Daily Rambam (1) Avel Chapter 5: The Matters forbidden for an Avel During Shiva (Monday, 23rd Teves)

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Chapter 5: The Matters forbidden for an Avel During Shiva

  1. Overview

A mourner is forbidden 11 activities:

  • Cutting hair
  • Laundering clothes
  • Washing or anointing
  • Sexual relations
  • Wearing shoes
  • Performing work
  • Studying Torah
  • Standing bed upright (must overturn)
  • Leaving head uncovered
  • Greeting others
  • Engaging in frivolity or celebrations

On the first day, these are Scriptural; on the remaining seven days, Rabbinic.

  1. Cutting Hair
  • Source: Leviticus 10:6.
  • Includes head hair, beard, and body hair.
  • Forbidden to cut or trim; nails may not be cut with a utensil (biting is allowed).
  • If haircut started before hearing of death, may finish.

  1. Laundering Clothes & Washing
  • Source: II Samuel 14:2.
  • Forbidden to launder or wear freshly pressed white clothes.
  • Washing/anointing entire body forbidden; permitted to wash face, hands, feet in cold water.
  • Removing filth is allowed.

  1. Anointing
  • Forbidden even partially, except to remove dirt.
  • Washing is considered part of anointing.

  1. Sexual Relations & Marriage
  • Source: II Samuel 12:24.
  • Forbidden to engage in relations or marry during mourning.
  • May remain in solitude with spouse.

  1. Wearing Shoes
  • Source: Ezekiel 24:17.
  • Forbidden except when traveling; must remove upon entering a city.

  1. Performing Work
  • Source: Amos 8:10.
  • Forbidden to work, trade, or travel for business.
  • First 3 days: even poor cannot work.
  • After 3 days: indigent may work privately at home.
  • Women may spin fabric at home.
  • Partners must close store for 7 days.
  • Tasks allowed via others to prevent financial loss (e.g., olives, flax).
  • Sharecroppers may work; renters may continue if pre-arranged.

  1. Torah Study
  • Source: Ezekiel 24:17.
  • Forbidden to read Torah, Prophets, Mishnah, Midrash, Halachot.
  • If many need instruction, may whisper to a neighbor who relays to spokesman.

  1. Overturning Beds
  • Source: II Samuel 13:31.
  • Must overturn all beds in all homes.
  • Exceptions: beds for storage, dargesh (release straps).
  • Must sleep on overturned bed.

  1. Covering Head
  • Source: Ezekiel 24:17.
  • Must cover head and partially mouth with sash.

  1. Greeting Others
  • Source: Ezekiel 24:17.
  • First 3 days: do not respond to greetings.
  • Days 4–7: respond if greeted.
  • Days 7–30: may greet others, but others should not greet him.
  • For parents: no greetings for 12 months.
  • Avoid frivolity, laughter, and celebrations.

About The Author

Rabbi Yaakov Goldstein is a 6th generation descendent of the famous Chief Rabbi of Izhmir, Rav Yehoshua Avraham Krispin, who authored a number of Sefarim, and was a colleague of Rav Chaim Falagi, and father in-law of the Pesach Hadvir. He currently lives with his wife Shayna, and twelve children K”H, in Tzfas, Israel. Rabbi Goldstein received Semicha from Rabbi Schneur Zalman Labkowski of the Tomchei Temimim headquarters in 2005 and served as a chaplain in the Lotar/Kalatz and K9 unit of the IDF from years 2005-2008. He is also a certified Shochet, and has performed Hashgacha work in slaughterhouses. Rabbi Goldstein is the director of Shulchanaruchharav.com, the world’s leading web-based Halacha database, and is the director of the Home Study Semicha Program, a self-study web-based Semicha program. He is a prolific author of over 50 Sefarim studied by a wide range of readers throughout the world, which is used regularly in Semicha programs around the globe. He is a world renowned Posek, answering questions to a web-based market, and serves as a local Posek, Rav, and Lecturer, in the Tzemach Tzedek community Shul in Tzefas, Israel. His many classes can be heard both from his website, Vimeo and YouTube channel. Students can join live to classes given in the Tzemach Tzedek Shul, through the “בית חבד צפת Chabad Tsfat” YouTube channel.