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Shabbos – Having relations on Friday night:[1]

*See Halacha 3D for the details of Onah for a Torah scholar on Friday night and relevant Q&A!

A. The Auspiciousness of relations on Friday night:

Marital relations are one of the pleasures of Shabbos [and it is therefore a Mitzvah to establish one’s minimum Onah obligation to occur on Shabbos[2] and intend to fulfil the Mitzvah of Oneg Shabbos by doing so].[3] [Likewise, based on Kabbalah, Friday night is a very auspicious time for intimacy, as explained below in the Q&A section. Accordingly, the Arizal writes that on Shabbos a person is obligated to love his wife and be intimate with her.[4]] Therefore, the set Onah of a healthy Torah Scholar, which is one time per week, was set to be done on Friday evenings.[5] [Furthermore, even those who are not Torah scholars and perform Onah at greater intervals, such as the recommended twice weekly, are to designate Friday night as one of the set nights of Onah.[6] This is hinted to in the words, “Veshamru Bnei Yisrael Es HaShabbos,” which are an acronym for the word Biyah, alluding towards this.[7] This Mitzvah is also upon the wife.[8] For this reason, the husband is obligated to show his wife much affection and love, on Erev Shabbos, and it goes without saying that he is to avoid all conflict and arguing.[9] This is especially in light of the fact that on Erev Shabbos the side of evil tries to create discord and fighting in one’s home, and hence one requires extra strength to overcome his inclination towards anger and sternness.[10] Certainly, making oneself available to help his wife on Erev Shabbos is a most promising method of getting his wife to feel loved on Erev Shabbos.]

Obligation versus voluntary, and the law of one who already fulfilled his minimum Onah that week: [The above directive to have intimacy specifically on Friday night is not an obligation but rather a voluntary Mitzvah, as explained in the Q&A.[11] Furthermore, the intent of the Mitzvah is simply that one is to establish one of his minimum times of Onah [i.e. one of the two times required weekly by most people today] for Friday night, and not that one should do so in addition to his minimum Onah. See Q&A for the full details of this subject!] [However, those whose minimum Onah have been established for Friday night] must beware not to nullify the Mitzvah of Onah [on Friday night] in order not to transgress a negative Biblical command, unless his wife forgives him.[12] Furthermore, even in such a case that his wife forgives him, it is proper to fulfill [her Onah] as will be explained [in Halacha 5A].[13]

