This article is an excerpt from our Sefer
10. Baby on bed:[1]
One may not have intercourse on a bed that a baby is sleeping on, even if the child is less than a year old and is sleeping on the end of the bed. [Some Poskim[2] learn that this prohibition applies whether the child is asleep or awake. Other Poskim,[3] however, rule that it only applies if the child is asleep and does not apply if he is awake.]
The dangers of doing so:[4] One who does so can cause his child to have the Nichfeh [neurological] illness. [This danger applies to both the living child and a child who could be born from this union.]
Child is at the head of the bed:[5] If the child is by the head of the bed, then it is permitted to be done. [This applies whether the child is awake or asleep.[6] However, according to the Zohar, it is implied that it should not be done while the child is awake even if he is by the head of the bed.[7]]
Child is one year old:[8] If the child is more than one year of age, then there is no worry at all of the above issue, and intimacy is permitted even when the child is lying on the bed. [See previous Halacha regarding if the child is awake.[9]]
Placing hand on child:[10] Nonetheless, if one places his hand on the child [during the intercourse] then there is no need for worry.
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Summary: One may not have intercourse on a bed that a baby is on if the child is less than a year old, and is sleeping on the end of bed. However, if any of the following conditions are fulfilled, then it is permitted to be done: 1. The child is more than a year old. 2. According to some Poskim it does not apply if the baby is awake. 3. The child is by the head of the bed, whether awake or asleep. 4. One places his hand on the child [during the intercourse].
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[1] Michaber 240:16; Tur 240:16; Pesachim 112b; Menoras Hama’or Ner Gimel K’lal Vav 5:3; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:7; Kitzur SHU”A 150:16; Taharas Yisrael 240:87; Kaf Hachaim 240:92; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmonson-2015] p. 311-316
[2] Olas Tamid 240:7 based on Zohar Parshas Vayikra p. 119a that it applies even if the child is asleep, and certainly if he is awake; See Kaf Hachaim ibid who concludes that perhaps this matter of the Zohar is only Midas Chassidus; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 24:7 concludes to be stringent like this opinion;
Other opinions: See Miseches Kallah 1 that it applies specifically if the child is awake, and not when he is asleep.
[3] Elya Raba 240:24 in name of Aguddah on Pesachim ibid; See Kaf Hachaim ibid
[4] Michaber ibid; Pesachim ibid
[5] Michaber ibid; Pesachim ibid, “If he is by the head of the bed, it is permitted”
[6] Olas Tamid ibid
[7] Olas Tamid ibid based on Zohar Parshas Vayikra p. 119a; See Kaf Hachaim ibid which concludes that perhaps this matter of the Zohar is only Midas Chassidus
[8] Michaber ibid, “If he is one year old”; Pesachim ibid, “If he is one year old, it is permitted”
[9] Kav Hayashar 17:5
[10] Michaber ibid; Pesachim ibid
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