Daily Tanya 27th Nissan End of Chapter 43: The love of a Baal Teshuvah

(LY) 27th Nissan

1. Preceding loving Hashem to fearing Hashem:

• At times, the above lower love described as Ahavas Olam precedes fear of G-d. This is dependent on the quality of the contemplation which founded it.
• Chasadim can descend before Gevuros: Contemplation [of G-d’s greatness], called Daas, incorporates both Chesed and Gevurah [and arouses the feeling of] both love and fear, as Chesed is love while Gevura is fear. Now, at times the Chasadim descend and become revealed prior to the Gevuros.

2. The love of a Baal Teshuvah:

• Precedes his fear of G-d: Due to the above ability for love to occasionally precede fear, it is possible for a Rasha, and one who has sinned, to perform repentance through love that is aroused within his heart upon him remembering Hashem his G-d.
• The revealed love includes fear in a concealed manner: Nonetheless, consequently fear is also included within this love, although it is found in a state of minuteness and concealment, meaning that his fear is limited to simply fearing the sin, as he fears to commit rebellion against Him [and not that there is an actual fear of G-d Himself]. However, [only] the love is found in a conscious state within his heart and mind [while the fear is in his subconscious, and in a state of unawareness].

3. The proper order to follow is to first arouse fear:

• Preceding love is not the norm: The above ability to precede love to fear is a rare occurrence that is prescribed only in specific scenarios through Divine providence, [who plants within the penitent sinner thoughts of love to help motivate his repentance].
• Elazar Ben Durdaya: A case example of this occurred with Rebbe Elazar Ben Durdaya^[1] [who lived his entire life as a sinner, visiting every harlot known to man, until he was stricken with an arousal of Teshuvah due to love, and died within his passion and ecstasy of repentance love].
• The norm-To first arouse fear: However, the normal order to be followed by all people, and that is within the power of each individual to choose, is to first arouse fear, the lower fear, in at least its state of minuteness so he separate himself from evil and perform good through shining his G-dly soul with the light of Torah and Mitzvos. Afterwards he is to shine it with the light of love.
• Hint in word Veahavta: This is hinted to in the fact that the word “Veahavta” is twice the numerical value of Or, [implying that it includes two lights; first the light that shines to the soul through performing Torah and Mitzvos, and second the light of love].

[1] See Avoda Zara 17a