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Chapter 3: Aninus-The laws of an Onen

 

Introduction:

After the passing of a relative for whom one must mourn, one enters into a state of Aninus, and is called an Onen. The word Onen comes from the word pain[1] and is another term for the word Aveilus/mourning.[2] In Halacha however, it refers to a specific state of mourning that carries from after the death up until the burial, but not afterwards. During this period of Aninus, the mourners are restricted from performing various actions, including Mitzvos, prayer, and certain Halachic obligations. This stage ends with the burial of the deceased, in which case the Onen then transfers to the state of Avel, beginning with the laws of Shiva, and then Shloshim.

 

Biblical or Rabbinical?[3]

Biblically, the relatives of the deceased are in a state of Aninus during the day of death [even after burial] and are forbidden from eating Kodshim, Bikkurim and Maaser Sheiyni. However, all other matters are Biblically permitted even on the first day, and all matters become permitted on the second day and onwards [irrelevant of whether burial already took place]. According to majority of Rishonim, the night that follows the day of death is not considered part of the Biblical day of Aninus.[4] Nevertheless, Rabbinically, an Onen is restricted from performing various other actions to be explained and he retains his status until the burial, even if many days pass.

Does the rule of “following the lenient opinion by mourning” apply also by the stage of Aninus?[5]

No. The above rule is limited to the specific laws of mourning, however, in the laws of Aninus, which precedes the start of Shiva, we do not apply this rule of following the lenient opinion.

The reason for the Aninus restrictions:[6]

The Aninus restrictions were placed out of respect for the dead, as the Sages required that one’s mind be free to think of the needs of the deceased, and that he should constantly think of them.

 

First reaction:[7]

Upon discovering the death of a relative for whom one becomes an Onen, one is to immediately set forth to arrange the funeral/burial of the deceased. One is not to show any signs of lightheadedness or frivolity during this time.

Comforting the Onen:[8]

One is not to comfort an Onen until after the burial, and one is not to speak to him of matters that do not relate to the corpse.

 

 

 1. Which relatives become an Onen?[9]

After the passing of a relative for whom one must mourn, prior to the burial, one enters a state of Aninus, and is called an Onen to which all the laws mentioned in this chapter apply. [This includes the following relatives: Father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, wife.[10] See Chapter 12 for the full details of this matter! The laws of Aninus apply equally to men and women.]

Students of Rebbe: If one’s Rebbe from whom one learned [majority[11]] of his wisdom passes away, he is to keep the [mourning] laws of Aninus, although he is to recite blessings and make a Zimun [and is obligated in all Mitzvos[12]].[13] The student may not eat meat or drink wine after the passing of his main Rebbe, so long as the body is in his presence.[14] Some[15] rule it is proper for the student to avoid eating meat and wine until after the burial.

Children:[16] Children who are below the age of Bar and Bas Mitzvah do not keep any laws of Aninus, as is the law regarding Aveilus. See Chapter 12 Halacha 1B! If the child is a son of the deceased, he is to go to Shul and recite Kaddish even before the burial.

Chasan and Kallah:[17] A Chasan and Kallah do not keep the laws of Aninus during Sheva Brachos.

 

 

Q&A

Do the relatives of a child who passed away under 30 days old enter into a state of Aninus prior to burial?

Some Poskim[18] rule the relatives do not have the status of an Onen.[19] Other Poskim[20] however leave this matter in question.[21] Practically, the relatives are obligated to fulfill the Mitzvos, but are not to eat meat, drink wine, or have marital relations until the burial.[22]

 

If one committed suicide r”l, are the mourners to keep the laws of Aninus prior to the burial?

See Chapter 12 Halacha 8!

 

2. When does Aninus apply, begin, and end?

*Important note regarding beginning Shiva: Regarding whether the start of Shiva is dependent on the end of Aninus, it is clear from the Poskim[23] that while the laws of Aninus always ends before one begins Shiva, it is possible to have a limbo period where Aninus has ended, but Shiva has not yet begun.[24] Hence, whenever it is stated in this Halacha that there is no status of Aninus, it does not necessarily mean that they begin Shiva. In general, Shiva is only begun after the burial irrelevant of one’s Aninus status, with some exception, as explained in the Q&A below. See Chapter 13 Halacha 4-7 for the full details relating to the start of Shiva, and those cases where it begins even prior to burial.

A. General rule-The beginning and end:

The period of Aninus begins after [discovering] the passing of the relative and continues until after the burial [even if many days pass[25]].[26] After the burial, the laws of Aninus are lifted and the laws of Shiva begin to apply. This applies even if the burial occurred on the same day as the passing.[27] [Nevertheless, in certain cases, the laws of Aninus end even prior to burial, as will be explained.] As soon as they begin to throw the earth onto the body, the laws of Aninus end.[28]

Applies even not in the presence of the corpse:[29] The laws of Aninus apply even when one is not located together with the corpse, so long as it is still prior to burial.

Informed of death on Shabbos or Yom Tov:[30] If one became informed of the death of a relative on Shabbos or Yom Tov, then he is to practice all the laws of Onen relevant to Shabbos as explained in Halacha 22.

B. “Masruha Likatafim/מסרוה לכתפים”-The law in a case that another person is dealing with the burial arrangements:

Some Poskim[31] rule that the relatives who must mourn the deceased, enter into the state of Aninus even if the responsibility of burial is not on their shoulders, such as if one’s married sister passes away, in which case the burial arrangements is the responsibility and obligation of the husband. The same applies if the mourner delegated another person to deal with all the burial related matters, and even if all the preparations for burial have already been completed, nevertheless the laws of Aninus apply until burial.[32] However, other Poskim[33] rule that if there is someone delegated to deal with all the burial needs then certain laws of Aninus[34] do not apply to the relatives. According to this latter opinion, those areas that have a Chevra Kadisha that deal with the needs of the corpse and bury him, then after the relatives have performed all that is dependent on them, and have handed the remaining responsibilities to the Chevra Kadisha, then they may eat meat/wine even prior to the start of the funeral and subsequent start of mourning.[35] [They are certainly obligated in Mitzvos[36], with exception to Tefillin[37], although they remain subject to the other Aninus restrictions, such as the prohibition of marital relations, Torah learning, bathing, joy, and Sheilas Shalom.[38] However, he may leave his home and sit on a chair.[39]] Practically, the custom is like the first opinion, for the relatives to retain the full status of an Onen even if the Chevra Kadisha has taken over the work of burial.[40]

C. The law if the burial is taking place in another city or country:

If relative is in different city than deceased: Some Poskim[41] rule the relatives enter into the state of Aninus if they became aware of the death prior to burial, even if they are in a different city than the deceased, and even if other people are dealing with the burial arrangements.[42] However, some Poskim[43] rule that if there is someone else delegated to deal with all the burial needs, and certainly if the relative is in a different city and is thus unable to deal with the burial arrangements[44], then the laws of Aninus do not apply to that relative [and they rather follow the status brought in the previous Halacha].[45] Practically, the custom is like the first opinion to retain the full status of an Onen even if one is in a different city, and the Chevra Kadisha has taken over the work of burial.[46] [See Q&A regarding if one does not intend to participate in the funeral/burial.]

If deceased is being brought to another city for burial: Some Poskim[47] rule that in all cases that the corpse is being transferred to another city for burial, then if it is a two-day journey or more, the laws of Aninus do not apply until the corpse arrives to his city of burial. [Practically, from Admur[48] it is implied that one keeps the laws of Aninus from the time of death even in such a case, no matter how many days will pass during travel. Likewise, it is rare today in modern times of air travel, and direct flight options, for any destination to be a two-day travel.]

D. Unable to bury the corpse:

Corpse is not able to be buried:[49] If the deceased is unable to be buried, such as he passed away in prison, or died during travel, or was eaten by an animal, or drowned in a river [and the body cannot be retrieved] then so long as the relatives have not given up hope on retrieving the body, the relatives are not obligated in Aninus or Aveilus.[50] [They are even permitted in marital relations.[51]] The moment the relatives have given up hope in ever retrieving the body for burial, they are to immediately begin sitting Shiva and Shloshim from that day.[52]

Relative is unable to bury corpse:[53] If a relative is unable to bury the corpse, such as if he is in jail, then he does not have the status of an Onen. [The same applies if one is old, or sick, and is hence unable to help with the burial arrangements of the corpse.[54]]

 

Summary:

The Aninus period begins with the discovery of the death of the relative and ends only after burial. This applies even if the relative is in a different city than the deceased, and even if the responsibilities of burial have already been handed over to others, [and even if several days will pass between the death and burial]. If, however, he is in a different city and does not plan to attend the funeral/burial-see Q&A. If it is not possible to bury the corpse, there is no state of Aninus and as soon as one gives up hope in ever being able to bury it, he is to begin the Shiva period right away.

Q&A

If one plans to attend the funeral but does not plan to attend the burial, is he considered an Onen and when does he begin sitting Shiva?

Ø  Example: One’s relative passed away in New York and is being buried in Eretz Yisrael. If there is a relative in New York who will not be traveling to Eretz Yisrael for the burial, when is he to end Aninus and begin Shiva?

Any relative who is in New York and will not be traveling to Eretz Yisrael for the burial, is to begin Shiva as soon as the flight which is carrying the coffin takes off from New York, or as soon as the relative leaves the New York funeral and returns home, unless the Halachic status of Gadol Habayis is applicable.[55] See Chapter 13 Halacha 7B for the full details of this matter!

 

If one does not plan to attend the funeral/burial and others are dealing with the burial needs, is he considered an Onen and when does he begin sitting Shiva?[56]

Ø  Example: One’s relative passed away in Eretz Yisrael and is being buried there. If there is a relative in New York who will not be traveling to Eretz Yisrael for the funeral or burial, when does his Aninus end and his Shiva begin?

Some Poskim[57] rule the relatives enter into the state of Aninus even if they are in a different city than the deceased and do not plan to attend the burial, and even if other people are dealing with the burial arrangements. Their state of Aninus continues until they are informed of the completion of the burial, at which time they begin Shiva. Other Poskim[58], however, rule that if one will not be attending the funeral/burial, and all of the responsibilities of burial have been handed to others, such as the Chevra Kadisha, then the laws of Aninus do not apply.[59] [Practically, the Poskim[60] rule that the mourner does not enter into Aninus, and is to immediately begin Shiva even prior to the burial, and count the seven days of Shiva from the time of discovery of death and decision to not travel to the funeral.]

If he will attend the funeral/burial: If he is out of town and plans to attend the funeral, and is not involved at all in the Levaya preparations, it is disputed in Poskim as to whether the person has a status of an Onen prior to arriving to the city of the funeral, as stated above, and the final custom is that he has the status of an Onen. See above!

If is in same city but will not attend the burial:[61] If a relative will not be attending the funeral/burial, despite it being in the same city, he/she remains an Onen until after the burial. See Chapter 13 Halacha 7A for the full details of when the Shiva begins in such a case!

 

 

3. Keriah: 

The Keriah is not done after hearing of the death but rather only prior to the start of the funeral [i.e. prior to the corpse being removed from the funeral home or house]. See Chapter 6 Halacha 1C for the full details of this subject

 

4. Going to Shul for Kaddish:

A son who is an Onen over the passing of his father or mother is to go to Shul, by every opportunity, in order to say Kaddish on their behalf, even though it is still prior to the funeral, as explained in Halacha 8C, see there in length! He, however, does not Daven or answer Amen to any blessing as explained in Halacha 8D!

5. Changing seat in Shul:[62]

An Onen is required to change his seat in Shul even though he is prior to the start of Shiva. [Nevertheless, many Chabad Chassidim are accustomed not to change their seating area on Shabbos, as rules the first opinion above. The custom of Russian Jewry [including Chabad] was not to switch areas. During the week, however, one is to switch seating areas in Shul, unless stated otherwise by one’s Rav. See Chapter 19 Halacha 18 for the full details of this subject!]

6. Cover mirrors and pictures:

Some[63] write that an Onen is to cover the mirrors [and pictures] as soon as he hears of the death, and they are to remain covered until the end of Shiva. Some[64] write that they are to remain covered even over Shabbos. See Chapter 15 Halacha 2 for the full details of this subject!

7. The restrictions of an Onen:

The Onen is restricted from performing various actions, some of which continue to be forbidden throughout the mourning period of Shiva and Shloshim, and others that are applicable only during the period of Aninus, and end immediately after he enters into the state of Aveilus of Shiva. Below will be brought all the restrictions relevant to an Onen, although only those restrictions that are unique to an Onen will be elaborated on in this section. Those restrictions that also continue to apply during Shiva are discussed in length in chapter 19 which deals with the laws of Shiva, and one is to refer to that chapter for further details of the restriction listed here.

The forbidden activities:

  1. An Onen is exempt from all positive commands in Torah, including Tefillin.
  2. An Onen is exempt from all prayers and blessing.
  3. Engaging in work or business.
  4. Showering or bathing.
  5. Using cosmetics, lotions, oils, and perfumes.
  6. Having marital relations.
  7. Attending a joyous event.
  8. Greeting people.
  9. Cutting nails, hair, or shaving.
  10. Wearing freshly laundered clothing, or new clothing.
  11. Eating a regular meal at a table.
  12. Eating meat or drinking wine.

8. Doing Mitzvos/Learning Torah/Davening/Blessings:

A. Mitzvos; Tefillin:

Positive commands:[65] An Onen is exempt from fulfilling any of the positive commands in the Torah.[66] Furthermore, even if the Onen desires to be stringent upon himself and fulfill the command, it is Rabbinically forbidden for him to do so.[67]

Negative commands: An Onen is obligated to guard all negative commands.[68] This applies whether the negative commands are Biblical or Rabbinical.[69]

Tefillin:[70] It is forbidden for an Onen to wear Tefillin throughout his Aninus period. [Furthermore, even if one is not Halachically defined as an Onen prior to the burial[71], he may not wear Tefillin prior to beginning the Shiva.[72]

 

Q&A

Is an Onen to wear Tzitzis?[73]

An Onen is to wear a Tallis Katan without a blessing.

 

Is an Onen obligated in the Mitzvah of Mezuzah? Must he replace a Mezuzah that fell?[74]

An Onen is exempt from the Mitzvah of Mezuzah, and hence if the Mezuzah of his door fell, he is not obligated to replace it. Nonetheless, the other family members who are not within the status of an Onen are obligated to return it.

 

Is an Onen obligated to perform Bedikas Chameitz?

An Onen is exempt from checking for Chametz and is thus to have another person do so for him.[75] He is to acquire his Chametz to another Jew, and that Jew is to consequently search the house for Chametz with a blessing.[76]

 

Is an Onen obligated to burn the Chametz on Erev Pesach?

Some Poskim[77] rule an Onen is not obligated in destroying his Chametz before Pesach. Other Poskim[78] however rule he is obligated to do so.

 

Is an Onen obligated to recite Sefiras Haomer?[79]

An Onen is exempt from Sefiras Haomer until after the burial.[80] Nevertheless, if not counting will cause him to lose the ability to say a blessing on the coming nights [i.e. he is an Onen for a couple of days], he is to count without a blessing during his Aninus, and may then continue to count with a blessing on the later nights after the burial.

If the burial will take place during the day: In the event that one became an Onen at night, prior to counting Sefira, and the burial will only be taking place the next day, some Poskim[81] rule he is not to count at night, but is rather to count the next day, after the burial, without a blessing. [Seemingly however, in such a situation, it is best to count at night without a blessing, and then count again the next day, after the burial, without a blessing. [82]]

 

May an Onen recite Kiddush Levana?

No. If, however, this is the last opportunity to sanctify the moon, some Poskim[83] rule it is permitted to do so if the Onen gave over the funeral preparations to the Chevra Kadisha.[84] However, other Poskim[85] rule it is forbidden to say it even if this is the last opportunity. Practically, the custom follows the latter opinion.[86] Nonetheless, one who desires to be stringent upon himself to say it is to contact a Rav.[87] See Chapter 18 Halacha 8 regarding Kiddush Levana!

