Shabbos at least 18 minutes prior to sunset, with some communities lighting candles as much as 40 minutes prior to sunset.

The ways of accepting Shabbos early: Now, in general, Shabbos cannot be considered accepted early by a person unless that person personally accepted Shabbos either in action [i.e. candle lighting], or through resolution [i.e. deciding in his mind[5], or verbalizing that he is now accepting Shabbos[6]], or through reciting the prayer of “Mizmor Shir Leyom Hashabbos” within Kabalas Shabbos.[7] Certainly, if he already Davened Shemoneh Esrei of Maariv of Shabbos he is considered to have fully accepted Shabbos.[8]

The effects of a wife accepting Shabbos and lighting candles early:[9] When a wife or mother lights Shabbos candles prior to sunset, at candle lighting time, Shabbos is only considered accepted by her, and not by any of her family members, children, or husband, as a wife’s early acceptance of Shabbos does not affect her other family members acceptance. Hence, her sons and husband may still perform Melacha, until sunset or until their personal acceptance of Shabbos.

The effects of a congregation accepting Shabbos early:[10] There is one case in which we find that one who did not yet personally accept Shabbos early is considered to have accepted Shabbos, and that is when the majority of the local congregation has already accepted Shabbos early, such as when the only shul in a small town of Jews has already recited Kabalas Shabbos, and majority of the congregation participated in that Minyan. In such a case, not only are all the worshipers considered to have accepted Shabbos through their participation in the communal prayer, but furthermore, even the individuals in the community who for whatever reason did not participate in the prayer are considered to have accepted Shabbos as a result of the communities acceptance, and it is hence forbidden for them to perform any Melacha from that time and on. Thus, even the wife and children at home must make sure to light candles and finish all their Melacha prior to Kabalas Shabbos and Maariv being recited in Shul. This, however, only applies if majority of the community and majority members of one’s Shul accepted Shabbos early. If, however, a majority of the congregation, or majority of the members of one’s Shul, have yet to recite Kabalas Shabbos, then the remaining members of the community which did not yet participate in Kabalas Shabbos, may still perform Melacha. [Thus, if one did not participate in the early Kabalas Shabbos prayer of one’s Shul, then if majority of the general community has yet to accept Shabbos, then he/she too is not obligated to accept Shabbos. Certainly, if one’s Shul has yet to Daven Kabalas Shabbos, then one is not obligated to accept Shabbos, even if majority of the general community and all other Shuls have already done so.]

The effects of a husband/father accepting Shabbos early: With the above background, we can now introduce our question: If the husband and father of the home have accepted Shabbos early, such as by participating in Kabalas Shabbos by an early Minyan, may his wife and children at home still perform Melacha and light candles after his prayer of Kabalas Shabbos, or is it considered that Shabbos is accepted upon them as well, and that therefore they must be careful to light candles and perform all necessary Melacha prior to the husband and father of the hall reciting Kabalas Shabbos. Do we view the husband as a private individual even in relation to his wife and children with regards to accepting Shabbos, and hence his acceptance does not force an acceptance upon his household? Or, do we view a husband similar to a community Shul, of which their acceptance of Shabbos affects the entire community, and hence by the husband accepting Shabbos it is automatically considered accepted also by his wife and children?

B. The law:

The debate: Some Poskim[11] rule that once a husband or father has accepted Shabbos upon himself through Davening [Shemoneh Esrei[12] of] Maariv either in private or with a Minyan, then it is considered accepted also upon his household, and it thus becomes forbidden for them to perform any Melacha even if it is still prior to sunset.[13] According to this opinion, all necessary Melacha in the home including the lighting of Shabbos candles, would need to be done prior to the husband Davening Maariv, as once he Davens Maariv they may no longer do any Melacha, including lighting of Shabbos candles. [However, some Poskim[14] rule that only if the husband has Davened and accepted Shabbos early for the sake of the Mitzvah does it affect the acceptance of his wife and children, while if he Davened early simply for the sake of being able to eat the meal earlier as is common in the summer, and his wife may still perform Melacha. Other Poskim[15], however, negate any such differentiation.] Other Poskim[16], however, rule that the husband’s Davening Maariv and acceptance of Shabbos does not affect at all the Shabbos status of the rest of his household, and hence his wife and children may still perform Melacha, and light Shabbos candles, even after he accepts Shabbos, so long as the majority of one’s Shul or community have yet to accept Shabbos through prayer.

The final ruling:[17] Practically, it is initially proper for one’s wife and children to light candles and finish performing all Melacha prior to the husband Davening Shemoneh Esrei of Maariv on Friday night. Likewise, a husband who knows that his wife or children will be unable to accept Shabbos at the time that he Davens Shemoneh Esrei of Maariv, is initially to delay Davening Shemoneh Esrei of Maariv, [or going to a Shul that does] until they are ready to accept Shabbos. Nonetheless, those wives and children who are lenient to continue to perform Melacha and light Shabbos candles after the father of the home has accepted Shabbos [even through Davening Maariv], have upon whom to rely, and are not to be protested, and so is the widespread custom, so long as the majority of one’s Shul or community have yet to accept Shabbos through prayer.

