14. Intimacy in a room that has a light on:[1]

A. The law:

It is forbidden to have intercourse [i.e. penetration] in the presence of the light of a candle [or any other source of light, whether it be an electric bulb that contains a filament, a florescent or LED bulblight reaches the marital bed[2]].[3] This applies even if one covers himself with a sheet or blanket during the intercourse [i.e. Mafil Betaliso] and thus darkens the light [although see B regarding a Torah scholar].[4] [This is one of the main necessary sanctifications during intercourse.[5] This prohibition applies even if the  light is not very strong and is facing the opposite direction of where the intercourse will take place.[6] This applies even if the candle is found inside a glass or other transparent covering.[7] Accordingly, all lights in the room are to be turned off prior to penetration, and one is to extinguish any candles that have been lit. However, see next regarding placing a divider in front of the light, rather than extinguishing it. Likewise, the above restriction is only at the time of actual intercourse, however, during foreplay it is permitted for the light to remain lit, as explained in the Q&A below.]

The punishment for doing so:[8] One who has intercourse opposite a candle causes the children born to him to have the Nichfin illness [i.e. epilepsy].[9] Likewise, it causes the children to come out hunchbacked and ugly.[10] Rav Chaim Vital relates as follows:[11] it will cause the children to become epileptics when they are young, and if they do not get it when they are young then certainly it will occur to them when they are very old. In fact, the majority of children who die young due to epilepsy is for this reason, being that their parents had intimacy opposite light. This danger applies even if one’s wife is already pregnant, nevertheless, it can cause the child to be born with epilepsy, and therefore one must beware.[12] This danger applies even if one puts up a Mechitza to block the light, so long as it does not completely block the light from entering [as will be explained in B]. The Arizal once related that he saw a great sage from the previous generations who was reincarnated into a goat, due to the above sin that he had had intimacy with light in the room and caused his children to die young.[13] Indeed, it is recorded in the Mekubalim that one who has intercourse in a room with light, is punished to be reincarnated into a goat.[14] [Some Poskim[15] rule that the above dangers are only applicable if the wife can become pregnant or is already pregnant, but does not apply if she is not pregnant and cannot become pregnant due to the intercourse. It is unclear if the above danger is also applicable to electric light, and if other leniencies recorded regarding being naked in front of a candle apply here as well.[16] Nonetheless, even if any leniency would be applicable, it is only regarding the danger, not regarding the permissibility, as the prohibition of having intercourse in front of light would nevertheless remain. Furthermore, from the words of the Arizal recorded above, it is implied that the danger applies in all cases that light can be seen, and none of the leniencies stated, regarding being naked in front of a candle, would apply here.[17]]

Shabbos:[18] The above law applies even on Shabbos. Thus, if the light is on in one’s room on Shabbos, and one has no other room to go to [and one is unable to cover the candle[19]], it is forbidden to engage in marital relations. [However, see B regarding setting up a Mechitza.]  [Practically, prior to the start of Shabbos the couple is to verify that their bedroom lights are all turned off, or that they are set up to a Shabbos clock to turn them off by the time that they plan to have intercourse.[20]]

Moon light:[21] It is forbidden to have relations opposite the moon. [One who has relations opposite the moon, causes the children who are born to have skin ailments and leprosy.[22]] If the moon is shining through a window, and is giving light to the room, then if the light is shining directly on them, it is forbidden for them to have marital relations [until a Mechitza is placed between them and the moon, or it takes place completely under a sheet[23]]. However, if the moon is not shining directly upon them, but is simply shining into the room through a window, then it is permitted to have marital relations. [Nevertheless, some Poskim[24] prohibit it even in such a case. Other Poskim[25] rule that the couple must cover themselves well with a sheet during the intercourse in order to darken the area. Practically, whenever there is moon light entering through a window, it is proper to close the shutters, or, alternatively, cover oneself fully under the sheet, even if it is not directly shining on the person and is not giving off enough light to recognize each other.[26]] Nonetheless, if one is inside a roofless room and is thus lying under the sky, then it is forbidden to have marital relations even if they are in an area that is shaded from the direct light of the moon. 

Star light:[27] Star light is not considered light in the above regard, and hence there is no [Halachic] impediment against engaging in marital relations with star light shining into the room, even if it is a large star such as the Nogah. Nonetheless, possibly, if the star light is very strong and is really lighting up the room, then one is to avoid marital relations [unless a divider is placed or it takes place completely under a sheet[28]]. [The above is from a Halachic perspective, however, there is a tradition that one who has relations opposite the stars, causes the children who are born to have a speech disorder of stuttering.[29] If, however, they have intercourse completely under a sheet, then the above warning does not apply, and one may have intercourse even if the starlight is very strong.[30]]

Tikkun for having intimacy in a room with light:[31] If one had intercourse while the light was on in the room, then his Tikkun is to fast for 20 days [or redeem the fasts with charity]. Q&A On the night of the wedding, may one have intimacy in front of a candle? The custom of the community in Bagdad was to permit intercourse in front of a light or candle on the night of the wedding of a Besulah, by the Be’ilas Mitzvah. Some Poskim[32] defend this practice. Practically, however, majority of Poskim[33] prohibit doing so and thus one may not be lenient in this matter.