 

 

 

B. Davening:

Shema and Davening:[88] The Onen is exempt from reading the Shema [in morning or evening[89]] and is exempt from Davening. Furthermore, even if the Onen desires to be stringent upon himself and read Shema, it is Rabbinically forbidden for him to do so.[90]

Minyan:[91] An Onen is unable to join a Minyan for its count of ten men, and hence there needs to be ten men in addition to the Onen for a Minyan to be held. [Seemingly, however, according to the Chabad custom for the son to recite Kaddish during Aninus, the son of the deceased can count for a Minyan for the saying of Kaddish.[92] During the times that Aninus is suspended, or nullified, prior to burial, such as on Shabbos, the Onen joins the Minyan.[93]]

 

Q&A

If one discovered the death while in the midst of Shema, or Shemoneh Esrei, or Birchas Hamazon, is he to finish the prayer?

Some Poskim[94] rule he is to finish the prayer. Other Poskim[95] however rule that in Shemoneh Esrei, or Birchas Hamazon, he is to finish that blessing, and then stop and not continue any further. Other Poskim[96] rule he is to stop and not conclude even that blessing. Practically, one may choose to follow either opinion.[97] If he is holding prior to Shemoneh Esrei, he is not to begin the prayer.[98] If he is holding in the midst of Pesukei Dezimra, he is to read until after Yishtabach.[99]

 

Should a relative be told of the death if he has not yet Davened?[100] 

If there are other relatives that are dealing with the burial needs, it is better to wait until after he Davens to inform him. [If, however, he is a son of the deceased and will be saying Kaddish, seemingly he is to be informed immediately.[101]]

 

May an Onen who has a Yahrzeit for a parent during his state of Aninus, Daven and say Kaddish?

It is permitted for him to say Kaddish.[102] He however is not allowed to Daven.[103]

 

Saying Tehillim:

It is permitted for people to read Tehillim near the corpse.[104]  Tehillim may be read even at night, prior to midnight.[105] Some Poskim[106] rule it is even permitted for the Onen to recite Tehillim on behalf of the deceased while he is in the presence of the deceased and acting as a Shomer. Other Poskim[107], however, rule it is forbidden for the Onen to recite Tehillim.

 

 

C. Reciting Kaddish:[108]

A son who is an Onen after the passing of his father [or mother[109]] may go to Shul and say Kaddish on behalf of his father [or mother].[110] [Practically, so is the Chabad custom.[111] The Rebbe said Kaddish while he was an Onen for his mother, Rebbetzin Chana, and his wife, Rebbetzin Chayah Mushka.[112] He is to go to Shul and recite Kaddish Yasom and Kaddish Derabanon, although is not allowed to pray, or answer Amen, while in a state of Aninus.[113]] A son is to be informed immediately upon the passing of a parent in order so he can begin saying Kaddish.[114]

 

D. Blessings:

The Onen does not recite the blessing of Hamotzi prior to eating bread and does not recite Birchas Hamazon after eating bread.[115] He is likewise exempt from reciting all blessings.[116] [He thus does not say a before or after blessing upon eating food.]

Answering Amen:[117] The Onen is exempt from answering Amen to any blessing. Furthermore, even if the Onen desires to be stringent upon himself and answer Amen, it is Rabbinically forbidden for him to do so.[118] [Likewise, it is forbidden for others to answer Amen to his blessings if he transgressed and recited a blessing in his state of Aninus.[119]]

Birchas Hashachar: As stated above, the Onen is exempt from all blessings, including all of Birchas Hashachar. [See Halacha 24A regarding when this exemption applies even after the burial.] The Onen is likewise exempt from reciting Birchas Hatorah, and may learn the permitted parts of Torah without saying the blessing.

Tefilas Haderech:[120] An Onen is exempt from reciting Tefilas Haderech upon travel. [Some Poskim[121] however rule an Onen may recite Tefilas Haderech upon travel, in order to protect him on the road.]

Asher Yatzar:[122] An Onen does not recite Asher Yatzar after using the bathroom.

Baruch Dayan Haemes: The blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes is recited by an Onen, as explained in chapter 6 Halacha 2!

Shehechiyanu & Hatov Vihameitiv: The blessing of Shehechiyanu and Hatov Vihameitiv may be recited by an Onen in the event that he received an inheritance from the deceased relative, as explained in chapter 6 Halacha 2! Likewise, an Onen may recite the blessing of Shehechiyanu on Shabbos or Yom Tov, such as on a new fruit, or a Mitzvah, as explained in Chapter 18 Halacha 10.[123]

                                                      

Q&A

If one ate prior to the burial, is he to say an after blessing after the burial?

See Halacha 24A!

 

Is the Onen to say the blessing said upon seeing a cemetery at the time of the burial?[124]

No. The blessing is not recited by the Onen at all, neither before nor after the burial.[125]

 

May an Onen recite Birchas Hachamah?[126]

No.

 

May an Onen recite the blessing over thunder or lightning?[127]

No.

 

May an Onen recite the blessing of Sheasah Li Neis Bamakom Hazeh upon passing by an area where a miracle occurred to him?[128]

Yes.

 

E. Zimun:[129]

An Onen who ate a meal together with non-mourners, cannot join them for a Zimun when they recite Birchas Hamazon.

F. Washing hands:

Washing hands upon awakening in the morning:[130] The Onen is to wash his hands in the morning after awakening in the normal fashion. Nevertheless, a blessing is not recited over this washing.

Prior to eating bread:[131] The Onen is to wash his hands prior to eating bread in the normal fashion.[132] Nevertheless, a blessing is not recited over this washing.

Mayim Achronim:[133] After concluding a meal that contains bread, the Onen is to wash his hands for Mayim Achronim in the normal fashion, [although without reciting any of the verses of Birchas Hamazon].

After bathroom:[134] After using the bathroom, the Onen is to wash his hands in the normal fashion, [although without reciting Asher Yatzar].

G. Learning Torah:

Learning Torah:[135] An Onen may not learn Torah, just as is the law by a mourner during Shiva. [See Chapter 19 Halacha 15 for further details on this matter, and as to what sections of Torah are forbidden. An Onen may study the laws of Aninus and mourning, and other permitted subjects, even though he did not recite the blessing over Torah study.[136] The Onen is not to delve too deeply into the laws, and is only to study that which is necessary for him to know the laws of what to do.[137] The Onen is not to learn even the permitted sections of Torah in a way that delays him from dealing with the needs of the corpse.[138]]

Hesped:[139] It is permitted for an Onen to recite a eulogy on behalf of the deceased. He may include words of Torah in his eulogy.

 

H. Aliyah:[140]

An Onen may not be called to the Torah even on Shabbos, just as is the law by a mourner during Shiva. [See Chapter 18 Halacha 5C for further details on this matter.]

 

 

9. Eating restrictions:[141]

A. Eating in the same room as the deceased:[142]

It is forbidden for an Onen to eat in the same room as the corpse.[143] This applies even on Shabbos [and Yom Tov].[144] It is however permitted to eat in the same house as the corpse, if the corpse is not present in that room.[145] [Thus, when being a Shomer for the deceased, or when staying with the deceased relative in the room after he passed away, one must be careful not to eat anything in that room. If he desires to eat or drink, he is to enter another room. This prohibition applies even to a mere snack, or drink of water, although some are lenient.[146]]

Nowhere else to eat: If the Onen does not have any other area to eat and cannot eat in a friend’s home[147], he is to make a Mechitza/divider between himself and the corpse and may then eat. It is permitted to use even a sheet for this purpose, so long as the sheet is tied on its [top and] bottom in a way that it does not move with the wind. If a divider is not available, he is to turn his face away from the corpse and eat.

Non-relatives: Some Poskim[148] rule it is permitted for those who are not in Aninus to eat and drink even in the presence of the corpse. Other Poskim[149], however, are stringent to extend this prohibition to all people present; that they may not eat in the room of the corpse. Practically, one is to be stringent in this matter.[150]

 

Q&A

May one eat a mere snack, or drink water, in presence of the corpse?

The above prohibition applies even against eating a mere snack, or drinking water, in presence of the corpse.[151] However, some Poskim[152] are lenient and rule it is permitted to eat a mere snack or drink in the presence of the corpse.

 

May one smoke in presence of the corpse?[153]

No.

 

B. Eating at a table:[154]

In all cases, even if the Onen is in a different city than the corpse, he is not to comfortably sit[155] [at the table[156]] to eat as he normally does. [This means to say that he should eat his meal while sitting on the ground.[157] However, he may sit on a pillow and the like, and is not to sit directly on the ground.[158] Alternatively, he may sit on a low stool.[159] Other Poskim[160] however rule the above statement simply means he should not lean on his left side while eating as is normally done by the wealthy, although he may sit regularly at the table while eating.]

C. Food restrictions:

Diminishing in food: The Onen is not to eat and drink to content as normally done during a meal.[161] He is thus to only eat that which is necessary and avoid delicacies and extravagancies.[162] However, some Poskim[163] rule that one may be lenient in this matter.

Eating meat and drinking wine:[164] It is forbidden for an Onen to eat meat and drink wine [throughout his Aninus period, until after the burial when Shiva begins]. [This prohibition includes both meat and poultry, although it is permitted to eat fish.] On Shabbos and Yom Tov, the Onen may eat meat and drink wine[165], if he desires.[166]

Eating bread-Having a set meal:[167] [On the day of burial[168]] it is forbidden for the mourners to eat a set meal until after the burial takes place [unless there are people who have taken charge of the burial, such as the Chevra Kadisha[169]].[170] [Nevertheless, those relatives who are coordinating the funeral/burial together with the Chevra Kadisha, are not to eat a set meal on that day.[171]]

 

Q&A

May an Onen drink beer, or another alcoholic beverage, other than wine?

Some Poskim[172] rule it is permitted for him to drink alcoholic beverages, other than wine, in moderation in order to reduce his anguish and pain. Other Poskim[173], however, rule he is not to consume any alcoholic beverages.

 

May an Onen eat foods that were cooked with meat/poultry if he avoids eating the actual meat?   

Some Poskim[174] question whether an Onen may eat a dish that contains meat, if he avoids eating the actual meat, such as chicken soup without the chicken. Other Poskim[175], however, rule it is permitted to eat the gravy of meat, and only actual meat is forbidden.

 

May an Onen feed his children meat or chicken?[176]

It is permitted for an Onen to feed meat to his children and we do not suspect that he may come to eat it.

 

May an Onen eat meat or wine if he is medically required to do so?[177]

Yes. He however is to eat in moderation and only the bare minimum.

 

May an Onen eat leftover meat from Shabbos?

Some Poskim[178] rule it is permitted for an Onen to eat leftover meat from Shabbos during the weekday. Other Poskim[179] rule it is forbidden to do so, and so is the final ruling.

 

D. Washing, Hamotzi, Birchas Hamazon, Mayim Achronim:

The Onen is to wash his hands without a blessing prior to eating bread. Blessings over food are not recited, neither before or after the eating. The Onen is to perform Mayim Achronim after concluding his bread meal. See Halacha F for the full details of this subject!

10. Sleeping restrictions:[180]

It is forbidden for an Onen to sleep on his bed, even if the bed has been overturned [i.e. Kefuya].[181] [He is rather to sleep on the ground.[182] Practically, however, the custom today is to be lenient to allow sleeping on a regular bed during Aninus and throughout Shiva.[183]]

Marital relations:[184] It is forbidden for an Onen to have marital intercourse during his state of Aninus. This applies even on Shabbos and Yom Tov, and certainly during the week.

11. Sitting restrictions:[185]

It is forbidden for an Onen to sit on his bed [or chair[186]], even if the bed has been overturned [i.e. Kefuya].[187] [He is rather to sit on the ground.[188] Practically, however, the custom today is to be lenient to allow sitting on a regular chair during Aninus.[189]]

12. Leaving home:[190]

It is permitted for an Onen to leave his house.[191] He may thus go to Shul [or anywhere else of his choosing]. However, since it is forbidden for him to [learn or] Daven, there isn’t much for him to do in Shul.[192] [Some Poskim[193] rule it is only permitted for the Onen to leave his home if it serves a need of the deceased, or burial/funeral arrangements. It is however forbidden for him to leave the house for no need at all. Other Poskim[194] however rule the Onen may leave the house without restriction, even not for the need of the deceased.]

13. Bathing:[195]

Some Poskim[196] rule it is forbidden for an Onen to bathe [just like an Avel during Shiva]. [Practically, so is the final ruling.[197] See Chapter 19 Halacha 7 for the full details of this subject.]

14. Anointing:[198]

Some Poskim[199] rule it is forbidden for an Onen to anoint his body [just like an Avel during Shiva]. [Practically, so is the final ruling.[200] See Chapter 19 Halacha 8 for the full details of this subject.]

15. Sheilas Shalom/Greetings:[201]

Some Poskim[202] rule it is forbidden for an Onen to greet others [just like an Avel during Shiva]. [Practically, so is the final ruling.[203] See Chapter 19 Halacha 4 for the full details of this subject.]

 

16. Haircut:[204]

Some Poskim[205] rule it is forbidden for an Onen to get a haircut [just like an Avel during Shiva]. [Practically, so is the final ruling.[206] See Chapter 19 Halacha 12 for the full details of this subject.]

17. Melacha: [207]

Some Poskim[208] rule it is forbidden for an Onen to do work [just like an Avel during Shiva]. [Practically, so is the final ruling.[209] See Chapter 19 Halacha 6 for the full details of this subject.]

Business: It is forbidden for the Onen to perform business during his period of Aninus/Aveilus, as explained in Chapter 19 Halacha 6 in length. See Q&A regarding if he may sell his business.

Housework:[210] An Onen may not perform unnecessary housework.

 

Q&A

May an Avel “sell” his business to another for the period of Aveilus and have them continue doing the work [i.e. Heter Mechira]?[211]

One is may not do so during the Aveilus period[212], although one who is accustomed to do so during Aninus is not to be protested.[213] However, one who has a relative in the state of Goses may sell the business prior to his death.

How to sell the business:[214] One is to perform a Kinyan Sudar with the buyer in order to finalize the transaction of the sale.[215]  The buyer is to give the seller a vessel of any value. The moment that the seller acquires the item through taking/lifting it [i.e. Kinyan Meshicha], the business is acquired to the buyer in any area of the word that it exists. It is not necessary to have witnesses who witness the transaction, it is however advisable to have witnesses view the transaction in order so neither side can deny it having occurred. In the event that witnesses are present, than one of the witnesses is to give an item that he owns to the seller/giver and have him acquire it as the Sudar/Chalifin transaction. After the conclusion of Shiva, the buyer is to “sell” back the business to the seller/Avel.

 

18. Clothing:

Torn shirt/jacket: The Keriah is not done after hearing of the death but rather only prior to the start of the funeral [i.e. prior to the corpse being removed from the funeral home or house]. See Chapter 6 Halacha 1C for the full details of this subject

Leather shoes:[216] It is permitted for the Onen to wear leather shoes throughout Aninus, until the start of Aveilus, after the burial.[217]

Freshly clean and new clothing:[218] An Onen may not wear new, or wear freshly laundered, clothing just as is the law during Shiva. See Chapter 19 Halacha 11G for further details on this subject!

 

19. Simcha/Joy:[219]

Some Poskim[220] rule it is forbidden for an Onen to rejoice [just like an Avel during Shiva]. [Practically, so is the final ruling.[221] See Chapter 19 Halacha 16 for the full details of this subject.]

20. Attending a Simcha:[222]

It is forbidden for an Onen to attend a Simcha, or any joyous meal. This applies even if he waiters at the meal.[223] This applies even on Shabbos. It is certainly forbidden for him to attend a wedding.

A. Bris Milah:

If the Onen had a son born to him and his Bris Milah is due to be performed on the day of the burial, some Poskim[224] rule the Bris is to take place prior to the burial. In such a case the Sandek is to recite the blessing [of Lehachniso], and not the father. Other Poskim[225] however rule the Bris is to take place after the burial.[226] Practically, if the burial is able to take place in the morning prior to Shacharis, [or prior to the desired time of the Bris] then the burial should take place beforehand, and if not then the Bris should take place first.[227] [This applies even if the Milah is taking place past the 8th day, it is nevertheless to be preceded to the burial.[228] It is disputed however if this applies even if the father of the child is a Mohel.[229]]

Sandek:[230] An Onen should not be a Sandek.

B. Pidyon Haben:[231]

An Onen is not to perform the Mitzvah of Pidyon Haben until after the burial.

