1. The significance of age three: [Likkutei Torah Kedoshim]

The age of three holds much significance in Jewish thought and literature. For example, it states that Avraham recognized his creator at age three. Likewise, a girl is not considered fit for intimacy and hence cannot be consecrated through intimacy until age three. The reason for this is because prior to age 3 a girls not considered fit for unity. The mystical reason behind all this is as follows: The first three years of a person’s life correspond to the three completely unclean Kelipos, [during which one is not capable of truly giving up of himself for another, whether it be G-d or another person in marriage].

• The divine lesson: Any parent knows how frustrating it is to deal with a two-year-olds temper tantrum. Toddlers tend to be overly selfish, as is expressed in their over possessiveness of items that may not necessarily even be theirs, and their inability to share with others. It is literally often, “their way or the highway [i.e. mom driving away to escape the screams].” As much as we try to educate them to be kind and share it often falls on deaf ears. The above teaching sheds some light onto this behavior and can help parents manage dealing with their child during this stage of selfishness and self-centeredness. Prior to age 3, the divine energy that shines onto the child’s animal soul to enliven it comes from a level of Kelipa which is the epitome of ego and self-centeredness, and does not contain any space for another person to be invited inside. Therefore, the only thing that exists to the child prior to age three is what they want and desire. The wants and desires of other people is completely irrelevant to them. For this exact reason, they cannot marry. After reaching age 3, their level of nurture from Kelipa changes and they now begin to nurture from a level of evil that contains also good. Now is the main time to begin their education in acts of sharing and selflessness. How interesting is it that countless studies have found that by age 3 children begin to show genuine compassion and empathy.[1] We now have learned the reason behind it.

[1] See https://choc.org/primary-care/ages-stages/3-years/  “How Does My 3-Year-Old Child Interact With Others? While every child is unique and will develop different personalities, the following are some of the common behavioral traits that may be present in your child: Begins to share and likes to play with other children. Can take turns. Temper tantrums are less frequent. Begins to show feelings in socially acceptable ways.”