What Is the Chabad Custom Regarding Minhagei Aveilus During Sefirat HaOmer?
Question
I would like clarification regarding the official Chabad custom (minhag Chabad) concerning the mourning practices (avelut) observed during Sefirat HaOmer. There are many different customs: some people end the mourning period on Lag BaOmer, others the day after, and still others stop three days before Shavuot. I have always heard that in Chabad the custom is to be more stringent. Some say that we end the mourning customs three days before Shavuot. Can you please clarify what the actual Chabad custom is, how long the mourning practices continue, and on what basis Chabad is stricter than many other communities?
Answer
Yes, you are correct that the Chabad custom is generally more stringent regarding mourning practices during Sefirat HaOmer. According to the accepted Chabad minhag, the mourning customs are observed throughout nearly the entire period of Sefirat HaOmer, extending until Erev Shavuot, with the primary and well-known exception of Lag BaOmer, when mourning practices are suspended. Although there is no single explicit source in classic Chabad literature that formally codifies this practice in one place, this custom is a long-standing, transmitted minhag in Chabad. It is supported both by recorded practices of the Alter Rebbe and by later Chabad tradition. Historically, Chabad did not conduct weddings until after Shavuos. In later years, the Rebbe permitted weddings during the three days of Hagbalah (the days immediately preceding Shavuot), but this permission was granted due to the importance and urgency of marriage, not because the general mourning practices were lifted entirely. The broader approach of stringency regarding mourning customs during the Omer period remained intact.
Explanation
The halachic and conceptual basis for this Chabad practice rests on several foundations.
In the Ashkenazi Achronim: The Mateh Moshe, as well as other Ashkenazi Achronim from the 17th century, records the custom in Europe to observe mourning practices for the entire span of Sefirat HaOmer, aside from Lag BaOmer. He writes that some are accustomed not to cut their hair throughout the entire Omer period, with the exception of Lag BaOmer. This reflects a valid halachic approach, and Chabad follows this more comprehensive model. This stringency of the Mateh Moshe is not based on the kabbalistic warning of the Arizal regarding haircuts, since even according to the Arizal Lag BaOmer would not necessarily be a full exception. Likewise, the Chabad’s practice is rooted in mourning customs themselves, not mystical restrictions.
The conceptual reasoning is tied to how Chazal describe the deaths of Rabbi Akiva’s students. They passed away during the period between Pesach and Shavuot, but not continuously every single day. The Gemara states that they died on 33 days during that span, excluding Shabbos and days when tachanun is not recited. As a result, throughout the full 49-day period of the Omer there were days on which the tragedy occurred. Therefore, the entire Omer period retains an element of mourning, and Chabad reflects this reality by maintaining the mourning practices throughout, with Lag BaOmer as the established exception when the deaths ceased.
In the Chabad literature: The source of the Chabad custom in Chabad literature begins with Admur, Shulchan Aruch O.C. 493:6, where multiple valid approaches to Omer mourning are presented. Admur records that one who wishes may adopt a stringent position encompassing all opinions. Divrei Nechemia 34 clarifies that this effectively results in two primary models:
- ending mourning on Lag BaOmer, or
- maintaining mourning customs throughout the entire Sefirah.
Chabad follows the second approach.
Clear evidence of this custom appears in Igrot Kodesh 8:318 and 9:106, where the Rebbe writes that weddings are not conducted until after Shavuot. This is further reinforced in Likkutei Sichos vol. 37 p. 123 fn. 8, which explicitly notes that although many communities permit haircuts and weddings after Lag BaOmer, the Chabad custom is to prohibit them even afterward, based on Admur’s ruling.
Notably, aside for the above statements, there is no explicit source that states precisely when during the Omer mourning customs begin and end in Chabad.
Another potential source which is explicitly recorded in Chabad literature is regarding haircuts. The Rebbe Rashab discouraged taking haircuts during the three days before Shavuot until Erev Shavuot. However, it is possible that this stringency is rooted in the Kabbalistic position of the Arizal, not in the avelut customs of Sefirat HaOmer. As such, it may be conceptually separate and not foundational to the Chabad mourning custom per se.
In summary, Chabad’s greater stringency during Sefirat HaOmer is based on:
- An ancient Ashkenazi custom recorded in early Achronim.
- A valid halachic option cited by the Alter Rebbe,
- Long-standing transmitted Chabad custom,
- Historical Chabad practice regarding weddings,
- Historical Chabad practice regarding haircuts
Sources:
See Admur 493:6; Mateh Moshe 688; Levush; Elya Raba 493:6; Divrei Nechemia 34; Igros Kodesh 8:318 and 9:106; Likkutei Sichos 37 p. 123 footnote 8 “Although some are accustomed to permit haircuts and weddings after Lag Baomer, nevertheless the Chabad custom is to prohibit also after Lag BaOmer, as rules Admur in 493:6”; Nitei Gavriel 48:7
