19. Mourning customs applicable on Motzei Tisha B’av-Tenth of Av:[1]

A. The general law:

[From the letter of the law] it is permitted for one to get a haircut and do laundry [and end all other mourning customs such as eating meat and wine[2]] immediately after the conclusion of the fast [of Tishe Beav].[3] Nonetheless, since the Heichal [Kodesh and Kodesh Hakedoshim] was set afire on the 9th towards evening, and it burnt until sunset of the 10th[4], it is therefore a good custom to avoid eating meat[5] and drinking wine [as well as to guard all the mourning customs of the nine days[6]] on the night and day of the 10th of Menachem Av.[7] [This custom is now obligatory.[8] Nonetheless, it is viewed more leniently than the period of the nine days, and hence by a Seudas Mitzvah anyone may be invited and partake in meat and wine.[9]]

Until when on the 10th are the above actions avoided? Some are stringent to avoid the above only until midday of the 10th of Av and not any further.[10] Others, however, are accustomed to avoid eating meat and drinking wine throughout the entire day of the 10th of Av, until the start of the 11th of Av.[11] [Practically, the widespread custom of Ashkenazi Jewry is to only keep the mourning customs until midday of the 10th.[12] Regarding Tisha B’av that falls on Shabbos, and is hence pushed off to Sunday, see next chapter!]

Tishe Beav that falls on Thursday:[13] When the day after Tishe Beav falls on Erev Shabbos, it is obvious that everything is permitted in honor of Shabbos.[14] [Thus, one may get a haircut, bathe, and wash clothing even prior to midday on Friday.[15] From some Poskim[16] it is implied that this allowance applies only after the arrival of Friday morning, and not to Thursday night. Other Poskim[17], however, rule that it may be done immediately at night after the fast. Practically, it is best to wait until Friday morning to do the above actions in honor of Shabbos, although in a time of need, one may be lenient from the night before.[18] Some Poskim[19] rule that the above leniency applies only to matters done in honor of Shabbos, and thus he may only take a bath prior to midday if this is his Shabbos bath, and may only do laundry to clothing that will be worn on Shabbos. Accordingly, it goes without saying that all other mourning customs that do not have any relevance to Shabbos remain forbidden until midday, including eating meat and drinking wine, listening to music and the like.[20]]

B. The actions which are customarily avoided on the 10th:

The following mourning customs apply until midday of the 10th:

1. Eating meat [or poultry, although fish is permitted].[21] [However, one may be lenient to eat a food that was cooked with meat.[22]]
2. Drinking wine.[23]
3. Bathing for pleasure.[24] [This means that we follow the same restrictions of bathing as of the nine days.[25]]
4. [26]
5. Laundry[27]
6. Wearing freshly laundered clothing.[28]
7. [29]
8. Buying new clothing.[30]

Marital relations:[31] It is proper to avoid marital relations on the night of the 10th of Av [Motzei Tisha B’av], unless it is the night of Mikveh, or one is traveling the next day or has arrived home after traveling [or he has a very strong inclination and may come to sin[32]].

Shehechiyanu:[33] One is to avoid saying Shehechiyanu over new fruits until the 11th of Av. [However, some are lenient to say Shehechiyanu even on the night of the 10th of Av, which is Motzei the 9th of Av.[34]]

Diminishing in delicacies:[35] Some Poskim[36] rule that in general one is to diminish in eating delicacies and all other foods on the night and day of the 10th, and he is to only eat enough to revive his soul. Other Poskim[37], however, negate this requirement, and so is the custom to not be stringent in this matter.

