From the Rav’s Desk: 1) Manicure during the three weeks; 2) Getting ears pierced during the three weeks; 3) Giving end of year present to one’s teacher who is in mourning

1. Question: [Monday, 18^th Tamuz 5781]

May one get a manicure during the three weeks?

Answer:

It is permitted to do so up until the week of Tishe Beav, although some are stringent starting from the nine days.

Explanation: There is no listed restriction against getting a manicure or pedicure during the three weeks, other than the issue with cutting the nails, which is only restricted during the week of Tishe Beav according to most Poskim. Nonetheless, some are accustomed to diminish in makeup and jewelry throughout the nine days, and seemingly those who follow this custom should likewise not get a pedicure and manicure during this time.

Sources: See regarding nail cutting: M”A 551:11; Taz 551:13; Elya Raba 551:7; Kneses Hagedola 551:41; Mateh Yehuda 551:12; Chayeh Adam 133:17; Noda Beyehuda Kama Y.D. 99; Kitzur SHU”A 122:5; Derech Hachaim 4; Ben Ish Chaiy Devarim 13; M”B 551:20; Kaf Hachaim 551:48; See regarding diminishing and jewelry and makeup: Ashel Avraham Butchach 551

2. Question: [Monday, 18^th Tamuz 5781]

May a girl get her ears pierced during the three weeks?

Answer:

From the letter of the law, it is permitted to do so up until the nine days. Nonetheless, some are stringent.

Explanation: There is no listed restriction against getting the ears pierced during the three weeks, although during the nine days this is to be avoided due to that we avoid purchasing jewelry, and even diminish in wearing jewelry, during this time. Some are even stringent against purchasing jewelry throughout the entire three weeks and in such a case they would avoid ear piercing throughout the three weeks. Another reason to avoid ear piercing throughout the three weeks is due to the aspect of danger, as pierced ears are prone to infection.

Sources: See regarding purchasing and wearing new jewelry during the nine days: Michaber 551:2; Ashel Avraham Butchach 551; Igros Moshe 3:80-82; Piskeiy Teshuvos 551:11

3. Question: [Monday, 18^th Tamuz 5781]

Our daughter’s teacher recently got up from Shiva and we want to know if her class is allowed to give her an end of year present, as is accustomed to be done annually at the end of the year in our school?

Answer:

Yes, an end of year present may be given as usual.

Explanation: Although in general it is forbidden to give a present to someone who is within the year of mourning for a parent, or within 30 days of mourning for another relative, nonetheless, in the above case it is allowed being that the present is given in exchange for her teaching your daughter throughout the year and it is accustomed to be done annually for all teachers, therefore it is more similar to a payment than it is to a present, and thereby is permitted to be given even to a teacher who is in mourning, just as it is permitted to give a tip to a waitress or counselor who is within a year of mourning.

Sources: See regarding the prohibition of giving a present to a mourner: Rama Y.D. 385:3 regarding Avel for parent; Rama O.C. 696:6; Maharil 31; Kitzur SHU”A 212:2 adds all Aveilim for Shloshim; Nitei Gavriel 14:9; See regarding the allowance to give a present to a mourner if it is an obligatory payment: Divrei Malkiel 237; Piskeiy Teshuvah 149; Sheivet Hakehasi 4:188; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:10