The reasons for why Shabbos is auspicious for intimacy: There are several reasons recorded for why one should designate Shabbos for his fulfillment of Onah with his wife, some based on Halacha and others based on Kabbalah:[14] 1.       Halacha – Oneg Shabbos:[15] There is a Mitzvah to have pleasure on Shabbos and included in the Mitzvah of Oneg Shabbos is to have marital intimacy. [Meaning, that just as according to Halacha one is required to embellish the meals of Shabos with delicious delicacies and special drinks,[16] so too, the same applies regarding marital intimacy, one is encouraged to establish his regular sessions of Onah intimacy to take place on Shabbos, in order to fulfill the Mitzvah of Oneg Shabbos. Nonetheless, having intimacy on Shabbos is not an obligation like eating the Shabbos meals, as explained in the coming Q&A, and it is just that the minimum Onah frequency should be scheduled for then.] 2.       Assists one in having correct intentions:[17] On Friday night one receives Divine assistance in sanctifying himself during intimacy and having the correct intentions and motivations. It helps one’s natural passion for intercourse to be imbued with a holy feeling as well. 3.       Holy passion:[18] On the night of Shabbos, the external fire of evil is extinguished, and when one becomes aroused in love through the fire of lust (of the left side), it is from holiness. 4.       Zohar – Passion and Holy children:[19] The Zohar, in various areas, elaborates on the auspiciousness of intimacy on Friday night. The following two reasons are mentioned, 1) it is a time that bodies and spirits are aroused, and 2) the children born of such intimacy are holy. 5.       Arizal – New souls come on Shabbos:[20] Rav Chaim Vital writes, “Shabbos is an auspicious time for the Onah of Torah scholars. The mystery behind it is that new souls only come to the world on Shabbos; during the week reincarnated souls are born. It is certain that if one’s wife conceives on Shabbos then the child will receive a new soul and be a pious Jew.” 6.       Hashem Himself did Zivug on Shabbos in the upper Sefiros:[21] Hashem made Zivug/unity in the upper worlds on Shabbos and not during the week, as stated in the verse, “Shavas Vayinafash,” and accordingly, the Torah scholar should likewise do so specifically on Shabbos. 7.       Does not corrode the body and cause fatigue:[22] Semen is the strength of the body, and is drawn from all the limbs, thus causing one fatigue when it is released. Shabbos, however, is the day of general rejuvenation for the world, and hence, intercourse on Shabbos has less of an effect on the body. Is one encouraged to increase in actions of pleasure during intimacy that takes place on Friday night? Although in general we rule that one is encouraged to sanctify himself during intimacy [see Chapter 6 Halacha 2], on Shabbos, there is room to argue that one is encouraged to do acts which increase his lust and pleasure as part of the fulfillment of Oneg Shabbos. Meaning, just as we instruct him to increase in eating delicacies on Shabbos, perhaps one should also increase in his passion and enjoyment of intimacy on Shabbos, and so can also be implied from the Mitzvah to eat garlic on Shabbos, as brought in Chapter 2 Halacha 5. However, just as we rule regarding eating delicacies on Shabbos, that it is only a Mitzvah when done L’sheim Shamayim (for the honor of Shabbos), the same likewise applies here regarding intimacy. Hence, one should not fool himself into fulfilling his own personal lustful desires in the guise of “Oneg Shabbos”; it should only be done when his true intent is to honor Shabbos. Furthermore, from the Setimas Kol Haposkim[23] it is implied that all the laws and regulations of sanctification during intimacy fully apply on Shabbos as well, and hence, one should not use Shabbos as a religious excuse to add in untoward actions of physical pleasure during intimacy.    Q&A on establishing Onah for Friday night Must one have intercourse on Friday night? May a couple choose to have intercourse on a different night instead of Friday night?[24] Having intercourse on Friday night, and selecting it as one of one’s obligatory times of Onah, is not a Halachic obligation but rather a voluntary Mitzvah.[25] Thus, it is permitted for a couple to choose to have intercourse on a different night instead of Friday, even if it is for a very weak reason. However, initially it is best to designate Friday night for the Onah, as explained above. This especially applies according to Kabbalah, as the Arizal writes[26] that, “On Shabbos one is obligated to love his wife and be intimate with her.”     May one abstain from intimacy on Friday night in order to stay up learning Torah, or join a Farbrengen, or another similar matter? It is better not to do so, as explained in Halacha 2D in the Q&A. However, if he already fulfilled his minimum Onah for that week, then he may certainly do so, unless his wife desires him, as explained in Halacha 3A.   Should one have intercourse on Friday night even if he already fulfilled his minimum requirements of Onah for that week [i.e. had intercourse twice during the week]?[27] The intent of the Mitzvah is simply that one should establish one of his minimum times of Onah [i.e. one of the two times required weekly (for most people today)] for Friday night, and not that one should, or must, do so in addition to his minimum Onah.[28] On the contrary, if one already fulfilled his minimum Onah that week, and his wife is not desiring him, and he has no urge to do so, then he should specifically not do so; as we generally rule that one should diminish in intimacy when there is no justifiable reason, and the Poskim[29] do not record that Shabbos is a justifiable reason to add in intercourse. Nevertheless, if his wife gets dressed up for him and desires him, or if he feels an urge for it, then he is to have Onah on Friday night, even if he already fulfilled his minimum Onah obligations, as explained in Halacha 3A. In such a case, he should have in mind to also do so for the sake of fulfilling the Mitzvah of Oneg Shabbos.   Q&A on Onah time When on Friday night is one to have intercourse?[30] On Shabbos, a non-Torah scholar may have relations even before midnight, although a Torah scholar may not have relations until after midnight, even on Shabbos. After the meal: The intimacy should take place after the conclusion of the meal when one is ready to retire for the night. Having intercourse prior to this time would cause the husband to become a Ba’al Keri, and to recite blessings under this impurity. It would likewise delay the proper preparations for Kerias Shema She’al Hamita until afterwards. If, however, the couple knows that they will be too exhausted after the meal is over and the intercourse will either not take place or be greatly jeopardized, then they may choose to do so [if there are no other people in the house who might notice] prior to the start of the meal. Alternatively, they may choose to end the meal early, such as by reciting Birchas Hamazon after the first course, and then having the remaining courses after the intimacy. They should not, however, be intimate prior to reciting Birchas Hamazon, as this would cause them to be required to rewash their hands with a disputed blessing [i.e. not saying Hashem’s name] as well as make an interval during the meal. However, they may be externally intimate during the meal with hugging and kissing, making sure not to touch any uncovered parts of the body. They may also leave during the meal and enter into their room for this purpose, if they will return shortly.[31] Rewashing of the hands if intimacy took place during the meal:[32] In all cases that intimacy took place prior to reciting Birchas Hamazon, even if actual intercourse did not take place (if normally covered parts of the body were touched), then the person who touched it is required to wash their hands again for the meal and to say the blessing of Al Netilas Yadayim without Hashem’s name [i.e. no Sheim Umalchus].   If one missed his obligatory time of Onah on Friday night, must he make it up during Shabbos day? See Halacha 2D in Q&A! May one have intimacy for the first time on Shabbos? See Appendix 3 Halacha 7. Q&A on Ba’al Keri and Mikveh May one who had intimacy on Friday night immerse in a Mikveh on Shabbos?[33] Yes. Even if one belongs to Lithuanian Jewry and is generally accustomed to avoid immersion in a Mikveh on Shabbos, he may immerse on Shabbos morning if he is a Ba’al Keri due to fulfilling Mitzvas Onah. So was done by Gedolei Yisrael.[34] If a Mikveh is not available, then he is to shower in cold water for 2-3 minutes, pouring on his head and body Nine Kavim of water. If this too is not available, then one may not delay the intimacy unless his wife is Mochel with a full heart, or he has already fulfilled his minimum requirement of Onah for that week.   May one abstain from intimacy on Friday night if he does not desire to become a Ba’al Keri and be required to immerse in a Mikveh? No, as stated above in the previous Q&A, unless he has already fulfilled his minimum requirement of Onah for that week.

B. Eating garlic and other foods which increase desire for intimacy:

Eating garlic on Erev Shabbos and Friday night:[35] It is an institution of Ezra [for married men whose wives are pure[36]] to eat [roasted or cooked[37] and some even say raw[38]] garlic or other foods [such as unsalted lentils[39] and the other foods listed below] which increase seed, on Erev Shabbos[40] [even for breakfast[41]] or on the night of Shabbos,[42] in order to fulfill the Mitzvah of Onah. [In addition to increasing seed, the Talmud[43] states that garlic causes love to enter and removes jealousy. Accordingly, some Poskim[44] rule that also women are to eat garlic.[45] Some Poskim[46] rule that raw garlic is not to be eaten, as it decreases seed (and gives bad breath[47]). The above applies only to one who is married,[48] however, one who is single, or whose wife is impure, is not to eat these foods lest he have a nocturnal emission.[49] One who could not perform the Onah on Friday night is to do so on Motzei Shabbos and make sure to eat garlic by Shabbos day for this purpose.[50]]

 