Foreplay – May the light remain on during the intimacy that takes place prior to intercourse?[34] All the above restrictions are only at the time of actual intercourse, however, during foreplay it is permitted for the light to remain lit, allowing them to see each other. This applies even if they are unclothed [under the covers] and are involved in hugging and kissing and will see each other’s naked body.[35] However, one must beware not to look at the vaginal area, as explained in Chapter 6 Halacha 11. Likewise, based on the general laws of Tzenius, the couple is to be under the covers when they are undressed, in order so that their bodies are not revealed in the room, as explained in Chapter 6 Halacha 8. Nonetheless, certainly it is an act of Tzenius and Kedusha to shut off the lights in the room prior to the couple getting undressed, in order so that they do not see each other naked; doing so fulfills the command of Kedoshim Tihyu and prevents one from becoming indulgent in lust.[36] Practically, this should only be done if it will not interfere with the quality of the intimacy,[37] and is accepted by both the husband and the wife in their joint desire to have extra Kedusha and Tzenius.[38] Likewise, if this Chumra will lead to the husband not feeling sexually satiated and cause him to desire to look at other women, then it is not to be kept.[39] When teaching Chassanim and Kallahs before their wedding, they are to be taught as above, that from the letter of the law it is allowed for them to get undressed [under the covers] and have intimacy with the lights on in the room until the time of penetration, although it is an act of Tzenius and Kedusha to turn off the lights prior to getting undressed, as stated, and so is the initial directive.[40] This especially applies to G-d fearing and pious Chassanim and Kallahs who desire to do everything according to the ultimate level of Kedusha and Taharah. Those Chasan teachers who abstain from informing them of this information, and make it as if it is completely permitted without any need for piety to be stringent, or that it is even obligatory, are not following the Rabbinical directives in this matter.[41]

B. Placing a Mechitza/Divider in front of the light:[42]

[One is not required to turn off the light or extinguish the candle, and] it suffices for one to set up a Mechitza/divider in front of the light/candle.

The definition of a valid Mechitza: The divider must be at least ten Tefachim high [80 centimeters]. [If a sheet is being used as a divider, it must be tied down well enough on bottom to the point that the wind would not be able to move it.[43] These conditions, however, are only required if light can be seen through the Mechitza, or over the Mechitza, as explained next. However, if the light cannot be seen from on top of the Mechitzah, and it is thick enough to darken the light, then the divider may be even less than ten Tefachim high and does not need to be tied down, as explained next.[44] Thus, if one surrounds his marital bed with a thick wall canopy which darkens the light, then it is a valid separation, even if it does not block the light completely, as explained next.]

If light can be seen through or above the Mechitza/divider:[45] A ten Tefachim high divider, which is placed in front of a light, remains valid even if light can still be seen through the divider, such as if one used a [thin] sheet as a divider. [Likewise, it is valid even if its light can be seen from above the divider.[46] Nonetheless, in such a case, when the room contains light, one must block and darken the light by covering both their bodies from head to toe with a sheet during the intercourse.[47] If, however, only a minute amount of light penetrates, to the point that they cannot even recognize each other’s faces, then there is no need to have the intercourse fully under a sheet.[48]] If, however, the divider is not ten Tefachim high, then placing it before the light does not permit intercourse; unless the divider extends above the light in a way that one cannot see the light from the area that he will have intercourse, and the divider is slightly thick to the point that the light cannot be well seen through the separation.[49] [The above is only in accordance with Halacha, however, according to Kabbalah, having light visible during intercourse can cause damage to one’s offspring, even if she is already pregnant and even if a valid divider has been placed, rather the divider must totally and completely block the light in order to permit intimacy.[50] Practically, whenever there is light entering through a Mechitza, it is proper to close the light when possible, or, alternatively, cover oneself fully under the sheet from head to toe in a way that no light penetrates at all.[51]]

Setting up a divider on Shabbos to block the light:[52] It is permitted to set up a divider on Shabbos in order to block the light and permit marital relations.[53] [If, however, one needs the divider to create a separate domain in order to remove a prohibition, such as if the candlelight is visible above or through the divider, then it is forbidden to make it on Shabbos.[54] Practically, prior to the start of Shabbos, the couple is to verify that their bedroom lights are all turned off, or that they are set up to a Shabbos clock to turn them off by the time that they plan to have intercourse, in order so that they do not need to resort to making a Mechitza.[55]]

Covering a candle:[56] If a candle or lamp is lit in the room, one is not required to extinguish the lamp or candle, covering the light with a [non-transparent] vessel [in a fire-safe manner] suffices. [However, it does not suffice to cover the candle with a glass covering.[57] The same applies for any transparent covering. In the event that the light escapes from the sides of the vessel, then the couple is to fully cover themselves under a sheet during the actual intercourse.[58]]

Bed canopy:[59] It is permitted to have marital relations inside of a bed canopy which contains thick [wall] sheets which darken the light in the room, and it is not necessary to extinguish the lights. This applies even if a slight amount of light can be seen through the thick canopy sheet walls. [The above is only in accordance to Halacha, however, according to Kabbalah, having light visible during intercourse can cause damage to one’s offspring, even if she is already pregnant and even if a divider has been placed, rather it must totally and completely block the light.[60]]

