From the Rav’s Desk: Farbrenging late in shul on expense of one’s family

  1. Question: [Thursday, 20th Adar, 5781]

My husband enjoys to Farbreng until late on Shabbos in Shul, and often remains until we are already done our meal at home, and at times he remains there until Mincha. It is not feasible for us to wait so long to start our meal until he comes home. I would like to know if the Rebbe ever addressed this issue.


Indeed, the Rebbe addressed this issue in a letter printed in Igros Kodesh volume 10 page 3. The following is a free translation of the letter which speaks for itself:

I have heard rumors, although not fully corroborated, that a large number of Anash and Temimim are accustomed on Shabbos Mevarchim to not eat at home the second meal, and hence only end up returning from shul either close to the night, or after the Maariv prayer. Now I do not know if even in previous years the sages were happy with such an arrangement as this one. Although on the one hand they fought against the mundane ways of the world of a Baal Habus, on the other hand they also did not want the opposite extreme, and although at times this may be necessary, this is not meant to be a permanent way of acting. Now, the same applies regarding the above details, that if they listen to my opinion, they will arrange the Farbrengen of Shabbos Mevarechim in a way that the light from the Farbrengen will then be brought to the home of each and every one of the participants, and this change of order should already begin from this very Shabbos. And certainly during Shabbos of the winter months the Farbrengen needs to be set up in a way that they can go home afterwards and eat the Shabbos meal with their family, and also tell their family about the specialness of the Shabbos .


Hence, the Rebbe’s words are clear that a father and husband should not spend a long time in shul Farbrengening on expense of his family, and should always arrange to arrive home with enough time to be able to make a Shabbos meal with his family and able to share with them the matters that he learned by the Farbrengen.

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