3. The Shabbos before the Yahrzeit:[1]

A. Leading the prayers:[2]

Some are accustomed to lead the prayers for Kabalas Shabbos on Friday night, including the recital of Kaddish, and Pesukei Dezimra of Shabbos day, on the Shabbos preceding the Yahrzeit.[3] The Chabad custom is not to be particular in this matter, although there is no prohibition to do so.[4]

Musaf:[5] Some are accustomed to lead the prayers of Musaf in Shul on the Shabbos prior to the Yahrzeit. Others are not particular in this matter.[6] Practically, the Chabad custom is not to be particular to do so.[7]

B. Kaddish:[8]

The Sephardic custom is to recite Kaddish on the Shabbos before the Yahrzeit, starting from Maariv of Friday night.[9] The Ashkenazi custom is to only say Kaddish on the day of the Yahrzeit. [If, however, one will for whatever reason not be able to say Kaddish on the day of the Yahrzeit, then it is to be said the Shabbos before.[10]]

C. Aliyah/Maftir:[11]

It is customary for one who has a Yahrzeit of a parent to receive the Aliyah of Maftir on the Shabbos prior to the Yahrzeit.[12] [This applies even if the Yahrzeit falls on a day of Torah reading, and even if it falls on, or after, a Yom Tov within that week.[13] The person is to prepare the Haftorah properly beforehand in order so he recite it accordingly.[14]]

Yahrzeit falls on Shabbos:[15] In the event that the Yahrzeit falls on Shabbos, he is to receive Maftir on that Shabbos and not on the Shabbos before. [If, however, it falls on a Yom Tov, he is to receive the Aliyah on the previous Shabbos, as stated above.]

Level of Chiyuv and precedence: If the Yahrzeit falls on Shabbos, then the person is considered a Chiyuv to receive an Aliyah, and follows the laws of precedence relevant to Chiyuvim of Aliyos.[16] Furthermore, even if the Yahrzeit falls during the week, it is customary to treat him like a Chiyuv.[17]

Yizkor/Hazkaras Neshamos:[18] It is no longer the widespread custom to say prayers for the deceased [i.e. Yizkor; Keil Malei Rachamim; Hashkava] on the Shabbos before the Yahrzeit. However, some are accustomed to do so. [It is not the Chabad custom to do so.]

Q&A Must the Gabbai give Maftir to one who has a Yahrzeit that week?[19] No. While it is proper and respectful to do so, a person with a Yahrzeit that week is not considered an actual Chiyuv that he has to receive the Aliyah of Maftir. Furthermore, even one who has a Yahrzeit on Shabbos, and is considered a Chiyuv, it is not an obligation to give him Maftir, even though it is proper to do so. It is thus permitted for the Gabbai to sell the Aliyah.[20]   Who receives precedence if both an Avel and a Yahrzeit are present?[21] A person with a Yahrzeit that week receives precedence over an Avel within the year, even if he is within Shloshim. Who receives precedence if there are two people present with a Yahrzeit?[22] The Yahrzeits are on different days of the weeks: Some Poskim[23] rule that the person whose Yahrzeit falls earlier in the week receives precedence. Thus, if one person’s parent Yahrzeit is on Sunday while the other’s is on Monday, the person with the Sunday Yahrzeit receives the Maftir. Other Poskim[24], however, rule there is no such law of precedence. Both Yahrzeits are on the same day of the week:[25] If both Yahrzeits are on the same day of the week, then a Yahrzeit of a father receives precedence over the Yahrzeit of a mother. If they both have a Yahrzeit for the same level parent, then a Torah scholar receives precedence. If they are both of equal stature, then a compromise is to be made. Yahrzeit on Shabbos versus Yahrzeit during the week: One who has a Yahrzeit that Shabbos receives precedence over one who has a Yahrzeit during the week.[26] Nevertheless, some Poskim[27] rule that this only applies if only one Aliyah is available. If, however Maftir and another Aliyah is available, then the person with a Yahrzeit that week is to receive Maftir while the one with a Yahrzeit that day is to receive the other available Aliyah. Not to quarrel:[28] One is not to quarrel over any Mitzvah, even if it is a Biblical command, and is certainly not to quarrel over the receiving of Maftir. Through avoiding dispute, one will cause a greater Iluiy Neshamah than even the Maftir itself.[29]

 

D. Kiddush:[30]

It is proper to hold a Kiddush in Shul on the Shabbos prior to the Yahrzeit.