Torah Scholar Mafil Betaliso – Not dark room but under the sheets:[61] The prohibition of intercourse in front of light applies even if one covers himself with a sheet or blanket during intercourse [i.e. Mafil Betaliso] thus darkening the light.[62] However, some Poskim[63] rule that it is permitted for a Torah scholar [who is modest in his ways[64] and will not look at his wife’s private area[65] and knows to properly cover himself[66]] to have intercourse in a room with the light on, if [there is no way to turn it off, such as on Shabbos, and] one performs the intercourse completely under [thick] sheets [by covering the entire body, from head to toe in a way that no limb will protrude outside the sheet[67]]. [The sheets have to be thick enough to block the light and prevent any spark of light from being seen.[68]] Other Poskim,[69] however, rule that it is forbidden to do so, even for a Torah scholar, and that this allowance only applies during daylight and not during the night when one is opposite a candle [or electric light]. Practically, in a time of need, a Torah scholar may be lenient if there is no way to turn off the light [such as on Shabbos] or create a divider to block it. This especially applies if the wife is not currently pregnant and cannot become pregnant [i.e. is nursing, on birth control, or past menopause].[70] [However, a non-Torah scholar may not be lenient at all, as follows the simple ruling of the Poskim.[71] However, in a time of need, to prevent Zera Levatala, even a non Torah scholar may be lenient as stated above.[72]]

Summary: It is forbidden to have intercourse [i.e. penetration] in the presence of light, unless a proper Mechitza/divider is placed between the light and the bed, or the candle is concealed under a cover. The above is only in accordance with Halacha, however, according to Kabbalah, having light visible during intercourse can cause damage to one’s offspring, even if it is mainly blocked by a Mechitza, and hence, one needs to verify that there is no light at all  penetrating past the Mechitza or cover;alternatively, one is to have intercourse completely under a blanket in order to block out all the light. In all cases that it is possible, one should simply close the light, door, or shutter, in order to block any of the light from entering the room.   Q&A May one have intercourse with a light on in the room to prevent Zera Levatala?[73] If one is unable to have intercourse in another dark room, and is unable to turn off the light or make a Mechitza in front of it, then if abstinence can likely lead to Zera Levatala, one may be lenient to have intercourse completely under a sheet that is covering them from head to toe.   Pulling out in middle if one notices a light on in the room or if the light suddenly turned on:[74] If, in the midst of intercourse, one notices that a light was left on in the room, or that the Mechitza in front of the light fell, then if one is close to ejaculation and separating from his wife can cause Zera Levatala, he is to finish the intercourse despite the above discovered issue.[75] If, however, it will not cause ejaculation, then if the matter was not his fault, such as if the Mechitza he made in front of the light suddenly fell, some Poskim[76] rule that he is not required to pull out and may complete the intercourse. If, however, it was his fault and he simply did not notice the light, then he is to immediately pull out from her and take care of the issue. Other Poskim,[77] however, rule that in all cases one is to separate from his wife, unless he is certain that it will cause Zera Levatala.   How much light must the light give off for it to prohibit intercourse?[78] So long as the light gives off even a slight amount of light towards the marital bed, it is forbidden [even if it does not give off enough light for the couple to be able to see each other[79]]. If its light is so dim that it does not shine at all towards the bed, then it is valid. Seemingly, this applies even according to Kabbalah.[80]   If one is in a large roofless room or porch and the light is so far away that it does not shine at all into their area, must it be closed or covered?[81] No. So long as the light of the candle/bulb cannot reach the marital bed, it does not need to be covered.   Must one cover or turn off a night light during intercourse?[82] Yes. However, if the light is so dim to the point that it does not shine at all towards the marital bed, then it is permitted. Seemingly, this applies even according to Kabbalah.[83]   Must one cover or turn off a small light from one’s phone or other electrical device during intercourse?[84] No. A very dim light, which does not shine at all onto the bed, is not required to be covered and may remain visible during intercourse. Seemingly, this applies even according to Kabbalah.[85] May one have intercourse if an electric glowing heater is on in the room?[86] No. The coils of a heater are considered light and hence need to be turned off during the actual intercourse. Must one close the door if there is a light on outside the door which is shining into the room?[87] If the light is on in a different room, then from the letter of the law, one is not even required to close the door. It goes without saying that one may leave the door slightly ajar, allowing some light to come in. Nonetheless, if the light is facing directly opposite the opened door or window, then one is to [close the door, blinds, or alternatively] cover himself with a blanket to darken the light during the intercourse. If the light is not shining directly onto them, then intercourse is permitted, even without darkening the light with a sheet. [The above, however, is only in accordance with Halacha, however, according to Kabbalah, having light visible during intercourse can cause damage to one’s offspring, even if she is already pregnant.[88] However, some Poskim[89] learn that whenever the light is outside the actual room, then even according to Kabbalah, it is permitted to have intercourse, even if its light reaches inside the room. Practically, whenever there is light entering through a door or window, it is proper to close the door or shutters, or, alternatively, cover oneself fully under the sheet, even if the light is not shining directly onto the person, if it gives off enough light for them to recognize each other.[90]]   Must one close the light in the hallway or bathroom if its light can be seen from under the door?[91] Based on the previous answer, it goes without saying that it is permitted to have intercourse with the light shining through the bottom crack of a door and the like. There is no need to turn off the light in the hallway, or stuff the crack with clothing and the like. [However, according to Kabbalah, having light visible during intercourse can cause damage to one’s offspring, even if she is already pregnant.[92]]   Must one close the shutters/blinds if a streetlight can be seen through the window?[93] From the letter of the law this is not required, so long as the light is not shining directly onto them, in which case one is required to close the shades/shutters. However, practically, due to both Kabalistic and other considerations, whenever there is light entering through a window it is proper to close the shutters, or, alternatively, cover oneself fully under the sheet, even if the light is not shining directly onto them and is not giving off enough light for the couple to recognize each other. What is one to do if the light was left on in the couple’s room on Shabbos? See Chapter 2 Halacha 5 in Q&A! On Shabbos, may one open a folded Mechitzah in order to make a Halachic division of a room, such as to enable marital relations? See Chapter 2 Halacha 5 in Q&A!