Other foods that increase seed and should be eaten on Erev Shabbos, or Friday night [and other times when intimacy is a Mitzvah, such as on Mikveh night or on a day of scheduled Onah[51]]:[52] The following are a list of other foods that have the quality of increasing seed, and are hence encouraged to be eaten on Friday afternoon or evening, just like garlic: 1) eggs,[53] 2) dairy,[54] [on Friday afternoon] 3) esrog,[55] 4) fatty meat, 5) aged red wine, 6) white wine, 7) hot small fish,[56] 8) unsalted cooked lentils [and other legumes, such as humus],[57] 9) melons,[58] 10) strong mint tea,[59] 11) gat leaf.[60] [If necessary, in order to get an erection, one may even use Viagra, as per doctors’ orders.]   Foods and activities that decrease seed and should not be eaten or performed on Erev Shabbos or Friday night [or other times when intimacy is a Mitzvah, such as on Mikveh night]:[61] The following foods and activities decrease one’s desire and hence should not be eaten or done on Erev Shabbos or Friday night if one is scheduled to have intimacy: 1) salted fish, such as herring,[62] 2) other salty foods (also diminish seed),[63] 3) Hunger,[64] 4) Sighing due to pain or worry,[65] 5) crying,[66] 6) wailing.[67] Q&A Is the wife also to eat garlic and the other above listed foods on Erev Shabbos or Friday night? As stated above, some Poskim rule that the wife should also eat garlic, as it increases love and removes jealousy. However, regarding the other foods, there is seemingly no reason for her to eat them.   Should/May one eat raw garlic? As stated above, some Poskim rule that raw garlic should not be eaten, as it actually decreases seed and gives bad breath, and only cooked garlic should be eaten. Other Poskim, however, rule that even raw garlic may be eaten, and so is the simple implication of Admur, as explained in the Halacha above, and in the footnotes there.   May one who has bad breath from garlic use mouthwash on Shabbos?[68] One who has bad breath, due to eating garlic, may use mouthwash on Shabbos to get rid of the bad smell, and so is advised.   Should even one who will not have relations on Shabbos [i.e. single, Niddah, out of town, etc.] eat garlic on Erev Shabbos? As stated above, such a person should abstain from eating garlic, although some are lenient, as explained above in the footnotes. Should one diminish in adding salt to foods on Erev Shabbos, and on Shabbos, in order not to decrease seed?[69] The custom is to salt one’s foods as usual on Erev Shabbos and on Shabbos, although certainly one should not add too much salt to his food due to the above reason. Should one add in eating the above foods that assist in intimacy also on other days of Onah obligation, or does it only apply to Erev Shabbos? Seemingly; although the institution of the sages to eat the above foods only applies to Erev Shabbos, nonetheless, it is proper to do so on all days of Onah obligation such as the night of mikveh, days of scheduled Onah, and the like.[70]

 

C. Having relations with one’s Kallah who is a virgin/Besula on Shabbos:[71]

It is permitted, even initially, to have relations with a virgin on Shabbos, and doing so does not transgress any prohibition.[72] See Appendix 3 Halacha 7A for the full details of this matter!

Q&A on Halachic impediments to Tashmish on Shabbos What is one to do if the light was left on in their room on Shabbos? In such a case, he is to have relations in a different room that does not have any lights on, if available, making sure to remove any Sefarim from the room. If no other room is available, then one is to establish a Mechitza that can block the light, in the manner explained in Chapter 5 Halacha 11B regarding Shabbos, or place a non-flammable covering over it which blocks its light.[73] If one is unable to do so then one may not have relations that night. If the couple left a light on in their bedroom may they ask a gentile to turn it off? Some Poskim[74] rule that one may be lenient to hint to a gentile to turn off the light, such as by telling him “I can’t sleep with the light on in my room.”[75] This leniency especially applies if the light is a florescent or LED light and one is worried that lack of intimacy can lead to Zera Levatala. May one have a child turn off the light? Some Poskim[76] rule that one may lift up a child who is below the age of Chinuch [less than 3 years old[77]] and have him play with the light switch to turn it off, without telling him to do so. This leniency especially applies if the light is a florescent or LED light and one is worried that lack of intimacy can lead to Zera Levatala. In all cases, it is forbidden for the child to be told to turn off the light.[78] May one remove Tefillin from his bedroom in order to permit marital relations? Some Poskim[79] rule it is permitted to do so.[80] However, from other Poskim[81] it is implied that it is forbidden to do so.[82] Practically, even according to the latter opinion, one may remove the Tefillin with an irregularity, or cover the Tefillin with a double covering, in order to permit marital relations.   May one cover his Tefillin on Shabbos in order to permit marital relations? Yes,[83] however, if one must move the Tefillin in the process, then it is best to move it with an irregularity, as stated above.   On Shabbos, may one close his bedroom closet door in order to permit marital relations [such as if it contains Sefarim]? Yes, it may be closed even if both doors were left open from before Shabbos, as it is similar to a divider attached to the wall which may be opened and closed.   On Shabbos. may one open a folded Mechitzah in order to make a Halachic division of a room, such as to enable marital relations?[84] If it was opened a handbreadth before Shabbos, then it may be completely opened. If it was not, then even if when folded its width reaches a handbreadth, nevertheless it may not be opened.[85] However, if it is attached to a wall then it may be opened.[86]   Medications which relate to marital relations If one feels weak or slightly sick, may he take medicine to give him strength to have intimacy on Shabbos?[87] No.[88] However, if it is the night of Mikveh, or another time of Onah obligation that cannot be pushed off, then he may do so.[89] It is best to take the medicine using an irregularity, such as to wrap it in a precut piece of tissue before swallowing it, or by first dissolving it in water before Shabbos or even on Shabbos itself.[90] May a man take Viagra on Shabbos, if necessary, for him to have intimacy?[91] Yes.[92]   May a woman take fertility pills to help with conception?[93] Yes, as there is no apparent illness.[94] However, some Poskim[95] write that it is best to dissolve the pill in water before Shabbos and then drink it.[96]   May a woman take a contraceptive pill on Shabbos?[97] One who has consulted with a Rav and received permission to be on a contraceptive may take the pills on Shabbos, as there is no apparent illness. May one take heart medication[98] for use prior to and after marital relations?[99] One is to dissolve the pill in water before Shabbos and may then drink it on Shabbos, as in such a way it is not noticeable that one is taking medication.[100] If this was not done then it is forbidden to take the pills on Shabbos, even through dissolving them in liquid,[101] unless it is one’s wife’s night of Mikveh.[102] Q&A relating to intimacy May one smear oil or gel on the body [i.e. genital area] on Shabbos for purposes of lubrication?[103] Oil:[104] It is permitted to smear unscented oil on one’s skin on Shabbos. Thus, one may use unscented oil, such as baby oil or liquid KY lubricant, as a lubricant without restriction. [Unlike a common misconception, there is indeed no smearing prohibition at all involved in rubbing liquid oil on one’s body, as this prohibition is limited only to thick substances that need to be evened when on top of a surface, such as melted wax, lard, or various creams.] Gel/Vaseline: It is Rabbinically forbidden to smear gels or creams on the skin on Shabbos due to the smearing prohibition.[105] Thus, one may not use a lubricant gel on Shabbos. Accordingly, Vaseline and KY gelly may not be used. One is not to even dab it onto the genitals, even if he does not plan on smearing it with his hands.[106] [In the event that one does not have any oil available, and is in need of lubricant to facilitate intimacy, then one may simply water down the gel inside a cup of water, and then spread the watered down substance onto the skin as needed.[107]] May one use mouthwash to get rid of bad breath on Shabbos?[108] Yes. [Accordingly, one who ate raw garlic on Erev Shabbos, or Friday night, is to use mouthwash on Shabbos to get rid of the smell.]   May one use perfume or cologne on Shabbos? One may not place perfume or cologne on his/her body or clothing on Shabbos or Yom Tov.[109] However, if the perfume or cologne was already placed on the body or clothing before Shabbos, then it is permitted to add to it on Shabbos so long as it retains the scent [i.e. the scent still remains, even if weak] and one adds more of the same scent.[110]