E. Leading the Zimun:

Some are accustomed to lead the Zimun on the Shabbos before the Yahrzeit.[31] This however is not the Chabad custom.[32]

F. Motzei Shabbos:[33]

Maariv: Many are accustomed to lead the Maariv prayers on Motzie Shabbos before the Yahrzeit.[34] However, the Chabad custom, as well as the custom of others, is not to do so.[35]

Learning Mishnayos:[36] Some are accustomed to study the Mishnayos of Mikvaos on Motzei Shabbos prior to the Yahrzeit, after Havdalah.

 

Q&A Who receives precedence to be Chazan for Maariv of Motzei Shabbos; one with a Yahrzeit that week, or an Avel within 11 months of mourning?[37] The Avel within a year of mourning for his parents receives precedence, unless there is a set established custom otherwise.

___________________________________________

[1] See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 chapter 69; Seder Minhagei Yahrzeit Chabad [Heichal Menachem] p. 17

[2] See Chikrei Minhagim 4:122 for a lengthy discussion on this subject

[3] See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 69:2

[4] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Igros Kodesh 2:383

[5] See Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 69:1 footnote 1 in length that so is the custom of Galicia and a number of recent Sefarim bring this Minhag; Nevertheless, he records that many are not accustomed to do so, as it has no source in the earlier Poskim

[6] Darkei Chaim Veshalom 445; See Shaareiy Chaim on Shaareiy Ephraim 9:42; Footnote in Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]

[7] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Igros Kodesh 2:383; 20:236; Nitei Gavriel ibid

[8] Shalmei Tzibur p. 190; Kaf Hachaim 55:23; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 69:3

[9] The reason: As the soul has an Aliyah on every Shabbos prior to the Yahrzeit and the Kaddish propels its elevation. [Kaf Hachaim ibid]

[10] Dudaei Sadeh 23; Nitei Gavriel 69:16

[11] Birkeiy Yosef 284:1; Shaareiy Ephraim 9:42; Kitzur SHU”A 78:11; Kaf Hachaim 284:6; Ketzos Hashulchan 88:1; Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; See Rama 376:4 and Chapter 25 Halacha 7C regarding the first year of Aveilus; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9 and 284:1 footnote 8 and 12; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 69:6

Other customs: Some are accustomed to receiving one of the seven Aliyos on the Shabbos before the Yahrzeit. [See Nitei Gavriel ibid]

Child under Bar Mitzvah: See Nitei Gavriel 697 regarding giving a son Maftir on the Shabbos before his father’s Yahrzeit.

[12] The reason: As according to the Zohar the main elevation of the Neshamah occurs on the Shabbos before the Yahrzeit. [Alef Hamagen on Mateh Ephraim 3] the blessings of the Haftorah discuss the redemption of Klal Yisrael [Seder Hayom] and hence help elevate the Neshamah similar to Kaddish. [Pnei Baruch ibid footnote 32] Additionally, the congregation answers Amen to his blessings which also helps elevate the Neshamah similar to the Amen’s of Kaddish. [Nimukei Orach Chaim 284:3]

[13] Sefer Hasichos 5748 1:221; Nitei Gavriel 69:9-10; Piskeiy Teshuvos 136 footnote 86

[14] See Chesed Lealafim 134:25 regarding the need to be careful in the reading

[15] Sefer Haminhagim ibid; Shaareiy Ephraim 9:42; Darkei Chaim 34:12; Nimukei Orach Chaim 282; Darkei Chaim Veshalom 210; Gesher Hachaim 32:2; Orchos Rabbeinu in name of Chazon Ish; Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9 footnotes 81-82 and 284 footnote 13; Nitei Gavriel 69:8

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is to receive an Aliyah for Maftir on the preceding Shabbos even in such a case, and on the Shabbos of the Yahrzeit he is to get one of the seven Aliyos. [Nishmas Kol Chaiy Y.D. 72; Maaseh Avraham 56; Chasam Sofer 6:103; Orchos Chaim 282:15 in name of Rav Chaim Falagi; Koveitz Mibeis Levi 12; See Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9 footnotes 81-82 and 284 footnote 13; Nitei Gavriel 69:8]

[16] M”A 283:18; Levush 282; Biur Halacha 136; See M”A ibid and Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:5 for the order of precedence of Chiyuvim; See also Nitei Gavriel 74:9-11

[17] Poskim ibid; Kitzur SHU”A 78:11 lists day of Yahrzeit as Chiyuv number 8 while Shabbos before Yahrzeit as Chiyuv number 10; See Nitei Gavriel 69:5

[18] See Rama 284:7 and Admur 284:14 who mention this custom; Ketzos Hashulchan 83 footnote 12 writes the custom is no longer to do so within the first year but does remain to do so on the Shabbos before the Yahrzeit; However, other Poskim record that even this is no longer accustomed today. [See Nimukei Orach Chaim 284:2; Maharam Bris 2:52; Piskeiy Teshuvos 284:14; Nitei Gavriel 69:13 “Majority of places no longer do so”] However, see Igros Moshe 2:74 who mentions this custom as still being intact.