 

C. May a relative who is an Onen attend a wedding?[232]

Parents: It is permitted for the father or mother of the Chasan or Kallah to participate in the wedding, even during Aninus, if the needs of the deceased have already been handed to the Chevra Kadisha.[233] This includes attending the Chuppah, and being present by the meal and dancing, although they are not to eat in the meal, and are not to partake in the dancing. They are not required to do any Shimush by the meal.

Grandparents: Grandparents may participate in the Chuppah although are not to participate in the meal.

All other relatives [siblings/uncles/aunts, nieces/nephews; cousins, brother/sister in-laws]: It is forbidden for other relatives to participate in the Chuppah or wedding during Shiva.

21. Erev Shabbos:

The laws of Aninus continue to apply on Erev Shabbos, until the start of Shabbos, as explained next.

Passed away close to Shabbos:[234] In the event that the deceased passed away several hours before Shabbos, and the Chevra Kadisha does not perform burials at that time, nevertheless, the laws of Aninus apply.[235]

Bathing: It is forbidden for the Onen to bathe on Erev Shabbos in honor of Shabbos, just as is the law during Shiva. See Chapter 20 Halacha 3 regarding going to Mikveh and further details.

Shnayim Mikra:[236] The Onen may not recite Shnayim Mikra on Erev Shabbos, although he may do so on Shabbos. See Chapter 20 Halacha 10 regarding Shiva and the same applies regarding Aninus.

 

22. Shabbos:[237]

The laws of Aninus do not apply on Shabbos.[238] This applies even towards the night time, until after Shabbos is over [i.e. Tzeis Hakochavim].[239] [Nevertheless, those laws of mourning that are kept on Shabbos during Shiva, must likewise be kept by an Onen on Shabbos.[240] See Chapter 20 for the full details of this subject!]

Mitzvos/Prayer/blessings: On Shabbos and Yom Tov the Onen may say blessings [and answer Amen] and is obligated in all the Mitzvos of the Torah throughout the entire day, even towards night, [until the conclusion of Shabbos].[241] He is obligated to Daven and say Kerias Shema and recite blessing [prior to eating] as usual.[242] [Accordingly, on Shabbos the Onen joins the Minyan.[243]]

Learning Torah: Some Poskim[244] rule mourner may not learn Torah on Shabbos and Yom Tov even if he does not have the status of an Onen. Other Poskim[245] however rule it is permitted for the mourners to learn Torah on Shabbos and Yom Tov. [Even according to the stringent opinion, the Onen may study the laws of Aninus and mourning, and other permitted subjects.[246] Likewise, the Onen may recite Shnayim Mikra Viechad Targum on Shabbos.[247]]

Aliyah:[248] An Onen may not be called to the Torah on Shabbos and Yom Tov. [Some Poskim[249] rule based on this that initially he should not be counted as one of the ten people needed for a Minyan of Kerias Hatorah.] See Chapter 20 Halacha 11 for the full details of this subject!

Birchas Kohanim:[250] An Onen does not perform Nesias Kapayim even on Shabbos.[251] [This applies even in Jerusalem.[252] This applies even if he was asked to perform Nesias Kapayim.[253]] The Onen is obligated to exit the Shul prior to the Chazan calling the Kohanim. See Chapter 25 Halacha 6C for the full details of this subject!

Meat and wine: On Shabbos and Yom Tov the Onen may eat meat and drink wine[254], if he desires.[255]

Joining the Shabbos meal:[256] On Shabbos, an Onen may join the meal on the table as usual.

Marital relations:[257] It is forbidden for an Onen to have marital intercourse even on Shabbos and Yom Tov.

Shabbos clothing:[258] The Onen may wear Shabbos clothing as usual. See Chapter 19 Halacha 11H regarding Shiva.

Leaving home:[259] It is permitted for an Onen to go to Shul [or anywhere else of his choosing] on Shabbos, as he is not prohibited from leaving the home].

Sitting down:[260] An Onen may sit as usual by the meal on Shabbos and Yom Tov.

Bathing:[261] It is forbidden for the Onen to bathe on Shabbos, just as is the law during Shiva. See Chapter 20 Halacha 2A!

Covering mirror: Some[262] write that an Onen is to cover the mirrors [and pictures] as soon as he hears of the death, and that they are to remain covered also over Shabbos.

Maariv of Motzei Shabbos:[263] [If one will not bury the deceased on the night of Motzei Shabbos] then the Onen is to Daven the entire Maariv, including Shema and Shemoneh Esrei, while it is still Shabbos, prior to nightfall of Motzei Shabbos.[264] He may Daven Maariv beginning from Plag Hamincha of Shabbos. [In such a case, he remains forbidden to do Melacha until a row of three small stars becomes visible. If he did not Daven prior to nightfall of Shabbos, he may no longer Daven after nightfall.]

Havdalah:[265] If the deceased passed away on Shabbos [or before Shabbos and was not yet buried], the relatives in mourning are to eat on Motzei Shabbos without making Havdalah, so long as it is still prior to the burial. [The Onen may, however, choose to recite Havdalah while it is still Shabbos, past Plag Hamincha, prior to nightfall of Motzei Shabbos.[266] In such a case, he does not say a blessing over fire in Havdalah, and remains forbidden to do Melacha until a row of three small stars becomes visible. Despite the above allowance, some opinions[267] state it is proper to abstain from saying Havdalah while it is still Shabbos, as it is a puzzling matter to the public.[268]]

 

Q&A

May an Onen cry on Shabbos/Yom Tov over the passing of a loved one?

Many Poskim[269] rule that if one is saddened, it is permitted to cry on Shabbos if the crying will help release the pain. Thus, an Onen/Avel may cry on Shabbos for this purpose.[270]

 

Is the Onen to say Baruch Hamavdil Bein Kodesh Lechol at night?[271]

If he did not Daven Maariv, or say Havdalah, before nighttime, then he is to say “Baruch Hamavdil” prior to doing Melacha.

 

23. Yom Tov:

In the event that the burial did not take place before Yom Tov, or the passing occurred on Yom Tov, then at times the mourners retain their status of an Onen, and must abide by all restrictions relevant to an Onen, and at times their status of Aninus is lifted, and they follow the same laws followed on Shabbos, as explained in the previous Halacha. The following are the detailed laws of this matter: See Chapter 4 Halacha 3B for the general laws of burying on Yom Tov.

 

A. Do the laws of Aninus apply on Yom Tov?

First day of Yom Tov:[272] On the first day of Yom Tov, if the mourners plan to bury the deceased through gentiles on that day[273], then it has the same status as a regular weekday and the mourners retain the status of an Onen.[274] If, however, they do not desire to bury him that day[275], then it has the same status as Shabbos.

Second day of Yom Tov:[276] On the second day of Yom Tov, the mourners are considered the status of an Onen.[277] [This applies even on the second day of Rosh Hashanah.[278] This applies even if he does not plan to bury the corpse on that day.[279] If, however, the burial is unable to take place on Yom Tov due to incontrollable matters[280], then the mourners do not have the status of an Onen.[281] The same applies if the custom of the community is never to bury on the second day of Yom Tov[282], or the deceased is a famous personality and they desire to wait until after Yom Tov to let people know so they come to the funeral[283], then the laws of Aninus do not apply. Likewise, if the responsibility for caring for the needs of the corpse and his burial have been handed to the local Chevra Kadisha, then they are obligated in all Mitzvos.[284]]

The night of Yom Tov: Some Poskim[285] rule that the above distinction between the 1st and 2nd day of Yom Tov only applies to the daytime of Yom Tov, however, on the night of Yom Tov, even the second night, the mourners do not have the status of an Onen even if they plan to bury him the next day.[286] [Accordingly, he may recite Birchas Hashachar upon awakening prior to Alos, or after Alos, after the burial.[287]] Other Poskim[288], however, rule that the above distinction between the 1st and 2nd day of Yom Tov equally applies to the night of Yom Tov as well, and hence on the second night the mourners always retain the status of an Onen, and on the first night they only are an Onen if they plan to bury him through gentiles.

Chol Hamoed:[289] The laws of Aninus fully apply during Chol Hamoed, just like they apply during the week, until after the burial.

B. Torah learning and Aliyah:

Learning Torah: Some Poskim[290] rule a mourner may not learn Torah on Yom Tov even if he does not have the status of an Onen, just as is the ruling by Shabbos. Other Poskim[291], however, rule it is permitted for the mourners to learn Torah on Yom Tov, when they do not have the status of an Onen.[292] According to the former opinion, he may not read the Shnayim Mikra of the Yom Tov reading.[293]

Aliyah:[294] An Onen may not be called to the Torah on Yom Tov, just like on Shabbos. See Chapter 20 Halacha 11 for the full details of this subject!

 

C. Rosh Hashanah:

See Halacha A as for when Aninus applies even on Yom Tov, and the same applies for Rosh Hashanah.

D. Yom Kippur:

There is no Aninus on Yom Kippur, just as is the law on Shabbos.[295] See Chapter 27 Halacha 7!

E. Sukkos:

Daled Minim: During Chol Hamoed, the Onen does not fulfill the Mitzvah of Daled Minim, however, he is to fulfill the Mitzvah on Yom Tov of Sukkos. The Onen may purchase a set of Daled Minim before Sukkos if there is no one else available to do so on his behalf.

Sukkah: An Onen on Erev Sukkos may build the Sukkah if there is no one else available to do so for him.[296] An Onen is obligated to dwell in the Sukkah during Yom Tov and is to recite a blessing as usual. However, on Chol Hamoed, some Poskim[297] rule the Onen is not obligated to dwell in the Sukkah. Other Poskim[298], however, rule he is obligated to dwell in the Sukkah. Practically, he is to eat in the Sukkah without a blessing.[299]

Hoshanos: An Onen does not go around the Bima for Hoshanos, just as is the law regarding an Avel. See Chapter 27 Halacha 8E.

Hoshana Raba:[300] An Onen may not recite Tikkun Leil Hoshana Raba.

Simchas Torah:[301] The Onen is not to participate in Hakafos on Simchas Torah, unless he is escorted, just as is the law regarding a mourner within the first year. See Chapter 27 Halacha 8H! An Onen may receive an Aliya on Simcha Torah.[302]

F. Chanukah:[303]

The laws of Aninus apply on Chanukah just as they apply the rest of the year.

Chanukah candles: An Onen is exempt from lighting Chanukah candles.[304] Some Poskim[305] however rule that his wife [or other household member[306]] is to light the candles in his stead. It is however forbidden for him to answer Amen to her blessing.[307] Some Poskim[308], however, rule that he is to answer Amen to her blessing. If no one is available to light in his stead, he is to light the candles himself without a blessing.[309]

 

G. Purim:[310]   

Eating meat and drinking wine:[311] There are opinions[312] who rule an Onen is permitted to eat meat and drink wine on Purim.[313] [This is the final ruling.[314]] This only applies during Purim day, however on the night of Purim, and the night after Purim, it is forbidden for an Onen to eat meat or drink wine until after the burial.[315] Likewise, on the 15th by day, it is forbidden for an Onen to eat meat or drink wine unless he is celebrating in Jerusalem on the 15th.[316]

Hearing Megillah and prayer at night:[317] Certainly the Onen is obligated to hear the Megillah and pray on the night of Purim.[318] [However, some Poskim[319] question whether the Onen is required to Daven or hear Megillah on the night of Purim, and therefore one is to hear the Megillah reading from another rather than read it himself. However, one is to Daven at night.[320]] Regarding when the Megillah is to be read on the day of Purim, prior or post the burial-see next!

When is the burial to take place on the day of Purim-before or after the Megillah reading? On the night of Purim, one is to read the Megillah prior to the burial.[321] However by Purim day, some Poskim[322] rule the burial precedes the reading of the Megillah. Therefore, one is to first proceed with the burial, and Daven and read the Megillah afterwards. However, many Poskim[323] argue that one is to first read the Megillah and then bury the body. Practically, the custom is like this latter opinion to only bury the body after leaving Shul, and the Onen also attends the Megillah reading.[324] Nevertheless, the Onen is to re-read the Megillah after the burial [without a blessing[325]].[326]

Prayer and other Mitzvos on the day of Purim: The Onen is exempt from Shema and prayer until after the burial that day.[327] [If however the time of Shema or prayer will pass by the time the burial takes place then he is to pray and say Shema beforehand, if there are others that are taking care of the burial.[328]] Some Poskim[329] rule the Onen is exempt from wearing Tefillin on Purim before the burial takes place [and certainly after the burial]. Others[330] however rule he is to put on Tefillin before the burial. [Practically, the Chabad custom throughout the year is that the mourner puts on Tefillin after the burial without a blessing.[331]]

 

Summary of Purim:

An Onen on the night of Purim is to Daven and hear Megillah. He may not eat meat and drink wine. On the day of Purim he is to hear Megillah and may eat meat and drink wine. He may Daven and say Shema prior to the burial if there will not be time to do so afterwards. He is to put on Tefillin without a blessing after the burial.

Q&A

If the burial will not take place until after Purim, are the relatives to hear Megillah and Daven on Purim?[332]

They are obligated to hear Megillah. If the burial is being taken care of by others, then they are obligated to also Daven.[333] [As soon as the Chevra Kadisha takes charge of the corpse, it is considered to be taken care of by others.] However, one is not to put on Tefillin that day.[334]

May an Onen recite blessings when eating the Purim meal?[335]

Yes.

What are the laws of Onen on Purim Meshulash?[336]

On Friday he is considered a full Onen [and hence is exempt from Megillah reading, Davening and may not drink meat or drink wine].[337] On Sunday, during the day, some Poskim[338] rule he likewise maintains a full Onen status and may not eat meat and drink wine even during the day.

 

H. Pesach:

Bedikas Chameitz? An Onen is exempt from checking for Chametz and is thus to have another person do so for him.[339] He is to acquire his Chametz to another Jew and that Jew is to consequently search the house for Chametz with a blessing.[340]

Sreifas/Mechiras Chametz on Erev Pesach? Some Poskim[341] rule an Onen is not obligated in destroying his Chametz before Pesach. Other Poskim[342] however rule he is obligated to do so. Practically, he is to destroy his Chametz.[343]

Taanis Bechoros:[344] An Onen who is a Bechor is to fast on Erev Pesach.

Matzah/Seder night: The laws of Aninus do not apply on Yom Tov unless one plans to bury the deceased on Yom Tov, as explained in Halacha A. Nevertheless, in regards to saying the Haggadah, some Poskim[345] rule the Onen may not recite the Haggadah, as it contains Pesukim and Midrashim. He is rather to hear the Haggadah from another person and not say it himself.[346] If, however, this is not possible, then he is to say it himself.[347] An Onen is not to lean on the night of the Seder upon drinking and eating Matzah.[348]

Sefiras Haomer?[349] An Onen is exempt from Sefiras Haomer. Nevertheless, if not counting will cause him to lose the ability to say a blessing on the coming nights, he is to count without a blessing. See Halacha 8A in Q&A!

I. Tishe Beav/Fast days:

An Onen is obligated to fast on Tishe Beav and all public fasts.[350]

May an Onen go to Shul on Tishe Beav?[351] An Onen does not go to Shul on Tishe Beav until after the burial. [However, Admur[352] rules that a son who is an Onen after the passing of his father may go to Shul and say Kaddish for his father.[353] Practically, so is the Chabad custom.[354] Nevertheless the Onen is to only participate in the Kaddish and is not to recite Kinos or any of the prayers.[355]]

24. After the burial:

A. Birchas Hashachar:[356]

As stated above, an Onen does not recite any blessings, including Birchas Hashachar. The Onen is exempt from reciting Birchas Hashachar even after the burial, until the next morning.[357] This applies even if the burial took place in the early morning prior to the end time of the morning Shema and Shacharis. If he says the blessings, it is considered a blessing in vain.[358] [If the burial took place at night, prior to Alos, then if it took place in the early hours of the night, prior to him getting a set sleep that night, then he is to recite the blessings that morning after Alos.[359] If however, it took place later in the night, after him waking up from a set sleep, then he may not say the morning blessings which he already benefited from upon awakening, even after Alos.[360]]

 

Q&A

May an Onen recite Birchas Hatorah after the Kevurah?[361]

Yes, it may be recited anytime in the day. If he is still able to Daven Shacharis, it is to be recited prior to Shacharis.[362]

The Kevurah was at night:[363] If the Kevurah was at night then he is to recite Birchas Hatorah prior to Maariv. After awakening the next morning from a standard sleep, he is to repeat the blessing as usual, even though it was recited a number of hours earlier at night.