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[1] See Admur 280:1-3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:4; 280; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmonson-2015] p.  206-218

[2] Implication of Admur 280:1-2; However, one is not to add to the frequency of intercourse simply due to Oneg Shabbos, as we explained at length in the Q&A-See there!

[3] Admur 280:1; Michaber 280:1; Rambam 30:14; See Rashi Kesubos 62b; See yireim 412 “The Mitzvah of Oneg Shabbos… just as it applies to eating it also applies to the pleasure of one’s body, and there is a Mitzvah on a person to pleasure himself with bodily pleasure, which is also called Oneg.”; Sefer Peri Tzadik Bereishis Kuntrus Shevisas Hashabbos

Does this apply even today, and even if the Tashmish is done without sanctification: Some Poskim suggest that perhaps the entire Mitzvah of having intimacy on Shabbos only applies when it is done with Kedusha and Taharah, as Chazal instructed, however, when it is done like animals for sexual gratification, then on the contrary, it should not be done on Shabbos. [See Divrei Yatziv Y.D. 104:3; Pirush Eitz Erez in Siddur Ya’avetz new edition p. 374 that he heard from Alter Tzanzer Chassidim that for this reason they actually avoid Tashmish on Friday nights]

[4] Likkutei Torah Parshas Ki Sisa

[5] Admur 280:1, as was explained in chapter 240:1; See Igros Moshe E.H. 1:102

[6] Igros Moshe ibid that it is obvious that the above preference of Friday night is not limited to Torah scholars.

[7] Rosh Bava Kama 7:19; Binyamin Zev 245; K’neses Hagedola on Tur 240; Elya Raba 240:2; Peri Eitz Chaim Shaar 18:18; Beir Heiytiv 76:4; Siddur Ya’avetz Mitos Kesef 1:2; Kaf Hachaim 240:10; 280:2

[8] Perisha 280:1; Hagahos Ashri; Kaf Hachaim 280:2

[9] Bach 280 in explanation of Tur 280 “It seems that the Tur is coming to teach us that one must beware that prior to the arrival of night he is obligated to show her affection, and certainly may not fight on Erev Shabbos, and must appease her before Shabbos in the event that they got into a fight. In short, he should pursue her throughout Erev Shabbos to show her love and friendship in order so he does not nullify the Onah” and that so did Yehuda the son of Rebbe Chiyah; Ataz; Arizal in Likkutei Torah Parshas Ki Sisa; Kaf Hachaim 280:3; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmonson-2015] 12:1

[10] See Gittin 52a; Shabbos 113; Aruch Hashulchan 262:5; Mishneh Berurah 262:9; See Morah Ba’etzba 4:140 regarding after midday that the Sitra Achra tries very hard to make discord in the home and that “the husband is to subjugate his inclination and not arouse any dispute or K’peida, and on the contrary should search for peace.”; See Reishis Chochmah Sha’ar Hakedusha 16:34; Kaf Hachaim Falagi 27:35

[11] Igros Moshe E.H. 1:102; See Q&A

[12] Admur 280:2; Taz 280:1; Levush 280:1; Tur 280

[13] Admur ibid; M”A 240:1; Arizal in Peri Eitz Chaim Sha’ar Kerias Shema She’al Hamita 11

[14] See Levush 240:1 and in E.H. 76; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 1:2 and 4:2-4; Derech Pikudecha Asei 1; Noam Megadim Parshas Ki Sisa

[15] Admur 280:1; Levush ibid

[16] See Admur 242:1 and our corresponding Sefer “The Laws of Erev Shabbos and Motzei Shabbos” Chapter 1 Halacha 4

[17] Noam Megadim ibid; Siddur Ya’avetz Hanhagas Leil Shabbos [in end]