15. Areas in which intercourse may not take place:[94]

Public areas:[95] It is forbidden to have relations in [public areas, such as] the marketplace, streets, gardens, and orchards [or beaches].[96] Rather, intimacy is only permitted to be done inside a home.[97] A man who has intercourse with his wife in these areas is liable to receive Rabbinical lashes [i.e. Makas Mardus].

Bathhouse and bathroom:[98] One may not have relations in a bathhouse [or bathroom].

Q&A May a couple have intercourse on their porch or back yard?[99] From the letter of the law, it is permitted to engage in intercourse under the sky, in a walled private area that is roofless, such as one’s walled back yard or porch, so long as one cannot see the moon shining from the area, as explained in the previous Halacha. [However, this only applies if they cannot be seen by others, such as there are no buildings in the area, or if they are the highest apartment in their condominium and cannot be seen by any surrounding condominiums. Practically, many people feel uncomfortable doing so in these areas, as they subconsciously feel that they will be seen or heard, and therefore it is not advised to have intimacy in such areas and it may prove difficult for the husband and wife to focus on the intimacy while there.]   May a couple engage in intimacy in a tent under the sky that is in a public area?[100] Yes.   May a couple engage in marital relations in a Sukkah? It is permitted for a married couple to engage in marital intimacy in a Sukkah.[101] However, there are Poskim[102] who rule that it is forbidden to do so. May a couple engage in intimacy in a Shul or Beis Midrash?[103] No. A Shul or Beis Midrash contains Kedusha which prohibits one from performing lightheaded activity within it, and hence, certainly having intimacy in the premises would be forbidden. Thus, even if a couple are the directors of the Shul, and is able to lock it for their privacy and properly cover or remove all the Sefarim, it is forbidden to engage in intimacy in the sanctuary or Ezras Nashim, and certainly intercourse is forbidden. However, if they have a private room within the Shul building, it is permitted to have intercourse while there, although it should not be done if the room is on top of the sanctuary, and hence guest rooms should not be set up there. May a couple have intimacy in the husband’s office which he uses as his private Beis Midrash? A private study room does not have the same status of holiness as a Beis Midrash.[104] However, it does have some level of holiness,[105] and hence, it is proper to avoid having marital intercourse in the room, even if all the Sefarim are properly covered or removed. Nonetheless, one who does so has upon whom to rely, if the office is rented and not owned by the person,[106] or if it is designated for other purposes as well, aside for learning Torah.[107]

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[1] Michaber 240:11; Niddah 17a, “One who has intercourse opposite a candle is admonished”; Seder Hayom Hanhagas Halayla; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 419; Kitzur SHU”A 150:3; Taharas Yisrael 240:69-75; Kaf Hachaim 240:69-78; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:25; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmonson-2015] p. 338-358

[2] See M”B 240:39; Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26

[3] Michaber O.C. 240:11; E.H. 25:5; Niddah 17b

The reason: It is forbidden, as perhaps he will see something distasteful about his wife and thus come to transgress, “Ve’ahavta Lirei’acha Kamocha.” [Rav Chisda and Abayey in Niddah ibid regarding daytime; Seder Hayom ibid] Likewise, it is forbidden due to it being brazen and immodest to be visible during intimacy, even if one is in front of one’s own wife. [Seder Hayom ibid; See Maharsha on Niddah ibid] Likewise, it is to be done without light, in order to diminish one’s lust. [Seder Hayom ibid] The practical ramifications between these reasons is regarding a blind person.

[4] Michaber ibid and ibid; Tosafus Niddah ibid in name of Ra’avad; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:5; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:1

[5] Reishis Chochmah Sha’ar Hakedusha 16:33

[6] M”A 240:24; Seder Hayom; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 4212; K’neses Hagedola 240; M”B 240:39; Kaf Hachaim 240:74

[7] M”A 240:24; Seder Hayom; K’neses Hagedola 240; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 422; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:5; M”B 240:39; Kaf Hachaim 240:74

[8] See Kaf Hachaim 240:69; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:25; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:3

[9] Pesachim 112a; M”A 240:24; Biur Halacha 240:11 “Leur Haner”

[10] Kol Bo118

[11] Sha’ar Hamitzvos Parshas Bereishis; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:6

[12] M”A 240:24; Arizal in Sha’ar Hakavanos; Sha’ar Hamitzvos Parshas Bereishis; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 419

[13] Sha’ar Hamitzvos ibid; Sha’ar Hagilgulim Hakdama 22 p. 21b; Likkutei Torah Ri’ei 3 that the Arizal once slaughtered such a goat and had its meat for Shabbos to elevate the soul

[14] Or Tzadikim 27:5; Siddur Rav Shabsi Miroshkov 2 Shechiva p. 42a

[15] Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26

[16] See regarding the adjacent Talmudic warning against being naked in front of a candle and whether it applies to electric light: Yabia Omer Y.D. 3:7; Doveiv Meisharim 1:124; Mili Dechassidusa on Tzavah Rebbe Yehuda Hachassid 14 and Piskeiy Teshuvos 275 footnote 38 that there is no danger when the candle is covered by glass; See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31 footnote 7

See regarding the adjacent Talmudic warning against being naked in front of a candle that it does not apply if the candle is covered: Mili Dechassidusa on Tzavah Rebbe Yehuda Hachassid 14; Mishnas Yosef 9:3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 275 footnote 38; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid

See regarding the adjacent Talmudic warning against being naked in front of a candle that it does not apply if one is a distance from the candle: Roshe Bashmayim 6 [four Amos distance]; Makor Chaim 5; Zecher Yehosef 28; See Yabia Omer Y.D. 3:7; Tav Yehoshua Shemiras Berias Haguf 17

[17] Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:6

[18] Michaber E.H. 25:5; See Admur 315:3

[19] Chelkas Mechokeik E.H. 25:4

[20] Chosen Yeshuos 150:11; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:8

[21] M”A 240:24; Seder Hayom Hanhagas Halayla; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 423 [writes that through a window is never a problem]; K’neses Hagedola 240; Elya Raba 240:19; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:5; Kitzur SHU”A 150:3; See Beis Shmuel E.H. 25:5 in name of Sh’lah that if the moon shines through a window it is permitted through covering oneself with a Tallis. No differentiation is made between if the moon is shining directly on them or not; M”B 240:39; Kaf Hachaim 240:75-77

Time of need: Some Poskim rule that in a time of need, such as one is unable to block the moonlight, then one is allowed to have intercourse even if it is directly shining through the window. [Ashel Avraham Butchach 240, brought in Piskeiy Teshuvos 240 footnote 196]

[22] Rokei’ach 317 “Bohak and then Tzara’as”; Kaf Hachaim 240:77

[23] See Kaf Hachaim 240:76

[24] M”A ibid in name of K’neses Hagedola 240

[25] Beis Shmuel E.H. 25:5; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:5; Kitzur SHU”A 150:3; M”B 240:39 and Sha’ar Hatziyon 240:20; See Kaf Hachaim 240:76 and 77

[26] Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:4

[27] M”A 240:24; Seder Hayom; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 424; K’neses Hagedola 240; Elya Raba 240:19; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:5 that it is possible that star light is not considered light-Vetzaruch Iyun; Kaf Hachaim 240:76

[28] See Kaf Hachaim 240:76

[29] Rokei’ach 317 “Bohak and then Tzara’as”; Kaf Hachaim 240:77

[30] Kaf Hachaim 240:76 and 77

[31] Yifei Laleiv 2 Kuntrus Achron 18; Kaf Hachaim 240:69

[32] Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26; Torah L’shma 104

[33] Yam Shel Shlomo Beitza 2:30; Derisha 240; Olas Shabbos O.C. 514:1; Elya Raba 514:4; Pischeiy Teshuvah 192:4; Maharm Zakus 27; Nitei Gavriel 6:18; Taharas Habayis p. 516 that the custom in majority of places is to be stringent; Tzitz Eliezer 10:13; Divrei Yisrael p. 142

[34] See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:9-10 and footnotes 13-15

[35] Pashtus Setimas Kol Haposkim; implication of the law which simply restricts against looking at the genitals, which implies that it is permitted to look at all other body parts of one’s wife; Implication of Michaber Y.D. 195:67 that only when one’s wife is a Niddah may one not see her usually covered parts; implication of Michaber E.H. 117:10 and Chelkas Mechokeik 117:17 that after Tashmish has taken place one can no longer claim that he was unaware of a certain Mum, as there is a Chazakah that a person does not drink a cup unless he looks it over well; Ezer Mikodesh E.H. 25:2, “The prohibition only applies against seeing her Ervah, however all other parts of the body are permitted to be seen. Now, although it is proper to guard oneself, nevertheless, the term prohibition can’t be used against this”; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:9 that so applies from the letter of the law

Other opinions: Some Rabbanim write that perhaps it is also forbidden to have intimacy prior to Tashmish when the light is lit, as one may forget to turn off the light, just as one would forget to remove the Sefarim from the room. [See Meiy HaDa’as p. 145 and Halacha 13B] However, see Admur 610:1 that we do not suspect that they will forget, and have relations when the light is on, and hence seemingly it is much different than a Sefer which is not opposite one’s eyes and is much easier to forget about.

[36] See Shita Mekubetzes Nedarim 20b for Amora who would not look at his wife’s body in order so he does not come to lust after other women; Sotah 8a that the Yetzer Hara gets greater lust with vision; Ezer Mikodesh ibid that it is proper to guard oneself; Sefer Hama’amarim Ayin Beis 2:916, “Close your eyes from seeing evil, whether of the prohibited or the permitted, as it is stated, ‘Kadesh Atzmecha’”; Beir Moshe 4:122 regarding swimming together; Kedusha Utzenius p. 187; Meiy HaDa’as 240:85 and p. 139 in letter of Rav Moshe Shternbuch and p. 72 in answer of Rav Pinchas Sheinberg; Chut Shani Shabbos 2:275 and Yom Tov p. 30; Binyan Habayis Al Pi Derech Hatorah p. 122-125 and 378; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:9 footnote 13

[37]  Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:10

[38] However, see Binyan Habayis Al Pi Derech Hatorah ibid who emphasizes that occasionally this demand comes from the wife and not the husband, although she is also instructed in the Mitzvah of Kedoshim Tihyu.

[39] See Asher Chanan 3-4 E.H. 69:9; Meiy Hada’as p. 78; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:10 footnote 14; Binyan Habayis Al Pi Derech Hatorah p. 122-125 [however, see there that on the contrary, to begin with, looking at one’s wife undressed can cause him to become more indulgent in Ta’avos]; See also Rokei’ach Hilchos Chassidus Shoresh Kedushas Hayichud that whatever one desires to do to his wife he may doso  in order that he does not look at other women.