 

B. Davening/Tashlumin:

Morning Kerias Shema:[364]  As soon as they begin to throw the earth onto the body, the Aveilim become obligated in Shema, if its time has not expired [i.e. Sof Zman Kerias Shema]. Thus, if the burial took place prior to Sof Zman Kerias Shema, then Shema is to be recited. [If the burial took place prior to the 4th hour of the day, then Shema may be recited together with its blessings.[365] Furthermore, even if the burial took place after the 4th hour of the day, but prior to midday, many are accustomed to say Shema with its blessings.[366]]

Shemoneh Esrei of Shacharis:[367] If the burial took place prior to midday, the Shemoneh Esrei of Shacharis alone[368] is to be prayed. This applies even if the burial took place past the 4th hour into the day. If, however, the burial took place past midday, then he is not to Daven Shemoneh Esrei of Shacharis, and is likewise not to Daven Mincha twice as a Tashlumin of Shacharis.[369] [Some Poskim[370] however rule that this only applies if the death took place prior to morning. If, however, the death took place after the morning already arrived, but prior to the Avel Davening Shacharis, then if the burial takes place after midday, he is obligated to Daven Tashlumin for Shacharis after he is done Davening Mincha. Other Poskim[371] however rule there is no need to pray Tashlumin even in such a case.]

Maariv:[372] [If the burial took place at night, he is obligated to Daven Maariv after the burial.] If the burial took place after daybreak, one does not Daven Maariv of the previous night, and one does not make it up through repeating Shemoneh Esrei of Shacharis as Tashlumin for Maariv.[373] [Some Poskim[374] however rule that this only applies if the death took place prior to night of the previous day. If, however, the death took place at night, but prior to the Avel Davening Maariv, then if the burial takes place in the morning he is obligated to Daven Tashlumin for Maariv after he is done Davening Shacharis. Other Poskim[375] however rule there is no need to pray Tashlumin even in such a case.]

Mincha: If the burial took place in the afternoon, prior to nighttime, he is obligated to Daven Mincha after the burial. If the burial took place after nighttime, one does not Daven Maariv twice as Tashlumin for Mincha. [See above for dispute if Tashlumin applies if the death occurred after midday.]

Musaf:[376] If the burial took place in the afternoon, prior to nighttime, he is obligated to Daven Musaf after the burial.

Hallel:[377] If the burial took place prior to nighttime, he is obligated to Daven Hallel after the burial.

 

Summary:

After the burial, one is obligated to Daven the prayer that is due during that time, although is not to make up any previous prayers missed. Thus, if the burial took place in the morning prior to midday, he is obligated to Daven Shacharis after the burial. If the burial took place after midday, but before nighttime, one is obligated to Daven Mincha. If the burial took place at night, one is obligated to Daven Maariv after the burial.

C. Tefillin:

*See chapter 18 Halacha 3 for the full details of this subject!

On the first day of mourning, which is the day of burial, it is forbidden for a mourner to put on Tefillin. [Some Poskim however rule one is to wear the Tefillin without a blessing on the first day of mourning, after the burial. Practically, the widespread Chabad custom is to wear Tefillin without a blessing on the first day of Aveilus, after the burial. Many do so even in public, although others are particular to do so only in private. The Chabad custom is to wear even Tefillin of Rabbeinu Tam. According to Chabad custom, all this applies even if the day of death and the day of burial are the same day.]

D. Havdalah-Burial took place after Motzei Shabbos:[378]

If the deceased passed away on Shabbos [or before Shabbos and was not yet buried], the relatives in mourning are to eat on Motzei Shabbos without making Havdalah so long as it is still prior to the burial. However, after the burial, Havdalah must to be recited [prior to eating or drinking any food[379]; prior to eating the Seudas Havraah].[380] [The mourner may make Havdalah using even his own wine.[381] The blessings over Besamim and Haeish are not recited, if the Havdalah is taking place on Sunday or onwards, although it is recited when Havdalah takes place on Motzei Shabbos, after the burial.[382] The requirement to say Havdalah applies so long as the burial takes place prior to Tuesday night.[383] If, however, the burial takes place after Tuesday night, Havdalah is no longer recited.[384] If the mourner began eating or drinking prior to Havdalah and then remembered, then he must immediately stop eating or drinking and say Havdalah.[385]]

Motzei Yom Tov: If the deceased passed away on Yom Tov [or before Yom Tov and was not yet buried], the relatives in mourning are to eat on Motzei Yom Tov without making Havdalah, so long as it is still prior to the burial. However, after the burial, Havdalah must to be recited [prior to eating or drinking any food[386]; prior to eating the Seudas Havraah].[387] The requirement to say Havdalah applies so long as the burial takes place within the day after Yom Tov. If, however, the burial takes place later on, from the 2nd day and onwards after Yom Tov, then Havdalah is no longer recited.[388]

 

Q&A

If the Onen said/heard Havdalah on Motzei Shabbos, prior to the burial, must he repeat Havdalah afterwards?

Some Poskim[389] rule that if the mourner said or listened to Havdalah prior to the burial, while still in a state of Aninus, he is not required to repeat Havdalah later on. Other Poskim[390] however rule he is required to repeat Havdalah after the burial. If, however, the Onen said Havdalah prior to even discovering the death, then according to all he is not required to repeat it after the burial.[391]

 

Are the Pesukim of Hinei Keil Yeshuasi recited when an Avel says Havdalah?[392]

No.[393] However, some Poskim[394] write that those Aveilim who are accustomed to wear Shabbos clothing until after Havdalah even during Shiva, may recite the verses of Hinei Keil Yeshuasi in Havdalah. Practically, this was the Rebbe’s custom.[395]  

 

General Q&A on Onen after burial

If one ate prior to the burial, is he to say an after blessing after the burial?

If one ate food prior to the burial, and due to his state of Aninus did not recite an after blessing, then after the burial, so long as he is still satiated from his meal, some Poskim[396] rule he is to recite an after blessing. Other Poskim[397], however, rule that he is exempt from saying a blessing.

 

Is one to recite Asher Yatzar after the burial if he used the bathroom when he was an Onen?[398]

This matter follows the same dispute recorded above.

 

If the burial took place during one of the nights of Chanukah, is he to light candles with a blessing after the burial?

If the burial took place at night, then if it took place past a half hour after nightfall, some Poskim[399] rule he may no longer light that night with a blessing.[400]

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[1] See Rashi Bereishis 35:18

[2] See Even Ezra Ki Savo

[3] Zevachim 100; Bikurim 22; Tur 398; Taz 398:1; Gilyon Maharsha 341

[4] See Zevachim 99b; 100b

[5] Rosh Moed Katan 3:53; Beis Yosef 341 [in contrast to in O.C. 71]; Nitei Gavriel 113:16; See Gesher Hachaim ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that we follow the lenient opinion even by Aninus. [Mishmeres Shalom 1:24 in name of Rabbeinu Yona; See Tosfos Eiruvin 86; Sdei Chemed Mareches Hei 41 brings that Beis Yosef in O.C. 71 is lenient and contradicts himself]

[6] Admur ibid; Taz 71:1; Yerushalmi ibid

[7] See Admur ibid; Chochmas Adam 153:1; Kitzur SHU”A 196:1

[8] See Avos 4:18; Darkei Hachaim 2:30; Nitei Gavriel 23:11

[9] Michaber 341:1; Admur 71:1

[10] Michaber 374:4

[11] See Rama 340:8 regarding Keriah that so is the custom; Nitei Gavriel 12 footnote 1; 53:3; 126:7 who learns Rabbo Hamuvhak; Rabbo Muvhak refers to one from who one has learned majority of his Torah from. [Rama 242:4; Michaber 242:30; See Bava Metzia 33; Sheilasos 131] The Michaber ibid does not limit the above law to a main teacher.

Nassi/Gadol Hador: It is not necessary to mourn the passing of the Nassi [Michaber 374:11] unless he was his main teacher.

[12] Aruch Hashulchan 374:19

[13] Michaber 274:10; Yerushalmi Brachos chapter 3;

[14] Michaber 242:27; Rama 341:1 in name of Yeish Omrim; Hagahos Ashri; Taz 374:5; Shach 341:10

[15] Taz 374:5 in name of Rashal

[16] Nitei Gavriel 13:1

[17] Nitei Gavriel 13:5 in name of Ritva and Shita Mekubetzes Kesubos 3b and Nitei Gavriel Nessuin 111:9; Sdei Chemed Aveilus 216; Gesher Hachaim 19:7; 2:15-3; Unlike ruling brought in name of Rav Moshe Feinstein.

[18] Dvar Moshe 83 based on Yerushalmi, brought in Birkeiy Yosef 341:1, Rav Akiva Eiger 341, Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:1; Gilyon Maharsha 341; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 13 footnote 4; See Bach 353

[19] The reason: As a Kohen may not impurify himself to a Nefel, even if he is a relative, hence proving there is no true obligation of burial. Alternatively, even according to the Poskim who rule there is an obligation to bury a Nefel, nevertheless the laws of Aninus do not apply. [Poskim ibid]

[20] Tiferes Lemoshe, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341, Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:1

[21] The reason: As on the one hand the relatives do not have to mourn the child’s passing or sit Shiva. On the other hand, they are obligated to bury the child, and hence perhaps are prohibited in eating meat and wine, and exempt from all Mitzvos. [ibid]

[22] Nitei Gavriel 135:8

[23] See Shach 340:13; Kitzur SHU”A 204:3 and many of the sources brought throughout this Halacha from where it is clear that such a limbo period does exist; See also Admur 71:1 that Aninus ends “as soon as they begin throwing the earth on the body” while in Michaber 375:1 we rule that Shiva only begins when the entire casket is covered with earth; Vetzaruch Iyun from Igros Kodesh 6:103 who implies that no Poskim rule that there exists a state where one is not an Onen nor an Avel in Shiva, as Shach ibid clearly rules that Aveilus does not yet begin.

[24] See Halacha B for the exact status of this limbo period and what is allowed and what is forbidden

[25] See Aruch Hashulchan 341:23

[26] Michaber 341:1; See Pnei Baruch Onen 9 in name of Rav SZ”A that if the burial is taking place the next day then at night, prior to going to sleep,  he is obligated to recite Shema and Birchas Hamapil! Seemingly, this follows the logic of “Masruhu Lekatafim”, although according to the 2nd opinion and custom in Admur 71:1, certainly it is not to be recited.

[27] Shach 341:2; Bach; Semag

[28] Admur 71:1; M”A 71:1; Kitzur SHU”A 196:3; Nitei Gavriel 77:12; However, regarding Shiva, it only begins once the entire casket is covered with earth. [See Nitei Gavriel 133:1 footnote 1; Chapter 13 Halacha 1]

[29] Shach 341:1

[30] See Michaber 402:5 regarding Shemua Rechoka, and the same would apply regarding Aninus

[31] Stam opinion in Admur 71:1; Stam opinion in Michaber O.C. 71:1; Only opinion in Michaber Y.D. 341:1; Taz 71:1 [says final ruling of Michaber follows 341:1]; Rosh Brachos 55 and 3:3

[32] The reason: Although the reason behind the state of Aninus is so one’s mind be free to think of the needs of the deceased, and thus in the event that his needs are taken care of by others it seemingly should not apply, nevertheless, the Sages did not differentiate in their decree. [Admur ibid]

[33] 2nd opinion in Admur ibid; 2nd opinion in Michaber 71:1; Ravaya 58; Mordechai Brachos 3; Rabbeinu Tam; Chochmas Adam 153, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:21; Kitzur SHU”A 196:4; See Yosef Daas 341; M”A 548:8; Imreiy Yosher 1:51; Maharsham 2:260; Sdei Chemed p. 3456; Nitei Gavriel 14:4

The law if one is attending the funeral: Some Poskim rule that if the relative plans to attend the burial, it does not help even if the Chevra Kadisha took over and he thus remains an Onen. [Noda Beyehuda 211, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:21] Other Poskim argue. [See Matzeivas Moshe; Nitei Gavriel 16:10-11 footnote 12 and 14]

[34] Admur and Michaber ibid state this with regards to being allowed to recite blessings, pray and perform Mitzvos. Michaber 341:3 further adds that they may eat meat and drink wine. However, they remain prohibited in other matters such as Simcha, and bathing and the like. [Tur in name of Ramban, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341]

[35] Michaber 341:3 [Vetzaruch Iyun why this does not contradict what he said in 341:1 that even if others are taking care it does not help]; Yerushalmi Brachos 3; Shach 341:13 that this applies even though the Shiva will not yet begin until after the burial [Vetzaruch Iyun from Igros Kodesh 6:103 who states that no Poskim rule that there exists a state where one is not an Onen nor an Avel in Shiva, as Shach ibid clearly rules that Aveilus does not yet begin]; Chochmas Adam 153, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:21

The reason: As the responsibility is no longer on their shoulders. [Michaber ibid] Therefore they are no longer the status of an Onen, even though the mourning has not yet begun. [Shach 341:13]

Other cases of exemption according to this opinion: a) If the relative and corpse is on an airplane flying to the area of the burial, some Rabbanim rule the relative is not an Onen during the travel. [See Nitei Gavriel 14:5 footnote 13] b) Relatives in Eretz Yisrael on second day of Yom Tov if the corpse is in the Diaspora, and will not be buried on Yom Tov, some Rabbanim rule the relative is not an Onen on this second day. [So ruled to me Rav Y.L. Landau of Bnei Brak]

[36] Noda Beyehuda Tinyana 211; Rav Akiva Eiger 341; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:21

[37] M”A 696:16; P”M 71 M”Z 5; Imrei Yosher 1:61; Daas Kedoshim 341:1; Lashon Chachamim; Maharam Shick Y.D. 340; Gesher Hachaim p. 176; Mishneh Halachos 4:144; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 16:17; Piskeiy Teshuvos 38:6; Response of Rav Y.L. Groner “Regarding Tefillin, I did not hear any directive from the Rebbe on this, however the elderly Rabbanim Reb Shmuel Levitan, Reb Eliyahu Simpson, Reb Yisrael Jacobson and others said not to put on the Tefillin before burial but afterward’ s to put on both Rashi and Rabbeinu Tam”

The Rebbes custom: It is recorded that the Rebbe Rayatz wore Tefillin without a blessing after the passing of his mother on both Sunday and Monday, prior to the funeral taking place on Monday. [Toras Menachem Reshimos Hayoman p. 411] The Rebbe likewise wore Tefillin prior to the funeral of his mother, Rebbetzin Chana, and his wife Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka. [Heard from Rav Y. L. Groner]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is permitted for the relative to wear Tefillin prior to the burial and start of Shiva, while his state of Aninus is suspended. [Elya Raba 696:11 brought in P”M 696 A”A 16 regarding Purim; However see Maharam Shick Y.D. 340 that Purim is an exception to the rule; See Mishneh Halachos 4:144; Nitei Gavriel 82:13]

[38] Tur in name of Ramban, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341, that all the restrictions involving joy and Taanug are forbidden; Perisha 341 adds bathing and anointing; Derech Hachaim adds marital relations, joy, and Sheilas Shalom; Imrei Yosher 1:61 adds Torah learning; See Kitzur SHU”A 204:3 and 196:5-6; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 14:8 footnote 16 and 16:16 footnote 21; 134:3

[39] Nitei Gavriel 16 footnote 21

[40] Admur ibid [See Igros Kodesh 6:103 that this applies even if Masru Lektafayom]; Rashal, brought in Taz 71:2; Aruch Hashulchan 341:10; Noda Beyehuda Tinyana 211, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:21 that handing it over to the Chevra Kadisha is only of value if one does not plan to attend the funeral; Nitei Gavriel 16:10 and in p. 112 that so is the custom whenever the relative is in the same city and plans to attend the funeral; See Igros Kodesh 6:103 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:267 and Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 3:136]; Directive received from Rav Asher Lemel Cohen

[41] Stam opinion in Admur 71:1; Michaber 341:1 as explained in Shach 341:5; Taz 71:1; Rosh Brachos 55 and 3:3; Aruch Hashulchan 341:10; See Nitei Gavriel 14:1

[42] The reason: As the Sages did not differentiate in their decree. [Admur ibid]

