Introduction

1. The verses in scripture:

In scripture there are a number of commands and statements recorded in relation to one’s parents. The command of respecting one’s parents is recorded in two different areas in Scripture within the 10 Commandments. The first verse is in Parshas Yisro, in the list of the 10 Commandments while the second verse is in Parshas Vaeschanon also within the list of the 10 Commandments. The command to fear one’s parents is brought in Parshas Kedoshim. In addition, there is a separate verse which discusses the punishment for hitting a parent, a separate verse which discusses the punishment for cursing a parent, and a separate verse which discusses shaming a parent, for a total of six verses in scripture.

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Honor

כַּבֵּד אֶת אָבִיךָ וְאֶת אִמֶּךָ לְמַעַן יַאֲרִכוּן יָמֶיךָ עַל הָאֲדָמָה אֲשֶׁר יי’ אֱלוֹקיךָ נֹתֵן לָךְ

“Honor your father and mother in order so your days are lengthened upon the earth that G-d has granted you.”

[Shemos 20:12, Parshas Yisro]

ָכַּבֵּד אֶת אָבִיךָ וְאֶת אִמֶּך כאשר צוך ה’ אלוקיך לְמַעַן יַאֲרִכוּן יָמֶיךָ ולמען ייטב לך על האדמה אשר ה’ אלוקיך נתן לך

“Honor your father and mother as G-d has commanded you in order so your days are lengthened and in order so you benefit upon the earth that G-d has granted you.”

[Devarim 5:16, Parshas Vaeschanon]

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Fear

אִישׁ אִמּוֹ וְאָבִיו תִּירָאוּ וְאֶת שַׁבְּתֹתַי תִּשְׁמֹרוּ אֲנִי יי’ אֱלֹקיכֶם

“Man is to fear his mother and father.”

[Vayikra 19:3, Parshas Kedoshim]

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Hitting, Cursing, Shaming

ומכה אביו ואמו מות יומת

“One who hits his father and mother is to be put to death”

[Shemos 21:15]

ומקלל אביו ואמו מות יומת

“One who curses his father and mother is to be put to death”

[Shemos 21:17]

ארור מקלה אביו ואמו

“Cursed should be one who shames [i.e. Makleh] his father and mother.”

[Devarim 27:16]

2. The sources of the laws:

The laws of honoring one’s parents are found in the following classic sources:

1. Miseches Kiddushin pages 30b-32a
2. Rambam Mishneh Torah Sefer Shoftim Hilchos Mamarim Chapters 5-6
3. Chinuch Mitzvah 33 and 212
4. Shulchan Aruch Chapters 240-241
5. Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibbud Av Va’eim [Vol. 26] & Erech Morah Av Vaeim [Vol. 43]

In addition to these classic sources, we allocated many addition laws and clarifications from the works of the Achronim, and recently published collection of Teshuvos on the subject, found in the Sefer Pesakim Uteshuvos.

3. Study and review of the laws:

Every individual is obligated to study the laws of honoring one’s parents and to become an expert in them, and then periodically review their study so they are always in the top of his mind. study and review of the laws.[1] This review of the laws is especially necessary prior to visiting or hosting one’s parents.

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[1] Yesod Veshoresh Havoda Shaar Hanitzutz 2 [review annualy]; Sefer Rachamei Ha’av