3. How to eulogize:[1]

Making the crowd weep:[2] The Mitzvah of eulogizing is for one to raise his voice and say matters regarding the deceased that will break the heart, in order to instigate weeping from those present.

Praising the deceased: In addition to the above, the Mitzvah of eulogizing includes saying praise of the deceased. One is to mention the good character traits that he contained and slightly exaggerate his good qualities, although not too much.[3] If the deceased was a Sage and Chassid, then their righteousness and piety is to be mentioned. If the deceased did not contain any good character traits at all, then no eulogy is to be given. It is forbidden to over-exaggerate in praise of the deceased, or mention praise of matters that the deceased had no virtue in. One who does so causes evil to befall both himself and the deceased.[4]  

The topics of praise:[5] One is to praise the deceased regarding his learning of Torah, his piety, and even more so regarding his good character.

Not to show off orating skills:[6] Speaking in the presence of the deceased is only permitted out of respect for him, however, speech that is not said out of respect for the deceased is certainly forbidden. Therefore, those eulogizers who intend to impress the crowd with their oratory skills are certainly not doing the proper thing. Many Gedolim were particular on this matter.

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[1] Michaber 344:1

[2] Michaber 344:1; Brachos 6b “The reward of a Hesped is weeping” as explained in Rashi ibid

[3] The reason: It is permitted to slightly exaggerate the deeds of the deceased, as one can assume that if the opportunity arrived, he would have exerted himself slightly more in the Mitzvah than he is already known to have done, such as if he gave a donation of $1000, one can assume that if necessary he would have given $1100. This assumption makes it be considered as if he already did it, and it is thus not considered a lie. [Taz 344:1]

[4] The reason: As it is considered as if one his mentioning his sins, as he is mentioning good deeds that he did not perform. [Tur 344]

[5] Shach 344:11 in name of Bach

[6] Taz 344:5