2. Must one notify the relatives of the death:[1] 

There is no obligation to publicize the death of a person, even to the son or daughter of the deceased [even on the day of death, prior to the burial[2]]. On the contrary, one who publicizes such news, on him it says “Motzi Diba Hu Kesil.”

Aveilus does not begin until the relatives are notified:[3] The children and relatives of the deceased may even be invited to a wedding feast prior to them being told of the death, being that they do not know. [Likewise, a husband may be intimate with his wife who lost a relative prior to notifying her.[4] The above is all in reference to after the passing. However, prior to the passing, the children are to be told of their parents’ illness in order so they visit him prior to his passing.[5]]

Practical directive regarding notifying the children of deceased:[6] As stated above, there is no obligation to publicize the death of a person, even to the son or daughter of the deceased. Nevertheless, despite this ruling, the custom is to notify the male children of the deceased in order for them to say Kaddish, however regarding daughters, there is no custom to notify them. [Practically, the custom today is to inform all the children in order so they participate in the funeral.[7]]

Not to lie: See Chapter 2 Halacha 6!

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[1] 402:12; Based on story of Rebbe Chiya in Moed Katan, brought in Taz 402:8; See Nitei Gavriel Chapter 128

[2] Gilyon Maharsha 402

[3] Michaber ibid; See Reshimos 5 [printed in Toras Menachem Tziyon p. 25] that the Rebbe Rayatz Farbrenged and said a Mamar on Shabbos prior to being told of the passing of his mother

[4] Sefer Chassidim 800; Maharash Halevi Y.D. 27; Gilyon Maharsha 402; Chiddushie Hagirshuni

[5] See Sefer Chassidim 802; Mavor Yabok Sifsei Tzedek 5; Nitei Gavriel 128:1

[6] Rama ibid; Maryu 13; See Nitei Gavriel 128:5

Chol Hamoed and Purim: Some Poskim rule that if the death occurred on Chol Hamoed, it is forbidden to notify even the sons, as this will prevent them from fulfilling the Biblical command of Simchas Yom Tov. [Panim Meiros 2:191; Pischeiy Teshuvah 402:2; Birkeiy Yosef 402] The same applies with Purim. [ibid]

[7] See Sefer Chassidim 802; Mishnas Yaakov 3:402; Nitei Gavriel 128:9

[8] Nitei Gavriel 65:22 footnote 28; See Shut Rav Ezriel Hildsheimer 263