[40] See at length: Meiy Hada’as p. 72; Chut Shani ibid and ibid; Binyan Habayis Al Pi Derech Hatorah p.122-125; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:11 footnote 15

[41] See Sefarim in previous footnote which vehemently oppose such Chasan teachers and say that they are being Machshil the Rabim

[42] Rama 240:11; Admur 315:3; Hagahos Maimanis Yom Tov 4; Rashi Beitza 22a; Beis Shmuel E.H. 25:5; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:5; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:2

[43] See Admur 315:3; M”B 240:40

The reason: As this is required when making a separation in order to separate domains, such as [when having relations in the same room as] Holy Books, as was explained in chapter 240 [Halacha 6 in Michaber/Rama]. [Admur ibid]

[44] Admur 315:3; M”A 315:3 in explanation of Rama 315:1; M”B 315:10

[45] Rama ibid, based on Rashi Beitza 22a; See Taz 240:2 who debates this ruling of the Rama and his understanding of Rashi ibid

[46] M”A 240:24; Poskim in next footnote

[47] M”A 240:24; Taz 240:2; Rashal Beitza 2:30; Beis Shmuel E.H. 25:5; Elya Raba 240:19; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:5; Chochmas Adam 128:9; M”B 240:41; Kaf Hachaim 240:72 and 71[regarding head to toe]; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:25

The reason: As since there is light in the room, it is similar to daytime, during which we require one to darken himself with a sheet. [Poskim ibid]

[48] Implication of Seder Hayom, “If it shines towards their faces”; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:2

[49] Admur 315:3; M”A 240:24 and 315:3 in explanation of Rama 315:1; Seder Hayom; K’neses Hagedola 240; Elya Raba 240:19; M”B 315:10; Kaf Hachaim 240:73

[50] Taz 240:2; Arizal in Peri Eitz Chaim Sha’ar Kerias Shema She’al Hamita 11; Sha’ar Hakavanos; Sha’ar Hamitzvos Parshas Bereishis; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 419; Or Tzadikim 27:5 rules that if light can be seen, it is forbidden to have intercourse, even if the light is covered by a valid Mechitza; Mahariy Tzemach in Lechem Min Hashamayim Zivug; Nagid Mitzvah p. 21; Siddur Rav Yaakov Kopel Kol Yaakov Periyah Verivyah p. 112b; Morah Ba’etzba 2:48; Sh’lah Sha’ar Ha’osyos Kedushas Zivug p. 419; Chochmas Adam 128:9; Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26; M”B 240:41 and 315:10 that so is implied from Sh’lah; Sha’ar Hatziyon 240:24 and 26; Kaf Hachaim 240:69; Otzer Chaim of Kumrana; Shulchan Hatahor 240:6

The punishment: One who transgresses this is punished by being reincarnated into a goat. [Or Tzadikim ibid]

[51] Implication of Taz ibid that Hafalas Tallis helps, even according to the Arizal; Possible understanding of M”A ibid; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:6 that so can be understood from wording of Rav Chaim Vital, that so long as there is no light in the area of the intimacy, such as if they close it off with a sheet, then it is permitted even according to Kabbalah; Implication of Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26; See Beis Shmuel E.H. 25:5; M”B 240:39 and Sha’ar Hatziyon 240:20; See Kaf Hachaim 240:76 and 77; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31 footnote 8

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that Hafalas Tallis never helps, according to Kaballah, and that one must always completely darken the light from shining into the room at all or at least past the Mechitza. [Setimas Divrei Talmidei Ha’Arizal ibid that no light may ever shine past the Mechitza, even if it does not reach the bed; Implication of Chochmas Adam 128:9; M”B 240:41 and Sha’ar Hatziyon 240:24 in name of Chochmas Adam; See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31 footnote 8]

[52] Admur 315:3; M”A 315:3 in explanation of Rama 315:1, brought in M”B 315:10; M”A ibid in name of Rambam; Rokei’ach; Rikanti and Rashi; Taz 514:2 regarding Yom Tov that one may always make a Mechitza before a candle; Halachos Ketanos 2:206

Other Poskim: Some Poskim rule that it is forbidden to create a Mechitza in front of a candle or Sefarim, even if one does not need the Mechitza. [Implication of Rama ibid; Elya Raba; Ma’amar Mordechai; Chemed Moshe; brought in M”B 315:10] The M”B ibid concludes that one may be lenient like Admur and the M”A ibid in a case of need.

[53] The reason: If one does not need [the dividers] to separate the [area] into its own domain, then it’s allowed to initially make it on Shabbos, even if it [consequently] removes a prohibition. For example, one who positions a divider in front of a light in order so that he be permitted to have marital relations, [then since] it is not necessary [here] to have separate domains [to permit intercourse], then it is allowed to have intercourse even if [the divider] is not the height of ten handbreadths and does not separate [that area] into its own domain at all.  Furthermore, [one is allowed to have intercourse even] if [the separation] is not tied  well enough to the point that the wind would not be able to move it, as is required when making a separation to separate domains, such as [when having relations in the same room as] Holy books, as was explained in chapter 240 [Halacha 6 in Michaber/Rama]. [Therefore] since one does not need [the dividers] to make a separate domain, it is permitted to make it, even in a way that it separates the domains, as is the case when [the divider] is higher than ten handbreadths and is tied well. [Admur ibid]

[54] M”A 315:3; M”B 315:10; Rama 315:1 forbids to make a Mechitza before a candle in order to permit Tashmish and the M”A ibid explains this to be the scenario of the prohibition. Vetzaruch Iyun why this clause is omitted by Admur, despite the fact that he brings the remainder of the ruling of the M”A ibid. Perhaps Admur is of the opinion of the Arizal brought above and Sh’lah [recorded in M”B ibid], that if the candle can be seen above the Mechitza, it is forbidden to have relations, and hence, according to Admur, making a Mechitza before a candle would never be needed as a legal partition, as if the candle can still be seen it is not valid to permit relations, and if it cannot be seen it is valid regardless of the creation of the separate domain. However, according to the M”A ibid who rules [based on Rama 240:11] that one may have relations using a Tallis if there is a Mechitza, even if the candle is visible, then the Mechitza’s new domain is Halachically valid, and hence cannot be done on Shabbos. Vetzaruch Iyun!