[43] 2nd opinion in Admur ibid; Bach 71 and 341 and Rabbeinu Tam, brought in Shach 341:5; Ravaya 58; Mordechai Brachos 3; Kitzur SHU”A 196:4; Yosef Daas 341; M”A 548:8; Imreiy Yosher 1:51; Maharsham 2:260; Sdei Chemed p. 3456; See Nitei Gavriel 14:1 and 4

The law if one is attending the funeral: Some Poskim rule that when accompanying the Meis to the city, it does not help that he is currently in a different city, and thus one who is in the same city as the Meis is always an Onen even if the Chevra Kadisha took over. [Noda Beyehuda 211, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:21]

[44] Rabbeinu Tam and Bach hold that so long as there are relatives in the city of the deceased who are obligated to mourn him, then all relatives of foreign cities are exempt. [Shach ibid]

[45] What is the status of these relatives? These relatives may eat meat/wine [and are certainly obligated in Mitzvos, although they remain subject to the other Aninus restrictions] even prior to the start of the funeral and subsequent start of mourning. [See Poskim in previous part of this Halacha regarding “If another person is dealing with the burial arrangements”; Shach 340:13 states that they do not begin Aveilus; Vetzaruch Iyun from Igros Kodesh 6:103 who states that no Poskim rule that there exists a state where one is not an Onen nor an Avel in Shiva, as Shach ibid clearly rules that Aveilus does not yet begin]   

[46] Admur ibid; Aruch Hashulchan 341:10; Noda Beyehuda ibid regarding all cases that one plans to attend the funeral; Directive received from Rav Asher Lemel Cohen

Other rulings of today’s Rabbanim: Some rule like the lenient opinion that there is no status of Onen until he reaches the city of the funeral, although he may not put on Tefillin. [Nitei Gavriel 14:2; and 16:3 in Kuntrus; Rav Y.S. Ginzberg in an email correspondence;] See Igros Kodesh 6:103 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:267 and Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 3:136]

[47] Rama 341:3; Rabbeinu Yona; See Aruch Hashulchan 341:23

[48] So is implied from 1st opinion in Admur 71:1 and that so is the custom

[49] Michaber 341:4; Rambam; Tur in name of Riy

If the burial is delayed due to government regulations: If the burial is delayed due to government regulations, then some Poskim rule that he nevertheless has the status of an Onen throughout the days of the delay, as he is nevertheless able to prepare the Tachrichin and other matters for the burial. [Noda Beyehuda Tinyana 211, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:22; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 11 footnote 6] Other Poskim however rule he is not an Onen until the day of burial arrives. [Maharam Shick 340; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 11 footnote 7]

[50] The reason: As Aninus only applies once the corpse is placed before the relatives [and is able to be buried] and in such a case the corpse is not considered to be lying before them. [Shach 341:13]

[51] Rav Akiva Eiger 341 in name of Rosh

[52] For example, if the deceased was in prison and the government refuses to release the body to the relatives under any circumstances, then the relatives are to immediately begin Aveilus. If, however, the government is requesting a ransom to redeem the body, then even if they are requesting a large sum of money, it is considered that they have not given up hope, as the government may go down in price. [Shach 341:15]

[53] Michaber 341:4; Rambam; Tur in name of Riy

[54] See Nitei Gavriel 16:13

[55] See Michaber 375:2

[56] For general knowledge on this subject see Nitei Gavriel Aveilus chapter 11:3 and chapter 14:2-3; 133:10; 15; Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 3:136; Koveitz Habracha 8 for an answer of Rav Farkash; Shearim Hametzuyanim Behalacha 196:5

Background: The case under discussion in the Michaber 375:2, brought in the previous Halacha, is with regards to one who attended the funeral, escorted the deceased relative, and then returned home while the deceased traveled to its destination country for burial. The question is thus asked regarding the law in a case where the relative is not found in the area of the deceased and will hence not be attending neither a funeral or burial, and will not be escorting the deceased. Do we say that in such a case there is no “Chazaras Panim” and hence no basis to begin the Shiva prior to burial, or do we say that it makes no difference? Practically, this matter is dependent on the dispute recorded regarding whether a person is an Onen in such a situation, and if Shiva begins right after Aninus ends, without any limbo period in-between.

[57] Stam opinion in Admur 71:1 and that so is custom [as writes Rebbe in Igros Kodesh 6:103 that in such a case according to Admur ibid one remains an Onen until burial]; Michaber 341:1 as explained in Shach 341:5; Taz 71:1; Rosh Brachos 55 and 3:3; Aruch Hashulchan 341:10 “Practically, we must rule like the Tur and Michaber and therefore if one was informed by telegram of the death of his relative, he remains an Onen until after the estimated time of burial”; See Meishiv Davar 2:72 that the law stated in Michaber 375:2 that one begins Aveilus early if not attending the burial only applies if one escorted the deceased from his city; See Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag ibid

[58] The following Poskim rule this way whenever the needs of the corpse have been handed to another: Michaber 341:3; Bach brought in Shach 341:5; 2nd opinion in Admur 71:1; The following Poskim rule this way whenever the relative is not in the same city as the corpse: 2nd opinion in Admur ibid; Bach 71 and 341 and Rabbeinu Tam, brought in Shach ibid; Ravaya 58; Mordechai Brachos 3; The following Poskim rule this way whenever the relative is both not in the same city as the corpse and others are taking care of the burial needs and he does not plan to attend the funeral: Noda Beyehuda Tinyana 211, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:21; So rules also Kitzur SHU”A 196:4; Yosef Daas 341; M”A 548:8; Imreiy Yosher 1:51; Maharsham 2:260; Sdei Chemed Aveilus 14 p. 3456; Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:253; Shevet Halevi 3:168; Cheishev Haeifod 2:152; Sefer Kol Bo [Greenwald]; Rav Pesach Tzvi Frank, brought in Chazon Lamoed; Nitei Gavriel 14:4; 16:2 in Kuntrus; 133:10; 15

[59] Regarding when they should start Shiva according to this latter opinion-see Chapter 13 Halacha 7B for the full details and opinions of when a nontraveler begins Shiva. The final ruling of that discussion has been recorded here in the brackets.

[60] Maharsham 2:26; Sdei Chemed Aveilus 14 p. 3456; Sefer Kol Bo [Greenwald] in name of Maharsham ibid; Teshuvah Sheliam 2:20; Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:253 “They begin mourning immediately since they will not be traveling with them”; Shevet Halevi 3:168 “The main opinion is to begin Shiva immediately upon receiving knowledge”; Cheishev Haeifod 2:152; Chelkas Yaakov 1:108; Eidus Yisrael 51 that so ruled Rav Henkin; Chazon Lamoed 11 that so ruled Rav Pesach Tzvi Frank; Rebbe in Igros Kodesh 6:103 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:267 and Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 3:136] where the Rebbe states regarding the passing of his brother in 1952 that “I followed the ruling of the Achronim that one begins Aveilus immediately”; Nitei Gavriel 133:10 and 15 footnote 19  and 26-27 that so rule the Gedolei Haposkim in Eretz Yisrael and the Diaspora [however it is unclear if his intent is even in a case where one is also not attending the funeral]; Rav Yaakov Roza, head of Chevra Kadisha in Eretz Hakodesh; So ruled to me Rav Asher Lemel Cohen via Telephone; Rav Yosef Simcha Ginzberg in email answer; See Yabia Omer 4:28

Wearing Tefillin: See Imrei Yosher ibid, Yabia Omer ibid and Nitei Gavriel 133:16 who write not to put on Tefillin until after the burial. However, accoridng to the Chabad custom, one may wear Tefillin even that day, and so was done by the Rebbe. [See Chapter 18 Halacha 3]

[61] Aruch Hashulchan 341:10; See Nitei Gavriel 16:12 footnote 14 for other opinions who say that the state of Aninus ends even prior to the burial, after the funeral. See Shach 375:1 and 10 in implication of Michaber 375:2 and Rama 375:7 that the Shiva does not begin until the burial is complete.

[62] Implication of M”A 548:5 in name of Maharam Melublin 107; P”M 548 A”A 5; Gilyon Maharsha 393 that only when he became an Onen on the Yom Tov does he not need to switch areas.

[63] Darkei Chesed p. 33 says to cover at time of Petira; Nitei Gavriel 25:7, however see Nitei Gavriel 80:15 that he contradicts himself

[64] Nitei Gavriel 25:7

[65] Admur 71:1; Michaber Y.D. 341:1; Mishneh Brachos 17b; Michaber O.C. 71:1 regarding Shema

[66] The reason: As one who is in the midst of fulfilling a Mitzvah is exempt from other Mitzvos. [Chacham Tzevi 1, brought in Peri Megadim in Pesicha Koleles 2:28; See Rashi Brachos ibid] Alternatively, he is exempt because the verse states “Leman Tizkor Kol Yimei Chayecha” from which we learn that he is only required to fulfill them when he is dealing with life and not when he is dealing with death. [Tosfos Brachos ibid in name of Yerushalmi]

What Mitzvah is fulfilled by being an Onen? An Onen is Biblically obligated to bury the deceased relative and is hence to be involved in this Mitzvah and not other Mitzvos.

[67] Admur ibid; Michaber ibid regarding Shema; Michaber 341:1 in name of Yeish Omrim; Tosfos Brachos ibid based on Yerushalmi Brachos 3:1; Rosh Brachos ibid

The reason: Although it does not take any time to answer Amen, and the needs of the corpse are not delayed in any way due to it, nevertheless, it is Rabbinically forbidden to do so out of respect for the dead, as the Sages required that one’s mind be free to think of the needs of the deceased, and that he should constantly think of them. [Admur ibid; Taz 71:1; Yerushalmi ibid]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is permitted for the Onen to be stringent upon himself to perform Mitzvos, as the entire reason behind the exemption is because one is dealing with one Mitzvah [of burying the dead] is exempt from other Mitzvos, in which case he may choose to be stringent. [See Pnei Baruch Onen 10] 

[68] Chacham Tzevi 1, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7; Birkeiy Yosef 341:5, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:4; Kitzur SHU”A 196:2; See Peri Megadim in Pesicha Koleles 2:28, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7, that an Onen is exempt from the Mitzvah of Tashbisu and Baal Yeraeh.

[69] Birkeiy Yosef ibid, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid

[70] Admur 71:1; Michaber Y.D. 341:1; Mishneh Brachos 17b

[71] See Halacha 2B that according to some Poskim, if the responsibilities have been handed over to the Chevra Kadisha, or one is out of town, especially if he does not plan on attending the funeral, then he is neither an Onen nor an Avel. Practically, however, according to Admur 71:1 the custom is like the stringent opinion, and hence there is never a situation in which a person is not an Onen prior to burial. See there!

[72] M”A 696:16; P”M 71 M”Z 5; Imrei Yosher 1:61; Daas Kedoshim 341:1; Lashon Chachamim; Maharam Shick Y.D. 340; Gesher Hachaim p. 176; Mishneh Halachos 4:144; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 16:17; Piskeiy Teshuvos 38:6; Response of Rav Y.L. Groner “Regarding Tefillin, I did not hear any directive from the Rebbe on this, however the Elderly Rabbonim Reb Shmuel Levitan, Reb Eliyahu Simpson, Reb Yisroel Jacobson and others said not to put on the Tefillin before burial but afterward’s to put on both Rashi and Rabbeinu Tam”

The Rebbes custom: It is recorded that the Rebbe Rayatz wore Tefillin without a blessing after the passing of his mother on both Sunday and Monday, prior to the funeral taking place on Monday. [Toras Menachem Reshimos Hayoman p. 411] The Rebbe likewise wore Tefillin prior to the funeral of his mother, Rebbetzin Chana, and his wife Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka. [Heard from Rav Y. L. Groner] See Chikrei Minhagim 4:119

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is permitted for the relative to wear Tefillin prior to the burial and start of Shiva, while his state of Aninus is suspended. [Elya Raba 696:11 brought in P”M 696 A”A 16 regarding Purim; However see Maharam Shick Y.D. 340 that Purim is an exception to the rule; See Mishneh Halachos 4:144; Nitei Gavriel 82:13]

[73] Nitei Gavriel 16:7

[74] Nitei Gavriel 38:6

[75] Beis Yehuda, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6; See Peri Megadim in Pesicha Koleles 2:28, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7, that an Onen is exempt from the Mitzvah of Tashbisu and Baal Yeiraeh.

[76] Teshuvah Meahava, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6

[77] Peri Megadim in Pesicha Koleles 2:28, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7

[78] Chomos Yerushalayim 267, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7

[79] Noda Beyehuda O.C. 1:27, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6; Gilyon Maharsha 341; Rav Akiva Eiger 489; Biur Halacha 489:8 “Belo Bracha”; Kaf Hachaim 489:86; Chelkas Yaakov 3:65; Piskeiy Teshuvos 489:23; See Divrei Moshe 1:29 that the Saraf of Magalintza asked someone to count on his behalf while he stood and listened without intent to perform the Mitzvah.

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that one cannot count Sefira during Aninus even if it causes him to lose the blessing for the remainder of Sefira. [Nehar Shalom, brought in Biur Halacha ibid]

[80] See Admur 71:1; Nehar Shalom, brought in Biur Halacha ibid; See however Noda Beyehuda ibid who argues that perhaps an Onen is obligated in Sefira, as it does not take very long to say and does not distract him from the Mitzvah of burial. He uses this argument to allow saying it without a blessing in the event that he may lose the blessing all together for the coming nights.

[81] Biur Halacha ibid in name of Nehar Shalom

[82] See Biur Halacha ibid that perhaps the day counting according to the opinion who allows counting by day, is a mere Tashlumin. Accordingly, it will not help for him to count by day, the next day, even according to their opinion, as if he was exempt at night then he will also be exempt the next day even after the burial. [See Admur 71:1 and Michaber 341:2] Therefore, he should count at night in order not to forfeit the blessing, and then count again the next day after the burial.

[83] 2nd opinion in Admur 71:1; Sefer Hachaim 71 brought in Daas Torah 71 and Nitei Gavriel ibid

[84] The reason: As it is a Mitzvah Overes, and by a Mitzvah Overes all agree that one may be stringent upon himself to say it.

[85] 1st opinion in Admur ibid

[86] Admur ibid

[87] See Igros Kodesh 6:103 [brought in Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag Y.D. p. 364 and Shulchan Menachem 5:267] that the Rebbe followed the 2nd opinion in Admur upon the passing of his brother.

[88] Admur 71:1; Michaber O.C. 71:1; Y.D. 341:2; Mishneh Brachos 17b

[89] Some write that if the burial is taking place the next day then at night, prior to going to sleep, he is obligated to recite Shema and Birchas Hamapil! [Rav SZ”A in Minchas Shlomo 91; Pnei Baruch Onen 9 and Nitei Gavriel 20:3 in name of Rav SZ”A] Seemingly, this follows the opinion that holds “Masruhu Lekatafim” removes one’s state of Aninus, although according to the 2nd opinion and custom in Admur 71:1, certainly it is not to be recited.

[90] Admur ibid; Michaber ibid regarding Shema; Michaber 341:1 in name of Yeish Omrim; Tosfos Brachos ibid based on Yerushalmi Brachos 3:1; Rosh Brachos ibid; See Shvus Yaakov 1:7, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6

The reason: Although it does not take any time to answer Amen, and the needs of the corpse are not delayed in any way due to it, nevertheless it is Rabbinically forbidden to do so out of respect for the dead, as the Sages required that one’s mind be free to think of the needs of the deceased, and that he should constantly think of them. [Admur ibid; Taz 71:1; Yerushalmi ibid]

[91] Implication of Rama 341:1; Kneses Hagedola 55; Peri Chadash 1:18; Shvus Yaakov 2:25; Beir Heiytiv 55:7; Perach Mateh Aaron 1:19, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341; Beis Yehuda 45; Magen Giborim 55:9; Shalmei Tzibor p. 176; Toras Chaim Sofer 55:8; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:14; Gilyon Maharsha 341; P”M 55 A”A 4; M”B 55:24; Darkei Hachaim 2:4; Pnei Baruch Onen 8; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 17:5 and Piskeiy Teshuvos 55:10 [See there regarding leniencies if the burial was handed to the Chevra Kadisha or the corpse is not in the same city]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule an Onen does join a Minyan, just like one who is sleeping can join a Minyan. [Chasan Sofer [Matosdorf] 2:18 in name of Birkeiy Yosef; Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 55:10]

[92] Seemingly, according to Admur and other Poskim who rule an Onen may say Kaddish for his parent he may likewise count for the Minyan for Kaddish. Vetzaruch Iyun as the Poskim make no connection with this matter!