[18] Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya 3:22

[19] Zohar 1:14; 2:136; 2:204; 3:78; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 240 footnote 32

[20] Peri Eitz Chaim 16:11; Kaf Hachaim 240:10; Siddur Ya’avetz Mitos Kesef 1:2 and 4:3 that during weekdays the souls come from the Sitra Achra, while on Shabbos they come from Kedusha, as Hashem only made Zivug in the upper worlds on Shabbos and not during the rest of the week

[21] Siddur Ya’avetz Mitos Kesef 1:2

[22] Igeres Hakodesh of the Ramban Chapter 3; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 4:2

[23] The Poskim never mention that Shabbos is an exception to the rule of sanctification. Furthermore, most of the Sefarim which discuss sanctification refer to Torah scholars, whose time of Onah is only on the night of Shabbos, and hence if it were true that on the night of Shabbos one need not sanctify himself (and can do and think of whatever he wants for physical pleasure), then for whom were all their directives of sanctification said? The ignoramuses?! Thus, certainly even on Shabbos one must sanctify himself.

[24] Igros Moshe E.H. 1:102

[25] Meaning that although it is encouraged due to Oneg Shabbos, it is not similar to the eating obligation which cannot be skipped. [Igros Moshe ibid] Seemingly, the reason for this is because not everyone has the ability to have intimacy on Friday night and therefore the Sages could not establish it as an obligation.

[26] Likkutei Torah Parshas Ki Sisa

[27] See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 1:2

[28] Implication of Admur 280:1-2

[29] The Poskim [See Halacha 7C] do not mention that Shabbos is considered a justifiable reason to add in Onah, when one has already fulfilled his Onah obligations for that week, and do not list it as a reason to have intimacy.

[30] Sha’ar Hamitzvos  Bereishis; Sha’ar Hakavanos p. 3; Peri Eitz Chaim 16:11; 18:18; Kaf Hachaim 240:2; However, see Kaf Hachaim 240:10 that the new souls only come prior to midnight

[31] See Admur Seder 9:18, 178:8, Rama 178:7, that a short Hefsek is not a Hefsek at all by a matter of Kevius and footnote 141 of Rav Elyashvili that it is understood from here that it is even initially permitted; M”B 178:34 in name of Tosafos and Rosh; Kaf Hachaim 178:24; Piskeiy Teshuvos 178:9

[32] See Seder Netilas Yadayim Admur 17; Admur 164:2; Ketzos Hashulchan 39:15; Michaber 168:2

[33] See Betzel Hachochma 5:23; Shevet Halevi 6:28; Lehoros Nasan 4:31; Piskeiy Teshuvos 88 and 280:3

Regarding the allowance for a Ba’al Keri to immerse in a Mikveh on Shabbos: See Admur 326:7 “Nevertheless, a man is allowed to immerse [to purify himself] from a seminal discharge. The reason is, since this immersion is not Biblically required (and is not even a complete Rabbinical obligation) [therefore] it does not appear like one is rectifying [himself].”; M”A 326:8; Olas Shabbos; Elya Raba Tosefes Shabbos; Shulchan Atzei Shitim; Aruch Hashulchan 326:10; M”B 326:24; Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos 326:9 footnote 118

Regarding the importance to immerse in a mikveh on Shabbos day, even if not a Ba’al Keri: See Arizal Sha’ar Hakavanos Inyan Shacharis Shel Shabbos; Kaf Hachaim 260:6; Ketzos Hashulchan 133:4 footnote 8

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that a Ba’al Keri may not immerse in a Mikveh on Shabbos, as it appears like fixing [Biur Hagr”a 326:8, brought Biur Halacha 326:8 “Adam Mutar”; See M”A 128:70 and Admur 128:57] Even according to this opinion, however, one may immerse if he became a Ba’al Keri on Shabbos. [M”B ibid; Biur Halacha ibid] However, some were accustomed to be stringent even in such a case. [M”A and Admur ibid] The Gr”a, brought in Biur Halacha ibid, rules that since today we are accustomed not to bathe even in cold water, it therefore appears like one is fixing and one may thus not immerse for nocturnal emission. The Ketzos Hashulchan 133 footnote 8 however adds that today since many are accustomed to immerse for the sake of additional purity [which does not involve a fixing prohibition according to all] it therefore, once again, is unnoticeable that one is immersing for a nocturnal emission and thus even according to the Gr”a it would be allowed. See also Poskim in Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid who bring this ruling.

Ruling of Admur and M”A regarding Kohanim: The M”A 128:70 and Admur 128:57 [and Taz 128:37] explain that the Kohanim were accustomed not to do Nesias Kapayim on Shabbos due to the prohibition against immersing on Shabbos. See Nimukei Orach Chaim 326:1

[34] Piskeiy Teshuvos 88 footnote 7 in name of the Chafetz Chaim, Rav Chaim Kanievsky, and Rav Elyashiv

[35] Admur 280:2 [see also 608:8]; M”A 280; Taz 608:3; Rashal in Bava Kama 7:43; Bava Kama 82a that it is one of Ezra’s 10 Takanos for the Jewish people; Yerushalmi Megillah 4:1; Semag; Siddur Ya’avetz; M”B 280:1; Kaf Hachaim 280:1; Orchos Ish of Chazon Ish; Orchos Rabbeinu 3:231; Omitted from Rambam; See Machazik Bracha 280:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 280:4; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 12:3;

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that this custom of eating garlic is not followed today. [Chida in Machazik Bracha ibid that Rambam omits it in Sefer Hayad being that this custom is not followed in all times or places; Aruch Hashulchan 280:2; See also Rambam Pirush Hamishnayos Nedarim 8:6]