Other opinions: It is implied from some Poskim/Rishonim [brought in M”A ibid and Sha’ar Hatziyon 315:12] that one may always make a Mechizta in front of a candle, even in such a case.

[55] Chosen Yeshuos 150:11; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:8

[56] Rama ibid; Levush 240; Hagahos Maimanis Yom Tov 3; Rashal Beitza 3:30; K’neses Hagedola 240:3; Kaf Hachaim 240:78

[57] M”A 240:24; Seder Hayom; K’neses Hagedola 240; Kaf Hachaim 240:74

[58] Kaf Hachaim 240:78; See previous footnotes regarding light that penetrates a Kosher Mechitza that the validity of Hafalas Tallis applies even according to Kabbalah, although some argue.

[59] M”A 240:24; Seder Hayom; K’neses Hagedola 240; Elya Raba 240:19; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 421; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:5; M”B 315:10; Kaf Hachaim 240:73

[60] M”A 240:24; Taz 240:2; Arizal in Sha’ar Hakavanos; Sha’ar Hamitzvos Parshas Bereishis; Or Tzadikim 27:5 rules that if light can be seen, it is forbidden to have intercourse, even if the light is covered by a valid Mechitza.

The punishment: One who transgresses this, is punished by being reincarnated into a goat. [Or Tzadikim ibid]

[61] See Ashel Avraham Butchach 240; Kaf Hachaim 240:71; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:7

[62] Michaber O.C. 240:11; E.H. 25:5; Tosafos Niddah 17a in name of Ra’avad; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:1

[63] Olas Tamid 240:5; Implication of Zohar in Hakdama p. 14b

[64] M”A 240:25; Tur 240; M”B 240:45; Kaf Hachaim 240:80

[65] M”A 240:25 in name of Rashi Niddah 17a and Shabbos 86a; Taharas Yisrael 240:74; M”B 240:45

[66] See Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:6; Igros Moshe 1:102

[67] Kaf Hachaim 240:71; See Pirush Rabbeinu Yehonason on Rif Eiruvin 100b regarding head; See Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:6; Igros Moshe 1:102

[68] Kaf Hachaim 240:71

[69] Seder Hayom Hanhagas Halayla; Elya Raba 240:18 in name of Seder Hayom and Sh’lah; Birkeiy Yosef 240:16 in name of Rashbatz; P”M 240 A”A 25

[70] Kaf Hachaim ibid; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid

[71] Implication of Poskim ibid; See Michaber 240:11, “Even if one darkens with his sheet”; Darkei Taharah p. 205; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid

[72] Pischeiy Olam 240 in Kuntrus Achron; Taharas Yisrael 240:21; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:25

[73] Pischeiy Olam 240 in Kuntrus Achron; Taharas Yisrael 240:21; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:25

[74] See Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmonson-2015] 461

[75] Rav Poalim 1:9; Ashel Avraham Butchach Tinyana 240:11; Shevet Hakehasi 5:48

[76] Rav Poalim 1:9

[77] Ashel Avraham Butchach Tinyana 240:11; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 45:1-2 concludes like this opinion, if he is certain that it will not cause Zera Levatala

[78] Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26

[79] Implication of Ben Ish Chaiy ibid; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:1; See however Mishkan Yisrael p. 79 that so long as their faces are not recognizable, then it suffices

[80] Implication of Ben Ish Chaiy ibid; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:6

[81] Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26

[82] See M”B 240:39; Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:1

[83] Implication of Ben Ish Chaiy ibid; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:6

[84] See Ashel Avraham Butchach 240; Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:25 footnote 99; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:3

[85] Implication of Ben Ish Chaiy ibid; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:6

[86] Shevet Hakehasi 5:48-2; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:1; See Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26

[87] Seder Hayom Hanhagas Halayla, brought in Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 420 ; K’neses Hagedola 240; P”M 240 M”Z 2; Beis Shmuel E.H. 25:5 [however, no differentiation is made regarding if the light is shining directly onto them or not]; Kitzur SHU”A 150:3; Kaf Hachaim 240:70; M”B 240:42 in name of Chochmas Adam that with Hafalas Tallis it is permitted and Sha’ar Hatziyon 240:26 that it is certainly permitted if light is not directly opposite the door or window and he leaves the matter in question if it is permitted even if the light is directly opposite the window or door [However, see M”B 240:39 who prohibits this even by moonlight]; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:25; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:4 concludes that whenever there is enough light given off that they can recognize their faces, then covering under a blanket, or closing the door, is required.

[88] See Taz 240:2; Arizal in Peri Eitz Chaim Sha’ar Kerias Shema She’al Hamita 11; Sha’ar Hakavanos; Sha’ar Hamitzvos Parshas Bereishis; Or Tzadikim 27:5; Kaf Hachaim 240:69; Shulchan Hatahor 240:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:25 footnote 198 that it is clear from their ruling that this applies even if the light is in another room, unlike Sha’ar Hatziyon brought next.

