3. Time of death:

The time between life and death is considered extremely sacred in Jewish tradition. On the one hand, the passage marks the conclusion of the soul’s journey on earth. On the other hand, death heralds the beginning of the soul’s eternal life in Heaven. Kabbalah teaches that at the moment of passing, every positive thought, word, or deed that occurred during the person’s life is concentrated into a pristine spiritual light. This light is revealed to the world and in the Heavenly spheres, where it continues to shine and influence those above and below.[1]

Being present by death-not to leave him alone:[2] A person is not to be allowed to pass away alone.[3] Therefore, when the people present see that death is imminent, they are to remain in the room until after the passing. It is a Mitzvah to be in proximity[4] to the person while his soul is leaving.[5] [Even if one has to Daven, and the time of prayer is passing, one is not to leave the room if he is the only one present who knows how to deal with the corpse after death.[6] The children and relatives of the person should especially be near him at the time of death.[7] A Kohen may not be in the room with the Goses at any time, especially upon death.[8] One may not desecrate Shabbos for the sake of being near the deceased.[9] It is best for the people present to have gone to Mikveh that day.[10] It is best that a Nidda not be present.[11]]

Learning Torah and saying Tehillim:[12] One who is present at the time that the ill person is nearing death, is to speak with him words of Torah in order so he deceases from this world to the next world with words of Torah. [It is proper to gather a Minyan of ten men to learn Torah and say Tehillim at the time of the passing. They are certainly not to talk words of vanity.[13] The people around the Goses are to repent.[14]]

Prayers to say when the Neshama is leaving the body:[15] Those who are present at the time of death are to say the following out loud as the soul leaves the body: 1) Shema Yisrael; 2) Baruch Sheim [three times silently]. 3) Hashem Hu Haelokim [seven times]. 4) Hashem Melech [one time].

Where to stand:[16] The people in the room are to stand around the Goses [at a comfortable distance[17]], but not opposite his feet.

Not to scream:[18] When the death is transpiring, one is not to scream or wail, [and is rather to remain calm].[19] [Those who are unable to withhold themselves are to leave the room.]

Lighting candles:[20] Candles are to be [inconspicuously] lit near the Goses as he approaches death.[21] [Some however light it only after the death.[22]]

Open windows when Neshama leaves:[23] Some are accustomed to open the windows at the time of death.[24] Others however do so only after the death.[25]

Not to touch corpse: One who closes the eyes of the Goses as the death is transpiring is considered to have murdered him.[26] The same applies for any touch or movement; one who does so is considered to have murdered him.[27] Therefore, one is to delay touching him until some time passes after the death.[28] [Practically, one is to delay touching or moving the corpse for at least 15 minutes after death.[29]]

Check if dead using feather:[30] One is to check if death has transpired through placing a feather near the nostrils of the victim, and if it stays there for quite some time without movement, it is a sign of death. [Today, when the passing commonly takes place in a hospital, with modern methods of monitoring death, there is no need to perform this.[31]]

No limb out of bed:[32] At the time of death, one is to be very careful that no limb of the person sticks out of the bed. [Thus, prior to death, one is to position items near the Goses, to prevent his limbs from extending past the bed. Nevertheless, in the event that he does stretch a limb beyond the bed, one is not to return it. One may however gently place a sheet over it, hence covering the extending limb.[33]]

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[1] Tanya Igeres Hakodesh 28

[2] Michaber 339:4; Kol Bo

[3] The reason: As when the soul departs from the body it is in a state of bewilderment and needs comfort of people in the room. [Taz 339:4; Kol Bo ibid, brought in Beir Hagoleh; Beis Lechem Yehuda 339]

[4] Literally “Lamod/To stand over”

[5] Rama ibid; Shiltei Giborim

The reason: As the verse [Tehillim 49:10-11] states “Vayechi Od Lanetzach Lo Yireh Hashachas. Ki Yireh Chachamim Yamusu.” [Rama ibid]

[6] Sefer Chassidim 742, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 339:4

[7] Nitei Gavriel 3:4 in name of Poskim

[8] See Halacha 1F!

[9] Nitei Gavriel 3:6 in name of Poskim

[10] Nitei Gavriel 3:9

[11] Nitei Gavriel 3:10

[12] Sefer Chassidim 448; Chochmas Adam 151:16 and 19; Kitzur SHU”A 194:4; Aruch Hashulchan 339:8; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 3:2 and 7 footnote 2 and 9

[13] Chochmas Adam and Kitzur SHU”A ibid

[14] Nitei Gavriel 3:11

[15] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Tzedek 25; Nitei Gavriel 3:15 footnote 25

[16] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Renanos 6; Nitei Gavriel 3:7

[17] Beis Hillel 339; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 3 footnote 19 and 3:16

[18] Sefer Chassidim 234, brought in Beis Lechem Yehuda 339

[19] The reason: As doing so can cause the soul to return to the body and suffer extra anguish. On this the verse in Koheles states “Es Lamaves/there is a time of death”, meaning to say that when a person reaches his time of death one should not try to elongate it, as even if he lives an extra few days, it will be a life of suffering. [Sefer Chassidim ibid]

[20] Kitzur SHU”A 194:4; Mavor Yabok Mamar Sefas Emes 15; Rebbe Rashab in Toras Shalom p. 206 regarding a Tzadik; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 3:12 footnote 17

[21] The reason: This is done in order to chase away any evil forces and out of respect of the Shechina who is found by the departing soul. [Mavor Yabok ibid] Likewise, a Tzadik attracts souls of Tzadikim in Gan Eden at the time of his death, who come down to escort him, and hence the candles are lit in their honor. [Rebbe Rashab ibid]

[22] See Nitei Gavriel 3:12 footnote 19 for those accustomed to light candles only after death

[23] See Nitei Gavriel 3:13; See there for a dispute if this should be done on Shabbos

[24] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Tzedek 26; Gesher Hachaim

The reason: This is done in order to give an opening for the soul to leave and allow evil forces to leave the room. [ibid]

[25] Kitzur SHU”A 194:5; Chochmas Adam 3; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 21

[26] Michaber 339:1; Mishneh Shabbos 151b

The reason: As perhaps he has just fainted and appears dead, and moving him will bring him to actual death. [Shach 339:5 in name of Rambam]

[27] Shach 339:5; Rif; Rambam; Miseches Semachos

The reason: As a Goses is like a withering candle which extinguishes as soon as it is touched. [ibid]

[28] Shach ibid

[29] Darkei Chesed p. 31; See Nitei Gavriel 6:3 footnote 6 for customs to wait a) 30 minutes [Jerusalem custom]; b) 20 minutes [Gesher Hachaim]; c) 15 minutes; d) Five minutes

[30] Chochmas Adam 151:18; Kitzur SHU”A 194:5; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 4:2 footnote 2

[31] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[32] Taz 339:4 in name of Rikanti Parshas Vayechi; Chochmas Adam 151:19; Kitzur 194:3; This was seen by Yaakov Avinu who gathered his feet by his bed.

[33] Nitei Gavriel 2:10-11