C. The mourning customs that apply when Tishe Beav falls on Thursday:

1. Eating meat [or poultry, although fish is permitted] may not be done until midday Friday.[38] [However, one may be lenient to eat a food that was cooked with meat.[39]]
2. Drinking wine may not be done until midday Friday.[40]
3. Bathing for pleasure may not be done until midday Friday, unless done Lekavod Shabbos.[41] [This means that we follow the same restrictions of bathing as of the nine days.[42]]
4. Haircuts may be done Lekavod Shabbos even prior to midday Friday.
5. Laundry may be done Lekavod Shabbos even prior to midday Friday.
6. Wearing freshly laundered clothing may be done Lekavod Shabbos even prior to midday Friday.[43]
7. Music may not be listened to until midday Friday.[44]
8. Buying new clothing may not be done until midday Friday.[45]

_______________________________________________

[1] See Michaber and Rama 558:1; Tur 558

[2] Rashal 94; Taz 551:5; M”B 551:36; Kaf Hachaim 551:74

[3] Michaber 551:4; Mishneh Taanis 29b

[4] Michaber ibid; Tur ibid in name of the Braisa in Taanis 29a “On the seventh of Av the gentiles entered the Heichal and ate and drank there and did abominable acts there on the 8^th and 9^th day, until close to dark when they set it aflame, and it burned until near sunset of the 10^th day”; See Braisa Taanis 29a that Rebbe Yochanan stated that if he lived in that generation, he would have set the date of Tisha B’av to the 10^th of Av; See also Yerushalmi that there were Amoraim who fasted also on the 10^th of Av. [Tur 558; Kaf Hachaim 558:1]

[5] Michaber ibid; Tur ibid “It is a Minhag Kosher to avoid meat…only to revive the soul, so he be near mortification”; Abudarham p. 253 in name of Rosh, brought in Beis Yosef 558, that the Rosh would not eat meat on the night of the 10^th; Hagahos Maimanis Taaniyos 5, brought in Beis Yosef ibid, that there are people who fast from eating meat until midday of the 10^th; Bach 558; Maharash Lurya 92; Maharil 125

[6] M”A 558:1 regarding music; M”A ibid and Bach 558 and Taz 558 in name of Rashal 92 regarding bathing, haircuts, and laundry; Levush 559:10; Elya Raba 559:31; Machazik Bracha 558:1; M”B 558:3; 551:37; Kaf Hachaim 551:76; 558:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 558:2 based on Mekor Chaim of Chavos Yair includes all matters kept during the nine days.

Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule that only meat and wine are forbidden. [Bach 558 and Taz 558:1 in name of Minhagim of Tirana; Mamar Mordechai, brought in Biur Halacha 558 “Ad”] See also Michaber 551:4 “It is permitted for one to get a haircut and do laundry immediately after the conclusion of the fast [of Tishe Beav].”

[7] Michaber ibid; Hagahos Maimanis Taaniyos 5, brought in Beis Yosef ibid, that there are people who fast from meat and wine until midday of the 10^th; Taz 558:1 that so is the custom for the last 40 years, although prior to this time they would eat meat on Motzei Tishe Beav

[8] Bach ibid; Taz ibid; Rashal 92

[9] M”A 558:1; P”M 558 A”A 1; Kaf Hachaim 558:5

[10] Rama 558:1 “Some are Machmir until midday and not any further”; Hagahos Maimanis Taaniyos 5, brought in Beis Yosef ibid; Taz ibid that this applies to all the avoidances recorded above

[11] Michaber ibid rules one is to continue the mourning customs of not eating meat or wine throughout the night and day of the 10^th of Av, which implies the entire day. [Elya Raba 558:2; Implication of Bach 558; Kaf Hachaim 558:10] Some Poskim conclude that it is proper for Torah scholars and G-d fearing Jews to be stringent in this matter, and that so is the custom. [Elya Raba ibid; Machazik Bracha 558:2; Shaareiy Teshuvah 558:2; Kaf Hachaim 558:10]

[12] Aruch Hashulchan 5582

[13] See Kaf Hachaim 558:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 558:4; Nitei Gavriel 88-89; Beis Aba 7