[93] Orach Neman 55:9; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

[94] Shvus Yaakov 3:67, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6; Gilyon Maharsha 341; Chochmas Adam 153:5; Rav Poalim 1:9; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 18:2 footnote 5

[95] Poskim brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 71:6 and Nitei Gavriel ibid

[96] Poskim brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 71:6

[97] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[98] Pashut; Nitei Gavriel 18:4

[99] Nitei Gavriel 18:5

[100] Chamudei Daniel, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6

[101] See Rama 402:12

[102] See Admur 71:1

[103] See opinions in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:9

[104] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 4:9; Nitei Gavriel 10:8

[105] Nitei Gavriel 21:5 in name of Rav Chaim Falagi

[106] See Chochmas Adam 153:1; Mordechai in name of Ravaya; Pnei Baruch Onen 11; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 21:3 footnote 3

[107] Aruch Hashulchan 341:10

[108] Admur 71:1 in parentheses [This ruling of Admur is placed in parentheses possibly due to the other opinions mentioned below that argue-Chikrei Halachos 5:50]; Taz 71:2; Misgeres Hashulchan 341; See Lechem Hapanim, brought in Beis Lechem Yehuda 376; The following Poskim agree to this ruling only on Shabbos, or if the Chevra Kadisha has taken over the proceedings of the body: P”M 71 M”Z 2; Chochmas Adam 153:1; M”B 71:7 [however see M”B 559:24]; See Nitei Gavriel chapter 17 for a thorough analysis on this subject

Other rulings of Taz: The Taz in Yoreh Deah 376:4 rules an Onen may not say Kaddish during the weekday and may only do so on Shabbos. The Poskim answer this contradiction by stating it is permitted if the Chevra Kadisha has taken over the proceedings of the burial, and is forbidden if they are yet to do so. [Poskim brought next]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule an Onen may say Kaddish on Shabbos but not during the week. [Taz Yoreh Deah 376:4; Shvus Yaakov 8; Lechem Hapanim, brought in Beis Lechem Yehuda 376 in defense of Taz that at least on Shabbos it may be said and that so is the custom; Even Shoham 27; Implication of Shaar Ephraim 99; Nachalas Shiva 73; Poskim in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:14] Other Poskim rule an Onen may say Kaddish during the week if the Chevra Kadisha has already taken over the proceedings of the body, although if the Chevra Kadisha has not taken over the proceedings of the body, then he may not say Kaddish during the week. [Beir Heiytiv 71:4; P”M 71 M”Z 2; Chochmas Adam 153:1; M”B 71:7] Other Poskim rule an Onen is not to say Kaddish at all prior to burial, even on Shabbos, and so is the custom, as the purpose of Kaddish is to save the body from Gehinnom and until burial Gehinnom does not begin. [Nekudos Hakesef on Taz ibid; Chidushei Hagershuni 376 on Taz ibid that the custom is unlike the Taz and that according to the Zohar there is no place to say Kaddish prior to burial; Gilyon Maharsha 376 in name of Teshuvas B”ahag 62; See Lechem Hapanim ibid that that the custom is unlike the Shach and for a defense of the Taz; See Rama 341:1 “It is permitted for an Onen to go to Shul although since it is forbidden for him to Daven there isn’t much for him to do there.” This implies that an Onen does not recite Kaddish.] See Darkei Chesed 21:5 that the Avel may not recite Kaddish until after the burial and one who does so is to be protested, Vetzaruch Iyun Gadol how he omitted all the above opinions, and the opinion of Admur ibid!

Regarding saying Kaddish by the funeral, before burial: Many are accustomed to do so-See Birkeiy Yosef 341:12; Beis Oved; Shalmei Tzibur 178; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:12; Shvus Yaakov 8; Kaf Hachaim 71:17; Yabia Omer 6:33; Gesher Hachaim p. 114; unlike Darkei Chesed 21:5

[109] See below that the Rebbe said Kaddish for his mother and wife while in Aninus

[110] The reason: Although we rule an Onen may not be stringent to even recite blessings or pray, even if there are others who are dealing with the burial, nevertheless, according to all it is permitted for him to go to Shul to recite Kaddish as this honors one’s father. [ibid] As although the Kaddish only helps remove the father from Gehinnom once he enters it, which is after the burial, nevertheless Kaddish has also other benefits for the soul of the father, as it is for this reason that Kaddish is said on Shabbos altogether, and hence it may be recited prior to the burial as atonement for the soul. [Lechem Hapanim, brought in Beis Lechem Yehuda 376]

[111] Igros Kodesh 3:199; 4:107 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:294]; Custom of Rebbe brought in Nitei Gavriel 17:1 [p. 113] and Shulchan Menachem p. 265; Unlike Darkei Chesed 21:5

[112] Shulchan Menachem ibid footnote 21

[113] Pashut; See Nitei Gavriel 55:19

[114] Rama 402:12

[115] Michaber 341:1; Moed Katan 23b

[116] Admur 71:1

Other opinions: Some Rishonim rule an Onen is obligated in blessings. Some Poskim conclude based on this that an Onen is to think the blessing in his mind. [See Nitei Gavriel 16:6 footnote 7]

[117] Admur 71:1; Michaber 341:1 regarding answering Amen for blessings in Birchas Hamazon; Yerushalmi Brachos 3:1

[118] Admur ibid; Michaber 341:1 in name of Yeish Omrim; Tosfos Brachos ibid based on Yerushalmi Brachos 3:1; Rosh Brachos ibid

The reason: Although it does not take any time to answer Amen, and the needs of the corpse are not delayed in any way due to it, nevertheless it is Rabbinically forbidden to do so out of respect for the dead, as the Sages required that one’s mind be free to think of the needs of the deceased, and that he should constantly think of them. [Admur ibid; Taz 71:1; Yerushalmi ibid]

[119] Tosfos Moed Katan 23b in name of Miseches Semaos 6; Pnei Baruch Onen 8

[120] See Nitei Gavriel 20:6

[121] See Sefer Temimei Derech p 28a

[122] See Aruch Hashulchan 341:10; Nitei Gavriel 20:1

[123] Har tzevi 116; Nitei Gavriel 38:6

[124] Kaf Hachaim 224:37 in name of Ashel Avraham; Pnei Baruch Onen 12; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 73:1 footnote 5

Other customs: See other customs brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid.

[125] The reason: As before the burial the Onen is exempt from all Mitzvos and after the burial, since he was exempt at the original sighting, he remains exempt afterwards as well. [Poskim ibid]

[126] Sdei Chemed Brachos 2:18; Piskeiy Teshuvos 229:6

[127] Minchas Shlomo 91:25; Nitei Gavriel 38:8

[128] Chaim Bayad 122; Midrash Tanchuma Parshas Vayechi that so did Yosef on the journey to bury his father; Nitei Gavriel 20:6

[129] Michaber 341:1

[130] Kitzur SHU”A 196:2; Shlamei Tzibur p. 189b

[131] Mahariy Alfandri, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341; Birkeiy Yosef 341:5, Chamudei Daniel and Michtam Ledavid 52, brought in Birkeiy Yosef and Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:4

Other opinions: Some Poskim leave in question as to whether the Onen is obligated to wash prior to eating bread. [Initial reaction of Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid] Other Poskim imply he is required to wash with a blessing. [See Birkeiy Yosef ibid]

[132] The reason: As the Onen is obligated in guarding all negative commands, whether Biblical or Rabbinical, and the Sages forbade eating bread without washing beforehand. Hence the Onen is obligated to wash. [Birkeiy Yosef ibid, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid]

[133] Chamudei Daniel, brought in Birkeiy Yosef 341:5 and Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:4; Michtam Ledavid 52; Shalmei Tizbur p. 175; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 19:3; Pnei Baruch Onen 8

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule an Onen is not required to perform Mayim Achronim. [Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid]

[134] Aruch Hashulchan 341:10; Gesher Hachaim; Nitei Gavriel 20:1; Pnei Baruch Onen 8

[135] M”A 548:8; Tefilah Lemoshe, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341 in accordance to the opinion of Rama in 341:5; Gilyon Maharsha 341

[136] Nitei Gavriel 16:2

[137] See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 21:1 footnote 1

[138] See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 21:4 footnote 4

[139] Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 21:2 footnote 2

[140] M”A 548:8; Simchas Hanefesh, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341 in accordance to the opinion of Rama in 341:5

[141] Michaber 341:1

[142] Michaber 341:1; Moed Katan 23b

[143] Michaber ibid and Moed Katan ibid “He is to eat in another home and if he does not have another home, he is to eat in his friend’s home.”

The reason: As it is considered Loeg Larash to eat in front of the corpse. [Shach 341:3; Taz 341:1] As the Onen should be dealing with the burial, and by spending his time eating it shows that he does not care about the deceased. [Taz ibid]

[144] Shach ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that on Shabbos it is permitted to eat in front of the corpse. [See Taz 341:1 and Rav Akiva Eiger 341:1 who implies that on Shabbos it is permitted being that there is no obligation to bury him on Shabbos. So rules also Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:2 that on Shabbos it is permitted.]

[145] Shach 341:3; Perisha; Bach

[146] See Q&A!

[147] Such as he is in an area of only gentiles and thus has no home of a Jew that he could enter. [Shach 341:4; Bach; Mordechai]

[148] Taz 341:1

[149] Rav Akiva Eiger 341, Tefilah Lemoshe and Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:2 in explanation of Shach 341:3 who prohibits even on Shabbos, thus negating the reason of the Taz that exempts non-relatives

[150] Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid concludes one is to be stringent like the Shach; Kitzur SHU”A 194:11; Pnei Baruch 1:7

[151] Shevet Yehuda 341:1; Kitzur SHU”A 194:11; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 24:6 footnote 10

[152] Aruch Hashulchan 341:8

[153] Darkei Hachaim 2:1

[154] Michaber 341:1; Moed Katan 23b

[155] Literally “Meisav” which means to lean

[156] Shach 341:6; Taz 341:2

[157] See Michaber 552:7 [eat on ground the Seudas Hamafsekes of Tishe Beav] and M”A 552:7 [This follows the same law as an Onen], brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341:1; Machatzis Hashekel on M”A ibid that an Onen must sit on the ground while eating the meal.

[158] P”M 552 A”A 7

[159] Just as is done on Tishe Beav

[160] Aruch Hashulchan 341:9

[161] Miseches Semachos 10; Yerushalmi Berachos 3; Moed Katan, brought in gloss on Taz ibid and Kneses Hagedola; Gesher Hachaim 18:2-3

[162] Aruch Hashulchan 341:9 [However see 341:8-Vetzrauch Iyun!]

[163] Beis Yosef 341 due to the fact that this law was omitted from the Rambam/Tur; See Aruch Hashulchan 341:8 that according to our Shas he may eat as much as he wants although in 341:9 he writes that he should not eat more than necessary. Vetzaruch Iyun

[164] Michaber 341:1; Moed Katan 23b; See Tosfos ibid that from the letter of the law the prohibition is only with meat that is within three days of slaughtering

Discovered death in midst of eating meat: If one discovered the death in midst of eating a meat meal, he must stop eating the meat, although may swallow the food already in his mouth. [Shalmei Tzibur p. 179; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 24:8]

[165] Michaber ibid

[166] Rama ibid; Rabbeinu Yona

[167] M”A 526:21 and Taz 526:6 in name of Midrash; Lechem Hapanim 375; Chochmas Adam 170:5; Kitzur SHU”A 200:7; M”B 526:52; Nitei Gavriel 71:1

[168] Shaareiy Teshuvah 526; Misgeres Hashulchan 200:3

[169] Shaareiy Teshuvah 526; Misgeres Hashulchan 200:3

[170] The reason: As the verse states “Lo Sochlu Al Hadam,” which means that one should not eat until the person is buried. [Poskim ibid]

[171] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[172] Aruch Hashulchan 341:9; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 24:4 footnote 7

[173] Ikarei Hadat 36:53; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 24:4 footnote 7

[174] Leket Yosher p. 86; Mahariy Alfandriy, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341

[175] Mahariy Asad 356; Noda Beyehuda Tinyana 14:214, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:3; Aruch Hashulchan 341:9

[176] Sdei Chemed Aninus 13

[177] Nitei Gavriel 24:3

[178] Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:12 in accordance to Birkeiy Yosef 551 who rules similarly regarding the week of Tishe Beav

[179] Shaareiy Teshuvah 551:11; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:12 in accordance to Noda Beyehuda Tinyana Y.D. 4; See M”A 551:26 that it is even forbidden to eat meat after nightfall of Shalosh Seudos if the congregation Davened Maariv and hence certainly it would be forbidden to eat leftovers.

[180] Michaber 341:5; Tur in name of Miseches Semachos

[181] Although the Onen is not obligated in Kefiyas Hamitah, he may not sleep, or sit, on a bed. [Michaber ibid]

[182] Beir Hagoleh ibid

[183] Beir Heiytiv 387:1; Panim Meiros ibid; Pnei Baruch ibid; Nitei Gavriel 108:8

[184] Michaber 341:1; Rama 341:5; Shach 341:16; Tur in name of Ramban; Tosfos and Mordechai

[185] Michaber 341:5; Tur in name of Miseches Semachos; Kitzur SHU”A 196:6

[186] Kitzur SHU”A ibid

[187] Although the Onen is not obligated in Kefiyas Hamitah, he may not sleep or sit on a bed. [Michaber ibid]

[188] Beir Hagoleh ibid

[189] Teshuvah Meahava 3:341; Maharshag 1:25; Minchas Elazar 2:90; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 15:1

[190] Rama 341:1 and 5; Kol Bo; Hagahos Maimanis in name of Semak

[191] Rama 341:5

[192] Rama 341:1

[193] Beir Hagoleh 341 in name of Semag; Kitzur SHU”A 196:6; Darkei Hachaim 2:135; Noam Megadim 3; Nitei Gavriel 15:3; Pnei Baruch Onen 17

[194] Misgeres Hashulchan on Kitzur SHU”A ibid based on implication of Rama ibid

[195] Rama 341:5

[196] Tur

[197] See Chasam Sofer 324 that the Beis Yosef agrees with this opinion; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:23; Pnei Baruch Onen 17

[198] Rama 341:5

[199] Tur

[200] See Chasam Sofer 324 that the Beis Yosef agrees with this opinion; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:23; Pnei Baruch Onen 17

[201] Rama 341:5

[202] Tur

[203] See Chasam Sofer 324 that the Beis Yosef agrees with this opinion; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:23; Pnei Baruch Onen 17; See Reshimos 5 [printed in Toras Menachem Tziyon p. 25] that the Rebbe Rayatz did not say Shalom to the Rebbe upon meeting him before the funeral

[204] Rama 341:5

[205] Tur

[206] See Chasam Sofer 324 that the Beis Yosef agrees with this opinion; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:23; Pnei Baruch Onen 17

[207] Rama 341:5

[208] Tur

[209] See Chasam Sofer 324 that the Beis Yosef agrees with this opinion; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:23

[210] Darkei Hachaim 2:8; Nitei Gavriel 22:9

[211] Chasam Sofer 324, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 380:4; See also Dudaeiy Sadeh 49; Minchas Elazar 1:76; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 22:2 footnote 6

[212] The reason: As it is forbidden for an Avel to sell his products and hence how can one allow him to sell his business. Furthermore, everyone knows that the entire sale is a trick as after the Aveilus the friend will sell back the business to the Avel. [Chasam Sofer ibid]

[213] Chasam Sofer ibid; Chelkas Yaakov 1:131; See also Divrei Shaul 381

The reason: As it is usually considered a Davar Haved, as well as that some Poskim permit Melacha during Aninus, and it is better that they do it by mistake than on purpose. [Chasam Sofer ibid]

[214] See Michaber and Rama C.M. 195:1

[215] See Teshuvah Meahava 3:341; Maharsham 3:318; Nitei Gavriel 22:7

[216] Michaber 341:5; Ramban in Toras Hadam

[217] The reason: As making him remove his leather shoes will prevent him from properly dealing with the corpse. [Beir Hagoleh ibid]

[218] See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 23:7

[219] Rama 341:5

[220] Tur

[221] See Chasam Sofer 324 that the Beis Yosef agrees with this opinion; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:23

[222] Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:10 in name of Givat Shaul 9

[223] See Givat Shaul ibid that only if this is his Parnasa, may he waiter the meal.