[36] Kaf Hachaim 280:1

[37] Sefer Chassidim 390 [roasted]; Machazik Bracha ibid [even cooked]; Sh’lah Sha’ar Haosiyos letter Kuf; M”B ibid; Kaf Hachaim 280:1; Sha’arei Rachamim 84 in name of Gr”a; Omitted in Admur ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim question whether the effect of cooked garlic is similar to the effect of raw garlic or to roasted garlic. [P”M 280 A”A 1; See Aruch Hashulchan 280:2 who implies that cooked garlic is like raw] Other Poskim rule that one may even eat raw garlic, and there is no difference between them. [Possible implication of omission of Admur 280:2 and 608:8, and so learns Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid footnote 5; Siddur Ya’avetz does not differentiate between raw and cooked garlic; Otzer Yad Hachaim 150; Yosef Ometz 611]

[38] Possible implication of omission of Admur 280:2 and 608:8, and so learns Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid footnote 5; Siddur Ya’avetz does not differentiate between raw and cooked garlic; Otzer Yad Hachaim 150; Yosef Ometz 611; Accordingly, some would eat even raw garlic if cooked garlic was not available. [Orchos Rabbeinu 3:231; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

[39] Sefer Chassidim 390; Elya Raba 280:1; Kaf Hachaim 280:1

[40] Admur ibid; Bava Kama ibid

[41] Taz 608:3 in name of Yam Shel Shlomo that so would do Torah Scholars; See Admur 608:8

[42] Admur ibid; Yerushalmi ibid; Rambam in Pirush Hamishnayos ibid

[43] Bava Kama ibid; Yerushalmi ibid

[44] Implication of Rosh on Bava Kama ibid “One should eat garlic on Erev Shabbos… and girls are included in this obligation”; Pesach Hadevir 280:3; Otzer Yad Hachaim 150; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 12 footnote 12

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the above rule applies only to men, and not to women. [Salmas Chaim 263; Implication of Perisha 280:1 in his understanding of Rosh ibid; See also Binyamin Zeev 245; See Pilpula Charifta on Bava Kama ibid; Toras Ha’ohel of Maharil Diskin; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 12:7]

[45] The reason: As it increases their seed, and causes love to enter while removing hate.

[46] Sefer Chassidim ibid; P”M 280 A”A 1; Poskim ibid in previous footnotes

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that one may even eat raw garlic, and there is no difference between raw or cooked. [Possible implication of omission of Admur 280:2 and 608:8, and so learns Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid footnote 5; Siddur Ya’avetz does not differentiate between raw and cooked garlic; Otzer Yad Hachaim 150; Yosef Ometz 611] Accordingly, some would even eat raw garlic if cooked garlic was not available. [Orchos Rabbeinu 3:231; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid]

[47] See Elya Raba 473:27 in name of Maharil and Vayaged Moshe p. 105 that it is for this reason that we don’t use garlic for Karpas

[48] And plans to have intimacy that evening.

[49] Implication of Admur ibid; Kaf Hachaim 280:1; Implication of Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 5:3; See Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 12 footnote 12

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that even one who is single is to eat garlic on Erev Shabbos. [Implication of Nedarim 31a; Ma’aseh Rav 124; Sefer Hilchos Hagr”a Uminhagav; Orchos Rabbeinu 3:231; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid and footnote 26; See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 12 footnote 12]

[50] Divrei Yatziv Y.D. 105

[51] See Q&A below

[52] See Admur ibid “It is an institution of Ezra to eat garlic or other foods which increase seed, on Erev Shabbos.”; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 5:3 “Garlic and all foods avoided by the Kohen Gadol on Erev Yom Kippur”; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid

[53] Admur 608:8; Machatzis Hashekel 608:6 in name of Rambam in Pirush Hamishnayos

[54] Admur 608:8; M”A 608:6

Hot versus cold dairy: Some Poskim learn that only hot dairy products have the ability to increase seed. [M”A 608:6 in name of Rambam; P”M 608 A”A 6; Mateh Efraim 604:18] This differentiation was omitted by Admur (ibid), thus implying that also cold dairy increases seed. See Sheyikadesh Atzmo footnote 6

How much dairy: It does not suffice to eat a dish which has only a small amount of dairy in it, such as a coffee with milk. [See P”M ibid; Mateh Efraim 604:18; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid]

[55] Yuma 18; Machatzis Hashekel 608:6

[56] Machatzis Hashekel 608:6 in name of Rambam in Pirush Hamishnayos; Alef Hamagen 608:2 and in Kitzei Hamateh; Sefer Hamidos Erech Achila; Kesav Sofer Behalosecha 103; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid footnote 7 [see there for sources regarding hot versus cold fish and small versus other size fish]; See Sotah 11b, and Shemos Raba 8, brought in Me’am Loez Shemos Chapter p. 31 [new edition] “Hashem made a miracle that when the wives went to draw water, they would find a bucket filled with small fish, which would help give energy and strength to their tired husbands. They would boil two pots of water, one with the fish and one without. They would bathe their husband’s legs and feet and feed them. From the subsequent unity many children were born.”

[57] Sefer Chassidim 390; Elya Raba 280:1 [includes all legumes]; Kaf Hachaim 280:1; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid footnote 8

[58] Kesav Sofer Behalosecha 203 in name of Taz

[59] Kuntrus Shoshanas Hamakim

[60] Kuntrus Shoshanas Hamakim

[61] See Machazik Bracha 280:2; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 12:5 and 8

[62] Sefer Chassidim 390

[63] Sefer Chassidim 390; Kaf Hachaim 280:1

[64] Gittin 70a

[65] Kesubos 62a; Ya’avetz in his glosses on Kesubos ibid; Kaf Hachaim 240:66

[66] Gittin 70a

[67] Kesavim Refu’im L’Rambam 4 p. 49

[68] See C in Q&A; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 14:4

[69] Sheyikadesh Atzmo 12:6; See Likkutei Chaver Ben Chaim 1 166 p. 30 that some are accustomed not to dip their foods in salt on Friday night due to this reason

