5. Lighting a candle:[1]

It is an old age custom to have a candle lit on the occasion of a Yahrzeit of a parent. People are very careful to abide by this custom. [One is to light a 24 hour candle immediately after sunset.[2] If possible, the candle should be of beeswax.[3] Each child of the deceased is to have a candle lit in their home.[4] The son [or daughter] of the deceased is to personally light the candle rather than delegate it to someone else.[5] Upon lighting the candle, one is to say that it is being lit “Leiluiy Nishmas Peloni [i.e. name of deceased] Ben Peloni [i.e. name of father of deceased].”[6] After the Yahrzeit concludes, we do not extinguish the candle, but rather let it go out on its own.[7] Some are accustomed to light a Yahrzeit candle also in Shul.[8]]

Lighting candles in Shul by Davening? See Halacha 7C!

When to light the candle if the Yahrzeit is on Shabbos or Yom Tov: See Halacha 14!

Benefiting from a Yahrzeit candle: From the letter of the law, it is permitted to benefit from a Yahrzeit candle.[9] Some Poskim[10] rule that this applies even if it is lit in Shul. However, the custom is to be stringent and not benefit from it.[11]

Two Yahrzeits:[12] One who has a Yahrzeit for both his father and mother on the same day, is to light two candles in their memory.

[1] Admur 261:2 “It is permitted to tell a gentile to light the candle of the day of death of one’s father or mother as the world is very careful in this”; M”A 261:6; Shut Rashal 46; Nachalas Shiva 38; Kesav Sofer 75; Kitzur SHU”A 221:1; Biur Halacha 514:5 “Neir”; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 16; Kaf Hachaim 514:79; Gesher Hachaim 32:4; Nitei Gavriel 71:6; chapter 75; Sefer Haminhagim p. 180

[2] Sefer Haminhagim p. 180 [English]

[3] Sefer Haminhagim p. 166; See Nitei Gavriel 75:8

[4] Nitei Gavriel 75:2 in name of Poskim

[5] Torah Leshma 520

[6] Torah Leshma 520

[7] Moed Lekol Chaiy 3; Nitei Gavriel 75:1; See Admur 610:8; Rama 610:4 regarding Yom Kippur candle

[8] See Shaareiy Teshuvah 154:20; M”B 154:56; Mishmeres Shalom Zayin 26; Nitei Gavriel 75:3-7

[9] Shaareiy Teshuvah 154:20; M”B 154:56

[10] Shaareiy Teshuvah and M”B ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to benefit from a Yahrzeit candle lit in the Shul, as it is considered like a candle of a Shul which is lit in its honor. [Kaf Hachaim 154:96]

[11] Kesav Sofer O.C. 65; Nitei Gavriel 75:9

[12] Nitei Gavriel 75:12