[89] Sha’ar Hatziyon 240:26 that by a different Reshus even the Arizal would agree

[90] See M”B 240:42 who implies to do Hafalas Tallis in all cases; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 31:4; See M”A ibid in name of K’neses Hagedola 240 regarding moonlight, that one is to be stringent, even if not directly shining through. The following Poskim rule that one is to cover himself with a sheet: Beis Shmuel E.H. 25:5; M”B 240:39 and Sha’ar Hatziyon 240:20; See Kaf Hachaim 240:76 and 77; See previous footnotes regarding light that penetrates a Kosher Mechitza, that the validity of Hafalas Tallis applies even according to Kabbalah, although some argue against this.

[91] See Ashel Avraham Butchach 240; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:25 footnote 99

[92] M”A 240:24; Taz 240:2; Arizal in Sha’ar Hakavanos

[93] Poskim ibid regarding moonlight

[94] See Taharas Yisrael 240:63; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmonson-2015] p. 325-327

[95] Michaber E.H. 25:4; Tur E.H. 25:4; Rambam; Sanhedrin 46a; Kitzur SHU”A 150:11; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:15; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 27:1

[96] The reason: As this appears like promiscuity [i.e. Zenus] and will lead a person to promiscuity. [Michaber ibid]

[97] The reason: In order that it does not appear like harlotry, and in order so one not accustom himself to promiscuity. [Michaber ibid]

[98] Michaber 240:15

[99] See Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeira 2:26, “If one is sleeping in a large Achsadra or large roof… it is permitted to have intercourse”; Implication of Chochmas Adam 128:12 and M”B 240:39, “It is forbidden to have intercourse in an open area which does not have Mechitzos”; Implication of Michaber ibid who specifies only public areas, and does not simply write, “a place without a roof” [Now, although the Michaber rules that one should only do so in a Beis Dirah, which means a home, a porch or gated back yard is also considered part of a home and it is difficult to accept that the definition here would be similar to the definition of a room regarding Mezuzah, in which case a roof is required. Now, although people may be able to see them, this worry applies likewise in a house that has windows, which people can see through. Nonetheless, obviously, if the area is not enclosed at all, or is enclosed with a see-through wall or fence, then certainly it would be prohibited.] See Ufikadeta Navecha p. 42 footnote 22 that in a courtyard with Mechitzos, it is permitted; All this is unlike the seeming understanding of Sheyikadesh Atzmo 27:1 who writes that one may not do so in a Chatzer;

Other opinions: See M”A 240:24, brought in M”B 240:39, that, “if they are under the sky, it is forbidden even if they are shaded from the moon.” And so rules Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:5 [This implies that there is a general prohibition to have intimacy under the sky. However, perhaps there is no prohibition to have intimacy under the sky unless the moon is visible and shining, in which case we say that even if one chooses a shaded area, such as near a wall, it is still forbidden. However, if the moon is not visible, such as it is to the side of the sky or it is very cloudy, then it would be permitted]

[100] Sheyikadesh Atzmo 27:1; See however Upikadeta Navecha p. 42 footnote 22 which argues that perhaps it is forbidden to do so in public areas, even with Mechitzos as it is still considered “Derech Zenus” 

[101] Implication of Admur 639:9 and Rama 639:2 who rule that it is proper to build a Sukkah in which one can sleep with his wife; Taz 639:4; Elya Raba 639:8 in name of Sh’lah; Siddur Rav Shabsi; Birkeiy Yosef 639:3; Chayeh Adam 147:2; Ben Ish Chaiy Ha’azinu 9; Bikkureiy Yaakov 639:8 in name of Arizal; Kitzur SHU”A 135:2l; Aruch Hashulchan 639:4; M”B in Biur Halacha 639 “Vial”; See Kaf Hachaim 639:22; Nitei Gavriel 59:11

[102] Beis Dovid 444; Shach Al Hatorah Emor; Emes Leyaakov 7; Shut Rav Yosef Gigtalya 7; Orchos Chaim 639:10 in name of Ikkarei Hada’as 32:12 in name of Beis David ibid, brought in Kaf Hachaim ibid; Da’as Torah 639; Pischeiy Teshuvah 639:22

[103] See Michaber 151:1; Avnei Nezer O.C .32 regarding Tashmish in a room that is on top of a sanctuary; Mishnas Yosef 34:; Halichos Shlomo 19:3;  Piskeiy Teshuvos 151:6 and 8

[104] See Michaber 151:2; beis Yosef 151 in name of Mahariy Ben Chaviv; Nimukei Yosef Megillah 28a; Kaf Hachaim 151:26 that so applies according to all Poskim

[105] Implication of Michaber ibid, “Does not have so much holiness”; Levush 151:28 that nevertheless one should not be Meikel Rosh there too much; Kaf Hachaim 151:28; See also M”A 153:1 based on Michaber 90:18 who implies that it nevertheless has more Kedusha than a Shul and so rules Beir Heiytiv 154:1 in his understanding of the M”A and so rules Kesav Sofer O.C. 18 that it has the same status as a Shul; However, see Elya Raba 240:1 who writes that it does not have the same status as a Shul, and so rules P”M 154 A”A 1 and so is the main ruling, as rule majority of the Achronim. See Kaf Hachaim 154:2 and Halacha Berurah [Yosef] 154:1

[106] See Michaber 154:2; Piskeiy Teshuvos 154:2

[107] See Michaber 151:11; Piskeiy Teshuvos 151:21