[14] M”A 558:1; Elya Raba 559:31; Sheilas Yaavetz 1:106, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 558:2; Derech Hachaim 4; P”M 558 A”A 1; Kitzur SHU”A 124:20; Aruch Hashulchan 558:2; Ashel Avraham Butchach 558; Moeid Lekol Chaiy 10; M”B 558:3; Kaf Hachaim 558:6; So rule the following Poskim regarding permitting slaughtering past midday of Tishe Beav if it falls on Thursday, due to preparation for Shabbos: Bach 558; Ateres Zekeinim 558; So rule the following Poskim regarding even Tishe Beav itself: Tosafus, brought in M”A 551:18, and Beis Yosef 551

[15] P”M 558 A”A 1; M”B ibid; Kaf Hachaim 558:6

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that it is best to delay a haircut until after midday, as is always done. [Hagahos Baruch Taam; Ashel Avraham of Butchach; See questioner in Sheilas Yaavetz ibid for Rabbanim who placed the people in Niduiy for cutting their hair before midday]

[16] Elya Zuta 558:2 regarding meat, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 558:2, that it is forbidden at night; Shaareiy Teshuvah 558:2 regarding the general allowance of M”A that it applies from morning; Kitzur SHU”A 124:20; Aruch Hashulchan 558:2 “The next day on Erev Shabbos”; Beir Moshe 7:79; Beis Aba 8 in length; See Sheilas Yaavetz ibid “The next day”; Nitei Gavriel 88:2 and 89:3 and in Teshuvah 20 regarding laundry; 89:5

[17] Possible implication of Siddur Yaavetz “It is permitted to get a haircut and launder clothing and bathe immediately” [however see Sheilas Yaavetz ibid “the next day it is for certain permitted”]; Gloss on Taz 551:14; Az Nidbaru 8:40; Even Yisrael 7:27; Lehoros Nasan 2:36; SSH”K 42:5; Rivivos Efraim 2:155; Mechzeh Eliyahu 86; Piskeiy Teshuvos 558:4

[18] SSH”K 42:52 regarding haircuts; Beir Moshe ibid; Nitei Gavriel 88:2 and 89:3 and in Teshuvah 20 regarding laundry; 89:5 regarding haircuts

[19] Az Nidbaru ibid; SSH”K ibid in name of Rav SZ”A; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; Nitei Gavriel 88:3 regarding when laundering at night; 89:6 regarding bathing; See Shevet Hakehasi 3:182 that one may nevertheless be lenient to add weekday clothing to the wash

Other opinions: From some Poskim it can be implied that one may be lenient in the above even if it is not done on behalf of Kavod Shabbos. [See Orchos Chaim 558:1 in name of Mur Veohalos 39 in a Kabbalah from Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchiv that even eating meat and wine is permitted; Mechzeh Eliyahu ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos 558 footnote 20; Nitei Gavriel 89:4 regarding laundry that one may launder all clothing; However, see Mur Veaholos inside who explains that the eating of meat on Erev Shabbos is an old custom, and hence there is no real proof from this tradition that one may be lenient by other non-Kavod Shabbos matters]

[20] Aruch Hashulchan 558:2 regarding meat “Unlike those who are mistaken in this”; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that one may be lenient in even eating meat, even it is not done on behalf of Kavod Shabbos. [See Orchos Chaim 558:1 in name of Mur Veohalos 39 in a Kabbalah from Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchiv regarding meat; Mechzeh Eliyahu ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos 558 footnote 20; Nitei Gavriel 89:8 regarding tasting the Shabbos food; However, Elya Zuta 558:2 regarding meat, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 558:2 that one may not be lenient the night before; However, see Mur Veaholos inside who explains that the eating of meat on Erev Shabbos is an old custom, and hence there is no real proof from this tradition that one may be lenient by other non-Kavod Shabbos matters]

[21] Michaber and Rama ibid; Tur ibid; Abudarham ibid in name of Rosh; Hagahos Maimanis ibid; Taz ibid

Other customs: Some are accustomed to avoid meat until after Shabbos Nachamu. Some Poskim rule that this is a Minhag Taus which does not need Hatras Nedarim. [Rashal 54, brought in Taz 551:5] Other Poskim rule that it is a real custom, and requires Hatras Nedarim to be revoked. [Bach 551:10; M”A 551:16; Taz 551:10]  See Elya Raba 551:45; P”M 551 A”A 16; Noda Beyehuda Tinyana 105; M”B 551:36; Kaf Hachaim 551:74-75

