Why some teens act as if they know everything and their parents know nothing

E. The Bittul of animals versus humans – Why grown animals are more submissive than even young children:[1]

We readily recognize that animals have a unique capability of being tamed and subjugated by their master, to the point of absolute submission. Even a very young child is able to make an animal submissive to him and have it follow the child’s every order. What gives the human this unique capability to rule and control the animal kingdom? The answer is the intellect. Animals are lacking wisdom and intellect and therefore contain much greater Bittul, potential submissiveness. Humans on the other hand are intellectual, and this intellect is what gives the human the ego to control and  take charge of others. Intellect comes hand-in-hand together with grandeur and desire to control others. The intellect serves as a garment which conceals the level of submission found in the essence of the soul of the human. In essence, every creation contains natural submissiveness similar to the animal, which results from its aspect of Ayin from which all creation derives. The human intellect, which is the level of Chochmah, conceals this level of Ayin, and hence causes him to feel entitlement and elevation over others which leads to his natural sense of rule and control of those beneath him. This itself is due to the fact that human intellect which is the level of Chochmah comes from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, which gives man the sense of self independence and hence draws him to feed his ego. This quality of intellect and ego is found even in a small child, and hence even a small child lacks submission and desires to not be controlled by others, and is able to control others on a lower level than he, such as in the animal kingdom. [The above teaching of the Alter Rebbe is highly revealing with regards to understanding the human psyche, and from it we can learn several points: 1) Having a higher sense of intellect and comprehension can naturally lead to feelings of entitlement over those of lower intellectual status, hence lending to the creation of the hierarchy systems in our society, and the desire of the upper class to rule and govern the country irrelevant of whether they are the majority. 2) Dictators are a natural symptom of the ego and entitlement that a human naturally has as a result of his intellect which draws him to want to control everything beneath him, which includes not just animals but also all the citizens of his country. 3) Babies and toddlers can naturally be extremely rebellious to their parents wishes despite never having gone through a system in society which can influence them to have such behaviors. Who influenced the toddler to throw a tantrum because he wants to wear a red shirt rather than the white shirt which his mommy is trying to dress him with? The answer is that this is not due to any outside influence, and is rather due to the natural ego that results from the attribute of intellect found in the child which does not allow him to be controlled by others and rather wants to take control of others. 4) Studying and mastering the wisdom’s of Torah, or Lehavdil the external wisdom’s of the world for the sake of Parnasa, is certainly a most prestigious goal and accomplishment. Nonetheless, it comes with the danger of giving one a higher sense of entitlement, as the stronger the intellect, the stronger the ego. Thus, together with one’s intellectual growth, one must likewise work on his personality and Bittul to Hashem and others. While superficially a person greatly excelling in Torah study and Torah knowledge may seem virtuous, it may be the root and source of his downfall if it strengthens his ego to the point he is incapable of controlling his lusts and loathing of others. On this the Talmud states, “If one does not merit his Torah study becomes a poison.” 5) Perhaps the above can also explain the known phenomenon of some children of teenage years who behave as if there is nothing they don’t know and that their parents have very little knowledge.[2] Perhaps this is due to the fact that they have just begun to develop their intellectual abilities after becoming Bar or Bas Mitzvah, and are indeed using it to understand the world and gather information from whatever sources are available to them. This new sense of intellectual power brings together with it a feeling of hierarchy and entitlement over others, i.e. a boosted ego. It is similar to how a young teenager acts on the road with his brand-new convertible, versus a middle-age man driving an expensive Mercedes. The young teenager may act as if he owns the road as the excitement of his newly found toy knows no bounds. So too, the child’s fresh introduction to his intellect and his use of it gives him a false sense of greatness and understanding.]

[1] Likkutei Torah p. 75a

[2] An old proverb states that when a teenager turns 20 years old he asks his parents how they became so smart in only one day.

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