From the Rav’s Desk: Mourner getting haircut prior to the passing of 3 months if reprimanded

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  1. Question: [Tuesday, 20th Marcheshvan 5782]

I have just entered my third month in mourning for the loss of my father, and after Davening an individual came over to me and told me I should get a haircut as my hair looks really long and unkempt. May I get a haircut, or must I wait for three months to pass?

 

Answer:

You may get a haircut.

Explanation: After the passing of a parent, one must wait a minimum of one month, and in addition wait until he is reprimanded, until he may get a haircut. The definition of being reprimanded is literal, that someone tells him that he looks unkempt with his long hair. The concept of waiting three months for the measurement of reprimanding, which is recorded in the Poskim, is not in addition to the literal reprimanding, but instead of it, in the event that no one has reprimanded him. So is understood by the vast majority of Poskim, and so is the final ruling, despite us finding authorities who are stringent to require three months regardless of the reprimanding. In general, we rule leniently in matters of morning, especially in this case in which he is a lone authority.

Sources: See Michaber Y.D. 380:1 and 390:1; 390:4; Rama 390:4; Moed Katan 22b; Agudah; Maharil; Ran; Beis Yosef 390; Rav Akiva Eiger 390 in name of Elya Raba; Kitzur SHU”A 211:12; Maharshag 2:214; Peri Hasadeh 2:24; Mishmeres Shalom Gimmel 50; Daas Kedoshim 390; Nitei Gavriel 3:14; See Divrei Nechemia Yoreh Deah 26 for a general discussion of this law, and for the opinion that you need to always wait three months

About The Author

Rabbi Yaakov Goldstein is a 6th generation descendent of the famous Chief Rabbi of Izhmir, Rav Yehoshua Avraham Krispin, who authored a number of Sefarim, and was a colleague of Rav Chaim Falagi, and father in-law of the Pesach Hadvir. He currently lives with his wife Shayna, and twelve children K”H, in Tzfas, Israel. Rabbi Goldstein received Semicha from Rabbi Schneur Zalman Labkowski of the Tomchei Temimim headquarters in 2005 and served as a chaplain in the Lotar/Kalatz and K9 unit of the IDF from years 2005-2008. He is also a certified Shochet, and has performed Hashgacha work in slaughterhouses. Rabbi Goldstein is the director of Shulchanaruchharav.com, the world’s leading web-based Halacha database, and is the director of the Home Study Semicha Program, a self-study web-based Semicha program. He is a prolific author of over 50 Sefarim studied by a wide range of readers throughout the world, which is used regularly in Semicha programs around the globe. He is a world renowned Posek, answering questions to a web-based market, and serves as a local Posek, Rav, and Lecturer, in the Tzemach Tzedek community Shul in Tzefas, Israel. His many classes can be heard both from his website, Vimeo and YouTube channel. Students can join live to classes given in the Tzemach Tzedek Shul, through the “בית חבד צפת Chabad Tsfat” YouTube channel.

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