[22] Mamar Mordechai 558:1; Biur Halacha 558:1; Kaf Hachaim 558:4

[23] Michaber and Rama ibid; Hagahos Maimanis ibid; Taz 558:1

Other customs: Some are accustomed to avoid wine until after Shabbos Nachamu. Some Poskim rule that this is a Minhag Taus which does not need Hatras Nedarim. [Rashal 54, brought in Taz 551:5] Other Poskim rule that it is a real custom, and requires Hatras Nedarim to be revoked. [Bach 551:10; M”A 551:16; Taz 551:10]  See M”B 551:36; Kaf Hachaim 551:74

[24] M”A 558:1 in name of Rashal 92; M”B 558:3                                                             

Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule that only meat and wine are forbidden. [Bach 558 and Taz 558:1 in name of Minhagim of Tirana; Mamar Mordechai brought in Biur Halacha 558 “Ad”]

[25] Rashal ibid; Kaf Hachaim 558:6

[26] M”A 558:1 in name of Rashal 92; M”B 558:3; 551:37; Kaf Hachaim 551:76

Other Opinions-lenient: Some Poskim rule that only meat and wine are forbidden uon the 10^th. [Bach 558 and Taz 558:1 in name of Minhagim of Tirana; Mamar Mordechai brought in Biur Halacha 558 “Ad”] See also Michaber 551:4 “It is permitted for one to get a haircut and do laundry immediately after the conclusion of the fast [of Tishe Beav].” This, however, is only from the letter of the law, however, according to custom it is forbidden. [Kaf Hachaim 551:76]

Other opinions-stringent: Some are accustomed to avoiding eating meat and wine until after Shabbos Nachamu. Some Poskim rule that this is a Minhag Taus which does not need Hatras Nedarim. [Rashal 54, brought in Taz 551:5] Other Poskim rule that it is a real custom, and requires Hatras Nedarim to be revoked, and that according to this custom, they must also avoid getting haircuts until Thursday. [Bach 551:10; M”A 551:16; Taz 551:10]  See Shaareiy Teshuvah 551; Elya Raba 551:45; M”B 551:36; Kaf Hachaim 551:74

[27] M”A 558:1 in name of Rashal 92; M”B 558:3; 551:37; Kaf Hachaim 551:76

Other Opinions-leninet: Some Poskim rule that only meat and wine are forbidden. [Bach 558 and Taz 558:1 in name of Minhagim of Tirana; Mamar Mordechai brought in Biur Halacha 558 “Ad”] See also Michaber 551:4 “It is permitted for one to get a haircut and do laundry immediately after the conclusion of the fast [of Tishe Beav].” This, however, is only from the letter of the law, however, according to custom it is forbidden. [Kaf Hachaim 551:76]

Other opinions-stringent: Some are accustomed to avoiding eating meat and wine until after Shabbos Nachamu. Some Poskim rule that this is a Minhag Taus which does not need Hatras Nedarim. [Rashal 54, brought in Taz 551:5] Other Poskim rule that it is a real custom, and requires Hatras Nedarim to be revoked, and that according to this custom, they must also avoid doingv laundry until Thursday. [Bach 551:10; M”A 551:16; Taz 551:10]  See Shaareiy Teshuvah 551; Elya Raba 551:45; M”B 551:36; Kaf Hachaim 551:74

[28] Nitei Gavriel 89:2; Piskeiy Teshuvos 558:2 based on Mekor Chaim of Chavos Yair includes all matters kept during the nine days.

[29] M”A 558:1; M”B 558:3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 558:2

Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule that only meat and wine are forbidden. [Mamar Mordechai brought in Biur Halacha 558 “Ad”]

[30] Piskeiy Teshuvos 558:2 based on Mekor Chaim of Chavos Yair includes all matters kept during the nine days.