[70] Vetzaruch Iyun as to why this was not explicitly mentioned in Poskim

[71] Admur 280:3; Michaber 280:2; E.H. 63:1; Rambam Shabbos 30:14; Kesubos 7a

Other opinions: Some communities are accustomed not to have relations with a Besula on Shabbos, and accordingly it is forbidden to do so in such communities. [Bach 280] Practically, however, we do not rule like this opinion, and it remains permitted to have relations with a Besula on Shabbos even in such communities, and so was the practice of Gedolei Yisrael, and one who is stringent is doing a strange act. [Taz 280:2; Olas Tamid 281:2 that being stringent can lead to Zera Levatala; Tosefes Shabbos 280:3; Yalkut Chadash “Shabbos” writes that Yaakov consummated the marriage with Leah on Friday night; Kaf Hachaim 280:6 that so is the custom in Jerusalem to get married on Erev Shabbos and have relations on Friday night]

[72] The reason it does not contain a pain or injury prohibition: Doing so does not contain a prohibition due to the pain [he is causing her] on Shabbos with her first intercourse. Likewise, there is no prohibition of [causing an] injury with the fact that it extracts blood [Admur ibid; Michaber 280:2; Rambam Shabbos 30:14], being that the blood of the hymen is not absorbed within the walls of the womb but is rather gathered there, like it is guarded and hidden within a vessel, and [the intercourse] is [merely similar] to opening the vessel in order so that the blood leaves. [Admur ibid; Rashi on Kesubos ibid and 133b]

The reason it does not contain the prohibition of making an opening: Likewise, there is no prohibition involved in him making an opening in the woman’s body, being that it is an action not needed for the sake of her body, as one has no need for this opening to be open, as a virgin is more desirable. [Furthermore] even according to those who say that one who performs an action not needed for the use of the body is liable, nevertheless [here it is permitted, since] one is destroying, as a virgin is of more prestige than one who already had relations, and all those who destroy are exempt. Now, although initially it is Rabbinically forbidden to [do such an action on Shabbos] even if it is not done for the need of the body in discussion and one is only destroying, nevertheless in a situation which involves a Mitzvah, the Sages did not decree [against it]. [Admur ibid; Taz 280:2; Bach 280; Kesubos 5b; Rashi and Tosafus Kesubos ibid] Furthermore, the entire prohibition against making an opening is due to “fixing a vessel,” as will be explained in chapter 328 [Halacha 32 – there it is explained that it is forbidden to puncture a pimple for the purpose of making a hole so air enters and heals it], and when one does not have a use for this opening, it is not a fixing at all, and one has not done anything, as explained there [in 328:32 – there it is explained that it is permitted to puncture a pimple in order to release puss, as one has no intent to allow the air to enter, it is thus not considered fixing]. [Admur ibid]

[73] Admur 277:8 regarding covering a lamp

[74] Bris Olam Dinei Amira Lenachri 7:12; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 280:3; 276:2; 277:4; 278:1; See Admur 307:7 [permits hinting]; 307:12 [permits Shvus Deshvus for the sake of a Mitzvah]

[75] The reason: In times of need one may be lenient, being that it is for the need of a Mitzvah [and according to many Poskim electric light is merely a Rabbinical prohibition.

[76] Piskeiy Teshuvos 343 footnote 8; See Admur 343:10 “However, it is permitted to give items to a baby on Shabbos, which he is able to do prohibited actions with for himself, even if one knows that he will do these actions with them”

[77] If the child is above the age of three, then one is to be stringent to not do so due to the suspicion that perhaps the child has reached the age of understanding that certain things may not be done on Shabbos, in which case they are obligated to keep Shabbos due to Chinuch.

[78] Admur 343: 5 and 8; 265:10; Ketzos Hashulchan 147:3 footnote 11

^[79] Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach in SSH”K 20:10 footnote 24

[80] The reason: As moving Tefillin from one’s bedroom in order to permit marital relations is considered like limkomo and is permitted. [ibid]

[81] Tehila Ledavid 3:51; Beir Moshe 8:30-31

[82] This is dependent on whether moving the Tefillin in such a case is defined as moving for its space or not, as discussed in the above Poskim.

[83] Regarding the prohibition of covering a Muktzah item on Shabbos for the sake of the Muktzah – see Admur 310:10 for two opinions on the subject and seemingly here one may be lenient according to all as it is not really being done on behalf of the Tefillin but rather on behalf of the person. Vetzaruch Iyun. See Ketzos Hashulchan 113 Halacha 2 who rules like the stringent opinion. However, see M”B 308:17 and 310:22 who rules like the lenient opinion, as so rules also the Beir Hagoleh, Gr”a and Derech Hachaim

[84] Piskeiy Teshuvos 315:3

[85] M”B 315:11 in name of Chayeh Adam

[86] So rules SSH”K 24:35

[87] Piskeiy Teshuvos 280:5

[88] See Admur 328:1; 328:19-20

[89] Minchas Yitzchak 1:108

The reason: As one may take medicine on Shabbos for the sake of a Mitzvah, just as it is permitted to be done for the sake of a Choleh Sh’eiyn Bo Sakana. [Minchas Yitzchak ibid]

[90] See Maharsham on Orchos Chaim 532:3; Ketzos Hashulchan 138 footnote 31; Minchas Yitzchak 6:28; Beir Moshe 1:33; Shevet Halevi 3:36; 8:82

[91] Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refu’it [Shteinberg] 7 p. 475 in name of Koveitz Asia 73-74 p. 27; Mayan Omer 2:249; See also Poskim in previous and coming Q&A

[92] The reason: As there is no real illness and medicine is permitted to be taken by one who is healthy for non-medicinal purposes, as rules Admur 328:43 regarding swallowing eggs to better one’s voice. Furthermore, it is being done for the sake of a Mitzvah. Furthermore, even if it were to be defined as an illness, it should be defined as Sakanas Eiver, for which, taking medicine is permitted. [See Poskim ibid]

[93] Piskeiy Teshuvos 328:1; 280:5

[94] Beir Moshe 1:33; See Maharam Brisk 3:24; Chelkas Yaakov 3:23; Tzitz Eliezer 11:37; Chemdas Tzvi 3:41

[95] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 328:1

[96] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 328:1

[97] Beir Moshe 1:33-10; Piskeiy Teshuvos 280:5; See Az Nidbaru 3:12; SSH”K 34 footnote 82 in name of Rav SZ”A

[98] People who suffer from high blood pressure may need to take medication prior to having marital relations so that their blood pressure not soar too high.

