Chinuch for Chumras and Hiddurim[1]

There is no formal obligation to educate a child in matters of chumrah or hiddur mitzvah. Nevertheless, the widespread custom among God‑fearing families is to do so, taking into account the child’s maturity, disposition, and readiness for the Chumra. There is no single, uniform standard that applies in all cases.

• Example: Thus, for example, it may be inappropriate to accustom a child to immersing in a mikveh daily until he is close to the age of bar mitzvah, and indeed so is the common practice to delay until then. Likewise, one should not force a child to refrain from eating or drinking before kiddush until he reaches the age of bar mitzvah, as will be explained in the relevant chapter. At the same time, children are educated from a very young age to refrain from eating Gebrochts on Pesach, even though this matter is a mere Chumra and Hiddur.

🎓 Lesson in Chinuch:

In the above regard, parents and educators must exercise great care not to overburden the child with Chumros and Hiddurim. One must remember that the primary goal of education is not to “win the battle” by imposing this chumrah or that Hiddur and making sure he does so at times out of coercion, but to “win the war” in which the child himself desires to do so when he is older and of age by fostering a genuine love and enjoyment of Judaism. This is something that is often undermined when a child is forced to observe practices for which he is not yet ready. Accordingly, each case must be thoughtfully and responsibly considered and if necessary, one is to consult with a Rav for guidance.

[1] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:8; Rav Yaakov Yosef a”h would often quote Achronim who rule that there is no obligation on a father to educate his child in Minhagim that are due to Chumros, including the eating of Kitniyos on Pesach