[224] Rashal 70, brought in Taz 341:6; Michaber 360:1 “A corpse and Milah, Milah comes first”; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:20 in name of regarding if the father is the Mohel

[225] Rama in Kesav Yad, brought in Taz ibid; Birkeiy Yosef in name of Beis Yehuda 2:70, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:20 regarding if the father is the Mohel

[226] The reason: In order so the father can say the blessing of Lehachniso, as it is forbidden to say this blessing while he is an Onen. [Rama ibid]

[227] Taz 341:6; Chasam Sofer 325, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:20

[228] Teshuvah Meahavah 1:85, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:20

[229] Birkeiy Yosef in name of Beis Yehuda 2:70, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:20 rules the burial is to be preceded if the father is the Mohel; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:20 implies from Chasam Sofer ibid that the Bris is to be preceded even if the father is the Mohel

[230] See Nitei Gavriel 37:2

[231] See Nitei Gavriel 37:9-10

[232] See Nitei Gavriel 16:16-18; Pnei Baruch 20:

[233] The reason: As it is their day of Simcha and the Chasan and Kallah will be saddened if they are not present. [Gesher ibid]

[234] Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:22, based on Noda Beyehuda Tinyana Y.D. 211; This would certainly apply according to Admur 71:1 in his first opinion and practical custom

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that in such a case the laws of Aninus do not begin until Motzei Shabbos, and he is thus obligated to Daven Mincha. [Yad Eliyahu 16, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid; Rav SZ”A brought in Pnei Baruch Onen 20; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 25:1]

[235] The reason: As although the Onen is unable to bury him then, he may be involved in other preparations, such as the Tachrichin. [ibid]

[236] Birkeiy Yosef 341:14; Aruch Hashulchan 341:16; Nitei Gavriel 27:3

[237] Michaber 341:1

[238] Admur 71:2; Michaber 341:1

[239] Cases in which Aninus applies towards the end of Shabbos: There are cases in which even on Shabbos the laws of Aninus apply, such as if he began walking to the end of the Techum towards the end of Shabbos so he can begin dealing with the corpse right after Shabbos, in which case he is exempt from all Mitzvos at that time. [Michaber O.C. 71:2 and Y.D. 341:1; Admur 71:2]

[240] See below regarding marital relations and bathing; See Sheilas Yaavetz 1:65; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 25:8

[241] The reason: As it is not possible to deal with the needs of the deceased and his burial on Shabbos and Yom Tov, and thus Aninus is not applicable at all. [Admur ibid]

[242] Admur ibid regarding Davening and Shema; Shach 341:7 regarding blessings

[243] Orach Neman 55:9; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

[244] M”A O.C. 548:8; Implication of Maharil Semachos; Gilyon Maharsha 341; Tefilah Lemoshe, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341 in accordance to the opinion of Rama in 341:5; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 27:1 footnote 1

[245] Degul Merivava 548; Bigdei Yesha, brought in M”B 548:21; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 27:1 footnote 2

[246] Aruch Hashulchan 341:16; Nitei Gavriel 27:2

[247] Birkeiy Yosef 341:14; Aruch Hashulchan 341:16; Nitei Gavriel 27:3

[248] M”A O.C. 548:8; Gilyon Maharsha 341; Simchas Hanefesh, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341 in accordance to the opinion of Rama in 341:5

[249] M”B 548:16

[250] Admur 128:55; M”A 128:64; M”B 128:65; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 27:6

[251] The reason: Although an Onen is obligated in all the Mitzvos on Yom Tov, nevertheless, he is not found in a state of joy. [Admur ibid]

[252] Kaf Hachaim 128:254; Piskeiy Teshuvos 128:87; This applies according to all even after the Chevra Kadisha has taken charge, until the second day of Shiva.

[253] M”B 128:158 in name of Peri Chadash and other Poskim

[254] Michaber ibid

[255] Rama ibid; Rabbeinu Yona; See Shach 341:7 that there is no obligation to eat meat and wine on Shabbos, as he could fulfill his obligation of Oneg Shabbos with other foods. See also Admur 242:2; However, on Yom Tov, it is an obligation for the Onen to eat meat and drink wine. [Veshev Hakohen 94, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341]

[256] See Nitei Gavriel 25:9 footnote 16; See ibid 25:10 regarding joining others in Shul for Shalosh Seudos

[257] Michaber 341:1

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that if the Onen is not in the same city as the deceased, he may have marital relations on Shabbos. [Sheilas Yaavetz 1:65; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 25:8]

[258] See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 25:4-5

[259] Michaber 341:1

[260] Rav Akiva Eiger 341

[261] Nitei Gavriel 25:7

[262] Nitei Gavriel 25:7

[263] Admur 71:2; 293:2 regarding one who is traveling after Shabbos; Taz 71:4 regarding Shema; Shvus Yaakov 1:8 in name of certain Rav regarding Maariv, brought and defended in Machatzis Hashekel 71:3; See Nitei Gavriel 28:1-2

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule the Onen is not to say Shema while it is still day. [Bach 71; M”A 71:3; Degul Merivava 71] The reason for this is because the obligation does not apply until night, as on Motzei Shabbos no one Davens before night. [M”A ibid] Alternatively, the reason is because Shema must be said with fear and concentration and the Onen is unable to do so towards night. [Bach ibid; See M”A ibid who questions his ruling; See Machatzis Hashekel ibid, P”M 71 A”A 3, Degul Merivava, Hagahos Rav Akiva Eiger, Levushei Serud] Other Poskim rule that the Onen may certainly not Daven Maariv or say Havdalah, as he is creating a contradiction in his status, as once night begins he is exempt from Maariv and the Davening of Maariv early proclaims that night has begun. [Implication of Michaber 341:1; Shvus Yaakov ibid in dispute of the ruling he brought from a certain Rav; See Machatzis Hashekel ibid who defends this Rav’s ruling]

[264] The reason: Although the congregation does not read the Shema of Maariv until after nightfall of Motzei Shabbos, nevertheless since the Onen will be exempt from Shema on Motzei Shabbos it is therefore better for him not to nullify the acceptance of the yoke of heaven, so long as he is able to read it prior to nightfall. The majority of communities read the night Shema throughout the week while it is still day, and thus the Onen may rely on this for this Shabbos. It goes without saying that he is to Daven Maariv [Shemoneh Esrei] of Motzei Shabbos while it is still day, from Pelag Hamincha and onwards, as this is considered like actual night regarding prayer according to Rebbe Yehuda. Now, even an Onen whose entire life followed the Sages [and delays Maariv until after nightfall] may nevertheless rely on the opinion of Rebbe Yehuda even on Motzei Shabbos in a case of Oness that he will be unable to Daven at night, as explained in 293. [Admur ibid; Taz ibid]

[265] Michaber 341:2

[266] Admur 71:2 regarding Shema and Maariv and in Admur 293:2 he applies the same rule regarding saying Havdalah early if one is traveling right after Shabbos; Shvus Yaakov 1:8 in name of certain Rav that the Onen should also say Havdalah early; Machatzis Hashekel 71:3 defends this Rav’s ruling]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the Onen may not say Havdalah, as he is creating a contradiction in his status, as once night begins, he is exempt from Havdalah and the saying of Havdalah early proclaims that night has begun. [Implication of Michaber 341:1; Shvus Yaakov ibid in dispute of the ruling he brought from a certain Rav; See Machatzis Hashekel ibid who defends this Rav’s ruling]

[267] Bach in name of Rashal brought in Magen Avraham 293:4

[268] Admur 293:3

[269] Rama ibid; Elya Raba 288:3; Tosfos Shabbos 288:3; Mateh Yehuda 288:10; P”M 288 M”Z 2; Aruch Hashulchan 288:6; M”B 288:4; Kaf Hachaim 288:9; Piskeiy Teshuvos 288:2

The source: As it states in the Midrash and Yerushalmi that Rebbe Akiva was crying due to sadness, due to the passing of his son. [Tosfos Shabbos ibid]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to cry out of sadness on Shabbos, even if one desires to do so in order to release the pain. [Taz ibid]

[270] Amudei Or 76, brought in Kaf Hachaim 288:10

[271] See Nitei Gavriel 29:2 footnote 3

[272] Admur 71:3; Michaber O.C. 71:2; 548:5; Yoreh Deah 341:1 [“On Shabbos and Yom Tov… and he is obligated in all the Mitzvos… unless he plans to bury the body through gentiles”]; Shach 399:6; Taz 399:3; Mateh Ephraim 585:6-8; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 30:1; 31:3

[273] See Shulchan Aruch Admur and Michaber chapter 526 in length for the details of burying on Yom Tov

[274] The reason: As the mourners must arrange a coffin and Tachrichin. [Admur ibid]

[275] Some Poskim rule one may choose to delay the burial until the next day in order for Jews to perform it. [Nitei Gavriel Yom Tov 50:4 in name of: Rashal Beitza 1:10; Kneses Hagedola; Elya Raba; Chemed Moshe 2; Mor Uketzia; Olas Shabbos Chochmas Adam 170:1; Kitzur SHU”A in Lechem Hapanim 200] See, however, Admur 526:2, M”A 548:7 and Levushei Serud ibid that they are obligated to bury him that day through gentiles and only if they cannot find a gentile to do so, are they exempt;

[276] Admur 71:3; Michaber 71:2; Y.D. 341:1; Rosh Moed Katan

[277] The reason: As it is permitted to bury the corpse on the second day of Yom Tov. [Admur ibid]

[278] Admur 496:5 and 526:6; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:15

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the second day of Rosh Hashanah has the same status as the first day. [Implication of Shach 341:9; Beir Heiytiv 341:7; See Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid]

[279] Implication of Admur 71:3, Michaber 71:2 and 341:1; M”A 548:5; Tur and Beis Yosef 393; Levushei Serud 548:5; P”M 548 A”A 8; M”B 548:20; See Michaber O.C. 548:5 who implies that he is only an Onen if they want to bury him that day, however see Mefarshim there [Levushei Serud; P”M 548 A”A 8; M”B ibid] that this means “is able to bury him if he desired to”; Nitei Gavriel Yom Tov 47:5

[280] Such as there is a strike in the cemeteries etc. If, however, one is simply delaying the burial for the sake of relatives and the like then he is an Onen. [Nitei Gavriel ibid]

[281] M”A 548:8 [mentioned in Admur 71:3]; M”E 596:8; Explanation of Michaber 548:5, as brought in Levushei Serud, P”M 548 A”A 8, M”B ibid; Nitei Gavriel Yom Tov 47:5; See Noda Beyehuda Tinayana 211, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 548:5

[282] Igros Moshe Y.D. 3:161

[283] Shevet Halevi 8:171; Piskeiy Teshuvos 548:7

[284] Yeshuos Yaakov 71:4, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:16

[285] M”A 548:8 [mentioned in Rav Akiva Eiger 341:1; Degul Merivava 341]; Taz 341:3; Maharil; Derisha 341; Maharam Melublin 73

[286] The reason: As it is uncommon to bury at night. [Taz ibid]

[287] Zichron Yitzchak 6, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:17; If, however, he did not hear the rooster crow before Alos, then the blessing may not be recited even after the burial. [See ibid]

[288] Shach 341:9; Nekudos Hakesef 341; Beis Yehuda 5, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 548:5

[289] Michaber O.C. 548:5; Y.D. 399:1; Taz 399:3

[290] M”A O.C. 548:8; Implication of Maharil Semachos; Gilyon Maharsha 341; Tefilah Lemoshe, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341 in accordance to the opinion of Rama in 341:5

[291] Chacham Tzevi 100, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:5; Degul Merivava 548; Bigdei Yesha, brought in M”B 548:21; Daas Eish 7, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:1

[292] The reason: As there is a Biblical command of Simcha on Yom Tov, and it thus overrides the Rabbinical prohibition of learning Torah which is due to Simcha. [Eish Daas ibid]

[293] M”A 548:5; See Chapter 27 Halacha 5D!

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that if the Shiva will begin only after the Yom Tov, then one may read the Parsha of the Yom Tov, even though there is no obligation of Shnayim Mikra. [Shaareiy Teshuvah 548:2]

[294] M”A O.C. 548:8; Gilyon Maharsha 341; Simchas Hanefesh, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341 in accordance to the opinion of Rama in 341:5; However, according to Eish Daas ibid, it is permitted for him to get an Aliyah, as explains Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid

[295] Regarding immersing on Erev Yom Kippur-see Admur 606:14 and Nitei Gavriel 31:6; See Chapter 27 Halacha 7!

[296] Darkei Hachaim 2:33

[297] Bikureiy Yaakov 640:19; brought in M”B 640:31; Kaf Hachaim 640:49

[298] Possibility offered in P”M 640 A”A 10 that only Sheiv Veal Taaseh is exempt, brought in M”B ibid; Darkei Hachaim 2:3

[299] See Nitei Gavriel 32:4

[300] See Nitei Gavriel 32 footnote 10

[301] See Nitei Gavriel 32:8

[302] Das Eish 7, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 399:1; SS”K 65:37; See M”B 548:16; Nitei Gavriel 32:10

[303] M”B 670:12

[304] M”B ibid; Some Poskim however rule it is questionable whether an Onen is obligated in lighting candles, and hence if no one is available to light in his stead, he is to light without a blessing. [Erech Hashulchan 670:3; Kaf Hachaim 670:20; So brings also M”B ibid in name of P”M]  

[305] Elya Raba 670:19; Erech Hashulchan 670:3; M”B ibid; Kaf Hachaim ibid; P”M 670 M”Z 4; Gesher Hachaim p. 171:16; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 33:1

[306] See Derech Hachaim; Piskeiy Teshuvos 676:1 footnote 2

[307] Admur 71:1 “And he is exempt from all blessing, even from answering Amen, and it is Rabbinically forbidden for him to be stringent upon himself in this”; Michaber Y.D. 341:1 regarding all blessings; Maharam Shick Y.D. 342 that this law applies likewise towards Chanukah candles.

[308] Elya Raba 670:19; Kerem Shlomo Y.D. 342; Kaf Hachaim 670:20; Piskeiy Teshuvos 676:1; M”B 670:12 mentions a dispute in this matter, and does not give a final arbitration.

The reason: As this is a Mitzvah of Persumei Nissa.

[309] Erech Hashulchan 670:3; P”M 670 M”Z 4; Derech Hachaim; M”B ibid; Kaf Hachaim 670:20

[310] 696:7

[311] Michaber ibid

[312] Orchos Chaim; The reason the Michaber writes this law in the name of “some opinions” is because he did not find this ruling in other Poskim, and it is not due to the fact he does not hold of their ruling. [Kaf Hachaim 696:39]

[313] The reason: As a positive command for an individual to mourn does not push off a positive command of the public to rejoice on Purim which is a command of the Sages and is equivalent to a Biblical command. [Michaber ibid; M”A 548:13; Mamar Mordechai 696:3; See Nehar Shalom 696:4; Kaf Hachaim 696:44]

[314] Kaf Hachaim 696:39

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule an Onen may not eat meat and drink wine on Purim. [Veshev Hakohen 96, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:11]

[315] M”A 696:15; Elya Raba 696:10; M”B 696:24; Kaf Hachaim 696:42 and 46

[316] Shaar Hatziyon 696:28; There he negates the understanding from the Derech Hachaim that the Onen may eat meat and drink wine even on the 15th. He establishes this to be referring to the 15th in Jerusalem.

[317] Rama ibid

[318] The Rama establishes this ruling to only refer to the night of Purim. However by the day of Purim one is obligated to first bury the corpse and only afterwards may he read the Megillah, in which case he will no longer be an Onen by the time the Megillah is read. Hence according to the Rama an Onen is only to read the Megillah at night, as by day he is to first bury the body and end his Aninus before the reading.

Other Opinions: The M”A 696:14 questions this ruling of the Rama to require the Onen to Daven based on the fact he may eat meat and drink wine, as the two matters are completely irrelevant of each other. The M”A concludes with a Tzaruch Iyun.

[319] M”B 696:25; Derech Hachaim 2; Kaf Hachaim 696:46

[320] Conclusion of Kaf Hachaim ibid despite implication from M”B ibid that one is not to Daven; Chayeh Adam 135:38 rules like Rama that one is to Daven and so rules Derech Hachaim in the laws of Onen.