[19] Piskeiy Teshuvos 284:1; See M”A 282:18; Levush 282; Biur Halacha 136 “Shabbos” who all omit the Shabbos before a Yahrzeit as a Chiyuv

[20] Ketzos Hashulchan 88 footnote 4

[21] As is the law regarding Kaddish and leading the prayers, in which a Yahrzeit receives precedence; Az Nidbaru 2:72 that so is the custom even though receiving Maftir for an Avel is brought in the Rama while receiving Maftir for a Yahrzeit is only a custom; Piskeiy Teshuvos 284 footnote 8

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that an Avel within the 12 months receives precedence over a Yahrzeit regarding Maftir. [Maaseh Eliyahu 294, brought in Pnei Baruch 35 footnote 32]

[22] See Birkeiy Yosef 284:1; Shaareiy Ephraim 9:42; Kaf Hachaim 284:6; Ketzos Hashulchan 88 footnote 4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:9; Nitei Gavriel 69:11-12 and 74:2-11 for various scenarios of Kadima

[23] Moed Lekol Chaiy 8; Kaf Hachaim ibid

[24] Shaareiy Ephraim ibid; Nitei Gavriel 74:7

[25] Birkeiy Yosef 284:1; Shaareiy Ephraim 9:42; Kaf Hachaim 284:6

[26] Pashut, as one with a Yahrzeit on Shabbos is an actual Chiyuv, in contrast to one with a Yahrzeit that week, as brought in M”A 282:18 and Poskim ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

[27] Likkutei Teshuvos Minchas Yitzchak 12; Mishneh Halachos 4:153; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 136 footnote 82

The reason: As many hold that one with a Yahrzeit on Shabbos is to get one of the seven Aliyos and not Maftir and hence one with a Yahrzeit that week receives precedence of Maftir.

[28] Admur 53:29; M”A 53:26; Kaf Hachaim 284:6

[29] Kaf Hachaim ibid

[30] Toras Menachem 4:266 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:317]

[31] See regarding the year: Shvus Yaakov 1:102; Pischeiy Teshuvah 375:3 in name of Chinuch Beis Yehuda 91; Yosef Ometz p. 331; Sheilas Yaavetz 1:204; Kitzur SHU”A 204:4; M”B 201:1; Igros Kodesh 3:372 [published in Shulchan Menachem 5:306]; Pnei Baruch 35:18; Nitei Gavriel 65:15; 69:17 regarding Shabbos before Yahrzeit

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule there is no source or purpose in leading the Zimun past the Shiva, during the 12 months. [Sheilas Yaavetz ibid]

[32] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; See Igros Kodesh ibid that when the son is saying Kaddish he did not hear or receive a directive from the Rebbe Rayatz that one is to strive to lead the Zimun.

[33] Melaveh Malka: See Igros Kodesh 10:301 that although the Rebbe has not heard or seen the custom of making a special Melaveh Malka meal in honor of the deceased, on the Shabbos before the Yahrzeit, nonetheless it is a good thing to do if a Farbrengen will take place and they will speak words of Torah.

[34] Mishmeres Shalom Taf 38; Moed Lekol Chaiy 28; Maharam Brisk 1:118; See Shaareiy Chaim on Shaareiy Ephraim 9:42; Footnote in Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; See Nitei Gavriel 69:18

[35] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Nitei Gavriel 69:18 that the Chabad custom as well as the custom of some other Chassidic groups is not to do so; Mishnas Eliezer Tinyana 33; Pnei Baruch 39 in name of Rav Shmuel Salant and that so is Minhag Yerushalayim.

[36] See Editor in Siddur Tehilas Hashem in name of Sefer Maaseh Oreg of the Kumrana; Pnei Baruch 35:17; Nitei Gavriel 69:15

[37] Mishnas Eliezer Tinyana 33; Nitei Gavriel 69:20