The list of possible exemptions and exceptions to the ban of Rabbeinu Gershom:[1]

A. The ban of polygamy versus the ban against divorcing one’s life against her will:[2]

Some Poskim[3] rule that the ban against polygamy is more severe than the ban against divorcing one’s wife against her will, and hence even in those cases to be explained where we exempt one from following the ban, we only permit one to marry a second wife if he can’t divorce her against her will. Other Poskim[4], however, rule that the ban against polygamy is less severe than the ban against divorcing against her will, and hence in those cases to be explained where we exempt one from following the ban, we permit one to marry a second wife rather than to divorce her against her will. Other Poskim[5] rule that the two bans are of equal weight, and hence in those cases to be explained where we exempt one from following the ban, the husband gets to choose whichever ban he desires to break, whether the ban against polygamy, or the ban against divorcing his wife against her will.

B. Consent – If one’s wife consents to her husband marrying his second wife:[6]

Some Poskim[7] leave in question as to whether the ban against polygamy is applicable even if one’s wife gives her consent.[8] Other Poskim[9] rule that if she gives her consent, then it is permitted for him to marry another wife, so long as she has not retracted from her consent. Other Poskim[10], however, rule that the ban applies even if one’s wife consents to her husband marrying a second wife, and so is the final ruling and custom.

C. Meureses – Engaged versus married:

First wife:[11] Some Poskim[12] rule that the ban against polygamy only applies if one is married to two wives with Kiddushin and Nissuin, however, if he has one wife who is only engaged [i.e. Meureses] and has not yet become a Nesua, then he may marry a second wife, if he offers his Arusa a bill of divorce and she refuses to accept it.[13] However, the ban against divorcing one’s wife against her will applies even to one’s bride who was Halachically engaged [i.e. Meureses] but has not yet become a Nesua, unless there is justifiable reason to divorce her.  Other Poskim[14] rule that the ban was never applied to a Meureses, neither the ban against divorcing her against her will, nor the ban against polygamy.

Meureses-2^nd wife:[15] Some Poskim[16] rule that the ban against polygamy only applies if one actually marries a second wife. However, if he does not marry her, even if he becomes engaged to her [i.e. Meureses], then he has not transgressed the ban. According to this approach, the ban is not transgressed if one has relations out of wedlock with a single girl [although other prohibitions are trangerssed]. Likewise, it does not apply if one has a concubine [according to those Poskim who rule that it is permitted to have a concubine].[17] Other Poskim[18] however argue that the ban applies even against becoming engaged to a second wife, or even against relations with a single girl out of wedlock, and certainly against having a concubine.

Civil marriage:[19] Some Poskim[20] rule that the ban against polygamy applies even against entering into a civil marriage with a second woman.

D. For the sake of a Mitzvah – Peru Urevu; Yibum:[21]

Some Poskim[22] rule that the ban against polygamy or divorcing one’s wife against her will, was never applied to a case of a Mitzvah. Other Poskim[23], however, rule that the ban applies even in such a case. In all cases, one may only marry a second wife if his first wife refuses to receive a Get.[24]

For sake of Peru Urevu-Married ten years without children:[25] Some Poskim[26] rule that the ban was never applied to a case in which the husband is obligated according to Halacha to divorce his wife or marry a second wife, such as if he was married to his first wife for 10 years and has yet to merit children. In such a case, he may choose to marry a second wife for the sake of having children even according to the ban of Rabbeinu Gershom. Other Poskim[27], however, rule that the ban applies even in such a case. [Practically, so is the main custom for Ashkenazim to be stringent unless there are other reasons to be lenient.[28] However, Sephardim are lenient in this matter.[29]]

For sake of Yibum:[30] Some Poskim[31] rule that the ban was never applied to a case of Yibum, and hence a man may marry his Yevama to fulfill the mitzvah of Yibum, even if he is already married to another woman. Other Poskim[32], however, rule that the ban applies even to a case of Yibum, and hence he must perform Chalitza to his Yevama if he is already married.

Heter 100 Rabbis:[33] Even in a case that we permit a man to marry a second wife for the sake of a mitzvah, he must receive a Heter of 100 Rabbis in order to do so.

E. Wife is forbidden:

Wife is Mumeres:[34] Some Poskim[35] rule that the bans do not apply in the event that one’s wife became an apostate. Some Poskim[36] rule that in such a case one should disregard the ban against divorcing one’s wife against her will, and divorce his apostate first wife even against her will and even not in her presence, such as through appointing an emissary to acquire the bill of divorce on her behalf. Other Poskim[37], however, rule that it is not necessary to divorce the first wife against her will, and he may go ahead and marry a second wife without divorcing her. Practically, the main approach follows this latter opinion, unless one lives in an area which has accepted the first approach.[38]

Wife is prohibited to him in marriage:[39] In the event that one married a woman who is prohibited to him in marriage, then the ban of Rabbeinu Gershom does not apply in the event that he is unable to divorce her, and in such case he may marry another wife. According to many Poskim, it is not necessary to even receive an allowance from 100 rabbis for this purpose, although the custom is to do so regardless.