[31] M”A 558:3 in name of Kneses Hagedola 558 that one who guards his soul is to distance himself from this; M”B 558:2; Kaf Hachaim 558:7

[32] Kaf Hachaim 558:7

[33] Machazik Bracha 558:3; Yosef Ometz 56; Shaareiy Teshuvah 558:2; Kaf Hachaim 551:208 and 558:8; Hisorerus Teshuvah 3:21

[34] Ashel Avraham of Butchach 558; Daas Torah 558

[35] See Kaf Hachaim 558:2

[36] Bach 558:1 in intrepertation of Tur 558; Ateres Zekeinim 558 in name of Tur; Kneses Hagedola 558

[37] Setimas Michaber and Rama who omit this ruling; Taz 558:1 in his interpretation of Michaber and Tur ibid that by food other than meat there is no need to diminish, as there is no joy in any food other than meat; Elya Raba 558:1

[38] Michaber and Rama ibid; Tur ibid; Abudarham ibid in name of Rosh; Hagahos Maimanis ibid; Taz ibid

Other customs: Some are accustomed to avoid meat until after Shabbos Nachamu. Some Poskim rule that this is a Minhag Taus which does not need Hatras Nedarim. [Rashal 54, brought in Taz 551:5] Other Poskim rule that it is a real custom, and requires Hatras Nedarim to be revoked. [Bach 551:10; M”A 551:16; Taz 551:10]  See Elya Raba 551:45; P”M 551 A”A 16; Noda Beyehuda Tinyana 105; M”B 551:36; Kaf Hachaim 551:74-75

[39] Mamar Mordechai 558:1; Biur Halacha 558:1; Kaf Hachaim 558:4

[40] Michaber and Rama ibid; Hagahos Maimanis ibid; Taz 558:1

Other customs: Some are accustomed to avoid wine until after Shabbos Nachamu. Some Poskim rule that this is a Minhag Taus which does not need Hatras Nedarim. [Rashal 54, brought in Taz 551:5] Other Poskim rule that it is a real custom, and requires Hatras Nedarim to be revoked. [Bach 551:10; M”A 551:16; Taz 551:10]  See M”B 551:36; Kaf Hachaim 551:74

[41] M”A 558:1 in name of Rashal 92; M”B 558:3                                                             

Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule that only meat and wine are forbidden. [Bach 558 and Taz 558:1 in name of Minhagim of Tirana; Mamar Mordechai brought in Biur Halacha 558 “Ad”]

[42] Rashal ibid; Kaf Hachaim 558:6

[43] Nitei Gavriel 89:2; Piskeiy Teshuvos 558:2 based on Mekor Chaim of Chavos Yair includes all matters kept during the nine days.

[44] M”A 558:1; M”B 558:3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 558:2

Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule that only meat and wine are forbidden. [Mamar Mordechai brought in Biur Halacha 558 “Ad”]

[45] Piskeiy Teshuvos 558:2 based on Mekor Chaim of Chavos Yair includes all matters kept during the nine days.

[46] Piskeiy Teshuvos 558:2 based on ruling of Mamar Mordechai that the prohibition only applies to meat and wine, and in a time of great need one may rely on their opinion.

[47] See M”A 558:1; P”M 558 A”A 1; M”B ibid; Kaf Hachaim 558:6; Orchos Chaim 558:1

[48] As cutting nails is only forbidden the week of Tisha B’av, and from where do we know that the night after Tisha B’av is as strict as the week off Tisha B’av. Vetzaruch Iyun. It is not mentioned in the list of Issurim brought in M”B,

[49] See M”A 558:1; P”M 558 A”A 1; M”B ibid; Kaf Hachaim 558:6; Orchos Chaim 558:1

[50] M”A 558:1 in name of Rashal 92; M”B 558:3                                                             

Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule that only meat and wine are forbidden. [Bach 558 and Taz 558:1 in name of Minhagim of Tirana; Mamar Mordechai brought in Biur Halacha 558 “Ad”]