41st day and 81st day after birth

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9. 41st day and 81st day after birth:[1]

According to the Talmud, one is to abstain from intimacy on the 41st day after the birth of a boy, and the 81st day after the birth of a girl.[2] The Poskim[3] debate as to whether this applies today, practically, majority of Poskim rule that it is not necessary, and indeed it is no longer customary, to abstain from intimacy on the 41st day after the birth of a boy and the 81st day after the birth of a girl, assuming that she is Tahor during that time.[4] 

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[1] Taz Y.D. 194:2-3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:8

[2] Recorded in Tur 194

[3] See Taz ibid that according to Bahag it applies even today, as she then finishes her days of Dam Tohar and it is considered a Veses. However, majority of Poskim rule that its reason is to separate between the intercourse of Dam Tohar and Niddah blood, and hence, since today we no longer permit Dam Tohar, the stringency is irrelevant. 

[4] Taz 194:2 “For the above reason, the Shulchan Aruch did not record this ruling and no one suspects for it”; Taz 194:3 “There is no need to separate from intimacy on the 41st or 81st night at all, and those who say it’s required, they are a lone opinion, of whom we do not rule like at all.”; Teshuvas Rama 94, brought in Taz 194:3; Shiureiy Shevet Halevi 194:16 that so is the custom

Other opinions: Some Poskim conclude that a Ba’al Nefesh is to be stringent and abstain on the 41st day for a boy and 81st day for a girl. [Shach 194:4

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