Is a Mechitza Required at a Sheva Brachos Meal and may one recite Shehasimcha Bimiono if a Mechitza is not present
Question:
Rabbi, at our upcoming Sheva Brachos, do we really need to set up a Mechitza between men and women, even if it’s just close family and friends? Also if a Mechitza is not present may one recite Shehasimcha Bimiono by Birchas Hamazon?
Answer:
Ideally, a Mechitza should be set up at a Sheva Brachos meal, just as at a wedding. However, many are lenient, especially for small family-only gatherings, and some authorities permit a lower or partial divider. Practically, those who recite Shehasimcha Bimiono even when a Mechitza is not present have upon whom to rely. However, at the very least, the men and women should be positioned on separate tables.
Explanation:
The question of whether a Mechitza is necessary at a Sheva Brachos meal is rooted in the same halachic debate as for a wedding meal. [In fact. the original debate in the Poskim was not regarding the wedding meal per se but rather regarding any Sheva Brachos meal and if the blessing of Shehasimcha Bimiono may be recited.] Regarding this matter we find a debate: Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to recite “Shehasimcha Bimiono” at a Sheva Brachos meal or wedding meal where there is mixed seating of men and women, or where there is no Mechitza separating the sections. The concern is that the evil inclination is present in such settings, and according to this opinion, mixed seating is forbidden and a Mechitza is required. Other Poskim, however, permit having a wedding meal or Sheva Brachos without a Mechitza, and allow reciting “Shehasimcha Bimiono” even in such circumstances. Historically, there was some leniency in this matter, even among segments of Orthodox Jewry, including at weddings. However, in today’s times, the widespread custom among Chareidi Jewry is to have a Mechitza at the wedding venue to separate men and women. The Rebbe’s opinion is that this is an actual requirement according to Shulchan Aruch for all opinions, as the basis for leniency is no longer applicable.
Hence, the conclusions brought regarding wedding meal should apply likewise regarding any of the Sheva Brachos meal. Thus, since the widespread custom, following the Rebbe’s stringent ruling, is to have a Mechitza at a wedding meal, therefore the same should apply to a Sheva Brachos. Still, many are more lenient at Sheva Brachos, especially when the meal is limited to immediate family and not open to friends or acquaintances. Furthermore, we find certain leniencies suggested by a Sheva Brachos such as that some Poskim rule that a Mechitza of ten Tefach (about 80–100 cm) suffices, and it need not fully block the view between men and women. In such cases, the blessing “Shehasimcha Bimiono” may still be recited. The Poskim also discuss whether separate seating alone is enough or if a physical divider is required, with opinions varying based on the level of intermingling and the nature of the event.
Practically, the best practice is to have a Mechitza (partition) at a Sheva Brachos event, especially if the meal is open to the public and not just immediate family. The Mechitza does not need to be a full, floor-to-ceiling divider stretching across the entire room; a general partition between the men’s and women’s sides is sufficient.
If it is not possible to set up a Mechitza, then at the very least, men and women should be seated at separate tables, and if possible, in separate areas of the room or even in two different rooms.
If men and women are seated together without any separation, then “Shehasimcha Bimiono” should not be recited at the meal.
Sources:
Machmirim to require Mechitza, otherwise omit Shehasimcha Bimiono: Beis Shmuel 62:11 regarding same room; Bach E.H. 62 regarding same room; Sefer Chassidim 393 and 1120 regarding mixed seating; Sefer Haminhagim Tirana regarding lack of Mechitza which allow men and women to see each other; Kitzur SHU”A 149:1; M”B 415:2
Makilim: Levush O.C. Vol. 2 [Levush Hachor] Minhagim 36 [end of Sefer, last Halacha], brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah E.H. 62:18, in possible defense of the custom to be lenient, after quoting the Sefer Chassidim ibid he concludes “today we are no longer accustomed to be careful in this, and possibly the reason for this is because today’s women are much more accustomed to be found amongst men, and hence there is not as much sinful thought caused by this, as we consider them like a “white geese” [see Brachos 20b] due to having become accustomed to then being amongst us, and since they have become used to it, they have become used to it and may G-d bless us to see the joy of the coming of our Redeemer and the building of our holy temple.” [See Hiskashrus 588:11 that perhaps even the Levush ibid only referred to a small Sheva Brachos meal, but not to a Wedding meal]; Beis Meir E.H. 62; Igros Moshe O.C. 1:41 “I question whether there is a prohibition and I more lean to say that there is not”; Y.D. 4:24-3 “A wedding is a private event, and a Mechitza is only needed by a public event”; Yabia Omer E.H. 3:19 that although initially one should have a Mechitza by a wedding, nonetheless, Bedieved one may rely on the Heter of the Levush; Bnei Banim 1:35 in length who proves that a Mechitza is not required although in his first approach rules that mixed seating remains forbidden, although in his final approach he concludes that even this is not a clear prohibition; Other opinions brought above regarding a Mechitza even though they agree Shehasimcha Bimiono should not be said
The Rebbe: Igros Kodesh 9:1, printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:50, “I have heard that your family opposes having the wedding of your daughter and Chasan in accordance to the rulings of the Shulchan Aruch which requires there to be a Mechitza between the men and women……..The Shulchan Aruch sets the rule that a wedding must be done with a Mechitza” and in footnote 1 “Regarding what the Levush wrote that in today’s times we view the woman like a white geese….. Due to our great sins we see that nowadays this is not the case”; Letter printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:50 p. 224; see however Hiskashrus 588:11 who suggests this applies mainly to weddings, not small Sheva Brachos meals.
Type of Divider: Shevet Halevi 8:281; Hiskashrus 588:11; Sefer Chassidim; Sefer Minhagim Tirana