Obligated to divorce wife:[40] In the event that one is Halachically obligated to divorce his wife, such as if she became prohibited due to adultery or she is Overes Al Daas, then the ban of Rabbeinu Gershom does not apply in the event that he is unable to divorce her, and in such case he may marry another wife. According to many Poskim, it is not necessary to even receive an allowance from 100 rabbis for this purpose, although the custom is to do so regardless.

F. Wife became insane:[41]

The bans of Rabbeinu Gershom do not apply in the event that one’s wife became insane.[42] Nonetheless, the Poskim[43] conclude that we do not permit to divorce her against her will and rather he is to marry an additional wife in her stead. [Other Poskim[44] argue on the above and rule that both bans apply and he may not to divorce her against her will or marry another wife. Practically, we do not rule like this opinion.]

Heter 100 Rabbis:[45] Even in the above case, he must also receive a Heter of 100 Rabbis.

Kesuba money and Get:[46] In such a case that the husband plans on marrying a second wife prior to divorcing his first wife who became insane, the husband must give her Kesuba money and a Get to a Beis Din to hold until she gets better, in which case he must immediately divorce her.

G. Wife ran away:[47]

The ban does not apply if one’s wife has run away and disappeared for several years. It is disputed amongst Poskim[48] as to whether in such a case he must receive a Heter of 100 Rabbis.

H. Wife is Moredes:[49]

Some Poskim[50] rule that the bans do not apply in the event that one’s wife is defined as a Moredes. Some Poskim[51], however, rule that this only applies after the passing of 12 months from when she became a Moredes.

I. Wife is terminally ill or deformed:[52]

Some Poskim rule that the bans do not apply in the event that one’s wife is terminally ill or is deformed with certain blemishes to the point that he can’t remain married to her. Nonetheless, this may only be done with the allowance of 100 Rabbis.

______________________________________________________________

[1] Status of rights of first wife in those scenarios in which he may marry a second wife: See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 16 pp. 441-447 regarding giving a Get on her behalf to the Beis Din [in the event that the first wife is not currently able to be divorced, such as if she lost her mind] as well as regarding the alimony responsibilities of the husband to his first wife. [See Rama 119:6]

[2] See Pischeiy Teshuvah 1:16; Noda Beyehuda E.H. 1; See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 p. 423 footnotes 524-530

[3] See Chelkas Mechokeik 77:16; 119:7; Beis Shmuel 77:19; Maharsham 7:211; Shut Ranach 41

[4] Yeshuos Malko; Noda Beyehuda E.H. 1; Chasam Sofer E.H. 1:103; 2:167

[5] Maharam 138 in name of Raavan; Maharam Padvah 13; Radbaz 1:700

[6] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 p. 380

[7] Shut Haran 48, brought in Beis Yosef Y.D. 228; Mahariy Ben Lev 2; Hagahos Rav Akiva Eiger E.H. 1:7

[8] The reason: As aside for the fact that it is possible that the reason behind the ban is for the benefit of the husband, and hence the wife does not have the right to forgive it, furthermore, even if one were to resolve that it’s reason was solely for the benefit of the wife, perhaps the ban was placed even if he gets her consent, in order to prevent her from consenting through coercion. On the other hand, it is possible to conclude that the ban was placed only for her benefit, and she therefore has the right to forgive it just like any other benefit which he was given by the sages. [Shut Haran ibid]

[9] Maharshach 1:20, brought in Kneses Hagedola 1:17; Eiyn Yitzchak E.H. 1:4; Maharam Shick E.H. 4

[10] Darkei Moshe 1:8; Beis Shmuel 1:20; Kneses Hagedola 1:17; Otzer Haposkim 1:61-5; Chaim Veshalom 26; Bnei Avraham 52

[11] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 7, pp. 399-402 footnotes 235-265

Marriage of Cheresh or Chireshes: See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 p. 381 footnotes 39 for a dispute in this matter

[12] Michaber and Rama E.H. 1:10; Maharik Shoresh 101, brought in Beis Yosef 1:10 and Darkei Moshe 1:9; Suggestion in Maharam Padvah 14