[99] Piskeiy Teshuvos 280:2

[100] Beir Moshe 1:33-9

[101] So rules Beir Moshe ibid and so is implied from Minchas Yitzchak 1:108 which only writes with regards to Leil Tevilah.

[102] Beir Moshe ibid, Minchas Yitzchak ibid

[103] See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 12:9

[104] Admur 327:1-2; Michaber 327:1-2; 328:22; Mishneh Shabbos 111a and 134b and 147a

[105] Admur 314:21 regarding thick fat and the same applies to a gel;

Regarding a cream or gel that is meant to be completely absorbed within the skin, some Poskim are lenient: See Minchas Yitzchak 7:20 in name of Da’as Torah; Piskeiy Teshuvos 328:18. This allowance, however, would not apply in the case of lubrication for purposes of intimacy, in which one does not desire it to become absorbed in the skin.

[106] Admur ibid regarding wax that one may not even dab in the opening of the hole and the implication is that the same applies to thick oil or fat, that it too may not even be placed on, thus implying that one may never dab a gel, due to the fact that one may come to smear it [However, Tzaruch Iyun from Admur 328:27 who omits this prohibition, and thus perhaps one can conclude according to Admur that in general dabbing the gel is permitted, and it is only in the specific case where wax is commonly used that we prohibit even gel. Nonetheless, in this case it should be forbidden even according to Admur, as he ends up smearing the gel with his body, as explained below]; Implication of Michaber 314:11; Rosh Shabbos 33 and M”B 252:38 [forbids placing thick Kilor on eyes because one may come to smear]; M”B 314:46; Hilchos Shabbos B’shabbos 3:169; Avnei Yashpei 2:32; Piskeiy Teshuvos 314:11; Shevet Halevi 4:33 in conclusion is only lenient during a time of need;

The reason: If one dabs it, he may come to smear it as he usually does. [Admur ibid regarding wax; M”B ibid and ibid] Furthermore, the intercourse causes the gel to become smeared, and one intends for this to happen in order to benefit from the lubricant.

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that one may dab gel on the skin on Shabbos without smearing it. [Implication of Admur 328:27 who omits reason of Rosh and M”B ibid that one may come to smear; Chazon Ish O.C. 52:16; Shevet Halevi 4:33 in his initial ruling permits dabbing using the tube, as it’s a Shinuiy, and concludes that for the sake of healing Choleh Sh’eiyn Bo Sakana one may be lenient and also in a time of great need; SSH”K 33:14; Piskeiy Teshuvos 328:20; Beir Moshe 1:36-4; 2:59; 3:155 ] However, seemingly in this case one should be stringent according to all, as one intends for the dabbed product to be smeared during penetration, hence smearing will intentionally occur one way or the other.

[107] Or Letziyon 2:36-6

[108] Admur 303:19; 328:42 “One may not chew a species of resin called Mastichi and may not rub a drug on one’s teeth when one’s intention in doing so is for healing purposes. However, if he is only doing so to [remove foul] odor from his mouth, then it is allowed.”; Michaber 328:36; Tosefta brought in Rif and Rambam; Sheilas Ya’avetz 1:42; Piskeiy Teshuvos 328:26 based on 328:42; Beir Moshe 1:34; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 14:4

[109] Admur 511:7 and 321:7; Rama 511:4; Beitza 23a; Taz 511:8; Halachos Ketanos 1:19; Ben Ish Chaiy 2 Tetzaveh 11; Rav Poalim 2:51; Shoel Umeishiv Tinyana 2:7; Minchas Yitzchak 6:26 [see below in opinion of M”B]; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 128:44 and 511:44 and so concludes the Kaf Hachaim ibid; Magen Avraham 511:11; 128:8 prohibits placing the scent into water, although he does not mention if this prohibition applies even if the scent was placed there from before Shabbos.

Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule that the prohibition of Molid Rei’ach does not apply to one’s skin, being that the smell does not last, and hence, it is permitted to place perfume/cologne onto the body on Shabbos. [Chacham Tzvi 92; Elya Raba 128:8; Ginas Veradim 3:16; Nechpah Bakesef 4; Sha’areiy Teshuvah 511:4; Mishneh Berurah 128:23 and so is implied from 511:28; Beir Moshe 1:34 rules one may be lenient by skin, although one who is stringent is blessed; SSH”K 14:32 rules leniently that perfume may be applied anywhere onto one’s body, as learns the Chacham Tzvi, as brought in M”B]

[110] Admur 511:7; Beitza 23a regarding rubbing a myrtle; Admur’s learning in M”A 511:11 and 658:2 regarding an Esrog; Rav SZ”A 15 footnote 237; See Machatzis Hashekel 658:2; Shabbos Kehalacha 18:2 Biurim 1; Implication of Rashi Beitza ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that one may not add more smell to an item even if it already contains that same smell. [Implication of M”A 511:11; M”B 511:26; SSH”K 15:77; Beir Moshe 1:34; See Shabbos Kehalacha ibid]

Placing perfume onto one’s hair: Is forbidden according to all opinions, being that hair is considered like clothing, which all agree contains the prohibition of Molid Rei’ach. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 327:1, see Minchas Yitzchak ibid.]

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