The definition of accepting Shabbos:[18] The above debate, and initially stringent ruling, only applies when the husband has already Davened Shemoneh Esrei of Maariv of Shabbos, or participated in his Shul’s Minyan which did so [even if he personally has yet to Daven Maariv[19]]. If, however, he has simply accepted Tosefes Shabbos, either through lighting candles himself, or through explicitly resolving to accept Shabbos, or even through reciting Kabalas Shabbos, then this does not affect his wife or household’s acceptance of Shabbos.

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[1] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:37; Migdanos Eliyahu 1:88

[2] See Admur 261:4; 263:17-19; Ketzos Hashulchan 73:5 footnote 16-17; 75:1-3; 76:1-4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:36-42; Shabbos Kihalacha Vol. 2 pages 2-4

[3] Siddur Admur; Geonim; In contrast to the ruling of Michaber and Admur 261:1 who rule like Rabbeinu Tam

[4] Admur 261:4 “There are opinions who rule that it is a positive Biblical command for one to add time to Shabbos”; 608:1 [To note that Admur here plainly rules that it is a Biblical command and does not bring the ruling as the ruling of “an opinion”.]; Michaber 261:2; Rif; Rosh; M”A 261:8 as explained in Machatzis Hashekel; Mishneh Berurah 261:19

Other Opinions: The Rambam rules that there is no Mitzvah at all of Tosefes Shabbos, not even Rabbinical.

[5] So is implied from Admur 608:7 that regarding accepting Tosefes Yom Kippur, it suffices mere acceptance of the heart even without verbalization, and it is only regarding a fast that accepting it early only is effective when verbalized [as by a fast it is like a vow, and a vow is only valid when verbalized].

[6] M”B 263:21

[7] Admur 261:7; M”B 261:31; Ketzos Hashulchan 76:1; 73 footnote 16-17

Other opinions: Admur ibid writes as follows: When Davening Kabalas Shabbos prior to sunset there are certain places which are accustomed to accepting Tosefes Shabbos from after saying the psalm of “Mizmor Shir Leyom Hashabbos” which is recited in Kabalas Shabbos prior to Maariv. From that point and onwards they are forbidden from doing Shabbos prohibited activity even though it is before sunset. However other communities are not accustomed to accept Shabbos with the saying of this psalm and rather only when they recite “Barchu” of the start of Maariv. Thus, those which follow this custom may continue to do Melacha until they recite Barchu.  The Mishneh Berurah 261:31, however, brings from many Poskim that today that we recite Lecha Dodi the custom is to accept Shabbos at that time, even though it precedes Mizmor Shir. The Ketzos Hashulchan [76 footnote 2] however questions this ruling saying that it is implied from the Peri Megadim that Mizmor Shir accepts Shabbos and not Lecha Dodi.

[8] Admur 261:3 and 263:17

[9] P”M 263 M”Z 1

[10] Admur 263:17-19; See Ketzos Hashulchan 76:1-4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 263:38-42

[11] Peri Megadim 263 M”Z 1; Makor Chaim of Chavos Yair 263:17; Ketzos Hashulchan 76 footnote 5 in name of P”M; Implication of Shulchan Hatahor 263:5; Igros Moshe O.C. 3:38; Shevet Halevi 7:25; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 3:82 [regarding small children]

[12] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 263 footnote 337

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the wife and children must accept Shabbos once the husband Davens Kabalas Shabbos, and says Shir Leyom Hashabbos. [Shevet Halevi ibid]

[13] The reason: As the same way the minority of a community follows the majority of the community, so too within one’s household that the members follow the status of the leader of the house. [Peri Megadim M”Z 1 brought in Ketzos Hashulchan 76 footnote 5] Alternatively, the reason is because a man’s wife and children and household members are considered secondary to him, and certainly a man’s small children are under his direct biblical obligation to prevent them from desecrating Shabbos. [Makor Chaim ibid; Igros Moshe ibid]

[14] Igros Moshe O.C. 3:38; 5:15; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 3:82; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 263 footnote 341

[15] Shevet Halevi 7:35; Halichos Shlomo Tefila 14:10; Shraga Hamier 7:96; See SSH”K 47 footnote 42

[16] Setimas Kol Haposkim, including Admur and the M”B, who omitted such a great Chidush in 263 and simple implication of Michaber 263:17 and Admur 263:25 who permit without limitation one who accepted Shabbos early to perform Melacha for him, and no mention is made that his wife and children may not be asked; Malbushei Yom Tov on Levush 261:4 that the women would light candles after their husbands already accepted Shabbos in Shul; Shesilei Zeisim 263:33; Toras Chaim Sofer 263:47; Minchas Yitzchak1:24 in name of Rav Poalim 2:49; Beir Moshe 2:15-19; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 3:85 [regarding wife]

[17] Conclusion of Beir Moshe ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

[18] Implication of P”M ibid; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 263 footnote 337 in length that the ruling of the P”M only applies if the husband accepted Itzumo Shel Yom, and not a mere Tosefes Shabbos.

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the wife and children must accept Shabbos once the husband Davens Kabalas Shabbos, and says Shir Leyom Hashabbos. [Shevet Halevi ibid]

[19] See Admur 263:19; Ketzos Hashulchan 76 footnote 9