[13] Rama ibid

[14] Darkei Moshe 1:9 in name of Rashba and Maharik Shoresh 101

[15] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 p. 381

[16] Maharashdam Y.D. 91; E.H. 78; Kneses Hagedola 1:59 in name of: Maharam Padova; Maharalnach and Radbaz; See Mayim Rabim 4; Beir Heiytiv Y.D. 217:2; Sdei Chemed Mareches Ishus 2:13; Tzemach Tzedek 129; Erech Lechem 1:10; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 34

[17] Kneses Hagedola 1:24; Sheilas Yaavetz 15; Ateres Yehoshua 1:10; See Maharam Padova 14; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 37

[18] Rama E.H. 33:1 [regarding Penuya]; Rashal in Yam Shel Shlomo Yevamos 2:11 [regarding Pilegesh]; Terumas Hadeshen 209 [regarding Penuya and Meureses]; Kneses Hagedola 1:59 [regarding Meureses] in name of: Maharik Shoresh 101; Maharibal 113; Binyamin Zev 43; Mordechi Kiddushin 522 and Kesubos 286; Hagahos Semak 186 [regarding Pilegesh]; See Noda Beyehuda Tinyana E.H. 129; Avnei Nezer E.H. 1:2-7; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 33 and 36

[19] See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 38

[20] Kneses Hagedola 1:24; Igros Moshe E.H. 1:55; See Binyamin Zev 110; Zecher Simcha 172; Otzer Haposkim 1:79

[21] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 9-10 pp. 408-411

Raped Naarah Besula: See Hagahos Rav Akiva Eiger E.H. 177:2; Machaneh Chaim 3:5

[22] 1^st opinion in Rama E.H. 1:10 and Stam Yeish Omrim in Rama 119:6; Rashba 3:446 [regarding married ten years without children], brought in Beis Yosef 1:10; Maharam Padvah 14 and in name of Mordechai in name of Rabbeinu Tam; Sheilas Yaavetz 2:15; Darkei Moshe 1:9 in name of Mordechai

[23] 2^nd opinion in Rama E.H. 1:10; Darkei Moshe 1:9 in name of Or Zarua 1:739 that so applies even according to those opinions who permit Yibum; Hagahos Mordechai Yevamos 110 and Kesubos 291 and 287; Nimukei Yosef Yevamos 20a on Rif

[24] Beis Shmuel 119:8; Chelkas Mechokeik 119:7; Maharam Padvah ibid

[25] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 10 pp. 411-415; Yabia Omer E.H. 7:2

[26] Rama E.H. 1:10; Rashba 3:446, brought in Beis Yosef 1:10; Mordechai Yevamos 30; Rashba 280; Nimukei Yosef Yevamos 64a; Maharam Padvah 19; Darkei Moshe 1:9 in name of Ritva Yevamos 64a in name of Rabbanei Tzarfat and other Poskim; See Rivash 91, brought in Beis Yosef 1:9; Many Poskim in Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 383

[27] 2^nd opinion in Rama E.H. 1:10; Darkei Moshe 1:9 in name of Or Zarua 1:739 that so applies even according to those opinions who permit Yibum; Hagahos Mordechai Yevamos 110 and Kesubos 291 and 287; Nimukei Yosef Yevamos 20a on Rif; Chaim Veshalom 2:16; Many Poskim in Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnotes 395-397

[28] See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid pp. 412-413 for all the details and opinions on the subject and that in practice, it is customary to be stringent; Likkutei Sichos 15:480, printed in Shulchan Menachem 659, regarding a Sephardic couple who has waited 10 years without having children and that he desires to marry another wife for the sake of having children. The Rebbe replied with the following points: A) As an Ashkenazi, he cannot give him a Heter in this matter, and he must contact Sephardic rabbis for a ruling in his scenario although since he is Sephardic, it will be much easier for him to receive an allowance. B) He should appease his wife by explaining to her that it is written in Sefarim that not everyone in life has the job of having children some men and women, especially women, have a different purpose. C) By taking care of another person’s child, and raising them, it is considered as if one has birthed that child. D) It is proper to write a post role in her own; See Yabia Omer E.H. 7:2

[29] See Yabia Omer E.H. 7:2 for a response regarding the allowance especially for Sephardim to marry a second wife after not having children for 10 years. He gravely protested against the position of the Ashkenazi chief rabbi to not sign on such allowances. [According to Israeli law at that time, which was since changed, both of the Israeli chief Rabbis were required to sign the permission for one to marry a second wife, and Ashkenazi chief rabbi refused to sign even for Sephardim, hence in essence making the allowance impractical]