Other Opinions: The M”A 696:14 questions whether one is to Daven at night. Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11 concludes one is not to Daven.

[321] Rama ibid; Vetzaruch Iyun as back then they never buried at night, however in today’s times perhaps if the Chevra Kadisha is willing to bury at night then the burial is to take place before the reading.

[322] Rama 696:7; Michaber and Rama 687:2

[323] M”A 687:4; 696:16; M”B 696:26

Background:

The Michaber 687:2 rules that all Mitzvos are delayed in order to read the Megillah. However this is with exception to the burial of a corpse [Meis Mitzvah] which precedes the reading of Megillah. The Rama ibid establishes this law to refer to a case that one is able to both bury the corpse and read the Megillah afterwards, while it is still Purim. The M”A ibid however argues that the above law only applies by a Meis Mitzvah, a corpse that does not have anyone to bury him, however by a regular corpse, the Megillah reading precedes. So rules Shiltei Giborim; Bach, and so is implied from Or Zarua. The M”A 696:16 concludes that so is the custom.

[324] M”A ibid; M”B ibid

Other Opinions: The Elya Raba 696:11 rules that the Onen is to delay fulfilling his Mitzvah of Megillah reading until after the burial.

[325] Chayeh Adam brought in Shaar Hatziyon 696:30; Upashut as even the M”A [see next footnote] concludes that according to the second opinion in 71:1 one fulfills his obligation beforehand.

[326] M”A 696:16; M”B 696:26; Kaf Hachaim 696:47

Background:

The M”A ibid questions that seemingly only the non-mourners should be allowed to precede the Megillah reading to the burial, however the mourners themselves are considered an Onen and hence are exempt from all Mitzvos including Megillah reading. Hence how can they fulfill their obligation with the reading of the Megillah prior to the burial? The M”A ibid hence concludes that although the custom is for the Onen to attend the Megillah reading in Shul, he nevertheless is to repeat the reading, without a blessing, after the burial. Nevertheless he also concludes that according to the second opinion in 71:1, one does fulfill his obligation with the Shul’s reading.

[327] M”A 696:16; M”B 696:26; Admur 71:1; Elya Raba 696:11; Chayeh Adam 154:38; Derech Hachaim 1

The law if the burial is being taken care of by others: If the burial is being taken care of by others some rule that the Onen may Daven and read Shema. [M”A ibid] Practically the custom is like the opinion that holds an Onen may not do so, even if he is in another city. [71:1; Michaber Yoreh Deah 341; Shach 341:5] However see Shulchan Menachem 5:267 that the Rebbe followed the dissenting opinion and ended his Aninus as soon as he knew the burial was no longer under his responsibility. This occurred twice by the death of his brother and Mother. Practically the accepted ruling amongst Rabbanim is that if the mourner does not plan to attend the funeral, such as if it is taking place in a different country, and the burial is being taken care of by others, then he is to begin his Aveilus immediately.

[328] Kaf Hachaim 696:47 based on second opinion in 71:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11; Now although there Admur concludes that the custom is to be stringent, nevertheless since from the Rama here it is implied that there is no Aninus on Purim in such a case, therefore one may be lenient. [See Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 56] In any event the Rebbe [brought in previous footnote] was accustomed like the second opinion in 71:1.

[329] M”A 696:16; M”B 696:26; Derech Hachaim 1; Chayeh Adam 154:38; Kaf Hachaim 696:47; Admur 38:5; Kitzur SH”A 141:23; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11

[330] Elya Raba 696:11 brought in P”M 696 A”A 16 and Shaar Hatziyon 696:32; Mishmeres Shalom 80 [if he passed away before Purim]

[331] Shulchan Menachem 5:271

[332] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11

[333] According to the Rama there is no Aninus on Purim in a case that the burial will not take place that day. [Aruch Hashulchan 696:11] Hence even if there is no one available to take care of the body, if the burial will not take place on Purim he is obligated in Megillah and Davening. However according to the M”A ibid he is considered an Onen until after the burial, and hence is only exempt if there are others which are taking care of the corpse.

[334] M”A 696:16 as brought in Kaf Hachaim 696:47; M”B 696:26; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

Other Opinions: Elya Raba 696:11 rules one is to put on Tefillin on Purim even in such a case.

[335] Matzeivas Moshe 1; Mishmeres Shalom Onen 40; Gesher Hachaim 18; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 54

[336] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11

[337] The reason for this is because the entire reason the Onen may hear Megillah on Purim is because he is allowed to eat meat and wine, as stated in the Michaber. However since on Friday he is not able to eat meat and wine, being there is no Seuda obligation on Friday of Purim Meshulash, therefore he is also exempt from Davening and Megillah.

[338] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11 in name of Purim Hameshulash

[339] Beis Yehuda, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6; See Peri Megadim in Pesicha Koleles 2:28, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7, that an Onen is exempt from the Mitzvah of Tashbisu and Baal Yeirae.

[340] Teshuvah Meahava, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6; See Nitei Gavriel 35:1

[341] Peri Megadim in Pesicha Koleles 2:28, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7

[342] Chomos Yerushalayim 267, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:7

[343] See Nitei Gavriel 35:2-3

[344] Nitei Gavriel 35:4

[345] M”A 548:8 in name of Maharam 73; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 35:7 footnote 13

[346] Maharam ibid; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 35:7 footnote 14

[347] P”M 480 M”Z 1; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 35:7 footnote 14

[348] Admur 472:4; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 35:9 footnote 20-21

[349] Noda Beyehuda O.C. 1:27, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:6; Gilyon Maharsha

[350] Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 36:1 footnote 1

[351] M”B 559:24 in name of Elya Raba

[352] Admur 71:1 in parentheses; Taz 71:2; Misgeres Hashulchan 341; The following Poskim agree to this ruling if the Chevra Kadisha has taken over the proceedings of the body: Beir Heiytiv 71:4; P”M 71 M”Z 2; Chochmas Adam 153:1; M”B 71:7

[353] The reason: As this honors one’s father. [ibid] This ruling of Admur is placed in parentheses possibly due to the other opinions mentioned above that argue. [Chikrei Halachos 5:50]

[354] Igros Kodesh 3:199; 4:107 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:294]; Custom of Rebbe brought in Nitei Gavriel 17:1 [p. 113] and Shulchan Menachem p. 265

[355] Pashut; See Nitei Gavriel 55:19

[356] Admur 71:1 based on M”A 71:1; Implication of Levushei Serud and Machatzis Hashekel on M”A ibid; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:17; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 71:4 and Nitei Gavriel 18:8 footnote 18

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule if the burial took place prior to the 4th hour of the day then one may recite Birchas Hashachar up until the 4th hour of the day. [Elya Raba 71:1 based on his understanding of M”A ibid; Beis Meir 76; Siddur Derech Hachaim; Chochmas Adam 153:7; Shulchan Shlomo 71:1; Kitzur SHU”A 19:7; M”B 71:4 in his understanding of M”A ibid; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 71:4 and Nitei Gavriel 18:8 footnote 16; Pnei Baruch Onen 16] Others rule one may say the blessing the entire day. [Peri Chadash 46:2; P”M 71 A”A 1; Mamar Mordechai 46:10 and 71:3; Nehar Shalom 71:2; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim ibid and Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 17] Some rule that according to all one may at least say the blessings of Shelo Asani Goy/Eved/Isha. [Dvar Moshe 3:13; M”B ibid]

[357] The reason: As since at the time of the blessing’s obligation, which is upon him awakening, he was exempt from the blessings due to his state of Aninus, therefore he is not required to make them up, and if he does so it is a blessing in vain. [Admur ibid]

[358] See Tehilah Ledavid 71:1

[359] If, however, the burial took place before Also prior to him awaking from a set sleep, then after Alos it is already considered the next morning and the Avel is to recite the morning blessings as usual.

[360] See Zichron Yitzchak 6, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:17;

The reason: the blessings cannot be recited after Alos as he was exempt at the time of awakening which is when his personal obligation begins. [Admur ibid states the time of obligation is when he awakens] Now although we rule like the opinion that all Birchas Hashachar may be recited after Alos even if one does not benefit, and thus according to this opinion the obligation only begins after Alos, nevertheless, they too agree that one may say blessings before Alos, and hence one must say that even according to them the obligation begins before Alos upon awakening for those matters which one received benefit and it is only for those matters that he did not receive benefit that the obligation begins after Alos. Accordingly, however, those blessings that he did not receive their benefit before Alos, such as if he did not hear the rooster crow, he should be allowed to say it after Alos. See Zichron Yitzchak ibid

[361] Dvar Moshe 3 Y.D. 13; Shaareiy Teshuvah 71:1; Shalmei Tzibur p. 182; Ashel Avraham Butchach 71; Kitzur SHU”A 196:7; M”B 71:4; Derech Hachaim; Kaf Hachaim 71:4; Nitei Gavriel 18:21; 81:4

[362] Dvar Moshe ibid

[363] See Dvar Moshe ibid; Upashut that there is no reason to differentiate between whether the Kevurah was by day or at night and either way he is obligated in the Mitzvah.

[364] Admur 71:1; M”A 71:1; Maharil Semachos

[365] Beis Meir 71; Kitzur SHU”A 196:7; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 186 footnote 13; Pnei Baruch Onen 15

[366] See Nitei Gavriel 18:6 footnote 14

[367] Admur 71:1; M”A 71:1; Michaber 341:2; Rosh 27:1

[368] As opposed to Birchos Shema which may not be said after the 4th hour of the day, however according to the custom of Chassidim to Daven the full Shacharis up until midday, then here too he is to certainly Daven the entire Shacharis, starting from Karbanos/Pesukei Dezimra, and even Birchas Shema even though it is being said after the 4th hour of the day. [See Nitei Gavriel 18:6 footnote 14]

[369] The reason: As he was exempt from Shacharis due to his state of Aninus. [Admur ibid]

[370] See Diggul Merivava 341; Ashel Avraham Butchach 71:1 in name of Maharam Ashel, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:18; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 18:15 footnote 29

[371] Aruch Hashulchan 341:24; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 18:15 footnote 28

[372] Admur 71:1

[373] The reason: As he was exempt from Maariv at night due to his state of Aninus. [Admur ibid]

[374] See Diggul Merivava 341; Ashel Avraham Butchach 71:1 in name of Maharam Ashel, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:18; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 18:15 footnote 29

[375] Aruch Hashulchan 341:24; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 18:15 footnote 28

[376] Nitei Gavriel 81:8; See Admur 286:2; Michaber 286:1; Brachos 28a

[377] Nitei Gavriel 18:23; 81:9; See Admur 488:3

[378] Michaber 341:2; Tur 341 in name of Maharam of Rothenberg; Taz 396:1; Shach 396:1 and Nekudos Hakesef; See Nitei Gavriel 29

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule the Onen is not to recite Havdalah even after the burial, as once he is exempt the exemption remains in place even later. [Tur in name of Rosh; Rosh [student of Maharam] in end of Moed Katan; brought in Taz 396:1; See Taz ibid why this ruling here of the Michaber like the Maharam does not contradict his ruling his ruling in 396:3 like the Rosh even though it is the same dispute; See also Shach 396:1 and Nekudos Hakesef] Other Poskim rule an Onen is obligated in Havdalah even before the burial. [Sefer Haitim in name of Rav Shmuel Hanagid]

[379] Admur 299:8; Rosh Brachos 3:2

[380] The reason: As the time of Havdalah even initially extends until Tuesday and is not considered Tashlumin. Therefore, although the mourner was exempt to begin with, now he has become obligated after the burial. [Taz ibid; Shach ibid and in Nekudos Hakesef]

[381] Kitzur SHU”A 196:10; Darkei Hachaim 3:9; Gesher Hachaim 20:2; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 83 footnote 7 and 29:7 and 118:8

[382] 299:9

[383] 1st opinion in Michaber 299:1; Admur 299:8; Rama 299:6; Shach 341:12; Taz 341:6

Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule that past Sunday one can no longer say Havdalah. [2nd opinion brought in Michaber 299:6] Based on this, some Poskim rule that he is to say Havdalah without Hashem’s name. [Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeitzei 2; Kaf Hachaim 299:26 and 3] Furthermore, some Poskim rule that from Sunday night and onwards the obligation of Havdalah is only Tashlumin [Chasam Sofer 17; Sdei Chemed Asifas Dinim Mareches Hei 15], and based on the explanation of the Taz 396:1, according to these Poskim the Avel is exempt from Havdalah if the burial takes place on Sunday night or later. However, the Taz 341:6 and Shach 341:12 explicitly extend the period of Havdalah until Tuesday night, and so writes the Rebbe in Likkutei Sichos 31 Yisro 2 footnote 42 that according to Admur ibid, Havdalah is never Tashlumin and can initially be done until Tuesday night. 

[384] Poskim ibid

[385] Admur 299:8; Rama 299:6; 1st and 2nd opinion in Michaber 299:6

Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule if one ate prior to saying Havdalah over wine, then on Sunday or onwards he can no longer say Havdalah. [3rd opinion brought in Michaber 299:6] Admur rules like the first opinion

[386] Admur 299:8; Rosh Brachos 3:2

[387] The reason: As the time of Havdalah even initially extends until Tuesday and is not considered Tashlumin. Therefore, although the mourner was exempt to begin with now he has become obligated after the burial. [Taz ibid; Shach ibid and in Nekudos Hakesef]

[388] So rules Kol Bo 59; Rav Akiva Eiger 299:6; Beis Ephraim; Mishneh Berurah 299:15; Piskeiy Teshuvos 299:4; Nitei Gavriel 30:15; 81:13; SSH”K and so infers Sdei Chemed [Asifas Dinim Mareches Heim 15] from Admur 299:8 which allows saying Havdalah of Shabbos the next day even if one purposely skipped Havdalah at night, thus proving that the next say is not a Din Tashlumin, but rather a continuation of the obligation.

Other Poskim: Many other Poskim listed by him, that one may not make up Havdalah even the next day, as Safek Brachos Lehakel. [Sdei Chemed himself ibid; Chida in Birkeiy Yosef 491:1; Machazik Bracha 491:1; Chesed Leavraham 491:2; Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeitzei 23 and many other Poskim listed in Sdei Chemed ibid]

[389] Panim Meiros 2:149 [said Havdalah], brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:19; Beis David 164 [Heard Havdalah], brought in Birkeiy Yosef 341:19; Shalmei Tzibur p. 180; Chaim Bayad 125; Shevet Halevi 3:167; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 29:3 footnote 6-7; See Birkeiy Yosef ibid that there is no difference between hearing and saying in this regard. See however Nesiv Hachaim 247:8 who rules like the Panim Meiros regarding if he said Havdalah and like the Birkeiy Yosef [brought next] regarding if he heard Havdalah. Perhaps he holds that there is an Anan Sahadi that one does not want to be Yotzei against Halacha and hence even though he had in mind to be Yotzei it’s as if he did not have in mind-Vetzaruch Iyun!

[390] Birkeiy Yosef ibid in name of Hagahos Maimanis Avel 4, Rosh Brachos 3 in name of Maharam, Rabbeinu Yerucham Nesiv who all rule explicitly that if he heard he is not Yotzei. The Birkeiy Yosef himself does not conclusively write like either opinion, although strongly questions the former opinion

[391] Daas Torah 341 based on Yalkut Shimoni that Berurya delayed telling him of the son’s death until after he made Havdalah, brought in Nitei Gavriel 29:4; See Michaber 402:12

[392] Piskeiy Teshuvos 296:6; Nitei Gavriel 118:9

[393] Pischeiy Teshuvah 376:2 and 391:1 in name of Har Karmel 20; Darkei Hachaim 8:10; Pnei Baruch 20:2

[394] Nitei Gavriel ibid in name of Mishnas Yaakov 192b

[395] Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 18; Heard from Rabbi Leibel Groner

[396] Chochmas Adam153; Derech Hachaim; Pischeiy Teshuvah 34:5; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 19:5 footnote 7

[397] Aruch Hashulchan 341:17; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 19:5 footnote 8

[398] See Nitei Gavriel 20:2; 81:2

[399] Shut Magidos 2:163

[400] The reason: As the main institution of lighting candles is from sunset until a half hour after nightfall. Past this time, the lighting is a mere act of Tashlumin. [P”M ibid; See Ravaya 972; Admur 71:1]

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