[30] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 9 pp. 408-411

[31] Michaber E.H. 1:10; 1^st opinion in Rama ibid; Nimukei Yosef Yevamos 14b on Rif in name of Tosafus; Ritva Yevamos 44a, brought in Darkei Moshe 1:9 who concludes that one who is lenient has upon whom to rely; Hateruma 133, brought in Mordecha Yevamos 31; Ravayah; Maharil Seder Chalitza; Shut Rav Eliyahu Mizrachi 14; Poskim in Encyclopedia Talmudit 346-351

[32] 2^nd opinion in Rama E.H. 1:10; Darkei Moshe 1:9 in name of Hagahos Mordechai Yevamos 110 in name of Rav Avigdar; Hagahos Mordechai Kesubos 291 and 287;; Maharik 91 and 102; Nimukei Yosef Yevamos 20a on Rif; Mahariy Mintz; Or Zarua 1:738-739; Maharach Or Zarua 212; Poskim in Encyclopedia Talmudit 352

[33] Beis Shmuel 1:23; 119:8; Chelkas Mechokeik 1:16; 119:7 Hagahos Ashri Yevamos 14; Maharil 202; Bach 1:6 and Shut Bach 93; See Encyclopedia ibid footnote 683 and 686

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that from the letter of the law, 100 rabbis are not required to sign on the allowance, and that so may be done in time of need. [Shut Rav Akiva Eiger Tinyana 44; Tzemach Tzedek 1; See Encyclopedia ibid footnotes 686-689]

[34] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 11 p. 416 footnotes 444-451

[35] Rama E.H. 1:10; Terumas Hadeshen 256, brought in Beis Yosef 1:10

[36] 1^st opinion in Rama E.H. 1:10; 140:5; Custom of Austria, recorded in Terumas Hadeshen 256, brought in Beis Yosef 1:10;

[37] 2^nd opinion in Rama E.H. 1:10;Custom of Reinitz, recorded in Terumas Hadeshen 256, brought in Beis Yosef 1:10;

[38] Rama E.H. 1:10

[39] Rama E.H. 1:10; Beis Shmuel 1:23; Maharik Shhoresh 101; Rashba 1:557; Chasam Sofer E.H. 1:3; Imrei Eish 2:10; Igros Moshe E.H. 1:2; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid pp. 415-420 footnotes 383-443

[40] Rama E.H. 1:10; Maharik Shoresh 101; Rashba 1:557; Chasam Sofer E.H. 1:3; Imrei Eish 2:10; Avodas Hagershoni 37; Shev Yaakov 1; Maharsham 7:59; Igros Moshe E.H. 1:2; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid pp. 416-419 footnotes 440-480

[41] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 15 pp. 435-441 footnotes 666-743

Definition of insane: See Pischeiy Teshuvah 1:16 and Encyclopedia ibid footnote 690-724 as to the degree of insanity required

[42] Michaber E.H. 119:6; Darkei Moshe 1:10 in name of Maharik 101 and Rashba, brought in Beis Shmuel 1:23jj

[43] Michaber E.H. 119:6; Rama E.H. 1:10; Rabbeinu Simcha in Maharshal 65; Hagahos Ashri Yevamos 14; Maharil 102; Bach 1 and 119; Encyclopedia ibid footnote 671

[44] Ravayah and Rabbeinu Efraim, brought in Maharshal 65 and Yam Shel Shlomo Yevamos 14; Encyclopedia ibid footnote 669

[45] Beis Shmuel 1:23; 119:8; Chelkas Mechokeik 1:16; 119:7 Hagahos Ashri Yevamos 14; Maharil 202; Bach 1:6 and Shut Bach 93; Chasam Sofer 1 E.H. 4; Achiezer 1:10; See Encyclopedia ibid footnote 683 and 686

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that from the letter of the law, 100 rabbis are not required to sign on the allowance, and that so may be done in time of need. [Shut Rav Akiva Eiger Tinyana 44; Tzemach Tzedek 1; See Encyclopedia ibid footnotes 686-689]

[46] Beis Shmuel 1:23; Chelkas Mechokeik 119:12; Bach 1:6 and 119:7; See Encyclopedia ibid footnotes 765-813

[47] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 13 pp. 426-429  footnote 561

[48] See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnotes 515-518; Tzemach Tzedek 6:7 is lenient; Chasam Sofer E.H. 2:167 is stringent; See  Achiezer 1:10

[49] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 12 pp. 420-426 footnotes 492-493

[50] Chelkas Mechokeik E.H. 77:15; Beis Shmuel 1:19

[51] Shut Maharam 442; Shut Rashab 860

[52] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 12 pp. 429-435 footnotes 596-665; Michaber E.H. 79:3; Yabia Omer E.H. 7:2

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